Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm just using the characters in an attempt to alleviate my boredom. The song used is "Mrs. Steven Rudy" by Mark McGuinn.

Rating: NC-17

Summary: When Buffy Summers finds her marriage going south, she turns to her next-door neighbor for comfort… (Spuffy; All-human AU)

Author's Note: Some of the scenes and dialogue used are modified versions of scenes from the series. The episodes directly quoted are as follows: "Into the Woods," "Triangle," "Crush," "Smashed," "Gone," "Dead Things," "As You Were," "Seeing Red" (not the "bathroom scene"), "Touched," and "Chosen." If I forgot to name one, sorry. Anything that is from the show, I'm not claiming as mine, I'm just using it because it fits. Credit for those scenes goes to the actual writers.

Feedback and Archiving: I accept most archiving requests, I just prefer it if I'm asked before the fic is posted. And although this may seem self-explanatory, please don't post on any website that allows the author to post his/her own fics, such as adultfanfiction.net or fanfiction.net. I've had problems with that in the past… Send all feedback and archiving requests to:  addie_logan@yahoo.com   

Personal Website: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan/buffy.html

The Bad Boy Next Door

By: Addie Logan

*** *** ***

I get up on Sunday, about eight-fifteen
Just to get the paper that I never read
'Cause I know she'll be there barely in her robe
Sittin' on her front porch paintin' on her toes
Her husband's always on the road

Hey, Mrs. Steven Rudy
You don't know what you do to me
Every night I dream one day of being with you
Hey, Mrs. Steven Rudy
You're the neighborhood beauty
And that wedding ring is as ugly as your husband is to you

Sometimes Mrs. Rudy calls cryin' late at night
'Cause her and Mr. Ugly have had another fight
We talk a while, and I hear her smile
When she says thank you, I tell her that she's welcome
Like any friend would do, I only wish she knew

Hey, Mrs. Steven Rudy
You don't know what you do to me
Every night I dream one day of being with you
Hey, Mrs. Steven Rudy
You're the neighborhood beauty
And that wedding ring is as ugly as your husband is to you

Imagination, infatuation
I'm what she deserves
I wonder if she thinks about me, the way I think about her

Hey, Mrs. Steven Rudy
You don't know what you do to me
Every night I dream one day of being with you
Hey, Mrs. Steven Rudy
You're the neighborhood beauty
And that wedding ring is as ugly as your husband is to you

*** *** ***

Spike knew he shouldn't be watching her like this. She had a husband. A rather large husband. With guns. And combat training.

Still, when she was parading around her front porch in a silk robe that barely hit mid-thigh, Spike didn't have much of a choice but to watch. With all that tan skin showing, and her honey-colored hair spilling down her back, she was mesmerizing. She looked up and waved at him, smiling. Her robe slipped slightly, and Spike could see just a little more flesh. Spike waved back. "Good morning, Mrs. Finn," he said, trying to remind himself that she was married more than anything else.

"Good morning, William," she called back, her smile still firmly in place. "How's the book coming along?"

"Great," Spike replied, not wanting to relate his tale of writer's block woe.

"Glad to hear it. I'll see you later!"

"See you," Spike replied, watching her go back into her house. He sighed, cursing her husband under his breath as he went back inside his own home. Granted, Spike barely knew the man, but somehow he figured he was too much of a corn-fed farmboy to know what to do with a woman like that. "Stupid git," Spike muttered, walking into his study.

Spike sat at his computer, staring at the blank screen. He could barely remember the last time he'd typed more than a sentence, and usually, that was immediately deleted. His publisher was beginning to get fed up, threatening to drop him if he didn't come up with something soon, success of his previous novel be damned. Spike groaned, resting his head in his hands. "Bloody buggering hell."

He got up and poured his first brandy of the day.

*** *** ***

"Can't someone else go in your place?"

Riley Finn looked up at his wife, his annoyance clear on his face. "Buffy, we talked about this when I took the job. I have to travel."

"But you just came back!"

"I've been home for three days."

"And for two of those you kept complaining about jet lag…"

Riley sighed heavily. "Buffy, I'm sorry, but I have to go. I need this job. Do you want to lose the house? The car? And what about the college fund we're starting for our future children?"

"I know, it's just… Riley, I was a military wife for three years. I thought when you got out that maybe we could actually see each other once in a while, but then you took this job, and you're gone almost as much as you were before!"

Riley walked over to Buffy, gently taking hold of her arms and resting his forehead against hers. "I know, baby. But I promise you, we'll spend some real time together soon."

"Promise?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

Buffy shook her head as Riley placed a soft kiss on top of it. "No."

"I love you, Buffy. I'll call you as soon as I get to the hotel, I promise."

"Okay. I love you, too, Riley."

Riley picked up his suitcase. "Be careful, baby. I'll be home soon."

Buffy nodded. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

Riley gave her a quick kiss before heading out the door.

Buffy tried to stop the tears, but they came anyway.

*** *** ***

Four hours since he'd first sat down, and the screen in front of him was just as blank as it had been when he'd started. Spike pushed away from the computer, deciding he needed to get a little fresh air and stretch his legs. Maybe then something would finally come to him.

He went out the backdoor, sitting on the concrete steps. He looked across the way to see Buffy, sitting on the steps of her own back porch, her head buried in her hands. She looked up after a moment, staring forward into nothingness, and Spike realized she was crying. He knew he shouldn't intrude, but he couldn't stop himself from getting up and walking over there, stepping over the short row of shrubbery that separated the two houses.

Spike stopped when he got to Buffy, suddenly not sure what to do. They'd barely had any more contact than their morning greetings, and now he found himself at a loss for words.

Buffy looked up, her streaked face making Spike want to lean down and kiss the tears away. "Can I help you?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from wavering.

"What's wrong?"

Buffy sniffled. "I don't want to talk about it."

Spike had figured as much. "Is there anything I can do?"

Buffy looked up at him, her expression one of surprised confusion. Neighbor or not, he was a virtual stranger, and here he was, asking if he could help her with her silly little emotional outburst. Not knowing what to say, she looked away, hoping he'd take the hint that she wanted to be alone.

Spike knew he should just turn around and leave, but he couldn't repress his urge to comfort her. He sat down beside her, awkwardly patting her back. Buffy bristled at the unfamiliar touch, and Spike pulled away. He still sat beside her, not sure of what his next move should be. When Buffy said nothing, he started to stand.

"I had an argument with my husband."

Spike froze, sitting back down. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, hoping Buffy couldn't tell just how much he was lying.

"He's always gone," Buffy said. "I mean, I know his job pays well, but I never see him." She started crying again, burying her face in her hands.

Spike reached out, rubbing her back again. Riley was more of a stupid git than he'd originally assumed. Who left a woman like this home alone all the time? "I'm sure he just wants what's best for the both of you," Spike said lamely.

"I know, I just get…lonely…" Buffy wiped her eyes. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"Maybe because I'm listening?"

Buffy smiled a little. "Maybe."

"You know, if you ever get lonely, you can come over to my place." Buffy looked at him in shock, and Spike realized how she'd taken his invitation. "To talk, I mean," he added quickly.

Buffy turned bright red embarrassed by her quick assumption as to his meaning. "I'll…I'll keep that in mind." She stood. "I should really get back in. I have…things to do."

Spike stood as well. "Right. Um, let me know if you ever need anything…neighborly, that is."

"I will," Buffy said, going towards her door. "Thanks."

"Good going," Spike muttered to himself once Buffy was gone. "Now she probably thinks you're a complete ponce." He walked back to his house, grumbling all the way.

*** *** ***

When Spike woke up the next morning, it took him a moment to realize that the pounding he was hearing was not regulated to his brain alone. He looked over at the clock and cursed, wondering who would be bothering him at five o'clock in the morning. His recent trips to the front porch in order to see Buffy in her robe notwithstanding, Spike was not a morning person. And everyone who knew him was well aware of it.

The knocking didn't stop. Spike rolled out of bed, grabbing the first pair of jeans he saw and slipping them on. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" he informed whoever was knocking, before adding under his breath, "Hold your bloody horses." Spike was fully prepared to snap at his early morning visitor, but stopped short when he realized it was Buffy. He rubbed his face, suddenly wishing he was a little more presentable. "Mrs. Finn? Is everything all right?"

Buffy stared blankly for a moment. Being a woman who was still currently breathing, she had of course noticed her neighbor was attractive, but this… His normally slicked-back platinum blond hair was now in tussled curls on his head, making her fingers ache to run through it. He was wearing nothing but the tightest pair of black jeans she had ever seen, allowing her a perfect view of his sculptured chest. "I…I…um…"

Spike smirked at her reaction. Maybe he was presentable enough after all. "Did you need something?"

