The Whimsical Notions Of A Desolate VampireBy Buddy
Xander couldn’t help the shakes that had started in the well of his stomach they travelled slowly upwards and outwards until they took a pit stop in his hands and made them tremble. The pacing wasn’t helping a whole lot, especially as it meant repeatedly crossing the pentagram on the lobby floor. He was sure he must have invoked at least one hellbeast by now, but it was better than sitting on all that pent up energy, and although the silence was unusual for him he didn’t know what else to say.
No one besides him seemed to think it should be ‘guns a blazing, bring in the Calvary time‘. He knew he was alarming Fred, and Gunn was constantly eyeing him like he thought he’d either taken a trip to the funny farm or was about to explode. Groo didn’t say much, but Xander thought he probably didn’t miss a whole lot that way; it was surprising what you could pick up from people if you actually listened.
Finally he couldn’t even cope with Cordelia’s platitudes.
“He’s been gone since 11 o’clock this morning and you don’t think it’s weird?” He burst out.
Gunn looked at him, evidently relieved that he was at least saying something now.
“It’s only just after three. Chill out dude, it’s not like Angel isn’t capable of looking out for himself. In fact he’s managed for almost 250 years, without you worrying about him. He’ll be ok and he has his cell phone.”
”No he doesn’t, “ said Cordelia, picking it up from the desk in his office and waving it around like it was exhibit ‘A’.
Xander stopped pacing long enough to glare at Fred, who was unfortunately in his line of fire although not the real target for his ire.
“If you want to go look for him, ah’ll come with ya.” She turned and looked uncertainly at Gunn and Cordelia, then turned back and beamed a brilliant smile into Xander’s tension filled face.
“At last, action! Rescuing type of action. Let’s go Fred.” Cordelia put her hand on his arm to stop him.
“Xander, if Angel was seriously in any danger, don’t you think I would know? I’m his link to the Powers remember?”
“Fine, you wait here for a vision and we’ll go help Angel.”
“What makes you so sure …?”
“What? That something’s very wrong? I seem to have grown this invisible antenna where Angel’s concerned and I know that something isn’t right. Fred and me can hit the tunnels, is there any where else you three could go and look?”
Gunn bristled.
“Who died and made you Boss?”
“Hey, I‘m not trying to be the Boss of anyone, but Angel‘s missing and we should do something to find him. If you have a problem with that and don’t want to help me that’s fine, but I’m going. Ready Fred?”
“Ah’m ready.”
Fred threw Gunn and Cordelia a look that melted Xander’s heart. Her features bled away and were replaced by Willow’s for a moment, determination and outrage on her face because no one else was prepared to help her and Xander rescue Buffy when Spike and Drusilla were trying to resurrect the judge. He liked her already; she was his kind of people.
“Why don’t the three of you go to the address where Angel was supposed to meet with the Grengosh, just in case he never made it out?” She said.
Cordelia started to feel some of the same urgency that was nestling in the pit of Xander’s belly. It wouldn’t hurt to check; apart from if the Grengosh captured any of them and decided they would make a great host.
“Ok, we’ll take our cells with us, call if you find him first. Xander you’ll need a weapon.”
“Weapon’s are good, I don’t suppose you have a Slayer handy do you?”
“Sorry, and happily, ours is still in jail.”
He walked over to the weapons cabinet and opened the doors. He’d never seen anything like it. Neither Buffy nor Giles’ collection was this impressive.
“I have no idea what to take, or what I could even carry from this lot. What do you recommend?”
“Perhaps it would be better if I came with you?” Groo said to Xander.
“I‘m thinking safety in numbers where those guys are concerned, you should go with Cordy and Gunn. I’m thinking more along the lines of a sword, one that I can actually lift that is.”
“Anything that slices and dices will do just fine. Make sure you take care of my girl.”
Xander looked Gunn in the eye.
“I will.”
~*~
Angel heard footsteps and looked back to see who or what was behind him. He couldn‘t see anything there, but he knew they weren’t far behind him and he stopped and waited. A few minutes later they came into view, Grengosh demons, two of them. They looked pissed. He sighed, so close to home. They roared before they charged and Angel barely had time to put the orbs down before both demons were upon him.
