Chapter 7:

Tabula Rasa - Tuesday

Buffy smiled and hugged her vampire pillow closer to her. She liked waking up beside her vampire, her gambling vampire. Buffy frowned. Today. Today in her memory Willow would do that Spell.

Buffy had been watching Willow pretty carefully since their almost talk and she hadn’t seen anything to make her worry, but that didn’t mean the worry didn’t exist. Buffy had to admit that she had been slightly caught up in the ‘I’m 20 again thing’ and not really paying a lot of attention to Willow. There was just so much she wanted to get over with; making Giles feel needed so he would stay, making Dawn feel loved, spend time with Spike. She had lots to do but it seemed unfair that Willow’s problems had taken a back seat.

Buffy groaned and stretched. Maybe she could stay in bed forever and Spike could stay with her. She was sure she could find ways to occupy her time.

Buffy planted a kiss on Spike’s chest.

A hundred and two years ago she had been avoiding him for a week. Now she had spent a week in his arms, with him in her bed. This time it would go better, she was determined.

“Must get up,” she said thinking that if she vocalised what she needed to do, her body would comply.
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Twenty minutes later Buffy was dressed and down stairs eating cereal straight out of the box.

“Classy,” noted Dawn as she stomped into the room.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

“Willow and Tara had a fight last night,” said Dawn. “Tara thinks Willow has been using too much magic.”

“Crap,” said Buffy.

“You aren’t going to yell at me for eavesdropping?”

“No, you are like my own personal National Enquirer.”

Dawn smiled.

“This is a problem.” Buffy thought for a moment then took out a pen and paper from the junk drawer. She scribbled something and handed it to Dawn. “Carry this with you all day.”

Dawn looked at what was written and frowned.

“Why?”

“Cause it will make our lives easier?”

“Cryptic much?”

“I try.”
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Buffy bounded up the stairs. Tara was already dressed and ready to do, Willow was just getting out of the shower. Buffy could tell that Tara was fuming, not that she blamed her. Buffy smiled sweetly at Tara and waited for Willow to emerge from the bathroom.

“Wills”

Willow jumped. She hadn’t been expecting Buffy just then and now.

“Wills we have to talk.”

“I’m kinda behind, everyone’s already ready.”

“Look I just want to tell you that I know you and Tara are fighting right now, but I know you two will work everything out.”

“Everything is fine Buffy, we have issues but we’re fine.”

“I’d like it to stay that way. Just please don’t do anything that you’ll regret later.”

“Spells. You are going to talk to me about spells again aren’t you?”

“Kinda.”

“I really don’t want to hear it Buffy. I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“I don’t want you to end up hurting yourself and others, Wills.”

“I really need to get dressed Buffy.”

Buffy sighed and left the room. Another failed talk. Buffy trudged down the stairs. If anything, Buffy had given her friend more reason to do that spell.
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Buffy was sitting on the ladder to the second level of books listening to Giles babble about the First Evil. She knew it all already, that wasn’t why she was here. She was here because any second now Spike was going to come in wearing tweed and a hunter’s cap.

Buffy was looking to intently at the door that she missed the arrival of Spike, who had come through the basement.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” he asked.

“Hey! No Tweed!” she said surprised. “You paid Sharky!”

“I thought I’d better considering all the cryptic yammering you’ve been spouting lately.”

Buffy smiled.

“Aw, now I don’t get to see the tweed,” she pouted, sticking her lip out.

“Look at that lip...”

Giles cleared his throat before Spike could kiss her.

“Sorry Giles, didn’t mean to get all mushy...Please continue.” Buffy hopped down off the ladder and leaned in against Spike.

Then she started to feel woozy.
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When she awoke she had the curious sensation that she didn’t belong here. She rubbed her head and looked around. She was lying on top of a very sexy blonde man. She got up and noticed that she was in a store, a wacky new age magic type store and there were people around her.

She stretched, as the people around her started to greet each other. She didn’t know who any of them were, but she really liked the hottie she had woken up on. As she stretched she felt something scratchy in her bra. Without any modesty she reached into her bra and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Who, who are you people?” asked a brunette teen sitting on the floor and looking scared.

She knelt down beside the girl and placed a hand on her knee.

“Don't worry,” she said.

“Please don't hurt me!”

“Oh, it's okay. I don't know anyone here either.”

“Yeah? Who are you?”

“I, uh....” Her attention returned to the piece of paper in her hands. Slowly she began to unfold it.

“Okay, who are you freaks?” yelled one of the men, not her hottie.

She began to read.

Your name is Buffy Anne Summers, you are 20 years old. You live at 1630 Revello drive. Right now you are in The Magic Box, a store that sells Magic paraphernalia. The Brunette teen is your sister Dawn Summers. The bleach blonde man is Spike. He’s your boyfriend and you love him and you live together. His real name is William Darlington, only use it if you have to...he doesn’t like it much. You are super strong so don’t get confused when you can pummel vampires. VAMPIRES ARE REAL. Spike is a vampire, but he’s a good vampire and you love him. The blonde girl with the sweet face is Tara, girlfriend of Willow, the red head. The Brunette male is Xander, fiancé of Anya, the other girl in the shop (she should be behind the counter) and the older man is Rupert Giles (you call him Giles) he owns the store. You lost your memory because of a spell that Willow cast. The Spell will centre on a stone or talisman, the focal point on which the spell is centred. FIND the talsiman and destroy it and your memories will go back to normal.

Buffy’s eyes went wide as she looked at all the people in the room.

“Okay, why was I on the ground? And why are you all staring at me? Is this some kind of psych test? Am I getting paid for this?” yelled Xander.

“It's not just you. Does anyone remember anything?”

Buffy shook her head along with everyone else.

“Nope,” said Spike, Buffy’s hottie.

“Well, maybe we all got ... terribly drunk and this is some sort of, uh, blackout.” offered Giles, smiling.

“I don't think I drink.” said Dawn.

“I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps. I don't see Allen Funt.” added Anya.

“Who?” asked Giles.

“Okay. I'm not panicking. I'm not. I'm not.” said Xander panicking. “Stop looking at me like I'm panicking!”

“Hey, hey, take it easy, Xander. Okay, no one's hurt, right? And, and none of us look all hatchety-murdery, so ... we're probably safe. Here....“ Buffy looked down at her piece of paper, “At the Magic Box.”

“Is that my name? Xander? How do you know my name?”

Buffy held up the piece of paper. “It looks like I knew this was going to happen.” Buffy handed over the paper to Giles.

“Hey!” said Dawn, “I have a paper too!”

Dawn held up a similarly folded paper and started to read.

You are Dawn Eleanor Summers, you are 15 and live at 1630 Revello drive with your sister Buffy, her live in boyfriend, Spike, Willow, best friend of Buffy and Tara, girlfriend of Willow.

“How come I didn’t get as much detail as you?” whined Dawn.

“I think the important thing is to get our memories back,” said Giles.

“Willow?” Buffy asked the red head.

“Oooh that’s me! It says so on my ID.” Willow proudly displayed her newly found ID.

“Do you have a stone or a medal or something in your pockets?” asked Buffy.

Willow searched.

“Ooh I have this black crystal thing.”

Willow handed it over to Buffy.

“What you doing pet?” asked Spike.

“Fixing us, Spike.”

“Spike? Is that my name? Bloody brilliant that...And I seem to be British...Bugger.”

“Well according to the note, your real name is William Darlington.”

Buffy watched his cocky smile drop from his face.

“But I love you anyway.”

Buffy planted a kiss on his cheek, the dropped the crystal on the ground, raised her foot and smashed it.
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Everyone stared at Willow. For a moment it looked like she was going to cry. Buffy knew that by the end of the night, Willow would be crying. Tara was going to move out. Maybe not today but she knew that Willow was going to be given an ultimatum.

“I just didn’t want anyone to be mad at me anymore. For using magic,” explained Willow.

