Prologue


“Giles, I’m pregnant.”

The words were out of Buffy’s mouth before she had a chance to think
about them, leaving a stunned Rupert Giles in their wake. Slowly, he removed
his glasses and began vigorously rubbing the lenses. “Buffy…I’m afraid I
have to ask this…”

“Yes…it’s his, Giles.”

“Does he know?”

“No. And he’s not going to-“

“Buffy, it’s his child, too. He has a right to know about it.”

“I’ll tell him, just not now. Right now, this baby is in my body. He
doesn’t need to worry about it. I just thought I should tell you you’re
going to be a grandpa.”

“I appreciate that sentiment, but don’t you think he’s going to figure
it out when you start showing?”

“That’s another reason that I’m here. I’m quitting.”

“Buffy, you’ve been working at the Magic Box for the past two years.
You have a baby on the way- I can’t let you quit.”

“I have another job lined up, Giles. I just…I just can’t work here with him coming in all the time. He doesn’t love me the way that he used to, and it’s just too hard.”

“Buffy, I’ve been arranging that you don’t work the same shifts. I
know it’s hard facing him sometimes, but-“

“Giles, he has a new life now. He doesn’t need me in it.”

“Buffy, that’s not true, and you know it. He obviously still cares
about you-“

Buffy sighed. “To some extent, yes, I know. I also know that he never
even looks at me anymore. He has a new job that and I
know he’s still going to work nights for a while, so the best thing is a
clean break. I just need to get away from here, and that has nothing to do
with you. I love this job, but I can’t be here anymore.”

Buffy got up to leave. As she got to the door of the office, she could
hear Giles’ quietly uttered question. “Do you still love him?”

Buffy turned to face him with tears in her eyes. “I never stopped.”

Chapter 1

2 Years Ago


Buffy Summers dusted shelves in the Magic Box her first day on the job.
Her mother had been lecturing her for the past six months that a senior in
high school should learn a little responsibility. Buffy was now in her
final semester and had gotten the job in Mr. Giles’ store because her mom
announced she was cutting off her allowance. Buffy was none too thrilled,
but she realized it could be worse. It was just a few hours after school
and a shift on Saturdays. There were most definitely worse things.

She finished dusting her section of shelves in the upper level of the
store when she heard the bell above the door chime. Looking over the railing,
she saw William ‘Spike’ Giles walk in. Spike was a few years older than
Buffy. He had been a senior at Sunnydale when Buffy transferred from Los
Angeles more than halfway through her sophomore year.

Spike was a notorious womanizer, but much to Buffy’s frustration, had
never given her the time of day, leading to resentment on her part. Buffy
realized that was probably a good thing- she really wasn’t into the love ‘em
and leave ‘em type. There was just something about Spike that seemed
to draw her in. She never seemed to be able to talk to him whenever he
was in close proximity.

‘But that was almost two years ago,’ Buffy thought. ‘Maybe you’ve
grown a backbone since then, Summers.’ She felt the blush rise in her cheeks
as Spike glanced up to her and then continued talking to his father. ‘Maybe
not. Besides, he’s a first class snob who has never even smiled at
you. Don’t fall for him now.’

Buffy sighed and descended to the lower level, which was no easy task
since she had chosen to wear a short gray skirt and tank top today. Reaching
the floor, Buffy turned and made her way to the back of the store to help
her friend Willow with inventory. Willow was the one to give Buffy a good
recommendation to Mr. Giles and get her the job there. Buffy was grateful
that she wouldn’t have to be flipping raw meat on a grill to earn a few
bucks an hour.

Stepping around the crates, Buffy saw the perky redhead sitting on the
floor, surrounded by papers and forms.

“Hey, Wills! Whatcha doin’?”

“Hi, Buff. I’m trying to sort out these documents. The shipping company
sent us double the order of eye of newt and completely left out the crystal
balls.” Buffy raised an eyebrow at her friend as Willow continued, “I
know, I know. Crystal balls aren’t exactly the type of thing that we do, but
they do sell to a lot of beginners. Anyway, how’s your first day going?”

“So far, so good. Nothing strenuous or gross, just a little sweeping
and dusting. Giles said he’d show me how to work the cash register
tomorrow.”

“That’s great, Buffy. It’s really easy, too. So no exciting customers
out there?”

“Not really,” Buffy said, sitting down on a nearby crate. “Giles’ son
is out there. Didn’t look at me twice, though. What else is new,” she
mumbled.

Willow frowned at the sad note in her friend’s voice. “Buffy, don’t act
like that. You’re a completely different person than you were two years
ago. I mean, he probably didn’t even recognize you, what with the blonde hair
and the tighter clothes.”

“Thanks, Will, way to perk me right up,” Buffy said with a half-smile.

“You know what I mean. It’s just you look so different these days, and
hey, you’re eighteen now. At least it’s not jail bait anymore.”

Buffy laughed along with her friend. “Yeah, I guess. Besides, he
hasn’t changed at all, and I bet he’s still the same ‘use them and lose them’
kind of guy. I don’t need to be with someone like that…right?”

“Absolutely,” Willow agreed with a firm nod.

“But he’s just so cute!” Buffy cried as she put her head in her hands in
exasperation. “And infuriating,” she mumbled into her hands.

Willow smiled. “You’ll find a great guy, Buff.”

“Easy for you to say,” she said, raising her head to look at her friend.
“You found Oz. I think he’s the pick of the litter.”

“That he is, but he’s so not your type, Buffy.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just getting all mopey. I mean, look at me, I’m
eighteen years old, and I’ve never even had a serious boyfriend.”

“There’s always Xander,” Willow offered helpfully.

Buffy gave her a look. “Wills, you know Xand is a friend, and that’s
all. There’s just nothing there between us.”

“How do you know if you’ve never even tried? He’s dropping by after
work today- maybe you should see if he wants to go to a movie or something.”

“Willow, you’re not trying to play matchmaker, are you?” Buffy asked
with an accusing stare.

“Me?” she asked with faux innocence. “Of course not.”

Buffy let her eyes trail over the room as she thought of what Willow
had said. Slowly, her eyes fell back to Willow as she shrugged. “What the
heck, it’s not like I have to marry him. I guess I never have given Xand a
fair chance.”

”That’s great, since you did shoot him down for the Spring Fling.”

“That was almost two years ago. I can’t believe you’re still using that
against me!”

“Sorry, it’s just that he was so heartbroken.”

“Okay, maybe I won’t ask him out. I don’t want him to think I’m leading him
on or something.”

“Buffy, just do it. Go as friends and see if it leads anywhere.”

“But Willow-“

“Resolve face,” Willow said, pointing to her stern look.

“Okay, I guess I can do that. It’s better than sitting around, feeling sorry
for myself.”

“Yay! Now, he’ll be here any minute. Go out there and ask him when he
gets here,” Willow said, gesturing toward the door.

Buffy sighed and nodded. ‘Well, at least I can have fun with my friend
tonight. And while I’m waiting, no one ever said I couldn’t admire the
hottie talking to his dad,’ Buffy thought with a smile as she walked
out of the room. ‘Even if he is a first-class jerk.’

Chapter 2 - Reality Check


Buffy walked out of the back room and glanced around the visible area
of the store. Spike was nowhere to be seen. Hearing a noise closer to the
front of the store, Buffy made her way over to it. Walking past the shelves
to her right, she saw Giles handing some of the heavier objects to Spike,
who was balancing on a ladder next to the door, displaying them on some of the
higher shelves.

“Ah, Buffy,” Giles said with a smile. “You’re settling in well, I hope.”

“Yes, I am. And thanks again, Giles, for letting me work here.”

“It’s not a problem, Buffy. Oh, by the way, have you met my son, William?”
he asked, gesturing to the bleach-blonde on the ladder.

Before Buffy could respond, she heard a growl as Spike heaved the last
object onto the top shelf. “It’s Spike!” he said as he jumped to the
floor and gave Buffy a look. “Don’t I know you?”

“We went to school together,” she said.