Need something? His words penetrated Buffy's suddenly foggy brain. Yes, she needed something. She needed… Buffy shook her head. "My car won't start."

"Your car?"

"Yeah. Geez, I feel like such a girly girl, but I have no idea what to do, and I'm supposed to take my sister to the airport this morning. Riley usually takes care of these things, but he's not home, and I figured, well, you're a man, and men know about cars, and…" Buffy stopped, realizing she was babbling.

"Hold on just a moment, pet," Spike said. "I'll put some more clothes on and be over in a second."

Buffy just nodded as she stepped back, her mouth completely dry. Pet? As much as she knew she shouldn't, she liked that… And why was he putting on more clothes? Buffy mentally scolded herself as she realized that fully dressed neighbor really was better than half-naked neighbor, no matter how sexy he was.

"Would you like to come in?" Spike asked. "I'll only be a moment."

Buffy nodded again. She had to admit, she was curious to see the inside of his house. Spike stepped back, letting her come inside. Buffy surveyed the room with her eyes, somewhat surprised to see it was fairly clean. He could probably stand to dust more often, but he didn't have the clutter all around that she usually associated with single men. Granted, she hadn't seen the rest of his house. Maybe he just kept the living room up for appearances.

"I'll be right out," Spike told her, slipping out of the room.

Buffy took her moment alone to study his living room more closely. It was decorated simply, with two leather chairs and a leather sofa. He had a nice sized television, and a small end table between the couch and one of the chairs. On it was the remote control and a single picture in a plain silver frame. Buffy picked it up, seeing that it was of a much younger William standing beside an older woman, his arm around her. They were both smiling.

"That's my mum. She died a while ago, before I left England."

Buffy jumped, putting the picture down quickly. "I was just…"

Spike smiled at her. "It's all right."

"I lost my mom, too," Buffy said softly. "A little before I married Riley."

Spike met her eyes, and for a moment, he felt a connection with her. Buffy was the first to look away. "So, want me to take a look at your car?"

Buffy looked up. "Yes, please."

Spike gave her his sexiest smirk. "Well then, Mrs. Finn, let's see if I can go get your motor running."

*** *** ***

Spike glared at Buffy's thoroughly dead car battery. After fifteen minutes, he'd come to the conclusion that it was entirely bereft of life. He wiped his hands off on a rag, looking over at Buffy. "You need a new battery."

"Now? But I'm late to get Dawn as it is…"

"I can take you to pick your sister up," Spike offered. "And bring you to get a new battery, too, on the way back from the airport, if you want."

Buffy looked up at him, appreciation shining in her eyes. "You'd really do that?"

Spike shrugged. "Sure. Not like I have anything else to do this morning. You ready to go now?"

"Let me just run in and get my purse," Buffy said.

"Sure thing. I'll be waiting for you in my driveway."

When Buffy came back outside, Spike was leaning against his black DeSoto, looking sexy enough for Buffy's legs to almost go out on her. Buffy took a deep breath, forcing an image of Riley's face to the forefront of her mind. When she approached, Spike walked around to the passenger's side, opening the door for her. "Sorry it's a bit of a mess in there," he said, pushing some papers down into the floorboards.

"It's all right," Buffy said, climbing inside the car. Spike shut the door for her before walking around to the driver's side.

"Where are we headed?" he asked, once he was in.

"Camden Street. It's over by UC Sunnydale. Dawn has an apartment near the campus."

"I know the area. You might have to direct me more when we get closer."

"I can do that."

Spike put the key in the ignition, cranking the engine.

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and nowhere to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated

"Sorry about that," Spike said, quickly turning off the blaring stereo. "Didn't realize I'd left that on."

"It's all right," Buffy said, rubbing the ear she hoped she was not now deaf in.

Spike allowed himself one quick glance at the woman beside him before pulling out of the driveway.

*** *** ***

"Dawnie, I'm so sorry I'm late," Buffy said, helping her sister with her luggage. "My car chose this morning to die. Luckily, my neighbor gave me a ride."

"It's no big," Dawn said, following her sister to Spike's car. "Maybe I'll miss my flight and won't have to go at all."

Buffy frowned. "Dawn, you have to go visit Dad."

"Why? You're not going."

"I can't just take off to Spain for a month and leave Riley."

"Why? Not like he's ever around anyway." Dawn saw the flash of pain go across her sister's face. "Sorry, Buffy."

Buffy was saved from having to respond when Spike got out of the car to open the trunk. Dawn raised an eyebrow, leaning in to whisper to Buffy. "You didn't tell me you had such a hottie for a neighbor."

"You think he's a hottie?" Buffy whispered back.

"Uh, yeah. My god, look at that body…"

"Dawn Summers," Buffy chastised. "Behave."

"Hey, I'm not the married one here…"

"No, you're the eighteen year old here. Way too young for such thoughts."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She walked over to Spike and the open trunk.

"Um, Dawn, this is William, my neighbor. William, this is my sister, Dawn."

"Nice to meet you, William," Dawn said. Spike chuckled to himself at the coy, flirtatious look on her face.

"You can call me Spike," he replied, taking the luggage from Dawn and Buffy.

Dawn smiled. "Okay, cool."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. Spike? That was a little…unorthodox...

"Come on, Dawn, we're going to be late," Buffy said as Spike slammed the trunk down.

Dawn gave Spike one more smile before climbing in the backseat.

"Spike?" Buffy asked.

Spike chuckled. "It's a nickname. You're more than welcome to call me that, too, if you want."

"I'll just stick with William."

Spike shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy."

Buffy and Spike got into the car without another word.

*** *** ***

Spike noticed Buffy's eyes tearing as they pulled away from the airport after dropping Dawn off. "You need a tissue?" he asked. "I think I have some in the glove compartment. Well, napkins from fast food restraints at least…"

"No, I'm fine," Buffy said, wiping at her eyes with her hand, thankful that she'd had the foresight to wear waterproof mascara. "I'm never good at saying good bye, even if it's just for a little while."

"I don't think anyone is, pet."

Buffy shivered. There is was again. Pet… She realized that she thought it sounded sexier than anything Riley had ever called her, and she chastised herself. "So are you still willing to take me to get a new car battery?" she asked.

"Of course. I know a guy who can get you a good deal. I'll bring you there."

"Thank you. Although I'm warning you now, I have no idea how to put it in…"

Spike laughed. "I figured as much. I'll put it in for you, don't worry."

"Thank you so much for your help today, William. I don't know what I would've done without you."

He really wished she'd agreed to call him Spike. "Not a problem, Mrs. Finn. I'm just glad I could help you."

"Call me Buffy, please," she said. "It seems weird, you calling me 'Mrs.' I think you're older than me." Buffy blushed. "Not that you're old, I just mean…"

"It's all right. I think I am older than you. I'm guessing you were a young bride."

"Nineteen. I think after my mother died, I just wanted some stability back in my life." Buffy blushed yet again, realizing she'd said more than she'd meant to.

Spike shrugged. "Beats throwing anything stable out the window, I guess."

"Is that what you did?"

Spike gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "About that car battery…"

Buffy mentally kicked herself for prying into a subject she had no business discussing with him. "Um, yeah. So, where are we going for that?"

*** *** ***

Spike shut the hood of Buffy's car. "There ya go. Good as new."

Buffy smiled. "Thank you so much. Again, I don't know what I would've done without your help."

"It was nothing." Spike met her eyes, his expression serious. "Buffy, if you ever need anyone to y'know, do manly things when Riley's away, don't hesitate to ask."

Buffy got the sudden image of Spike doing a very "manly thing" to her, right there on the hood of her car, followed by complete surprise that she'd think such a thing. Again, she forced herself to think of Riley. "Thanks for the offer. I'll let you know if I, um, ever need any of those manly things…"

"Right then," Spike said, sensing the awkward tone the conversation had taken. "I'll just be, um, going back into my house now."

Buffy started to walk away, too, but then stopped. "William, wait."

Spike turned around. "Yeah?"

"Um, you want me to fix brunch? I'm kind of hungry, and I figure you are, too, and um, it's the least I can do, seeing as you carted me all around Sunnydale and fixed my car."

Spike thought for a brief second about turning her down, but then decided that he should jump at the chance to spend even a moment more with this woman. "Sure. But only because I'm hungry—not because you owe me anything."

"Great! So you like omelettes?"

*** *** ***

"He actually fell for that?"

