Disclaimer: Joss, man, there are issues that need to resolved, you just left us hanging...I had to do something!

Author’s note: This was a plot bunny that just wouldn’t go away and as I seem to be suffering from writer’s block on my fic, The Rest of our lives, I plugged this out in a couple of hours last night. Few changes to note concerning this fic: all is happy in Willow and Tara land, they never had the fight about too many spells, and thus no resulting fallout; and Xander and Tara are conspicuously absent, don’t know why, they just didn’t make an appearance.

__________________________________________
Willow scanned the pages for the perfect spell. She had to do something about Buffy’s memories of Heaven. She couldn’t let her friend feel so horrible all the time. Flipping the page, her eyes rested on a spell she had been tempted to do a couple of years ago when she had been trying to get over feeling like crap because Oz left. At the time she had thought it way to advanced for her, and had decided to go with the ‘My Will be Done’ spell instead. That had turned out to be a marvellous success.

But she was a better witch now, Amy the rat aside, most of her spells went right nowadays. Willow looked over the ingredients for the spell and jotted down the ones that she didn’t have at the house.

A quick trip to the magic shop, where Willow had embraced Capitalism and actually paid for the stuff (having just been endowed with parental money) and Willow was ready. Of course she waited until darkness, when Buffy was safely tucked away in her bed.
__________________________________________
Buffy opened her eyes and looked around her room. This wasn’t the room she had been in when she closed her eyes. Buffy shut her eyes, hoping to be transported back to where she had been. Unfortunately when she opened her eyes there she was, still in her bedroom, in Sunnydale, in a house that had been swallowed into the hellmouth some hundred years previously.

“What the hell?” said Buffy.

Buffy gasped when she heard her voice, it wasn’t scratchy and harsh, it sounded, like, like she was twenty years old again. Buffy attempted to sit up, attempted because she had been bed ridden for a month, and she really didn’t think she would be able to. She was surprised when her body started to actually respond, willingly, to her brains commands. Buffy sat up and looked at the room. It looked just as it did, before Willow moved in to it after she came back from the Coven in England after Tara’s death. Buffy shook her head in confusion. This was way too wiggy.

Until she saw her hands. Buffy raised her right, then left hand taking in the sight of her non-wrinkled hands. Buffy flung back the covers of her bed and rushed to the mirror. Looking back at her was twenty year old Buffy, not a wrinkle, not a line, not a grey hair to be seen. Buffy smiled. She still had her own teeth!

Buffy didn’t know what was going on...but she loved it. Buffy started dancing in the middle of her room.
__________________________________________
Buffy bounded down stairs full of energy to see Willow making pancakes.

“Willow!” cried a happy Buffy, rushing to give her friend a hug.

“Good morning Buffy!” said Willow fending off the hug with the spatula. “Are you ok?”

“Are you kidding? I’m fabulous! I feel so young! And look at you with the being alive!”

“Of course I’m alive Buffy. I’m glad you are all happy Buffy though.” Willow smiled to herself, proud that her spell had worked. “Pancakes?”

“Sure! Lovin’ the Willow cakes. Isn’t it just a beautiful day today?”

Willow placed a plate of pancakes in front of Buffy along with the butter and syrup, which Buffy attacked.

“I’m glad to see you got your appetite back,” observed Willow.

“Oh, it totally helps that I have my own teeth again.”

“Huh?”

Buffy heard someone come down the stairs and turned to see who it was with her mouth full of pancake. Dawn walked into the room, rubbing her eyes.

“Morning,” she yawned.

Buffy quickly swallowed. “Dawnie!” Buffy launched herself at her sister and enveloped her in a hug.

“Whoa, what happened to sad depressed Buffy?” asked Dawn.

“I don’t know Dawn,” said Willow all innocent like, “I guess she just woke up like this.”

Buffy pulled back from her hug with Dawn, and gave her a critical look. “You look fourteen.”

“Hey! I’m fifteen I’ll have you know!” Dawn protested. “Willow do I really look fourteen?”

“I would have said that you were edging on the brink of at least sixteen,” said Willow with a smiled, “A mature sixteen.”

Dawn smiled. Buffy watched the exchange with confusion.

“I don’t get it...”

“What don’t you get Buffy?” asked Dawn.

“You’re fifteen.”

“I’m fifteen what’s not!to get? Did you hit your head on a tombstone on patrol?”

“Patrol? I haven’t patrolled in years,” said Buffy still confused.

“You patrolled last night Buffy, after you defeated Sweet, the muscial demon? He wanted to make me his bride?”

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Oh. My. God,” she sputtered.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” asked Willow nervously.

“What...What year is this?” Buffy asked in a whisper.

“2001,” said Dawn, “Buffy what’s going on, you are freaking me out.”

“2001....2001...I remember, I died in 2001, but Willow brought me back, and then ...You say Sweet the musical demon?”

“Yes, Buffy. What year did you think it was?” asked Willow, half joking, half not.

“2103”
__________________________________________
Buffy looked around the Magic Box, it was still as she remembered it before Willow went black eyed and vein-y. Buffy wandered the room as the others discussed the situation. The others being Willow, Giles and Anya. Both of which had received huge hugs from the Slayer. Buffy wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was sure that Giles would find out what. She didn’t want to go back to her own time, mind you. Come on? Who wouldn’t want to relive their youth? And this time she would do it all right.

“So you think you’ve been thrown back in time, Buffy?” asked Giles, cleaning his glasses.

Buffy watched fondly. She missed that, the cleaning of the glasses. She missed Giles in general.

“Yep, looks like I’m all here in my old body. Or should I say newer body, no scratchy voice, no wrinklies, and look, I’ve got my own teeth!”

Buffy had missed her teeth, after all she’d been using some form of denture since she caught a troll hammer in the mouth when she was thirty.

“Yes...uh, remarkable as your lack of dentures is, Buffy, we should discover exactly what caused you to leap a hundred and two years into the past.”

“In the mean time, you can regale us with tales of ourselves from the future,” said Anya.

“I hardly think that would be wise or useful in anyway Anya.”

Anya skulked back to her counter.

“Now what is important here is what were the circumstances before you...came into this time frame. Buffy can you recall what you were doing?” asked Giles.

“I was lying in bed, in a hospital, a hospital bed.”

“Why were you in a hospital?” asked Anya.

“I didn’t say I was in a hospital, I was in a hospital bed. I was at the watcher’s council.”

“Good...good, this is useful. Why were you there?”

“Think about it Giles, I’m a hundred and twenty two, what do you think I was doing? I don’t really think a hundred and twenty two year old is up for jumping on the bed. I‘m a decrepit old granny Giles, except with the granny part.”

“You were sleeping?”

“The big sleep.”

“Pardon?”

“I was dying Giles.”

“Oh dear lord...”

“Oh yeah, and may I say not fun. I remember feeling really weak, and not being able to breathe properly, my eyes were getting really heavy, then when I opened them, I was back in Sunnydale, with my teeth!” Buffy spun a little in the middle of the room, happy to be alive. “There’s just so much that I want to do! Go to the beach and show off my fabu body, have sex, eat lots and lots of junk food, go shopping for cool clothes, go to the bronze, visit my mom’s grave, get drunk, patrol....”

“I’m sure you’ll have time to do all that before I find out how to send you back...”

“Back? Were you not listening when I said I was dying? Why would I want to go back? To a dead body?”

“Of course you are right...but what about our Buffy?”

“Giles, think about this for a moment, we just went through the song and dance in which I sang about how I was in heaven right? Well your Buffy? She’s probably back there, knowing myself like I do...I’m happy, let go. And while you are letting go, I’m going shopping.”

“How are you going to go shopping Buffy? You don’t have any money here?” asked Anya.

“Oh I have account numbers in my head, ones I know are full of dough...god bless vampires who save...”
__________________________________________
Buffy returned from her shopping excursion laden with bags. Setting them down on the floor of the training room at the magic box, Buffy had decided the next thing she was going to do would be to test out her old body to see what it could do.

Buffy changed into some work out clothes that she knew she had stashed in the room and wrapped her hands. Buffy stared intently at the heavy bag for a few moments and the struck out with a power she had not seen for nearly seven decades.

“I think you killed it, pet,” came a voice from the basement entrance. Buffy diverted her eyes from the pile of what once had been her heavy bag to the direction of the voice. It was his voice.

“Spike...” she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

“Ya, it’s me, did the bag do something wrong?” he joked.

Buffy could feel her eyes water. She raised a wrapped hand to her mouth, hiding her trembling lip.

“Slayer?” Spike held a concerned look on his face and approached her slowly.

Finally, she couldn’t hold it anymore, she rushed at him, open arms, and hugged him tightly.

“Oh my god, Spike, I’ve missed you so much. I love you, you didn’t believe me, but I love you I really do!” she sobbed.

