The Bronze

Silent Understandings

By Binzey

Xander stumbled and would have fallen if it had not been for he strong grip on the back of his shirt. Turning around he glared at the vampire "What the hell was that for Fangless?" he demanded.

Spike smirked at the human standing in front of him. There was a steel edge to Xander's voice and his eyes flashed dangerously. Anyone else wouldn't have noticed it, but Spike did. "What?" he asked innocently

"You know what" Xander snapped, stepping closer to the vampire, so close that their faces were almost touching.

"For not letting you fall?" Spike asked. His tone of voice bewildered and his facial expressions masked. Sparkling blue eyes wide. A total picture of innocence.

Xander couldn't help it. He laughed. Not once had he seen Spike look and sound so innocent. If Xander didn't know any better he would have believed it. "Come on Fangless, lets get some beer." He spoke as he turned away from the vampire and made his way over to the bar.

Spike watched his retreating form before following slowly, shaking his head slightly in amusement. It was unusual how the boy could slip so quickly from one emotion to other. He guessed it had something to do with the fact that he always masked his true feelings.

As he reached the bar he noticed that Xander had already ordered him a beer. Picking up the bottle he raised it, "Ta Whelp"

Nodding his head in response Xander took a slow drink from his own bottle before asking, "Why do you never use our real names?

Caught of guard by the sudden question, Spike frowned before asking "What?"

Xander rolled his eyes before continuing. "I mean I'm always Whelp" Frowning he continued "Isn't a Whelp a puppy or a young fox or wolf or summit? Anyway, Willow's always Red; Buffy's the Slayer and Giles the Watcher. Why do you never call us our real names?"

"Why'd ya never call me an Peaches ours" Spike responded.

"Hey, you can't answer a question with a question, it's not fair. Plus I asked you first!"

The vampire thought for a few moments before answering. "It's less personal. Humans to vampires are just food. Happy meals on legs, you could say" Taking another drink, he continued. "Would you name a pig then eat it?" he asked

"I suppose you've got a point, I never thought of it that way before." Xander took a drink before continuing "And actually yea I ate the school mascot . . .It was a pig, well more like a piglet"

Spike threw his head back and laughed. "You ate the school mascot? Common you gotta be jokin mate"

"Not joking, and I wasn't exactly myself at the time" When Spike frowned, he clarified more. "I was possessed by a Hyena. And that Deadboy Jr is a story you're never going to hear about"

"Oh common you cant leave a vamp hanging like that." Spike pleaded.

"Nope not gonna say, you cant make me" He answered, before finishing his drink. He was just about to ask for another drink when Spike interrupted him.

"Bottle of whiskey an two glasses" When the barman returned he paid; picket up the bottle and glasses before moving to a small table. Xander swallowed thickly before following. Taking a seat facing Spike he let out a deep breath before picking up his now poured drink. "It's not going to work you know" He stated before downing the drink.

Pouring another large measure in the glasses, Spike answered simple "Don't know what you mean mate" swallowing the drink in one gulp, he grimaced and waited for the Whelp to finish his. Pouring another round he asked, "You never answered my question before mate. Why do you never call me n Peaches our names"

Xander swallowed his drink quickly and coughed as the liquid stung the back of his throat. "Its along story, you wouldn't wanna hear it" He stated simply.

"I'm all ears pet" He answered as he poured another drink.

Xander downed it quickly before attempting to answer. "Before Buffy came to town, everything was fine you know?" Checking to see if Spike was listening, he realised he had the vampires full attention. Sighing he continued his story. "Well as fine as anything could ever be living on the Hellmouth. No one ever really thought much about the deaths, it was just seen as being normal." Sighing he looked away from Spike as he felt a sudden wave of sadness. He had never told anyone about his past before and it was hard. Taking a deep breath, he continued " I was at a funeral every couple of months. Lots of people I knew were killed by unusual circumstances, I didn't know what was happening then, but that soon changed." Sighing, he gratefully took a drink of the Whiskey Spike had pored. Nursing the rest o it in his hands he continued to speak. "There were three of us then, me Jesse and Willow." Smiling at the memory, he looked back at Spike, who was still sitting silently, a look of curiosity flickered in his blue orbs. " You never met Jesse, he was great you know. He was my best friend." Pulling out his wallet he showed Spike the picture that he never removed.

