Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. They belong to Joss and his people. Don't sue me. It's rude. "Glycerine" is Bush.

Rating: NC-17

Summary: After her last apocalypse, Buffy decided to finally live a normal life. But is it really all she dreamed it would be? (Six years after the end of Angel; Spike/Buffy)

Author's Note: This is my first Buffy fic, so please, be nice!

Feedback and Archiving: Both are very nice. Positive feedback and constructive criticism are welcome. Flames are ignored. Please ask before archiving. Email: addie_logan@yahoo.com

Shameless Website Plug: I don't have any more Buffy fics at the moment, but I have lots of other stuff: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan



After the End Has Come and Gone

By: Addie Logan

*** *** ***

It must be your skin that I'm sinking in
It must be for real 'cause now I can feel
And I didn't mind
It's not my kind, it's not my time to wonder why
Everything gone white
Everything's grey
Now you're here Now you're away
I don't want this
Remember that
I'll never forget where you're at

Don't let the days go by
Glycerine Glycerine

I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
Are you at one, or do you lie
We live in a wheel where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields
I treated you bad, you bruise my face
I couldn't love you more, you've got a beautiful taste

Don't let the days go by
Could've been easier on you
I couldn't change though I wanted to
It should have been easier by three
Our old friend fear and you and me
Glycerine Glycerine

Don't let the days go by
Glycerine
Don't let the days go by....
Glycerine Glycerine
Glycerine Glycerine

Bad move white again
Bad move white again
As she falls around me
I needed you more when you wanted us less
I could not kiss, just regress
It might just be clear simple and plain
Well that's just fine that's just one of my names

Don't let the days go by
It could've been easier on you
Glycerine, Glycerine, Glycerine, Glycerine

*** *** ***

Angel had wanted to stop the Apocalypse.

Instead, he'd almost brought it down on them all, years before it was supposed to arrive.

Buffy Summers stood, surveying the wreckage. She felt numb. She had hoped that she'd finished this part of her life, that she could just start over in Rome and enjoy herself in a way she hadn't been able to since she'd been a young teenager. She'd saved the world more time than she could count. Didn't she deserve a break?

She leaned against the nearest standing wall and let out a ragged breath. She knew she should be doing something. Celebrating, crying, anything to let out the torrent of emotions that should be welling in her. She kept staring, as if willing it all to either disappear or actually become real to her.

"Buffy?"

Buffy held up her hand. "Not now, Angel."

"It's over, Buffy," Angel said, ignoring her request. "We stopped it."

"You started it," Buffy snapped.

Angel flinched. "Buffy, Wolfram and Hart…"

"Oh, you mean the law firm of evil that you were the CEO of?" Buffy cut him off.

Angel gaped for a moment at a loss for words. "Buffy, I was trying to do something good…"

"Yeah, and a lot of 'good' it did," Buffy said, pointing to the mess in front of her. In the last year, Los Angeles had become ground zero for an all out war between good and evil. In the end, not much had been left.

"We stopped it," Angel said. "We stopped the Senior Partners, and…"

"It shouldn't have been now, Angel. This was someone else's apocalypse. Not mine."

"Buffy…"

Buffy looked at him, fire in her eyes again. "Xander's dead, Angel. I kept him alive for seven years in Sunnydale, but here…" She looked down, her voice almost a whisper. "He's dead."

Angel tried to find something he could say to that. "I lost people, too," he said lamely.

"Yeah, well, whose fault is that?"

Angel looked down. He knew the answer to that question, but he didn't want to say it. "I didn't mean for this to happen, Buffy. I was trying… It was supposed to be different."

Buffy held up her hand. "I don't want to talk anymore, Angel. It's over now, and I'm…I'm tired." She sighed, running her hands through her messy hair. "I'm just so tired."

"Buffy…"

"Don't. I can't, not anymore." She looked at him one last time, a surprise flash of pain hitting her as she realized she could never again be the young girl who loved him with every thing she had and swore she always would. Anything that was left of that girl was buried along side her friends in the debris that surrounded them.

She turned, and Angel watched her walk away from him through the rubble and the blaze.

*** *** ***

Five Years Later…

Spike wasn't exactly sure where he was. He had ridden into Texas several days ago, so he assumed he was somewhere near the Mexican border. But other than that, he had no clue. And he didn't care.

He pulled his motorcycle up to a motel, the fizzling neon sign painting his platinum blond hair and pale skin an eerie pink and blue. The sun would be up soon, and he needed a place to stay until nightfall again. It was times like this that he regretted picking a motorcycle over a car. He was really too restless to stop, but he also wasn't quite in the mood to be fried by the early morning sun either. He longed for his old DeSoto, the blackened windows protecting him from becoming nothing more than a blazing pile of dust.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked in. A man Spike figured was in his late twenties or early thirties was behind the desk, a hat pulled down over his eyes as he slept. He tapped the bell a couple of times, and the man jumped a little, then looked up. "You need a room."

"Yes."

"Fer how long?"

"Just for the day," Spike replied.

The man stood, pushing a book towards Spike. "That'll be thirty-five. Sign here."

Spike reached into his pocket, handing the man a wad of bills before signing the book. The man counted the money before grabbing a key from the rack behind him and handing it to Spike. "Room 2E."

Spike nodded, taking the key. He walked back outside, then up the stairs to his room. He unlocked the door, opening it to find a room that looked almost identical to all the others he'd found himself in over the years. "Home sweet home," he muttered, dropping his bag by the small table by the window. He took off his duster, hanging it over the back of a chair before going over to make sure the thick curtains were pulled tightly closed. He then sat on the edge of the bed, taking off his boots before lying down, staring at the ceiling. Spike closed his eyes, willing himself to go to sleep.

After all, it was better than being awake.

*** *** ***

This is just sort of a try out chapter to see what kind of response I get so I can decide if I want to continue. It's my first Buffy fic, and I'm not sure if it's any good. Let me know if I should keep writing or not!
 

Chapter 2:

Spike trudged through the underground tunnels that he'd come to almost regard as home over the past few months. At least he could relax there. A little.

In over a century of existence, he'd never seen anything like this. What was left of Los Angeles's human population had retreated underground, fighting alongside the all-too-battle-hardened girls that comprised the Slayer Army.

When he'd agreed to go along with Angel's latest stop the Apocalypse plan, he'd never fathomed it would be like this. He'd expected one last good battle before he was dust. Instead, he'd ended up helping to command an all-out offensive against evil.

He'd been close to the end that first night. Angel fought his dragon, but it had all just kept coming. More demons than Spike had ever seen in one place, Hellmouth included. Eventually, he'd grown exhausted and collapsed, almost welcoming the demon that had perched on his chest, ready to take off his head.

He'd closed his eyes, made his peace with the end. But then it hadn't had come. The demon had screamed, dissolving into nothing. And then Spike had opened his eyes to the face of his salvation.

Buffy… At first he'd thought he'd died and gone to Heaven. Then he remembered they'd never let him in. She reached down, offering him her hand.

"The cavalry's here," she said, gesturing to the mass of Slayers who had entered the fray. "And remind me later to kick your ass for not telling me you've been alive all this time."

Spike smirked. Same old Buffy. "Undead, actually."

Buffy gave him a quick smile. "Whatever." She tossed him a sword. "Get to work."

Spike felt his second wind as he gripped the sword tightly. These demons were in for it now…

That had been six months ago, and the battle had only grown worse. Spike lit a cigarette, cursing it all. Riley Finn and his Initiative buddies had shown up early on, informing them that LA had been declared "under terrorist control" and closed off by the government. He'd tried to take charge of the situation, but Buffy hadn't let him. She told him that no matter what his military training had taught him, she was the Slayer, and leading the forces of goodness against the Apocalypse was her job, dammit. She'd welcomed Riley's help, but hadn't let him or anyone else try to push her down.

Spike smiled around his cigarette as he thought about just how tough his Buffy had proven herself to be. She'd kept them on the plus side of the battle, never let victory seem too impossible. She'd even improved her speeches a little.

He entered the command center that they'd scraped together as best they could, Buffy's scent leading him right to her. She was training, kicking and punching a bag with all her might. She was always dirty now. They all were. Her hair was shorter and brown now. No time for highlights when every moment could be your last. Still, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

She stopped when she saw him and gave him a quick look. "Go away."

Spike saw the pain in her eyes. He could almost feel it radiating off of her. He dropped his cigarette to the floor, grinding it out beneath his feet. "What happened, luv?"

"Nothing. Go." She punched the bag again, so hard that Spike was surprised she didn't bust it.

Spike walked over to her, putting his hand on her shoulder to still her. "Slayer, it's something. I can tell."

Buffy suddenly turned on him, pummeling him with her small fists. Spike grabbed them, trying to stop her. She pushed at him, knocking him on the ground before renewing her attack, hitting his chest hard. Suddenly she stopped, collapsing on him in tears. Spike wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back and whispering soothing words against her hair.

"It's Xander," she said finally. "He's…he's dead."

Spike froze. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not," Buffy said, trying to force herself to stop crying. "You always hated him."

"I am sorry, Buffy. We never got along, but… I'll miss him."

"You will?"

"Yeah, I will."

"So will I." Buffy looked up, meeting his eyes. She searched them for a moment before saying softly, "I need you."

"I'm right here, luv."

"No, I need you, Spike. Please, make the pain go away for a little while. The way you used to."

Spike sucked in an un-needed breath. "Pet…"

"Please."

Spike sighed. "Not here. Anyone could walk in…"

Buffy nodded, standing up. She reached her hand down to him, and Spike grasped it, letting her pull him to his feet. He walked with her back into her small make-shift bedroom, no more than a cot and a wash basin really. She lay back on the cot, holding her arms out to him. Spike wasted no time in moving into them. It had been so long, and he'd missed the feel of her holding in.

"Buffy…" he said softly, kissing her neck, "I love you."

"Shh…" Buffy said, reaching down to undo his belt. "Don't talk. Just touch me."

