Chapter 1 – Daughter of Destiny


“You’re gonna be okay,” Angel whispered, crouched next to Darla’s huddled form and holding her hand in his.

“No,” Darla said tearfully. “No, I don’t think so. Once she’s gone, I won’t be okay. I won’t be okay at all…I don’t know what I’ll be.” Seeing the rain running off Angel’s face representing the tears that he obviously wanted to shed, she suddenly felt the panic run through her. “Angel,” she whispered. “Our baby is gonna die right here in this alley.” Feeling a sense of peace as she looked at him, she smiled at the memory. “You died in an alley…remember?”

“I remember,” he said in a choked voice.

“I want to say I'm sorry,” she whispered, staring at her protruding stomach. “I want to say it and mean it, but…I can't.” Pausing for a moment, Darla let an unsure smile play on her lips. “Aren't you gonna tell me it’s okay?”

Considering her for a brief moment, Angel shook his head.

“No.”

“No,” she repeated in understanding. “It’s really not, is it? We did so many terrible things together. So much destruction, so much…pain,” she said with a gasp as another contraction ran through her. “We can’t make up for any of it. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Angel replied after a moment.

“This child…Angel, it’s the one good thing we ever did together.”

Choking back the tears, he slowly lifted Darla’s hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it.

“The only good thing,” she continued as Angel dropped his eyes, pressing his forehead to her hand as he tried to keep his tears under control.

“You make sure to tell her that.”

Hearing a gasp, Angel felt his throat close up as the hand he was holding suddenly disintegrated to dust. Looking where Darla was laying just a moment ago, his eyes widened when he saw the tiny baby girl, lying in the rain, crying to be safe and warm as she was just a moment ago.

Staring at the newborn with a sense of wonder, Angel carefully picked up the baby and wrapped her in his coat, drying her off and keeping her warm.

* * * * *

“Everything seems to be in order,” the nurse said with a friendly smile, looking from Cordelia to the baby girl. “We just need a name.”

“Elizabeth,” Angel said with a smile as he walked into the area. “Her name is Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth Angel. Very well. Congratulations Mr. Angel,” the nurse said, making a note on her clipboard and walking away.

Picking up his daughter, he felt a sense of relief go through him that she was finally safe. The demons had been taken care of and nothing was left to threaten his little girl…for now.

* * * * *

“Angel, can we talk for a moment?” Wesley asked, poking his head out of the office as he watched the other man talk to his daughter.

“Yeah,” Angel replied, walking over to Cordelia and handing her the tiny bundle. “There you go,” he said in a soft voice, making sure the baby was safe and secure before he walked toward the office. “What’s going on, Wes?”

“You may want to sit down,” Wesley said quietly.

His face turning into a cold mask, Angel sat in the seat across from him. “What’s going on?”

“We need to talk about Elizabeth.”

“What about her? She’s happy, she’s healthy. She’s a normal baby girl.”

“Aside from barely being a month old and having a list of enemies,” Wesley replied.

“What are you saying?”

“I have no doubts that you can and will go to any lengths to protect her…but I think it’s time to discuss alternative measures for her.”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t think she’s safe here.”

“So we’ll move,” Angel replied, already standing up from his chair. “We’ll go somewhere and she’ll be safe.”

“You’re misunderstanding me,” he said with a shake of his head. “I don’t think she’s safe with you.”

Seeing the closed off expression come over Angel’s face, Wesley felt slightly alarmed but stood strong. He loved that little girl and he refused to back down from what he felt was right, even though he knew that Angel wouldn’t willingly part from her.

“What do you expect me to do, Wes?” he asked, his voice rising in anger. “Send her off to the nearest orphanage and hope that she doesn’t get taken in by an abusive or neglectful family?”

Ignoring the sarcasm that was laced through his tone, Wesley shook his head and handed Angel a piece of paper. Knowing that they could be monitored right now, he wasn’t about to be too cavalier in the information he was handing out.

Covering the paper with one hand, Angel looked at it, his frown deepening when he saw the simple letters.

R.G.

Motioning toward the door Angel practically stormed through the hotel with Wesley right behind him, earning a strange look from Cordelia as they passed.

Walking into the courtyard, Angel ran a hand over his face, trying to control his raging emotions. “What are you telling me to do?”

“Call Rupert,” Wesley said in a soft voice. “See if he would be willing to take her in or find a place for her to stay safe…change her name…sign over all rights.”

Feeling his chest tighten, Angel crumpled the note in his hand, closing his eyes as he tried to control his emotions. “And you think this will keep her safe?”

“I think it will keep her alive.”

Glancing through the doors of the hotel and seeing Cordelia walking the lobby with the little bundle in her arms. The bundle that he would do anything to protect.

“Make the call.”

* * * * *

Angel felt as if his heart was breaking. Looking around the room at the compassionate faces, he felt as if he was hyperventilating, shaking his head at the ridiculous thought.

“We’ll take good care of her, Angel,” Willow said with a gentle smile, walking over to the other man. “It’s what Lucy would have wanted.”

Closing his eyes at the mention of the Slayer he still loved, Angel nodded, choking back his emotions as he tried not to think of her taking the leap off the tower. Trying not to feel guilt at the fact that he should have been there.

Clearing his throat, Angel looked around the room, seeing everyone watching him- some compassionate, some indifferent, and more than one filled with pure hatred.

“What’s going on?” Angel asked, looking over at Giles. “Wesley didn’t fill me in on all of the details. He thought it would be safer if you did it.”

“Her last name is Summers for all medical and legal purposes,” he said, looking at the sleeping baby. “She will be living with Willow, Tara, and Dawn at Lucy’s…at the Hanover residence. Dawn has full ownership of the house, and Willow and Tara are the strongest ones to protect her if something should decide to come after her. The formal story is that she’s my sister’s daughter and I’ve passed her off to my own daughter to raise.” Giles gestured to Tara. “Tara’s not from Sunnydale, so it’s more believable that she would be a part of my family. Oh…and her name is Buffy,” he finished, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes at the ridiculous name that all of the women had picked out for the baby. He had easily lost the argument when they’d all ganged up on him, explaining that Buffy was derived from the name Elizabeth and she should have a name that was close to her own.

“Buffy,” Angel repeated with a nod, swallowing the lump in his throat as he handed her to Willow. “Take care of her.”

“We will,” she said with a smile, cooing at the baby as Tara, Dawn, and Anya crowded around her.

“Wes said it’s not safe for me to check on her too much,” Angel said to Giles, trying to choke back the tears. “There’s a cell phone number in her bag for emergencies only. I’ll come to town to check on her as much as I can, but that probably won’t be too often.”

Giles nodded, seeing the other man look longingly at the baby girl. He didn’t like Angel. He had good reason not to, considering he was nearly tortured to death at his hands, but he knew the pain of losing a child. The pain of losing Lucy was still too fresh in his heart and it had been nearly a year. He had tried to go back to England and was actually making the arrangements the day Wesley had called with the revelation that two vampires had managed to create a human baby girl. Knowing that he couldn’t turn down the opportunity to keep the baby safe, Giles had agreed to formulate a plan to get her to Sunnydale.

Angel tenderly kissed the top of his daughter’s head, whispering a tearful goodbye before turning to face the rest of the room, his gaze soon turning to the blonde vampire watching the entire interaction as he leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest with a bored expression on his face.

Summoning everything that he used to be, Angel stood straighter, calling on his presence as a Master Vampire, soul or no soul, as he pointed at Spike and then the door. With a heavy sigh, Spike pushed away from the wall and followed his grandsire outside.

“What is it, Gramps?” Spike asked, lighting a cigarette as soon as the night air hit his face.

“I don’t expect you to understand what I’m going through. I don’t expect you to know what it’s like to give up someone you love so much. To love someone enough to do anything to keep her safe-”

“Stop right there,” Spike growled, standing up straight and advancing on the other man. “I know exactly what it’s like, so don’t think for a second-”

“I’m not talking about Lucy,” Angel said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m talking about my daughter. I trust her with everyone in that room, and although I don’t trust you…I’m trusting that you’ll keep her safe.”

“What, you think just because I’ve done a couple of good deeds I’m all soul-having now?”

“No,” Angel replied, shaking his head. “But believe it or not, I’m actually trusting you to take care of her…at all costs.”

Spike sighed before nodding. “Consider it done.”

* * * * *

Buffy – Age 1

“Sp…Spike,” the little blonde announced proudly as she pointed at the vampire sitting in the chair, looking around the shop.