"Completely. I mean, I knew the bloke was stupid, but really…"

Buffy wiped tears from her eyes again, only this time they were from laughter. "I can definitely see how you became a writer, William," she said. "You really can tell a story."

"You're only saying that because you never read my poetry."

"Poetry?"

Spike winced. "I know I'm going to regret telling you this. Back when I went to university, I knew this woman, Cecily. Anyway, to make an embarrassing story short, these poems I wrote for her got out, earning me the nickname William the Bloody—short for William the Bloody Awful Poet."

Buffy tried unsuccessfully not to laugh. "You're kidding, right?"

"Sadly, no. Although luckily, I discovered prose, and the rest was history."

Buffy nudged his arm with her elbow. "You think you'd let me read any of that so-called 'bloody awful' poetry someday?"

"Burnt it. All of it. Bloody awful bonfire."

"You're lying."

Spike smirked. "Okay, I didn't burn it. But it is quite well hidden."

"Okay, fine. I won't make you show it to me if you don't want to."

"Thanks, pet."

Buffy swallowed hard. The part of her that was Mrs. Riley Finn rebelled against this man having a nickname for her, but the part of her that was still just Buffy Summers relished it, wanting more. "So what about 'Spike?' Where did that name come from?"

Spike smirked. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Buffy couldn't help but let her eyes travel downward. "Maybe it came from that." Buffy turned a deep crimson at the unbidden thought. Spike noticed the direction of her stare and smirked again. She licked her lips, and he had to resist the urge to adjust himself.

Spike took a deep breath, willing his body to calm, even under her heated gaze. He stood, deciding now was a good time to make his exit, unless he wanted her oversized wanker of a husband to come after him later… "I hate to break up the party, but I really do need to get home and work on my novel."

Buffy blinked, coming back to reality. Buffy blushed, then blushed a little more when she realized just how much she'd been doing that today. "Okay. I'm sorry I kept you from your work."

"Oh, don't worry about that at all, pet. You were a welcome distraction."

Buffy smiled at him. "Glad to hear it. Come on, I'll walk you to the door."

Spike nodded, following her out. When they got to the door, he reached out, resting his hand lightly on her shoulder. Both Spike and Buffy felt the sudden rush the accompanied the simple touch. "I'm serious about you letting me know if you need anything."

"I know. And I will."

Spike gave her one more charming smile before leaving the house.

Buffy shut the door behind him, quickly leaning against it as her knees finally gave out.

*** *** ***

Buffy hummed to herself as she fixed her hair and make up. She glanced at the clock. Riley's plane had landed a little over an hour ago. He'd be home soon, and Buffy couldn't help the rush of giddy excitement she felt  at the thought of seeing her husband again. He'd been home only a handful of days in the past couple of months, but after tonight, he'd be home with her for two weeks. She could hardly remember the last time she'd seen her husband that much, if ever.

Buffy heard the door open, and she checked her make up one more time before all but running to the living room. She threw her arms around Riley, kissing him. Riley kissed her back lightly, before pushing her away. "Did you make dinner?"

Buffy blinked. Dinner? "Um, I thought maybe we could go out tonight. We haven't in so long, and…"

"Buffy, I'm tired," Riley said. "Besides, I ate out every night I was gone. I'd much rather just have a home cooked meal."

"There's some leftovers in the fridge…"

"I've been gone for four days, and the best I can come home to is leftovers?"

Buffy fought the sudden onslaught of tears she felt trying to break through to the surface. "I can make something else…"

"You're so good to me, baby," Riley said, kissing the top of her head. "I'm going to take a shower. I always feel so dirty after being crammed in an airplane for hours."

"I missed you," Buffy said as Riley walked out of the living room.

"Missed you, too!" Riley called back, shutting the door to the bathroom.

Buffy walked into the kitchen, throwing open the freezer door and pulling out ground beef. She slammed the freezer shut, then went to the microwave, throwing the door open before shoving in the beef and slamming it shut as well. She punched the numbers in so hard that she broke a nail.

"Son of a bitch," she snapped, holding her injured finger. Suddenly, she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She went to the sink, leaning over it as she cried silently. Was it her? Was she so undesirable that her husband didn't want to be around her? She tried to be a good wife, tried to make him happy, but it seemed like she just couldn't.

Buffy looked up, catching a glimpse of Spike through the window. He was sitting at his kitchen table, smoking a cigarette and flipping through the paper. He seemed so relaxed, and Buffy couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be his wife instead of Riley's. She imagined sitting with him at the table, making idle conversation about what their days had been like. She never did that with Riley, never had the kind of relationship with her husband where she could just be there, enjoying the moment with him.

Buffy wiped her eyes harshly, chastising herself for that thought. She had no idea what life would be like with any man other than Riley, especially her neighbor. So he'd helped her when he car was broken. That didn't mean he'd be a good husband. Riley would've helped a woman in her situation, and he was…

Buffy frowned. Was what? A bad husband? She really couldn't call him that. He loved her and provided for her. She felt the all-too familiar wave of guilt at her desire for Riley to spend more time at home. He reminded her over and over again that he worked so much for them, so they could have a good life. She shouldn't be so selfish.

The microwave dinged, and Buffy went over, getting the now-thawed meat out. She took a deep breath, forcing a smile as she made dinner.

*** *** ***

"I'm going to New York Monday."

Buffy dropped her fork into her salad. "What? I thought you said you didn't have to travel for two weeks."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I really wish I didn't have to, but if I don't go, this deal I've been working on for months could fall through. That could cost me my job, baby."

"Can't Graham go?"

Riley reached across the table, taking her hand. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't go if I didn't absolutely have to, but this is important."

"Isn't our marriage important?"

Riley's eyes grew wide in surprise. "Of course it is! Buffy, our marriage is fine."

"No, it isn't. I never see you! How can we have a marriage if we're never in the same place at the same time?"

Riley stood up. "Dammit, Buffy, I do this all for you! I want you to have everything so you can be happy!"

"But I'm not happy! I don't care about material things, Riley—I want to be with you."

"Yeah, well, you tell me that when we're living in a crappy, roach-infested apartment, struggling to pay the bills."

Buffy's eyes filled with tears. "I'm not saying I want that, it's just… Isn't there some way you could be home more? I see more of the bag boy at the grocery store than I do of you."

"Buffy, we are not having this discussion. This is my job." He sighed at the heartbroken look on his wife's face. "I promise we'll spend some real time together soon." He sat back down at the table.

Buffy was the one to get up this time, throwing her napkin down. "You keep saying that, but it hasn't happened, Riley. If anything, I see you even less than I used to. I'm sick of it!" She stormed out of the dining room.

Riley ran after her, grabbing her arm. "Where are you going?"

"Away, since obviously you don't want to be around me."

"Buffy, that isn't true! I told you I'd make it up to you! Come on, baby, I'm here now. Let's just have a nice dinner."

Buffy pulled her arm out of his loose grip. "I'm not hungry." She ran off, slamming the back door as she went out to the porch.

Buffy hadn't been outside very long at all before she noticed someone come over and sit beside her. She turned, starting to yell at Riley to leave her alone when she saw it wasn't her husband. "William!"

"I don't mean to intrude, pet, but you looked so sad sitting over here."

"It's nothing," Buffy said. "I'm just one of those overly emotional women."

Spike smirked. "Now how come I doubt that?" He patted her leg. "I don't mean to pry or anything, but
I'm here if you want to talk."

Buffy knew she probably shouldn't be pouring her heart out to her next-door neighbor, but she realized how badly she needed someone to listen to her. "It's Riley," she said. "He's gone all the time. I know I'm a totally selfish bitch for wanting him home more, but I can't help it."

Spike frowned. "How does wanting your husband around make you a selfish bitch?"

"He's working so much for me, and all I can do is complain."

"Bullocks," Spike said, his sharp tone making Buffy's head snap up. He reached out, stroking her cheek. "Buffy, wanting your husband to spend time with you is not selfish. And don't fall for that 'I'm doing it for you' shit. If Riley is putting more hours in at the office than at home it's because he wants to, not because he's trying to make you happy."

"But he does so much for me," Buffy said. "When my mother died, I was suddenly all alone, having to take care of a home and a fourteen year old. But Riley, he came in and made it all better. He married me, and Dawn and I moved onto the base with him. He even pays for her to go to college. And I try so hard to be a good wife, because that's what he deserves, but I guess I just can't be."

Spike gave her a quick once over, taking note of her perfect little body. "How are you not a good wife?"

Buffy looked down at the ground. "Like tonight, when he got home, I didn't have dinner ready."

Spike's eyes widened. "What, the man can't feed himself?"