Spike nodded, running his hands under her shirt. Her skin felt so warm to his cool hands, and he shivered. Knowing her, she'd regret this as soon as it was over, but he wasn't going to stop. She needed comfort, and maybe for once he could give it to her.

Buffy sat up, straddling his hips. She smiled at him before pulling her shirt up, baring herself to Spike's heated gaze. He reached up, stroking her cheek. "So beautiful…"

Buffy moved his hand down, molding it over her breast. "Just touch."

Spike nodded, pulling her down to his mouth. Buffy threw her head back, moaning loudly, and Spike felt his entire world narrow to this girl, this moment. He bit his tongue to keep from telling her that he loved her again. That wasn't what she needed. She needed him to make her feel, and he could give her that.

He reached, taking hold of her zipper and sliding it down. Buffy gasped as he reached inside and found her, and Spike smiled. He still knew just how to touch her.

"No teasing, Spike…" Buffy panted. "Do it now."

Spike flipped her over, looking down to find her eyes full of desire. This was perfect. Even if it was just for a little while, it was all he wanted, needed.

Spike sat up with a start. For a split second his eyes darted in search of Buffy before he realized she'd never been there. It had been another dream, a memory of the times they'd comforted each other when the pressures and pains of battle became too much.

But it had been five years since he'd seen her. She had walked out of his life without so much as a good bye, and he'd given up on the hope of ever seeing her again, never mind actually getting to hold her in his arms.

He glanced over towards the window and noticed the only light seeping in around the curtains was of the street lamp variety. He checked the clock. After dark.

"Might as well find my way out of this town," Spike muttered. "Wherever the bloody hell it is."

He put his boots and duster back on, grabbed his bag and keys, and left the room.

Wouldn't be too long until he was back in a room just like it.

*** *** ***

Spike walked back to the office, stopping when he saw a woman leaning over the desk, talking to the same clerk that had been there the night before. "Clint, I told you I'd be working the night shift tonight."

"No, baby, you didn't."

"I did."

"You didn't."

"I so did."

Spike froze. That voice… It couldn't be, but it was one he'd know anywhere. He was sure that if his heart had been beating, it would've stopped right then.

"No, baby, you didn't. But no more arguin'. There's a guest here. Everything all right with your room, mister?"

Spike swallowed. The voice…the scene…his mind had to be playing tricks on him. The woman in front of him was going to turn around, and it was going to be a stranger. Not his…

She turned around and Spike froze. She gasped, and Spike wasn't quite sure how he kept from grabbing her and never letting her go. "Slayer…" he said after a moment.

"Spike?"

"You know this guy?" Clint said from behind the desk. "And why did he just call you Slayer?"

Buffy blinked, recovering quickly. "Uh, high school nickname. I, um, met Spike in high school."

"That she did," Spike said, still trying to recover from the shock of being in the same room as Buffy again. "And Slayer…well, she always had a way of 'slaying' all the boys."

Buffy felt herself grow crimson at Spike's tone. "That was a long time ago," Buffy said. "Um, Clint, this is Spike. Spike, this is my husband, Clint."

Husband? Spike didn't like the sound of that at all. "Nice to meet you, Clint," he said, not making the best attempt to hide the fact that he didn't mean it at all.

"You, too, Spike. And how exactly did you get that little name?"

"Well, you see, I used to torture people with railroad spikes."

Buffy blanched for a moment before she started laughing nervously. "He's kidding. You were always such a kidder, Spike." She turned back to Clint. "It's his hair. See—it's spikey."

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, it's the hair. I just like the look I get for the railroad spikes thing."

"See, what did I tell you—kidder." Buffy turned and gave Spike a look. He couldn't help but chuckle. It was the same look she'd always given him when she wanted him to shut up.

"Yeah, real funny guy," Clint said, eyeing Spike warily. "So did you need something?"

"Uh, yeah. See, I said last night that I was only going to be here for a day, but I've gone and changed my mind. I'd like to have the room for another night." He looked at Buffy.

Clint ground his teeth, not wanting the man that looked at his wife like that to stay any longer. "Fine. Give me your money then."

"What, no free lodgings for an old friend of the wife's?"

Buffy looked at Clint. "He has a point," she said.

Clint grumbled. "Fine. But I'm not reimbursing you for last night."

"Fair enough," Spike said, looking back at Buffy again. She made him ache. He was sure that sometime in the past five years, she'd gotten even more beautiful.

"Buffy, baby, didn't you have to get to work?"

Buffy blinked when Clint spoke, suddenly realizing that Spike had been staring at her—and she had been staring back. "Yeah, work. Um, nice to see you again, Spike."

"You, too, pet. Maybe we can catch up later?"

Buffy smiled. "You bet. Have a good night." She started towards the door, but then stopped. "You're not hungry, are you?"

Spike chuckled. "No. I'm fine."

"Good. I'll, um, talk to you later."

Buffy hurried out of the motel's small office. Seeing Spike again had thrown her off balance. One glance and she felt her world spinning. She'd tried so hard to rebuild her life, to try to forget about everything she'd gone through before she'd found her niche here. Tried to forget the year she'd spent in the hell that had once been L.A. But now, Spike was here, and everything rushed back to the surface. She took a deep, calming breath, then walked towards the truck stop where she worked.

After Buffy was gone, Spike looked over at Clint. "So you and Buffy…" Spike said.

"Yeah. Look, Mr…Spike. Despite what some people in these parts might say, I'm not a stupid man. I know somethin' happened between you and my Buffy." Clint watched as Spike's jaw clenched as he said "My Buffy," and knew his theory had been right. "But if you lay one hand on her, I'll make you sure as hell wish you hadn't. And the same goes if you ever call her 'pet' again. Got it?"

Spike narrowed his eyes, fighting the urge to let his demon face emerge and let Clint know exactly who the real big bad was. "Yeah, I got it. I'll be going back to my room now."

"Yeah, you do that."

Spike left the office and walked back towards his room. When he was sure Clint couldn't see him anymore, he doubled back, heading towards the truck stop he'd seen Buffy going to.

After five years without Buffy in his life, there was no way he was going to stay away from her now.

*** *** ***

"Damn. And it was just today that I was saying we never get any good lookin' men in this place. I stand corrected."

Buffy didn't look up from the coffee maker. "So go flirt or something, Cindy," she said to the other waitress. She hit the machine in front of her. "Damn piece of garbage. Never works."

"Turn around, Buffy. You have to see this guy. He's sin personified."

Buffy froze. Sin personified? If anyone fit that description… She groaned. He didn't… She turned around. He did. "Spike," she mumbled under her breath. "Didn't you ever learn stalking isn't attractive?"

He sat at one of the tables and waved at Buffy, his expression smug. Cindy frowned. "See this just ain't fair. You marry the only decent guy in town and you still get the hot travelers."

"It's not what you think," Buffy said. She looked at Spike, his sexy smirk making her body tingle in a way it hadn't in such a long time. "I know him."

Cindy raised an eyebrow. "Do you now?"

Buffy blushed. "Um, yeah. A long time ago. When I lived in California."

Cindy shook her head. "You lucky, lucky bitch."

"Not as lucky as you may think. I'm going to go over there and see what he wants."

Cindy snorted. "The way he's looking at you, I think I know what he wants."

"Well he's not getting that." Buffy wiggled her left ring finger. "Happily married woman." She walked over to Spike's table, her features set in grim determination. "And what do you want? We don't serve any of your usual meal of choice."

"Oh, I'm not hungry at all, pet. I just had a nice snack of a hotel clerk, and…"

Buffy paled. "You didn't. You wouldn't!"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Please. My soul's not as removable as some. You should know that's just teasin'"

"Teasing about eating someone's husband like that is not very funny, Spike," Buffy snapped.

"Aw, lighten up, Slayer. It's been years, and you're acting like you're not happy to see me."

"I'm not."

Spike blinked, but quickly moved to cover up the hurt her words had caused. He was an old expert at that after all. "Afraid I'll put a nasty crimp in your happy little domestic life?" Spike asked.

"No. There's nothing you could do to mess up what I have with Clint. I love him, and he loves me."

"How bloody touching."

"Look, I have to work, and there's really no point in you being here. Just go back to the hotel. We can talk later."

"Sure there's a point to me being here. Maybe I'm hungry."

"We don't serve blood," Buffy said with a glare.

"Don't want any. Maybe I want some of that apple pie you Americans are so fond of."

"Spike…"

"You're a waitress, and I'm a customer. Now be a good girl and bring me some apple pie."

Buffy was fuming. Five years and he still knew exactly how to get under her skin. "I'll bring that right out," she said through gritted teeth.

Spike watched her as she walked away. The shock of seeing her again was starting to wear off and be replaced by anger. Five years ago she had run out on him, and now she was acting like this. Well, fine. If that was the way she wanted to play it, Spike would go right along. Apparently the years and the marriage hadn't matured her one bit.

Spike wasn't surprised when the other waitress brought him out the pie. She batted her eyelashes sweetly at him, but Spike didn't notice. His anger was rising more by the moment. Buffy wasn't even looking at him now. He stood up, putting enough money on the table to pay for the pie. "Suddenly, I'm not so hungry," he said, storming out the restaurant with his duster swirling behind him,

Buffy didn't have to look behind her to know Spike was gone. She slumped forward, wishing it could all just go away.

*** *** ***
 

Chapter 3:

Spike paced angrily in his hotel room. Who did she think she was, treating him like he was nobody important to her? Hadn't he risked his life for her time and time again? "Hell, sod risk it," Spike said aloud. "I bloody gave it. Burned up closing the Hellmouth, I did. Not my fault I came back!"

Spike began to pace faster, gesturing as he spoke. "And did I even let it end there? No. I risked my newly-corporalized arse to fight yet another apocalypse for her. And do I even get a 'thanks, Spike?' No! All I get is a few shags in the dark and then the snippy little bint walking out on me like I'm nothing." Spike stopped, forcing himself to stand a little taller. "Well no more of that. It's been five years. I'm not the Slayer's whipping boy anymore."