The rest of the Scoobies, dispersed around the Magic Box, stared in shock at the baby before they all turned their gaze to Spike.

“Please tell me that Captain Peroxide’s name was not Buffy’s first word,” Xander begged as Spike looked around the room with an amused expression.

“Who would have thought it, whelp?” Spike replied with a chuckle. “A one year old was able to learn my name before you. What’s that tell you about your brain function?”

* * * * *

Buffy – Age 5

“But I don’t wanna go to school,” the little girl whined with a winning pout. “Why can’t I just stay with Spike during the day? He’s fun and he can teach me things.”

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Giles said with a shake of his head. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“What does non-nag-o-table mean?” she asked, her pigtails tossed to the side as she tilted her head to study her Uncle Giles.

“Good job, Watcher,” Spike muttered from his place in the corner. “She hasn’t even started at the bloody school and you’re already teaching her the wrong vocabulary.”

“You said bloody,” Buffy said with an adorable giggle.

Spike ducked his head as Giles shot him a scathing glare while Buffy sang in the background.

“Bloody, bloody, bloody school. I’m not going to the bloody school.”

* * * * *

Buffy – Age 7

“Please, Spike,” Buffy begged with a falsely sweet grin.

“Not leaving this house, Princess,” Spike replied, shaking his head, his arms crossed over his chest.

“But you pwomised,” she said with wide eyes, her mispronunciation appearing even more adorable as a result. It still wasn’t enough to crack Spike’s defenses.

“I did no such thing. Have Red go with you.”

“She went last year,” she said, looking over at Willow and Tara, who were trying not to laugh at the flustered vampire. “And that’s because you pwomised you would go with me this year.”

Hearing a small sniffle come from her, Spike looked over, feeling his resolve fading away as he looked at her watery eyes, watching as she toyed with the hem of her little green dress. “Fine,” he muttered. “Let’s go.”

“Yay!” she cheered, the tearful eyes mysteriously disappearing as soon as she got her way. “Willow made you a costume, too. It’s in the bedroom.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, shooting Willow a deathly glare.

“But Spiiiikke,” Buffy whined. “I’m Tinker Bell, and if we’re going trick-or-treating, you have to be Peter Pan.”

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered, his face dropping into his hands in defeat.

* * * * *

Buffy – Age 10

“Daddy!” Buffy cried, flying into Angel’s arms as soon as he stepped out of his car. “You’re late,” she said in a mock scolding voice.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Angel said. “I got held up and couldn’t make it out of town until a few hours ago.”

“Vampires?”

Angel sighed, wishing that his ten-year-old daughter didn’t know the evils of this world at such a young age. “Yeah,” he said with a nod, seeing the entire gang walk out of the house.

“How’d you kill ‘em?” she asked, her natural curiosity shining through.

“I, uh, I don’t think I should be telling you.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Buffy said with a dismissive toss of her hand. “Spike’s teaching me how to fight. He says I’m a natural at shooting the crossbow.”

Angel’s expression immediately darkened. “SPIKE!”

Nothing was visible, except the flash of blonde hair and the sound of laughter hanging in the air.

* * * * *

Buffy – Age 13

“Where are you going, Princess?” Spike asked, looking her up and down when she answered the door.

“School dance,” she replied, smiling at Spike as he walked through the house and sat down on the couch.

“Is that a fact?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yep,” she replied, following him into the living room. “How do I look?”

Taking in the simple pink dress that fell to her knees and gave her a more innocent look with the capped sleeves, Spike shrugged. “You look good, pet.”

A sad look seemed to cross her face before she quickly turned away. Spike was about to comment when Willow walked into the room.

“Hey, Red,” he said with a smile.

“Hi, Spike,” she said with a friendly smile before turning to Buffy. “Are you ready? He should be here any minute.”

“Yep, ready to go.”

“Wait,” Spike said in confusion. “He?”

“Yeah,” Willow said with an excited hop. “Buffy has her first date.”

“And why wasn’t I told about this?”

“Because we knew you’d go into overprotective mode, like you are right now,” Dawn said with a smile as she walked into the room.

“She’s only thirteen,” Spike continued indignantly. “She’s too young to date.”

“Exactly- thirteen!” Buffy replied, her arms crossed over her chest. “As in teenager. I was asked to a dance and I’m going.”

“And who is this ponce?” he asked, standing up and walking over to her.

“His name’s Trevor,” she replied, fixing her make-up in the small mirror on the wall.

Hearing the knock on the door, Spike’s vampiric speed sent him flying across the room, pulling open the door to reveal a nervous-looking boy, clutching a box in his hands.

“Who are you?” he asked, knowing exactly who this boy was but wanting to scare him all the same.

“T-Trevor.”

“What are your intentions?”

“Spike!”

Hiding the cringe as three irritated voices sounded off behind him, Spike shot a glare over his shoulder before turning back to the boy and letting his voice drop to a whisper. “You do anything to her and you’ll have to deal with me,” he said softly, briefly letting his demon face flash to the surface and smiling as the boy jumped. He could almost see his mind wondering if what he had just seen was his imagination.

“Bye,” Buffy called to the women in the house before pulling Spike’s arm to get him to drop the intimidating stance. Walking past him, she smiled at Trevor and gratefully accepted the box that was now dented from the pressure he was putting to it.

“Who’s that?” he whispered to Buffy, taking a step back when Spike’s vampire hearing picked up on the statement and he took a step forward.

“Who, Spike? He’s no one,” she replied dismissively, shooting him a look as the warning growl rolled through the air. “I’ll meet you at the car,” she said with a smile, flinching when Trevor took off at a run before turning to face Spike. “Well?” she asked. “Aren’t you going to tell me to have fun?”

“Why?” he asked, crossing his arms as he looked at her. “I’m no one, remember?”

Closing the distance between them, Buffy gave him a winning smile before standing on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek. “You know I love you,” she said with a soft smile before her thoughts drifted. ‘You just don’t know how much.’


 

Chapter 2 – Unmixy Relationships


“I guess everything changes tomorrow,” Buffy said softly, slowly pacing among the headstones in the cemetery.

“What makes you say that, pet?” Spike asked, glancing at her before turning back to scan the area.

“Senior year…first day of school…ringing any bells?”

“Oh, um, right. Yeah, course.”

“You didn’t remember,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes to cover up the pang of hurt she felt that he didn’t remember something so important in her life.

“I did,” Spike replied indignantly. “I just forgot, that’s all.”

“And another word for forgetting is- not remembering,” she retaliated, hopping up on a tombstone.

“That’s two words,” he said with a smirk.

“Here’s another two: smart ass,” she muttered with a smile.

“And why are you out this late on a school night, anyway?”

Briefly looking like a deer caught in the headlights, Buffy froze before shrugging. “Why not?” she asked. “I get to work on my fighting skills and spend time with one of my favorite vampires in the process. It seems like a winning situation to me.”

“Yeah, and if Red finds out I have you out patrolling this late, she’ll have my head. Let’s get you home.”

“Home?” Buffy repeated in shock. “It’s not even midnight.”

“No, but it’s a school night.”

“Oh please. I hate that expression,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “‘School night’ is just a term for old fogies to use because they want to feel young again by staying up later than the kids.”

“Hey! Are you saying that’s me?”

“If the shoe fits,” Buffy replied with a smirk.

“Vampire, remember? I think it’s fairly safe to say that I stay up later than you every night.”

“Alright,” she finally conceded. “I’ll give you that one.”

“Come on, Goldilocks. I’m taking you home.”

Buffy gave a resigned sigh, accepting her fate.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked with an amused grin.

“I just get sick of everyone treating me like a kid,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well,” he said slowly. “That’s because you are, princess.”

“Hello! Last time I checked, there wasn’t a lot that’s kid-like about me. I’ve been on dates, I’m about to graduate, I have boobs,” she said, gesturing to her chest.

‘God, don’t look,’ Spike thought, turning to look in the direction of the pretend noise that he just ‘heard’.

“I’m almost old enough to vote and buy cigarettes and I think it’s safe to say that I could have slept with my fair share of guys by now.”

Hearing the warning growl that was ripped from Spike’s throat, Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Not that I have. God, you’re worse than Dad.”

“Take that back,” Spike said, narrowing his eyes.