"William, I'm home all day. The least I can do is cook dinner." Buffy sighed. "See, I thought maybe we could go out. It's been so long since we've been anywhere. But he wanted a meal at home after eating out so much while he was traveling. I should've known that."

If the other man didn't have a good five inches on him, Spike would've gone inside and throttled Riley Finn. If Buffy was his wife, he'd wine and dine her every night if that was what she wanted. "Buffy, I'm sure you're a perfectly good wife. Hell, if I had ever told my wife to cook me dinner, she would've laughed in my face. Right after she smacked me good and proper."

Buffy looked at him in surprise. "You have a wife?"

Spike looked away. "Ex wife. I haven't seen her in a couple of years."

"I'm sorry."

Spike shrugged. "Things happen. Dru and I just weren't meant to be I guess."

His words were casual, but Buffy could see the pain in his eyes. She wondered what sort of woman would leave him, but then she remembered her earlier musings in the kitchen. Maybe William wouldn't have been any more of an attentive husband than Riley. "I…"

Spike cut her off. "But we weren't talking about my pitiful excuse for a love life…"

Buffy smirked. "Nope. We were talking about mine."

"I'm sure it's not pitiful…"

"I'd call no sex in over a month pitiful." Buffy clamped her hand over her mouth. "I can't believe I just said that. I'm so sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? I'm not the one who isn't getting any," Spike teased lightly.

Buffy felt a sudden wave of jealousy wondering just who Spike was "getting some" from, but then pushed it away, reminding herself she was a married woman. "It's just that Riley travels a lot, and when he gets home, he's so tired."

"If you were my wife, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you after being gone an hour, never mind several days." Spike didn't realize he'd spoken aloud until he saw Buffy's expression of total shock. "Figuratively speaking, of course," he added lamely.

"Yeah." Buffy stood. "I should really get inside. Riley'll go to sleep soon, and I hate to go to bed angry."

"Buffy, if I made you uncomfortable…"

"No, it's not that at all." She smiled at him. "I really appreciate you talking to me, William."

Spike stood as well. "If you ever need anyone to listen, you know where I live."

Buffy nodded. "Thank you."

Spike started to walk away, but stopped, reaching up to cup the side of Buffy's face in his hand. "Riley's a damn lucky bloke to have a wife as beautiful and warm as you. If he can't see that, then he's the one with the problem—not you."

Buffy felt herself blushing the way that William always seemed to make her do. "Th…thank you."

As if compelled by some sort of force outside of himself, Spike leaned down, kissing the top of Buffy's head. "Good night, sweet Buffy."

Buffy reached out and grasped the railing of the porch, not trusting her ability to remain standing. "Good night."

Spike gave her his most charming smile before walking back over to his own house.

Buffy sat back down, waiting for a while until she regained her composure enough to go back in.

*** *** ***

Buffy walked into the dining room to find the dinner plates still on the table, the leftover food not put away. She sighed, clearing the table and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. She put what was left of the food in the refrigerator before going back into the bedroom. Riley was already in bed, laying on his back with one hand thrown over his face, lightly snoring. Buffy got ready for bed, then slipped in beside her husband. Gently, she shook him awake.

Riley slowly opened his eyes. "What, Buffy?"

"I wanted to apologize before I went to sleep."

"Why didn't you just apologize in the morning?" Riley asked groggily. "I was already sleeping."

"I don't want to go to bed angry," Buffy said. "My parents…"

"Buffy, we are not your parents," Riley snapped. "Besides, my parents went to bed angry plenty of times, and they're still married."

Buffy somehow kept from pointing out that any love in that marriage had obviously died years ago. She wasn't sure which was worse—getting divorced or staying together out of nothing more than convenience. "I just hate fighting with you, Riley. You're never home, and then when you are, it seems like we're arguing the whole time."

"That's because you keep nagging me."

"I'm not nagging! I just want to actually see you once in a while."

"I'm home now, and what do you do? You storm out during dinner and then wake me up to yell at me!"

"I woke you up to apologize," Buffy snapped. "You're the one who started the fight over again."

"You've been at me ever since I came home," Riley replied. "You wonder why I'm never home? Well, dammit, Buffy, who would want to live with this?"

Buffy's face fell. Riley did stay gone all the time because of her. "Riley, if I'm a bad wife, I'm sorry. I really do try…"

Riley sighed heavily. "Buffy, you're not a bad wife. You're just a little…trying at times. But I do love you."

"I love you, too." Buffy slid up against him, nestling her head against his chest. Riley wrapped his arms around her. "I do appreciate everything you do, Riley. I'm sorry if I seem ungrateful."

Riley kissed her hair. "It's okay, Buffy. I know it does get lonely for you when I'm gone. Why don't you join a book club or something?"

Buffy frowned. She didn't want a book club. She wanted a husband who remembered she existed. "I'll think about it."

Riley gave her a gentle squeeze. "There, we're not fighting anymore. Can you go to sleep now?"

Buffy let herself get comfortable in her husband's arms. "Yeah," she replied, closing her eyes and ignoring those nagging doubts still at the back of her mind.

*** *** ***

Spike had developed a deep hatred for blank computer screens. They taunted him every time he closed his eyes, every time he fell asleep. And in his waking hours, the real thing stared at him, as if it were making a mockery of the emptiness he felt in his life.

He tried writing with a good old-fashioned pen and paper, wondering if maybe that would make the words come again, but still nothing. All that had gotten him was a nice mound of paper balls beside his couch.

When he heard a knock at his door, Spike got up immediately, grateful for the distraction. He became even happier when he saw his visitor was Buffy. He smiled brightly. "Well, hello, Mrs. Finn. And how can I help you?"

Buffy smiled back. "I'm really sorry to bother you, but, well, Riley's off again, and I was getting sort of lonely over there by myself. But I'm probably intruding, so…"

Spike reached out, desperate to stop her from going. "No. You're not intruding at all. As a matter of fact, I'm glad you stopped by. I was going crazy in there trying to write?"

"Novel not going so well?"

Spike winced. "No. I'm in writer's block hell."

Buffy gave him a sympathetic look that would annoy him coming from most people. From her, it made him feel a little better. "How long have you been blocked?" Buffy asked.

Spike decided against lying to her. "Any ability I ever had to write came to a dead stop months ago."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Must be awful for you."

"It's not a walk in the park, that's for sure." Spike's brow knitted.  "You want to go get some lunch? I know I could use a change of scenery, and it must get boring for you, eating alone."

Buffy paused, thinking for a minute. Would Riley like the idea of her going out to eat with another man? But she wanted to go, and well, Riley wasn't there to stop her, now was he? "Sure. Where'd you have in mind?"

"There's this place up the road. They have these fried onion things that are bloody amazing."

Buffy giggled, and Spike decided instantly he loved the sound. "Sounds good. You ready to go now, or…"

"Now's a good a time as any. Let's go, pet."

Buffy smiled as she walked with Spike down to the driveway.

*** *** ***

"So how did your writer's block start anyway?" Buffy asked once they had gotten to the restaurant and placed their orders.

"I don't know, really," Spike replied with a shrug. "It's like I sit down to write, and nothing comes."

"Like you don't have any inspiration?" Buffy suggested.

"Exactly," Spike replied. "I know I should write, and I know I would like the money, but that's not enough of a reason for the creative part of my brain, I guess."

"Spike! Spikey, is that you!"

Spike turned pale, looking down at the table. "Sodding hell."

Buffy glanced up at the blonde coming towards their table. "Who is that?"

"My biggest mistake ever," Spike muttered.

The blonde came up to them, placing both of her hands firmly on the table. "And just where have you been?" she demanded to know. "I've been trying to call you for weeks!"

Spike gave her his most innocent expression. "I've been in New York meeting with publishers."

"Don't you lie to me!" the girl snapped. "And who's this…" The woman stopped. "Wait, don't I know you?"

Buffy looked up, recognition flitting across her face. She frowned. "We went to high school together," she muttered.

"Right. Bunny?"

"Buffy."

"Whatever. Spike, what are you doing with her?"

"We were just having lunch, Harmony," Spike replied through gritted teeth. "Buffy's my neighbor."

"Oh, so you're not skagging her, or whatever it is you say?"

"It's shagging. And no, I'm not."

"Then why haven't you called me?"

"I told you, I've been meeting with publishers," Spike lied again. "I was going to call you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. But I need you to leave right now, okay Harm?"

Harmony frowned, but stepped back from the table. "But you promise you'll call me?"

"I promise."

Harmony threw her arms around Spike, giving him a big kiss. "I've missed you, Blondie Bear!" She pulled back. "Call me!"

"I will."