Spike stood shocked at the words coming from her mouth. The slayer loved him? When did that happen? Not that he was complaining, he had imagined this moment for ages. His heart rejoiced, but his mind told him that this was not right, something was wrong with his slayer.

“Slayer? Buffy? Why are you acting this way? You saw me yesterday pet,” he said after a considerable pause.

Buffy sniffed her tears back and wiped her eyes. The clasped his shoulders, jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

“Slayer?...Buffy?” gasped Spike between kisses.

“Buffy, I might have found the spell that would cause this...oh dear lord” said Giles as he came into the room.

Buffy hopped down from where she had situated herself and smiled. “I found Spike.”

“What the bloody hell is going on here watcher?” asked Spike.

Buffy clasped Spike’s hand and intertwined her fingers with his. Spike looked down at their interlocking fingers confused. She had been acting all lovey dovey and now in front of the watcher too. It was like they were under that engagement spell of red’s again.

“What did the witch do?” asked Spike, rage starting to become apparent in his voice.

“Dear lord, do you believe that Willow may have done this?” asked Giles.

“I don’t care who did it, Buffy like,” said the slayer with a smile on her face.

“Watcher...” growled Spike.

“It appears that Buffy, our Buffy and this Buffy have switched places, this Buffy, is from the future,” explained Giles.

“A future where the slayer...”

“Loves you, yes,” supplied Buffy. “I know it’s hard to believe, considering that last night, as you remember it, I think I kissed you and ran away like avoid-o girl. That is what happened right? I mean, I haven’t come down with Alzheimer's have I?”

“Yes, that’s what happened, how far in the future are you from, pet?”

“A hundred and two years”

“Bloody Hell,” said Spike, reaching for his cigarettes, one hand still trapped by Buffy.

“So what happened to our Buffy then?” he asked.

“It appears that they merely traded places, one would presume that our Buffy is now in this Buffy’s body,” explained the watcher.

“How do we get our Buffy back?” asked Spike, pulling a cigarette out of the packet with his lips.

“Hold on here. I am your Buffy! Just with more life experience, and I don’t want to go back.”

“What about our Buffy? She’s stuck in your body!”

“No, Spike she’s not,” said Buffy sadly. “She’s dead.”

“What!” he roared. He pulled his hand away from her.

“I was dying! I’m a hundred and twenty two years old Spike, I got pulled out on my death bed. The unhappy Buffy, the one that is still hurting about being pulled out of heaven, well she’s in heaven now. I remember what it felt like, after Willow ripped me out of heaven Spike, ya, it took me a long long time to get over it, but I moved on, she hadn’t yet, and what ever it was that made it so that I’m here in her body and her back in Heaven? I’m sure we both feel the same way. I would have given anything to be able to go back, knowing that there was someone to take my place, to do the slaying, to take care of Dawn, and look here I am. Don’t pull her out of heaven again. Please.”

The two men stood in silence for a while contemplating her words.

“Hey, I just realised something!” declared Buffy. “I’m older than Spike!”

Spike looked for a moment, as he did the mental calculations in his head. “You are at that pet. Not by much though.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike strolled hand in hand into the cemetery. Pausing in front of her mother’s grave, Buffy knelt down.

“Hey mom, it’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance to talk to you like this, well I just want to say, I miss you, and I’m sorry I’m not there to be with you right now, I know part of me is there...It’s just, it’s been hard mom, loosing everyone around me and being cooped up in that sick room for months, with no one visiting me except Missy. That’s one thing I’ll have to change right there, someone has got to persuade Eleanor to name her kid something sensible.” Buffy laughed, “But hey, you’re the one that named me Buffy. It’s genetic isn’t it, the capacity to name kids weird names. Don’t worry about me mom, I’ll take care of Dawn and Spike,” Buffy looked up coyly at the vampire. “I’ll make sure he gets plenty of hot chocolate with those little marshmallows.” Buffy stood up. “Good bye mom, I’ll talk to you soon.”

Buffy stepped away from the grave.

“Thanks Spike,” she said, taking his hand again.

“Did you mean what you said, that you were going to ply me with cocoa and marshmallows?” he asked as they walked out of the grave yard.

“You betcha, you wanna start now?”

“What about patrol?”

“Hot chocolate first, patrol later.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike walked into the house on Revello drive to be confronted by Dawn, who was clearly mad.

“It was your turn to make dinner! And Willow brought your shopping home for you. When did we get the money for you to buy all that stuff!”

“We don’t have the money, as I recall we are broke, flat out broke.”

“Where did you get the money Buffy?”

“From a friend...”

“Some one gave you money to go shopping?”

“No, not so much with the giving, it was more of a taking with out asking.”

“You stole money!?”

“No, it’s complicated, which reminds me, Miss petty theft, pot, kettle...hmmmm? Don’t think I don’ know what’s going with you Dawn. I’m from the future, I know everything....Everything.”

“What’s this pet?” Spike asked curious.

“I don’t know what you are talking about...” denied Dawn.

“I’m old Dawn, not gullible. Listen, return the stuff, and I won’t make a big deal about it. I’d start with the Magic Box first, cause you know Anya will flip when she finds out.” Buffy left Dawn speechless in the hallway.

“What was that all about Slayer?” asked Spike, sitting down at the island in the Kitchen.

“Just something between Dawn and me, no sense in bringing everyone in to it. ‘Sides I need to tell you something, or a couple of somethings... K, you died, or dusted...you probably gathered that after weepy Buffy ran into your arms, anyway besides the point, after you were gone, I was tracked down by your lawyers, Wolfram and Hart...Evil yes, but excellent record keepers. So they find me, weepy and distraught, and tell me that you willed everything to me, the whole shebang, all 5.5 million of it. I never had the account changed, I know the account numbers and everything, and I kinda used some of your savings to go shopping today.”

Spike sat back with his hands folded staring at the island.

“Say something?”

“I must have dusted not long from now, if you got 5.5, cause that’s how much is in there now...”

“I can’t tell you when you die Spike...”

“Why not?”

“Cause this time around I don’t intend to let it happen that way.”
__________________________________________
That night she patrolled with Spike, a solemn sombre Spike, contemplating the world, or maybe the fact that Buffy knew things, she was an oracle into the future. Buffy on the other hand, was having a great time, beating up random vamps.

“You know I haven’t done this for at least seventy five years.”

“Do you know what’s going to happen tomorrow?” he blurted out of the blue.

“Yes, pay off your poker debts, I know you can afford to... Just trust me on this one, ok?” Buffy plunged her stake into her vampire opponent.

“Were you happy?”

“Happy when? That you dusted? God no! I love you, and I never got the chance to say it Spike, wait that’s wrong, I was too afraid to say it, too afraid of what my friends would think, too afraid of how it goes against everything I stood for...I was wrong. I knew that I cared about you, I was just stupid to not let myself fall in love with you. Then I did, and it was too late.”

Buffy walked over to where Spike was standing and took his hands.

“Look, you’ve been by my side, fighting, watching my back since Glory, and ya you’ve done some really stupid stuff, the Buffy bot being a prime example, and you’ve been the only one I could talk to about this whole heaven thing. So, you want a glimpse into the future, here it is. If this hadn’t happened, if the other Buffy was here now, I’d still be fighting it. I’d be denying that I ever kissed you, and beating myself up for kissing you, then after some wacky highjicks, involving Witchy Willow and the guy you owe kittens to, we kiss again, then you’ll find out that your chip doesn’t work on me, something about being brought back from the dead, and we’ll fight, and we’ll shag, and I’ll resent you for it, and myself, because it’s wrong. I’ll use you for sex, oh it will be great sex, wonderful passionate sex, but that’s all it will be for me, cause I think there’s something wrong with me. And you will still love me, and hope that the next time I’ll realise that you love me and that I’ll love you back. And I’ll break your spirit, and your heart. Well you know what? That’s not going to happen now. I love you Spike, the way you are, no soul, bad attitude, cigarettes and all. I’ve had the destructive ‘I want to feel’ sex and it starts to kill us both. I don’t want that to happen. I’ve been so lonely without you all these years. I even married a couple of guys who looked like you just to fill the void,”

Spike gave her a look.

“Oh god, not at the same time. But I divorced them almost as soon as I married them, they weren’t you. I think I was fifty six before I finally gave up that you weren’t going to be reincarnated in some stud muffin. I’ve spent most of my life training Slayers, working for the council and obsessing over you.”

Spike reached up and brushed a piece of hair out of her face.

“Please Spike, just let me love you, like you deserved to be loved.”

“I love you too, Buffy.”

Buffy leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Come on,” she said pulling him towards his crypt, “it’s time to do number 2 on my list of things to do.”

“What’s that pet?”