Spike narrowed his eyes and tilted his head at her. “You’re younger. I
guess that’s why I don’t remember you.”

Buffy felt resentment course through her at his callous words. She
watched as Giles made his way to the back of the store before responding.
“Yeah, I was a sophomore when you were a senior. Transferred in with only a few
months left,” she said, feeling her courage come back to her. “Honestly, I
didn’t really expect you to remember me, considering you were too busy
trying to sleep with half the senior girls.”

Spike continued to watch her in slight admiration as she stared back
into his sapphire eyes. Buffy saw the beginning of a smirk on his face
before the door opened behind him. Buffy gave Xander a bright smile as he
came in the store. “Hi, Xand!” she said happily as she went to stand next to
him. She hid a smile as Spike glared at her friend before remembering Willow’s
advice. “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie tonight?”

“Sure thing, Buffster. Is Willow going?”

“Nope, just you and me.”

Buffy had to restrain herself from jumping up and down at the look of
jealousy on Spike’s face. ‘You don’t want him, Buffy,’ that little
inner voice said to her. ‘But it is nice to be noticed for a change.’

“Sounds great, Buff. What time do you get off?”

“Actually, Buffy, you can go ahead and take off for the day,” Giles called out.

“Thanks, Giles!” Buffy said brightly. “Just let me grab my jacket, and we
can be off, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

Buffy made her way to the back of the room, hearing the clanging of the
ladder being taken down as she went. Clocking out in the office, Buffy
grabbed her coat off the hook just as Spike walked in, blocking the
door. Buffy tried to make her way around him, but he stayed where he was,
leaning casually with his arms crossed over his chest. “Excuse me,” Buffy said
with as much courtesy as she could muster. When all Spike did was raise an
eyebrow at her and smirk, Buffy crossed her own arms over her chest.
“Don’t you have a ladder to put away or something?”

Spike smiled. “It’s fine where it is, luv.”

“And where’s that? Outside the door?”

“As a matter of fact-“

“That’s great. Now, if you’ll let me get by, I have a date.”

Spike’s smile fell as he stared at the girl in front of him. “What, with the
whelp out there? Yeah, you’ll have a grand ole time with him, pet.”

“I didn’t ask you,” she replied casually.

“So, if you’re going on a date with him, where does that leave us?”

“There’s an us?” Buffy asked, seemingly shocked. “You didn’t even know my
name until five minutes ago, and now there’s an us?”

Spike smirked again. “Not yet, but I was kind of hoping we’d see where the
evening takes us.”

Buffy was thrilled at his words until the memory of Spike’s reputation came
back to her full force. She realized that he had probably never heard the
word ‘no’ in his life, and Buffy Summers was just the person who needed
to give him a reality check.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I already have plans,” she said as she pushed
past him. “And besides,” she said as she passed him. “You’re really not my
type.” Spike stood in shock as she sent a saucy smile over her shoulder.
“Nice meeting you, William.”

Spike stared after her as she headed to the front of the store. Without a
look back at him, Buffy called a good-bye to Giles as she grabbed the boy’s
arm and headed out the door. Spike watched until the door shut behind her
before smirking. “So, kitten wants to play? Well, we’ll play.”

Chapter 3 - Following


Buffy and Xander made their way through the rows of seats in the movie
theater. Finding two together, they sat down and began settling in just as
the preview slides began on the screen. After a few minutes, Buffy felt
Xander’s arm come to rest on the back of her seat. Stiffening slightly at
the more intimate contact, Buffy forced her body to relax as she watched the
previews. She suddenly squinted as a flashlight was shining in her face.

“Are you Buffy Summers?” the usher asked.

At Buffy’s nod, he continued. “You’re wanted in the lobby.”

The young man turned around and walked away, leaving a perplexed Buffy
behind.

“Do you want me to go with you, Buff?” Xander whispered.

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “I’ll be right back.”

As Buffy made her way to the lobby, she was suddenly grabbed and pulled
into a darkened hallway. Before a scream could leave her throat, a hand was
clamped over her mouth. “It’s just me, luv,” the familiar voice said, letting go of her.

Buffy gasped for air as she tried to slow her accelerated heartbeat
before getting angry. “You know, you could have just waited out in a nice
bright area and not lurk in the shadows like some creature of the night.”

Spike smiled at her description. “I wasn’t lurking, I was waiting.”

“And the difference is?”

“That’s not important,” Spike said dismissively, waving his hand.

“Then why are you attempting to kidnap me?”

“Just wanted to ask you a question, luv.”

“Okay…”

“Go to the Bronze with me tonight.”

“That wasn’t a question- that was a request, and I can’t believe you’re
even here! I’m here with another guy!”

“That ponce doesn’t know what to do with a girl like you,” he said,
looking her up and down and moving closer to her.

“And what kind of girl would I be, Spike?” she asked, crossing her arms
over chest angrily.

“The kind who needs a big, strong man to look after her,” Spike said with a
smile.

This didn’t make Buffy any happier. “Yeah, it’s too bad there’s not one
of those around here.”

Buffy turned to make her way back to her movie when she felt Spike’s hand on
her arm. “What about tomorrow?”

Buffy felt her heart flutter at the request but kept her resolve face in place. “No.”

Spike seemed taken aback by her answer as she pulled free of him and
headed back into the theater. “You know, luv,” he called after her. “The
more you resist, the more it’ll make me want you.”

Buffy felt a shiver go up her spine at his words but refused to give him
the satisfaction of turning around. Spike smiled at her back as he bit
his lip and watched her go. This one was definitely going to be worth the
extra effort.

* * * * *

Spike made sure he was at the Magic Box the next day at the end of Buffy’s
shift. As Buffy left the store, she groaned at the sight of Spike leaning
against the side of his vintage black Desoto.

Spike merely smiled at her. “Why don’t you like me, Summers?”

“I think the better question would be, why do you like me all of a sudden?”
she retorted as she walked past him.

Spike met her stride and walked with her as she headed home. “Because
you challenge me, pet.”

“Challenge you?” Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t
you mean I’m the first girl to turn you down?”

“Well, that, too.”

“At least you’re honest.”

“I can be a lot more things than honest, luv,” he replied in a seductive voice.

Buffy merely rolled her eyes. “Spike, I told you, you’re not my type.”

“You know what I think, Summers?” Spike turned around and began walking
backwards, facing her. “I think you’re scared of me.”

“Not a chance.”

“Yep,” Spike said, turning to walk straight again. “You’re scared that
you’ll actually like me and you’ll lose control.” When Buffy didn’t
say anything, Spike smiled. “That’s what I thought.”

“No, you know what, Spike?” Buffy said angrily, turning to face him.
“Maybe I do think that, but if you’re so interested to know what I think, then
I’ll tell you. I think you’ll get what you want out of the relationship, and
then you’ll do what you always do. You’ll leave. I don’t want to be
with somebody who only wants me for one thing.” Buffy turned and left a
stunned Spike standing behind her as she walked the rest of the way home.

* * * * *

Buffy sat on the couch later that night, watching an old movie on TV.
She had decided to forego a night out with her friends in favor of her comfy
jeans and “Casablanca.” She had been looking forward to spending some
long overdue quality time with her mother until Joyce had announced she was
leaving for Los Angeles for the weekend, and Buffy was once again alone.
Buffy sighed when the doorbell rang and slowly got up from her place on the
couch. When she opened the door, she had to suppress a groan as she
looked at Spike, standing on her porch.

Spike stared at the girl in front of him and felt his heart skip a beat.
Dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a black sweater, she looked
beautiful with her golden hair framing her face.

“What do you want, Spike?” she asked in a drained voice.

“I come bearing gifts,” Spike said, holding out a plastic bag. “Or, more
accurately, a peace offering.”

“A peace offering for what?” Buffy asked.

Spike looked down sheepishly before raising his eyes to meet hers. “To
let you know that I’m not interested in you for only one thing.”

Buffy looked at him skeptically as he handed her the bag. She smiled
as she looked inside. “You know you’re not going to get laid just because you
brought me ice cream. Even if it is cookie dough.”