The tallest one engaged Angel in combat while the other one tried to get past him to the orbs. Angel swung out his fist and heard bone crunch when it connected with the demon’s snout. Blood gushed from its shattered nostrils and it stumbled back a few paces before ducking under the arm that Angel let fly on the follow through. He just had time to thump the other demon upside the head before sticking his foot out and tripping up number one.
He reached down and twisted it’s head until he heard the familiar snap and then turned in snarling vamp face to the one remaining, He punched and kicked it alternately, raining blows down on it’s head, stomach and chest. He was like a killing machine, a whirr of fists and feet, until he felt the blade pierce the space between his ribs, and the sickening pull on flesh as the blade was sliced upwards towards his heart.
He was aware that someone was screaming and he could smell blood, but all he could think about as his consciousness threatened to slip was that if he died he wouldn’t see Connor again. Or Xander. He shook his head to stay focused and realised his chest was wet and getting wetter. Still he reached down and pulled the blade from his chest with a roar and plunged it into the throat of his would be assassin, taking satisfaction from it’s strangled gurgle of surprise before he fell to his knees. It fell backwards and didn’t move again. Whom should he thank because it was steel and not wood that had pierced his heart?
He called out to Xander in his head, wishing for the first time, in long a time, that he had someone nearby who could recognise the Sire/Childe bond. He giggled helplessly; he’d settle for a telepathic friend. The world started to grey before his eyes again and he fell to his side with a thud. At least the orbs were safe … now he just needed to get them back …
~*~
The tunnels were less archaic than the ones in Sunnydale, they didn’t house buried churches and they looked much more shiny and man made, but Xander wrinkled his nose at the familiar stench of shit and death. Fred chattered from the moment they left the hotel and Xander wondered if she was always like this or only when she was nervous.
“What you said back there about invisible antenna, it’s not as weird as you might think. Some people can actually see the connection between people in love, on the astral plane, or on the etheric level. I don’t see auras myself, but I’ve seen a Kirlan photograph. It shows the energy field that surrounds things, people in love have strands of energy connecting one to the other.”
The animation on Xander’s face froze for a few seconds, but he managed to recover quickly and shake off the effect of her words. There was that word again. Love? He couldn’t afford to love. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.
“It’s just living on the Hellmouth my whole life. I can spot danger at thirty paces.”
“Oh, …it must be that then. Have you any idea where he might be?”
“No but the tunnels are our best shot, sunset isn’t until around 8.30.”
“What if he didn’t make it back to the tunnels?”
“Fred I thought you were on my side! We’re staying happy and positive, and soon enough we’ll find Angel, pissed off and maybe hurt but ‘alive’ and … you know what I mean.”
Xander felt a little better now they were looking, but he couldn’t quell the panicky feeling entirely; he felt like there was a snake coiled in the pit of his gut, ready at any time to uncoil and start biting. Maybe Angel was already back at the hotel and he was just being even crazier. But he didn’t think so. He didn’t feel so. He tested his sword for heft again and hoped he wouldn’t need to use it.
“Right, positive, happy thoughts.”
They walked in silence for a while and then Xander’s curiosity got the better of his anxiety.
“What was Angel like with Connor?”
Fred smiled softly. “He was just like any other doting father, which was just as well since everybody pretty much wanted to either kill Connor or kidnap him at some point. I thought it would bring Angel and Cordelia together finally, they made great parents. But then Groo came from Pylea in search of Cordelia, and well, I guess I was wrong.”
Xander’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Woah, back up there Fred. Angel and Cordelia?”
“You’re surprised by that? Imagine how we all feel now.”
Xander smiled at her sheepishly. “Ok, point taken.”
They stopped as the tunnel divided into two directions and Xander looked uncertainly at Fred.
“Which way?”
“Oh that’s easy, the left tunnel takes you towards the heart of the City and the right one takes you to the outskirts of town. The Grengosh are generally affluent demons but marginalized in human society because of their traditions.”
“Yeah well, given what their traditions are, I can’t say I’d be willing to go on a protest march for them.”
“We need to go right, it leads to the sea eventually, but we turn off before then.”
Xander looked at her with empathy born from hours spent researching more nasties than a kid could have nightmares about, or imagine hiding under their bed. He gave her a weary smile.