“So you went right ahead and did a spell!” said Tara.

“I’m a witch it’s what I do!”

“Hey, that’s unfair. Just because you have power doesn’t mean you have to use it!” said Dawn. “Spike is all grr and he doesn’t kill people.”

“Cause he has the chip,” explained Willow.

“Are you saying that we need a chip for you?” asked Anya.

Everyone turned to look at the ex demon.

“What?”

Xander grabbed Anya’s hand. “You don’t have to express every thought you have honey.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Now Xander was patronizing Anya.

“I’m going on patrol, and then I’m going home,” said Buffy.

“Just a minute Buffy,” said Giles walking towards her. “You knew that Willow was going to do the spell and you didn’t do anything about it.”

“Excuse me? I wrote notes. I didn’t know she was going to do it, I had a hunch.”

“You didn’t stop her.”

“No Giles, not this time...” Buffy turned to leave the shop, only to see someone else enter.

A very dashing young man in a tailored suit and briefcase walked into the room.

“Can I help you?” asked Giles.

Buffy gulped, she had recognised the man. Crap! she thought. She felt the blood drain out of her face.

“Everything ok pet?” asked Spike, coming up behind her.

“Ya, I’m just gonna go.” Buffy turned and made to go out through the back door.

“I’m here to speak with Miss Summers, actually,” said the man.

Buffy smacked her head with her hand and turned around.

“So the council sent you, to deal with my blackmail then?” asked Buffy sweetly.

“Do you know this wanker Slayer?” asked Spike.

“I do...urg... bad phrase. Ok Nate, hit me up with it, what did Mr I’m so mighty in my Tweed Travers have to say.”

“I’m afraid that you have me at a disadvantage Miss Summers,” said Nate moving closer towards her. “I am here to negotiate your salary.”

“Excuse me?” spat Giles.

“Perhaps we can discuss this in the other room,” said Buffy sweetly.

Nate nodded and walked in the direction of the training room, like he knew where to go.

Buffy started to follow, but was held back by Spike.

“Just how do you know him?” asked the Vampire as soon as the watcher was out of the room.

“He’s my first husband.”
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Chapter 8:

Doctor Buffy

“He’s your what pet?“

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“I married him, ok, it lasted for 6 months,” said Buffy avoiding.

“You married that wanker?”

“Yes I did, I’m a sucker for an accent. He’s a very nice man.”

“Then why didn’t you stay married to him?” asked Xander.

“He wasn’t Spike.”
__________________________________________
Nate was charming, Nate was gracious and all of those things that Buffy had loved about him. He had made her happy for a year, three months dating, 3 months engaged and 6 months married, and for that she was grateful. Now he was here and was making Spike jealous.

“The terms of your salary are thus, you will continue your duties as Chosen One, following the orders of the Watcher assigned to you. You will also sign a confidentiality agreement for the duration of your life, in regards to any information you learn about the workings of the Council. This document will also clarify the right to information between yourself and the council.”

“I can agree to those terms. What else Nate?”

“The council would wish for you to send your own status reports along with those of your watcher, monthly.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know about that, Buffy and books, unmixy things,” she lied.

Nate laughed, “Perhaps, but it is felt that the council have been out of touch with the slayers...”

“That much is true, so what do I get with my fab salary? Dental? Cause I‘m gonna need dental, dentures aren‘t cheap.”

Nate laughed. Buffy remembered liking his laugh. It was really too bad that he hadn’t met her yet. They would have so much to talk about, like that time two weeks after their honeymoon that Dawn arrived unannounced and had walked in on naked breakfast, at 4 pm.

Ahh... the memories. Buffy shook her head bringing herself back to reality. She loved Spike. Lots and lots. There was no room for Nate, and a relationship that she knew wouldn’t work.
__________________________________________
Spike was livid. By the time she and Nate had finished their conference, Spike had smoked at least a pack of cigarettes and had begun to wear a hole in the floor.

“So do I need to dress up for this date?” asked Buffy.

“Sure you don’t want to cancel and spend it with your hubby?”

“Geez Spike, I’m not interested in him. What part of divorced don’t you understand?”

There was a long pause.

“So do I need to dress up for this date?” asked Buffy again.

“It’s up to you pet,”

“Can you tell me where we are going?”

“It’ll be a surprise.”
__________________________________________
Spike drove them out to the beach. The same beach that she had taken him to via video camera not too long ago. Out on the sand was a blanket and candles and...Food! This vampire certainly knew the way to this girl’s heart.

Buffy smiled at her vampire. He could be so sweet.

Spike led her from the car and to the blanket. He had strawberries and chocolate sauce waiting. Buffy sat with light from the assorted candles flickering in the gentle breeze. Yes it was November, and she was a little chilled, but he had put so much effort she didn’t want to ruin it by saying it was too cold to be on the beach.

“This is so beautiful. Spike? When did you have time to set this up?”

“Had Clem do it, he owes me a tabby or two.”

Buffy laughed. The Master Vampire had contracted out.

“I will never understand what’s up with demons and kittens.”

“You aren’t meant you understand pet, it’s a demon thing,” said Spike pouring her a glass of sparkling grapefruit juice, which she liked and was surprised that he knew that about her.

“What if I want to understand?”

“Understand what?”

“You, all about you. William, Spike, the whole mixed up and tragic life that is you.”

“I thought you obsessed about me for ages and found out everything you could about me.”

“Maybe I did, but that still doesn’t mean that I understand you.”

__________________________________________

Buffy was sitting at the table in the magic box, diligently writing on her cards. She had woken up relaxed and pleased with her self. She had thoroughly enjoyed her date with Spike. Willow and Tara hadn’t any classes this morning, but she so desperately wanted to get out of the house, what with the silent treatment the two witches were giving each other. The house of no talking. It was scary.

“Buffy, your work, it sounds utterly fascinating. I would be honoured if perhaps when you had time, we could discuss your research,” said Giles, who had just finished proof reading her introduction.

“Absolutely Giles, how’s now? I have time.”

At that point Spike walked in with a blanket on his head.

“Ooh goody, an audience!” said Buffy.

“Audience for what?” asked the vampire.

“Giles wants a brief overview of the Doctoral thesis of Dr Buffy Anne Summers.”

Spike smiled and leaned back on the counter. “Should be interesting.”

“Well I think it is anyway. Oooh I feel excited. I haven’t taught since, well it’s got to be like 40 years or something. I feel like I need a pointer, is there something I can point with?” Buffy looked around the room.

“Will a broom do love?”

Buffy scrunched up her nose. “Too big...ooh I know!” Buffy raced into the training room and got a long thin fencing foil out of the weapons trunk. Buffy rushed back into the main room.

Buffy paused for a moment and then looked at her two audience members. “Of course I have nothing to point at...” she mumbled.

“Can Vampires feel? Of course you say, how many of us have seen a vampire clutch his chest in pain as you stake him. But that isn’t the kind of feeling I’m talking about. Can Vampires love? Can they express the same feelings towards family and loved ones. I postulate that they can, and I’ve seen the proof.”

Buffy winked at Spike.

“Regardless of the fact that most vampires are soulless, the vampire who belongs to a cohesive family unit, such as the Aurelius line, have bonded with the other members of their families, experiencing the same feelings that human families have. Jealousy, love, loyalty, these are all emotions that are experienced by vampires.”

Buffy paused again. “You can tell I’ve done this before can’t you?”

She continued.

“Familial bond is transmitted through blood. As a very wise vampire once said to me, ‘'Cause it's always got to be blood.’ The bond is begun with the first bite. There are three distinct types of vampire bite. To Feed or kill, which scars the victim, should the victim live. To Mark, with the intent on turning the victim, and To Claim. To Mark or To Claim a person is a very important rite, sacred in the eyes of other vampires. On a physical level a bite to Mark and a bite to Claim appear very similar. For example I was bitten by Dracula, To Mark, with the intent of turning. This was placed over my To Feed bite given by Angel and therefore the older scar has completely disappeared. It is impossible to tell the difference between Claim and the Mark. Spike’s scar, a Claim scar is indistinguishable from my Mark scar.”

