Soft
Chapter Two
We continue our game every night after that. I come over, we talk, then I fall to my knees in front of her and make her come. Sometimes she's on her bed, sometimes sitting at the table, sometimes on the floor. It makes me feel good about myself. That she enjoys it. I know it's not me, personally. Not stupid, I am a bloke, and it's not me that makes her wet. Like to think that what I do might though.
Sometimes she brings me off afterwards, other times I do it. It don't take much. Just something about the whole thing that does it for me. I want her. I want to sink into her and lose myself completely. Her softness beckons me. I feel that she would be easy to lose myself in. She reminds me of paintings I saw in France once. Voluptuous women, soft, welcoming. The artists' mistresses. Dru could be soft and welcoming when it took her fancy. I would bite her shoulder like a ripe peach.
So we continue giving each other these brief moments of comfort.
Then one night, when we're both lying on her bed, just talking, she looks at me with that little frown she gets when she's working up to a question.
"Go all grr argh for me," she says, complete with actions.
---
I went to the Magic Box and asked Anya for books about Spike when he was unchipped and scary. Anya didn't care about why I wanted the books, as long as I returned them in good condition. She chatted away to me while I read. Willow's been really miserable, she told me. Anya wanted me to get back with Willow in case she decided to go after Xander again. It's hard to explain things to Anya, so I just told her that things were complicated. So I read the books.
Spike has done horrible things. Evil things. It's hard to reconcile the man who sits and talks with me at night with the creature described in the books. I didn't know him before he was chipped. Willow had told me some of the things he'd done, why they all found it hard not to dislike him still. And the things he had done to her, kidnapping her, trying to kill her, it made me dislike him too. I was there when he turned everyone against each other, and there when he chained up Buffy. But I've also seen him the whole summer Buffy was dead, caring for Dawn and helping us keep Sunnydale safe. True he was being completely obnoxious and rude the whole time, but he didn't have to do it. And…we were both victims of Glory. Both of us because we were protecting Dawn. And now, we're both left by ourselves because Buffy and Willow are the real Scoobies, and we were just borrowing their friends.
They said I was family.
Before I left, Anya told me she wanted to invite me to the wedding, but only if it wouldn't be uncomfortable. I told her it was up to Willow.
I thought about Spike all the way home. About his vampire self. The thing that stood out, in all the hundred and thirty years of watcher's reports, was his devotion to Drusilla. Angelus and Darla were in the same books. They betrayed each other constantly. Spike…stayed.
He looks at me curiously when I ask him to vamp out. Then he nods his head briefly
"All right then." And he does.
---
"What does it feel like?" she asks, and then reaches out a hand and tentatively touches my face. I try not to shudder, having her touch me like that. So trusting, not afraid. She studies my face as I try to describe the subtle differences. There's not much really, human face me and vamp face me, they're both me. S'pose some would say the vamp face is the real me and the human face is my disguise. Others would say, that my human face is what I really look like. Dunno. They're both me. Only difference is, one I wear when I'm feeding, one- well I can feed without vamping, but it's hard. The bloodlust is fiercer when I go game face.
She just watches me. Her hand slips down from my brow to my fangs. She traces a finger lightly over my lips and then just brushes my fangs.
"It would hurt you if I cut myself," she says, almost as if she's talking to herself.
The thought sends a surge of heat to my groin. The thought of tasting her blood is an instant aphrodisiac. But, yes, I imagine it would hurt. And I don't expect Tara really wants a snarling vampire frothing at the mouth trying to lick up her blood when she cuts her finger on my teeth.
"Yes, love, I think so. Hurt you too I expect. They're nasty sharp things. Let's not try it, hey?"
She smiles softly and then suddenly she rolls away.
---
I take a brooch from the top drawer of my bedside table and roll back to Spike. Watching him carefully, I unhook the sharp pin on the back of the gold filigree and prick my thumb with it. I watch the pupils of his golden eyes dilate as a fat drop of blood forms on my thumb.
---
Know how I said I didn't think Tara wanted a snarling vampire hungry for her blood? My mistake.
An eternity seems to pass as she pricks her thumb and the crimson drop wells, forming a perfect red bead. And we just look at each other. The scent of blood fills my nose. And I am a Master Vampire. I have ---some--- restraint. Not some fledgling who can't control himself at the slightest hint of blood. The bloody Scooby gang are always getting themselves nicked and scratched. Soon give me short shift if I went predator on them every time. So I can control myself. But this, this is so erotic. So tantalising. This sweet, pure thing, her blood before me. I'm desperate for it.
Ragged unneeded breath comes from my lungs as I struggle to hold myself back. To stop myself from throwing myself at her, dragging her thumb into my mouth, sucking her essence. Ruining this game. Because I'm not sure why she's doing this. Could be testing me, see if I would hurt her. Half a year ago, even two weeks ago, I wouldn't have cared about failing her test. Do now. I grip the blanket tightly.