“Why?” Buffy challenged, crossing her arms over her chest and turning to face him. “You both worry too much and hit the roof over the littlest things. Maybe I should go out and sleep with someone, just get it out of the way, and then everyone can stop worrying.”

“You see?” he said, pointing at her to prove his point. “This is why people treat you like a kid. Because you’re acting like a spoiled brat.”

Seeing the pitiful look that crossed over her face, Spike immediately regretted the tactless remark.

“I’m sorry, kitten,” he whispered, feeling a pain in his heart when she began to walk away.

He knew he was wrong. Buffy was remarkably mature for her age. She’d already seen and battled more evil in this world than most people knew existed, proving to be a strong fighter when she needed to be. He couldn’t imagine what her life was really like behind the carefully crafted façade that she kept up twenty-four hours a day. He knew that Willow and Tara were trying their best. Dawn still made regular trips to the house, despite the fact that she was married and living in a different town. Giles was a constant figure in her life, and Xander and Anya provided a home that always welcomed her.

Spike made it known that she could stop by his crypt any chance she got, but he knew that behind the tough exterior was a girl who was screaming at the injustice that she’d been dealt. The daughter of two vampires, conceived out of hatred, her mother had to kill herself in order for her to live, her father had to virtually abandon her, even though it was the last thing he wanted, but he knew he had to keep her safe. She was merely trying to be a girl in this mixed up world that she knew as her life. But the fact remained that in spite of all of the love she’d always had, she still wanted the constant stability of her father in her life. She was lucky if she saw him a few times a year and Spike knew that every year it chipped away at who she really was, pushing the person she pretended to be further out of reach. She wasn’t a girl- she was a woman who hadn’t experienced enough of the right things in the world to have earned that title. She’d experienced enough to be called a warrior, and Spike wished that he could take everything away and turn her into the girl she was meant to be. Let her be someone who can experience the world with open eyes and bask in the light, not worry about what was hiding in the shadows.

“Buffy-”

“When does the Slayer get here?” she asked, cutting him off and trying to change the subject.

“Couple of days,” Spike muttered, still feeling bad for the comment.

“It’s going to be a little weird.”

“Why’s that, pet?”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve ever met any,” Buffy said with a shrug. “This is the first time the newest Slayer has been sent to the Hellmouth. It’s just going to take some getting used to.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, reaching into his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes.

“You nervous?”

“Why would I be nervous?” Spike asked too quickly.

“Well…considering the chip malfunctioned a few years ago, I think I’d be a little nervous if a Slayer showed up with the intent of wiping out all the vampires…not that it’s a bad thing,” she added with a frown.

“I think I’d be more nervous if the chip was still working,” he said with a smile. “No way to defend myself if she decided to get stake-happy.”

“So…what are they like?” Buffy asked.

“What do you mean?”

“All I know is that they’re super strong.”

“Yeah, uh…strong,” he repeated with a nod. “Cunning, resourceful, smart, tiny-”

“Tiny?” Buffy asked with a frown.

“The four that I’ve seen.”

“Right,” Buffy said with a nod, seeing her house in the distance. “Do you still love her, Spike?”

“Who?”

“Are you really going to play dumb with me?”

“Lucy,” he muttered in understanding. “I guess I always will.”

“And that doesn’t bother you that anyone you could be with in the future would have to compete with a ghost?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Spike said with a shrug. “It’s been seventeen years. I guess it depends on if it bothers the woman who falls in love with me.”

‘It does,’ she thought miserably.

 

Chapter 3 – Maybe…


It started off simply enough. She wasn’t even aware of the difference in her feelings until it was quite possibly too late. From the time Buffy was a little girl, Spike was always someone to turn to. A confidant, a person she could trust, but most of all, he was her best friend. It wasn’t until she was a teenager that she realized her feelings were running on the warm and fuzzy side for a vampire. Not that it was entirely unexpected- after all, she had grown up knowing who and what vampires were, and considering she was a child of two vampires, it was expected that she would either be repelled by them or attracted to them.

Of course, when people used the term ‘attracted’, they had meant it in the most innocent of contexts, simply assuming that she would have a built-in ‘Slayer sense’ to accompany the added strength when a vamp was around, despite the fact that she wasn’t a Slayer. They never expected that she would actually be attracted to a vampire.

Then she had opened her eyes and really looked at Spike. The man she considered her protector until she was thirteen. From that point on, the ‘protector’ role was getting a little old. She knew at that age that she was too young for him to take any type of interest in her- she wasn’t an idiot. Buffy also knew that maybe someday she would get a chance. That maybe someday she would be able to crack through the walls that Lucy’s untimely death and unrequited love had built up and maybe…just maybe, she would be able to reach the man inside.

The day of her seventeenth birthday, Buffy had finally allowed some hope to bloom that she could tell Spike how she felt about him. Until he’d shown up that day and tugged on her hair, saying, “Happy birthday, kid.”

That’s all she ever was to him, and that’s all she feared she would ever be. She knew that a man who’d been around for over a century wouldn’t have much in common with a seventeen-year-old girl, but in her young mind, she couldn’t imagine anyone else but herself being more perfect for him.

After all, she was smart, she made him laugh when no one else could even get a smile from him, and it was obvious to anyone that she’d made him feel free to love again. Just not the kind of love she hoped she would receive.

No, Buffy knew that she was nothing more to him than a kid. A responsibility. Or possibly a burden. Spike was strapped to her because of her father and a blood relationship that Angel had called upon when she was a baby. She knew that Spike wouldn’t want her to consider their relationship in that light. She also knew that he would go to any lengths to protect her and that he considered himself to be her family when she had none who were close. And that thought, mixed with all of the others, was more than a little disturbing to her.

Now, sitting on her front porch swing, she was surprised to feel his presence as he approached. She was more in tune with him than anyone she’d ever known and it never ceased to surprise her.

“Hello, Spike,” she said, a soft smile playing on her lips. Never bothering to look up when she felt him come to stand at the edge of the porch, she could feel his eyes on her as he leaned against the railing.

“Evening, pet,” he murmured, crushing his cigarette under the heel of his boot. “Rough day?”

“No,” Buffy replied, finally looking up at him before turning to stare at the stars. “I actually had a pretty good day.”

Spike nodded, walking up the steps to sit down next to her, never noticing when she unconsciously leaned toward him.

“School wasn’t too rough on you, then?” he asked, throwing his arm across the back of the swing.

Buffy suppressed the sigh, wishing that he would throw his arm around her with such ease. Instead she just shrugged. “Could have been worse.”

“Then what’s with the gloom and doom face?”

“No reason,” she murmured.

“Alright then. Ready to go meet this new Slayer?” Spike asked, thinking that she might perk up if he changed the subject.

“I guess,” she replied, standing up.

“What’s the matter, kitten?” he asked, catching her arm before she could step off the porch. “I’ve known you your whole life and this is definitely not one of your usual moods.”

“It’s nothing,” Buffy replied with a smile that was obviously for his benefit. “Really. I just had a stressful day, I guess.”

“Fair enough,” Spike muttered, walking down the steps and matching her strides as they slowly made their way to the Magic Box.

“Who sent you this time?” Buffy asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

“What makes you think-”

“Spike,” she replied in a warning tone.

“Willow,” he muttered with a small smile. “Stopped by yesterday and asked if I could make sure you got there okay.” Glancing over at the young woman, Spike tilted his head. “What’s the long face for, pet?”

“What?” Buffy asked, snapping out of her thought. “Oh, um…nothing…it was nothing.”

Spike nodded as they continued toward the shop. Buffy hugged her arms around her body more firmly, wishing that every once in a while, Spike would come and walk with her because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated or because he was doing a favor for someone.

“What do we know about this Slayer?” Spike asked, never seeing the dejected look on Buffy’s face.

“Only what Willow told me last night,” she said with a shrug. “Her name’s Aubrey. She’s nineteen and she’s been the Slayer for three years. Council told her to come Hellmouth-sitting, for some reason or other, and here she is. Why do you want to know?” she asked, glancing over at him for a moment.

“Just figured if this bird is here for the long haul, we should know about her, that’s all,” Spike said with a shrug. Finally noticing the look on Buffy’s face, he reached over and wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry, pet. You know you’ll always be my best girl.”

“Yeah,” Buffy scoffed. “Because my dad would totally kick your ass if I wasn’t.”

Stopping abruptly and turning her to face him, Spike looked deep into her eyes, still amazed at how expressive they seemed to be for a seventeen-year-old. Obviously someone who had seen more than she should have, for her age.