“Make love with the man I’ve loved for a over a century.”
__________________________________________
 

__________________________________________
Chapter 2: Thursday

“Xander!” screamed Buffy happily.

Buffy bounded into Xander’s arms as he walked into her kitchen.

“Buff? Did someone take happy pills today?” he asked.

“No, silly,” said Buffy , backing away from her friend, “I just didn’t see you yesterday, or for the past 80 or so years. You think I need drugs to be happy to see you?”

“No, I like Happy Buffy, wait, 80 years?”

“Oh, so Anya didn’t tell you the fabulous news of me?”

“No...What happened Buff?”

Buffy turned to see Dawn walk into the kitchen with her school bag.

“Good morning Dawn,” said Buffy with a smile.

“Whatever,”

“Hey! Some sort of acknowledgement would be good here.”

“Crone,”

“Thief,”

“Hey!”

“And I say ‘Hey’ back, I’m not a crone! Look at me with the non croneness.”

“Please, don’t go on about the fact that you still have your own teeth, if I have to hear about your teeth once more I’m going to hurl.”

“Whatever, just you get to fill in Xander on the way to school ok? Have great day.”

Buffy watched Xander and Dawn exit the building, Xander confused, Dawn morose. Buffy had had a great day yesterday, waking up in your twenty year old body would do that to you. She had shopped to her hearts content, with Spike’s money, She’d visited her mom’s grave, she’d patrolled and kicked some undead ass and most importantly she‘d had I love you sex with Spike. A pretty good day. Of course there were other things to fix, to make better for her friends, and there were other things that she really wanted to do now that she wasn’t an old crone any more.

Buffy started the Breakfast dishes, just a Tara walked into the kitchen.

“I slept in, I was up really late last night doing a paper,” explained the witch.

“No problem,” said Buffy with a smile. “But I’m going to hug you.”

“O...okay,” stuttered Tara unsure.

Buffy launched herself into Tara’s arms and gave her a big hug.

“Uh...thanks Buffy,” said Tara. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh totally,” said Buffy going back to her dishes.

From behind her, Buffy could hear Tara gasp. Buffy turned to face her shocked friend.

“B..Buffy...your aura...it’s like you are really old...”

“122 actually, Willow didn’t tell you?”

“No...What happened? Did Willow do another spell?”

“Not that I know of, but if she did, Good Spell. I’m from 102 years in the future, Buffy that was here, I’m thinking she’s in heaven, cause the fact that I was pulled out just as I was about to kick it.”

Buffy winced at her own vulgar words, but shook her head. She was twenty now, she didn’t have to be a role model for the masses anymore, just Dawn, and she wasn’t there.

Buffy took another look at her friend and realized that Tara was speechless. Buffy smiled.

“Don’t worry about it Tara. I’m happy Buffy.”
__________________________________________
Buffy sat in front of the TV, enjoying Passions of all things. Buffy had found a couple of Spike's old tapes and had decided to curl up with a lot of junk food (#3 on her list) and see what all the fuss was about. At the same time, she decided to write out a list of things she felt needed to be done.

Buffy’s list of things to do now that I’m not an old crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it.
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds

Buffy put down her pen to munch on some Cheetos, and took a swig of her non diet coke. Buffy took a look at her list and added two more things to it.

14. De-rat Amy.
15. Find Rack and take him out.
__________________________________________
Buffy was feeling good and blob like as 3:30 in the afternoon rolled around. She had drunk an entire 2 L of Coke and a bag of Cheetos, a bag of all dressed Lays and a bag of Swedish berries. Buffy let a loud burp echo through the empty house.

“Ewwww,”

Ok make that an almost empty house.

“Dawn?” Buffy called out.

“Since when did you get so gross?” Dawn asked, coming into the living room.

“Since I thought no one else was home. How was school?”

“Blech, as usual.”

“Alright, I believe you, what are you doing on Saturday?”

“Why?”

“I’m going to the beach, and I want you to come with.”

“Can’t, I don’t have a bikini that fits anymore.”

“Oooh,” Buffy pushed the empty chip bowl off her lap and dug into her sweat pants pockets. Buffy pulled a couple of bills out, and handed them to Dawn.

“Fifty bucks? Where did you get fifty bucks?”

“My sugar daddy, use it to buy your self a suit.”

“Your sugar daddy?”

“Considering that he now knows I’m taking money from him, and the fact that he got seriously laid last night, damn straight he’s my sugar daddy.”

“Ewwwwww, impressionable youth here!”

“I thought you were 15, being on the verge of a mature 16 year old?”

“I still don’t want to hear about my sister’s sex life.” Dawn sat down on the couch, “ Can I ask a question though? Who is this sugar daddy of yours?”

“Spike.” Buffy smiled.

Dawn’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me!!!! You and Spike are ... making with the smoochies? When did this happen?”

“Technically...in a couple of weeks from now.”

“Huh?”

“Remember? I’m future girl, or future crone, depending on the awakeness of Dawn. I decided to move up the time table. He deserved it, and he’s way hot, completely drool worthy.”

Dawn smiled. “I’m so happy for you!” she beamed, launching herself into Buffy’s arms.

“I’d be happier if I knew that you did what I asked you last night...you did take care of that right?”

Dawn blushed, “Most of it...”

“It’s a start. So Beach, Saturday, I’m thinking potato salad and Veggie dogs.”

“Veggie dogs?”

“Oh, I became a vegetarian in 2013, or a sort of vegetarian, did you know that gummy bears have beef fat in them? I try not to think about it...”
__________________________________________
Feeling the gummy bears literally depositing themselves onto her thighs Buffy decided exercise was in order. Leaving Dawn to do her homework, Buffy walked to the Magic Box, eager to talk to Giles about #11 and #12 on her list.

Buffy found Anya hidden behind a bridal magazine at the counter.

“Hey, Anya, is Giles here?” asked Buffy sitting down at the research table.

“Oh, ya he’s in the back, is there anything I can do for you?”

“Actually, yes, brides maid dresses, I don’t know exactly how deep into the selection process you are, but I’d like to give a piece of friendly advice, radioactive green, not a good choice, and you might want to move the date of the wedding, it rains.”

“It rains?”

“On the day you and Xander have set...torrential down pour.”

“Oh, thanks Buffy, I knew there was a reason I wanted you as my maid of honour. I really haven’t decided on the bride’s maids dresses yet, I’m still debating between dresses or blood larva and burlap.”

“Well let me know. And Anya?”

“Yes?”

“I’m honoured to be your maid of honour. Wow, that sounded redundant, didn’t it?”

“The English language actually baffles me at times,” admitted the ex demon.

Buffy smiled.

Giles came out of the back room of the shop with his nose in a book, an accounting book.

“Anya we seem to be missing two rabbits feet.”

Anya’s eyes went wide in terror. “Don’t ask me about rabbit’s feet Giles, I refuse to touch those things!”

“Be that as it may, we are still missing the items. Oh...Buffy, welcome, you waiting for me?”

Buffy nodded. “I have a couple of things I need to talk to you about. First, I need money. No I don’t want you to give me money. I want the watcher’s council to start paying me for my services. I’ve died for them, I think I deserve to be on the payroll.”

“Uh...There is no precedent, no Slayer has ever been paid before...It’s a sacred duty.”

“A sacred duty that isn’t paying for my gummy bears Giles. Will you look into it? I don’t think that the watcher’s council really wants their non incarcerated Slayer flipping burgers at the Doublemeat palace. ...Crap!”

Buffy shook her head.

“What is it Buffy?” asked Giles concerned.

“Nothing, I just remembered something. Something else that has to go on my list of things to do. Will you do it Giles?”

“Of course Buffy, I don’t promise success though, Travers is not a man with whom precedents are made.”

“I know you will do your best Giles.”

“You said that there were a couple of things that you needed to talk to me about.”

“I need you to do some research for me, well actually for yourself, cause things are going to start to happen and we need to be on top of it this time, and that can only happen when you are here in Sunnydale with us.”

“What do you need me to research?”

“The First Evil,”

“Dear Lord, you aren’t serious, you can’t fight the first evil Buffy.”

“Oh yes I can, I have and I will. Look Giles, I need to get a head start on this, this year, not so much with the eventful, after I take care of some nerds. We can use this time to better prepare for the apocalypse.”

“But you lived through this apocalypse, it can’t have been that bad,”

“Oh it’s bad, the worst one yet in fact, and we lose a lot of good people.” Buffy resisted the urge to look in Anya’s direction.
__________________________________________

Buffy met Spike for patrol that night. Buffy completely had to bite her lip to keep from giggling she was so happy. And she could tell Spike was happy too.

“What did you do today?” he asked.