Spike raised his hand.

“Uh, pet, I’m sorry about interrupting your lovely yammering, but I’m not Claimed. This is a Mark scar.”

Buffy frowned.

“You weren’t Claimed by Drusilla?”

“Nope, always belonged to her daddy she did.”

“Then why didn’t you... I mean you had opportunity...” Buffy trailed off

“What’s that pet?”

“Why didn’t you Claim me?” she asked sadly.

“We’ve been together for a week Pet.”

“No I mean before, the first time...arg! You don’t remember, it hasn’t happened for you and it won’t happen now... Are you thinking about Claiming me?”

“Don’t really think that this is something we should be discussing in front of the watcher pet.”

Buffy smiled. “You are right.”

She continued, “The mechanics of the Claim and Mark bite are the same.” Buffy walked over to Spike and stood him up. “Game face please,” she asked.

Spike complied.

“The bite to Mark or to Claim is always done on the neck, any bite anywhere else on the body is considered a To Feed bite. To Mark the vampire does not need permission, just like the To Feed bite, the bite is placed on the neck. No special words need be said, however if the victim is to be made Childer, the vampire will then say the Sire/Childe oath according to the traditions of their line. Go ahead Spike.”

“Huh?”

“What’ s the Aurelius Sire/Childe oath?” she asked with a smile on her face.

“You already know it, can tell by the twinkle in your eye, so why do I have to say it?”

“Because you are my special guest, my audio visual. Please.”

Spike rolled his eyes.

“You will be my childe,” he said matter of factly, “and I will be your sire, teach you the ways of our line and add glory to the name Aurelius.”

“Just how did you learn of this Sire/Childe oath Buffy?” asked Giles.

“I did some field research for a few years, also I ran in to Drusilla, you’ll be happy to know that she is still mad as a hatter.”

“How did you get her to tell you?” asked Giles.

“Oh, there was a spell involved, made her think I was Darla giving her a quiz. It was good times. To continue, the oath is only needed if the intended victim is not to be turned right away. Now we get to the good stuff. The To Claim bite. Usually done during sex, bonds the two beings performing the ritual forever in a kind of vampire marriage, if the Claim is reciprocated. The To Claim bite is always accompanied by the ritual words, Mine, Yours and Forever. I could demonstrate?” said Buffy hopefully.

“Please,” said Giles fascinated.

“Yay!” Buffy put down her pointer and walked towards Spike.

“What are you going to do Slayer?” Spike asked with trepidation.

Buffy smiled. She placed her hands on either side of his head and kissed him chastely on the lips.

“I love you,” she said sweetly and then tilted his head.

Before either of the men knew what had happened, Buffy bit down on Spike’s neck.

“Mine,” she stated, and then started licking the wound she had made.

“Yours” came Spike’s breathless response.

Buffy felt Spike’s fingers grip her tighter, then she felt his fangs pierce her skin. Buffy’s eyes rolled back into her head from the glorious feeling of it all. She wanted this. She had wanted this for such a long time. She loved him and in that instant, with his fangs in her throat, she knew that he loved her too.

Buffy noticed that Giles had finally realised what was happening and got up out of his chair.

“Don’t you dare stake him, Giles,” Buffy threatened.

“Mine” roared Spike.

“Yours” agreed Buffy.

Buffy felt Spike lick the wounds on her neck. Buffy felt a surge of something pass through her body.

“Forever” they both uttered.

After a few moments they broke away from each other.

“Geez, that lecture got outta hand, didn’t it?” said Buffy as she sat down out of breath. “Congratulate me Giles, I just got married!”

“I don’t understand what just happened here,” said Giles a little stunned.

“What’s not to understand? I claimed Spike, Spike claimed me, I love him, He loves me, we’re a happy family,” Buffy sang. “Oh god, kill me now, I’m singing Barney songs”
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Chapter 9:

Not Happy Buffy

Buffy was on a high. Sure it had happened in an unconventional way, and in front of Giles, it was just too strange that her watcher had witnessed her Claiming. She was claimed and it made her happy. Sure Spike was husband # 7 on some level but honestly all the other guys, they were merely substitutions for the real thing. Spike was the real thing.

Spike wasn’t happy though. He was acting like she had tricked him, which to be fair she had. He had grabbed her hand and led her from the Magic box. Safely from the gaze of her watcher, and standing in the middle of Restfield Cemetery, Spike had started to pace. Oh he was mad.

“What the hell was that Buffy!”

Oooh, use of her given name... not of the good.

“I got carried away?”

“You got carried away with something you knew and even said was sacred among vampires?”

Buffy looked down at her hands. She felt bad, it was supposed to be something special and she had ruined it.

“I’m sorry. I just...Nate was here and you were all jealous, and I got carried away. I just wanted it.”

Spike exhaled. “In front of the bloody watcher!”

“You didn’t have to claim me back you know. It wouldn’t have meant anything if you hadn’t. I’m just human...”

Spike reached over and took her hands.

“It bloody well does mean something Buffy. You claimed me! I love you, how could I not claim you back?”

Buffy smiled.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t it private and intimate like you expected. I know this must be a big deal for you...”

“You’re bloody right it’s a big deal.”

His eyes were pouring into her soul, she could feel just how much he loved her in that moment. Buffy leaned in and kissed him, her tongue begging for entrance to his mouth.

“I love you, you know,” she whispered.

“I know,” he sighed, “and that will never change Buffy. What’s got me so bloody mad is that you don’t want to take my feelings and wishes into consideration. You just go on your merry way making decisions for me. You think you know what I want, because your Spike did things... I’m not him.”

“You are him! You, him, I love you Spike. I want us to be together. I’m sorry I did it that way. It was a bad choice, I admit it!”

“Admitting it isn’t the same as doing something about it.”

“What do you want me to do? You can’t take back a Claim Spike, you know that!” Buffy suddenly got really quiet. “Do you want to take it back?”

“No, I don’t want to take it back. I just didn’t want it to happen like it did.”

Spike walked away from her.

“Where are you going?” she asked with a sad lilt to her voice.

“Away, I have to be away.”

“When will you be back?” Tears were forming now at the corner of her eyes.

“Don’t know Slayer.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know.”

Buffy was left in the cemetery by herself, wondering when she would see her mate again.

For the first time in a week Buffy went to bed completely miserable.
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Buffy woke up alone and miserable. She had no vampire pillow, no Spike arms around her. Sad and dejected Buffy forced herself up out of her bed and into the shower.

Twenty minutes later Buffy was down stairs, eating cereal out of the box... again.

“Are you going to do this every morning?” asked Dawn.

Buffy just shrugged.

“ Nate wants you to call him,” said Dawn getting out a bowl and some milk.

“Ok,” Buffy sighed.

“What happened to happy Buffy?”

“She got into a fight with Spike, now she’s sad and sulking Buffy.”

“You guys had a fight? Geez, first Willow and Tara and now you and Spike?”

Buffy sniffled.

“Where is Spike anyway?”

“Don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“He’s probably getting pissed as we speak.”

“At 8 am?”

“Ok, he’s probably already pissed and is passed out in an alley.”

“Actually he’s in the basement,” said Tara, coming up with a load of laundry. “I had a clean shirt emergency.”

Buffy left her cereal on the counter and jumped off her stool.

“Buffy, leave him alone,” said Tara softly. “He needs to work this out for himself.”

“But...” Buffy tried to get past the witch.

“No,” said Tara stopping her. “There is nothing you could say that would make this better.”

“What did you do?” asked Dawn.

Buffy looked between her sister and her friend. The weak hold she had on her tears was wavering.

“I..I didn’t think... I was wrong...”

“What did you do?” asked Dawn more seriously.