“Is that really what you think?” he asked softly, tilting his head to look at her.

“Isn’t it?” she muttered, looking away and closing her eyes when she felt his finger hook under her chin.

“No,” he said, his brows knit together in worry. “Maybe when you were little, but now I’m here because I want to be.” Seeing the soft smile that graced her features, Spike smiled. “You worked your way in, Goldilocks. You’re family now. Come on,” he said, turning toward the town. “Let’s get there before they send out the search party.”

Buffy felt her heart sink at the implications. Family was good, but she was hoping for something better.

 

Chapter 4 – Changes


Walking into the Magic Box, Buffy felt any semblance of a good mood slip away when she saw the new girl sitting there. She practically exuded power and it was obvious, to Buffy anyway, that she was the Slayer.

Walking further into the shop, Buffy felt her stomach drop when the Slayer turned around and her eyes lit up as they settled on Spike. Buffy knew that he was tense under the scrutiny of the other woman’s gaze and turned toward him with a soft smile, feeling butterflies flying through her stomach when he returned the look, only mildly irritated when Giles interrupted the small moment they were having.

“Good, you’re here. We can begin,” he said, walking out of the back room and offering Buffy a smile that she hesitantly returned.

“Hi, Buffy,” Willow said with a smile. “Hey, Spike.”

“Red,” he replied, nodding at her and Tara before focusing his attention on the girl sitting at the table next to Anya.

“Buffy, Spike- this is Aubrey the vampire Slayer,” Giles said, gesturing to the stranger.

Glancing at the other blonde woman, Buffy was surprised at the slight resemblance that they seemed to share. It was all superficial- merely some similarities of hair and eye color, since the other girl was apparently taller than Buffy. But it was a little unnerving to see Spike looking at her in a way that he’d never looked at Buffy, even though they shared a comparable appearance. She was only mildly relieved that he didn’t seem to be looking at her with lust in his eyes but with a mixture of curiosity and admiration of her obvious strength.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, giving them both a slight smile, which Buffy tried her hardest to return.

“Yeah,” she said, boosting herself up onto the counter and earning an irritated look from Giles. “You, too,” she said softly, ignoring the older man.

“Well, now that everyone’s here,” Xander said, looking at the newest addition. “Maybe you can tell us what apocalypse we’re about to face.”

“No apocalypse,” Aubrey replied, shaking her head. “The Council just decided that the Hellmouth had been without a Slayer for too long, so here I am.”

“So, no big nasty, then?” Spike finally spoke up, earning the attention of everyone in the room. “No demons made of stone, waiting to swallow the world? No Frankenstein/human hybrids? No Hell Gods?”

“Not that I know of,” Aubrey said with a nervous smile, shaking her head as she looked around the room.

“Sorry for the third degree,” Willow said, giving the other Slayer a gentle smile. “It’s just…it’s been a while since the last Big Bad threatened to destroy the world and I guess we’re feeling behind on our quota.”

“I get that,” Aubrey said with a nod. “I go a little stir-crazy if I can’t get out there and kick some vampire ass…no offense,” she added, glancing at Spike. “They kind of filled me in on your whole deal.”

“’S’alright,” he said with a nod. “I’ve dusted more than my fair share.”

“Where are you staying?” Anya asked, checking her nails without looking up at the group.

“The Sun Spot Motel,” Aubrey said.

“No, that’s silly,” Willow replied, shaking her head. “You can stay with us. There’s plenty of room.”

“I-I don’t want to impose,” Aubrey said, shaking her head nervously.

“No imposition,” Tara spoke up. “We have an extra room ever since Dawn moved out and it would be silly for you to pay money when we have the space.”

“I don’t want to keep you up when I come in from patrolling.”

“It’s not a problem,” Willow said with a smile, never seeing the sulking look on Buffy’s face.

“Speaking of which, they’re probably out in full force by now,” Buffy spoke up, looking at Spike. “We should probably head out.”

The hopeful tone in her voice went unnoticed by everyone in the room, except the new Slayer, who gave Buffy a soft smile of understanding at wanting to work off whatever frustrations she had on the demon population.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea tonight, pet,” Spike said, tilting his head toward Buffy. “It’s a school night.”

Spike was ready for a lot of things at any time, but the darkening of Buffy’s features was more than a little shocking to him. He never expected that kind of reaction from the girl who obviously held him in such high esteem.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern.

“I’m not a kid,” she replied softly, hopping down from the counter to stand in front of him. “I know that you always think of me as one, but considering it’s not even nine o’clock, I think it’s safe for me to stay up for a few hours.”

The adults in the room each exchanged glances as Buffy glared at Spike, all of them assuming that she was going through a typical teenage rebellion. Not one of them seemed to be reading into her actual feelings and emotions of the situation.

Waiting for a moment to see if Spike was going to say anything else, she could easily read the confusion in his eyes. With a frustrated sigh, Buffy turned and walked toward the door.

“Buffy!”

Stopping with her hand outstretched for the doorknob, she felt her chin quiver at the fact that the tone of voice was telling her to stop. And the voice was Willow’s.

“Yeah?” she asked, not bothering to turn around as the redheaded witch ran up to her.

“You really shouldn’t be out alone. Do you want me to walk with you?”

“No,” she replied in a hardened voice, trying to take a deep breath and get over the fact that every person in this room saw her as a kid. “I’ve been training to fight anything that gets in my way for the last seven years…I think I can handle walking home alone.”

“Alright,” Willow said, trying to appease the younger girl with a soft smile. “Be careful.”

“Always am,” she replied, walking out the door without a backward glance.

* * * * *

Buffy lay on her bed twenty minutes later, trying to find a cure for her boredom. She really shouldn’t have thrown a mini-tantrum during the meeting.

‘You want to be seen as an adult and then you isolate yourself by acting like a kid,’ she thought, throwing her stuffed pig Mr. Gordo into the air and catching him on every downfall before pausing to look at his squishy face. ‘And everything around you is babyish.’

Throwing the pig against the wall, Buffy jumped up from her bed and proceeded to take down the posters and childhood memorabilia from every available surface, tossing them all to the back of her closet before catching a glimpse of her clothes and letting a smile curve her lips.

Things were definitely going to change.


 

Chapter 5 – What’s it Take?


Letting her hips undulate with the beat of the music, Buffy finally allowed herself to relax, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder and feeling the music wash over her.

After she had cleaned out her room, she had proceeded to change into a halter top and a pair of leather pants, slipping out of the house before Willow and Tara had returned from the Scooby meeting.

Now that she was at the Bronze, she let all of the stress fall away, ridding her mind of Spike, of the new Slayer, and most of all, being called a ‘kid’ over and over again. Feeling a pair of hands settle on her hips, Buffy resisted her normal urge of brushing away the pursuer and instead turned around, offering a smile to the college guy behind her.

Raising her arms above her head, she tossed him a flirty smile, enjoying the rare chance that she had to be a girl and not have to worry about vampires or Hellmouths.

‘Considering they treat me like a kid most of the time, you’d think they would have kept a portion of purity intact instead of letting me grow up to know the ways of the world.’

Even as the thought flitted through her head, Buffy knew she was being petty and selfish. She was the child of two vampires- chances are she would have figured it out on her own, and then she would be mad that they didn’t trust her enough to tell her.

Clearing her mind of all serious thoughts, Buffy wrapped her arms around the frat boy’s neck and gave him a coy smile as she teasingly moved her hips against his. Arching an eyebrow in his direction, she swallowed a gasp when she felt her arm seized in a harsh grip, barely comprehending what was happening as she was dragged through the club.

Finally getting her bearings, Buffy jerked her arm out of the bruising hold just before they reached the door, looking at Spike with an angry gaze. “What the hell are you doing?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“What the hell am I doing?!” Spike repeated, staring at her as if she’d gone insane. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

“Free country,” Buffy muttered, turning back to the dance floor and groaning when she was once again grabbed and pulled out the door.

“Do Willow and Tara know you’re here?” Spike asked after the door slammed shut behind them, leaving them to talk in private.

“No, Dad,” she said through clenched teeth.

“Don’t call me that,” he growled.

“Why not?” Buffy asked, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head to look at him. “You’re constantly insisting that I’m a kid, you’re always checking up on me when Willow tells you to, and you think that I can’t take care of myself. Can you think of a better adjective to use?”

“Don’t,” he repeated. “I’m taking you home.”