“Ah, another guest from the research party.”
“Well since Wesley … I guess we all have to put in more time with the books now.”
“Why did Wesley betray Angel that way? Couldn’t he have at least talked to one of you? All of you, even Angel?”
“He did what he thought was right.” Fred hung her head and began to walk determinedly through the right tunnel. “Either that or he didn’t trust any of us any more.”
Xander touched Fred’s arm in a comforting gesture.
“He never was very good with the trust or the listenin’. Back in Sunnydale we had to face an apocalypse before he even started to warm towards the way we did things, and even then I think it was because he felt such a fool for not listening to Buffy and Giles in the first place. Then he had all those Slayer issues to deal with, I mean have you met Faith?”
Fred bit her bottom lip and blinked at tears.
“You don’t understand we were a family. He was brave and courageous when they rescued me from Pylea. He did trust us, and we trusted him. Angel trusted him.”
“There’s no way back?”
Fred barked out a hysterical laugh. “Didn’t you hear? Angel tried to kill him.”
They walked in silence again for about 200 metres and then the scent of spilled blood assaulted their nostrils. They rounded a bend and Xander could see a huddle not far from them. There were two bodies besides Angel, both hopefully dead, though he was pretty sure the one with the knife sticking from it’s throat was a given.
He sprinted ahead and knelt at Angel’s head. He was out cold and his normal deathly pallor was even paler against the dried blood on his brow. Fred gasped when she saw the blood spill down the front of his shirt.
“Angel?” Xander said urgently, stroking his face, fear mounting in his chest and panic once more threatening to go into orbit.
Angel stirred at the warmth on his skin.
“Xander?”
“Oh god what happened?” Xander put his sword down and helped him into a sitting position and Angel grimaced.
Fred tried to move his shirt so she could see the damage better but it was stuck to him so she thought better of it. “Xander knew you were in danger. It‘s a good thing he did, who knows what else coulda happened to you.”
“The orbs, the Grengosh came after me. They took the orbs.” Xander’s face swam in front him and he was taken aback by the anguished look there; for some reason Xander wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“I don’t think so,” Xander helped him to stand, his arm around his waist. “Unless there were more of them than the two that are dead over there.” He passed the sword to Angel. “You’d better hold this buddy, it looks too expensive to leave behind.”
Angel winced at the burn that was radiating from his heart, but he could tell the wound was already on the mend from the deep itch that accompanied it. Fred pounced on something with a squeak of triumph.
“They’re still here look.”
She held the orbs in her hands. They all looked at them in relieved wonder. There were ten of them, each one the size of a duck egg; they were black, transparent and incredibly beautiful. They were multi-faceted and held inside them what looked to Xander like some kind of carving and he could feel the energy the radiating from them.
“They’re kinda gorgeous until you remember what’s in them, how the heck do you imbue crystal with sperm anyway? At least we don’t have to eat them or anything equally barf-worthy. Come on Angel, let’s get you back to the hotel.” They started walking, Angel slowly at first and Xander on shaky legs; he was so relieved to find him in one piece he almost wept. “What are your injuries exactly?”
Angel leaned heavily on Xander and couldn’t recall live skin feeling so familiar. He thought it was a ridiculous notion and almost giggled out loud again at his own absurdity; it must be the blood loss.
“I was stabbed through the heart, of course it shouldn’t kill me but I need to replace the blood soon or it won’t heal.”
“What happened to the simple exchange of cash for goods, it’s worked for centuries, why try to change it now?”
Xander finally met Angel’s gaze with an intensity that belied his jovial words and Angel tried hard to decipher the emotions that he was pouring into him. In his weakened state he thought he might collapse under the weight of it until his befuddled brain recognised that they were mostly tied up with relief. He swallowed hard so he could speak again.
“The cash wasn’t the problem, the Grengosh demon just got greedy and wanted a bigger profit margin.”
“So it wanted a few more dollars …”
“It didn’t want more money Xander, it wanted you.” Xander felt his face pinch in shock.
“What?”
“It could smell you on me.”
Despite the implications of that statement Xander felt his cock twitch, remembering the reasons his scent was on Angel. He risked a look at Fred and she looked at him goggled eyed for a moment before looking away. He wondered what she would do if he leaned over and kissed Angel now. He wanted to crush him to him with relief but it was his injuries as much as Fred preventing that.
