Takes One To Know One
Dawn peered through the peep hole in the front door. Xander and Andrew were seated side by side on the front step, their arms wrapped around each other, kissing enthusiastically. Dawn giggled, and glancing around to make sure no one else was watching, she quietly opened the door and stepped outside. She crossed her arms over her chest and casually leaned back against the door frame. The two men were thoroughly engrossed in their passionate embrace and remained oblivious to their observer. Dawn's *aw* face dissolved as Xander ran his hand up Andrew's thigh to his groin and began stroking fervently. Andrew tilted his head to the side, his eyes closed in pleasure, and Xander ducked to suck noisily at his exposed neck. Dawn grimaced, and cleared her throat. Exciting no response, she put her hands on her hips and cleared her throat again, upping the volume considerably. Andrew's eyes shot open wide, and he stared back at Dawn, clearly mortified. Xander remained distracted, and lifted his head slightly to nip at Andrew's earlobe. Andrew laughed nervously, and patted Xander on the shoulder. Reluctantly, Xander let go of Andrew's earlobe and looked up at him dreamily, "Yeesss?" he drawled. Andrew raised his eyebrows, and glanced meaningfully over Xander's shoulder. "What?" Xander asked, confused. Andrew rolled his eyes, and pointed to Dawn, who was still leaning against the door, trying her best not to laugh out loud. Xander glanced over his shoulder at Dawn, "Oh, hi, Dawnie," he said happily, shuffling back away from the other man a bit. Dawn looked down to where Xander's hand was still settled between Andrew's legs, and raised an eyebrow.Xander quickly withdrew his hand, inciting a furious pout from Andrew. Xander opened his eyes widely, and glanced back at Dawn pointedly. Andrew sighed in defeat. Dawn smiled sweetly, "So it must have been a long marathon, huh?" she asked.
Xander looked back at her, not comprehending, "Marathon?" he asked.
Dawn's smile widened, "The *Star Trek* marathon?" she prompted, "Did it go all night? I mean, is that why you're so late getting Andrew home?"
"Oh..." Xander blushed, "Right, well, we didn't really get to see much of the marathon..."
Dawn raised her eyebrows, "No?" she asked, "How come?"
Xander's blush deepened, and Andrew looked away uncomfortably. "Well, the power went out so we couldn't watch T.V." Xander offered.
Dawn looked at him expectantly, "Uh-huh?"
Xander fidgeted, "And then we thought it would be safer if Andrew stayed the night... Buffy-," Xander paused, and frowned, "Buffy came by to check on us, didn't she explain...?"
Dawn smiled wickedly, and admitted, "Yeah, she did... I just wanted to see you squirm." Xander gave her a congratulatory nod, and got to his feet, pulling Andrew up beside him. "Come on inside," Dawn beckoned, "I was just heading to school. Xander, you can drop me off!" She hurried into the house, and ran up the stairs before Xander could argue.
Xander looked at Andrew questioningly, "I should probably take her... I need to go to work anyway..." He ran his hand up Andrew's arm and squeezed his shoulder gently, "Will you be okay if I leave you here for a while?"
Andrew looked up at Xander apprehensively, but then took a deep breath and nodded, "I'll be okay," he said, "as long... as long as you come back."
Xander stooped and kissed Andrew lightly on the lips, "I couldn't stay away if I wanted to," he said earnestly. Andrew smiled shyly, and Xander nudged into him playfully with his elbow, "Be good?" he said, and then smiled coyly, "...At least until I get back."
Andrew giggled, and just as he was reaching up to steal another kiss, Dawn came barreling down the stairs, and dragged Xander out the door by the arm, "Come on!" she pleaded, "We're gonna be late!"
After waving happily after the car as Xander and Dawn drove away, Andrew closed the door and headed into the front room. Hoping to pass his Xander-less time with some television, Andrew sat down heavily on the couch. He was about to flick on the TV when Anya walked into the room. She sat down on the couch next to Andrew, and eyed him suspiciously. Andrew smiled at her nervously and then they both looked away. There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "Well?" Anya finally demanded, turning around to face Andrew again, "Aren't you going to apologize?"
