DestinyBy PSUBrat
Deuces Are Wild
Gunn and Xander sat together on the couch, heads lowered and engaged in quiet conversation while Anya and Fred discussed the merits of vengeance on the floor in front of them. Despite the fact that the two young men came from extremely different backgrounds, they had found something in common that they could discuss; demons and the supernatural. However, it wasn't demons and such that Xander was particularly interested in at the moment. He wanted to know what it was that happened between Angel and Wesley that pissed off the vampire so much, cause anything that made Angel angry had to be a good thing.
"Dude, you have no idea how ugly this thing is," Gunn replied when Xander asked him to explain the situation.
"Try me."
Gunn held up his hand and glanced around the room to see where Angel was, since the last thing he wanted to do was to piss off his boss. That's when he saw Angel and Buffy head towards the kitchen. The look on the Slayer's face made him cringe. She did not look like a happy camper at all. He sure didn't want to be in Angel's shoes. After the two had disappeared through the doorway, Gunn turned his attention back to Xander. "It's like this. Wes got a bogus prophecy that translated to, 'The father will kill the son'. He didn't know what to do. Instead of confiding in us, he went to Holtz."
"Who's Holtz?" Xander interrupted with a frown, silently relieved that they weren't the only ones that led soap opera lives.
"He was a vampire hunter from the past. Some time traveling demon named Sahjhan, had a beef against Angel and brought Holtz to this time. Angelus killed Holtz's wife and daughter and turned his baby into a vamp so I guess you could imagine how pissed off this guy could be. Anyway, Wes didn't know the prophecy was a phony and there were things that were happening with Angel that made Wes really suspicious. So Wes took Connor but was set up by Justine, Holtz' lackey. She slit Wes' throat and she and Holtz were gonna take Connor somewhere to raise as their own. Well, there was this big showdown with Angel, Wolfram and Hart, Sahjhan and Holtz. Sahjhan opened up this portal to hell and Holtz took Connor through it. Next thing we know, Connor's back and he's not a baby anymore and he hates Angel."
"Damn. That's a horrible story. Kinda feel bad for the big guy even though I don't like him much."
"Angel's an okay dude. I still have trust issues with him cause he's a vamp and all but I'd fight beside him anytime."
"Charles are you trying to say you still don't trust Angel?" Fred asked incredulously as she stopped her conversation with Anya.
"I'm just sayin' darlin', that I'm still waiting for the day that his soul disappears and Angelus to come out to play."
"Oh no. You don't want to see that. You never want to see that," Xander responded, shaking his head vehemently. "It's a bad, bad thing. See," he said pointing to his arm. "Gives me shivers just thinking about it. A word to the wise...if he ever turns into Angelus, run."
Gunn winced. He knew that Angelus was capable of horrible things, but seeing the look on Xander's face made him realize that Cordy had not been totally honest with them about what had happened the last time Angel had lost his soul. However, he was now damn certain that he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Angelus, ever. "So Anya, was Angel really as bad as doughboy says?"
"Oh, I don't know. I wasn't here when Angel lost his soul but it couldn't have been all that bad."
Gunn sighed and relaxed a little. Maybe Xander was just overreacting.
"Although this one time, back in Romania, I was doing a vengeance thing and I heard all about this master vampire that was just a really sick bastard. Apparently he made my capabilities look like child's play. After I met Buffy and everyone, I figured out that it had probably been Angelus, it was about the right timeframe."
"How do you do it?" Gunn asked, staring at the former vengeance demon in a mixture of awe and fear.
"Do what?" Anya inquired, tilting her head and giving Gunn a look of confusion.
"Talk about killing and maiming like it was no big deal. Doesn't it even bother you in the least that you used to do those things?"
"It was my job and I did it well. It's who I used to be. I can't change that so there's no use dwelling on it. Right Sweetie?"
"Uh, right hon," Xander replied, giving Gunn a shrug that said 'nothing I can do about it'.
Gunn looked at Fred and shook his head slowly. "And I thought we had a messed up group."
***
As much as she didn't want to do interrupt the quality bonding session that was occurring between father and son at the moment, she wanted to speak to Angel. Privately. They hadn't finished their talk from earlier and she wanted to make sure that he was perfectly clear about where he stood in her life. She was concerned that if it hadn't been for the Last Judgment or for her relationship with Spike, Angel would still be in Los Angeles not giving her, or Sunnydale, a second thought. Their lives would have continued on separate paths, much as they had over the last two and a half years. She was positive that Fate had brought them back together, but she was certain it wasn't to reunite. Hesitantly, she approached him and asked if she could see him in the kitchen for a few minutes. After he excused himself from Connor, he followed her through the door.