“No, you’re not,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “I’m a big girl and I’m doing what I want. I don’t go around asking you what you’re doing here- maybe I should, and then you’ll know how annoying it is- what are you doing here, Spike?”

“I was showing Aubrey around,” he muttered, watching as Buffy’s eyes hardened even more.

“Well, what do you know,” she replied in a condescending voice. “I’m too young to be out, but the new girl isn’t.”

“It’s not like that, Buffy.”

“What do you care?” she asked, turning away from him and walking toward the end of the alley.

“Where are you going?” Spike called after her, quickly catching up to her.

“I’m going home. That’s what you wanted, right? To get all tucked safe and sound into bed? Or should I just go find the guy I was dancing with?”

“You’re not going back to find that wanker,” he said in a low voice.

“God, you’re such a hypocrite,” she cried, throwing her arms up in the air. “Maybe you should just dictate my life from now on- would that make you happy?”

“No, and…what the hell are you wearing?!” Spike yelled, pulling her into the dim light that was spilling into the alley from the street.

“See what I mean? The world’s number one hypocrite, ladies and gentleman,” Buffy said, gesturing angrily toward him as if she was talking to a crowd. “How many girls my age have you checked out when they’ve been dressed like this, and yet somehow I’m different?”

“Yes,” he said in a menacing tone.

“Why? Because you know me?” she asked before a slow smile spread on her lips. Taking a step closer to him, she widened her eyes, giving herself a more innocent appearance. “What’s the matter, Spike?” she asked in a whisper, walking toward him until he was pressed against the wall, his head tilted to study her. “Did you finally notice I’ve grown up?”

“What are you doing, Buffy?”

“What does it look like?” she asked with a naïve expression. “Don’t like the idea that you’re thinking about me differently?”

“How do you know my thoughts have changed?” he asked in a voice that didn’t sound like his own.

“Maybe they haven’t,” Buffy said with a shrug. “Maybe your feelings for me haven’t changed at all…but I have.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, what I’m saying,” she replied with a sigh, glancing toward the closed door of the club. “Don’t you have a date waiting?”

“No,” Spike said, his brows knit together in confusion. “I don’t.”

“Well, whatever you consider the Slayer to be,” she said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear before turning away from him.

“Buffy,” he called after her, waiting until she turned around before speaking. “What’s happening, pet?”

“Don’t you get it?” she asked in an exasperated voice. “Are you so blind that you can’t even see what’s right in front of your face? I’m growing up, Spike. Whether you and everyone else like it or not, it’s going to happen. So get your head out of your ass and notice already,” she cried before turning around and disappearing around the corner, leaving a stunned vampire in her wake.

Walking for a block, Buffy finally let the trembling take over as she realized what she’d just said. She knew that Spike would rationalize what she’d said- he’d think that she wanted him to notice that she was growing up instead of actually noticing her.

Running her shaky hands through her hair, Buffy sighed. “What’s it take?”



 

Chapter 6 – So Close…So Far


Quietly walking into her house, Buffy took off her shoes before slowly making her way up the stairs. Hearing one of them creak, she paused, biting her lip as she continued the rest of the way. Breathing a sigh of relief when she got to the second floor, Buffy let her shoulders droop, pushing open her bedroom door. Her eyes widened when she saw Willow and Tara sitting on her bed, each wearing a look of maternal concern and disappointment.

“When you’re done trying to sneak into the house, we’d like to talk to you,” Willow said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sighing as she dropped her shoes into the corner, Buffy was mildly surprised that they didn’t seem to be more worried about her.

“Buffy, we don’t like you running off in the middle of the night,” Tara said in a gentle tone.

“I didn’t…it’s not the middle of the night,” Buffy argued weakly.

“Why were you at the Bronze on a school night?” Willow asked softly.

“Because I…you were spying on me?” she asked in disbelief when she realized what Willow just said.

“No,” Tara said quickly, shaking her head.

“We did a locator spell,” Willow added.

“So you were spying on me,” Buffy repeated, looking between the two women.

“No,” Tara repeated. “W-we were just…checking up on you.”

“Please don’t try to rationalize it,” she said quietly. “Bottom line- maybe I wanted to leave before you got back, but I can take care of myself. You’ve raised me to defend myself, so what are you so worried about?”

“We’re worried about you, Buffy,” Willow said.

“And you’re not telling me why,” she replied, becoming exasperated.

“Where is all of this hostility coming from?” Willow asked softly.

“There is no…”

Buffy trailed off, trying to get her thoughts in order before she continued.

“…I just want to be treated like everyone else,” she said softly. “I’m sorry if I worried you, I really am, but…do you understand that you expect me to act like an adult and yet you treat me like a child?”

Both women seemed to contemplate what she was saying, and Buffy watched as they exchanged looks before coming to a silent decision.

“We can talk about this later,” Tara finally said, giving Buffy a warm smile, which she struggled to return. “You should get some rest.”

Waiting until the women left the room, she finally breathed a sigh, relieved that they hadn’t mentioned her clothes. Of course, she wasn’t stupid enough to believe that they never would- she was fully expecting another lecture in the morning- but it was nice to have a night off.

Quickly undressing and slipping on her white satin pajama pants and buttoning the matching top, Buffy was about to climb into bed when she heard the door shut downstairs. Frowning as she stood up, she quietly walked out the door and headed toward the stairs when she heard voices.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

Her frown deepened as Spike’s voice floated toward her, quickly walking halfway down the stairs and seeing him standing with Willow and Tara in the living room.

“I find her plastered to some poof at the bloody club. Practically shagging as they’re dancing, and then she gets mad at me for dragging her out of the soddin’ place.”

“She’s going through a lot, Spike,” Tara said, ever the mediator of the group.

“Well, that doesn’t excuse her for going around and acting like a trollop,” he muttered.

Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes as her advanced hearing picked up on his quiet comment before turning and running back up the stairs, slamming the door of her bedroom behind her.

Curling up on her bed, she clutched Mr. Gordo to her chest, the one thing that had survived her room’s makeover, and let the tears slowly trail down her cheeks. Hearing a soft knock on the door, Buffy shook her head, wishing everyone would just leave her alone.

“Go away,” she yelled, her voice choked with tears.

The creak of the door opening had her squeezing her eyes shut and holding onto the stuffed pig with brutal force.

“I don’t want anymore lectures tonight,” she murmured when the door closed.

“I’m guessing you heard?”

Her entire body tensed when she heard Spike’s voice behind her. “What? That you think I’m a slut? Yeah…caught that conversation.”

Feeling the bed dip as Spike sat down, Buffy moved closer to the edge, not wanting to be near him right now. She could feel his fingers weave through her silky hair and gently thread through the strands, effectively relaxing her.

“I never said that,” he finally whispered.

“Yes, you did,” Buffy said softly, unconsciously leaning into his touch without looking at him. “I was practically ‘shagging’ on the dance floor, remember?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his hand never stopping the movement through her hair. “And my point was…you’re better than that.”

Turning over to look at him for the first time, Buffy was surprised at how close he was. She could feel her breathing become labored as she moistened her lips, feeling her heart begin to race when his gaze watched her as her tongue swept over her lips. Slowly angling his head toward hers, Spike’s eyes searched her face for any hint of resistance.

Hesitantly leaning forward, Buffy let her eyes drift shut as they closed the distance between them. Feeling the barest caress of his lips against hers, she felt as if her heart was going to explode before guiltily jumping apart when the knock sounded throughout the room.

Spike was practically halfway to the door when it opened, revealing Willow’s smiling face. “Everything okay?” she asked, looking at the blonde vampire.

“Yeah,” Spike muttered, running his hand through his hair and simultaneously freeing the curls from the restrictive gel. “I, uh…I better…go.”

Watching as he practically ran from the room, Buffy waited until she heard the slamming of the front door before saying goodnight to Willow.

Alone in her room again, she let her fingertips brush across her lips, amazed at the tingling that was still running through her body. She probably should have been a little upset that he couldn’t seem to get out of there fast enough, but the memory of the lightest touch of his lips against hers was enough to temper any sensitive emotions.

 

Chapter 7 – Playing Games





It would have been a lot easier to stay in a good mood about the kissing situation if Spike hadn’t gone above and beyond the call of duty to avoid her. It had been two weeks and she hadn’t seen him once. Not at the Scooby meetings, not at her home, and not even at his crypt when she had stopped by a week ago.