Spike smiled at her. “Never crossed my mind, luv.”

Buffy stepped back and gave him a smile, her resolve gone. “Come in,
Spike.”

Spike gave her a grateful look as he crossed over the threshold,
following her into the kitchen. “Nice house, pet.”

“It’s okay.”

“Something wrong, luv?”

“No, I’m fine,” Buffy said unconvincingly, shaking her head as she
pulled two spoons out of the drawer and began to walk back into the living
room.

Spike stepped in front of her before she made her escape. “I’m not buying it.”

Buffy sighed as she looked into his eyes. “I just feel lonely, I guess.”

“Well…I’m here now. Not alone anymore.”

Buffy smiled as he tried to cheer her up. “That’s true. Thank you, Spike.”

Spike returned the smile before stepping out of her way and following
her into the living room. Once they were situated on the couch, sharing
the tub of ice cream, Spike looked over at her. “Can I ask you a question,
luv?”

“Sure,” she said around a spoonful of cookie dough.

“Do you really think I just use women?” Spike asked as he stared down
at the ice cream.

Buffy swallowed and started to feel bad for what she had said to him
earlier. “I honestly don’t know, Spike. I mean, that’s just your
reputation, and I guess I’ve let myself believe it over the years.”
Spike nodded as she continued. “So, can I ask you a question?”

“Anything, luv.”

“Is it true?”

Spike stared down at his lap for a moment, contemplating his answer.
“It used to be,” he said quietly.

“Used to be?”

He looked up and met her eyes. “When I was a junior in high school, I
was dating a girl that I thought I was in love with. I found out she was
cheating on me throughout our entire relationship, and it tore me up
inside. So, yeah, for a while there, I just used girls the way I felt like I was
used.”

“And now?”

“I don’t know. I’m still not perfect, pet. Guess I never will be…and
I’m not going to lie to you. When I saw you yesterday, getting you into my
bed was one of the first thoughts in my mind.” Buffy blushed at the statement.
“But, I also wanted to know you. No one’s ever been completely honest
with me the way you have. You definitely got my attention.”

Buffy smiled as she stabbed at the ice cream. “I’m still not going to jump
into bed with you.”

“Good.” Buffy’s head shot up, a pained look on her face. Spike saw
the look and shook his head. “I just mean, I’m glad you would wait. Makes
it more special.”

Buffy nodded, still feeling slightly uneasy with the way he’d agreed with
her but decided to ignore it. “Can we start over?” she asked timidly.

Spike smiled. “I’d like that, luv.”

Buffy held out her hand. “Buffy Summers, senior at Sunnydale High.”

Spike laughed and shook the outstretched hand. “Spike Giles, sophomore
at UC Sunnydale.”

“Nice to meet you,” Buffy said with a dazzling smile.

“You, too.”

Buffy and Spike, once again, began to dig into their snack when the
phone rang. Buffy went to answer it, and Spike frowned at the conversation
that he picked up on.

“No, it’s okay…I really understand…yeah, it’s not a problem. Okay, I
love you, too…bye.”

Spike watched as Buffy trudged back to the couch, a distant expression
on her face.

“Something wrong, luv?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, just my mom.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“She’s just going to be gone for the rest of the week. No big deal,”
she said with a half-hearted shrug.

“This happens a lot?” he asked softly.

Buffy shrugged again as she pushed the ice cream away from her. “It
could be worse.”

“You miss her,” Spike said.

Buffy nodded. “A lot.”

“I know what’ll cheer you up.” Buffy looked at him expectantly as he
continued. “Movie night. Tomorrow, we’ll do the whole night with the
works- popcorn, cheesy horror and teen movies, your friends over here.”

Buffy brightened. “You’d really want to hang out with a bunch of high
school kids?”

“I really want to hang out with you,” he said softly.

Buffy blushed at the compliment, biting her lip in a way Spike found
endearing. “You’re on! You bring the popcorn.”

Spike laughed at her sudden bossiness. “That I can do, pet.” Standing
up, Buffy gave him a pouty look. “Sorry, luv, but I better be going. I
told my dad I was going to stop by tonight.”

“That’s sweet,” Buffy said, getting up with a smile.

“What’s that, luv?”

“Well, it’s just, you’re twenty years old, and you still worry about making
your dad worried when he doesn’t know where you are. It’s cute.”

“It is bloody well not cute!” Spike exclaimed indignantly, which only
served to make Buffy giggle.

“Sorry,” Buffy said, getting her laughter under control. “You’re right,”
she continued with a stern look. “It’s not cute, it’s manly. Very,
very manly,” she finished with a firm nod.

Spike laughed at her attempt to appease him. “Okay, if you say it’s
cute, I’ll let you get away with it. But only you,” he said, pointing a
finger at her.

Buffy nodded as she walked him to the door. “Thanks for the peace offering,
Spike. It really does mean a lot.”

Spike smiled as he opened the door. “Not a problem, pet. Friends then?”

“Friends,” Buffy agreed with a smile. Spike returned the smile as he turned to walk away.

“Spike,” Buffy called out to him as he stepped onto the porch. He
turned to look at her questioningly as she stepped outside with him. “Thank
you,” she whispered as she pulled him down to leave a soft kiss on his cheek.

Spike felt the heat rise to his face as he looked down at her. “What was
that for, luv?”

Buffy smiled shyly. “For being here when I needed someone. And for
planning Movie Night tomorrow.”

Spike nodded as he took her hand in his and left a gentle kiss on the
top of it. “My pleasure, Buffy.”

Chapter 4 – Getting To Know You


The following night, Buffy and Willow were laughing at something Xander
had said when the doorbell rang. Buffy jumped up to answer it, swinging
it open to reveal Spike holding a box of microwaveable popcorn. Buffy
smiled as she opened the door wider in invitation. “I was beginning to worry
you weren’t going to make it.”

“Are you kidding? This was my bloody idea- I wouldn’t have missed it
for the world, Goldilocks,” Spike replied, tugging on a strand of blonde
hair.

Buffy giggled at the nickname before leading him into the living room.
She noticed the glare Xander had on his face and turned to see a matching
one on Spike’s. “Guys, this is Spike. Spike, this is Xander, and I think you may
have met Willow at the Magic Box.”

Spike snapped his eyes away from the younger man to give a brief smile
and nod to Willow. “Yeah, we’ve seen each other around. How are you, Red?”

Willow smiled. “Oh, I’m great.”

Buffy turned as the doorbell rang again and went to answer it. She
greeted Oz and Cordelia who had arrived at the same time and let them in.
Buffy and Cordy initially hadn’t hit it off when Buffy had moved to Sunnydale,
but the more they talked to each other, the friendlier they got. Buffy knew
that Xander had a crush on Cordy and felt a little bad at her ulterior motive of
having Cordelia there to distract her friend. Buffy finished the introductions and headed into the kitchen with the popcorn.

“Need any help, luv?” Buffy turned at the voice behind her and saw
Spike leaning in the doorway.

“With microwave popcorn?” Buffy asked with a smile. “Nah, I think I got it.”

Spike smiled and walked over to sit down at the island as he watched
Buffy.

Buffy smiled nervously as she felt his eyes on her before looking up
and meeting his gaze. “What?”

“You’re just cute,” Spike said, gesturing to her pale pink cotton pants
and matching zip-up sweatshirt with a white tank top underneath. She
looked so young and sweet that Spike couldn’t help but smile.

Buffy blushed at his compliment and turned away from him, busying
herself with getting the snacks ready.

“Didn’t mean to embarrass you, luv,” he said softly.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike, his head tilted slightly to gauge her
reaction. “I’m fine, “ Buffy said with a soft smile.

Spike nodded as Buffy picked up the tray of food. He quickly jumped to
his feet and intercepted her. “I got it, Goldilocks. You just lead the way.”

Buffy gave him a bright smile of thanks and headed to the living room.