“It didn’t want to take no for an answer so I ended up having to kill it. Those two followed me to avenge its death and claim back the orbs,” he paused for a moment. “How did you know I was in danger?” Angel’s look was penetrating and Xander felt his cheeks tinge with a warm blush.
“I don’t know how, I just did. We’d better ring Cordy, the others have gone to see if they could find you above ground.” They stopped, Xander still supporting Angel’s weight and Fred cradling the orbs to her carefully.
Xander fished Fred’s phone out of her back pocket and pressed speed dial for Cordy’s phone, she picked up after two rings.
“Did you find him?”
“We found him Cordy, we’re on our way back to the hotel now, we’ll meet you there, he’s hurt and he’s lost a lot of blood but he’s gonna be alright.”
“Thank god! We’ll meet you back there, I’m not sorry I don’t have to visit ‘Mr and Mrs you’ll be our incubator for this year Ms Chase!”
“Huh?”
“It’s a long story, we’ll see you back at the hotel.”
~*~
Cordelia dressed Angel’s wounds as he sipped at his third mug of blood. Xander was mesmerised by her fingers, touching him, administering to him, and he wondered why Angel had let her go so easily. She seemed to care about Groo a lot but there was no … passion. Maybe they both kept it all for behind closed doors, but he knew that would never be good enough for him, which was why he felt so frustrated now.
Cordelia did a good patch up job, but Xander wanted to do it, he didn’t want anyone else’s hands on Angel. He turned away from them and looked straight into Groo’s seesawing emotions. He flicked his eyes at Xander once and then looked away. Oh yeah, jealousy all round then.
Angel watched the uncertainty on Xander’s face as he hovered, not quite having the courage to lay claims on him in front of the others now that anger had left him. Yet a feeling of possession radiated from him regardless and Angel wished he would just take control and do whatever it was he wanted to do.
How had he known he was in trouble? Had he heard his cry for help? He wondered if it was different to the voice that Spike would have heard if he’d called him instead. He could almost hear Spike’s mockery, his derision the only link to the relationship they had once had. He didn’t care; he’d deal with it.
“So you’re telling me that Spike can maybe get a Hineaon Cauldron but he wants to come with us? Why does that sound like a really bad idea?”
Xander looked up sharply at the tone of Angel’s voice and he didn’t like it. It sounded complicated and not just like Angel hated Spike for trying to kill him and Buffy countless times.
“I told him you wouldn’t buy that idea, but I think we need him. He fights well and we’re gonna need all the strength and fighting skill we can get our hands on. This place doesn‘t sound a whole lot like Disney World, and you‘re gonna be faced with a mighty pissed of vampire hunter as well as the indigenous population. ”
“I could use his skill, but why does he want to come?”
“You know Spike, it’s probably just an opportunity to kill things.”
Xander had no idea how much Angel knew about Spike’s, whatever it was, with Buffy but he wasn’t saying anything until they were alone. He certainly wasn’t going to be thinking any more about the things Spike had said to him either, he’d experienced enough panic for one day.
“We still need to sort out an anchor for everyone.”
Angel’s eyes grazed over Xander’s face for a moment causing an involuntary shiver down his spine. There was so much promise in that look that he wondered just how quickly Angel was healing and then felt guilty for his selfishness.
“Do we have any idea who these anchors are going to be?” Cordelia asked brightly. “Because we don’t know a whole lot of people, especially with a strong enough bond with us to anchor us to anything.” She saw Groo’s stricken look. “Not you silly, you’re coming with us.”
“According to Willow as long as the intention is pure you don’t have to be that close. You do however have to have some trust. Xander could you get Willow here, to be your anchor?”
“I guess, but she’s off the Magics, so she won’t be able to perform the spell. Who’d’ you have in mind for everyone else?”
“Fred, Gunn and Lorne, can anchor Spike, Cordy and Groo respectively.”
“Why ya picking on Fred for Spike?” Gunn asked him worriedly.
And there’s no one for you,” Cordelia reminded him.
“Fred’s probably the only one he would trust and vice versa, we’ll work on someone for me, we still have three days before we can make the potion. We have other things to get but a lot of it can be bought easily without a war breaking out hopefully.” Angel winced as he stood up and gave the list to Cordelia.