Harmony gave Buffy a snarky smile before sashaying away from the table.

Spike looked across the table to see Buffy staring at him with her arms crossed in front of her and one eyebrow raised. "Blondie Bear?"

"Yeah, I didn't really want that one getting out…"

Buffy laughed, but in actuality she was fuming with jealousy and anger. "So you and Harmony Kendall?"

"Dated her for a while," Spike said. "Huge error in judgment."

"Well, yeah," Buffy replied.

Spike sighed. "It started right after my divorce was final. I was lonely. By the time I realized the mistake I'd made, I couldn't get rid of her. She's like a sodding leech."

The look of absolute misery on Spike's face made most of Buffy's negative feelings melt away. "Are you actually going to call her?"

"No. Although knowing her, she'll just call me incessantly until I finally break down and give in. I should get my bleeding number changed."

"If I were you, I'd just give it up and join the witness protection program."

Spike laughed. "I'll take it the two of you weren't the best of friends in high school."

"Um, no. I made the unforgivable mistake on choosing my friends based on actual compatibility and not whether or not they knew the latest fashions."

Spike looked at her in mock horror. "What's wrong with you, woman?"

Buffy chuckled. "I know. How could I be so shallow?" She sobered. "But I don't regret it one bit. I may have not been Miss Popular in high school, but I made friends who I still love like family."

"So where are they now, pet?" Spike asked, wondering if she had close friends, why she was so lonely all the time.

"Oh, they're around," Buffy said. "They just have their own lives, y'know? I still see them a lot, it's just that…"

"They can't fill in for Riley?" Spike finished.

Buffy nodded. "Exactly."

Spike looked into green eyes and wanted to tell her he'd be happy to fill in for Riley, but he kept his mouth shut, knowing that would be a good way to ruin the day. Luckily, before he did have to say anything else, the waitress brought their food to the table, letting Spike concentrate on something other than just how beautiful the woman he was dining with was.

*** *** ***

"Thanks again for lunch," Buffy said as they pulled into Spike's driveway. She wasn't sure how she felt about him picking up the check. It made it almost too much like a date. She played absent-mindedly with the two rings on her left hand.

"Really, it was nothing." Spike turned off the car. "Would you like to come in?" He noticed Buffy hesitate and quickly added. "If you go back home, you'll just be lonely again, and there's really no point in me sitting around trying to write when I know I won't be able to. We might as well keep each other company."

"Okay."

Spike smiled. He knew he had no chance with Buffy, but he couldn't help wanting to be around her. Something about her called to him, and he wasn't sure he could stay away from her if he tried. "Come on in, then."

Buffy followed Spike up the driveway and into his house. She knew that Riley wouldn't like her spending this much time with another man, but she found that she didn't care. If he was around, she wouldn't be doing it. "Would you like something to drink?"

Buffy decided that drinking and being around her incredibly sexy neighbor were probably not mixy things. "Just water would be fine, thanks."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Spike went into the kitchen, and Buffy sat down on the couch, her back straight and her hands tightly gripping her knees. Spike came out a few moments later, handing her a glass of water before sitting down in a chair with a glass of bourbon for himself.

"So how exactly did you meet Harmony?" Buffy asked after a moment, trying to break the awkward silence.

Spike smirked. "Funny story, really. But I don't want to talk about her."

Buffy shrugged. "It just surprised me that you two had ever been together. I mean, unless she's changed drastically since high school, she always seemed a bit…shallow."

"Maybe I'm shallow."

Buffy searched Spike's face, trying to see if she'd insulted him. But his lip was curled up in an almost smile, and if she didn't know any better, she'd swear her was flirting with her. "You don't seem shallow to me."

"Like I said before, Harm was a mistake. I met her when I was still reeling over my split with Drusilla."

Buffy took a sip of her water. "Tell me to shut up if I'm prying too much, but what happened with you and your wife?"

"She left me for another man," Spike said, staring down into his drink. "She'd cheated on me before, but she always came back. She'd be gone for a bit, but then she'd be at my door again, begging me to take her back." He took a drink, then added, "The last time she showed up, it wasn't to ask for my forgiveness. It was to serve me divorce papers. Apparently I wasn't the man she married."

"Why'd you keep taking her back if she cheated on you?" Buffy asked. "I don't think I could forgive Riley for that."

"Because I'm love's bitch," Spike said bitterly. He sighed. This wasn't the conversation he wanted to have with Buffy, but at the same time, it felt good to talk to someone about it. "Dru, she wasn't like other women." He ran his hand through his hair, messing up the platinum blond spikes a little more. "She was crazy, actually. Completely off her bird. One of the things I loved most about her at first. Thought she was quirky."

Spike took another drink, then frowned when he realized he'd finished off his glass. "It wasn't until after we were married that I realized how bad she could get. But I loved her. And I took care of her, even when sometimes I just wanted to walk out and never look back. I'd been wild and carefree when I married her, but I had to change some. She kept getting sicker, and I had to take care of her. Then, she started getting better again, and she decided I wasn't enough for her anymore. Told me she had to find her pleasures somewhere, and that I tasted like ashes."

"I can't imagine you being anything but pleasurable." Buffy blushed fiercely when she realized what she'd blurted out. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

Spike chuckled. "It's all right, pet. I'll take that as a compliment." Spike got up and walked to the kitchen, coming back with a refilled glass and the bottle.

Buffy held up her empty water glass. "I've changed my mind on the alcohol thing."

"Did I depress you that much?"

Buffy giggled. "No. I just figured you shouldn't be drinking alone."

"Pet, you don't have to…"

"Would you just fill my damn glass already?"

Spike laughed, taking her glass and pouring her a drink. "Well, aren't you a saucy little bint?"

"I might be…if I knew what the hell that was." Buffy took a drink and made a disgusted sound that Spike thought was completely adorable. She took another drink. "I know what it's like…to lose someone and feel like your whole world is ending."

Spike raised a scarred eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Buffy said, drinking again. "I knew this guy in high school. He was a little older than me, but when we met, it was like this instant thing, y'know? But in the end he left. He felt like with our age difference that he was going to make me miss out on some huge part of life. It hurt so much, and I swore to myself after that that I would never love another man that much ever again. Too dangerous."

Spike sat back down, only this time on the couch with her instead of in the chair. "So you don't love Riley with that all-encompassing, make you weak in the knees kind of love?"

"I love my husband," Buffy said defensively. "Riley and I have a nice, comfortable relationship. I wouldn't want it any other way."

Spike looked at her, and Buffy shivered when she realized his eyes had grown darker. "But what about passion? Don't you miss that burning fire that makes you feel like you'll die if you don't have the other person right then and there?"

"Yeah…"Buffy said, then blinked, realizing what she'd said. "I mean no! I can trust and depend on Riley. That's what I need in a relationship. And if you must know, our sex life is perfectly satisfying."

Spike almost pointed out that it couldn't possibly be satisfying if it was practically non-existent, but he decided it was better not to cross that line. "You don't have to get all defensive," Spike said, leaning back. "Just teasing you a bit."

Buffy gave him a pout. "It's not nice to tease, you know."

Spike looked at her full lips and had to fight the urge to kiss her. Didn't he know it… He coughed. "Why don't we move to a nicer subject then?"

"Like what?"

"Like you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Tell me about yourself, Buffy Finn."

Buffy gave him a smile that Spike could only describe as coy. "How about I tell you about Buffy Summers? She's much more interesting."

Spike leaned back against the edge of the couch. "Then by all means, talk to me about her."

*** *** ***

Buffy couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun. Somehow, she'd ended up on William's floor, eating Chinese food with him. They'd talked for hours, and Buffy wondered if she'd ever spent this much time with Riley. She came to the conclusion that Drusilla really must have been "off her bird" as William put it to walk out on him.

Spike looked up at her, laying on his side with his head perched on his hand. "Thank you."

"For what?" Buffy asked, confused.

"For today. I haven't felt this, well, alive in a long time."

"Me either," Buffy replied, realizing as she said it that it was true. Buffy looked up at the clock, frowning at the late hour. "I should be getting home. Riley usually calls when he gets in, and he's probably wondering where I am."

Spike sat up, mentally wincing at the mention of her husband. He'd almost been able to forget the wanker in the past few hours, but now he remembered with painful clarity that Buffy was indeed a married woman. "Right. Wouldn't want him to get his knickers all in a twist."

Buffy smirked. "You want me to help you clean this up?" Buffy asked, gesturing to the various Chinese food cartons now littering Spike's floor.

"Nah. I can handle it just fine." Spike stood, then reached down, taking Buffy's hand and helping her to her feet.