"What's up Buffy?" He asked as he watched her stand in front of the sink staring out the window.
Taking a deep breath, she slowly turned around to face him. She had purposely put enough distance, and a kitchen island, between the two of them so that he couldn't try anything again. She didn't think he would after what she had to say to him but she just wanted to make sure, not so much for her sake but for his. If Spike were to walk in on Angel doing something to her again, she doubted if he'd be much of a gentleman this time. "I just wanted to make sure that you understand how I feel about you, about us."
He smiled at her and shook his head. "I understand completely."
"Good. I'm glad..."
"I understand that you're in love with me and that this thing with Spike will eventually fail."
She was shocked. "Are you serious?"
"Actually, no," he stated, his tone becoming serious as a sadness passed over his features. "I understand that you and Spike care about each other. I don't know how or why and I really don't want the details. I just have one question."
"And that is?"
"Why?"
She folded her arms across her chest and leaned her back against the kitchen sink for support. After everything the two of them had been through together, she felt that she owed him that much. "Angel, I can't even begin to answer that question because I really don't know the answer myself. All I know is that I love him. He's there for me. He loves me and he loves Dawn. He's never once asked me to be someone I'm not and he's never given up on me." She shrugged. "He's my everything."
"I used to be your everything," he whispered, his shoulders slumping as the words sunk in. "I guess I just figured that in the end, you and I would always find our way back to one another."
"Angel, I'm sorry. I used to believe that too but now I know...I know that Spike is my soul mate. We share something that I can't even begin to explain to you. Although, I suspect you might already understand."
He looked over at her, his eyes searching hers for the answer that he already knew. "Cordelia."
She nodded. As she was about to say a few comforting words to him, a scream from upstairs pierced the air. "Willow!"
***
Everyone heard Willow's scream as it echoed through the house. Buffy ran from the kitchen and into the dining room, nearly knocking over Giles and William as she raced for the stairs. Bounding up the steps two at a time, it took her only seconds to reach the witch's bedroom. She threw the door open, half expecting to find something horrific on the other side but hoping that it was nothing other than a bad dream that had caused the screaming. She heard sobbing coming from the bed but couldn't see anything right away because of the darkness. As her eyes quickly adjusted, she saw Tara sitting up and slowly rocking a very shaken Willow.
"We had our vision," Tara explained as she caught sight of Buffy standing in the doorway.
Buffy walked over to her crying friend and sat on the edge of the bed. "Willow, it's going to be okay. We're going to defeat him."
"Buffy is right," Giles stated from the doorway. "We're going to win."
Willow snuffled. Pleadingly, she looked into Buffy's eyes. "Promise?"
"I promise you," Buffy stated emphatically. "Now try to get some more sleep, okay?" Buffy helped Tara cover Willow as the witch nodded in compliance. "Good night," she whispered as she slipped out of the room and closed the door. She met up with the three watchers in the hallway.
"I just tucked Dawn back into bed," William stated as Buffy joined them.
"She okay?" Buffy asked with concern.
"She's fine. Just scared out of her mind at first is all."
"Yeah, I think we all were," Buffy replied. She noticed that her bedroom door was open. "I take it Willow woke Cordelia as well?"
"Yes," Giles responded, stifling a yawn. "She's gone down to join the others in the living room. I suggest that you and William try to get some rest now."
"Giles I think you should take my room. William and I will sleep down in the basement on the cots."
"No need for that Buffy..."
"I won't take no for an answer."
"Very well," the older watcher said as he staggered into the Slayer's bedroom. "However, before I retire, I do have one question. Were Willow and Tara just called together?"
"Seems like it," Buffy said nodding her head. "Tara said they had just shared the same vision."
Giles sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Very well then. You two will explain to the others who is who then?" He asked looking at Wesley and William. Both men nodded their answer. "Goodnight."
William looked at Wesley and began to chuckle as Giles growled and slammed the door shut.
"Someone mind telling me what that was all about?" Buffy demanded as she watched Wesley turn about three shades of red.
"Sure pet. Seems that since Willow and Tara have just been paired, it means that these two blokes are now a couple."
