All The Madness

By Bri

Lindsey checked his watch for the twentieth time in as many minutes, reassuring himself that he wasn't anxious, he just wanted to know what time it was. Did it matter if it was ten o'clock and she still had yet to show? Faith was a creature of the night. She might not show up for another hour or two. It didn't mean anything that she'd been showing up regularly between nine-thirty and ten every night for the last two weeks, and here it was ten and she wasn't here yet. No, it didn't mean a single thing whatsoever.

And that wasn't a sigh of relief when he saw her hovering in the doorway, looking around, but trying not to be obvious about it. When her gaze landed on him, he smiled coolly, and her lips lifted in a brief sardonic twist as acknowledgement.

Lindsey turned back to his task, making a Long Island Iced Tea for an already overly drunk Neb demon. He was acutely aware of Faith's every move, and his nerves tingled as he felt her approach, but he didn't look up until he was done with the drink. Raising his gaze slowly, he took in her appearance. She was out for the kill tonight. Black spiked heels, a black leather mini-skirt that ended a good five inches above her knees and therefore showed off long, tan legs, and a royal purple halter top that exposed her entire rock- hard stomach and abdomen. Her lush dark hair was spiraling down her back, curling wildly and out of control. Her eye makeup was dark and intense, making her look dangerous and sexy as hell. Lindsey struggled not to swallow audibly or widen his eyes.

"So you're going to sing tonight?" he asked conversationally, keeping his eyes on hers.

Faith smiled in amusement. "Get ready to scrape your jaw off the floor," she teased. She couldn't explain the light-hearted mood she was in tonight. To look at her, one would think she was out for blood. Really, though, she'd just wanted to look amazing. She'd wanted Lindsey to be so awed that he couldn't speak. Although she'd struggled to ignore the fluttery feelings in her stomach and the bubble of euphoria that had overwhelmed her every time she thought about seeing him tonight.

Giving him a sly once-over, Faith walked away, not having to look over her shoulder to know that he was entranced by the swaying of her hips. She spotted the Host talking to one of the other patrons and crossed over to him. He smiled when he saw her, but continued telling the demon he was with about his future.

When he was done and had shooed the sullen creature away, he turned to Faith with a dazzling smile. "Faith, my beautiful bird, I wasn't sure you'd come back tonight."

Faith smirked. "I said I would, didn't I?" she countered.

The Host nodded. "But that doesn't necessarily mean anything," he reminded her. "You could have wound up dead before you were supposed to be here."

Faith threw her head back and laughed, unaware of the fact that Lindsey's eyes had darted quickly to her to watch the raven hair curl down her back. She slung one leg over the abandoned chair and smiled at the Host. "So, are you going to read my fortune tonight or am I just entertaining?"

The Host smiled back. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, if you'll just save me from internal bleeding of the ears," he assured her.

Faith glanced over at Lindsey, whose gaze was still on her. Lowering her voice, she addressed the Host again. "You never told us what you saw when Lindsey sang last night."

The Host looked at her. "I told Lindsey. It's his business if he tells you or not, but I can't divulge futures. It's sort of like a lawyer's client/attorney privilege, ya know what I mean?"

Faith nodded, her lips turned down slightly in a pout. "Guess I'll just have to coerce the info I want out of him," she said slyly as she stood up. She tossed The Host a jaunty wave as she headed over to the stage and told the Karaoke master which song she wanted.

Faith hopped up the steps leading to the stage as the music came on. She waited through the musical introduction, then let her voice envelop the slow, hypnotizing words.

"With every form you come
You surprise me…
Hypnotize me…
With every breath I take
You're depriving, suffocating, choking

Now the time has come…
When I tell myself
There's nothing more I can take
Then you show me
Will it matter right now?
If I'm already numb
That's what you do to control me…
To control me…"

Lindsey blinked. Did Faith really feel that way about him? He'd sung his song to her, and she'd known it. Was she singing to him now? And really, Stereomud was an odd choice for her. Not that she couldn't sing it, because she was doing it, and well. But it didn't exactly fit her voice. Her voice was a huskier alto, and the song nearly screamed at some points. She was doing a damn good job of it, though.

"So much sadness from me
That's the way I feel
All the madness from me
That's what makes you real
I don't want your pain

With every cut you make
You expose me…
`Cause you know me…
With every bottle drink you can drown me
`Cause you found me out"

Lindsey winced. He made her feel vulnerable? He never would have guessed. He thought she was completely in control, and she knew it. He had no idea that he affected her so deeply. Through the lyrics, she was telling him that he had some kind of power over her. Lindsey was surprised at what that meant to him. He'd been in a position of power for years. Now, he had power when he least expected it, and he wasn't sure he wanted it. Not over her.

"Now the time has come…
When I tell myself
There's nothing more I can take
Then you show me
Will it matter right now?
If I'm already numb
That's what you do to control me…
To control me…

So much sadness from me
That's the way I feel
All the madness from me
That's what makes you real
I don't want your pain

With every form you take…
With every cut you make…
So much pain

So much sadness…
So much sadness…
Pain"

Lindsey sat back, dazed, as he watched Faith smile and walk down the stage steps. Contrary to the song that she'd just sung, she didn't look like she felt vulnerable or exposed. She looked almost… happy? Relieved? Was she excited about telling him that she felt connected to him in some way?