Buffy stood, staring into his eyes. He was shorter than Riley, and Buffy realized that that made it easier for her to really get a good look at him. He was so different from her husband, more compact with lighter coloring. While Riley was more of a ruggedly handsome kind of guy, William had more of a sensual beauty about him. She almost reached up to trace the sharp lines of his perfectly sculpted cheekbones when she realized she was still holding his hand. She pulled back from him suddenly.

Spike was startled at just how much the sudden lack of contact with her hurt. Her hand had been so small and soft in his, and he'd wanted nothing more than to bring it to his lips. "Come on, pet. You should probably get back to your house," Spike said, wanting to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah."

Spike walked her to the door, opening it for her. "Thanks again, Buffy. You call me if it ever gets too lonely again for you in that big house all by yourself."

"I will. Good night…Spike."

Spike smiled at her use of his preferred name. He reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind her ears, unable to keep himself from touching it any longer. "Good night, Buffy."

Buffy smiled at him, her blush returning once again. She hurried off the porch and back to her own house, with Spike watching her until she closed the door behind her.

Spike shut his own door, walking into his study. He looked at the computer for a moment, then a slow smile moved across his face. He sat down and began to type.

*** *** ***

"Spike? Spike, buddy, are you in here? The backdoor was unlocked…"

"I'm in the study, Clem!" Spike shouted.

Clem walked into the study, frowning as he saw the shape both Spike and the room were in. "What happened in here?"

Spike looked up, his eyes wild and red from lack of sleep. "I've been writing, Clem!"

"All night?"

"Yes! It's bloody amazing. It's like this gate just opened, and all these words came pouring out. I was afraid if I went to sleep, I'd wake up and they'd be gone again."

"So what happened?" Clem asked, sitting down on the couch in Spike's study.

Spike smiled. "Buffy."

Clem looked confused. "What's a Buffy?"

"Buffy's a woman, you nit," Spike said, still smiling. "She's my neighbor. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Her hair is the most amazing…" Spike sighed. "It's like a bloody shampoo commercial."

"So what did this Buffy do to make your writer's block go away?"

"We spent the whole day together yesterday," Spike said. "She came over here in the afternoon, and we went to get lunch. Ran into Harmony, and even that didn't spoil the day?"

"She that woman you used to date—the one with all the unicorns?" Clem asked.

"That would be the one. Anyway, we came back to my place afterwards, and talked for hours. She was over here so long we ended up eating dinner together, too. Then, when she went home, I could write again. It was like magic or something."

"If there was that much magic going on, I'm surprised she went home at all," Clem teased.

Spike shook his head. "We're not like that."

"Not like what?"

"Like that—y'know, together. We're just friends. Buffy's married. He's a total git, but she's married."

"Whoa, Spike—married? That look in your eye did not say 'married friend who happens to be female.' It said 'beautiful woman who I'd kill to be with.'"

"Look, I'll be honest. If Buffy was single, yeah, I'd make a move. She's gorgeous, and we just, well, click. But I'm not going to do that with a married woman, no matter how badly I may want it. I don't want to be like those wankers Dru was seeing behind my back."

"So where was her husband when she was spending all day with you?"

"Business trip. He's never home. If I had a woman like that, there's no sodding way I'd spend as much of my time gone as he does. Hell, I probably wouldn't even bother to get out of bed some days…"

"That nice, huh?"

"Oh yes. A golden goddess, that one."

"A married golden goddess."

Spike frowned. "I wish you wouldn't remind me of that, Clem."

Clem gave Spike a half smile. "Well, look on the bright side. Maybe her husband will get hit by a bus or something."

Spike chuckled. The thought of Riley flat on the pavement was just too good to even dream. "I can tell you I sure wouldn't mind giving her a shoulder to cry on."

Clem sobered. "Just think with your head on this one, buddy. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I will," Spike replied, knowing already that that was going to be a hard promise to keep.

*** *** ***

Usually, Spike wouldn't be caught dead at a block party. It was incredibly too suburban with all the women gossiping over covered dishes and the men ready to grill. But he'd looked out the window and seen Buffy. He knew he was no better than a lovesick teenage boy the way he'd do anything just to be around her, but he didn't care.

After glancing over at the men to verify that Riley was nowhere to be found, Spike approached the group of women Buffy was talking to. "Hello, ladies," he said, giving his most charming smile.

The women all turned, greeting Spike with hellos and coy smiles. Spike ignored most of them, focusing on Buffy. "How are you doing today, Mrs. Finn?"

Buffy blushed a little at the knowing looks women gave each other over the way Spike focused on her. "I'm fine, you?" she asked, trying to sound casual. After all, William was just her friend. There was nothing she should feel guilty about.

"Great. Is your husband not back in town?"

More looks from the other women. "No," Buffy said simply.

"Pity," Spike said with a smile that told Buffy that he thought it was anything but. "He seems like the type who would love a chance to grill something." He nodded his head towards the group of men who were currently flipping hamburgers.

"And why aren't you over there helping them?" Buffy asked, suddenly wishing Spike was anywhere but there. She didn't like the looks she was getting from the other neighborhood women.

Spike shrugged. "Not too big with the whole cooking over an open flame thing, pet. Too caveman for me."

"Buffy, dear, could you give me a hand? I have a few pies I baked sitting on my counter, and I'd like to bring them out."

Buffy smiled at the elderly woman who lived across from her. "Of course, Mrs. Cranston." Buffy gave Spike a quick glance before walking across the street.

"Marriage is a difficult thing, child," Mrs. Cranston said once she and Buffy were in her house.

Buffy blinked. "What?"

"I remember when I was your age, dear. My sweet Lyle, bless his resting soul, was always working—much like that handsome husband of yours." Mrs. Cranston went into the kitchen, pulling out some plastic wrap to cover the pies with. "A few times I was confronted by the demon of temptation, but I didn't give in. Even if Lyle did, I always turned a blind eye. After all, men will be men. But we wives, we're meant to be there for our husbands, no matter how much better something else may look."

Buffy frowned, confused. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "I haven't…"

Mrs. Cranston shook a stern finger. "Don't pretend you don't know. It's plain how you and that William look at each other. But you're a good girl, Buffy. Don't let him tempt you into being anything but a good wife. Riley's the kind of man who will take care of you."

Buffy forced herself to stay quiet. She knew Mrs. Cranston meant well, but she didn't like the way she was talking to her. She wasn't a girl, she was a woman. A grown, adult woman. And she didn't need Riley to take care of her, did she? And as far as William was concerned, well, he was just a friend. No reason to worry there. She pushed herself to smile. "Thank you for the advice, Mrs. Cranston."

Mrs. Cranston smiled as if she felt she had truly accomplished something, then handed Buffy a pie. "Thank you for helping me with these, dear."

Buffy nodded. "Happy to help."

*** *** ***

As the evening came to a close, Buffy found herself sitting with Spike on his back porch. "I was surprised to see you come out and join us today."

"Yeah?"

Buffy took a sip of her drink. "Yeah. You seem like the type who would hide from something like this."

Spike chuckled. "Normally, I would. But I knew you'd be here, pet."

Buffy looked up at him. "You came to see me?"

"Well, yeah. We're friends, aren't we?"

"We are." Buffy elbowed him. "You sure you weren't here to see that brunette who lives down the street?"

"Huh?"

"The one you were talking to earlier. She kept touching your arm. All big with the flirty."

"Faith?"

"I guess that was her name. Tattoo on her arm?"

"Yeah, that's Faith. And no, I wasn't here to talk to her. She's not my type."

Buffy took another drink. "That's good. She seemed sorta skanky."

Spike chuckled. "I'm surprised you noticed." He gave her a teasing smirk. "Were you jealous?"

"Jealous? Ha!" Buffy waved her left hand in his face. "Married woman here."

Spike cringed a little at the sight of her rings. He hated Riley Finn for finding this woman first and marrying her. "Doesn't mean you can't be jealous, kitten. I am a rather attractive bloke after all."

Buffy felt suddenly lightheaded and blamed it on the couple of beers she had and not on the way Spike was looking at her. Kitten? That was a new one. And he was right, he was an attractive "bloke." Buffy giggled.

"What? Something funny in that? You could seriously wound a man's ego that way, you know."

Buffy chuckled. "No, nothing's funny."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"No reason."

Spike pointed to her beer. "Had one too many of those?"

"Nope, I'm good." More giggles.

"Somehow, I don't believe that." Spike took her drink from her.

"Hey!" Buffy yelled indignantly. "What was that for?"

"I'm cutting you off."

"You can't do that, you, you meanie!"