* * * * *

After the first two movies, Spike leaned against the back of the couch
and closed his eyes. They must be having a chick flick marathon. He could
have easily dealt with that, and Buffy’s friends were, for the most part,
pretty cool. He found that he and Oz had a lot more in common than someone
might have thought. However, the fact that Buffy had situated herself next
to Spike when they sat down a few hours ago had not gone unnoticed by
Xander, whose angry looks were not overlooked by Spike. Especially when he had
put his arm on the back of the couch, and he thought the boy was going to
say something to him.

‘Bloody hell,’ he thought. ‘I’m not even touching her, and he’s acting
like I’m trying to get her to shag me on the couch.’ Spike let out a sigh
and excused himself from the room.

Buffy frowned when she heard the back door close. “I’ll be right back,
guys. I’m gonna make sure Spike’s okay. Start the next one without us.”
The group nodded as Buffy made her way to the back of the house. When she
opened the back door, she saw Spike turn to face her slightly and give her a
small smile from his position on the top step. Buffy could see the lit
cigarette burning in his hand and went to sit down on the step next to him.

“You okay?” she asked quietly.

“Fine, luv. I just needed a break, is all,” Spike said, gesturing to the cigarette.

“You know, those things will kill you,” Buffy said with a smile.

Spike scoffed. “So I’ve heard.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Spike finished the smoke.
Smashing it under his heel, Buffy watched him as he clasped his hands together,
resting his elbows on his knees.

“I’m sorry if I’m not being much fun in there, luv.”

Buffy frowned. “Spike, we’re just watching movies. It’s not like we’re
having a party.”

“Yeah,” he agreed halfheartedly.

“Besides, I’ve noticed the looks Xander’s been throwing your way.”

“What’s going on between you two?” Spike asked, looking at her to see
her reaction.

Buffy shrugged. “We’re friends. He had a little crush on me when I
moved here, but I turned him down. Nothing really came of it.”

“So, that date the other night-“

“Was our first and only,” Buffy replied. “Willow tried to talk me into
giving him a second chance, but there’s just no romantic feelings from
my side.”

Spike nodded, obviously relieved, as he stared out into the dark backyard.
“I’ve never done this before, Buffy,” he said quietly.

“Done what?”

“Try to be friends with a girl. It’s all a little new to me.”

”Let me guess- every girl has been a conquest to you.” Spike looked at
her with hurt in his eyes. “Oh, Spike, I didn’t mean it like that. I just
meant you knew what to expect, and now a friendship is a new set of
rules.”

“That about sums it up. And you were probably right the first time.
Every girl was just a way to get instant gratification- I never thought of
much beyond that. There was always some kind of ulterior motive.”

“And it’s not like that with me?” Buffy asked with a playful pout
before she broke out in a smile.

Spike looked at her with a smile on his face. “I reserve the right not to
answer that question.”

Buffy looked down at her hands as she flushed at his comment. After a
few moments, she decided she better change the subject. “So, do you work at
the Magic Box?”

“Help my dad out once in a while. I’m not on schedule, but he’s been
trying to talk me into it.”

“You should do it. It’ll help your dad, and I’d get to see you more, as
a friend,” she added quickly as he looked over at her.

Spike smiled and nodded. “I might. Got a lot on my plate this semester,
with school and all.”

Buffy was about to reply when the back door opened. Both turned to see
Xander standing there. “You’re missing the movie.” Spike noticed he
was talking to Buffy but stood up anyway. Offering his hand to Buffy, he
shot Xander a glare of his own as Buffy took hold of it and stood. Spike
smiled down at Buffy as she held his hand longer than necessary, gently
reaching up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. Both felt the
tingling sensations go through them as they touched, but each ignored the
feeling.

‘We’re friends,’ they both thought at the same time.

As they walked back into the house, Buffy couldn’t help but be slightly
disappointed that they were just friends. Nevertheless, they’d only
known each other for a few days. Who knew what the future held.

Chapter 5 - Stressing


Over the next few weeks, Buffy and Spike grew closer. Spike began working
the same shifts she did and felt his attraction toward her growing. He
never said anything to Buffy for fear that she would get scared and start
avoiding him, but he couldn’t help the feelings he had for her. Today, they were in the back room, restocking the items that had just been shipped in.

“So what’s new with you, Goldilocks?” Spike asked. He’d noticed she’d been
quiet for most of the day and was starting to get worried about her.

Buffy shook her head as she finished unpacking one of the boxes in front of
her.

“Come on,” Spike prodded. “There’s something stirring around in that
overactive brain of yours.”

Buffy smiled slightly. “It’s really nothing.”

Spike walked over to her and gently took her by the arms. “Buffy, are you
okay?”

This time she smiled genuinely. “There’s nothing to be worried about, if
that’s what you mean.”

“Good,” Spike said, breathing a sigh of relief. “But there is something
bothering you.”

“It’s stupid really. I just…I’m not going to the prom, and I’ve just been
thinking about if it’s a mistake to skip it, but it’s this weekend, and I’m
getting kind of close to the buzzer if I decide to go.”

Spike stared at her, confused. “What do you mean you’re not going? Guys must be lined up around the block to take you.”

Buffy laughed at that. “Oh yeah, I really get the greatest guys in Sunnydale
High. My favorite options are Cameron Walker, who felt the need to try and
sexually assault me in his car last year, or Larry, who tries to grab my butt
in gym class every day. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking I don’t want to
face the post-prom parties with guys like that.”

Spike felt anger build in him at the mention of these two idiots touching a
girl like her. “Buffy, if anything ever happens, I want you to tell me, okay?”

Buffy gave him a small smile. “Nothing’s going to happen to me because I
won’t be in that kind of a position for anything to happen, but thank you.”
She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand as she got up and left the
room.

Spike sat there for a long time, thinking about what Buffy had said. He knew
that she would be sorry if she missed out on her prom, but he couldn’t find
it in himself to ask her. It was, after all, her school, and she didn’t seem
that interested in asking him, so he knew he should forget about it. What
he couldn’t forget about was the look in her eyes when she told him about it.

Spike left the room and saw Buffy and Willow talking at the front of the
store. Spike decided to leave them alone and began shelving some books when
he heard the bell at the front of the store. Turning around, he saw Willow
walking toward him as the door shut.

“Did Buffy go home?”

“No,” Willow said. “She’s just taking her break. Spike, you have to
convince her to go to the prom this weekend.”

Spike blinked at the abrupt change of topic. “Listen, Red, I don’t know if
Buffy wants me to butt in.”

“Spike, she wants to go, but she doesn’t have a date.”

“Yeah, I know. She told me.”

“What is wrong with you?” Willow cried as she smacked him on the shoulder.

Spike flinched at the amount of power behind her tiny hand. “What are you
goin’ on about?”

“Buffy tells you her problem, and you don’t ask her?”

“Red, it’s not my place to ask. It’s her school, her dance, and I’m her
friend. If she wants to go with me, she’ll ask.”

Willow threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “Men!” Looking Spike
in the eye again, she continued, “Spike, she’s turned down four offers
because they haven’t been the right guy.”

“So the chit’s picky, so what?”

“Because the right guy is you.”

Spike froze. “She told you that?”

“Well…not in so many words, but I know her, Spike. She’s my friend.”

Spike absorbed all of the information for several long minutes as he sat
down at a nearby table. “I’ve got an idea, Red.”

* * * * *

Buffy stood in front of the mirror on Saturday night, staring at the
reflection. “I’m cool with going stag,” she muttered to herself as she
looked at the strapless, red floor-length gown that Willow had talked her
into. The low-cut neckline showed off a generous amount of cleavage. A
high slit up the right leg made Buffy feel a little self-conscious about
the amount of skin she was exposing, but she shrugged it off. Her long
golden hair was pulled up in a French-twist with a few face-framing pieces
left down. Her mother’s diamond earrings were the only jewelry she wore.
Buffy stared into the mirror for over ten minutes when she heard the
doorbell.

“Buffy! Your friends are here!”

“I’ll be right down, Mom!”