Spike grabbed his coat, heading for the door. It was time for him to find something to eat.

*** *** ***

Spike stood in the alley, his senses peaked as he searched for prey. A scent caught his nose and he grinned predatorily. "Here kitty, kitty," he said softly, his features changing. He pounced on the cat, making short work of it.

"I really need to find a butcher's shop," Spike said, wiping his mouth. He looked down at the cat laying at his feet and frowned. "You're pathetic, mate," he said to himself. "Wandering around like this, surviving off strays and rodents in back alleys. Talking to yourself… No wonder the Slayer hates you. Wanker."

Spike shook his head, changing back to his human visage as he walked out of the alley.

*** *** ***

Buffy stopped outside Spike's hotel room. She knew she should just walk away and hope he left the next day. She shouldn't have anything left to say to him. She'd made her feelings quite clear earlier.

At least she'd made her thoughts clear. She still wasn't quite clear on her feelings herself. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Maybe if she could just talk to him for a little while, she could get some closure on that part of her life.

Spike threw open the door. "Buffy1" He smiled for a second, then frowned. "Go away, Slayer. And since when did you bother to knock?"

"Would you rather I have just busted in?"

"I'd rather you didn't show up at all. Now go away. This is my room. I paid for it for the night."

"Actually, no, you didn't. And I want to talk to you. Can I come in?"

Spike blocked the door. "No. And why do you want to talk? You never want to talk."

"I just…" Buffy stopped, frowning. "Are you drunk?"

Spike shrugged. "Of course."

Buffy rolled her eyes and pushed Spike out of the way. She gasped. "Spike, you trashed the room!"

"Not really," Spike said, shutting the door and leaning against it. "Just threw some stuff around, is all. I did break the mirror, but I didn't need it anyway."

"Well, the next guest might! Clint is going to be livid!"

"Oooh…don't want to upset the git of a husband."

"He's not a…" Buffy frowned. "A git. He's a wonderful man."

"Good on him. Although I never thought you'd be satisfied with a man that couldn't show you a little demon now and then." He leered at her, running his tongue over his teeth, behind his upper lip.

Buffy glared. "Go to Hell, Spike."

"Already been there. Don't you remember, pet? Climbed right down into the mouth of Hell for you, I did. You told me you loved me then." Spike walked to her, running his hand through her hair. "You remember that?"

Buffy felt her pulse quicken for a moment before she pushed him away. "Yes. And I also remember not meaning it—as you pointed out at the time."

Spike glared. "Why are you here then? I can make myself miserable on my own just fine, thank you. Don't need your help."

"True. You always were the master of self pity."

"'Scuse me?"

"Oh come on. 'Drusilla left me…there's a chip in my head…my soul hurts.' All you ever think about is your misery."

"Me? What about you, Slayer? 'I shagged my boyfriend's soul away...my little sis is a magical key…I died…'"

"Spike, those were legitimate problems. I mean, I died."

"Hey, I died, too. Still dead, as a matter of fact. Don't hear me complaining about it."

Buffy threw up her hands. "I'm leaving. I don't know why I thought I could have a conversation with you."

"Good! Didn't want you here in the first place."

Buffy stormed out, closing the door behind her with a satisfying slam. She had gotten only a few feet when she heard a crash in Spike's room. "Dammit, he's breaking things again," she muttered, turning around to save her husband's motel. She stopped short when she saw Spike sprawled on the floor with a chair over him. She rolled her eyes, going to him and lifting the chair. She knelt beside him and shook him. He didn't budge, so she shook him harder. Still nothing. Buffy sighed heavily, picking Spike up and carrying him over to the bed.

She started to leave after she had deposited him on top of the blankets, but stopped when she saw a light cut on his face with blood running down his cheek. "This is just so he doesn't stain the sheets," she mentally assured herself. Buffy got a washcloth from the bathroom, dampening it with warm water before going back to Spike, wiping the blood from his face.

Spike opened his eyes, smiling when he saw her. "Are you taking care of me, pet?"

"Don't think too much of it," Buffy said. "I didn't want you bleeding all over the bed. People get a little squeamish about staying at a motel with blood on the beds."

Spike chuckled a little. "Do you remember when you did this before, in your basement?" Buffy frowned, and Spike elaborated. "With the First. After…after I attacked Andrew."

"I remember."

"You said you believed in me." Spike's eyes closed, and he murmured sleepily, "Do you still believe in me?"

Buffy froze. She stared at him for a moment, but he didn't say anything else. "Spike?" He didn't answer, and Buffy figured he was asleep. She got up, rinsing the blood out of the washcloth at the sink before walking to the door. She stopped, turning around to watch Spike for a moment.

"I still believe in you," she whispered softly as she turned around and left the room.

*** *** ***

"Your shift was up well over an hour ago."

Buffy shut the door to the small apartment attached to the motel that she shared with her husband. "It's nice to see you, too."

"I've been waitin' up," Clint said. "Where have you been?"

Buffy considered lying to him, but decided against it. "I went to talk to Spike."

Clint narrowed his eyes. "At this time of night?"

"I figured he'd still be awake. He's sort of…an evening person."

"I want you staying away from him. I don't like you being alone with your ex in the middle of the night."

"Spike isn't my ex."

Clint raised his eyebrow. "What is he then?"

"He's…it's…it's complicated."

"Uncomplicated it then. Stay away from him. He'll be leaving tomorrow anyway."

"Clint, he's…"

Clint took Buffy by the shoulders, turning her to look at him. He lowered his gaze, meeting her eyes. "Stay away from him, Buffy. You don't even want him here."

Buffy blinked, then sighed. "You're right, Clint. I don't want him here. I'll stay away from him, all right?"

Clint smiled. "Good. Come on, baby. Let's go to bed."

"Let's. I'm tired."

Clint put his arm around her and walked with her to the bedroom. "Me, too."

*** *** ***

I know that was a short one, but I didn't have a lot of time to write today. I'll try to have more tomorrow. Please let me know how I'm doing!
 

Chapter 4:

When Spike woke up again, the sun was beginning to sink over the horizon. He smiled to himself as he remembered the last thing he'd seen before he'd fallen asleep. Buffy… She'd put him to bed and cleaned off a cut he didn't even remember getting.

She'd told him she didn't want him around, but her actions said otherwise. Husband or no, he wasn't leaving until he got something from her, even if it was just an acknowledgement that he'd meant something to her in the past.

Spike waited for the sun to go down before going back to the truck stop, hoping he'd find Buffy there.

*** *** ***

Spike frowned as he surveyed the small restaurant. No Buffy. He frowned harder when he saw that other waitress from the night before coming towards him. He really was not in the mood for this.

"Can I help you, hon?" she asked, giving him a coy smile.

"Is Buffy working tonight, uh, Cindy?" Spike asked, reading her name tag.

"She's not supposed to come in until later."

"Later when?"

Cindy ran her fingers down Spike's arm. "Why does it matter? I'm here now."

Spike stepped back. "I really just wanted to talk to Buffy."

Cindy pouted. "She won't be in until ten."

"I'll come back then."

Cindy grabbed his shoulder. "Are you really sure you want to leave now, handsome. I got a break comin' up…"

Spike glared, pulling his arm away from her. "Yes." He pointed to a table of people. "Go back to work."

Cindy pouted. "Fine. But Buffy isn't interested. She told me so last night. Said she never cared one bit about you."

Spike started to give the woman a piece of his mind when he realized that that would probably lead to having to hear her talk more. He settled for giving her a warning look before leaving.

A brunette walked up behind Cindy, crossing her arms in front of her as she watched Spike leave. "He's proving to be rather troublesome."

Cindy nodded. "Clint said he would already be gone."

"Hopefully he will be soon. He can't be allowed to ruin everything."

"And if he doesn't leave?"

The brunette smiled slowly. "Then he can be…persuaded."

*** *** ***

"Evenin', pet."

Buffy jumped, turning around to see Spike leaning against the alley wall. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you. The blonde in there said your shift started at ten."

"Yeah, it does. I need to get inside."

"You still got a few minutes," Spike said. "Let me talk to you for a moment."

"I don't want to talk to you, Spike," Buffy said. "I don't want you here. I want to stay away from you."

Spike shrugged. "What's new? Look, I'm not here to try anything. It's just…it's been a long time, Buffy."

"I don't want you here. I want to stay away from you."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You already said that."

Buffy turned away. "Please, just leave."

"Buffy, come on. Just talk to me for a moment. I want to know how you've been."

"I'm fine," Buffy said. "Happily married and everything."

"I noticed."

"Can I go to work now?"

Spike sighed. "Buffy… Look, I haven't seen you, or any of the Sunnydale gang for that matter, in five years, and contrary to what you might believe, I've wondered about you—all of you." Buffy stared at him for a moment, and Spike asked. "How's the nibblet?"

"Huh?"

"Dawn."

"Oh. Right. Dawn and I don't talk anymore."

Spike frowned. "You don't talk to your sister anymore? Since when?"

"Since Clint and I got married. He said he didn't want any family baggage messing up our life together, and I agree completely."

Spike didn't like the sound of that. Buffy had once thrown herself off a tower to save her sister, and now she wasn't talking to her because her husband said so? It didn't add up. "How long has it been since you talked to her?"

"Clint and I have been married almost a year now, so about that long.

"And you're never going to talk to her again?" Spike asked uncertainly.

"No. I'm not going to talk to any of them. They would distract from my new life. Look, Spike, it's been sort of nice to see you, but I don't want you here and…"

"You want to stay away from me," Spike finished for her. "Yeah, I got it. I'm gonna just…go back to the motel."

"And leave tonight?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"Maybe…" Spike said, backing away. Something wasn't right here, and he wasn't about to leave Buffy until he knew what it was. "See you around, pet."