“Oh watched Passions, eat a spectacular amount of junk food, thereby completing # 3 on my list of things to do. Talked to Dawn, who by the way now knows the identity of my sugar daddy...”

“Sugar Daddy?”

“Yep,” Buffy took his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Until the council starts paying me, I think I’ll be living off of you.”

Spike kissed her back, grabbing her butt and pulling her closer.

“I want you to come live with me and Dawn.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me Mr. vampire hearing. I want you to come live with me and Dawn.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Buffy’s nose wrinkled, “Cause I love you silly vamp. Cause I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Everyone else pretty much lives at my house, how about you too? And you are paying for a full copper re-pipe of said house.”

“I don’t know how you got me to agree to pay for that mess...”

“I think it got decided sometime between the 4th and 5th time. Besides I think you like being my sugar daddy.”

Spike groaned.

“Please say you will come live with us?” Buffy rubbed herself seductively against his body, before pulling away. “Please say you will sleep in my bed and make love to me every single night for the rest of my life?” Buffy whispered, so lowly that only a vampire would have heard her.

Spike let out a growl and tackled her to the ground, pinning her arms to the grass and kissing her senseless.
__________________________________________
Buffy set Amy’s cage on the island in the kitchen

“So we meet again,” said Buffy peering into the cage. “This time it’s gonna be different Miss Madison.”

The rat in the cage continued to run in the metal exercise wheel.

“Oh I see you there, trying to ignore me, just you mind who de-rats you.”

Buffy lifted the metal frame off the cage and scooped the rat up in her hands. Buffy peered into Amy’s rat eyes and started muttering under her breath.

There was a flash of light, leaving Buffy and Amy the rat in the kitchen just as they were.

Buffy put Amy back in her cage and set the metal bars back in place.

“One more night as a rat for you,” said Buffy as she took the cage back to Willow’s room, hoping not to wake up the sleeping Wiccas.
__________________________________________

Second Youth
By Ariel Dawn

Summery: Buffy continues to whittle down her list.

Disclaimer: Joss made season 6 painful, I’m trying to make it happy.
__________________________________________
Friday

Buffy woke up with a brilliant smile on her face. She breathed in and out, happy to be alive. Then she heard the scream.

Buffy heard Dawn bolt out of her room and into Willow and Tara’s. Calmly Buffy threw back her own covers and headed to the congregation of women.

The first thing that Buffy noticed when she entered Willow and Tara’s room was the large amount of sawdust that had exploded all over the room. In the middle of which stood Amy, rat no more.

“Good morning Amy,” said Buffy cheerfully.

“How...How did it happen?” asked Dawn.

“I woke up and just looked at her in the cage all burrowed and sleeping, and then whammy! Amy the rat was not the rat.”

“I feel strange,” said Amy, “like I need to chew on something.”

Buffy snickered. “That’s probably a side effect from being a rat for so long.”

“Probably. Um...could I get some clothes?” asked Amy.
__________________________________________
“So did Willow catch you up with all the happenings about Sunnydale?” said Buffy as she scooped scrambled eggs onto Amy’s plate. Amy had been given some of Tara’s sweats, they were too big, but Buffy and Willow were too short to lend clothes and Dawn was too skinny.

“You really blew up the school?”

Buffy smiled, “Yep, I had help though,”

“And you were dead? But now you are alive, but from the future an old lady from the future?”

“Gee let me guess, Dawn added that part.”

“She said something about not mentioning your teeth.”

Buffy giggled. “I guess I made too much of a big deal about that huh?”

“Willow doesn’t know how I was brought back to being not a rat...”

“Do you?” Buffy asked.

“No, it’s funny, I don’t.”

“Oh well, it’s a good thing you are back to being not rat Amy. I need your help with something though...”

“Sure, it’s the least I can do for ... I don’t know what.”

“There’s this guy, name’s Rack, do you know him, or of him?”

Amy suddenly found her eggs very interesting.

Buffy waited for an answer. When there was none, she continued.

“It’s ok if you do. I need some help tracking him down.”

“What are you going to do to him?”

“Nothing fatal.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Amy walked into the Magic shop in time for Anya to flip the sign to open.

“Buffy!” greeted Anya happily, “I have some dresses that I’d like you to give your honest opinion on, and who is this?”

“Anya, this is Amy,”

“Amy?” asked Anya.

“The rat,” clarified Amy.

“Right! I remember now. Congratulations on not being a rat anymore.”

“Thanks,” said the witch unsure.

“Anya, Giles called me he said he wanted to talk?” asked Buffy.

“Oh yes, once again he is recounting the...” Anya cringed “rabbit’s feet, he seems determined to find the things.”

Anya thrust a few magazine clippings at her maid of honour. Buffy peeked through them hesitantly. Sure enough among the selections was the hideous dress she had worn to Anya’s wedding the first time around.

“See I like these three, but I’d like a second opinion,” said the bride to be.

“Ok, right now I’m going to say definite no to this one,” said Buffy holding up the picture of the radioactive dress, “This colour green does no one’s complexion any good, plus that kind of bright, the guests will be looking at your wedding party and not you. Trust me on this I’ve been married six times. My third wedding, to this guy named William Blakely, I chose a very similar colour of green, cause it was the in colour that year, as my bride’s maids colour, in the photo’s afterwards, I found Dawn and Willow in every picture, but not me. Learn from me Anya.”

Anya had been nodding the whole time. “What about the others?”

“This mint green, I like it a lot, and the sea foam? It’s not my favourite. I like the mint.”

Buffy handed back the pictures and stalked about the room, looking for the video camera that was hidden there. Unfortunately she was halted in her progress by the appearance of Giles, his nose in a book. With his nose in that book, whatever it was, he failed to notice Amy straight away.

“Hey Mr Giles,” said Amy trying to get his attention.

“Dear Lord, Amy, you...you aren’t a rat!”

“Not a rat.” she agreed.

“Did Willow....?”

“Nope, Willow doesn’t know how it happened,” said Buffy. “Giles you wanted to talk to me?”

“Right, I’ve received an answer to your request for a salary. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, Travers has denied the request. I’m so sorry Buffy.”

Buffy gave her watcher a smile.

“Thanks for putting in an effort Giles. It’s not your fault that they are all stick in the mud overbearing pompous pricks. This just means it’s time for plan b.”

“Plan b?”

“B, as in blackmail.”

“You intend to blackmail the watcher’s council?”

“Oh I’ve got dirt on them like you wouldn’t believe.”
__________________________________________
“Are you sure about this?” asked Amy.

“Yes, I am. Look just tell me where Rack’s place is and you can go,” said Buffy.

Buffy and Amy were walking in the afternoon sun, up and down the alleys in Sunnydale’s questionable down town district. Suddenly Amy stopped dead.

“There,” she said. “Right in front of you.”

“Thanks.” Buffy put her hand up in front of her and pushed forward, her hand disappeared. Buffy pulled her hand back and turned to the witch. “You don’t have to stay.”

“You sure you will be ok?”

“Oh ya, I’ll be fine. Amy? When you go back to my house...If there is an ugly garden gnome next to one of the trees? Smash it for me?”

“Uh...sure Buffy..” Amy turned and ran back down the alley.

“Here I come” muttered Buffy as she passed through the barrier into Rack’s lair.
__________________________________________
Buffy looked at the cowering mass of what was once the mighty Rack before her feet. She really didn’t understand his reaction. After all she hadn’t laid a hand on him, technically. Buffy looked with pity on the other two magic junkies that were in the room. They had seen Buffy pull all of Rack’s powers out of him, leaving him the way he was.

Buffy stepped away from Rack and to the doorway. Looking over her shoulder, Buffy whispered one word,

“Forget”
__________________________________________
Buffy skipped home in a gleeful mood. She had promised to wow everyone with her not yet famous vegetarian lasagna. She had loved the reaction from Dawn when she had offered to cook something, from scratch.

“Do you expect us to survive this onslaught?”

Yes, in fact, she was tempted to tell Dawn that her lasagna was the only way that Eleanor would eat her vegetables for two years. But then Buffy thought it might not be a good idea to start talking about Dawn’s kid with Dawn

There was a lot of things that she shouldn’t talk about with the rest of the Scoobies, but Buffy didn’t care. If she did something wrong, she could chalk it up to being a crazy old lady. She’d been one for so long...

Buffy laughed to herself , then took off down the road.
__________________________________________
Buffy ran into Restfield cemetery. She fully expected him to be asleep, it was noon after all, and there things to do for tonight, grocery shop (with Spike’s money), find the company plates, start her blackmailing letter to the Council of Wankers and clear out a couple of drawers for Spike to move in. He wouldn’t be staying in the crypt anymore if she could help it.

Buffy opened the door to the vampire’s home quietly and trod down stairs. Buffy’s breath caught as she spied him lying spread eagled on the bed, his bleached locks tossled, and covered only by the sheet that had fallen just past his waist. She was getting turned on just by looking at him.