With a final glance in the mirror, Buffy turned and made her way downstairs.
She smiled at her friends as she walked downstairs. Willow and Oz stood
in the doorway, blissfully happy. Buffy could see Xander and Cordelia
behind them and smiled. Cordy had finally taken it upon herself to ask
Xander to go with her since he was too frightened to ask her.

“Buffy, you look amazing!” Willow squealed.

“Lookin’ good, Buffster.” Buffy smiled at her friends as Cordy and Oz
echoed the statements.

“Thanks, guys, you all look great, too. Where’s my mom?”

“Oh, she’s out on the porch,” Willow replied.

Buffy frowned and followed her friends out into the night. She felt her
chest constrict at what she saw. Standing on the porch in an all black tux
with a black necktie, Spike smiled at her, holding a bouquet of white roses.
Buffy stood frozen in her place as her mother snapped pictures of her
shocked expression.

Buffy finally was able to give him a smile as he stepped forward. “What are
you doing here?”

“I couldn’t let my favorite girl go to her prom alone, now could I?”

Buffy’s smile brightened at the admission as everyone started talking at
once. She couldn’t hear anything else as Spike leaned forward, gently
brushing her cheek with his lips. “You look gorgeous, luv,” he whispered
quietly.

Buffy shivered at the feel of his breath on her skin and looked into his
eyes. “You’re not so bad yourself.” Buffy took Spike’s offered arm and let
him lead her to the waiting limousine.

Chapter 6 - The Prom


Buffy relaxed as they entered the decorated gymnasium. She saw the jealous
looks of the other girls in her class and couldn’t help the smile that it
brought to her face.

“What are you smiling at, luv?” Spike asked softly.

“That I have the best date here and all the girls hate me.”

Spike laughed at the admission as he took her hand and led her out to the
dance floor. “I didn’t do to badly either. Care to dance, pet?”

Without answering, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and thrilled at
the gentle touch of his hands on her hips. After a minute of swaying to the
music, Buffy rested her head against his chest, resisting the urge to run
her hands over the hard muscles that she encountered.

Spike gently pressed a kiss to her hair, pulling away slightly to rest his
cheek against the top of her head. The two danced through another song,
each savoring the feel of the other.

Buffy slowly pulled back to look into his bright eyes. “Why did you come
tonight?”

“Don’t want me here, pet?” he asked with a smile.

“I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather go with, but I didn’t think you would
want to go to a high school dance.”

“Not usually, no, but this is different. This is going with you, and I can’t
think of a better way to spend a Saturday night.”

Buffy smiled at the admission, fighting the urge to kiss him for his
thoughtfulness. As the two broke apart at the end of the song, Buffy
noticed the way he casually held her hand as they walked off the floor and
tightened her grip. Spike smiled at the slight pressure change and pulled
Buffy closer to him. “Want something to drink, luv?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

As Spike walked over to get some punch, Buffy groaned as she watched Harmony and her minions approach her.

“So, Buffy, I see you were able to land a date,” Harmony commented in her
nasal tone.

Buffy sighed. “What do you want, Harmony?”

“Just to let you know that you’re way out of your league. You think that
Spike Giles is going to stay interested in you?” she asked with a laugh.
“He’ll probably be looking for someone else to leave with by the end of the
night.”

Buffy clenched her teeth but tried to stay calm. “Gee, Harmony, I never
thought of that. I guess I shouldn’t talk to you anymore. Spike might
think we’re friends, and that certainly wouldn’t help my chances.”

Harmony huffed and walked away with her trail of followers. Buffy headed
for the door, needing some air.

Spike watched from across the room as Buffy talked to another blonde before
turning and walking out the door. Spike quickly took off to see what was
wrong. As he got to the doors of the gym, Spike walked into the darkened
school hallway and took in his surroundings. He saw an exit door and headed
toward it. Looking outside, he saw Buffy staring up at the moon, hugging
her arms around her body.

Spike quietly exited the school and approached her. “Buffy,” he said
quietly, touching her shoulder. Buffy whirled around in surprise and visibly
relaxed when she saw Spike. “What are you doing out here, luv?”

“I just needed some air.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the blonde you were just talking to,
would it?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, Spike, really. Just stupid high
school stuff that I can’t wait to leave behind.”

Spike contemplated her for a minute as she turned her back to him. Not
thinking before he acted, Spike stepped forward and wrapped his arms around
her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. Buffy relished the intimate
feel of him as she rested her own hands on his.

“So, what’s after the dance, Goldilocks?”

“Some big party at Cordy’s. Her parents are out of town and told her she
could have the entire senior class over. You don’t have to go if you don’t
want to. I’ll understand, and you have gone well and beyond the call of
duty.”

“Will you be there?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I will, too.”

* * * * *

Just after midnight, Buffy and Spike walked through the foyer of the Chase
mansion. Buffy had only been in the house one other time, and now, she was
truly in awe of the size of it. She grabbed Spike’s hand, scared that she
would lose him in the throngs of people, and led him through the house to the
back deck. Buffy saw Willow and Oz swimming in the Olympic-size pool and
waved.

“Hey, guys!” Willow said as she swam over to meet them. “Cordy's got extra
suits in the pool house. They’re hidden in the bathroom cabinets since
there are just enough for her friends.”

“Thanks, Wills,” Buffy said. She turned to face Spike. “Do you want to swim
now?”

Spike briefly had the image of Buffy in a two-piece flash through his brain.
“Now’s good,” he said in a hoarse voice. Buffy gave him a quizzical look
but headed into the smaller pool house.

Rifling through the cabinets, she finally came across the swimsuits.
Tossing a pair of black trunks to Spike, she waited outside the door while
he changed. When he reappeared a few minutes later, Buffy licked her lips
at the sight of his bare, muscular chest. Spike smirked when he saw her
staring, and his smile only broadened when a blush rose to her cheeks. “I,
uh, I better get changed,” Buffy said as she walked around him to get to
the bathroom.

Buffy looked through the various colors and styles of the swimsuits before
picking a navy blue string bikini. She quickly took her hair down and let
it tumble around her shoulders. Grabbing a couple of towels, Buffy quickly
hung up her dress in the connecting bedroom and made her way out the door to
encounter Spike. His eyes seemed to light up as he looked her over.

“Ready to go, luv?”

Buffy noticed that his voice seemed to drop a little as he stared at her, and
she felt her face heat up again. “Yeah.”

Spike put his hand on the small of her back and led her out of the house.

* * * * *

An hour later, Buffy was soaking her tired body in the hot tub. She was
exhausted from the long night at the dance and the subsequent water fights
they had shared with Willow and Oz. Now as she was lounging in the hot tub,
Buffy looked around for her date. Spike had disappeared ten minutes earlier
to get them something to snack on, and she hadn’t seen him since.

With a sigh, Buffy pulled herself out of the hot tub and wrapped a towel
around her waist. Wandering through the house that was now filled with
drunk senior classmen, Buffy found her way to the kitchen. Walking through
the door, she froze when she saw Spike with Harmony wrapped around him. Her arms were pulling him close as she looked like she was trying to devour his
face. Spike pulled away and met Buffy’s eyes as she turned and fled the
house.

Buffy quickly made her way to the pool house, rushing through the door and
into the spare bedroom. She quickly slammed the door shut and took several
deep gulps of air. “Okay, Buff,” she said to herself. “He’s not your
boyfriend- he’s just a nice guy who’s your friend and decided to do you a
favor and take you to the prom.” Buffy put her head in her hands. “He
doesn’t even like you.”

Buffy quickly shed the towel and pulled her dress out of the closet. There
was no need to stick around anymore if her friends had disappeared and her
date was off making out with another girl. Just as Buffy pulled the dress
off the hanger, she heard a loud knocking on the door. Puzzled, she went
over to open it and encountered an out of breath Spike.

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s what smoking will do to you.”

“Buffy, I’m sorry, I-“

“Spike, you don’t owe me any type of explanation. We’re friends, and you
were just doing me a favor tonight by going with me. Don’t worry about
it,” she said as she walked back over to the bed.