She looks at me and takes in a breath.
Then she reaches her hand out and smears the blood across my lower lip.
---
I find my chest constrict and I gasp in a breath as his tongue darts out to taste my blood on his mouth and then sucks his lower lip in, savouring the taste. I reach up again to repeat the action, but he catches my hand in his and lifts it to his mouth, that lovely long tongue dancing over my thumb. I find myself arching towards him unconsciously. And his free hand runs up under my skirt. His eyes are orange now, the pupils dark and dilated.
An animalistic whimper comes from his throat as I run my free hand over his thigh.
---
Her hand dances over my groin, sending more sparks through my body. The taste of her blood, human blood, given freely, is heaven in itself. My hand slips inside her damp knickers, and her hand works open the buttons on my jeans.
---
We lie beside each other on the bed, my hand in his as he licks my blood from my index finger, vampire anti-coagulant letting it flow. His other hand on me, caressing inside my panties, my other hand on him, stroking his hardness. He licks along my thumb now, down to my wrist up to the pinprick, a few spots of blood still forming.
---
And then, in a sudden flick she cuts herself on my fang.
No pain.
---
The sound that comes from Spike is raw. It sends shudders to my very soul. And as his tongue grazes over my bleeding index finger, his finger slips inside me. I cry out at this delicious intrusion. He's never touched me like that before, only his tongue has been inside me - where only Willow has been before. He bucks into my hand, and we press into each other.
---
I suck her finger into my mouth gently, savouring, drinking every drop of the sweet warm blood that flows from the cut. Her gasps and cries as I delve into her, the feel of her heat on my fingers, the feel of her against my palm and the heel of my hand as I rub against her, and the feel of her hand on me - it's intoxicating. Too much. We are so close now, our legs entwining as we writhe against each other. And our eyes never break contact. She watches me drink her. So beautiful. So sweet. She quivers and tightens about my fingers and I see her eyes widen and dilate as she comes.
Oh god, oh yes pet. I thrust harder into her hand as she throbs around my fingers and her sweet blood slicks my tongue.
Fuckyeessohgnnurrgh. Oh god.
---
We lie still beside each other for a long time after that, just looking at each other. That was incredibly intense. And all I can think is there was no violence in it at all.
Spike's normal, human face is back. He smiles at me, softly, lazy satisfaction. I like that look on his face. I feel pleased with myself. He's still licking my finger, which has nearly stopped bleeding. He's already done licking his own fingers and the ones on my other hand. He's very orally fixated. I'm beyond blushing at where that thought leads me.
"What you thinking 'bout love?"
"Just about you."
He curls my hand closed and wraps his around it.
"Good thoughts?"
"Good thoughts."
---
"I didn't know your name was William," she says then, sitting up a bit.
I grin, and let go of her hand, grabbing the ends of the ribbons tying her bodice to play with. "You never heard of William the Bloody?"
"They didn't tell me, they just said, 'oh that's Spike'."
I roll my eyes. "Bloody typical, no respect. So where'd you find out then?" I tug gently at the ribbons and absently wrap them around my fingers.
She raises her eyebrow is such a wicked way, a single thought forms in my mind: minx.
"You didn't use your mojo or anything did you?" I ask suspiciously. Witchcraft makes me nervous. Specially the kind Glinda does.
"Yes, I sacrificed the first lamb of a virgin ewe to the dark lords to find out your deep dark secrets." Sarcasm from Tara? I'm beginning to like her more and more.
I chuckle.
"You got hold of some of the Watcher's books didn't you?"
"Vampire clans of Europe 1800-1950," she says.
I pull a face. "S'pose it had all sorts of shite 'bout my dearly beloved poof of a grand sire."
"Some," she said, and her expression is serious. "I know what kind of man you are Spike. You're more than what they wrote about you. You're some of that, but you're so much more. I see that."
I sit quietly for a moment. Not sure what to say. Part of me feels like scoffing, making a light remark, to lessen how important her words are to me, show I'm not that bloody soft, but the rest of me doesn't want to, doesn't want to lessen this gift.
So I do the only thing I can think of.
I kiss her.
I pull back and Tara is looking at me, shocked.
I look down. Bloody hell.
"Sorry love," I say. Bugger. "Didn't mean…spur of the moment. I mean…Sorry."
---
Spike's fumbling for words of apology and all I can think is how nice it felt.
"Um, it's, it's ok. It's ok," I say. I give him a self-deprecatory smile. "I mean, it's not like we haven't exchanged bodily fluids before."
He quirks his scarred eyebrow and considers me for a moment.
"Willow needs her head read, you know that?" he says.
And I hit him with a purple satin cushion.
Because what he said made my tummy tingle. And so did the kiss.