Stealthily, she removed her clothes and slipped into bed with him, snuggling close to him. He smelled so good, looked so good, and he was in her arms. Unbidden, tears started forming in the corners of her eyes.

Spike groaned and turned over in his sleep, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.

She had been so lonely for such a long time, because of him. He had ruined her for other guys. No man she had ever met, much less married could compete with his memory. Ya it was unfair, but then, she was entitled to her eccentricities. Her second husband had made the unfortunate mistake of initiating the who loves who more game one night, three weeks after their wedding. She had ended the game, the conversation and the marriage with one phrase: Not as much as Spike did.

And now she was crying, because she had missed him, because he was here now, and because she couldn’t think up a way for him to come out of the battle with the First Evil with out him dying.
__________________________________________
“There’s a Slayer in my bed,” he said two hours later.

Buffy had been just sitting there, holding on to him, enjoying the intimacy.

“Good afternoon!” she beamed.

“I didn’t go to sleep with a slayer in my bed.”

“Nope, you didn’t, good thing to, cause if it’s not me who’s the slayer in your bed, I’m gonna kick Faith’s ass.”

A smile spread over Spike’s face, like he had just realised something.

“There’s a naked slayer in my bed.”
__________________________________________
Buffy didn’t actually get home again until nearly 4pm. She would have to hustle to get dinner ready by six. Dawn was put on cheese grating duty, while Willow chopped veggies. Tara was drafted to find the company plates and set the table. Buffy stood stirring the sauce while the noodles cooked. Buffy couldn’t remember the last time she had had an opportunity to make her special dish for anyone. It was probably at the last Summers family reunion, when Buffy had been informed that she was going to be a great great great aunt.

“Are we still going to the beach tomorrow?” asked Dawn as she grated mozzarella.

“You betcha!” Buffy smiled. “I can’t wait to see your new suit and I bought a video camera for the occasion.”

“With your Sugar Daddy money?”

“Absolutely!”

Willow stopped chopping. “Sugar Daddy?”

“Oh yeah” Buffy turned off the burner cooking the noodles and took the pot to the sink to be drained.

“Buffy Anne Summers! Are you going to tell me or not?” asked Willow, waving the knife around.

“First of all, Wills, put down the knife and step away from the cutting board.”

Willow gave that nervous giggle of hers and put down the knife.

“You will find out the identity of quote, unquote Sugar Daddy, at dinner. It’s like mystery dinner theatre, except for the theatre part.”
__________________________________________
The mood around the table was mixed. Buffy herself, was vastly pleased with pretty much everything. Dawn was equal parts moody teen and happy kid. Willow was cautious, Anya bubbly, Giles serious and Xander glared menacingly at Spike who looked very uncertain. Tara was glad and Amy, well not being a rat anymore, it had it’s perks. She refused to eat anything pellet shaped or with cheese (with the exception of tonight’s meal, as it was polite and it was the least she could do...for she didn’t know what).

Dawn was the first to try the main course, eagerly the rest of the guests watched in awe and apprehension.

“Wow! Buffy you learned to cook!” gushed Dawn. “It only took you 102 years...”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I’ve been making this since ... Well never mind since, it’s been a good long time.”

Buffy inwardly chastised herself. Must stop thinking about nieces!

Buffy’s guests raised their forks and dug in.
__________________________________________
As the meal wound down, Buffy took a momentary lull in the conversation to make an announcement.

“I have something I’d like to say. Several things actually. First we are all going to the Beach tomorrow, Bronzing tomorrow night, at which point I intend to get completely hammered, and hope to be poured into bed by Spike.”

This earned a grunt from Xander.

“I’ve asked Spike to move in here with me.”

Buffy waited for the collective gasp, but it didn’t come. Xander did try to say something, but his mouth was promptly covered up by Anya.

“I love him and I am gonna love who I wanna love. I’ve been alone for a long time and it’s time this Slayer stopped being alone. Who wants pie?”

“I want pie,” said Dawn right away.

“That was beautiful Buffy, can I use that in my wedding vows to Xander?” asked Anya.

“What the pie part?”

“No the alone part.”

“Of course Anya.”

Buffy left the table to get the pie, only to be followed by Spike, who hadn’t said a word.

In the kitchen the silence was deafening between them. Buffy could hear Dawn in the dinning room giggling about Buffy and Spike smoochies, and Willow asking if Spike was the sugar daddy.

“I love you,” he finally and simply said.

“I know, cause I love you too. Took me a hell of a long time to figure it out.”

Spike started to walk towards her but she held up her hand.

“Hold that thought.”

Buffy grabbed the pie, the pie plates and forks and the server and headed into the dining room.

“Here’s the pie, I have some place to be right now.”

Buffy turned, leaving a rather bewildered group of people returned to the kitchen, grabbed her boyfriend and headed out the door.
__________________________________________
“You realise when I move into your house, we won’t be able to have middle of dinner sex, pet,” Spike said as he stroked her arm.

Buffy rolled over the edge of the bed to look for her shoes.

“Life’s too short to not do what you want to do Spike. It’s my house, if I want to make love to you between the main course and dessert, then I will. Have you seen my other shoe?”

“Where are you going pet?”

“Mmmm,” she moaned and rolled back into his arms. “We, are going on patrol, and then we are going to pack up your stuff, and then we are moving you to our house.”

“Is that so pet?”

“That is so. I’ve decided that what is going to happen, and by golly, it’ll happen. I’m THE Slayer, Buffy Anne Summers, Master Trainer, Head Watcher and World Saver time and time again and oh crap I’ve said too much haven’t I?”

“You were the head of the bleedin’ council of wankers?”

“Head Wank herself.” Buffy fell back on the pillows of Spike’s bed.
__________________________________________
 

Chapter 4:
__________________________________________
Saturday

Buffy woke up to feel the wonderfulness of Spike’s arms around her. With a smile she rolled towards him and kissed his chest.

“I have to get up, Beach party today. I have to put together the potato salad.”

Spike groaned. “I thought you made the bloody thing yesterday?”

“I boiled the potatoes yesterday,”

Spike pulled her closer to him and began to nuzzled her neck.

“Spike...” Buffy warned.

He didn’t stop. Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled.

“You aren’t planning on letting me up out of this bed are you?”

“I like naked Slayer in my bed.”
__________________________________________
Buffy laid on her bright pink beach towel, beside her, was set up the video camera, tripod and all, taping everything. Everything in place, Buffy grabbed a cell phone out of her beach tote and dialled.

“Good morning!” she said happily in to the phone.

There was a groan from the other end.

“No complaints Mr, I’m a Vampire so I can sleep all bloody day. Up up up!”

More groaning.

“Spike, get your lazy ass out of that bed and go turn on the tv.”

“Beg pardon?” said the vampire finally gaining some amount of ability to turn thoughts into rational speech.

“Spike, down stairs, turn on tv. I promise you’ll like.”

Buffy heard him trudge down the stairs and into the living room.

“Ok, the bloody thing is on, there’s no picture though.”

“Ok, hold on, I have to hang up the phone.”

Buffy hung up and redialled, setting the phone on the video camera. Buffy stepped back from the camera and waved.

“Is there picture now?” she asked the camera.

“Bloody Hell!” came the response from the phone.

“I’m glad you like. I wanted you to be able to come to the beach too,”

“How did you do this?”

“Oh I’m techno girl now. Hold on Giles needs help with the BBQ.”

Buffy rushed over to help her watcher, just as Dawn came up from the water.

“Buffy? When’s lunch?” asked Dawn.

“Soon, say hello to Spike,” said Buffy from beside the BBQ.

“Hi Spike, welcome to the Beach.” Dawn waved at the camera.

“Hello yourself Nibblet,” came Spike’s voice from the phone.

Dawn jumped. “Holy Crap!” she screamed.

Spike chuckled. Buffy nearly lost it and had to keep herself from falling over she was laughing so hard.

“Not funny Buffy!” Dawn stormed off with her towel.

“But it so was!” laughed Buffy. “Oh look Xander and Anya are here!”

“What’s wrong with Dawn?” asked Xander.

“She can’t take a joke,” replied Buffy. “Did you bring drinks?”

“Sure did, and the jelly doughnut goodness.”

“This is your last box of donuts Mister Harris, if you don’t stop you won’t be able to fit into your tux!” said Anya.

“Anya, the wedding isn’t for months!” protested the groom.

“Looks to me like the whelp could stand to lose a few pounds,” came Spike’s voice.

Xander jumped a bit (not as much as Dawn) and started looking around frantically for the owner of the vampire’s voice.

“Did everyone hear that or am I officially hearing voices?”

“I heard it,” said Anya as she raised her hand.