"Good bye, Spike." Buffy walked into the building.

Spike headed back to the motel. He needed to come up with something that could help him get to the bottom of things.

*** *** ***

Spike went straight to the phone. He had to get in touch with some of Buffy's old friends, had to find out when the last time she'd spoken to any of them was. Maybe they could help him figure out what was going on.

He froze as he picked up the receiver. He had no clue how to reach a single one of them, not even Angel. He frowned, realizing he wasn't even sure what country any of them were in these days. Before the near-end-of-the-world in L.A., Dawn and Buffy had been living in Rome. Was Dawn there now?

Spike knew what he had to do. Buffy said she hadn't spoken to any of her friends in a year, but did that mean she'd gotten rid of anyway to contact them?

He'd noticed an add-on to the back of the motel that he assumed was where Buffy and her husband lived. If he could sneak back there, possibly he could find some way of getting in contact with someone who could shine some light on the current situation. He left the motel room, taking a quick glance to make sure that Clint was still at the front desk before going around to the back. Deciding to choose time over stealth, he broke a window, reaching in through the shattered pane to unlock the window and then push it open. If it turned out he was just paranoid, well, Buffy could beat him up for it later.

He didn't risk turning on a light, his vampiric senses allowing him to see well enough in the dark. He crept into the bedroom, going to a desk near the closet. He opened the drawers, searching for something that might tell him what he needed, possibly an address book.

"Care to tell me why you're snooping around my bedroom?"

Spike turned around, coming face to face with Clint. "Lookin' for a lighter?" he offered.

Clint glared. "How dumb do you think I am, punk?"

"Um, I was going with fairly, bordering on really. Thanks for asking."

"Look, I don't know what you're tryin' to pull, but Buffy is my woman now, so you best just stay away."

Spike groaned inwardly. Was this guy going to start beating his chest in a moment? What was with Buffy and the Cro-Magnon types? "Look, I'm not here for Buffy."

Clint crossed his arms. "Then why are you here, Stick was it?"

"Spike," Spike snapped. "I was here because…you wouldn't by any chance know how to contact Buffy's sister, Dawn, would you?"

"Buffy ain't got no sister."

"Uh, yes, she does. Bit taller than Buffy, long brown hair. Talks a lot. Dawn."

"I know who you mean, but she' ain't Buffy's sister. Not anymore. Buffy doesn't need anyone but me."

"Well, you're a right possessive bastard, now aren't you," Spike said, glaring at Clint. He didn't like the idea of someone taking Buffy away from Dawn. The bit had lost enough as it was.

Clint grabbed Spike by the collar, shoving him against the wall. "Yes, I am. And you stay the hell away from my wife, or I'll hurt you somethin' awful." Clint dropped Spike, then punched him hard in the stomach.

That was it for Spike. He switched to his game face, grabbing Clint and reversing their positions, holding him against the wall. "Look, you git, I know something's not right here, and I know you have something to do with it. What's happened to Buffy?"

Spike expected Clint to cower in fear at the sight of a vampire staring down at him. Instead, he just smirked, then reached up, grabbing Spike's arm and wrenching it behind his back almost hard enough to snap it. Spike called out in surprise and pain. He looked up to see Clint suddenly growing larger, her appearance changing to one decidedly demonic. Spike groaned. "Bloody hell…"

Suddenly, Spike felt a sharp blow to the back of his head and everything went black.

Clint fixed his demonic gaze on Spike's limp body for a moment before looking up at the brunette woman who stood over him. "What shall we do with the vampire?"

"Take him back to his room for now."

"What about the Slayer? He will tell her what has transpired here."

The brunette waved her hand. "She will not believe him. You will see to that."

"Yes, I will."

"The vampire will be gone soon," the brunette said. "And if not, well, I shall deal with it."

Clint nodded, then hoisted Spike over his shoulder and carried him out of the apartment.

*** *** ***

Spike woke with a pounding headache. He looked around his motel room to find it in disarray again, several empty Jack Daniels bottles scattered around. "I didn't drink last night…did I?" he said, surveying the room.

The previous night was a bit hazy, but he was fairly positive he remembered Buffy's new husband being a demon. He decided Clint must have arranged the room the way it was, tried to make it look like it had all been a drunken hallucination. But Spike knew better. He was well versed in the difference between the type of headache caused by a hangover and the kind caused by a sharp blow to the skull, and this was definitely the latter. He knew it was daylight, but he didn't care. He had to get to Buffy. She had to know what was going on before it was too late.

Spike ripped the comforter off the bed and ran out the motel room. He saw Clint dozing at the front desk and decided to look for Buffy in the apartment. He kicked the door without preamble, calling her name as he entered the small dwelling.

Buffy came out of the bedroom simultaneously rubbing her eyes and trying to smooth down her hair. "Spike! What are doing here?"

"We have to get out of here," Spike said, taking hold of her arms. "Clint…he's not what you think."

"Spike, what are you going on about?"

"He's a demon, Buffy. A right big ugly one, too."

"Spike, have you been drinking again?"

"No!"

"You smell like you have."

Spike sighed. "Look, when I woke up this morning there were empty bottles in the room, and I think some of it got poured on me, too. But I didn't drink it. I came here last night, ran into your husband, he turned into a demon, and someone clunked me on the head from behind. I came straight to you as soon as I could."

"Look, Spike, I know you're jealous, but this is ridiculous."

"I'm not bloody jealous!" Buffy raised an eyebrow, and Spike sighed. "Okay, maybe I am, but that's not why I'm saying this. I know what happened last night, Buffy!"

Buffy pulled away from him, putting her hands on her hips. "Yeah, and so do I. You got upset when I turned you away at my work, you got drunk—again—and passed out. Somewhere during all that you either hallucinated or fabricated this whole thing about Clint being a demon."

"No! Buffy, I swear, that isn't what happened! I was here, last night. You…you have a desk in your bedroom. Cherry wood, with a stack of bills on the left side and a green pen sitting by the lamp. And your sheets are purple with flowers on 'em."

"Spike, all that proves is you're still a stalker. A creepy, creepy stalker."

"Buffy, please, you have to believe me!"

"What's going on in here?"

Spike groaned as he heard Clint barge in. "Just havin' a little chat with the missus," he told Clint through gritted teeth.

"Get out of my apartment now," Clint yelled.

"Clint, honey, Spike was just leaving—weren't you Spike?"

"Buffy…" Spike said, pleading with her with his eyes.

"Leave, Spike."

Spike slumped in defeat. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with Buffy this way. He needed proof. He wrapped back in the comforter and went back to his room.

"Did he just put a blanket over his head?" Clint asked.

"He's, um, hung-over," Buffy said. "Makes the sun too bright for his eyes."

Clint frowned. "Oh. Baby, what was he saying to you?"

"It was nothing. He just drank too much last night and got some crazy ideas in his head. He's not exactly what you'd call a stable individual."

"He didn't try to hurt ya, did he?"

"No. He was just being an idiot." Buffy bit her bottom lip. "Clint, was Spike in our apartment last night."

"I wasn't gonna say nothin'," Clint said with a sigh. "Didn't want you worryin' that pretty little head of yours. But yeah, caught him snoopin' last night. We had a few words, and then he left."

"What happened exactly?" Buffy asked.

Clint moved closer to her, tilting her head so he could look down into her eyes. "It was nothing. You don't want to know any more about it."

Buffy blinked. "Yeah, nothing. I don't want to know any more about it."

Clint kissed her forehead. "That's my girl. Now why don't you go on and get some more rest. These late nights workin' really take it outta you."

Buffy kissed him. "All right. I'll see you this afternoon?"

"You bet. Love you, babydoll."

"Love you, too."

*** *** ***

Please leave feedback and let me know what you think. I don't want to be writing all this for nothing!


 

Chapter 5:

Spike paced in his hotel room. Why didn't Buffy believe him? She was the Slayer, she was supposed to always be on the lookout for things like this. If anything, she should expect them. Seemed like nothing in her life came without a demon or two.

Spike sat on the edge of the bed, trying to piece together what was happening. It had to be some sort of spell, something that was making her accept what was around her without question. He needed to get her out of this town, away from whatever was affecting her like this. Then she'd be able to see things clearly again. Spike made up his mind. As soon as the sun set he was taking Buffy away no matter how much she fought him over it. It was for her own good, after all.

He frowned, trying to decide exactly how he was going to accomplish that task. All things considered, Buffy was still the Slayer. She was going to put up a fight. Spike knew one thing for sure, he was going to have to separate her from Clint. She'd be hard enough to deal with without adding her redneck demon husband to the mix.

Suddenly, Spike froze. He heard something rustling outside his door. He sniffed the air and frowned. Whatever it was, it wasn't human. He stood up, ready to fight. He heard a key click in the door, and the handle turned. The door flew open, and Spike jumped back to avoid the column of sunlight that came into the room.

Spike glared at the brunette woman who walked into the room, slamming the door behind her. "What do you want?"

"It's time for check out," she replied with a cruel smile.

"I'm not going anywhere without Buffy."

"The Slayer is not leaving with you."

"Is that a fact?" Spike came towards the brunette, reading for a punch. She grabbed his fist with inhuman speed, wrenching his arm behind his back. Spike yelled in pain and surprise, struggling to get free.

"As I said, the Slayer is not going anywhere with you," the brunette repeated, pushing Spike down to his knees. She changed suddenly, her appearance now like that of Clint's the night before. "You, however, are coming with me."

"I don't think so," Spike said through gritted teeth.

"I didn't ask you," the demon growled, hauling him to his feet. She drug Spike over to the bed, pushing it aside with one hand. Below it was a staircase leading down into darkness.

"Funny I didn't notice that…" Spike said.

The demon snarled at him. "Down."

"Um, how about no?" Spike struggled to get free, hitting the demon as hard as he could.

The blow barely registered. "You are a stupid creature, vampire." The demon grabbed Spike, throwing him hard against the wall. Spike slumped down, unconscious. The demon picked him up, threw him over her shoulder, and brought him down the stairs.