"Meanie?" Spike laughed. "Case in point, Buff."

Buffy pouted. "I'm not drunk, I swear. Maybe a little tipsy, but still big with the clear-headedness." Buffy sighed. "I just feel relaxed. Kinda happy. I had a good time today. Got to be around people, and I didn't have to think about how Riley isn't here. Even Mrs. Cranston's little 'don't give into the demon of temptation' speech didn't get me down."

"Her what?"

Oops. Buffy hadn't meant to let that slip. Maybe she had had more to drink than she'd thought. "Oh, it's nothing. Just when she had me go help her with the pies she hinted that you and I are getting awfully close, and that I need to remember that good wives don't have affairs, or something like that." Buffy laughed again. "But that's crazy because you and I so aren't having an affair."

"No," Spike said, more for his own benefit than for Buffy's. "We're not."

"Nope, we've just been hanging out. In a completely friendly, non-affair having kind of way." She reached over William, and he found himself suddenly assaulted with the wonderful scent of her hair.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Liberating my drink," Buffy said, grabbing the beer away from him.

"Evil," Spike muttered. "Distracting me like that."

Buffy giggled again. "It was easy, too. Didn't even have to fight you for it."

"Lucky for you. I don't think you would've stood much of a chance against me."

"Bah. I'm tougher than I look, mister." Buffy lightly punched his shoulder.

"Oh. Ow. I'm in pain."

"The sarcasm is not appreciated."

"Wasn't trying to be sarcastic. I was just trying to, um, boost your ego."

"Riiight. Liar."

Spike gave her a cocky look. "What can I say, you hit like a girl."

"I am a girl."

"I've noticed."

Suddenly, it grew silent between them, the husky tone Spike's voice took in that simple comment changing the mood between them from playful to something else. "William…" Buffy looked up, meeting his eyes for just a second. "Spike…"

Spike felt his heart clench in his chest as she said his name. She was so beautiful, and he couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss her. Would it really be so bad, just to give in a little? He moved closer, mesmerized by eyes.

Buffy knew she shouldn't. But her mind kept cycling through fantasies about what it would be like just to kiss him. It had been so long since she and Riley had shared anything passionate, and she missed the rush she felt from a good kiss. She leaned in towards him.

Buffy froze when she felt Spike's lips against hers. It was better than she'd expected, the light press of his mouth stirring more up inside of her than the fieriest kiss she'd ever shared with Riley. She reached up, tangling her fingers in his hair and pulling him closer.

The little voice in the back of Spike's head told him what he was doing was wrong, but he didn't care. Kissing Buffy somehow made him feel lost and at home at the same time. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him.

Suddenly, Buffy pulled herself away, her eyes wide. "I…I…oh god, Riley."

Spike's shoulders slumped. He mentally kicked himself for allowing himself to forget she was married. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"No, it's okay," Buffy said softly, standing up. "I was kissing you, too." She looked at him for a second then turned away. "I have to go."

Spike wanted to beg her to stay. "I know." He watched as Buffy ran away.

*** *** ***

As soon as Buffy got into her house she felt the tears start. She couldn't quite put her finger on exactly what had happened. How had she gone from having a simple conversation with her neighbor to kissing him like that?

Buffy decided to blame the alcohol. What else would've made her completely forget about her husband like that?

She sank down on the couch, knowing it was more than just the couple of beers she had had. She wanted Spike when she was completely sober, too. And she'd been just one step away from throwing all her vows out the window and doing something she knew she'd regret.

She knew she should stay away from Spike, that the temptation was too great, but at the same time she wasn't sure if she could. She felt more alive with him than she had in so long, and she didn't want to give that up. She'd felt trapped in a loop for so long with Riley, doing the same thing every day, but not really feeling anything. With Spike, everything was different. But it was wrong. She was a married woman.

Buffy stood, wiping at her eyes as she headed to the bedroom, telling herself that everything would look better in the morning.

*** *** ***

Buffy woke the next morning feeling no better than she had the night before. All she could think about was what it felt like to kiss Spike and the overwhelming sense of guilt she felt at betraying Riley, even in that simple way.

She busied herself around the house, hoping that if she didn't sit still, maybe she could keep herself from thinking. It worked.

Until she did the laundry.

Buffy stood in the basement in front of the washing machine, checking the pockets of the jeans she was about to wash. She reached into a pair of Riley's, pulling out a small, folded slip of paper. Curious, she opened it. Buffy felt her whole world spin as she read what was written. It was simple, just the name "Sandy" and a phone number in curvy, feminine handwriting.

The paper fell to the ground as Buffy stepped back, her hand clamped over her mouth as she fought back tears. In the back of her mind she'd always had the nagging suspicion that Riley's "business trips" weren't all that he said they were. Her friend Xander's wife, Anya, had once tried to argue that if Riley wasn't getting it at home, he was getting it somewhere, but Buffy hadn't let herself believe that. Riley was just tired. All that working and traveling…

But Anya had been right. Riley hadn't been simply worn out from work; he'd been worn out from whatever it was he was doing with "Sandy."

Buffy felt angry tears begin to stream down her face. She'd let herself be torn up with guilt over one kiss, and he'd been sleeping around on her for who knew how long. "That bastard!" Buffy yelled, throwing the jeans as hard as she could. She stared down at the piece of paper, her pain quickly becoming nothing but anger. She'd wasted so much time, keeping his house, doing nothing for herself, while he'd been out having fun with some home-wrecking slut.

Buffy's mouth formed a determined line. "No more," she said aloud. She wasn't going to sit at home playing housewife Barbie for Riley Finn any longer.

Buffy walked out of the basement.

*** *** ***

*** *** ***

Spike sat in front of his computer, unable to focus long enough to write anything. He didn't feel blocked—the story was still clear in his mind—but he was distracted. The kiss he'd shared with Buffy the night before kept playing in his mind over and over again. It was better than he'd even dreamed. He'd loved Drusilla almost as long as he could remember, but even kissing her was never like that.

Yet Buffy wasn't his. She had a husband, and despite the fact that Riley was one of the biggest wankers Spike had ever met, he didn't want to let himself become the other man. He knew what it felt like to have your wife cheating on you, and Spike didn't think even Riley deserved that.

When Spike heard the knock on his door, he frowned. Only two people ever came to his house these days, and Clem never knocked. That meant it had to be Buffy. "Or it could be that pizza I didn't order," Spike muttered as he got up. As much as he didn't want to, he knew he had to talk to her.

Spike expected a guilty, nervous Buffy to be standing on the other side of his door. What he didn't expect was for her to launch herself in his arms, kissing him with a fierce passion. Spike's eyes grew wide in shock as Buffy pushed him against the wall, slamming the door shut with her foot as she did. She kissed him hard enough to bruise, tangling her fingers in his hair. A million reasons why he shouldn't be doing this ran through Spike's head, but he couldn't do anything but wrap his arms around Buffy and kiss back.

Spike turned Buffy in his arms, pressing her against the wall instead. Buffy let him for a moment before pushing him across the room into the opposite wall, gaining the upper hand again. She's spent too many years being the weaker one. This time, with this man, she wanted control. Buffy jumped up, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. Spike held on to her for support, thankful for her slight weight. She pushed herself against him, and Spike groaned against her lips. Suddenly, she reached between them, pulling down his zipper and pulling him out of his jeans. When he felt her small, soft hand around him he almost told her to stop, but then she was pulling up her skirt and, before he knew it, she had slipped herself down onto him.

Spike looked up at her in surprise. She looked back with the same expression of shock, as if she was as unsure as he was as to exactly how things had progressed to this. Spike expected her to jump out of his arms and run away without looking back. But instead, her look changed to one of determination as she began to slide up and down on him. Any rational thoughts he may have had left him as she closed her eyes, a sound of complete bliss escaping her lips. She kissed him again, and Spike spun with her still in his arms, pushing her against the wall for better leverage.

Buffy whimpered, pushing herself against him as hard as she could. Spike tried to keep his balance, but he couldn't, Buffy's movements too frantic for that. He fell backwards, Buffy's hand reaching out and knocking over everything on his side table as they went to the ground. Buffy didn't miss a beat, immediately resuming her motions as they landed, now riding Spike as he lay on his floor. She looked into his eyes for a moment before throwing her head back, gasping with pleasure. Then she leaned down, meeting his eyes again. Her lips were close enough to kiss, but Spike didn't lean forward. All he could do was lay under her, panting, his body still in shock that this was even happening. He wondered for a moment if he would wake up and find this was just another one of his dreams.