“I brought Spike to the beach,” said Buffy proudly, indicating the video camera.

Xander walked over to the device and inspected it. “You mean he can see us but we can’t see him?”

“Oy! Whelp you are blocking my view!”

Xander jumped back a bit.

“I think it’s wonderful,” said Anya pulling off her shorts and t-shirt to reveal a bikini that perfectly matched Buffy‘s towel.

“Spike, stop ogling Anya,” ordered Buffy.

“What makes you thing I was looking at her at all, pet?”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Do you really want me to answer that Spike? Anyway it’s lunch time, go to the fridge, I left you some salad and some blood.”

“Salad? I’m not eatin’ bloody salad,”

“Fine, drink your blood, be difficult.” Buffy turned and waved at the three witches and the key who were throwing a Frisbee around.

The group gathered around the assorted blankets and towels, to be treated to veggie dogs and potato salad, ice cold cokes and assorted left-overs from the night before.

“I apologise for the tardiness of the meal,” said Giles, putting mustard on his hot dog, “I could not get the infernal contraption lit.”

“Ooh, you should have asked me, Giles, I’m very good with fire, in the ‘I’m a witch I can make it’ sense, not in the pyromaniac sense,” babbled Willow.

“No, it’s fine, Wills, Giles and I got it done, and look to prove it, hot food! Magic doesn’t need to be used all the time, especially for little things like starting fires,” said Buffy helping herself to a coke.

“So the G-man didn’t get his merit badge,” observed Xander, in between mouthfuls.

Giles glared.

“Pet? Did you do something to this salad?” Spike asked.

“Yes, just eat it, you’ll like.”

“Ewwwwww,” cringed Dawn, “You didn’t put blood in it did you?” Dawn poked at her own salad with revulsion.

“I didn’t do anything to your salad Dawn!”
__________________________________________

Buffy was dressed and makeup-ed and prowling around her house, looking for cameras. Dawn was still complaining about how she should be allowed to go, but Buffy had put her foot down. Fifteen year old Dawn, no matter how much she was on the verge of being a mature sixteen, was not going to the Bronze where Buffy intended to get completely sloshed.

Buffy was waiting for the others to get ready. Spike had put no effort into dressing up, not that she expected him to, he was sexy in what he usually wore, ok, he would be sexy in anything and nothing. Buffy looked down at her own outfit, very dark, very revealing and something she would have yelled at Dawn for wearing. Ya I’m a hypocrite, but I’m old, gimme gimme gimme

Giles had agreed to patrol for the night, so that Buffy could have a night off. It was very nice of him, but Buffy had a feeling he only did it so he wouldn’t be asked to come with.

Anya was the first of the girls to come down stairs. Why she was getting ready here? Buffy really had no clue, especially since Xander was meeting them there.

“Oh Buffy, I meant to ask you, since you are my maid of honour, Bachelorette party?”

Buffy smiled at the look on Spike’s face, who had been watching TV but now had his full attention on the slayer.

“Of course you will have a bachelorette party Anya? How could we not have one? And this time we can have strippers!”

“What do you mean this time? Didn’t you get me strippers the last time?”

“No, Xander said no, and at the time I was kinda grateful, I was so not in a mood to have fun then.”

“Did you have strippers at any of your bachelorette parties?”

Buffy smiled at that. “The first one ya, but by the time my second wedding rolled around the council decided I had to be a role model and all that...no more fun for Buffy.”

“Just how many times have you been married pet?” asked Spike.

“Why Spike! I’m only 20 years old, I haven’t married anyone,” she said coyly.

“Buffy...” he warned.

“Spike...” she warned right back. “You don’t need to know that. It will just lead to other questions and a lot storming around the house and breaking things.”

Spike smirked. “I’ll have the answers I want by the end of the night pet.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Ya you are probably right, that still doesn’t mean you are going to like what you hear.”

“I say we do a truth Spell on her and make her tell us all her secrets!” giggled Willow as she and Tara walked into the living room. “Ready to go?”
__________________________________________
Buffy’s head bobbed up and down to the music. This was fantastic! She hadn’t been dancing for what seemed like eons. It was probably more like decades, lots of decades. They found that Xander had already secured them a table, and was chatting with one of his work friends, Richard.

Buffy frowned. She knew Richard, he had been invited to her birthday party next year. Buffy introduced herself to Richard right away, giving him a big smile and then turned to introduce Spike.

“Richard, this is my boyfriend, William Darlington, we work in the same business.”

Richard passed a forced smile on his face and turned to Xander quizzically, then asked, “What exactly do you do?”

“We are in protection,”

“Like the police?”

“Sorta, but for a very private company, secret hush hush kinda thing.”

Richard looked a little impressed.

“Your name is Darlington?” Anya asked Spike seriously.

“What of it? And how did you find out?” he asked Buffy.

“Come on Spike, I’m ancient, I had access to the Council’s libraries and public record archives while I lived in London and you don’t think I didn’t have time to look up every little thing I could about you?”

“You’re ancient?” asked Richard.

“Oh yeah, 122, actually, not as old as Anya though.”

“1120 actually,” said Anya proudly.

“Huh?”

Xander tried to distract his friend, “Goofy kids, pulling your leg, they really should stop and I mean stop.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, then turned to Spike. “I need tequila stat!” she beamed and pulled Spike towards the bar.
__________________________________________
Buffy was hammered. She liked it. She liked it a lot. She liked the fact that she was practically doing Spike on the dance floor, and she wanted more.

Buffy leaned in to Spike’s ear and licked it. “Join me in the alley, love?” she purred.

“What happens in the alley, pet?”

Buffy smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
__________________________________________
 

Chapter 5:

Sunday

Buffy moaned. The room was too bright, even though she knew that the curtains were closed. She was seriously afraid to move, badness could ensue. She would feel Spike’s arms on her skin, and no offence to him, she just wanted not to be touched. Buffy tired to roll away but regretted it straight away. Buffy moaned.

“Hung over are we pet?” Buffy could tell even with her eyes closed that he was smirking. Buffy tried making her mouth work, but found it too dry. Buffy rolled and aimlessly felt her bed side table for her bottle of water. Spike anticipated her and uncapped it for her.

“Ug” she finally said, getting some water into her.

“How are ya feelin’ pet?” he asked.

Buffy had the urge to pop him one in the nose, just for asking the question. She looked at him, intending to give him what for, but instead, bolted for the bathroom.
__________________________________________

Half an hour later, Buffy emerged from the bathroom purged, showered and pain relieved. Lunch time had come and gone.

“Are you hung over enough?” asked Dawn much more loudly than necessary. Buffy cringed.

“Yes, thank you,” she said

Dawn smiled. “What did you do last night?”

“Danced, drank, other things I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Figures. The thing I don’t understand is why this was such a big deal.”

“It’s a very big deal Dawn,” said Buffy, “I’ve so much just wanted to be spontaneous and carefree, without having to think of the consequences for a long time. I’ve been a responsible adult far too long, I just wanted to be a frivolous girl again. That’s really hard to do when you are The Slayer and you’ve celebrated your centennial.”

“Well now you have the hang over to prove it.”

“Yep,” said Buffy reaching for her water bottle.
__________________________________________
“I need someone to proof read for me,” said Buffy with an innocent look on her face. “Please?” She handed the piece of paper to Spike, who was trying to watch Passions.

“You can write while you are hung over?”

“Happy Blue Pills are my friends.”

“Happy Blue Pills?”

“Advil Migraine liqui-gels, Happy Blue pills.”

“So what is it that I’m reading then?”

“Blackmail.”

Spike smiled and began to read.

Dear Mr Travers,

Allow me to firstly congratulate you and the Board of Elders at the Watcher’s Council on your acquisition of the Mark of JeiZel for the archives. I trust this relic will improve your research into the demon creation myth.

The main purpose of this letter is to follow up on the inquiry made by my watcher, Rupert Giles on the possibility of a salary for The Slayer.

I am well away that Slayers have never been paid for their slayer duties, however, in this day and age and considering the long life of the present Slayer (myself), it would seem reasonable and even sound policy to provide an income for Slayers that are past the age of majority. In today’s capitalistic world a Slayer who does not need to concern herself with how to provide for herself and her family those basic necessities of life, is a Slayer who can more effectively do the duty for which the Powers That Be have chosen her.

I will conclude this letter with a word of caution about your newest acquisition. Close proximity to bread mould can have a rather messy effect. Good luck with your research. I pray no Vlax demons find out about it and I look forward to hearing from you about the salary.

Dutifully yours,

Buffy Anne Summers,
Chosen One

“Who or what are the Board of Elders?” asked Dawn, who was now reading over Spike's shoulder.

“Department heads of the council, like there is a chief librarian, one is in charge of locating potentials, one is in charge of watcher training, etc.”