Buffy couldn’t help it, the tears were flowing now. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and pretend everything was ok. But it wasn’t. She had come back in time, tried to set things right, and it had all blown up in her face. Willow was still on the path to becoming veiny and black haired and in one action she had made Spike feel worthless. She had screwed up. Buffy just stood in the middle of the kitchen and cried, loudly.

Willow came racing down the stairs.

“Buffy?”

Buffy let herself be caught up in Willow’s arms.

Then the front door opened.

“Where is she?” asked Anya’s voice.

Anya strode into the kitchen with determination. Oblivious to the fact that Buffy was sobbing in Willow’s arms, Anya said what she came to say.

“You went and Claimed Spike, when you knew that you were supposed to be my MAID of honour Buffy! Now I’m going to have to change the program to MATRON of honour! Do you know how inconsiderate that is?”

Buffy laughed while she sobbed, resulting in a sort of ‘hic’ noise.

“I wouldn’t be worried Anya, it seems that he wants a divorce, he won‘t talk to me,” sniffled Buffy.

“You can’t get unclaimed Buffy! You know that as well as I do!”

“I don’t want to end it Anya!” Buffy yelled. “I love him!”

Willow let go of Buffy and rubbed her ear.

“What the hell is going on? What’s a claim?” asked Dawn.

“Vampire marriage. Your sister got married last night,” said Anya annoyed.

“What!” yelled Dawn. “You got married and I wasn’t there to see it?”

“Giles saw it, and now Spike’s mad,” added Anya. “It was supposed to be private.”

“That’s why Spike’s mad? Cause you got married? I don’t get it,” said Dawn.

“Please stop saying that word. I’m not married, really. If you get married you can get a divorce. I’m claimed,“ stated Buffy. “He’s mad cause I tricked him into it.”

“Huh?”

The phone rang, which Tara picked up.

“Buffy? It’s for you, it’s Nathaniel Bradford?”

Buffy shook her head. “Nope, can’t talk to him right now. Tell him I’m sick, or in the shower or something.” Buffy took off up the stairs.

Buffy launched herself on to her bed, their bed and grabbed Mr Gordo.

“Buffy?”

Buffy looked up and saw Willow in the doorway. Buffy wiped her eyes and sat up, making room on the bed for Willow to sit.

“I didn’t even ask him Willow. He told me I was taking advantage of him, and he’s right. I didn’t consider his feelings or wishes. I just charged ahead like I usually do. We’ve only been together a week here Willow. I didn’t think of that! All I was thinking about was how we had an abusive relationship and how I broke his heart and how I wanted to make everything ok. I screwed up my second chance Willow.”

Willow hugged her friend again. “Oh Buffy it’s not that bad. Spike loves you. I can see it in the way he talks about you, how he looks at you. You are his soul Buffy. Sure you are impulsive and sometimes you act without thinking...but we all do that from time to time, I’m sure he has. And after he has a good long think, you’ll make up and everything will be Happy Buffy land again.”

“I’m not so sure about that Willow,” sniffled Buffy.

“Well I’m surely sure. Hundred percent.” Willow smiled, “How about I get you some coffee?”

Buffy nodded.

“Thanks Wills.”

Buffy rose from the bed and shuffled to her mirror, to assess the puffiness of her eyes.

“You know, it’s impossible for a bloke to get any kind of shut eye in this house with you bints screaming.”

Buffy’s eyes went wide and she stared into the mirror for a few seconds before turning to face the speaker. Spike was standing in the doorway, his hair mussed, and his shirt untucked.

“Also the cot in the basement, right uncomfortable.”

Buffy tried to say something, but each time she opened her mouth nothing would come out. Taking the initiative, Spike crossed to the mirror, took Buffy’s hand and led her back to her bed. Spike sat down on the edge, and pulled her into his lap.

“Spike...” she started.

“No,” he said putting a finger to her lips, silencing her. “I need to say some things and you need to listen.”

Buffy nodded.

“I’ve loved you for a good long time long before Soldier Boy left the picture, and I haven’t always gone about declaring that in the most appropriate ways. I look at the world through different eyes than you, the eyes of a vampire that was fledged by the most traditionalist of lines, and the eyes of a poncy Victorian gentleman. What you did, it upset both William and Spike, William ’cause it’s him that’s supposed to ask the girl, and Spike ’cause you did it as a bloody demonstration for the good of your watcher. I’ve dreamed of being able to call you mine, and you acted like it was a joke.”

“No, not a joke!” she whimpered. “Never a joke.”

“ It wasn’t special, it was common. It was the vampire equivalent of getting married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose.

“Last night I had to get away from you to think, ‘cause when I’m with you, I can’t think straight. Red was right, you are my soul, but you are so much more than that. You are the reason. The reason for everything. I don’t want to find out what the world is like without you in it...again.”

Buffy smiled. “And you won’t ever find out, if I can help it.”
__________________________________________
Buffy stepped out of the shower, for the second time that day to hear the phone ring. Spike was sleeping, it was vamp bedtime after all, and after all the making up that they had just finished...he deserved to sleep. Buffy clasped her towel tighter and went in search of the phone.

“Hello?” she asked, padding through the living room with the portable phone, clad in her towel and slippers.

“Ah, Miss Summers...I’m glad I caught you. I am calling to arrange a time for you to sign your contract, I’ve negotiated the terms you wanted changed and I think you will be pleased with the concessions that the Council has made.”

“Concessions? Nate, I don’t think that’s a word I like very much...”

“Will you be able to review the newly drafted contract, this evening, say over dinner?”

Warning bells started going off in Buffy’s head.

“I don’t think dinner would be appropriate Nate, could we meet at the Magic box, say at 8pm?”

“Very well, Miss Summers.”

Buffy could hear the disappointment in his voice. She knew that sound well. It was so similar to his resigned ‘If that is what would make you happy Buffy,’ he said when she asked him for a divorce.

“Great!” she said trying to be up beat.

Buffy hung up the phone and returned to her sleeping vampire. Buffy crawled back under the covers and snuggled closer. She had almost lost him, because she was foolish and inconsiderate and far too eager to show off in front of Giles. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. Buffy nuzzled his neck and licked her mark on his neck, instantly getting a reaction. Round two was about to begin.
__________________________________________
Buffy pulled Spike into the Magic Box, ten minutes after eight. Spike hadn’t wanted to come. The idea of being cooped up in the store while Buffy talked with her ex was excruciatingly painful for him, but Buffy had insisted. She was safer from Nate if Spike was there. It wasn’t that she was afraid for herself. She loved Spike, but she didn’t want him getting upset or misunderstanding anything right now...they had just made up, and she wanted to keep them happy.

Giles and Nate were discussing something terribly important at the counter. Very Watcher like.

“Ahh, Miss Summers...” began Nate.

Buffy hated that. One of the things she had put on her list of things that annoyed her about her first husband, he always said ‘ahhh,’ like a doctor was sticking a tongue depressor down his throat.

“I’m here, Spike’s here, let’s get down to business.” Buffy sat down at the table with a thump.

“I’ve read the new contract Buffy and there are things in there that I just cannot possibly agree to,” said Giles, who took off his glasses and started wiping them.

“You must forgive me Mr Giles, but it is Miss Summers who will be signing the contract, not yourself,” said Nate.

“Well? Can I see it?” asked Buffy.

She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Spike already looked like he wanted to rip Nate’s head off.

“Ahh yes, here it is.” Nate handed her a paper.

Buffy perused the contract silently, until she reached a clause that had not been in the previous draft.

“No, absolutely not!” she said livid.

“I most certainly agree,” said Giles.

“Hold on? You agree?” Buffy was flabbergasted. “We are talking about the same thing, right, that little bit in the middle of the page.”

“What are you going on about woman?” asked Spike.

“Yes Buffy I agree,” said Giles sitting down. on the counter.

Buffy’s face lit up in a smile.

“Yay!” Buffy clapped and ran to hug her watcher.