Buffy sat up again, riding him harder this time. She threw her head back, closing her eyes and biting her lower lip. He watched her for what could've been minutes, and hour, eternity, he wasn't sure. Then, she cried out his name, her body spasming and clenching him tighter. Spike let himself go then, knowing he couldn't keep himself from falling over the edge now if he tried.

Buffy slumped forward, and Spike held her to him, feeling her tremble. She pushed herself up on his chest, her eyes searching his. Suddenly, her face paled, and she scrambled to get off of him, straightening her clothes. She fidgeted nervously with her hair, her eyes scanning the room wildly, trying to look at anything but him.

Spike's mind was going a mile a minute as he tried to process what the hell had just happened. "Buffy…" he said, sitting up and fixing his pants.

Buffy held her hand out. "Don't. Just…don't."

Spike frowned. Had she forgotten she was the one that threw herself at him? He stood. "Buffy, I just… What happened here, pet?"

Buffy turned towards him, the look of hurt confusion on his face tearing at her. "I'm so sorry," she said, starting to cry.

"It's all right," Spike said, unable to keep himself from going over to comfort her. He wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said again, her voice muffled against his chest.

Spike stroked her hair. "Shh. You don't have to be sorry. It's going to be all right, love."

Buffy pushed away from him. "Don't call me that."

Spike frowned. "Call you what?"

"Love. I don't love you. I can't love you."

"I…I didn't mean…" Spike gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm British."

"I know, I just." Buffy looked around the room again, the reality of what she'd just done hitting her. "I have to go. Riley's supposed to be home this afternoon."

Spike looked down, the mention of her husband's name filling him with guilt over what they'd just done. "Right."

Buffy ran out the door without looking back. Spike sighed and started picking up what they'd knocked over.

*** *** ***

When Riley got home, Buffy was sitting on the couch. "Hey, baby," he said, leaning down to kiss her. Buffy turned away. "What's wrong?" Riley asked, his brow knitting.

"Who's Sandy?"

"Huh?"

Buffy stood and tossed the scrap of paper she'd found earlier at Riley's head. "Sandy! Who the fuck is she, Riley?"

Riley's eyes grew wide, and he bent down to pick up the paper. He opened it, reading the name and number. "Where did you find this?"

"In your jeans earlier, when I was doing laundry. Is she where you've been, Riley? Is Sandy your 'business?'"

"What! No! Buffy, I…Do you think I'm cheating on you?"

"You have women's numbers crumpled in your jeans, Riley. What the fuck am I supposed to think?"

Riley blinked. He'd never seen Buffy like this, never heard her talk this way. "Buffy…I wouldn't do that!"

"Then who is she?" Buffy screamed, her whole body shaking.

"She's…she's a business associate. She'd left her house that morning without bringing her business cards, so she just scribbled her number down. I swear, Buffy, I'm not cheating on you. I would never, ever do that, baby! I love you so much."

Buffy stared at him, feeling sick to her stomach. "You didn't…"

"No!" Riley placed his hands on her arms, looking down into her eyes. "Buffy, listen to me. I love you. I know I'm gone a lot, but I'm always faithful. You're my everything."

"You really didn't cheat on me? Oh god…" Buffy burst into tears.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Riley asked softly, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "You seem upset that I didn't."

"No, it isn't that," Buffy said, hoping he couldn't tell she was lying. "It's just, I found that this morning, and it's been a really emotional day. I'm so sorry, Riley."

"It's okay," Riley said, kissing her forehead. "I don't blame you for making that conclusion," he told her, unable to know the true reason for her apology. "I probably would've thought the same thing in your shoes."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said again, slumping against her husband's chest.

"It's okay, really." He hugged her. "You've had a hard day, baby. Why don't I go run you a bath, and you can soak while I order something for dinner."

Buffy looked up at him, the gentle way he was treating her compounding the guilt he was feeling. "Riley, you don't need…"

"No arguing, Buffy. Come on. Let's go get you relaxing."

Buffy nodded numbly as she followed Riley into the bathroom.

*** *** ***

One thought kept rolling through Spike's head: "What the fuck was that?" He hadn't been able to do much of anything since Buffy had run out of his house. He wanted to talk to her, to find out what on earth had driven her to do that, but he knew her husband was home now, and the "why exactly did we have sex?" conversation was not one he wanted to have with the other man present.

Spike felt himself drifting back and forth from guilt and self-loathing to telling himself he couldn't exactly be to blame for her throwing herself at him. He hadn't actively tried to seduce her. Sure, he may have gotten closer to her than he should have, but he hadn't pushed for anything. No, Buffy had just come in and taken that.

But then again, he should've tried to stop it. He'd known she was married, but he'd let it happen all the same. He'd done nothing to change Buffy's mind, and now he was no better than the men Drusilla had spent years making a fool of him with.

He wondered if they'd ever felt like this. If those men had sat alone and thought about him, felt guilt for invading his marriage, for sharing something with his wife than only he was supposed to. Somehow, from what he'd seen of Dru's other men, he doubted it. But did that make him any better? Was he somehow immune from the fact that this was wrong because he felt guilty?

Spike didn't think so. The fact still remained, he'd had sex with another man's wife, something he'd vowed he'd never do. And to make it worse, he knew he'd do it again if given the chance.

"You're a bloody stupid git, William," he mumbled to himself before taking a drink straight from the bottle.

*** *** ***

"Buffy, honey, are you okay?"

Buffy glanced up from the toast she'd been staring out for the past few minutes. "I'm fine. Do you need more coffee?" She stood up. "I think I'm going to get more coffee."

Riley reached out and grabbed her arm as she started to get up from the table. "I don't think you need any more coffee. You're jumpy enough as it is."

"You're right. No more coffee. Orange juice? I could go squeeze some…"

Riley folded his newspaper closed. "Buffy, talk to me. Is everything all right with us? You've been weird since I got home last night. You…you believe me about Sandy, don't you?"

"Of course I do, it's just…" I fucked that gorgeous man who lives next door, and now I can't look you in the face… "I'm fine, Riley. Really." She smiled. "See, this is happy, content Buffy, all big on the marital bliss."

Riley frowned. "Okay, I'll let it go. But you'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would." Buffy reached over and took Riley's hand, immediately regretting the action. Touching Riley made her remember touching Spike, and that brought the guilt back, washing over her again in waves.

Riley brought Buffy's hand to his lips, kissing it. "I'm such a lucky guy to have you for my wife, Buffy," he said. "You're perfect."

"I'm not sure if I'd go as far as perfect…"

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I would."

Buffy glanced out the window to the house next door.

*** *** ***

"Why don't we go out tonight?"

Buffy looked at Riley in shock. "What?"

"I'm leaving for another week tomorrow. Let's spend the evening together before I have to go."

Buffy wasn't sure what to say. Riley hadn't taken her out in ages. But since he'd come home this last time, he'd been the attentive husband she'd been asking for forever, making Buffy wonder if this was somehow her karma for what she did with Spike. Being around Riley now only served to remind her of what she'd done, but he was still her husband. She should try to enjoy being around him. "Sounds great, honey."

Riley kissed her. "Great. How about you go put something nice on, and we can go out to eat?"

Buffy smiled. "Give me…forty five minutes?"

Riley smiled back. "You got it, babe."

*** *** ***

Riley had taken Buffy out for dinner and dancing, being more romantic than she remembered him ever being before. She'd started the night off feeling guilty, but now as they were driving home, she felt angry. Why was he just now doing this? Why hadn't be been treating her this well their entire marriage? Sure, he was all sweet and suave now, but well, maybe it was too little too late.

When they got into the house, Buffy reached for the light switch, but Riley stopped her, taking her hand and lifting it to his lips. "I had a wonderful time with you tonight, Buffy. I forgot how amazingly beautiful you can be. You take my breath away."

Buffy could see from his eyes what he wanted, and she suddenly wanted anything but. She could still feel Spike's hands on her, taste his rough kisses. Would Riley know if he touched her? Would he be able to feel what Spike had burned into her skin? She felt her anger surge again. Why did Riley want her now, after rejecting her so many times in the past? She pulled her hand away. "Well, whose fault is that?"

Riley blinked. "Buffy…I…I thought we were having a good time." He gave her a pitiful expression.

The guilt returned. Buffy reminded herself she was the one in the wrong, not Riley. Why was she taking it out on him? But if he had been like this before, she probably wouldn't have done anything with Spike in the first place. Buffy felt her eyes tear, and she fought not to cry. "We were, I'm just…tired. Can we just go to sleep?"

Riley tried poorly to mask his disappointment. "Yeah, sure."

Buffy followed him silently into the bedroom.

*** *** ***

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