More Crumpets?By Aristotle Freud
Makeovers“You don’t need that slayer, Princess Spike,” the vamp made the Koala say in an even higher pitched voice. “She doesn’t appreciate you for the bea-u-ti-ful Princess/manly man you are!”
“You know, I think you’re right, Kammie Koala,” Spike said thoughtfully. “You know what I think would cheer us all up?”
“What?” Spike made them both ask, one at a time.
“Makeovers,” Spike said. He ran over to the side of the crypt and opened up a trap door. From amid sparkly purple feather boas and Power Puff Girl paraphernalia, Spike took out a hot pink caboodle, with the words ‘Spikey’s Makeup’ written on the side in white paint pen.
“Oh boy. I bet this eyeshadow would bring out the color of your eyes,” the penguin commented.
Spike gave the room a very humble look. “Well,” he said, “I am an expert on makeovers. They don’t make you the winner of the Undead Beauty Pageant for nothing. I killed them in the swimsuit competition.”
“Of course you did!” the stuffed animals chorused.
“You go first,” Spike said to the penguin. He took out some purple eyeliner and messily applied it the stuffed animal’s face.
After both stuffed animals were sufficiently decked out in hideously bright makeup, Spike finally took his turn. Unfortunately for Xander, he turned his face away from the camera as he judiciously applied the makeup to his face.
“Darn it,” Xander said. “First I have to deal with this crappy crypt lighting, and now when he’s finally putting on the makeup, he turns away from the camera.”
“Cameras can do many interesting things,” Anya commented suggestively.
“A world of ew,” Dawn said.
Buffy shushed her as Spike turned around. All of the Scoobies lost their breath looking at the sight before them.
Spike had bright blue eyeshadow applied up to his eyebrows, and bubblegum colored lipstick was messily applied to his normally red lips. He’d added some color to his cheeks.
“What stunning cheek bones you have, oh wonderful Spike,” Spike said in the high-pitched voice he used for the koala.
“Why thank you, Kammie Koala,” he said, “I do pride myself on my chiseled features.”
Spike took something else out of the caboodle, and all of the Scoobies leaned forward in anticipation.
He stuck the fluffy pink bow in his hair, adjusting the tiara so that he could wear them both. Spike struck a pose, tilting his hips to the left and throwing his hands in the air.
“Ta-da!” he announced.
“Oh Spike, I did not think it was possible, but you’re an even prettier princess than before,” Spike made the penguin say.
Spike looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I do believe I am. Now who wants to play mermaids?”
“You make the very best Arielle,” the koala said. Spike absolutely preened.
“You always get to be Arielle,” a voice complained from near the sewer entrance to the crypt.
“Angel,” Spike said, “what can I say? Something about you just says ‘Flounder’ to me.”
Angel brooded for a moment and then saw the makeup. “Makeup?! Yay.”
“Oh Bloody Poof,” Spike made the Koala say, “you are not half the Princess Momma Spike is.”
Angel took a stuffed cat out of his Care Bears backpack. “I don’t know,” he made the cat say in a squeaky voice, “I think Angel is a very fetching princess.”
In his hiding spot, Xander Harris fell to his knees, thanking the powers of the Universe for sending him the miracle he was watching.