Even then, Buffy would have been able to hold onto a sliver of happiness at the fact that they had been so close. That was until she had followed Aubrey out on patrol the other night and seen her meet up with him. Her heart had dropped into her stomach at the mere sight of them doing something that Buffy used to take for granted. She always thought she would be the one to patrol with Spike, but apparently the daughter of a vampire couldn’t compare with the vampire Slayer.



That’s when she told herself that things would change…again.



* * * * *



Walking through the streets of Sunnydale, Buffy tried to remain upbeat as she talked to her date. Brad had been asking her out, off and on, for the past year and she had always remained adamant about not taking him up on any offers, but that was before the ‘New Buffy’ took effect. Now, she didn’t see the harm in going to a movie and getting something to eat. She was only moderately surprised that she was actually having a good time. There was nothing bad about her date, but she definitely didn’t see any future possibilities.



‘You’re seventeen,’ she thought to herself as they walked in the direction of her house from the Espresso Pump. ‘You don’t need to be worried about future possibilities- just be worried about current possibilities.’



“Hey,” Brad suddenly broke into her thoughts with an excited voice. “Have you ever been to a cemetery at night?”



Looking up at him, Buffy let a soft smile play on her lips. “I can’t remember,” she said with seeming innocence.



“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing her hand and leading her across the street to one of the larger graveyards.



Buffy was moderately relieved that Spike didn’t live there, but she did know that there was usually some kind of vampire activity in this particular cemetery.



“I-I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” she said, keeping an eye on her surroundings and subtly double-checking that she had a stake safely tucked away in her pocket.



“You’re not scared, are you?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll protect you.”



Her lips tightened at the sexist remark, but she kept her mouth shut, choosing to ignore it.



“There are just a lot of weird people who hang out in cemeteries,” she said, trying to make him see that this idea wasn’t a very good one.



“It’ll be okay,” Brad replied with an easy smile. “Come on.”



Leading her in a winding trail through the tombstones, Buffy made sure to watch every movement and listen to every rustle that sounded around her.



“This place looks good,” he said with a smile.



“L-looks good?” she repeated, feeling unsettled when he gently placed his hands on her hips and pushed her against a mausoleum. “Brad…what are you doing?” she whispered, tensing up when she felt his lips on her neck and raising her shoulder to ward off his advances.



“What does it look like?” he asked, pulling back to look at her with a smile.



Forcing herself to relax, Buffy took a deep breath. ‘This is a right of passage,’ she thought to herself, stopping any urge she had of pushing him away. ‘This isn’t going to go any farther than you’re willing to let it go…you can beat this guy to a bloody pulp if he tries to push you into something.’



Nearly smiling at the thought, she relaxed against him, trying not to think that the simple feel of Spike’s lips barely brushing against hers was more exciting than anything Brad could do for her.



Feeling him move toward her again, Buffy gently pushed him away, offering a soft smile when he gave her a questioning look. “I don’t like people touching my neck,” she said softly, thinking that this was a valid point, considering she was the child of two vampires…of course she wasn’t going to tell him that.



When his lips brushed against hers, Buffy forced herself to relax and go with it, immediately tensing up a few moments later.



“Buffy?”



Slowly pulling away- and feeling an immediate sense of relief- she turned toward the familiar voice, seeing Spike standing in front of her, obviously sizing up the man with her.



“What are you doing here?” he asked in a cold voice.



“What’s it look like?” Brad spoke up, obviously becoming intimidated when Spike’s icy gaze turned toward him. “Is this your dad or something?” he whispered to Buffy.



She would have laughed if it didn’t flash through her mind that Spike was a very unchipped, soulless vampire. A fact that she continuously forgot since he chose to fight the good fight, but with the look of murder in his eyes, Buffy knew she would have to handle this carefully.



“Or something,” she replied softly, stepping between the two men. “Can you wait here?” she asked Brad, who hesitantly nodded.



Spike waited until Buffy walked past him before tearing his gaze away from the other man and following her.



“What are you doing?” he asked when they were a few feet away.



“I’m on a date,” she whispered, crossing her arms over her chest.



“In a graveyard?”



“No,” Buffy replied. “At the movies. This was…a detour,” she finished with a smile.



“Detour?” he questioned, arching an eyebrow at her casual reply.



“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me,” she said, turning away from him, only to have him grab her arm. Quickly pulling free from his grasp, Buffy turned back to him with an irritated look. “What? You want to play the angry father now?”



“I told you not to call me that,” he said in a low voice.



“Yeah,” Buffy said with a shrug. “I guess there would be kind of an ick factor, what with the kissage and all.”



“It was-”



“A mistake?” she interrupted, giving him a bright smile as she patted his shoulder in a condescending manner. “Right there with you, big guy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date.”



Taken aback by her obvious dismissal, Spike turned to watch her as she walked back to her date.



“We should probably go,” she said with a bright smile that was obviously for Spike’s benefit. “I forgot that I promised to be home early tonight.”



“Alright,” Brad said softly, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her through the cemetery.



“Buffy,” Spike called after her with frustration evident in his voice.



“Don’t worry about me, Spike,” Buffy replied, turning around to walk backwards and look at him, giving him a huge smile. “I’ll be fine. See you around.”



Spike stood in shock as Buffy turned around without another glance. He didn’t want to question why it hurt that she would just ignore him and ignore the moment that they had shared a few weeks ago.



‘That’s what you wanted her to do,’ he thought to himself. ‘It was wrong…that’s why you’ve stayed away for so long. You were the one who wanted her to not make a big deal about it.’



Then why did it bother him so much?



* * * * *



Buffy’s good mood had quickly evaporated by the time she reached her front porch. After practically playing Twenty Questions with Brad about who Spike was and lying through the majority of the answers, she was ready to curl up with a movie and enjoy some alone time.



Leaving him with a chaste kiss on the cheek, Buffy practically ran into her house, wanting to forget all about her date and really wanting to forget about running into Spike.



‘He’s everywhere,’ she thought as she walked into her bathroom and began washing off her make-up before shaking her head. ‘No, he’s everywhere that you don’t want him to be. When you want to see him, he’s nowhere to be found.’



She did feel a twinge of regret that she had lied to him. She did consider the kiss to be a big deal, but if he wanted to play the game this way, then she was more than willing to up the stakes.







 

Chapter 8 - Belonging


Walking into the Bronze, Spike had an angry expression on his face as he looked around the crowded club.

“This disappearing/reappearing act of hers is getting old,” he muttered, scanning the dancing bodies. Catching a glimpse of blonde hair, he made his way to the edge of the floor.

His expression darkened when he saw Buffy surrounded by a bunch of guys and tantalizingly swaying her hips to the beat of the music. He watched her for a moment, raising an eyebrow when she looked up and locked eyes with him. He was slightly taken aback when a bright smile lit up her face and she eagerly ran over to him, using her momentum to jump into his arms and lock her arms around his neck. Catching her with a slight “Oomph”, Spike tried not to focus on the feel of her smooth curves beneath his hands as he held her in place. Realizing a moment later that he was having a very unwelcome reaction, or maybe it was welcome, at the fact that she was straddling his hips, he looked into her bright eyes and his frown deepened when she gave him another smile.

“Hi,” she said brightly, obviously enjoying the feel of his hands on her waist as she wriggled around a little bit.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, looking at the boys who had been surrounding her moments ago and were now wondering why the blonde ran off.

“Dancing,” she replied, feeling him shift slightly and easily dropping to her feet, letting her hands fall away from his neck and using the opportunity to run over the defined muscles in his chest as she continued to stand in front of him, pressing her body to his.

“Foreplay, more like it,” Spike scoffed, looking around the club and trying to appear disinterested.

“Jealous?” she asked with a smoldering fire in her eyes that should have been outlawed.

“Jealous?” he repeated with a forced laugh, trying not to notice the way she looked in the tight black pants and form-fitting, flimsy excuse for a tank top or the way his brain was losing all blood as it rushed toward his lower regions. “Don’t make me laugh, sweetheart,” he said in a mocking tone.

“Fine,” Buffy said with a shrug, turning toward the dance floor. “I’ll see you around.”

“And where the bloody hell do you think you’re going?” Spike asked, catching her arm before she made her escape.

“To dance. Work off some steam…maybe have a little foreplay,” she added with a smirk that let him know she knew exactly what she was doing.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, jerking her toward the door. “You’re coming with me.”