Feeling his body against hers, Buffy turned around. “That wasn’t what it
looked like, Buffy. She kissed me, I didn’t kiss her back.”

“Spike, I-“

“No, you deserve to know this. I didn’t come here tonight to shag someone.
I came here tonight because I wanted to be with you.” Buffy stared into his
eyes as he continued, gently cupping her face. “I want to be with you,
Buffy. I don’t want to just be friends anymore. It’s not enough, I want
you.” Spike’s lips quickly descended to her own as he gave her a passionate
kiss.

Buffy felt lightheaded as she reached around his waist to balance herself
against the dizzying emotions coursing through her. Pulling away slowly,
Spike looked down at Buffy as she tried to catch her breath.

“What do you think, luv? Do I have a shot?” Buffy didn’t answer him, just
pulled him down to her for another emotional kiss. Slowly leading him with
her, Spike found himself lying on the bed with Buffy beneath him. Trying to
control his raging hormones, he moaned as her body arched into his. His
hands, of their own need, began caressing her body, roaming over the soft,
exposed skin. Slowly, Spike felt his hand slip under the top of her bikini,
gently squeezing her full breast. Buffy moaned, thrusting herself against
him again. Spike felt all willpower fading as he realized they were only
separated by two very thin pieces of fabric. Suddenly realizing who he was
with, Spike pulled away from her and sat up.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked.

“Nothing, baby. We just need to stop.” Spike looked up and saw the hurt
look on Buffy’s face as she stood up. “Buffy, what’s wrong, luv?”

With her back turned to him, he heard her whisper, “Is it me?”

Spike was off the bed in a flash, spinning her around and pinning her to the
nearby wall. “Never think that again,” he said through clenched teeth.

Spike saw her chin quiver as she looked at him. “Why don’t you want me?”

Spike gently kissed her before answering, “I want you, baby, but you deserve
better than this. I don’t want you to do something you’ll write off as a
weak moment later.” Spike watched her, waiting for her to say something.
When she stayed quiet, he continued, “Buffy, when it happens, I want it to
be special. I don’t want it to be in a guest house at an after-prom party.”
He paused as he gently tilted her face up to his. “Buffy, if you want me
half as much as I want you, it will happen.”

Buffy nodded as he kissed her forehead. “You wanna get out of here, pet?”

“Where to?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“My place.”

Buffy had to suppress a smile. “You know, for someone who was so determined to wait no more than ten seconds ago, you sure do move fast.”

“I was thinking more movies and pizza,” Spike said with a chuckle before
leaning down to kiss her. “And maybe some more of those.”

Buffy giggled. “What are we waiting for?”

Chapter 7 - Feelings


A few hours later, Buffy and Spike lay curled together on the couch in
his apartment. Buffy had changed into a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt
and was now sound asleep, wrapped in Spike’s arms. Spike stared down at
the sleeping young woman and felt his heart skip a beat. He had never felt
like this before. It suddenly occurred to him that he had never done this
before. There was not a moment that he could remember comfortably
lying next to someone that he cared for. Spike was suddenly filled with fear
that he would lose her. He watched as Buffy stirred in her sleep and slowly
opened her eyes to look up into his.

“Morning, beautiful.”

“Is it morning?” Buffy asked with a yawn as she rubbed her eyes.

Spike smiled at the child-like quality she took on. “Just after sunrise.”

“Did you get any sleep?”

“No, I wanted to enjoy having you in my arms.”

Buffy smiled. “You’re not trying a line on me, are you? Because you
know, you’ve already got me.”

“Do I?” Spike asked, his expression suddenly becoming serious.

“I thought we’d already covered this.”

“Humor me.”

Buffy reached a hand up, slowly tracing the contours of his face. “I
want to be with you. Only you.”

Spike let out a sigh of relief before dipping his head to capture her lips
in a sweet kiss. Buffy moaned as his tongue reached into her mouth to
tangle with hers. Slowly turning over in his arms, Buffy slipped her hands
underneath his shirt and trailed her fingertips along the rigid muscles of
his abdomen. Spike broke away from her lips to kiss a path down her neck.
“What time do you have to be home, luv?” he asked as his own hand
rubbed soothing circles over the length of her stomach.

Buffy felt her breathing accelerate at his movements. “Doesn’t matter.
No one’s home...Mom left town for a few days.”

Spike met her lips in another searing kiss as his hand played with the
hem of the boxers she was wearing. “So I have you all to myself for as
long as I want?” he whispered huskily when they broke away.

Buffy began panting slightly as his hand slipped beneath the shorts. She
nodded. “I-I thought we weren’t going to-“

“We’re not,” he said in a gravelly voice. “But there are other things to
keep us occupied,” he finished as a finger gently separated the outer lips
and toyed with the dampness he found. Spike watched her face as Buffy
gasped, her eyes widening before snapping shut at the sensations.
Teasingly, he began tracing the contours, watching the emotions play on
her face as he gently ran a finger up and down the warm center. Buffy
relentlessly pushed against him, searching for any kind of release. She
opened her wide eyes and stared up at Spike. “Please,” she whispered,
her eyes pleading with him. “Spike, please…I need it.”

Spike smiled at her choice of words as he bent to kiss her passionately as
he slid two fingers into her. Buffy tensed and then cried out in pleasure
at the fulfilling feelings. Spike cautiously moved in and out of her hot
passage, watching as Buffy visibly began to lose control. He felt her nails
dig into the skin of his upper arm as she searched for her release. Spike
finally took pity on her and moved his thumb to the sensitive bundle of
nerves, brushing over it once and smiling as Buffy bucked up to meet him.
She began to shake from the stimulation and cried out again as Spike added
more pressure and began rubbing her in a circular motion. Knowing her
climax was closing in on her, Spike began to penetrate deeper as his
movements picked up speed. He smiled as Buffy peaked, screaming out
her orgasm as he extracted every ounce of bliss from her body.

“That was amazing,” she whispered, her eyes already beginning to close
from the exertion of her climax. “But what about you?”

Spike bent his head to kiss her again as she snuggled deeper into his embrace. “Don’t worry about it, luv. There will be plenty of time in the future. You just go back to sleep, okay?”

Buffy nodded sleepily as she curled even further into his body. Spike
watched as she fell into a peaceful sleep before he let himself follow.

Chapter 8 - Staying


Buffy graduated two weeks later. She and Spike were going strong,
seeing each other almost every night. Tonight, they were planning on watching
movies at her house since her mom was out of town. Buffy felt bad always
going over to his place, so she had insisted that he come over tonight.

Hearing a knock on the door, Buffy checked her hair in the mirror and
gave it a quick fluff. Opening the door, she smiled at Spike, in his usual
leather duster, black jeans, and black t-shirt.

“Hey,” she said brightly as she gave him a kiss.

“So this is the inside of the house,” Spike said as he looked around.

Buffy smacked her forehead. “I’m sorry, I forgot you’ve only been on
the front porch. Let me show you around.”

Buffy took his hand and led him through the downstairs. When they
stopped in front of the stairs again, Spike pulled Buffy into a long,
passionate kiss, slowly deepening it until they broke away from each other,
panting for air.

“Do you want to see my room?” Buffy asked breathlessly.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Summers?” Spike asked with a smile.

Buffy looked up at him with wide eyes. “Maybe.”

Spike felt the air drain out of him at the small confession. “Buffy…I
don’t know. I don’t know if we’re ready.”

“You mean you don’t know if I’m ready,” Buffy said with a slight nod.

“Baby, we’ve only been together for a few weeks. Don’t you want to wait?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “You’re right,” she said with an unconvincing
tone. “Let’s go watch the movies.”

Buffy began to move around Spike as she felt his hand on her arm. “Buffy,
don’t be mad at me, luv.”

“I’m fine, Spike,” she said, pasting a fake smile on her face as she
pulled out of his grip. He sighed as he watched her walk into the living
room, taking a few deep breaths to control his emotions. He wanted her,
there was no doubt about that, but he knew they should wait. He’d never had
strong willpower when it came to women, and it was even harder with Buffy,
considering he actually cared for her.