Andrew furrowed his brow in confusion, "I'm sorry?" he offered.
Anya scoffed, "You don't even know what you're apologizing for, do you?" she asked huffily.
Andrew squinted, apparently in concentration, "...For stealing Xander away from you?" he guessed.
"No!" Anya cried, her brows knit in resolutely, "Try again," she demanded.
Andrew pondered silently for a moment, drumming his fingers on his knees, "Oh!" he exclaimed triumphantly, "For calling you Tribble annoying?" The enthusiastic look vanished from Andrew's face, and was replaced by a frown, "I'm not apologizing for that," he whined, "You *are* Tribble annoying."
"I am not!" Anya shot back angrily.
"You don't even know what a Tribble *is*!" Andrew countered.
Anya scoffed, "I do so," she retorted. Andrew raised his eyebrows and looked at her expectantly. Anya nodded, "It's something completely irrelevant that only a big stupid Star Wars geek would make a reference to." They scowled at each other. "It's not that, anyway," Anya declared. "You were closer with the *stealing* Xander away from me guess- which you *didn't*, by the way." Anya frowned off into space, "He left all by himself, thanks to my non-existent penis." Anya sighed and looked back to Andrew, "Guess again," she demanded.
"Why do I have to keep guessing?" Andrew whined, "Can't you just tell me?"
"No," Anya said, amusedly, "This is more fun."
Andrew pouted, "Because I spilled apple juice on your coat?" he guessed.
Anya gasped, "That was *you*?"
"Um..." Andrew fidgeted, "No?"
Anya narrowed her eyes and glared at him, "You used something of mine that you shouldn't have...?" she hinted.
"I just tried them on!" Andrew whispered insistently, "They were so pretty- and it's not like I ran around the block in them," he crossed his arms over his chest sulkily, "I *only* tried them on."
Anya looked at Andrew, perplexed, "Why on Earth would you run around the block wearing a pair of handcuffs?" she queried.
"Oh!" Andrew exclaimed, "The *handcuffs*!"
Anya frowned, "Yes the handcuffs," she confirmed irritably, and then cocked her head to the side, "What did you think I was talking about?"
Andrew wrinkled his nose, "Can we just pretend that I was talking about the handcuffs too?" he pleaded wretchedly.
"Fine," she said. There was another awkward silence, ending finally in Anya exhaling dramatically, "It's not *fair*," she pouted.
Andrew cocked his head to the side, "Aw," he said sympathetically, "You must have really loved those handcuffs."
Anya glared at him, "I'm not talking about the *handcuffs* you... *boob*." Andrew wrinkled his nose. "I'm talking about you and Xander," Anya continued.
"Um," Andrew asked hesitantly, furrowing his brow in confusion, "What's not fair about that?"
Anya settled back into the couch, sulking, "He's happy," she grumbled.
"And that's... not fair?" Andrew asked confusedly.
"No," Anya retorted, "*That's* wonderful." She frowned, "It's not fair that he's happy because of *you*."
"I'm sorry," Andrew offered.
Anya sighed, and gave Andrew a small, but sincere smile, "Just... promise you'll be good to him, okay?" Andrew nodded emphatically. Anya's smile widened, "Because if I ever find out you've hurt him, I'll- I'll..." Anya pursed her lips thoughtfully for a moment, and then smiled grimly, inspiration having apparently struck, "I'll send you to an alternate universe where there's no Star Wars."
Andrew stared at her, open-mouthed and in shock for a moment, and then his expression softened. "I'm sorry I said you were Tribble-annoying," he offered quietly.
Anya tilted her head to the side, and clasped her hands over her heart, "Oh, Andrew," she said earnestly, "Do you really mean that?"
"For sure," Andrew said, nodding his head enthusiastically.
Anya smiled at Andrew sweetly for a moment, and then frowned. "But you still owe me a pair of handcuffs," she reminded him.
Andrew crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, "I've changed my mind," he grumbled, "You *are* Tribble-annoying."
Anya frowned at him, "Takes one to know one," she retorted. Andrew pouted, and Anya nodded, smiling triumphantly.