Another demon stood at the bottom. "You didn't kill the vampire?"

"No. We can use him. Keeping the Slayer here has drained too much of our power. He can strengthen us again." She threw Spike to the other demon. "Restrain him. We will perform the ritual at sunset."

"Yes, my mistress," the second demon said, carrying Spike away.

The first demon changed again into the brunette human woman, then walked back up the stairs.

xxx xxx xxx

Buffy woke up, looking over at the clock. 4:43. Buffy frowned. She'd slept a lot later than she normally did. She got out of bed, stretching her arms and yawning. She walked around the bed, heading for the bathroom when she stopped short, noticing something on the floor. She bent down, touching it lightly. It had dried, but there was no mistaking what it was. Blood.

Buffy felt a sudden wave of panic. Something was wrong here. Her Slayer instincts began screaming. Clint had told her that Spike had been there the night before. Had there been a fight? Was that what this blood was from? Buffy stood, dressing quickly. She had to figure out what had happened.

Clint was at the front desk. Buffy stood in front of it, her arms crossed. "Where's Spike?"

Clint looked up at her. "He left. He didn't tell you?"

Buffy looked up, the sun still bright in the sky. "He left? Now?"

"A couple of hours ago." Clint shrugged. "I guess he figured he couldn't compete with the love we have."

"Clint, Spike wouldn't leave now."

Clint looked up, locking his eyes with Buffy. "He left. He doesn't care about you at all."

"Spike left. He doesn't…" Buffy stopped, shaking her head. "Spike does care about me, Clint."

Clint got up, leaning closer to Buffy. "He does not care about you."

Buffy pulled back. "I have to go." Buffy ran out of the office.

"Buffy!" Clint called. When she didn't turn around, Clint picked up the phone, dialing a number quickly. "We have a situation. It's the Slayer."

xxx xxx xxx

Spike groaned, coming to slowly. He blinked, taking in his surroundings. It was dark, the only light coming from torches attached to the wall. There was a group of demons kneeling in one part of the room, chanting and bowing to the center of a circle.

"Things like this are never good," Spike mumbled, trying to move. He realized then that he was chained to the wall with bonds strong enough to keep him in place. "Bloody hell. Why does this always happen to me?"

"I see you've awakened, vampire."

Spike glared at the brunette woman in front of him. "Sod off."

She smiled sadistically. "Is that anyway to talk to someone who has your pathetic little unlife in the palm of her hand?"

"Seeing as your not holding any sharp, pointy pieces of wood, I'm not really all that afraid of you," Spike replied.

The woman laughed. "I'd take that as insolence if you weren't so foolish." She walked up to Spike, running her finger down his cheek. "Soon it will be more than a stake through the heart that can kill you. Too bad we won't be able to explore all the ways…"

Spike turned away from her touch. "Where's Buffy?"

"The Slayer is not your concern."

"She's always my concern."

"How…touching." The woman stepped back. "I hope you've seen all you planned to of this earth. You won't be on it for much longer."

Spike just glared at her as she walked away.

xxx xxx xxx

Buffy opened the door to Spike's room. She glanced around, almost immediately spying something black hanging over one of the chairs. "His coat," Buffy said out loud. Her mouth set in a grim line. Now she knew for sure he wasn't gone.

Buffy started to go back and demand Clint tell her what was really going on when she noticed something else. The bed was pulled slightly away from the wall and was at an angle. She pushed it aside, gasping when she saw the staircase below it. She took a deep breath and started towards it.

"Where are you goin', babydoll?"

Startled, Buffy turned around to face Clint. "What's going on here?"

"Nothin'. Now how about you just put the bed back, and we forget this whole thing?"

Buffy's mouth set in grim determination. "Where is Spike?"

"I told you he left. There ain't nothing else you need to know."

"You're lying. Tell me right now what's going on."

Clint went to Buffy, grabbing her by the arms and staring into her eyes. "There's nothing going on, Buffy. Let's just go back to our home."

Buffy shook her head. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Nothing. There's nothing going on at all. Let's go…"

Buffy pushed him away. "Where. Is. Spike?" she asked, carefully enunciating every word.

"Buffy…" Clint went for her again, but she reacted faster, punching him hard enough to knock him on his back. She straddled his waist, pulling him up roughly by the collar.

"Where is he, Clint. Tell me…now."

"I…he…um…"

"Why don't we just show her?"

Buffy turned around, blinking at the brunette woman now standing in front of the staircase. "Rebecca?"

"Not quite," she replied, assuming her demon form once again.

Buffy got to her feet, staring in horror. "Spike…he was telling the truth."

Clint stood, quickly reverting to his true self again. "Yes, he was."

Buffy glared. "What have you done with him?"

Rebecca walked slowly over to Buffy. "Nothing yet, Slayer. But soon, he will bring us strength enough to have you under our power again."

"If you hurt him, so help me, I will…"

"What will you do?" Clint asked, sneering at Buffy. "You gonna kill me, babydoll?"

Buffy looked at the creature she'd thought was her husband for almost a year with revulsion. "Don't think I won't."

"Grab her," Rebecca ordered. "Take her downstairs. We can make her one of us again."

Clint lunged for Buffy. She tried to evade him, but he grabbed her anyway, pinning her arms to her sides. "Don't worry," he whispered in her ear. "Soon everything will be fine, and you will be my happy wife again."

"I am not your wife."

Clint snarled as he started carrying Buffy down the stairs. "You will always be mine."

Buffy struggled futilely as Clint brought her down into the dark. Her eyes widened when she noticed one of the walls. "Spike!"

Spike looked up sharply. "Buffy!" He fought against his bonds, snarling at Clint. "You get your bloody hands off of her!"

Clint smirked. "Jealous, vampire?"

Spike's face changed as he growled, trying desperately to break free. Clint merely laughed as he brought Buffy over to a cage, locking her inside. "Don't worry, babydoll. Soon we'll have more power, and we can make you feel like you belong again."

Buffy pulled at the bars of the cage. "Let me out of here so I can kill you," she said sweetly.

"Sedate her," Rebecca ordered. "I don't want to have to hear her rambling before it's time to place her under our control again."

Another demon approached Buffy, grabbing her arm through the bars and injecting a blue liquid into her with syringe. Buffy tried to struggle, but she felt the effects almost immediately, slumping into the corner of the cage.

"Buffy!" Spike yelled, trying again to break loose.

Rebecca laughed. "You have much more to worry about than the Slayer, vampire. Soon it will be sunset, and you will be no more."

"Whatever you do to me, it doesn't matter. Buffy will kill you. And she'll make it hurt."

Clint sneered, approaching Spike and leaning into his face. "Not if she loves me."

Spike spit, hitting Clint squarely in the eye. Clint roared, hitting Spike hard enough to throw him back against the wall he was chained to.

"Now, now," Rebecca said, placing her hand on Clint's shoulder. "It is not the time for playing. We need all his strength."

Clint stepped back, wiping his eye. He glared at Spike one more time before he and Rebecca went back up the stairs.

Spike slumped in his chains, searching his mind desperately for a way out of this mess.

xxx xxx xxx

"The sun has set, vampire."

Spike glared at the demon beside him. "I think you got things a bit backwards there. For us vampires, the sun setting is a good thing."

The demon grinned. "Not for you. Not tonight."

Another demon, wearing a long cloak approached Spike, brandishing a large knife. "Hey, put that away," Spike said nervously, fighting desperately to break his chains.

The demon said nothing, simply taking the knife and slashing Spike across the chest, letting the vampire's blood drip onto the blade. Spike hissed in pain. The demon then went to the circle where another group was still chanting, holding the knife in the air and letting the drops of blood fall down to the ground. He chanted in a language Spike didn't recognize, then finished with one sentence he did:

"Let that which powers him now power us."

A dark cloud flew from the circle to Spike and engulfed him.

xxx xxx xxx

Buffy woke to the sound of inhuman screams of pain.

Any bit of grogginess she was feeling went away the moment she realized the screams were coming from Spike.

Buffy snapped to attention, watching for a moment in horror as some thing seemed to be pulling at Spike, bringing with it what appeared to be a light coming from inside him. Quickly she reached outside the cage, snapping off the lock and then kicking the door open. The demons didn't notice her, all of them too distracted with whatever it was they were doing to Spike. Buffy saw that the force that was hurting Spike was coming from a circle in the middle of the room. She wished she had Willow there to tell her what sort of magicks were in use, but she figured she'd just have to wing it. Spike didn't look like he had much left in him.

Buffy ran to the circle, knocking over the demon that stood in the center. He fell into two of the demons forming the circle, the knife slipping from his grip. As the circle broke, Spike let out one last yell, and the force assaulting him faded into nothingness. Buffy started to go to him but was stopped by a demon that stepped in front of her. The demon suddenly changed, and Buffy found herself face to face with Clint.

"Where ya goin', babydoll?"

"Get away from me," Buffy said.

"What's the hurry?" Clint smiled at her, looking down into her eyes. "None of this is real, baby. You're just dreamin'."

"The only thing not real here is the life I've been living for the past year. Get away from me before I kill you."

Clint stroked her cheek. "You don't want to kill me. You love me."

"I do not love you. I'm taking Spike, and we're leaving."

"Buffy, please…you love me, babydoll."

"You disgust me."

Clint sneered. "If that's the way you feel about it…" He turned back to his demon form, lunging at Buffy.

Buffy jumped out of the way. She saw the knife that had cut Spike earlier laying on the ground and rolled for it. When Clint came at her again, she thrust, plunging it deep in his stomach. He looked at her in surprise, returning to his human form for one last gasp of breath. Buffy pulled the knife out, and Clint slumped dead to the ground, a demon again. Buffy stared at his lifeless body for a moment, swallowing hard.