Or was he just an idiot for getting his hopes up that he meant more to her than just being a potential screw?

He watched hopefully as she strode over to him. Her eyes wandered over to The Host, then back to Lindsey, and The Host got the idea. He stood up from his table and made his way to the bar. He reached Lindsey at about the same time Faith did.

"Beautiful, doll-face, beautiful," The Host beamed. "Not exactly what I would have chosen for that throaty voice of yours, but it's still a welcome diversion from the talentless hacks I have to endure every night," he added mournfully.

Faith slid onto a barstool, idly watching Lindsey arrange a row of glasses. "So, what'd you see?" she asked warily.

The Host grinned, glancing from Faith to Lindsey. "I saw a stroller, a mini-van, and you in braids and checked print," he chuckled.

Faith gave him her deadliest glare. "Do not mess with me," she warned him.

The Host chuckled. "Really, you want to know the truth? I saw you in Sunnydale." At Faith's worried look, The Host nodded towards Lindsey. "With him. You're going back to help Buffy and the Sunnydale crew with a particularly nasty fallen goddess. And it's going to be tough. You're going to have to deal with everyone's resentment of everything you've done. No one is going to want your help, but they can't save the little one, Dawn, without it. Your being there is essential."

Faith blinked. "I haven't fought in so long," she offered quietly.

The Host smiled warmly. "Which is why Lindsey is going to be there. He's going to be your rock, the one you turn to when everyone else has shot you down. He's the one who's going to remind you why you're fighting, and why you can't give up."

Faith slowly raised her eyes to meet Lindsey's clear gaze. He knew already, she could see it in the open way he watched her. That was what The Host had told him last night after he sang. And he was accepting. He was willing to go, for her. He cared that much already.

She felt her shoulders slump. How could she go back to Sunnydale when everyone there hated her? They'd try and send her back to England, back to the Council, before she could even explain how she'd changed, how she was better now. Would Lindsey be enough to keep her strong? She hardly knew the guy. Was the feeling she got from him after singing with him, singing to him, was it enough to reassure her that he was going to be there for her?

Faith stood up shakily, still not able to process everything The Host had told her. It meant trusting. She wasn't sure that was something she could do right now. It was just too soon. She wasn't ready yet. She stumbled away from the bar, mumbling an apology to Lindsey and The Host for her behavior, then made her way to the door.

Lindsey didn't even ask this time, he just tore off his towel and took off after her. He caught up to her outside Caritas, staring sightlessly at the traffic that blazed by. He hesitantly held out a hand to her, and she blinked, refocusing. She looked down at his hand then up at his face questioningly.

"Faith, I know it has to be hard to accept what Lorne just said," Lindsey said quietly, an air of compassion evident in his voice. "But do you think you can trust me to do what he told you I will?"

Faith barked out a short, bitter laugh. "I don't have much of a choice, do I?" she asked.

Lindsey smiled. "You always have a choice."

Faith smirked. "Yeah, I could choose to keep my happy ass in L.A., and the world goes to hell in a handbasket because Buffy isn't Super Girl enough to save the world herself this time. Or I could choose to go, without you, and apparently have another mental breakdown that would leave me worse off than I was before. Or I could choose to go with you-." She looked away, unable to face him. "And risk falling in love. And I think that's what scares me more than anything else."

Lindsey bit back the chuckle that wanted to escape, knowing it would put Faith on the defensive if she thought he was laughing at her. "Would that be so bad?" he asked softly.

Faith nodded. "I've never felt a connection to anyone before, and I felt one with you when we were singing," she confessed. "I've never had to worry about anyone besides myself. I saw what it did to Buffy, she was sloppy because of being scared for Angel so many times. I can't handle that. I have to do things for me. I can't do them because someone else is depending on me to do them."

Lindsey shook his head. "Don't think about me depending on you. Think about me supporting you in everything you do."

Faith was suddenly suspicious. "Why are you doing this? You don't know me any better than I know you, yet you seem to be all happy about us booking it to the Dale together."

Lindsey shrugged. "I've learned to trust Lorne more than anybody else I've ever known. He's right about this, so there's no sense in denying it. Besides," he added, tentatively reaching out and entwining his fingers with hers, "I felt the same thing you did. When we were singing."

Faith looked down at their interlaced fingers, then up to Lindsey's serious expression. Without thinking, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Surprised, but encouraged, Lindsey increased the pressure. Neither one deepened it, they just enjoyed the sweetness of the intimacy of their lips touching the other's. It wasn't carnal or powerful, but it was inflaming.

When Lindsey broke the kiss, they stared at each other, their eyes wide. Slowly, Faith leaned her head down to rest it against Lindsey's chest, feeling his heart beat rapidly beneath his shirt. "I think we just took the first step?" she half-questioned.

Lindsey wrapped his arms around her. "The first of many," he promised.

Faith grinned. "Good, `cause it's a long walk to Sunnydale," she teased.

Lindsey laughed and tightened his hold on her. "But a short one to each other."

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