“And the Mark of JeiZel?”

“Just something that should not exist but does. Kinda like the Gem of Amara, but it doesn’t make anyone invincible. In the right circles though it could be very powerful.”

“Cryptic much?”

“Oh I try.”

“It’s good pet. I don’t know exactly how it will blackmail the wankers but you know best,” said Spike finally.

“Ooooh I like it when you say that,” she cooed.

Buffy kissed his cheek and left the room to type up her letter.
__________________________________________

After a few moments retyping her letter, a considerable afternoon shag and reading over Dawn’s history paper, Buffy and Spike took a car trip.

Buffy wanted to give Giles a copy of her letter to the council and she had double meat business to take care of.

Giles opened his door, book in hand.

“Buffy what a delightful surprise.”

Buffy handed him the copy of the letter.

“I wrote this. This is your copy, the other I’ve already put into the mail.”

Giles looked perplexed for a moment but began to read. Buffy looked over her shoulder to where Spike was waiting in the car. He was tapping his fingers to the rhythm of Friggin in the Riggin by the Sex Pistols.

“Buffy, this is absolutely extraordinary. Do they really have the Mark of JeiZel?”

“Besides the point Giles.”

“Ah yes, well it will certainly get Travers’ attention. You may have another delegation of watchers on your front porch.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle Giles. Now if you will excuse me I will let you get back to your book. Spike and I are going out for Doublemeat medleys.”
__________________________________________
Buffy laughed as Spike looked exceedingly uncomfortable in the florescent lights of the Doublemeat Palace. Buffy leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Just order something.”

“I don’t know what to bloody eat, it’s all processed and what is that smell?”

“We have to order something Spike, or they may kick us out.” Buffy rolled her eyes at her vampire and edged up to talk to the person on the cash. “I’d like a Doublemeat classic combo with an ice tea, and he will have the same but with a Coke.”

“Didn’t the nibblet tell me that you’d gone veggie?”

“Funny thing about the doublemeat burger...”
__________________________________________
Buffy munched down on her fries, basking in the glow from the grease that covered her fingers. Strangely enough she missed doublemeat burgers. They didn’t expand the franchise into England. All this thinking about eating burgers led her thoughts to her teeth, and how she still had her own, but people were sick of hearing about that.

“So you are telling me that you stooped to work in this hell hole?”

“For a little under a year.”

“Please tell me I tried to talk you out of it pet.”

“Oh you did, but I was desperate, I needed money. Does Full Copper Re-pipe not ring any bells?”

“It does, I paid for it remember?”

“And I am eternally grateful. The thing was at the time, I was still all Spike’s evil. So I wouldn’t have touched your money with a ten foot pole. I think I had that ten foot pole up my ass. I got pragmatic as I got older. Money is a necessary evil.”

“Look at you with all the big words, cracked a dictionary did we?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Then something got her attention.

“There she is.”

Spike looked over in the direction that Buffy indicated with her fries. The old woman looked so innocent and unassuming.

“You sure pet?”

“Absolutely. Always orders the same thing, a coffee and an apple pie.”

Spike watched the lady in question, who was walking towards them. The old lady veered to the left and sat a few chairs away from the couple.

“You sure about that memory of yours love?”

Buffy had noticed the pie too. “Ok, it’s not important what the order is, just that I know what’s going to happen.”

Buffy munched a few more fries before licking her fingers and pushing the empty tray away from her.

“I feel like I just ate a tub of butter,” she sighed. “But it tasted better.”

Spike pushed his try closer to her, “Want mine pet?” Spike hadn’t even touched his food.

Buffy’s face lit up and she reached to unwrap the burger.
__________________________________________
Feeling whale-like Buffy was still waiting for the wig lady to finish her pie and coffee. Buffy planned a confrontation in the alley, she had brought a fun little axe for the occasion.

After what seemed like an eternity, the lady left the restaurant and Buffy and Spike followed. Spike took a slight detour to pick up the weapons from the car as Buffy continued to follow at a short distance.

“Are you following me my dear?” asked the old lady.

“Actually yes, I wanted to know where you shop for your wigs. I’m thinking about a wig for Halloween next year,” said Buffy sweetly.

The lady’s smile turned to a scowl. Buffy smiled. Time to kick demon booty.
__________________________________________
When Spike returned with the axe Buffy had the old lady/ grey penis shaped ugly thing backed into a corner. Spike tossed her the axe and watched as Buffy took off the protruding thing from the old lady’s head and proceeded to mash it into a gooey pulp.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Buffy. “The smell is starting to get to me, we can have alley sex some other time.”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Spike returned home to find that Dawn and Willow were watching The Craft on tv.

Spike excused himself, he had a poker game to attend.

“No kittens!” she called out after him.

“Buffy!” said Dawn just realising that her sister was home again, “Willow said she’ll teach me some spells!”

“Dawn I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” asked Dawn.

Willow turned to look at her friend.

“First of all, Dawn, you don’t know enough about your own powers to start messing with witchcraft. The combination of your keyness and witchy willow’s teachings it could all go kablooey.”

“I have powers?” asked Dawn excitedly.

“Secondly I think that Willow has some learning of her own to do before she starts instructing others. No offence will but I know just how powerful you are and frankly it’s truly scary. I don’t want my sister to get caught up in something that could hurt her.”

Willow huffed.

“Buffy? Tell me about my powers?” asked Dawn.

“No Dawn you will just have to figure them out yourself, that’s the way it works. Right Willow?”

“I learned witchcraft on my own,” said Willow dejectedly.

Dawn huffed and flew out of the room.

“What do you mean I scare you?” asked Willow.

“You scare me. You have all this power and you are still learning to fine tune and refine your ability to control it. That’s great and all, and I respect the fact that you are progressing so far ahead and all that, but Wills, what happens if you let it take you over? I know you don’t want to think about it. But it could happen. Magic is like a drug to some people. I just don’t want to see that happen to you. You are my best friend, I want it to stay that way.”

“I’ll always be your friend Buffy. I wouldn’t ever do anything to be not your friend. I don’t want to scare you. I like my power, true, cause I can help with the slaying and the world save-age. “

“I know Wills. I like that you want to help. I just want you to be careful, cause, well you saw what happened to Amy? I don’t my best friend to be turned into a rat or worse, because she wasn’t careful.”

Willow smiled. “I get what you are saying.”

“I do trust you,” said Buffy before Willow could say another word. “I just don’t trust the magic, there are always consequences to magic Wills.”

“That’s what Spike said.”

“He’s right.”

Willow sighed.

“I think Tara’s been trying to tell me that I’ve been using magic too much too.”

“I think if she has concerns you should listen to them. She cares about you too. She won’t want to have a rat for girl friend either.”

Willow giggled, the suddenly had gross face.

“Ewwww,” said the witch.

“What?”

“My mind made these pictures, it was nasty.”

Buffy laughed.

“Buffy? I’d really like to be able to find out how Amy got de ratted though.”

“I guess it’s just one of those things, Wills.”
__________________________________________
Buffy lay in bed thinking about her conversation with Willow. It needed follow up, sure, and she hadn’t really had a girls night with Wills since she got plopped into this body. Something else to put on her list.

Buffy rolled over and got out her list.

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it.
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done

Buffy’s hand hesitated over #8. She didn’t know if it should be truly crossed off or not. Moving her hand to the end of the list Buffy added #17. Girls night out with Willow.
__________________________________________
 

Chapter 6:
Monday

Dawn was at school. Spike was in bed. Willow was at school. Tara was at school. Giles was at the magic Box, as was Anya. Xander was at his construction site. Buffy was bored.

She had successfully found what she thought were all the cameras that the nerds had put up, and she had been kicked out of the Magic Box for her troubles. It wasn’t her fault that she and Anya were getting on famously and that they had lots to talk about. Stupid Giles, making Anya work.

Buffy was frankly amazed that she got on as well with Anya now. They had more in common now, she guessed. Over the years she had caught herself actually saying that she wished Anya was there at a particular moment. She hadn’t really felt Anya’s death until she was going through her first wedding. It was all the wedding planning that made it real that Anya was dead.

Buffy walked over to her stereo and popped in a CD. She cranked the music. Sure Spike was sleeping, but she was bored!

The sounds of Simple Plan filled the house and Buffy started bouncing up and down to the music. The song had only gotten into the first chorus when something heavy hit the stereo. Buffy stopped dancing and turned to look at the irate vampire that had thrown a shoe at the stereo.

Buffy smiled sweetly. “Yes my love?”

Spike growled. “At least when I lived in the crypt people were respectful about the hours I keep.”

“Oh poor Spike.”

“I was sleeping Buffy!”

“I’m bored!”

Spike looked at her incredulously. “You’re bored? That’s why you decided to wake the dead?”