“Would you take this to Rick’s Magick Shop and pick up what you can? I know it’s a not that local but at least we’ve dealt with him before. Xander you can call Willow when we get upstairs, ask her if she’s willing to come to LA for a few days, and Fred, put the orbs in the safe until we need them.”
“What can I do?” Groo looked at him eagerly.
“Believe me you’ll have enough to do when we get there, but if you’re really eager for something to do, you could go with Gunn to the store and shop for food; if we going to have people staying in the hotel while we’re gone the least we can do is feed them.”
Gunn grumbled but took the money from Angel’s outstretched hand. “This is gonna cost you big bro, I’m talking steak and roast beast and other manly food, not to mention alcoholic beverage and time off …” Xander laughed at him.
“You’re donut boy, I’m so glad it’s not me for a change.”
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” He scowled at him.
Cordelia blushed at the memory Xander had just evoked. “Relax Gunn, it’s a little dig at me. We don’t treat anyone like that here Xander, we’re all an integral part of the team, which means any of us could end up getting the donuts.” She grinned at him.
“Hello people, is this a social gathering that anybody can join or is it strictly members only? Though I do like to think of myself as a fully paid up member, I have a trashed bar to prove it.”
Lorne walked into the Hyperion looking far better than when he left and his eyes widened speculatively when they alighted on Xander.
“Who’s this delectable looking piece of chocolate cake may I ask? And who’s gonna introduce me?”
“Lorne, this is Xander Harris, Xander this is Lorne.” Angel said.
Xander walked over to him and shook his hand. He smiled at him and pondered the merits of being called chocolate cake.
“Where d’ya hale from Xander? Are you a client?”
“What, you mean you don’t know? Angel said you were prescient.” Xander stared at him, he couldn’t help it, he was so … so green.
Fred bounded over to give Lorne a hug. “You have to sing,” she said.
“What?”
“For Lorne to tell you your true path, you have to sing so he can read you.”
“Not always necessary kitten,” his eyes flicked across to Angel. “It just helps to clarify detail. So Angelface, is there any news? Anything I need to know about? Something like say payback for the use of Dark Magicks?” He looked pointedly at Angel’s chest.
“Lawyer or demon?”
Angel started to walk up the stairs followed by Xander, he still felt weak and he needed to lie down, preferably with Xander’s warm body pressed against him. Much more appealing than the third degree.
“Demon. Someone will bring you up to speed, we’ll be upstairs.”
Lorne looked at the others, able to read a lot from their auras alone.
“Ok, kiddies, who’s gonna fill in the blanks?”
~*~
As soon as Xander closed the door behind them, Angel’s hands were in his hair, making all the little hairs on his arms stand to attention.
“I want to hold you, but it still hurts.” Angel’s voice was thick with tiredness and desire.
Xander walked around the back of him and slipped his arms around his waist. He buried his face in between his shoulder blades and wondered who was supporting whom.
“Xander, how did you know I was in trouble?” Xander exhaled heavily.
“I don’t know, this feeling started in the pit of my gut and it grew until I thought it was gonna choke me. The others thought I was nuts, with the possible exception of Fred. How you holdin’ up? Perhaps you should lie down for a bit.”
“Lie with me?”
“Sure I will, I’ll just call Willow first. I won’t be long.”
“I need get out of these trousers, that’s another pair ruined. I might just start wearing amour.” Xander laughed at him.
“You can’t move around in that stuff, I’ve tried it.”
Angel turned awkwardly and kissed him softly on the lips. He pulled back and smiled at him. “So you’re into role play nowadays, what happened to comics and bad dancing at The Bronze?“
“Hey, my dancing’s not that bad. Well it’s improved some and we never have time for The Bronze any more anyway. Not with the slaying and the apocalypses and … and it’s quite possible you’re mocking me, which is so not an Angel thing to do. You watched me dance?”
Angel kissed him again, parting his lips slightly and inviting Xander to deepen the kiss if he wanted to. Xander sank his teeth into his bottom lip, gently at first then bore down harder, only stopping before he broke the skin. He laved over the teeth marks with his tongue before slipping it into the coolness of his mouth, tasting faint traces of pig’s blood and wondering why it in no way diminished his passion for him. They broke off after a while and rested their foreheads together.