“Spike? Are you going to stand in there all night?”

Spike took another deep breath as he walked into the room. Sitting
down next to her on the couch, Buffy snuggled into his side. This was going
to be a long night.

* * * * *

Around midnight, Buffy got up and headed up to her room to change. As
she got to the stairs, she turned and looked at Spike. “Are you staying
tonight?” The question was so quiet and full of hope that it brought a slight
smile to Spike’s face.

“If you want me to, luv.”

“I do,” she said softly with a smile. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Spike watched the movie until Buffy came back downstairs. His breath
caught at how beautiful she way. Dressed in a pair of blue satin pajamas with
her golden skin setting off the shade of blue, she looked so beautiful and
innocent that all of Spike’s resolve flew out the window. He found himself
standing up to make his way over to her. Wrapping his arms around Buffy’s
waist, he pulled her closer to him until their lips met.

The passion of the kiss escalated as his hands worked their way under
her top, feeling the soft, warm skin underneath. Buffy moaned into his
mouth as his hands traveled up her body, caressing every inch of her that he
could touch. Both gasped as he brushed the side of her bare breast, igniting
a fire in Buffy and making Spike grow increasingly hard.

Breaking away from her lips, Spike looked down at her passion-filled
eyes as she took his hand and led him upstairs. Walking into her room, Buffy
turned and attacked his lips as her hands frantically began pulling his shirt
free from the waistband of his pants. Their lips parted briefly as she lifted
the shirt over his head, pausing to admire the sculpted muscles in
front of her, tentatively trailing the ridges of his abdomen as he watched her.
Biting her lip, Buffy ran her fingertips over the planes of his chest as she
hooked her hands behind Spike’s neck and pulled him down for a slow kiss.

Spike began slowly unbuttoning the front of her top, growing painfully
hard at the awareness that they were only separated by scraps of
fabric. As he finished his task, Spike broke away from the kiss as he parted the
shirt, staring at her in all her beauty. Buffy nervously crossed her arms in
front of her chest as Spike reached for her and pulled her into another kiss.

“Don’t,” he whispered, breaking away. “You’re beautiful, luv, don’t be
embarrassed.” Slowly, Spike moved her hands that obstructed her body
and slipped the top off her shoulders. Gently trailing a hand over a
breast to palm it in his hand, he smiled at the gasp Buffy let out at the
sensations. “Are you sure about this, Buffy?” he asked in a husky voice.

Buffy nodded. “I’m sure, Spike.” With a shuddering breath, she took
his hand and led him over to her bed. Turning around, Buffy looked into
his eyes as Spike softly traced his fingertips up and down her arms in
relaxing motions. After a moment, Spike let a hand slide up to cup the
back of her head as he drew her closer for a tender kiss. As the passion
threatened to consume them, Spike felt Buffy’s tiny hands working on
his belt buckle and moaned as she slipped the pants down his legs and took
his hardened erection in her hand.

“Is this okay?” Buffy asked in a shy voice as she worked her hand up
and down in a slow rhythm.

“More than okay, luv,” Spike said with some effort as his eyes rolled
back. After a minute, he opened his eyes to see Buffy nervously chewing her
lower lip. With a great deal of control, he broke away from her to lie her
down on the bed before crawling up her body and staring longingly into
eyes. “Buffy…if you want to stop-“

Buffy shook her head. “N-no, I…you see, I-I..I’ve never-“

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby. I know.”

Buffy looked at him in confusion. “You do?”

Spike smiled gently as he brushed a lock of hair off her forehead. “A
woman like you wouldn’t do something as special as this unless it was making
love.”

“A-and…that’s what this is to you?”

“Yes, baby.” He lowered his head to begin kissing the column of her
neck. “That’s exactly what this is to me.”

Buffy moaned, clutching the comforter on both sides of her, as Spike
trailed the length of her body, hooking his fingers on each side of her loose
satin pants, dragging them down her legs and tossing them onto the pile of
clothes on the floor. Buffy gasped as one of his hands snaked in between her
legs to settle between her thighs. Raising up to look into her eyes, Spike
smiled at the wetness he found there before pulling away.

“Where are you going?” Buffy asked, the distress of him leaving
evident in her voice.

“Nowhere, baby,” Spike said as he reached for his jeans on the floor.
Realization dawned on Buffy as he pulled a condom out of his pocket.

“Prepared, aren’t you?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Spike crawled the length of her body a second time as he smiled at her.
“I lose all control when I’m around you, luv. Thought it would be better
to be prepared.”

Buffy smiled, at ease with his gentle voice. “I’m glad,” she said softly.

Spike quickly rolled the condom on his hard length and settled himself
between her legs. “Last chance, Buffy. We can still stop if you want
to, luv.”

Buffy didn’t answer, just pulled him closer for another searing kiss. Spike
kissed her back with the same ferocity as he gently pushed into her.
Buffy moaned into his mouth as his length slid further, moaning again when he
stopped. Spike ran a hand up her body to cup the side of her face,
intensifying the kiss as he pushed through the barrier, taking her virginity.

Buffy broke away from his lips, crying out at the pain that filled her.
Spike stayed frozen inside her, gently caressing any part of her that
he could touch, as she gasped for breath. “It hurts,” she said softly as
she looked at Spike with tear-filled eyes.

Spike felt his throat tighten, knowing that he hurt this beautiful
woman so willingly. “I’m sorry, baby. It won’t hurt much longer, just relax.”

Buffy did as she was told, relaxing her body and feeling Spike begin to
move within her, jolted by the rush of pleasure that swept through her as
he slowly grinded his hips against hers. Buffy moaned and eagerly pushed
back against him, seeking more relief from the receding pain. She gasped as
he pulled halfway out of her, only to push back in and elicit another moan
from her.

Spike was in heaven. He had never felt pleasure this exquisite. He felt as
if he was drowning in her as he began speeding up his thrusts, pulling
out of her more fully before plunging back into her hot depths. After
several minutes of moving in and out of her, Spike felt his climax approaching.
Clenching his jaw, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to refrain from
losing control for as long as possible. As he was about to reach his hand
between them to help Buffy reach her peak faster, he felt her inner muscles
tighten as her nails dug into his back.

Buffy felt the tightening in her stomach and frantically pushed against
Spike as she felt her body begin to spiral out of control. Tightening
her hold on him, Buffy felt her body peak as she let out a scream of bliss
as she came.

Spike’s body hummed at the feel of her muscles clenching him. Thrusting
into her a few more times, he finally let himself go over the edge, his body
pulsing as he grabbed the sheets on either side of Buffy. Fisting them
in his hands, he groaned at the ecstasy that threatened to overwhelm him as
he caught his breath. Opening his eyes, he looked into the depths of
Buffy’s green eyes as she stared at him. Giving her a gentle kiss, Spike
separated himself from her warmth and got up to dispose of the condom.

Buffy watched as Spike left the room, feeling the tears spring to her
eyes as he disappeared from her view. She quickly rolled over, pulling the
comforter over her to hide her nude body. She let the tears fall as she
stared out her window.

Spike reentered the room and looked at Buffy’s figure huddling under
the covers. He frowned but assumed she was just cold and went to slip in
behind her, spooning his body to hers.

Buffy jumped at the feel of his body pressed against hers and sniffled
slightly, trying to reign in her emotions. Spike heard the sniffle, and
his frown deepened. Putting gentle pressure on her shoulder, he rolled her
over to face him. Panic swept through him at the sight of her tear-streaked
face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He noticed she wouldn’t make eye contact with
him, and the panic turned to terror. “Did I hurt you? I know it hurt at first,
luv, but I thought it felt better…I-I thought-“

“Spike,” she said in a strained voice. “Don’t worry about me.”

“How can I not, Buffy?” he asked incredulously. “We just made love, and
you’re lying here in tears. What did I do, baby?”

Buffy sniffled again before making eye contact with him. “Was it…was I okay?”

Spike looked at her in confusion. “You were better than okay, luv. You
were magnificent. Why would you ask that?”

