More Crumpets?By Aristotle Freud
Princess“Xander,” Anya whispered angrily as the smell of cookies drifted under her nose, “put down the magic recording box and let me go get some cookies.”
“It’s called a video camera, An,” Xander replied, “and I don’t want to miss out on whatever ‘Momma Spike’ does next.” Buffy and Dawn finally got a hold of themselves and stood up, somewhat more composed.
Spike put the cookies on a plate, wiped his hands on his apron, and carefully took it off. “Who wants to play the Princess game?” he asked.
“Me, me, me!” he said in a high pitched voice for the Koala.
“I do too,” he said for the penguin. “Spike, you’re the best at playing the princess game. If I was the slayer I would want to be your princess.”
“Why thank you, Percy,” Spike replied. Spike stood up really straight and threw his head back.
“I am a pretty Princess,” he said cockily, his accent becoming slightly more pronounced.
Xander almost swallowed his tongue. Did Spike just say that?
“Oh, you are a pretty Princess,” Spike said to himself in his Koala bear voice. “A pretty, pretty Princess. I just love your hair. How do you get it so very pure and white, Princess Spike?”
“Well, Kammie Koala,” Spike replied, “I use magical peroxide that makes my hair the right amounts of shiny and blonde. Oh, I am a pretty Princess.” Spike dug around in a sack he had sitting next to the stove and came out with a hot pink tiara, which he promptly placed on his head.
“You are so cool, Princess Spike,” Spike made Percy the Penguin say. “You should be a slayer magnet with your extreme degree of coolness and Big Badness, and you make such a pretty Princess.”
Even Xander had to admit that Spike made a very pretty Princess.
“All hail Princess Spike,” Spike chorused for the stuffed animals. He made them bow down to him. “The most wonderful vampire ever.”