“Bloody buggering gits!” cursed Spike. He had picked up the copy of the contract that Buffy had left on the table. “You can’t force the slayer to stop seeing me you blasted prick!” Spike crumpled up the contract and threw it in Nate’s face.

“The council is concerned that The Slayer’s propensity for romantic attachments to Vampires will not only degrade the image of the council and The Slayer but will ultimately endanger the world,” said Nate trying to uncrumple the paper Spike had tossed in his face.

“Well I won’t sign anything that has something like that written in it. The council doesn’t have that kind of power.”

“If you wish to be paid by the council you will sign a contract.”

“If you wish me to keep secret any of the nasty little tid bits I have in my head that the council doesn’t want published to the demon world or say...Wolfram and Hart...then I think that you will think again.”
__________________________________________
Nate had gone, back to his hotel, and to call the council to redraft the contract once again, leaving Giles, Spike and Buffy alone in the shop.

“Thanks for the support, watcher,” mumbled Spike.

“Don’t let it go to your head. It’s the principle of the thing.”

Buffy beamed.

“You can be all manly and British about it Giles if you want. Thank you,” said Buffy, giving her watcher a hug again.
__________________________________________
For those of you keeping track:

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it. Done
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done
17. Girls night out with Willow.
__________________________________________
tbc...
 

Chapter 10:

The Return of Happy Buffy

“So everything is alright with you and Spike?“ asked Anya.

Buffy looked up from her cards and book and smiled. “Ya, I think so, crisis averted anyway.”

“That’s good, but you have to promise me that if you decide to get married, you know, the human way, you will do it after my wedding.”

“Sure Anya.”

“Do you think he’ll ask you?”

“No, not really, maybe, I don’t know. I kinda screwed up the whole thing. I’m just glad he’s talking to me again and that the yelling has stopped.”

“So are you going to be Happy Buffy again?”

“I’m trying.”

The two women turned as they heard the bell on the door ring. Nate casually strode into the room.

“Ahh Miss Summers,” he greeted.

Buffy cringed. “Mr Bradford, what have you got for me today?”

Nate walked forward with a new version of the contract.

“Giles isn’t here so give the other copy to Anya to read, it’ll be fun!” said Buffy with a twinkle in her eye.

The shop was filled with silence as Buffy and Anya read the new contract.

“No,” said Buffy and Anya at the same time.

They both laughed and compared points at which they disagreed with the contract.

“You can’t put a clause in that states I have to blindly follow the council’s orders,” said Buffy.

“You could change it to ‘perform duties as advised by the council,’” offered Anya .

Nate made a note of it, and waited for the women to finish reading the contract.

“Couldn’t I have a bonus each time I avert the apocalypse?” asked Buffy. “I think that’s fair.”

Nate made some more notes. “I can discuss it with the council for you Miss Summers.”

Buffy smiled sweetly. “That’s great Nate, you’re a peach.”

“You weren’t one of the one’s that came when the whole Glory thing was happening, were you?” asked Anya.

“No,” said Nate. “I’m not lucky enough to be in Mr Travers group of advisors,”

“So you aren’t a real watcher then? Just a Lawyer?” Anya was blunt and caused the watcher to blush.

“Don’t worry about it, Nate. You’ll get to be a proper watcher soon. I know you will be right up there and on the Board of Elders sooner than you think,” offered Buffy sweetly.

“Why thank you Miss Summers.”

“You can call me Buffy, you know.”

“Buffy then.” Nate smiled. “I should have this sorted out by tea time, could we meet then?”

“We could have tea,” agreed Buffy. “Of course I will be bringing one of my friends to review the contract with me,” Buffy added.

Nate’s smile fell from his face. Buffy felt sorry for him. She had this feeling that he really liked her and that he just wanted to spend some alone time with her, but every time he saw her, she had friends around. Friends were a good buffer between her and her ex husband.
__________________________________________
“I want the wanker gone Slayer!”

Spike was mad, but this time not at her. Thank god.

“He’s just doing his job Spike.”

Spike had been standing in the training room of the Magic Box the entire time.

“He’s a bloody nancy boy who’s moving in on what’s mine!”

Spike had begun to pace the training room floor. Buffy smiled.

“You have nothing to worry about Spike!” she protested.

“He’s all ‘you want to come for tea’ and you are flirting back at him!”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“He will be gone soon, Spike.”

“Not before the wanker tries to get into your pants.”

“Spike...”

“I won’t have him after what’s mine.”

“Say that again,” she said happily.

“You are mine,” he said staring into her green eyes and moving closer towards her.

He grabbed her shoulders and began to lick his mark on her neck.

“That’s right Spike, I am yours, and only yours, not Nathaniel Bradford’s or William Blakely’s or any of the other gits I married. I am yours.”

“Mine,” he said forcefully, as he sunk his fangs back into his mark.

“Yours,” she murmured.

The two lovers sunk to the training room floor, and Buffy prayed that everyone else had the sense to not disturb them.
__________________________________________

Tea time rolled around and Buffy and Anya walked into Sunnydale’s finest French restaurant. It was the same one that Wood had taken her to all those years ago, but she didn’t mention that. None of the Scoobies knew who Wood was...yet.

Nate was sitting at the table waiting for them, and Buffy saw his face light up when he saw her. She also could tell that he was pleased that she had brought Anya and not Spike or Giles. There was reason behind the madness of bringing Anya. Anya was a shrewd business woman, she understood Buffy’s plight and Spike would have ripped Nate’s head off.

“Ahh, Miss Summers and Miss Jenkins, delighted,” greeted Nate.

Buffy smiled and helped herself to a chair before Nate could pull one out for her.

“We can’t stay long,” said Buffy, “We have bridal stuff to do.”

“Yes, we can’t be wasting out time here, when I could be getting pampered and fawned over by my Maid of Honour,” said Anya.

Buffy smiled. She just wanted to hug the ex demon. She was so blunt and tactless. And she had finally convinced Anya that she wasn’t truly a Matron of Honour, as she hadn’t been married in a human wedding.

“Ahh, that is disappointing,” said Nate.

“Maybe for you, but I’m going to be sampling cake and picking out flowers.”

“Good times,” agreed Buffy. “Bring on the contract!”

Nate handed the women two copies of Buffy’s contract.

Buffy perused.

Anya perused.

Nate twiddled his thumbs.

Buffy tossed the paper down. “I can’t see anything wrong with it. Now that you’ve made the changes I’ve asked for. Get a copy to Giles, but the end of the night and I’ll sign it in the morning if he has no objections.”

Nate smiled. “I’m very glad to hear it. Won’t you ladies join me for desert perhaps, or a cup of coffee?”

“Hmmm, no,” said Buffy. “But you should try the brandies pears while you are here, they are to die for. You know I think I once said they were the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. I was lying of course, but they are up there, number two definitely.”

“What’s the best thing you’ve had in your mouth, Buffy?” asked Anya innocently.

“Spike.”
__________________________________________
Three hours later and completely sick of floral arrangements, Buffy found her lover at Willy’s hammered.

“Slayer! My Slayer, not watcher boy’s slayer, Mine!” slurred Spike.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Yes, yours all yours no one else’s,” agreed Buffy.

Spike smiled sloppily and almost fell off his stool as he tried to kiss her.

“Ok, Big Bad, it’s time for you to go home.” Buffy hoisted Spike up and nearly dragged him from the bar, thanking Willy for his patience and a promise to come beat him up for information soon.

Throwing Spike in the back seat of the Desoto (which Spike had driven there for some unknown reason, a reason that only he could possibly understand) and closing the door, Buffy made to settle herself behind the wheel.

“Oh no you don’t!” came an irritated voice from the passenger. “You won’t be driving my baby, anywhere. I know your track record woman!”

Spike attempted to move into the front seat part of the car, but was so inebriated that he couldn’t manage it and instead fell onto the floor of the car.

“Relax Spike, I know how to drive.”