Spike studied it silently. It was a picture of Xander, Willow and another boy, Jesse he assumed. They looked so happy, smiling for the camera, and so young . . . so innocent. Spike studied the picture a little harder; Xander was sitting in the middle with a big goofy grin on his face, while Willow and Jesse sat on either side of him. Protective arms wrapped around the smaller boy's frame. Spike just had time to see the faint bruising to the Whelps face before the picture was taken away from him. Spike frowned slightly, why would the boy be all bruised like that? The other two obviously knew. He had studied many humans over his hundred years plus of life and knew the embrace the kids shared was pure protectiveness. What would they be protecting him from? He silently wondered, they didn't know about vampires and demons then.

Silently he studied the youth sitting before him but Xander only smiled as he glanced at the picture in his hand. Placing in back in his pocket he continued to speak "We knew each other since we were kids. He was always there for me, even when my parents . . ."

And suddenly it all fell into place. Spike felt a wave of anger and protectiveness. Anger towards his parents and protectiveness towards Xander. The kid had been through a lot, more so than the rest of them, and yet he never spoke of it until now. Keeping quiet he watched as Xander began to speak again.

Clenching his jaw at the bitter memory, the dark hared boy continued to speak "We were inseparable. But then Buffy came to town and everything changed." There was a bitter edge to his voice but he continued anyway. " We found out about vampires. The Harvest was near, the Master needed sacrifices, Willow was nearly killed and Jesse . . . Jesse was taken by Darla. . . " Suddenly he broke off and covered his eyes with the palm of his hands. Resting his elbows on the table he took a deep breath. "God this is hard" He muttered softly.

Spike looked at the youth in front of him and silently regretted asking the question. But he knew it was for the best. He had gathered, within the weeks of staying with the boy, that his main aggression came from the anger towards vampires. He knew it was best that the boy to speak about it so he could move on. He had heard Xander muttering in his sleep in the middle of a nightmare, and sometimes the name Jesse was spoken before the youth woke up covered in sweat and shivering with fear. He had pretended he was asleep when the boy had cried and rocked himself back to sleep. Sighing he reached over to the boy.

Xander jerked up quickly as he felt a reassuring hand on his arm. "Take as much time as you need . . . Xander" Spike spoke softly.

Xander studied the vampire in front of him a moment and was surprised to find the statement true. There was no hint of mockery. His facial expressions only held concern and reassurance. "Thanks" he muttered before continuing, more calmly than before. "I tried to save him, I tried so hard, but like always I was too late." Sighing, he continued. "He was vamped an I . . I had to stake him. I looked into his eyes as the stake plunged in and I watched his shock and pain as he turned to dust." Glancing up at Spike, he was surprised to see pity in his blue eyes. "I killed my best friend and I've hated vampires since then. They tried to feed me the bullshit that what a vampire becomes has nothing to do with the human. But it was him, I know it was." Taking another drink, he continued. "I've seen it in Angel and Angelus and I've seen it in you, not to mention I've read the Watcher diaries." He smirked. "So now you know why I hate vampires and I guess that's the reason I take my anger out on you and Deadboy. Like you said before, it's easier to be less personal"

Spike nodded his head, finally understanding and not knowing what to say. Instead he decided to say nothing and poured another drink. Swallowing his own he watched Xander do the same.

"Thanks Spike, I never knew how much that memory was holding me down. It's like a big weights been lifted of my shoulders" The youth spoke in wonder.

"No problem. If you need to talk again I'm here. Remember that" Spike spoke softly as he lit a cigarette.

The earnest truth in the vampires expression and voice made Xander smile in gratitude. Pouring another round of drinks, he looked Spike in the eye. "The same goes for you Spike"

Smiling they both downed their drinks in silence. The silence stretched for a couple of minutes as Xander refilled the empty glasses with the amber liquid.

"So Whelp" Spike spoke, breaking the silence, as he picked up his glass. "You gonna tell me about the hyena possession yet?"

Xander laughed before quickly downing his drink. "Not a change Fangless, not a chance"

The drinks were refilled and Spike smirked. There was still a quarter of the bottle of Whiskey left to drink and there was plenty more where that came from. He would find out.

The Bronze music boomed on around them and they both smiled.

A silent understanding had passed between them.

 

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