“What are you doing?” Buffy asked, her good mood instantly evaporating as she angrily struggled against him while he continued to lead her outside.

“Taking you home. Willow and Tara are worried sick about you. You do realize that you’re past your curfew?”

“I don’t need a curfew,” she grumbled, avoiding his eyes.

“Maybe not. Seems to me you need a good spanking.”

“You volunteering?” she asked with a slight smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t go there,” Spike said, trying to rid his brain of the images that seemed to materialize, not helping his train of thought. “They’re worried, and I don’t fancy waiting around until you ‘work off some steam’ before I take you home.”

“You really need to work on your grabby issues,” she said through gritted teeth, jerking her arm out of his grasp. “And for your information, I can take care of myself.”

“Really?” Spike retorted, closing the distance between them as his eyes narrowed. “Is that why Daddy Dearest sent you here? Because you do such a wonderful job of showing that you can take care of yourself?”

Seeing the crestfallen look and watery eyes at the mention of her father, Spike suddenly felt like the biggest creep in the world.

“I’m sorry, kitten. That came out all wrong,” he said gently.

Buffy nodded, turning toward the entrance of the alley and walking away from him.

“Buffy-”

“Don’t,” she whispered, wrapping her arms securely around herself. “I just want to go home.”

Sensing that the ‘home’ she mentioned was in Los Angeles, Spike merely nodded and began walking toward Revello Drive, wishing that he hadn’t royally shoved his foot in his mouth for a change.

* * * * *

Getting closer to her house, Spike was becoming more unnerved as they walked. Buffy hadn’t said anything since they’d left the alley, and he was beginning to feel as if a wall was between them. Normally the time they spent together was filled with her bubbly chatter or, at the very least, a comfortable silence. But this was too strained, even for him.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he whispered, seeing her eyes briefly dart over to his before looking away as they climbed the steps to her porch. “Angel sent you here to keep you safe…you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, suddenly finding her hands extremely interesting as she fiddled with her thumb. “He wants to keep me so safe that he never even comes to see me. I feel like he’s not even my father. He’s just some stranger who I happen to share some DNA with.” Her brow furrowed before turning to Spike. “He’s dead…can I share DNA with a dead person?”

Breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t appear to be mad at him, Spike smiled. “You’re asking the wrong person, pet. But he is your father, so I would say that it’s a strong possibility.”

Buffy nodded, glancing at the door. “I’m not trying to be some kind of spoiled brat,” she said softly. “I’m just trying to find my place around here…does that make sense?”

“More than you know,” he replied with a gentle smile, resisting the urge to reach out and caress her cheek.

“I feel like I don’t belong here…like I’ve never belonged here.”

“You do,” he whispered, hooking a finger under her chin and drawing her attention to his eyes. “You’re where you belong.”

“I’m glad someone thinks so,” she said in a whisper.

Feeling the energy practically crackling between them, Spike took a step back, breaking contact with her and trying not to think about the strange sense of loss that accompanied the move. “I better get going.”

“Yeah,” Buffy murmured, briefly glancing over her shoulder at the house. “I better get inside.”

Watching as Spike walked down the steps of the porch, she slowly turned and reached for the door handle.

“Hey, Goldilocks!” Spike called, bringing a smile to her lips when she turned around and saw him by the street, looking back at her. “No matter what happens…you know I love you.”

Wishing with all her heart that he meant that in a different context, Buffy decided to relax and take what she could get. “I know,” she replied with a smile. “I love you, too.”



 

Chapter 9 – Ridiculous Wishes


Tired of sitting around and waiting for something to happen, Buffy took it upon herself to patrol. In spite of Spike’s declaration of ‘love’ over a week ago, nothing had really changed. He was currently out patrolling with Aubrey, and it never seemed to occur to him that Buffy would want to go. She felt out of shape after not dusting her fair share of vamps over the past few weeks.

“I can take care of myself,” she muttered, walking through a nearby cemetery.

“Is that a fact?”

Turning toward the sound of the voice, Buffy let a smile play on her lips when she saw the two vampires behind her.

“Why don’t you find out?” she replied, holding her arms out to each side as if she was giving them an open invitation.

Without hesitating, they both ran to tackle the young girl, each surprised when she flipped one over her shoulder and gave a roundhouse kick to the other, sending him sprawling into a headstone.

“Come on, boys,” she said with a laugh as they each jumped to their feet. “You’re not even trying.”

With a growl, the larger of the two ran at her, barely realizing when Buffy stepped out of the way and slammed the stake into his chest, watching as he disintegrated to dust.

“Slayer,” the other one growled.

“Nope,” she replied with a slight shrug. “Just little ole me. Sorry to disappoint.”

Briefly surprised when she found herself pinned underneath a snarling vampire, Buffy struggled for a moment before using all the momentum she could come up with and flipping them over until she was straddling his waist. Plunging the stake into his unbeating heart, she felt a slightly jarring sensation when the vampire turned to dust, letting her drop several inches until she was on the ground.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she stood up and brushed off her hands, watching as the ashes scattered in the mild wind, frowning when she felt his familiar presence. Choosing to ignore him, Buffy continued walking, never looking over her shoulder.

“Do I need to humor you by pretending you didn’t know I was here?” Spike yelled, causing her to stop.

Slowly turning to face him, Buffy leveled him with a glare when she saw Aubrey standing beside him. “Think what you want,” she said with a carefree shrug. “I wasn’t out looking for you, so you can go on your merry way.”

Turning away from him again, Buffy picked up her pace, practically feeling the anger and frustration that was radiating from Spike.

“Freeze, Summers.”

“Go to hell, Spike,” she called back, slightly surprised when he practically materialized in front of her. “Stupid vampire speed,” she grumbled to herself, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he growled, not allowing her to pass as she tried to get around him.

“What do you care?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Because I care about you,” he whispered as his gaze softened.

“Yeah,” she replied sarcastically. “You care so much that you ignore me.”

“I haven’t ignored you,” he said softly, watching as Buffy glanced over her shoulder, looking at the other Slayer before directing her gaze back to Spike.

“Really?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s not what you think,” Spike said in a quiet voice.

“Why do you care what I think?” she asked, trying to keep the pain and emotion out of her voice.

“You’re my girl, Goldilocks,” he said, trying to lighten the situation as he offered her a tender smile.

“No, I’m not,” she ground out through clenched teeth.

“Buffy-”

“I’m going home,” she muttered, not letting him stop her this time as she pushed past him.

Walking a few paces, Buffy was mildly surprised to hear Spike’s voice behind her, but he wasn’t addressing her.

“Gonna walk Buffy home, if you want to do another quick pass.”

Never slowing her pace as she walked toward the edge of the cemetery, Buffy pretended she didn’t even hear him talking to the Slayer, forcing him to run in order to catch up with her.

Matching strides with her, they walked in silence for several long moments before it became too much for Spike. “Talk to me, luv.”

“About what?” she asked in an irritated voice.

“About these mood swings that you can’t seem to get rid of.”

“I’m a teenaged girl, as so many of you feel necessary to point out all the time. Mood swings come with the package.”

“You’re worrying everyone, Buffy,” Spike said, his voice taking on a serious tone. “Including me,” he added, looking over at her and seeing the tension in her body.

“Why does everyone feel like they need to worry about me?” she asked miserably.

“Because we care about you,” he replied softly.

“Then let me grow up,” she cried in exasperation. “Let me experience some things for myself and stop pretending that I’ve been this sheltered little girl for the last seventeen years.”

“What if I want you to stay sheltered?” he replied, tilting his head in her direction.

“It’s a little late for that. It was a little late for that seven years ago. What exactly do you want me to stay sheltered from?”

“What if I said- me?” he asked softly.

“It’s a little late for that, too,” she whispered. “I know you, Spike. I’m in. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”

Turning in the direction of her house, Buffy continued walking, tightening her arms around her body.

“What are you so scared of?” she finally asked, practically seeing his shoulders tense out of the corner of her eye and knowing that he’d caught the hidden meaning behind her words. Or maybe it wasn’t so hidden.

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head to emphasize his point.

Casting a quick glance his way, Buffy sighed. “What do you want from me?”

Spike seemed to consider the question for a moment before answering. “I want things to be the way they were.”

Running her hands through her hair in frustration, she restrained the urge to try and pull it out. “You want the ‘Big Brother Spike/Little Sister Buffy’ routine again?”

“That’s not exactly what I’d call it, pet.”

“Then what would you call it?”