“ Thanks for coming to look for me, it means a lot.”
“Hey no problem, I’ll do anything to stop the panic.” Xander didn’t miss the hurt look on Angel’s face before he turned to walk away and he grabbed his hand.
“Angel … I … I don’t … I like you, ok? I like being with you and having sex with you. And waking up with you is incredible. I’m glad you’re letting me help you and I hope you let me stick around when this is all over.”
“I like it too Xander, but don’t go making plans, you don’t know how you’re gonna feel when this is all over. You might want to go back to Sunnydale and your life.”
Xander opened his mouth to protest but shut it when he realised the futility of arguing. The truth was that only with time would he be able to prove any point that he wanted to make. Who was he to argue anyway? He was officially crazy remember? It was the only possible explanation for the way his thoughts and feelings on the situation had become so complicated.
Xander picked up the phone and took a deep breath before dialling Buffy’s number.
“Hello?”
“Hey Buff, how’re doin’?”
“Xander, hey. I’m ok I guess, you?”
“I’m about to get the dream of a lifetime come true, I get to say, ‘Beam me up Scotty!’ What could be better than that?”
“Willow told me what you have to do. And you’re ok with this?”
“I’m ok with it. How’s Dawnie, missing me yet?”
His smile faltered as Angel walked by him in nothing but a pair of silk boxer shorts, and his throat was suddenly dry. He was talking to Buffy and Angel was nearly naked just a few feet away from him.
“She’s much better actually and we all miss you, how long do you think you’ll be gone?”
Xander opened his mouth before he’d even thought about what he was going to say.
“I’m not. Not sure.”
“I don’t suppose you can tell how long these things will take. How’s Angel?” Her tone was light but forced.
“Holding up and raring to go.”
“I‘m glad you‘re there for him. Be careful.” Xander didn’t think he was going to be able to speak for a moment; the guilt was so large in his chest. He took another deep breath.
“I promise. Is Will there?”
“Sure, I’ll get her for you, call me again before you disintegrate or whatever you’re gonna do. I’ll stick to solid masses, in human form no less.”
“The Terrible Trio still giving you trouble?”
“Nothing I can’t handle, I’ll pass you to Willow, bye.”
“Bye Buffy. Willow, hey. What are the chances of you coming to LA?”
“Xander stop fooling around.”
“I’m not, we really need you to come here. I need you to be my anchor.”
Angel felt strange listening to Xander dip back into his normal world. It was almost as if he expected them to pull him back to Sunnydale through the phone line and he knew he was being illogical but he felt the sudden urge to sit on Xander’s lap, as if contact with him would stop him leaving. The bizarre thought was only tempered by the fact it would be too surreal to be that close to him he was talking to Buffy.
Instead he lie on the bed and listened to a one sided conversation. What would Buffy say? She wouldn’t believe it was the simple answer. He still didn’t believe it himself, but as his gaze flicked over to the form of Xander slouching in the armchair by the phone he realised the proof was here in the flesh.
Such warm, smooth, fuckable flesh that housed a black hole of despair. It wasn’t old enough yet to mirror his own but it nevertheless called out to it in recognition. Were they only trying to survive, clinging on to one another until the day that existence didn’t feel like a constant struggle any more? If Connor was returned and Xander did leave would one heartache simply replace the other?
Angel was terribly afraid it would.
But that didn’t stop him from leaning into Xander’s warm embrace when he lay down behind him. Didn’t stop his body from responding to the soft caresses down his arm and his back, or the feather light kisses that he planted on the back of his neck. Xander put his arm around Angel’s waist and leaned over him to bury his head at the juncture of his neck and shoulders.
“Can I get you anything?” he whispered.
“I need sleep.” Xander pulled the covers over both of them and snuggled into Angel’s body again.
Angel listened to the sound of Xander breathing and the cadence of his heartbeat. As he drifted towards sleep he thought of the others, downstairs, doing their part to help him, and he remembered to appreciate them again for their loyalty and their love, for with hope in his heart once more he could afford to be generous. He realised with a pang of regret that he missed Wesley; almost as much as he hated him. Xander twitched, halfway to dreamland and his warm breath on the back of Angel’s neck finally soothed him to sleep.