“I will not relax! Slayer and cars are *hic* unmixy things.”

Buffy giggled and turned the key, bringing the engine to life.

There was a moan from the back seat.

“Spike, do you honestly think that in 102 years, I didn’t learn how to drive?”

Buffy put the car into drive and stepped on the gas.
__________________________________________
Buffy slammed her front door as soon as Spike had managed to get his sorry arse into the house. He was a terrible backseat driver, even when he couldn’t see anything (because of the paint on the windshield and the fact that he was lying on the floor of the car), and had been yelling at Buffy to “pull this contraption over before you run us into a bleedin’ tree woman!” Buffy had just rolled her eyes.

Now Spike had stumbled upstairs to be one with his bed, only to run into Dawn head first (cause he was watching his feet and not where he was going). The sound of Dawn shrieking and Spike giggling had brought Buffy out of the kitchen holding a can of whipped cream.

“Spike’s drunk,” stated Dawn.

“Naw...I didn’t noticed that when I picked him up off the floor in Willy’s or when he tried to use my breasts to steady himself, or how he thought he could drive nearly passed out on the floor of the Desoto.”

“Ewww, have you seen the garbage down there? Some of that stuff is old, like from the 80’s!”

“Ya, I know.”

“So what are you doing with the can of whipped cream?” asked Dawn curiously. “Are you making me hot chocolate?” she asked hopefully.

“Actually I thought I’d take advantage of Spike in his drunken state, and have wild sex with food.”

Dawn’s jaw hit the floor.

“Oh. My. God. TMI...T.M.I!!! Bad images are now forcing themselves on to my brain! Quick Dawn think of something else! Something else!”

“What?” asked Buffy innocently, holding the can of whipped cream as she watched her sister walk into the living room her fingers in her ears and talking very loudly to herself.

“Slayer! Get that loverly arse of yours up here!” slurred the drunken vampire.

Buffy smiled and shrugged, before squirting some of the dairy goodness into her mouth and proceeding up the stairs.
__________________________________________
For those of you keeping track:

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it. Done
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done
17. Girls night out with Willow.
__________________________________________
tbc...
 

Chapter 11:

__________________________________________
Male Posturing

It was a beautiful Saturday morning, Buffy had decided. She and Dawn were going to spend more of Spike’s money and start Christmas shopping. It was November after all.

Buffy had been glad to see that Tara and Willow were acting normally to each other again. The house of no talking had suddenly become habitable again. Buffy wasn’t under any illusions though. Willow was on a thin thread where Tara and spells were concerned. Buffy was just glad that Amy hadn’t come back from the bonding with her dad.

Buffy bounced into the kitchen to see Willow making non magical pancakes.

“So Wills, you me, ice cream, gummy bears and Ever After?“ asked Buffy.

“Ever After? I haven’t seen that movie in a long time.“

“Good, then it’s a date! We are having best friend bonding tonight, after a quick patrol, you me and the gummies will tell all.“

“All?“

“Well, I reserve the right to refrain from answering on the grounds that you might not like the future.“

“Fair enough. But I want dirt! Spike related dirt.“

Buffy smiled.
__________________________________________
Dawn stood in front of s display of sunglasses, trying on different pairs.

“Do you really think you need another pair of sunglasses, don’t you have like 50?“

“I need just the right pair to wear at Janice's party next Saturday night!“

“You are wearing sunglasses at night, what? Are you Cory Hart now?“

“Who?”

Buffy groaned. Children!

“So you went out with Nate last night?” asked Dawn.

“For like twenty minutes. And with Anya. It’s not something to get beat up about. I can’t wait until he just leaves.”

“I can’t believe that Spike hasn’t eaten him yet, or at least tried to, cause you know, the chip.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Spike wouldn’t eat Nate. He’s all bark but no bite,” Buffy giggled at her own joke.

Dawn groaned this time. “Don’t you wonder though what it would be like if say Angel or Riley showed up and you were all hot and heavy with Spike?”

“No Dawn I so don’t wonder about that!”

Buffy didn’t have to wonder about that at all, she had the not so pleasant memories. Memories that she felt she could learn from.

“Maybe I should bite the bullett and call them now, and tell them, that not only have I moved on from them both but that I’m married and to Spike, William the Bloody. Ya, that would go over well.”

“Are you and Spike gonna get like real married? Can I be your Maid of Honour?”

“Dawn...”

“What it’s a perfectly reasonable question.”

“It’s up to him Dawn, not me. If someday he asks, I’m certainly not going to turn him down.”

“When he asks then? Can I? Please?”

“Consider yourself hired. Come on, they are having a sale on Polident.”

“But Buffy you have your own teeth now, remember?”
__________________________________________
Buffy and Dawn returned to the Magic Box, overwhelmed by the amount of bags that they carried. However once Buffy was in the door, an eager Nate was there to take her bags from her.

“Miss Summers, allow me to help you,” he said after he took the bags.

“Uh, thanks I think.”

Dawn settled down at the table, and started flipping through one of the books Giles had left on the table. Nate put down the bags and began to go through his own papers, in search of the contract.

“Mr...ahh...Giles here has read the contract Miss Summers and has agreed that the terms as they now stand are acceptable.”

“I think I could have told her that myself you git,” muttered Giles, so that Nate couldn’t hear him.

Buffy could though and giggled. Buffy made her way to the ladder at the opposite end of the shop and sat down on the second rung.

“Alright, bring on the contract, I want to sign the thing so I can get my money. My sugar daddy doesn’t need me mooching off of him forever.”

Nate’s ears perked up at that.

“I beg your pardon Miss Summers?”

Buffy blushed. “I have a sugar daddy?”

Nate’s gaze fell to Giles and the younger watcher scowled. Following his gaze Buffy nearly gagged.

“Ewwwww! Not Giles!” Buffy made gross face.

Dawn audibly blanched. “Can I second that Ewww and raise you a three cringes and a lurg?”

“I don’t know, said Anya, “I don’t think Giles is a good example of the male of the human species, he is well proportioned and has a sexy dangerous quality about him.”

Giles cleared his throat.

”Oh of course I am still madly devoted to my Xander.”

“Nate?” asked Buffy bringing her ex husband back to reality, “Contract?”

“Ahh yes...” Nate handed her the contract and a pen.

“I will of course be reading the thing before I put my john handkerchief on it.”

“I think you mean John Hancock, love,” came Spike’s voice from the back entrance.

“Do you ever sleep when all the normal vampires are sleeping?” she asked.

“Not when this wanker is up and about,” said Spike motioning towards Nate.

“I beg your pardon!” demanded the younger watcher.

“You heard what I said,” Spike smirked. Spike walked closer to the watcher menacingly.

“Ooh a display of masculine posturing!” clapped Anya.

“Ya, it’s divine,” said Dawn. “I’m going home, I think I can come up with something better to do than watching Nate and Spike fight over Buffy.”

Buffy just rolled her eyes and kept reading. She trusted both Spike and Nate enough to not kill each other. Well not in her presence anyway.

“I am not inclined to respond politely or at all to a vampire who is merely a shadow of what he once was,” said Nate with a scowl.

Buffy looked up from her contract.

“Would ya like to find out just how much of a shadow I really am?”

“I know all about your incapacitating chip William the Bloody... You can’t possibly hurt me.” Nate took off his suit jacket and laid it down on the research table.

“Oh is this how it’s gonna be then? You’ll but down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll fight each other like civilized men?” Spike said the line with absolute seriousness.

Buffy nearly lost it. She had to support herself from rolling around on the floor laughing.

“Buffy you cannot possibly allow them to simply go at it like pair of bucks fighting over a doe?” said Giles.

“Why not? They seem to want to.”

“You aren’t fit to be in her presence, much less be in her circle of friends,” spouted Nate.

“Are you calling me a Scooby now?” Spike was outraged.

“How about they go into the training room, to continue their displays masculine prowess?” said Anya, clearly afraid for her merchandise.