“Friends. I want the friendship back.”

“But deep down, that’s not what it is,” she replied, looking into his eyes and only feeling moderately satisfied when he looked away under her scrutiny, knowing exactly what was behind the meaning of her words.

“Fine,” she said with a heavy sigh after a long moment. “You win. I’ll be ‘perfect little Buffy’ forever.”

Walking up the steps to the porch, she could feel the frustration rolling off of him in waves as she put the key in the lock.

“I just want to be able to talk to you again,” he finally said, a moment before she stepped into the house.

“You want to talk?” she asked, spinning around to face him. “I’m right here! I’m not the one who’s running away.”

“I’m not-”

“How’s the patrolling been, Spike?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and tightening her jaw when she saw the guilt flash in his eyes. Finally taking pity on him after a moment, Buffy inhaled sharply, inwardly surrendering to the silent battle of wills. “You want things the way they were? Fine.”

“What do you mean ‘fine’?”

“I mean what I said,” she replied with a shrug. “Consider everything between us to be just fine.”

Spike watched in confusion as she walked into her house, quietly shutting the door behind her, before running his hand through his hair. All he wanted was for things to go back to normal, before all the hormones and teenaged angst got in the way. He should have known it was a ridiculous wish.


 

Chapter 10 – Beautiful Mistakes


“Are you leaving, Buffy?” Willow asked as Buffy was walking out the door with her overnight bag in her hand.

“Yeah,” she replied, giving the older woman a warm smile. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Okay, sweetie. Have a good time,” Willow said, walking toward the kitchen before snapping her fingers and turning back to face Buffy. “I almost forgot to tell you- your dad is coming to town.”

“D-dad?” Buffy asked nervously. “Why?”

“He just wants to check up on you,” she replied warmly. “Have a good time.”

Walking out the door to meet her friends at the Bronze, Buffy felt short of breath. ‘What if I’m in trouble?’ she thought, her footsteps dragging as she walked. ‘What if he heard about how I’m acting now and decided to come for a visit and actually play the role of father for a change?’

Veering off in the direction of the cemetery, she couldn’t deny the sudden urge to see Spike. Maybe things had changed between them, but he was still the person she counted on.

He was still the one she trusted above all others.

Making her way through the graveyard a few minutes later, Buffy took a deep breath when she reached Spike’s crypt. Hesitantly running her hand over the smooth door, she bit her lip as she quietly pushed it open. Shutting it behind her and dropping her bag at her feet, she searched the interior.

Lit with only a few sparse candles that cast an eerie glow over the open area, Buffy slowly walked through the crypt.

“Spike?” she called softly, wandering toward the opening to the lower level and slowly descending it. “Spike, are you here?”

Jumping the few remaining steps, Buffy gazed around the room, seeing the slightly rumpled bed, but no Spike.

“Guess that’s a no, then,” she murmured, looking around one more time before hesitantly curling up on the bed.

* * * * *

Letting the door shut behind him, Spike froze when he felt the familiar presence practically assault his senses.

“Buffy?” he said softly, walking a little further into the crypt and seeing the overnight bag at his feet.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Spike followed her scent toward the ladder and easily scaled it, turning around when his feet connected with the hard ground. He let a smile play on his lips when he saw her sound asleep in his bed, looking so innocent with one hand curled beneath her cheek. The smile slowly faded as he realized how this situation could turn bad very quickly.

So far, he had managed to ignore any growing feelings or…desires that he had for the young woman in his bed. Letting her spend the night in the crypt would be a good way to throw all that out the window without thinking.

“Buffy,” he whispered, putting one knee on the bed and gently shaking her shoulder to wake her up. “Rise and shine, Goldilocks,” he murmured, leaning over further to whisper into her ear.

Unable to fully realize what was happening, Spike jumped when he suddenly felt her warm lips pressed against his. Letting his brain go on autopilot, he eagerly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around her small body and closing his eyes at the feel of her pressed against him.

Slowly pulling herself out of her dream about kissing Spike, Buffy’s eyes nearly snapped open as the dream faded, but the memory of his lips against hers didn’t. Gasping into his mouth, her heart sped up when she felt his tongue gently brush against hers, moaning when his hand settled on the curve of her hip.

Not knowing what was happening, and not caring, Buffy let her hands trail along his strong arms, up his shoulders to gently twine through his hair, pulling him closer to her as her tongue massaged his.

She could feel the evidence of his arousal for her, pressed against her stomach, and another thrill rushed through her as she pushed against him, smiling against his lips when she heard his lust-filled groan.

Slowly realizing what was happening- what he had let happen- Spike hesitantly pulled away. Seeing the need in her eyes, he pressed another chaste kiss to her lips before pulling away completely.

Gaining some clarity with the distance, Spike sat up and nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“You’re…of course you are,” Buffy muttered, sitting up and moving to stand.

“Where are you going?” Spike asked, looking over at her and seeing the pain in her eyes. “Hey,” he murmured, reaching out for her and was mildly surprised when she flinched and pulled away, not letting him get close to her. “What is it?”

“What is it?” she repeated, looking at him as if he’d lost his mind. “I wake up to find you kissing me and then-”

“You kissed me first,” he interrupted.

“I was asleep. It’s not my fault that I was dreaming…”

Biting her lip as she trailed off, Buffy could already see the look of pride wash over Spike’s features.

“You were dreaming about me?” he asked, his head tilted as a slight smile played on his lips.

“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled, standing up and heading for the ladder, only to be suddenly blocked by the vampire.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered with obvious sincerity.

“It doesn’t matter,” she repeated. “I was stupid to think that…”

“That what?” he asked, trying to unsuccessfully erase the memory of her soft lips against his.

Nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Buffy sighed. “I was stupid to think that you would want me like that.”

“Buffy-”

“Please don’t give me some more sugar-coated half-truths,” she said, looking into his eyes.

“Wasn’t going to,” he replied, his head tilted as he studied her. “I was going to tell you that you are one of the most beautiful young women I’ve ever been in contact with and if things were different…”

“Beautiful?” she asked with a soft smile.

“You know you are,” Spike said with an answering grin.

“And young,” Buffy continued with a sigh, letting her smile fade and seeing the serious look in his eyes.

“Well, you are young, pet,” he said softly, moving to block her exit once again as she tried to get around him. “If things were different…”

“If things were different,” she repeated, looking up at the ceiling to try and blink away the tears that were forming. “You know how many times a day that thought goes through my head? If I wasn’t young, if I wasn’t Angel’s daughter, if you didn’t…if you didn’t treat me like your own daughter,” she finished in a whisper, glancing at the floor with a soft pout playing on her bottom lip.

“You’re not,” he growled, trying not to let the simple statement lead to more disturbing thoughts.

“Yeah,” she muttered, pushing past him and climbing the ladder. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Walking through the crypt and grabbing her bag before she reached the door, Buffy jumped when Spike was, once again, in front of her.

“Bell…neck…look into it.”

“Come with a nice leather…”

Spike trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence and leading to even more bad- or maybe good- thoughts about the woman in front of him.

“I’m going home,” she said, using her forearm to push against his chest, only mildly surprised when she found herself spun around to face the back of the crypt instead of the door.

“Why are you here?”

“Does it matter?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, turning to face him once again.

“Considering you packed a bag and look like you’re wanting to stay the night, thinking it does, pet.”

“I was going to stay with a friend,” she said softly. “Willow told me something and I…I just didn’t feel like I was in the partying mood anymore.”

“What’d Red say?” he asked, his mind reeling against the idea of asking her to stay the rest of the night.

“That my dad is coming to town.”

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just priceless. Peaches decides to pay a visit right after I nearly take advantage-”

“First of all,” Buffy said angrily. “You weren’t exactly ‘taking advantage’. Secondly- what makes you think that I would tell him what happened anyway?” she asked, feeling like turning the tables on him for a change. “It was a mistake, remember? Anything that happens between us lately is a mistake.”

“That’s not true,” he said, shaking his head.

“It’s not?” she replied skeptically before shaking her head and walking past him. “Forget it. I have to go.”

“Stay,” he whispered, barely turning his head as he listened to her footsteps come to a stop behind him.

“What?” she asked in a soft whisper.

“Stay,” he repeated. “Just…don’t leave. I don’t want anything to happen…” Liar “…just stay.”

“Why?”

Turning around to face her, Spike sighed. “I want to make sure you’re safe…and I can’t let you leave like this.”

 

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