The demons who had earlier been in the circle rushed Buffy then, and she lashed out, fighting with a blind fury against those that had taken away a year of her life. She hated them all for tricking her, for making her believe she'd found what she'd been searching for for so long. Obviously not the members of the group that usually engaged in combat, they fought weakly, but Buffy showed them no mercy. She didn't stop until they were all dead.

"Very good, Buffy. I guess the stories I've heard of the greatest of Slayers weren't false after all."

Buffy turned to see Rebecca standing beside Spike, her long brown hair falling around her shoulders. Spike stirred, groaning slightly. "Let him go."

Rebecca pouted. "But Buffy, you didn't let us finish…"

Buffy pointed the knife at Rebecca. "And I'm not planning to. Unchain him now, and I might consider letting you live."

"Buffy, darling, I can see the lie in your eyes. But still, if you want him down that badly…" Rebecca pulled a key from her pocket and released Spike from his manacles. He slumped to the ground, hitting the stone floor hard. Rebecca smirked, kicking him hard in the side.

"Stop it," Buffy ordered.

"Oh, but it's fun. He's so…fragile now."

Buffy lunged at Rebecca, pinning her to the wall with the knife at her throat. "What have you been doing here? What did you do to me?"

"What did I do to you? You were the one who ruined everything, you stupid little bitch," Rebecca snapped. All we wanted to was to live a calm life here, and you had to show up with your petty desires to destroy all the demons."

Buffy blinked, the real reason behind her original arrival in Texas coming back to her. "You were performing ritual human sacrifices."

Rebecca shrugged as best she could in her current position. "It's what we do."

"Not anymore." Buffy brought the blade down then stepped back as the now-decapitated demon fell to the ground. She stepped over the body and ran to Spike, shaking him gently. "Spike?"

Spike groaned. "Buffy…I feel…not right…"

"They did something to you," Buffy said, smoothing his hair back. "But I stopped it. You'll be okay."

Spike gave her a weak smile. "Thanks, pet."

"Can you stand at all?"

"I…I think so… You're gonna have to help me walk."

"I can do that," Buffy said, guiding Spike to and up the stairs.

As they got back into the hotel room, Spike started shaking. Buffy frowned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm…I'm cold…" Spike managed.

"Cold?" Buffy asked in surprise.

Spike nodded. Buffy frowned again, wondering what exactly they had done to him. She grabbed his duster and helped him put it on. "That better?"

Spike pulled it closed around him. "Yeah…"

"Come on, let's get to my car. We have to get out of here."

Spike looked at her askew. "You can drive?"

Buffy chuckled. "Yeah. I learned a couple of years ago."

"Wonders never cease."

Buffy smirked, leading him to the car. She opened the door to the backseat, helping Spike in. He lay down, wincing a little. "Are you going to be okay?" Buffy asked.

Spike nodded, closing his eyes. "I just need to rest a bit. Get us out of here, pet. I'll be fine."

Buffy closed the door and got in on the driver's side. She started the engine and drove away as quickly as she could.

xxx xxx xxx

When it started nearing daylight, Buffy looked for a place to stop. She didn't have anything to cover her car windows with, and she didn't want to have a pile of Spike ashes in her backseat.

She got off the highway at the next exit then pulled into the parking lot of the first motel she saw. Spike opened his eyes. "Where are we?"

"New Mexico, I think. I've just been driving, haven't been paying much attention. I'm going to go in here and get us a room before the sun comes up."

"Good idea."

Buffy got out of the car. "Be right back," she said before closing the door.

True to her word, Buffy was back a few minutes later. She helped Spike out of the car and to his feet. "Come on. Let's get going before that sun decides to rise." Spike nodded, letting Buffy help him to the room she'd rented. She brought him inside. "The bed's over here. You still need to rest."

Spike didn't move. His body was rigid, and he stared ahead of him. "Buffy, look…" he said, pointing.

Buffy looked across the hotel room to the sink area on the other side. "What, I…" Buffy stopped, her mouth dropping. "Spike, it's…it's your reflection."

Spike stepped away from Buffy, walking slowly over to the mirror. He touched it tentatively, as if checking to see if it was real or if it would fade away in front of him. Buffy came up behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Spike, what's going on?"

"I don't know…I…" Spike reached up, placing his hand over his chest. His eyes grew wide, and he grabbed Buffy's hand, putting it where his had been a moment before. Buffy's face gained the same look of incredulity that Spike's had.

"You're heart…it's beating," Buffy said softly.

"I know."

"Are you…alive?"

Spike stared forward at his reflection. "I don't know." He stumbled a little, bracing himself on the sink. "I don't feel right, Buffy. I need sleep."

Buffy felt tears forming in her eyes. "But Spike, if you're alive, then…"

Spike cut her off by walking away. "I just want to sleep." He went to one of the two double beds in the room, lying down on his back. Buffy went over to him, but he rolled away, facing the wall.

Buffy switched off the light and silently got in the other bed.

xxx xxx xxx

What do you think? Let me know what you thought of that little plot twist…

 

Chapter 6:

When Buffy woke the next morning, Spike was gone. Her initial response was panic, a hundred terrible thing that could've happened to him running through her head. She forced herself to calm down, getting out of the bed and walking outside the motel room.

She found Spike sitting on the curb, staring up at the blue sky. She paused at the sight of him covered in sunlight. "No flames, I see," she said after a moment.

Spike jumped, then turned around. "No. But I think I'm a little burnt." He gestured to a slightly red arm.

Buffy frowned. "How long have you been out here?"

"Not long. I guess it's just been so long since my skin's seen the sun…" He looked away from her, staring down at the asphalt beneath his feet.

"Come back inside, Spike. You're pretty red as it is, and trust me, a bad sunburn is not a pleasant thing."

"William."

"Huh?"

"William. I'm William."

"Spike, what…"

Spike turned to look at her again, his eyes narrow slits. "I told you, it's William. Stop bleedin' calling me Spike!"

Buffy blinked. "Okay, William… What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you daft?"

"But you're human now. That's good, right?"

"Honestly? I don't know."

"Spi…er, William, come on inside, okay? You're toasted enough as it is."

William stood. "If it'll get you off my case, fine."

Buffy was a bit surprised at how much his harsh tone stung. "I was only trying to be helpful."

"Well, you've helped enough."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you should've just let whatever that was finish me off."

"But then you'd be gone completely! Being human might take some getting used to, but at least you're still here."

William gave her a snide look. "And let me guess, you're not ready for me not to be here yet."

Buffy didn't like the way he threw the words she'd used so long ago back in her face. "Why are you doing this to me? I'm trying to be as supportive as I can."

"Oh, there's a first."

"Dammit, I am so not in the mood for this," Buffy snapped. "I've spent the past year under some freaky demon brainwash that kept me away from everyone I care about. I do not need you throwing a fit on top of it."

"Throwing a fit? Is that what you think I'm doing? Bloody hell, Slayer, I've just been through a rather unpleasant life-changing experience here. I'm sorry if I can't just suck it up and help you through your problems until you're tired of me again."

"I didn't ask you for any help."

"Good, because I'm not going to give it." William sighed. "Look, there's really no point in us hanging around each other anymore. Why don't you just call whoever can come and get you, and then I'll just leave you be like you asked me to five years ago."

"You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Spike…" She sighed heavily at the look he gave her. "William, something made you human. We don't know what exactly, and we don't know how stable it is. The Watchers Council can take a look at you and…"

"Oh, who? Andrew? I don't fancy your little friends pokin' an proddin' me any, all right. I'd rather just go my own way."

Buffy placed her hands on her hips. "No."

"No? You can't tell me what to do."

"I can make you stay."

"And how exactly do you plan to do that?"

Buffy grabbed William by the arm, dragging him back inside the motel. "Like this."

"Get off me, Slayer," William snapped, pushing her away. Buffy flew backwards, landing on her back in the parking lot. William looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry…I didn't realize I was still that strong."

Buffy stood, rubbing her sore back. "Apparently, you're not as human as it looks." Her brows knitted in worry. "You need to come back with me. We don't know what happened to you."

As much as he hated to admit it, William knew she was right. "Fine. But as soon as we figure it out, I'm gone again."

"Fair enough."

William walked behind Buffy into the room, sitting down on the bed. Buffy started towards the phone when she heard him speak softly.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Buffy turned, looking at him. "What do you mean?"

William looked up, and the helpless expression on his face tugged at her heart. "I don't remember how to be human, Buffy. In the past five years, I guess I got used to the whole souled vampire bit." He swallowed. "Remember when you said that I couldn't be a human and I couldn't be a vampire?"

Buffy blushed a little, remembering exactly which night it had been that she had said that. "Yeah."

"Well, vampire with a soul I could do. There's only one other one, so I wasn't really supposed to fit any sort of mold, y'know? And I could have that spark of humanity, but not really have to be human. After I got used to it, it just made sense."

Buffy sat down beside him. "But you wanted to be human again. You told me. Back in LA, you told me about the Shanshu prophecy, and how you wanted it to be about you and not Angel."

"That was then." William sighed. "I didn't really want to be human, Buffy. I wanted to take what Angel wanted. And I wanted you."

"And now?"

"Just make your phone calls," William replied, turning away from her.

Buffy decided not to push him anymore. She went to the phone, dialing a number she knew from memory.

"Giles, it's Buffy."

*** *** ***

"Buffy! I thought you'd never talk to me again!"

Buffy hugged her younger sister tightly. "Nothing could keep me away from you forever, Dawn."

"Not even brainwashing demon cults?"

Buffy smirked. "Nope, not even that."

"Hey, nibblet. You've grown."

Dawn looked up, a huge grin spreading across her face. She ran to Spike, embracing him almost as tightly as she did her sister. "Didn't expect to ever see you again either, Spike," she said softly.

"Guess I'm like one of those annoying house guests you just can't ever get rid of. And it's William now."

Dawn pulled away. "Giles said that Buffy told him you're human now."