“That’s a good idea,” said Buffy, ”maybe I can read the contract then!” she shouted

Both men turned to look at the small blond slayer and attempted to look sheepish.

“Either go into the training room and bash each other’s brains out or sit your buns down and wait.”

Buffy glowered at the two men, until they both sat at the table.

“It’s at times like these when I wish I could make that whip noise that Xander does,” said Anya.

So Buffy made the whip noise. Buffy chuckled to herself, but continued reading. She could tell Spike was miffed by Anya’s comment, but the faster she read, the faster Nate could go and the faster Spike would quit being so possessive.

Finally, Buffy was finished reading and was more or less pleased with all the changes that had been made. Buffy stood up walked over to the table and leaned over to sign her name to the paper. Buffy was all too aware that she was really sticking out her butt, and in Spike’s direction too.

Buffy shoved the paper towards Nate and sat down on Spike’s lap.

“There you go, all signed and everything. It was a pleasure doing business with you.” Buffy smiled.

“Right then,” said Spike, wrapping his hands around Buffy’s waist. “You’ve done your bit, now skedaddle off to your poncy council.”

Nate was furious. Despite his rage, Nate managed to push the contract into his brief case. “I will make sure that a copy will be sent to your home Miss Summers,” he said through clenched teeth.

Buffy nodded and watched, with a little sadness, her ex husband walk out of the magic shop and hopefully her life for a few more years at least.
__________________________________________
“So what’s he like...you know?” asked Willow, shoving a few more gummy bears into her mouth.

Buffy and Willow were pyjama clad in the living room of 1630 Revello Dr, participating in Best Friend Fest 2001.

“Are you sure you want to know?” asked Buffy.

“Of course!”

“He’s happy inducing.”

“Better than Angel?”

“Yep.”

“Better than Riley?”

“And how! I mean come on, can’t you hear us through the walls?”

Willow giggled. “Tara put up a sound dampening spell around your room, after the first night.”

“That was way smart of her. But you should have told me, I’ve been trying to be quiet.”

“Coulda fooled me. So tell me about Buffy, from the future, what’s the dirt?”

“Dirt? There’s no dirt, Willow.”

“Come on, just how many guys have you married?”

“Human wise, with the justice of the peace? Six times.”

“So tell me who else you married, besides Mr Natey Nate.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Cause you said I could ask anything?”

Buffy exhaled. “Ok, Nathaniel Bradford, you met him, William Blakely, another watcher, Frederick Corbett, He was/ is/will be an author. Then there was Percy Wyndam-Price, another watcher...”

“Whoa back up, Wyndam-Price? As in Wesley Wyndam-Price?”

“Um, Wesley’s cousin. We met at Welsey’s funeral, but didn’t start up together until Rick and I divorced. Then there was Antonio Botelli, he was a Singer, Opera, actually. And last but not least William Darcy. He was a Brownie or half Brownie.”

“Ok, leaving the Brownie thing alone... So your name is what? Buffy Anne Summers-Bradford-Blakely-Corbett-Wyndam-Price-Botelli-Darcy?”

Buffy frowned, “Well if I’d taken their names, but I didn’t can you imagine Buffy Botelli? Too many B’s.”

Willow laughed.

“So when do I die?” asked Willow getting very serious all of a sudden.

“Willow...”

“Can you at least tell me if I die old or young?”

“Wills...ok, you have a long life, you do a lot of good for the world. I was with you at the end, and ...” Buffy had started to tear up.

“Oh Buffy!” Willow dropped the bag of gummy bears and hugged her friend.

“I didn’t want you to go Wills! You were my best friend!”

“Present tense please, I am your best friend!”

“I know Wills,” Buffy sniffed.

“Were we still all friends at the end?”

Buffy pulled away from Willow and got all silent.

“Buffy?”

“We lose track of Xander...after some really bad stuff happens. “

“Oh Buffy!”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, it was just with...the bad stuff, and all, Xander wanted a normal life. He needed to get away from the demons and the magic. We let him go. It was what he wanted. He died a Grandpa, and we said our goodbyes at his funeral, but no one there knew who we were.”
__________________________________________
Buffy stood in front of her mirror, almost ready for bed. Spike was out playing poker again. She hoped with all her might that it wasn’t for kittens, but she wasn’t holding her breath. She looked so different from what she looked like a two weeks ago. Buffy started prodding and poking at her face, seeing where the wrinkles would form.

Without realising it, Buffy had started to examine her teeth. Tentatively, her fingers began to pull on her teeth, just to make sure that they were firmly imbedded into her cranium.

“Bloody Hell! What are you doing?” came Spike’s voice from the doorway.

Buffy jumped back from the mirror. “Nothing?”

“Looked like you were pulling your fangs down. That’s not what you were doing now was it?”

“No, just making sure they wouldn’t fall out.”

Spike snorted.

“How come you are all at home on poker night?”

“Can’t a bloke spend some time with his mate?”

“I thought you wanted to spend some time with your mates“ she said coyly.

“Who wants to spend time with Clem when I have a passionate firecracker waiting for me in my bed?”

“Our bed Spike, our bed.”
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Chapter 12:

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Lazy Sunday

Buffy stumbled down stairs to take in the mess that she and Willow had left from their girls night out. Ice cream cartons, gummy bear bags, and a half eaten bowl of popcorn littered the living room. Buffy’s colourful assortment of nail polish along with cotton balls and polish remover were under the coffee table. Buffy stooped to pick the collection up, only to step on a gummy bear.

It was Sunday morning, and instead of sleeping in with her yummy mate, she was cleaning. This was something that heralded another apocalypse, she was certain of it.

She was having breakfast with Anya in town. The truth was that Buffy kinda felt bad about leaving Anya out of her and Willow’s friend fest. Anya was her friend, more so now that before, but still Buffy liked Anya, and she was rapidly skyrocketing to the number two position in the best friend Olympics.
__________________________________________
“So Xander was telling me that he’s thinking of asking Giles to be his best man,” said Anya.

The two women were eating omelettes in a brightly lit restaurant on Sunnydale’s main drag.

“Really? Does that mean I have to walk up the aisle with Giles? And dance with him at the reception?”

“You weren’t planning on dancing with him at the reception anyway?”

“Well, I guess I hadn’t thought about it.” Buffy took a sip of her orange juice.

“I don’t know, sometimes I think I’m doing this wedding thing all wrong. I’ve never attended one before, well at least not in a non vengeance capacity. I don’t know what’s expected and traditional, except for everything that comes out of the bridal magazines. They have been my life line, literally.”

“It’s your wedding Anya, you and Xander have to make your own traditions and your own memories, who cares what other weddings looked like, or what other couples did?”

“Xander does,” mumbled Anya.

“Then Xander is a poop head. It’s your day. If you want to include some stuff from your own demon traditions, then that’s great. If he doesn’t accept that...well you will just have to make him see.”

Anya smiled. “I could. We’ve had the discussion, somewhat. He really didn’t like it. I think the groom’s right of self flagellation turned him off demon traditions.”

Buffy laughed. “Ya I can see that happening. But Anya, if he doesn't respect your beliefs, do you really think that you should just cater to his ideas about how a marriage... I mean a wedding should take place?”

Anya was silent for a while.

“You are right. It’s my wedding too. He just has these issues about demons. I think they are getting better though. I mean he’s not always muttering about you and Spike anymore, not after you talked to him.”

“One of my better talking head times. They don’t always work.”

“No, but you tried. I know you did. I just hope that Willow doesn’t go off the deep end. I know of quite a few people who are just lost to the potential darkness of magic, like there’s this guy Rack...bad news, let me tell you...”

Buffy smiled.

“Rack’s gone Anya, I took care of him right after Amy.”

“You were the one that turned Amy back?” gasped Anya.

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Oh crap. You can’t tell anyone Anya. I meant to keep that a secret.”