At first Buffy wasn't quite sure what William was getting at with his explanation but then something clicked inside her brain and she began to giggle. "So you and Giles are paired together, huh? Is there something you want to tell us Wesley?"
"I will not even dignify that with a reply," he huffed at the two laughing figures in front of him. "I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation as to why Giles and I have been paired."
"I'm sure there is mate," William agreed while still trying to contain his laughter.
Wesley glared at the man before him. "I hope that you throw this much enthusiasm into finding a way to kill the Master. Shall we?" He asked as he stepped aside from the landing and extended his arm downwards in a sweeping gesture.
William gave Buffy a wink and then pretended to straighten a non-existing tie as he cleared his throat. "We shall," he stated, slowly descending the steps. About halfway down, he turned around to face Wesley with a smirk. "Don't you think Rupert could get a mite bit jealous with all the time you and I will be spending together doing research."
"Remind me to kill you after the Last Judgment is over," Wesley stated dryly, glaring at the man that had once been a vampire.
***
It was now Cordelia's turn to sit out back on the bench and contemplate the stars. She had tried to sleep but had been unsuccessful in her attempts, Willow's scream had only given her an excuse to get up and leave Buffy's room for the freedom of the outdoors. She sat quietly on the bench, her back to the house, tears streaming down her face as she felt the echo of what had occurred at this particular spot earlier in the evening. She chided herself for always knowing that he would do this, that he would return to the woman he loved most but she had talked herself into believing that he loved her first and foremost. Her shoulders slumped as she let her anguish wash through her, the sobs coming and going but always silent. She felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest.
"Cordelia?" A man's voice asked from behind. "What's wrong?"
Quickly, she tried to compose herself. She didn't want him to see her like this, didn't want him to have the satisfaction. "Angel," she said trying to mask her shaking voice. "What brings you out here? Again."
He walked around to stand in front her. Fred had told him that she had seen Cordelia run out of the house looking upset after Willow had screamed. This had worried him so he had followed her, remaining distant enough to watch so as to give her some privacy. However, it had been her sobs that had brought him to her side. Had she had a vision? Usually she shared her visions, even the ugly ones, but he was concerned that she'd had another one and that it hadn't been good. He paused for a moment when he saw her tear streaked face. "Cordy? What's wrong?" He inquired, kneeling before her and taking her hands in his.
She looked away from him before she answered. "Nothing. I'm fine."
"You don't look fine and you certainly don't sound fine." He frowned when she didn't answer. He tried to look into her eyes but she refused to meet his gaze. "What's bothering you?"
"Why should you care?" She demanded angrily as she pulled her hands away from him.
He frowned again, not knowing what to do. He hated seeing her in so much obvious pain. "Cordy..."
"Please leave me alone. Go back inside to your precious little Buffy."
Stunned, he sat down on the bench next to her. "How did you...?"
"How did I know? You're kidding, right? Hello. Higher being here. Duh."
Taking an unneeded deep breath, he reached out to touch her cheek, but she violently pulled away from him. Her actions stunned and hurt him. A knot began to form in the pit of his stomach. "I'm sorry Cordy. I never meant to hurt you."
"But you did, Angel. More than you'll ever realize."
"I'm sorry Cordy. I didn't mean to do this. I can't help that I love Buffy. I'm sorry."
"I know you love Buffy and I know a part of you always will. I've always accepted that but what about me? Don't you love me at all? Even a little bit?"
He loved her more than he ever thought he could possibly love someone who wasn't Buffy. She had been everything to him these last few months. Not only had she been his friend, but she had also been his lover. The one person that he knew he could confide in no matter what and the one person that accepted him for who he was and loved him despite it. The knot in his stomach began to grow tighter as he began to realize that he couldn't imagine his life without her.
She looked down at her hands that were now resting awkwardly in her lap. She felt like she was totally exposed, sitting next to him like this, waiting for a response she knew would never come. A warm, gentle breeze blew by her but it felt as if an artic wind had chilled her to the bone. She wondered if she would ever again feel warm. Tired of waiting for his reply, she looked over at him.
He watched as her endless brown eyes frantically searched his face for an answer, an explanation, anything that would give her the slightest hint as to what was going on inside his head. He wanted to give her something to cling to, but he didn't want to lead her on. Confusion began to take over his thoughts. He lowered his eyes and ran his finger back and forth for several moments, outlining the wrinkles on his pants. "I do love you," he whispered as he raised his eyes to meet hers. It was then that he realized she hadn't heard him. She was already gone.