~*~
Xander awoke to the feel of a wet tongue flicking across his nipple. There were worse ways to wake-up he acknowledged as teeth replaced tongue and Angel teased the hardening nub with little bites that got increasingly harder until they were just the right side of painful. He gathered Xander closer to him and urgently kissed up his chest to his throat, kissing and nipping his way across his jaw line and then plundering his lips in a hard kiss.
His hand suddenly closed around Xander’s stiffening cock, stroking it to hardness. Relentlessly pumping him whilst he kissed him he coaxed an orgasm from him that made Xander’s whole body tingle and his thought processes turn to porridge.
“Hello,” Xander said, when he finally got oxygen to his brain.
Angel chuckled, but his gaze was intense. “Hey.”
Xander put his arms around him and pulled him down for another kiss, passion overwhelming the need to brush his teeth. He explored Angel’s mouth roughly, greedily, and wondered how different it would feel full of serrated edges instead of the bluntness he was tracing now. What if he were to nick his tongue and let blood seep across Angel’s palette, would it provoke his demon or satisfy it?
The thought sent reawakened interest directly to his cock and he barely had time to register any concern at the reaction before Angel was pulling him into a sitting position, and taking off the rest of his clothes. He arranged Xander’s legs either side of his hips and clasped the sides of his face.
“Xander I want to feel you surround me.” He reached down to his puckered opening and teased with his fingertips before slowly pushing one inside him. He heard Xander’s heart rate speed up and felt his inner muscles tense against the intrusion.
“I’ll take my time, trust me?”
Xander nodded and wordlessly handed him the tube that was still on the bed from the morning. Angel squirted lubricant on the rest of his fingers and slid another one in to join the first. He pulled almost all the way out and pushed back in slowly, stretching his insides and stroking his face with the other hand.
He kissed him, seeking his tongue and Xander loved the feel of them sliding against each other as they fought for dominance. Angel brushed passed his prostate with leisurely strokes, adding a third finger, opening him up and eliciting tiny gasps of pleasure directly into his mouth.
Xander wondered if he could come from this kind of stimulation alone and was very disappointed when Angel withdrew his fingers and stopped kissing him.
“You might find it more comfortable on your front, or on all fours.”
“I want to see you face.” Angel smiled at him.
“There’ll be other times.”
Xander’s heart did a funny twist at those words and he climbed onto his knees. He kissed him, terrified and aroused in equal measures. He hadn’t given a lot of thought to Angel entering him before, there hadn’t been that much opportunity, but he wanted him to, he just couldn’t imagine how it could be more pleasurable than painful.
“Turn around.” Xander did as he was bid, rising up on all fours, and felt a slick finger enter him again. He relaxed his muscles and pushed back against him, which made it easier for Angel to add another digit. He started to pant and moan, Angel’s fingers thrusting gently in and out of him. and just as he was getting used to the rhythm Angel pulled out again.
Angel lined the head of his cock against his hole. “Relax, I won’t hurt you,” he whispered.
He pushed slowly forward the tip sliding in easily and Xander felt himself being stretched wider. He panted against the intrusion and felt the burn as Angel pushed in more deeply. Xander pushed back against him and then he was filled. Angel stilled for a moment. “Are you ok?”
“Yes … oh god, that feels incredible.”
Angel started to move slowly, angling himself to hit Xander’s sensitive nub. Xander couldn’t believe it and almost wished he’d discovered this before now. He started to push back against Angel, wishing he could see the look on his face, and the only other thing missing was Angel’s arms around him. But then Angel draped himself across Xander’s back making it somehow more intimate and reached down for his cock, which was still slick with come.
Angel increased the pace of his rhythm and fisted Xander’s cock in counterpoint. He relished the heat and the tightness, it had been so long, so very long since he had enjoyed this and never before with a human being. He clung to his hip so he could penetrate him deeper, faster, and Xander thrust back against him, encouraging him until he shattered into tiny waves of pleasure. Xander felt the coldness flood his bowels and came groaning Angel’s name, covering his hand with wet warmth again.