“Why? You have witchy power now? What’s so wrong about that? It’s not like you are going to blow up the world or anything...are you...going to blow up the world?”

“No, Anya, strictly here on a live my life over kick.”

Anya nodded.

“But could you...blow up the world if you wanted to? I ask as a point of interest...I never had that kind of power.”

“I don’t think I could Anya, I wouldn’t try anyway, I’m the Slayer, the world protector.”

“So are you willing to impart gossip from the future?”

“Anya...”

“I bet you told Willow lots of stuff, come on, just a couple of things?”

Buffy smiled.

“You managed to acquire a very fruitful portfolio of investments, The Magic Box was doing very well, in it’s online business anyway.”

“And Xander?”

“What about Xander?” Buffy gulped.

“Do we live happily ever after?”

Buffy didn’t answer.

“Buffy?”
__________________________________________
It broke Buffy’s heart to tell Anya that she didn’t live happily ever after with Xander. Luckily the ex demon didn’t push any further.

Buffy arrived home from Breakfast to find Spike still fast asleep in their bed. Looking at him all cute and boyish, clutching her pillow, she could help but think about all the things that she wanted to change. She didn’t want Spike to die. She didn’t want Xander and Anya to go through the painful altar leaving episode, the problem was, she really didn’t think that they should get married at all. It was horrible to think of her friend like this, but Xander was a bigot, when it came to demons and ex demons. Anya deserved someone better than Xander. And Xander needed to have someone that he could love without having to try and change.

Buffy flung off her shoes and crawled in beside Spike.

“Mmm Slayer,” he moaned as he pulled her closer to him.

“Not naked Slayer though,” he frowned. “Want Naked Slayer.”

Buffy giggled and started to divest herself of her clothes.
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Buffy was humming along to some peppy pop song that she couldn’t quite remember the words to, while she cleaned the bathroom. Willow and Tara were up and about already, Spike was asleep, naturally, and Dawn... Where was Dawn.

Buffy peaked her head into Dawn’s room to see the teen still sleeping. It was at least noon. It was funny how Dawn had passed that trait on to her offspring. Buffy remembered trying to get Eleanor to get up on Sundays with limited success.

Buffy walked into the room and stared at the sleeping body. She looked so much like Eleanor. Buffy jumped on the bed and started to bounce up and down.

She was having such a good time, jumping on the bed, that she lost herself for a moment.

“Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells! Get your lazy ass out of bed!”

The moment the words were out of her mouth she stopped jumping. crap, crap, crap!

“Who the hell is Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells?” asked an angry and sleepy Dawn.

“Uh, no one.“ Buffy jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.

“Nuh uh,” said Dawn as she jumped off the bed herself and chased after her sister.

“Who is Eleanor Michelle Summers-Wells?”

Buffy ran into her room and hid behind her bed.

“Tell me Buffy!” shouted Dawn as she entered the room.

Buffy peaked her head out from behind the bed.

“Buffy...”

“Bloody Hell Nib! Can’t a vamp sleep in peace?”

“Sorry Spike...” mumbled Dawn. “Buffy!” she hissed.

Buffy rolled her eyes and stood up.

“Tell her, Slayer, before I do,” mumbled the sleepy vampire into his pillow.

“You don’t know...”

Spike sat up and looked at Buffy.

“Tell her!” he growled.

“Fine,” Buffy hissed.

Buffy stomped out of her bedroom and followed Dawn down stairs.

Down in the kitchen Buffy grabbed her box of cereal and started munching.

“So?” asked Dawn.

Buffy exhaled loudly.

“Eleanor Michelle is/will be your daughter, Dawn. She was/is like my own daughter, raised her, you were so busy being a watcher, tracking down potential slayers and Andrew, well he wasn’t around much either. She looks so much like you Dawn. I miss her. Sometimes it’s hard to see you acting like a teenager when you’re my sister who’s dead, Dawn.”

Buffy wiped a tear away from her cheek.

“How’d I die, Buffy?”

“Vampire... isn’t it always? Your Slayer was kidnapped and tortured and killed. Turned. She killed you Dawn.”

Dawn was crying now too.

“I’m not going to let it happen that way Dawn. Not again.”

Dawn leapt up and hugged her sister.

“Don’t you think I knew what I was doing? You can’t change the future Buffy!”

“A future where you leave your little girl an orphan?”

“At least I know that she’ll have Aunt Buffy to take care of her.”

“Dawn...”

Dawn pulled back from the hug.

“I love you Buffy.”

Buffy smiled. “I love you too Dawnie.”

Dawn sniffed. “Gonna make me lunch now?” asked Dawn.

“After the tear fest? You betcha.”

“Yay!”
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Willow and Tara came home to find Dawn and Buffy working on Dawn’s English essay.

“I feel like I’ve slipped into the twilight zone. Look at Buffy with the homework!” said Willow.

“Shouldn’t Dawn be doing her own homework?” asked Tara hesitantly.

“Only proofreading,” protested Buffy.

“Buffy’s been doing lots of work on her thesis,” said Dawn.

“Yeah, Giles told me, I guess I had to see it for myself. I’d love to read it,” said Willow.

“You missed the stupid Buffy lecture in which Bad things happened.”

“Or good things, depending on point of view. Spike’s my brother in Law!” gushed Dawn happily.

“Ooooh! Party! Claiming party!” said Willow.

“We should have an engagement party for Anya and Xander don’t you think?” said Tara, “First anyway?”

“Tara’s right,” said Buffy. “Anya and Xander have been all announce-y first. Besides I don’t know if this is something that Spike wants to celebrate with a party.”

“That’s fair,” said Dawn.

“So party for Anya and Xander then?” offered up Buffy.

“Is this a present type party?” asked Tara.

“I think it’s a go for presents,” said Buffy.

“I can do decorations!” Willow jumped up and down.

Buffy looked harshly at Willow.

“Non magic decorations,” clarified Willow.

Tara smiled happily.

“A theme party!” said Dawn suddenly.

“You mean besides the over arching wedding theme?” asked Buffy.

“Duh! How about like a whole welcome to the demon world Xander. It would be hilarious.” Dawn started making notes for the party.

“Or not?” said Willow.

“I like Dawn’s idea, sweetie,” said Tara.

“We could find out what Anya ate in Arashamahar, Willow, you could invite D’Hoffryn,” offered Buffy.

“D’Hoffryn? Are you sure?” asked Willow.

“Absolutely! We could find out who her demon best friend was/is,” said Dawn, still making notes.

“Hallfrek,” stated Buffy.

“Who frek?” asked Dawn.

“Hallfrek Vengeance demon, Anyanka’s best friend,” supplied Buffy. “What?” said Buffy after Willow started giving her looks. “I’m helping her with the wedding, of course I know who Hallfrek is! She’s a bride’s maid.”

“Huh. Looks like we’ve got some research to do,” said Willow.
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For those of you keeping track:

Buffy’s List of Things To Do Now That I’m NOT an Old Crone

1. Go to the Beach - work on tan, before the ozone layer completely evaporates - Take Dawn Done
2. Have sex with love of your life, as much as possible.
3. Eat junk food.Done
4. Shop, shop like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bronze it up - Take Spike - Get Drunk - get the hang over of all hangovers Done
6. Visit Mom’s grave, if possible, look to move her out of Sunnydale.
7. Patrol, kick undead booty
8. Have talk with Willow about magic over use - possible prop, ice cream, chocolate chips and gummy bears.
9. Marriage counsel Xander and Anya (Pre marriage counsel?)
10. Put nerds in jail, possibly after diamond bust (note, what to do about Andrew?)
11. Have Giles start looking into the watcher’s diaries about the first evil - thus stopping the trip to England.
12. Get paid by watcher’s council. God knows they can afford it. Done
13. Find Cameras put up by nerds
14. De-rat Amy. Done
15. Find Rack and take him out. Done
16. Get that Double meat icky lady demon thing. Done
17. Girls night out with Willow. Done
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tbc...
 

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