William shrugged. "More or less. We've figured out that I'm still stronger than the average bloke, and my senses, while not as acute as they were, aren't as dull as they could be either. But I'm reflective, sun-proof, and no longer require blood to live." He frowned. "Well, other than that pumping in my veins as we speak that is."

Dawn smiled. "That's great. You can live a totally normal life now."

"Yeah, totally normal. Listen, bit, your sis and I have to meet with Giles and some of the new Watchers and figure out what happened to me. Catch up later?"

"You bet." She hugged him again. "It's so good to see you again."

"You, too."

"I'll come by and talk to you later, too," Buffy said to her sister. "Despite all the creepy demonic brainwashing, I did miss you."

Dawn chuckled. "Good to know."

Buffy gave her sister one more hug before leading William to the Watchers.

*** *** ***

"Could you describe this ritual again? With more detail perhaps?"

William sighed heavily. "Sorry, Rupert, but with all the being chained to the wall and having my demon ripped out of me, I didn't tend to file much away for later use."

"I saw a little," Buffy said, trying to get the attention away from William. She could tell from the look in his eyes that all this attention from the Watchers was really just making him want to bolt. "The demons were in a circle, with one on the center. He had the knife with Spike's blood, and he was letting it drip to the ground. When I broke the circle, whatever was happening to Spike stopped."

"Did you hear anything that they said?" Giles asked.

Buffy shook her head. "I was knocked out for most of it."

"I heard one thing," William said quietly. "Let that which powers him, power us."

Giles took off his glasses, rubbing them with a handkerchief. "And you say you retained your strength and enhanced senses?"

"Some of it, yeah."

Giles placed his glasses back on his nose. "This is a good start. The Council and I will do research, try to determine what was done to you."

"And reverse it?"

Giles took off his glasses again, looking at William with surprise. "You wish to become a vampire again?"

"I want to be what I was."

"The Council is not in the habit of creating more vampires," one of the other Watchers replied.

William glared at him. "I'm not in the habit of sitting around with a bunch of Council wankers, but I'm making an exception."

Buffy could see Giles about to comment and decided to preempt any further argument. "William and I have both been through a lot these past few days. Why don't we just call it a day, and you can start on that research?"

"I trust you can show Spike to one of the guest rooms?" Giles asked.

Buffy noticed the way William bristled at Giles's use of his other name. She didn't understand why being called Spike suddenly bothered him so much, but she decided to placate him rather than argue the point. "Yes, I can show William to one of the guest rooms." Buffy could tell by the way that Giles resumed his lens cleaning that he had gotten her point. She placed her hand on William's arm. "Let's go."

William pulled away from her. "Okay."

*** *** ***

William sighed when he heard the knock at his door. He wasn't in the mood for company, but after several increasingly louder knocks, he figured whoever it was wasn't going away. He opened the door, relieved to find it wasn't one of the Watchers. "Hey, nibblet."

"Hiya, William. You mind if I come in for a bit?"

William shrugged. "Might as well. Not like I have much else to do."

Dawn walked in, sitting on the couch on the far side of the room. "Looks like they set you up in one of the nicer guest suites."

William shrugged. "Beats the places I've been staying in. So why are you hear instead of with your sister? You haven't seen her in a year."

"And I haven't seen you in five." Dawn patted the spot beside her on the couch. "Come on. Sit down and tell me all the exciting things you've done since LA."

William sat. "Not much to tell, really. Just wandered a lot, trying to find a place where maybe I could settle for a while."

"And yet you ended up back here with us."

"I'm not staying here, bit. This is just until the Wanker Council figures out what happened to me."

"You know, the Watchers aren't so bad anymore. Giles has worked hard to keep the same problems the last Council had from resurfacing. I'm studying to be one."

William looked at her askew. "You? I figured you could do something more with your life than be a bleedin' Watcher."

"But it's what I want."

"And I guess it makes big sis happy."

"Buffy knows we need all the Watchers we can get, especially since the Chosen One has become the Chosen Army…"

"How many Slayers do you have running around these days?"

Dawn shrugged. "We have a couple hundred here, but there's others around. Some are stationed in specific areas around the world, and some girls chose to just stay home, try to lead a normal life. Buffy wanted to give them that option. She doesn't want anyone to ever be saddled with the weight of the world again, the way she was."

"Yeah, I remember hearing a lot of her complaining about that."

The were silent for a moment before Dawn spoke again. "So what about you? How are you liking the whole human thing?"

"I'm not."

Dawn looked at him with surprise. "Why not? Having problems dealing with the prospect of mortality?"

"Not really. I've died twice. It's not so bad. It's just…" William sighed. "It's nothing."

"No, it's something. What is it, Spike?"

"Please, nibblet, don't call me that."

"Buffy said you didn't want anyone calling you Spike anymore," Dawn said with a frown. "Why? Is it because you feel guilty about torturing people with railroad spikes and don't want to be reminded?"

William chuckled. "Actually, no. The bloke I did that to had it coming anyway." He smirked. "No, it's just, well, I'm not Spike anymore."

"You look like Spike."

"Yeah. Maybe I should lay off the peroxide."

"No! I mean, um, your hair's really cool. You should totally keep it."

"Well, if it makes you happy…"

Dawn could tell he was trying to change the subject. "But what did you mean when you said you weren't Spike anymore?"

"I don't know, it's just, well, Spike was who I became after I was turned. Now that I'm not a vampire anymore, I'm just plain old boring William."

"You are so not boring," Dawn said. "And even if you're not a vampire anymore, you're still not the man you were before you were turned. I mean, you have over a century more of experience."

"You didn't know William. He…I…I was pathetic."

"You don't have to be who you used to be. All you can be is who you are right now." Dawn gave him a small smile. "You don't see me trying to stick myself into locks these days, do you?" That got her a laugh from him, which is what she had hoped for. "But seriously, you don't have to be that William. And…and you don't have to be Spike either if you don't want to be. Just give it time. You'll find who you are now."

"Where did you get so insightful, bit?"

"College, I think."

William gave her a smile. "I'll think about it. I've got a lot going through my mind right now."

"Understandable." Dawn stood up. "I have to go. I'm supposed to meeting with Giles in a few. Just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Can you do me a favor later?"

"Depends. What is it?"

"Go talk to Buffy. She's worried about you, but she isn't sure if you want to see her. She thinks you're upset with her."

"I'm not upset with her, I'm just…" William stopped, unsure of what it was he was feeling. "If you see her tell her she can come by and talk to me if she wants. I don't really fancy wandering around this place. Might run into someone irritating."

"Andrew keeps looking for you."

"Case in point."

Dawn giggled. Then she walked over to William, hugging him tightly. "You'll be okay, Will.
And talk to Buffy. She's missed you, you know."

"Yeah, she tends to say things like that sometimes."

"William, Buffy…"

William held his hand up. "Don't. Your sister and I, we're complicated. It's one of those things you can't really understand unless you're in it, and even then it's confusing."

Dawn nodded. "I understand. I have to get going before Giles gets all twitchy. I'll see you later."

William ruffled her hair. "See you, bit."

*** *** ***

Buffy stood outside William's door, her hand poised to knock. She dropped it again, sighing. She wanted to see Spike, but at the same time, she had no idea what to say to him. So much had changed in the past five years, for her and, obviously, for him as well. They couldn't go back to what they had been, and Buffy wasn't even sure if she wanted to. She was too old, too tired to start those games over again.

Suddenly, the door flew open, bringing Buffy back to the present. "Are you going to stand there all bloody day? I could hear you fidgeting, and it was driving me up the wall."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said. "Can I come in?"

"Might as well."

Buffy stood nervously in the room, not sure of what to do. She'd never felt this unsettled around Spike before. Even during their less than healthy relationship, she'd known basically what to expect from him. Now, when she looked at him, it was almost as if he was a stranger. "How are you feeling?"

"Not dead."

"You're the only person I've ever talked to who makes that sound like a bad thing."

William chuckled. "For me, I guess it is. There's so much about being human I'd forgotten."

"Like what?"

"Just the little things that make you alive."

Buffy realized then what made him look so different to him. He looked lost. None of the cocky self-assuredness she'd come to associate with Spike. He hadn't looked like this since she found him in the basement of the high school, trying to claw his new soul out. "Hey, it's getting sort of late in the day. Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Buffy Anne Summers, are you asking me out on a date?" His tone was teasing, but Buffy could see the nervousness written all over his face.

"Just a couple of old friends catching up over dinner," Buffy said with a smile. "Come on. I know a place that has those fried onion things."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to bribe me."

"Maybe I am."

"Well, if you are, it's working."

"So are you ready to go then?"

"Yeah. Not like I have an unlimited amount of time to wait around these days."

Buffy just nodded, not wanting to push that subject. "Let's go then."

*** *** ***

William held a fried onion petal in his hand, studying it. "You know, I haven't really thought about food in a long time. I mean, there were things I liked to eat, but I didn't need them. It wasn't like if I went any length of time without real food I was going to starve. But now, eating isn't just for pleasure anymore. I have to." He popped the onion in his mouth.

"Does it take the fun out of it?" Buffy asked.

William swallowed. "No. Actually, food tastes better now. I mean, I thought these things were good before, but wow. I was missing out on at least half of the flavor."

"I know it was a totally different situation, but I remember what it was like, when I was first alive again. I didn't want to be. Even in that short period of time, it was like I'd gotten used to being dead, and then suddenly, I was part of the world of the living again. It felt wrong, like I didn't know how to live anymore. But then I realized life just is what it is." She gave him a warm smile, echoing the words he'd sung to her years before. "It's living."

William smirked. "Easier said than done, pet."

Buffy could see that he was still unsure of himself, but around just her, he was starting to relax. She smiled, hoping that he could soon snap out of the funk he'd slipped into when he'd become human again. Despite everything that had gone on between them over the years, the last thing she really wanted was for him to be unhappy. "There's so many things you can do now that you never would've had a chance to do before," she pointed out.

"Like what?"