Xander collapsed on the bed with Angel still inside of him. His breath came in ragged pants as they both lay there spent. Xander’s eyes flew open when he remembered Angel’s injury.
“Angel your chest, your heart, are you alright?”
“Fine, I’m fine. Supernatural healing powers remember.”
Xander reached back for him, trying to forge some contact between them other than Angel’s weight and his cock, which was slipping out of him as it softened. Angel slid off him to his side and Xander turned to face him.
“How d’you feel?” Angel asked him.
“Like you rearranged my insides, but in a good way. How’m I expected to do anything else beside this from now on, I mean who needs work or a social life?”
“You liked it.”
“I liked it, I like making love with you.” Xander touched his face softly.
Angel’s eyes widened, and for a moment he could have sworn he felt the echo of a beating in his chest. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment and then looked into Xander’s eyes, trying to decipher his expression.
“Is that what we’re doing? Making love.” Xander felt his throat close up for a minute, and he swallowed a few times so he could speak again.
“Well it’s not just sex for me. I care about you, I wouldn’t be sleeping with you if I didn’t.”
“So you’re not just here to help me find Connor?”
Xander rubbed his hand over his face and realised he needed a shave, an inconsequential thought to avoid the subject currently under discussion.
“I told you, this is …, if you want to stop that’s your choice, I’m still staying to help you find him. Do you want to stop, is it getting too complicated for you?”
“That’s not really an answer to my question.“ He sighed when Xander stayed silent. “No it’s not too complicated, yet. I care about you too. You’re a hero, I like that in people.” Angel grinned at him. “You’re also a great lay.” Xander laid his head on Angel’s chest and an arm across his belly.
“Mock me all you like, I’m too satisfied to care.” Angel stroked his fingers through his hair.
“I’m not mocking you. You are a hero. You’ll jump into the fray with no supernatural abilities or training and put your life on the line for those you love.” That hung in the air for a moment until Xander looked up at him.
“Don’t you have to go and fight demons and stuff?”
“I do, though I doubt Cordelia’s had a vision or we would have heard by now.”
“What you mean they could have come up here at any time? Now you tell me this.”
“Relax, they would have knocked.”
“Has Cordelia talked to you about us?”
“She hasn’t had the chance yet, and I’m thinking with what’s going on in the next few days that I might actually manage to avoid it altogether. Did she get you?”
“Oh yeah. It was relatively painless which probably means she hasn’t finished yet. I sort of fainted before …”
“What? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine, though food wouldn’t be a bad idea right about now.”
“You should be careful, migraines, fainting. Are you sure you’re not sick?”
Xander thought back to the conversation he’d had with Spike. It seemed a lifetime ago and he really believed now that Spike was wrong. He didn’t know Angel any more, he would see for himself when he got here.
“I’m not sick. I’ve suffered with migraines ever since I was in 7th grade. My doctor says that I have a trigger; it could be any one of a number of things or a combination of them. Stress, certain types of food, coffee, chocolate. Stress seems to be the biggest factor and not eating, speaking of which?”
“I wonder if Gunn and Groo are back yet. We could cook you up a feast.” Angel grinned at him. Xander checked his watch.
“They should be it’s 7.35. I’m going to jump in the shower before we go down, and maybe we should change the bed?”
It occurred to Angel that he’d never had this kind of domesticity with anyone before. Back when he, Darla, Spike and Drusilla had all lived together in their various abodes they’d had servants, minions to change the bed and other inane tasks and he’d never given it any thought. Since then, no one had shared his bed long enough to talk about it. Xander peeled himself reluctantly away from Angel’s embrace.
“Wait. Before you go.”
“Yeah?”
“Just this.” Angel kissed him again, deeply.
“Don’t take all the hot water.”
“I won’t, I never hog all the water, despite what Anya might tell you.”
Xander went into the bathroom and Angel settled back under the covers. Was it getting too complicated? He already knew the answer to that but it was too late to change it.
He thought of Connor, something he tried not to do because it made him sick to his stomach. But he could afford to now, there was every chance they would find him and bring him back. Was Holtz taking care of him, loving him, keeping him safe? How did you keep a baby safe in a demon dimension such as Quor-toth?
Angel sat up in bed when sudden realisation hit him. They’d all over looked one crucial thing. How were they going to bring Connor back home?