“It’s just…you walked out, and I just thought-“

“Buffy, no! I just had to get rid of the condom, luv. That’s all. Please, believe me, baby,” he whispered as he worriedly caressed her skin, trying to reassure her. He pulled her closer for a kiss as he continued, “I have never felt the way you make me feel, emotionally or physically.”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy whispered, her eyes tearing up again. “I just thought-“

Spike silenced her with another kiss as he pulled her into his embrace.
“Don’t scare me like that, pet,” he whispered into her hair. “I thought you
were going to kick me out.”

Buffy smiled and shook her head. “No. I want you right here.”

Spike smiled as she burrowed deeper into his arms. “That works out
nicely then,” he murmured softly. “Because I have no intention of going
anywhere.”

Chapter 9 - Loving


A few months later, Buffy and Spike lay curled up on his couch. Spike’s hands trailed lazily over her abdomen as she rested her back against his chest. He listened, smiling slightly, at the soft sounds emitting from her. He could almost swear that she was purring, and knowing that he was the one to give her such contentment made him happier than he had ever been.

He thought back over the course of the last few months. They had become much closer, spending almost all of their free time together. Buffy had become more special to him than he could have imagined. She had started college a few weeks ago, and they were practically living together, not letting her mother catch on that she was spending most of her time at his apartment.

Spike felt his grip tighten on her as a feeling of insecurity washed over him. Ever since she had started at UCSunnydale, Spike had been worried that he was going to lose her. That some preppy college guy would come along and sweep her off her feet. He was pleased, but not necessarily surprised, when he had witnessed several men approach her after class or on her way to meet him, and she had politely declined any offers. He knew that he could trust her, just as she knew she could trust him.

And yet, the insecurity remained. Spike was constantly feeling like he
wasn’t good enough for Buffy, that she deserved someone better, so he
had held back from telling her exactly how much he cared for her. Now, as
she rested comfortably in his arms, he felt the emotions wash over him in
waves as he looked down at her beautiful face.

Buffy finally rolled over to face him with a smile on her face. “Okay,
mister. You’ve been staring at me for a good twenty minutes, so what’s
the what?”

Spike smiled down at the woman in his arms. “Just thinking, pet. That’s all.”

“About what?”

“How much I love you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about what
he’d said. As Spike stared into her emerald eyes and felt like he was
getting lost in them, he suddenly felt a brief sense of fear. It was
quickly replaced when he saw the blinding smile that lit up her face.

“You really mean that?”

“Of course I do, luv.”

Buffy squealed and fused her lips to his, her hands winding behind his
neck to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Their tongues battled as the
passion ignited between them. After a few moments, both pulled away,
breathless, and looked into the other’s eyes.

“I love you, too,” Buffy said as she gently traced the angular features
of his face. She smiled at the astonished look he gave her.

“You do?”

“Of course I do, silly,” Buffy said with a playful slap to his chest.
“I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true.”

It was Spike’s turn to pull her to him. He frantically kissed her, his
hands moving over the curves of her body as he tried to get closer to
her. Buffy moaned at the intensity of the moment and returned the kiss with
equal fervor, pushing her body into his.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Buffy was laying beneath
him as he pushed into her body. Panting as she arched into him, she moaned
as he hurriedly sped up his thrusts. She could already feel herself begin
to lose control as his hand wrapped around her waist to pull her even
closer to him.

Buffy gasped as he changed positions on her, angling himself upward,
hitting that elusive spot inside of her. Buffy gasped at her sudden climax,
screaming out her release as she felt the pleasure sweep over her.

Spike panted as Buffy’s inner muscles tightened around him, nearly
letting out a growl as he felt his own orgasm overtake him.

As the two lovers laid intertwined in each other’s arms, Spike leaned
over to kiss her softly. “I love you, Goldilocks.”

Buffy smiled at the new nickname. “I love you, too.”

Chapter 10 - Letting Go


One Year Later


Buffy grasped Spike’s hand in a forceful grip as she watched her mother’s
coffin lowered into the ground. Spike felt the emotions weighing him down
as he tried to remain strong for her. He knew the feelings that were
coursing through Buffy, having experienced them years earlier when his own
mother died. He was becoming increasingly worried about his girlfriend,
since she had yet to cry in the few days that had passed since she came
across her mother’s body.

Now, as she stared down at the ground with an impassive look on her face,
Spike felt his heart go out to her, wishing there was more he could do
besides hold her hand. Everyone else said good-bye and left the couple
alone. Spike stayed quiet for over an hour as he offered his support. As
the sun set on the cemetery, he gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders,
trying to keep her warm against the chilly September air.

“We should probably go, luv,” he whispered softly into her ear. He watched
as she tightened her lips slightly before nodding in agreement. “Do you
want to be alone for a minute, pet?”

Buffy nodded again as he gave her a gentle kiss on the temple and walked
away to stand next to a nearby tree and wait for her. He could only see her
back as she stayed where she was, but he could hear the gentle murmurs of
her talking. After a few minutes, she turned and made her way over to Spike,
silently taking his hand and walking out of the cemetery with him.

“I should have been there, Spike,” he heard her whisper.

“There’s nothing you could have done, luv.”

“You don’t know that,” she said in a strained voice. “You don’t know if she
was in pain, if she needed help.”

“Buffy, she’s been battling a tumor for the last six months. The doctors
said that it was quick, painless.”

“How do they know?” she yelled as they got to the front gates. “They
weren’t there!”

Spike stayed quiet through the outburst, satisfied that she was no longer
showing her despondent attitude.

“What am I going to do, Spike?”

His heart broke at the tone of her voice, sounding like a lost little girl.
Reaching out, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight, running his
fingers through her hair as she clutched at his shirt.

“You’ll figure it out, baby,” he replied softly. “You’re not alone in this.
You have your friends and my dad. And you have me.”

Spike kissed the top of her head, staying where he was as he closed his eyes
against the tears that were fighting to overcome him. He breathed a small
sigh as he felt moisture soak through his shirt and heard the tiny sobs
coming from the woman in his arms. Buffy had matured more in the past
twenty-four hours than she had in the past year, and Spike felt relief course
through him that she was finally letting go.

He held her, stroking her hair, as she cried. As darkness closed in on
them, Buffy slowly pulled away and looked up at her boyfriend. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, luv. That’s what I’m here for,” Spike said, tenderly
kissing her forehead.

“I don’t want to go home tonight, Spike. I-I can’t be there right now.”

Spike nodded in understanding. “Right then. My place it is.” Wrapping a
secure arm around her waist, Spike led her out of the cemetery to his car.

* * * * *

Buffy moaned as the pleasure washed over her, enveloping her cold heart and
warming it as Spike moved on top of her.

After getting back to his place, she had proceeded to lead him to his
bedroom, asking if he could do this for her. Spike had taken one look in
her large, watery eyes and melted, instantly knowing that she needed to
forget about this awful day, if only for a little while.

Spike gasped for air as he rolled off of Buffy, pulling her into his arms
and tenderly caressing her bare skin as they both savored the calmness that
seemed to surround them. “Go to sleep, baby,” he whispered softly in her
ear. “It’s been a long day.”

Buffy mumbled something in reply that Spike didn’t understand seconds
before she drifted off to sleep.

Spike stayed awake, watching her as she slept. He gently trailed his hand
over the smooth expanse of her back as he stared at her peaceful face. He
was happy she’d been able to get to sleep, knowing that the next few weeks
were going to be hard on her.

They had tried to find her father, but it seemed Hank Summers was in Europe
with his secretary and could not be bothered with his only child. Spike
knew that it had hurt Buffy more than she was willing to admit, not having
her father there. Even if he was a deadbeat.

Spike was worried about Buffy. When his mother had been killed by a mugger
years ago, he had at least had a supportive father who had helped him work
threw his grief. Spike was worried that he didn’t have what it took to get
Buffy through this. With a sigh, he decided not to worry about anything
tonight, instead giving a last kiss to Buffy’s forehead and drifting off to
sleep.

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