“Undead Spike.”

“Go bug Demon girl or the watcher at the shop.”

“They kicked me out.”

“Funny how that doesn’t surprise pet.”

“Hey!”

“You bleedin’ woke me up in the middle of the morning Slayer!”

“Spoil sport.”

“Don’t you have anything to do at all?”

“The house is clean, laundry is done...”

“Find something to do, I’m going back to bed, and if a certain blonde woman wakes me up again, I’m going back to the crypt.”

“It’s not my fault that you crept in just before dawn from your poker game.”

Spike growled, turned and left the room. He was on to her game. She wanted him to get angry with her. Why he couldn’t fathom.

Buffy watched her vampire tramp back up the stairs with a smile on her face. Yes, I am immature today!

Buffy exhaled loudly, grabbed her purse and headed back out the door.
__________________________________________
Buffy entered the Magic Box, bade greeting to Anya at the counter, dropped her purse on the table and headed up the ladder to the second level of occult books.

Ten minutes later Buffy was sitting with a large stack of books before her and was writing diligently on 3”x5” cue cards.

To say that Giles was shocked when he came into the main room of the shop to see his slayer with books around her was a large understatement.

“Dear Lord, Buffy, is something wrong, is there a demon? An apocalypse looming?”

“Nope,” she said not even looking up from her writing.

“I don’t understand.”

Buffy smiled.

“You’d be proud of me Giles, really, I’m getting the jump on my research.”

“Research? On the First Evil?”

“Oh no, this is my own research. I found out fifty years or so ago that I know an awful lot about Vamps that was never written down. I just thought I’d rewrite my books.”

“You’ve written books?” asked Giles.

“Those things that we have lots of that are dusty and smelly? Research books?” asked Anya.

“I’m all Ph. D-y and everything. I’m Doctor Buffy!” Buffy smiled at her notes.

“So what do you write about?” asked Anya.

“Mainly family structure and mating habits.”

Giles dropped his book. Buffy giggled.

“Oh there’s lots you don’t know about me. And I had to do something, I have a very irate vampire at home. I woke him up. He’s completely grumpy Spikey.”
__________________________________________
Buffy returned home around 3pm to find Spike up and watching Passions... again. Buffy flopped down on the couch beside him and gave him a huge hug.

“Are you still mad at me?” she asked with puppy dog eyes.

“Na, not really. Sometimes I wonder though if you are really 122.”

“Are you saying I’m not acting my age? What you want me to go and get myself a walker and start calling you sonny?”

“God no, it’s just, and don’t take this the wrong way pet, but you act like Dawn sometimes.”

Buffy gasped horrified.

“You take that back!”

Spike laughed, only to pushed down off the couch and on to the floor.

“I had to take a talking to from Giles about how he was impressed that my life is or was fulfilling and academic, now you are telling me that I’m like a 15 year old?”

“Who’s a fifteen year old?” asked Dawn coming into the living room.

“Me apparently, according to the boyfriend here.”

“Boyfriend? Now you do sound like a teenager,” snickered Spike.

“Ha, bloody, ha,” said Buffy hands on her hips.

Dawn laughed. “You said Bloody!”

“So?”

“Spike says Bloody, it’s his word!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “It’s your turn to make supper, Dawn.”

“Nope, I traded off with Spike. He’s making dinner, I’m going to Janice’s to study.”

“Excuse me?”

“Spike can cook? Right Spike?” asked Dawn.

“Not about Spike cooking, when were you going to tell me you were going to Janice’s?”

“I just did, Buffy.”

“I think I need just a little more notice than that Dawn!”

“Geez, you aren’t my mother!”

“No, I’m your legal guardian, Dawn and I need to know where you are.”

“Whatever Buffy. Can I go to Janice’s?”

Buffy exhaled. “Fine go, but be back before 10pm.”

Dawn smiled. “Thanks Buffy!” Dawn bounded out of the room and up the stairs.

Buffy groaned.

“Teenagers never get easier, you would think that after 3 of them I would know the tricks?”

“Three kids pet?” he asked curiously, with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Oh God, not my kids Spike. I don’t have kids of my own, just Dawn, and her daughter and her grand daughter.”

“Never had kids of your own then?”

“No Spike.” Buffy kicked up her legs on to the couch and stretched out. “Did you pay that Shark demon thing the kittens you owed him?”

“Are you going to nag me about this until I do?”

“Spike if you don’t do it...you know what I don’t care...it’s your unlife and I thought the tweed was comical.”

“Beg pardon?”

“Nothing...” said Buffy sweetly.
__________________________________________
Buffy gloried in the delight of patrolling. Taking enjoyment of the simple pleasures of life was one of those statements that she would have easily applied to her feelings at that moment, except for the fact that she was hacking away a demon with tentacles. A purple demon with tentacles. She rather liked the colour actually, she used to have a top that colour.

Buffy cringed as a squirt of goo hit her chest. The insides of this demon were not the pretty purple colour.

“Ewwww” she whined.

Buffy gave one last kick to the now dead purple demon thingy and looked up to find her vampire. Spike was lounging on a tombstone, smoking a cigarette.

“You could have helped you know,” she complained.

“And get goo all over my coat?”

Buffy rolled her eyes then attempted to wipe off the goo on to the ground, but failed, just spreading the goo further.

“I need a shower.” Buffy turned to head back home.

Spike fell into step with her.

“Spike, are you happy?” she asked looking at her feet.

“What makes you ask that Pet?”

“I want you to be happy, so I want to know. Cause if you aren’t, I need to know.”

“Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

“See you aren’t actually answering the question.”

“Aside from the overly exuberant slayers in the morning, I’m a relatively content Vampire. I’ve got my girl...” Spike reached over and squeezed her hand, “I’ve got blood in the fridge, it’s pig’s blood, but you can’t have everything, and I’ve got a nice place to crash, with a slayer in my bed.”

Buffy leaned in closer to him and moaned. “Naked Slayer?”

“The best kind,” said Spike planting a kiss on her nose. “The kind that has her own teeth still.”

Buffy giggled.

“Hey I haven’t actually mentioned my teeth for a while.”

Spike smiled and kissed her hand.

“I want to take you out.”

“Like on a date?”

“If your fancy turns to calling it that then yes,”

“Then I accept,” she said with a huge smile on her face.
__________________________________________
Buffy arrived home in the best of moods. She was happy Buffy. She met Xander in the dining room and gave her friend a huge hug.

Xander was startled. “What’s up Buff?” asked Xander perplexed.

Buffy then noticed Tara sitting at the dining room table, and went to hug her too.

“Spike’s taking me out for a date!” she gushed.

The two Scoobies looked at each other oddly.

“Hey, there will be no disapproving looks! I love Spike, and he’s taking me out, it will be fun! fun! fun!”

“Buffy are you sure that you want to be involved with Spike?” asked Xander.

“Huh? Is this an intervention? I’ve had a couple of those, when we were thirty Dawn intervened and told me I could no longer wear my favourite top, I was too old to be wearing something that cool.”

“I just think that maybe this isn’t the best relationship for you to be in...” said Xander. “He doesn’t have a soul.”

“Oh pish, soul shmoul. He doesn’t need a soul, it just made him a crazy... TMI right there. Look I know you think that you are looking out for me, but I can take care of myself. Have been for a good long time. Question though, why did it take you so long to speak up about this?”

“Well I would have said something, but every time I got the chance, Anya would hit me.”

“Maybe she’s trying to tell you something. Look Xander, Spike makes me happy. You don’t know all the things that I do. I know he’s a good man.”

“He’s a vampire Buffy! You are the Vampire Slayer!”

“Yes, Xander thanks for clarifying that.”

“Buffy...”

“No, Xander you can’t talk me out of this. I’ve been miserable far too long to give him up now, you can’t make me do it. I love him, I’ve loved him for a hundred years, even though he’s been dust. Me being with him now, that isn’t the chance you pass up. How would you feel if Anya died and you were left to live on knowing that you loved her and that you never got the chance to tell her?”

Buffy looked at Xander harshly. She knew the answer to that question. She had seen Xander struggle just like she had after Spike had closed the hellmouth. Anya had died in the battle and Xander hadn’t even been there to say good bye like she had.

“If you knew the future and that the person you loved was going to die, wouldn’t you want to spend as much time with them as possible?”

Xander was looking sheepish now. Tara, who had been sitting calmly at the table had a huge smile on her face.

“Wow, that was a downer,” said Buffy suddenly, “Spike!” Buffy called.

“You yelled pet?” Spike asked coming from upstairs.

“I’m all serious now, tell me about our date?” she asked sweetly.

Spike shook his head and chuckled.

“I’m going out on a date with Spike!” Buffy giggled.
__________________________________________
 

Next