Buffy's brow knitted as she tried to think of something. "Well, you can probably father children now."

William's face managed to grow a shade paler. "Bloody wonderful. Really, Buffy, can you imagine little mes running around? I don't think the world could handle it."

Buffy laughed at the sudden image of bleach blond toddlers in leather coats that popped into her mind. "Maybe they'll have a mother with strong enough DNA to cancel you out."

"Gee, thanks."

"But seriously, you can go in the sunlight, walk into people's homes completely uninvited—hell, you could start breaking into people's houses in the middle of the afternoon now."

William looked at her for a moment before laughing. "And I could always take up fence building now. No more fear of tripping and staking myself."

"See! There ya go. A million opportunities are opening up for you."

William reached across the table, squeezing her hand. "Thank you, Buffy."

"For what?"

"For trying."

"Is it working?"

"Not really, but I do appreciate it."

Buffy stroked his hand with her thumb. "Your skin is warm, and I can feel your pulse," she said, her voice almost a whisper.

"It's still all so strange to me. At times I have to remind myself that I really do need to keep breathing."

"You can do this, you know. It'll take some getting used to, but you will. And you're welcome to stay here as long as you need to until you sort everything out."

"Thanks for the offer, kitten, but I think I'd like to leave sooner rather than later."

"You keep saying that, but where are you going to go?"

"I've lived without your help just fine for years."

"But you're not a vampire anymore. You can't live the way you used to."

"No, now I don't have to worry about being in before daybreak."

Buffy pulled her hand away from his. "I'm serious. We really don't know anything about what happened to you. For all we know, you could start deteriorating or something."

"Well, thanks for that happy image. But I didn't say I was leaving now. I can stick around until I have a more solid picture of what those wankers did to me. But after that, there's no reason for me to be here. I've done my part for the whole Slayer Army thing."

"But we could use you around," Buffy said. "You're a good fighter, and you've proven yourself useful time and time again."

"Funny, five years ago you couldn't wait to get rid of me."

"I was wrong."

"What? Run that one by me again, Slayer, because I could've sworn you just said you were wrong about something."

"No need to be a jerk about it," Buffy muttered. "Yes, I was wrong. Everything was just so emotional then, it was a mess. Being around you confuses me, throws my life completely out of balance. I thought it would be easier if we went our separate ways."

"But it wasn't?" William asked hesitantly.

"No. I…I missed you. A lot. In some ways it was even worse than when I thought I lost you in the Hellmouth. I knew you were somewhere, but I couldn't get to you. And I knew that I'd pushed you away."

"You abandoned me," William said, his voice hard, but tinged with pain. "You threw away any chance we had and just walked away. And you couldn't even tell me yourself. You had Angel tell me you were gone and not to come after you. Angel! Do you know how badly that hurt, girl?"

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I thought it would be better."

"Being without you is never better. Yeah, it hurts like hell being with you, but I'd rather ache in your arms than ache alone."

Buffy looked up at him, her eyes wide and slightly damp. "And yet you want to leave again."

"Do you love me, Buffy? Did you ever love me?"

"Spike…William, you were in my heart, are in my heart, and you always will be, it's just that…"

William held up his hand. "Don't. That's answer enough."

Buffy stared down at her plate. She'd meant to have a nice dinner with an old friend, maybe cheer him up a little. She should've known with the two of them, that would never be possible.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence.

*** *** ***

Buffy and William stood outside the large manor where the new Watchers Council had their central headquarters. They'd barely said anything to each other since they'd left the restaurant, and now neither one knew what to do.

"I guess we should just go in…" Buffy said, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yeah, I guess."

Buffy wasn't sure what made her do what she did next. She reached up, kissing William gently on the cheek. When she pulled away, he looked at her, clearly surprised. "Buffy…"

Buffy could almost still feel his skin against her lips. He'd never been warm to the touch before. Suddenly, she wanted to know what it was like to kiss his lips, to feel his breath mingle with hers. Unable to push down her curiosity, Buffy kissed him, her lips hard and desperate against his. William hesitated only for a second before wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her flush against him.

Buffy knew she was repeating her same mistakes with him all over again, but at the moment she didn't care. Her body remembered everything he'd ever done to her, and she found herself craving it. "I want you," she whispered into his ear.

Buffy could feel William shiver at her words. "I want you, too. I always want you, Slayer…" William bent down, kissing and licking right below her ear, and any cautionary thoughts Buffy still had went out the proverbial window.

"Let's go inside."

William nodded, forcing himself to pull away from Buffy long enough for her to open the door. He wasn't sure where tonight was going to lead or even why she was suddenly throwing herself at him, but he didn't want to analyze it. Where Buffy was concerned, he found he was never quite able to say no. "Where to, pet?" William asked once they were inside.

"Your room. I'm in one of the cottages outside the main building, and I really don't think I can make it that far." Buffy wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her again. She kissed him hard, and William wondered if he'd even be able to make it as far as up the stairs.

Buffy pulled away, her breath coming in short pants. "Let's get up there before anyone sees us."

William nodded. Buffy had always been one for secrecy where their relationship was concerned, and he hadn't expected her to have changed any now. He walked up the stairs with Buffy close behind him. As soon as they were in his room and the door was shut and locked, Buffy was on him again, tearing at his clothes in near-desperation. William felt himself grow nervous, and he couldn't quite place his finger on why. Then, it came to him.

He pushed Buffy back a little, but kept his hand resting gently on her arm, letting her know he wasn't stopping things. "I've never…I've never done this as a human," he admitted.

Buffy's eyes widened. "Seriously? I mean, before you were turned you never…"

He shook his head. "No. I wasn't exactly popular with the ladies, so to speak."

Buffy reached up, running her hands through his hair. "So in a way, this is almost like your first time."

William chuckled. "Something like that."

Buffy winked. "I'll be gentle."

William grabbed her around the waist, pulling her hard against him. "Don't you dare." He kissed her roughly again, his nervousness fading as he was bombarded with her soft scent and the feel of having her in his arms again. This is what he dreamt of every night, what he yearned for. Even if he was sure she'd run off as soon as it was over, William didn't care. He still wanted her as much as he ever had.

Buffy backed away slowly towards the bed, unbuttoning her shirt as she went. William watched, his breathing growing ragged. He could feel his skin warming, his heart beating heavier in his chest. Buffy dropped her shirt to the ground as she reached the end of the bed, then bent down, removing her shoes before standing straight again, her hair flipping as she did. She unbuttoned her pants and slipped slowly out of them. William felt his mouth grow suddenly dry just as his palms dampened. His body was reacting in ways it never had before in all the years he'd lived as a dead man.

Buffy lay back on the bed, dressed in nothing but a white lace bra and a matching thong. Though it had been five years since he'd last seen her like this, William thought she looked as beautiful as ever. She propped herself up on her elbows, giving him a seductive look. "Aren't you going to join me?"

William smirked at her, running his tongue behind his teeth. He pulled his own shirt off over his head, then walked to the bed like a cat stalking its prey, climbing up to her from the foot in the bed. He stopped at the apex of her legs, reverently pulling down her thong. He paused for a moment, taking her in with new, human eyes. He bent down, unable to keep from tasting her. Buffy moaned, digging her fingernails into his shoulder. He hissed, his body more aware of the pain of those shallow cuts than it ever had been before. He relished it, the intensity of everything he was experiencing making him feel more alive than he had since he'd first become human.

"Please…I need you inside me now."

William looked up, briefly examining the expression of torturous ecstasy on Buffy's face. He stood to remove his boots and jeans and felt suddenly cold, despite the raise in his own body temperature. His body rebelled against the loss of Buffy's heat.

As soon as he'd stripped, Buffy held her arms up to him, and William felt his heart beat faster. He moved quickly, wasting no time slipping into her arms or into her. Buffy cried out when he entered her, holding him against her tightly. William's eyes widened and he gasped, the pleasure that was assaulting him more exquisite than he'd ever felt before. His entire body was on fire, and all he could do was plunge into her over and over again.

William could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest, and he knew instinctively that it was beating in time with hers. His overheated body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, and he had trouble regulating his breathing. The feel, the taste of her was the most familiar thing in the world to him, and yet he was experiencing it all as if it were brand new. He heard Buffy's breath hitch, and then she cried out, gripping his shoulders with bruising force. William let himself go then, giving into the new sensations until they pulled him over the edge.

When it was over, he rolled with her, cradling her against his chest. Shakily, he kissed the top of her head as he tried to get his breathing to go back to normal. Buffy said nothing, just resting against his chest, staring forward.

"What are you thinking, pet?" he asked after a moment, fearing the worst kind of answer.

"I'm just listening to your heart beat," Buffy replied. "It was beating really fast, but it's slowing down now." William reached down and took her hand in his, and Buffy entwined their fingers. "Was it different for you this time?" she asked.

"Yeah. I thought it was good before, but…I really felt alive, Buffy."

"Well, you are."

"I know."

Buffy gave him a lazy smile. "Starting to think it's not so bad?"

"Maybe not," William replied with a smirk. He looked down into her eyes and felt his heart skip. He knew then that he still loved her just as much as he ever had. He fought back the urge to tell her, not wanting to spook her. She was in his arms now, and he wasn't going to ruin it. "There is one drawback, though," he said. "I'm tired now."

Buffy laughed. "I knew one of these days I'd wear you out."

"I guess I'll have to drink more milk, or eat more green veggies, or something."

Buffy smirked. "Possibly. But I'm okay with you being tired right now. I'm tired, too."

"Are you staying?"

"For now, yeah. I don't think my legs are working."

William frowned a little. He wanted her to tell him that yes, of course she was staying, because where else did she belong but in his arms? But he'd known Buffy long enough to know better. He reached down, pulling a sheet over the two of them. Buffy cuddled closer to him, a contented sigh escaping her lips. William ran his fingers through her hair, deciding to do what he'd always done with Buffy, and just be happy with what he had.

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