Chapter 1 – Whispers and Screams


A/N Out of my canon/semi-canon fics, this one is slowly becoming my favorite, so please review and let me know what you think. This is set early season 5- Pre-Dawn.



Idly propping herself up on one of the headstones, Buffy looked around the
cemetery with a bored expression. She had been patrolling for two hours
and hadn’t seen a single vampire.

“Vampires,” she called softly, pouting when none showed up. “That’s it,”
she muttered to herself. “There’s nothing evil out here, I’m going home.”

Tucking her stake away, Buffy eagerly headed in the direction of her house.
Rounding the corner of a mausoleum, she felt her forehead connect with
something, sending stars shooting in front of her eyes.

“Bloody hell, Slayer!” Spike yelled, clutching his nose as Buffy rubbed her
head.

“Speaking of nothing evil,” she muttered.

“Hey!” Spike cried indignantly. “And why don’t you watch where you’re
soddin’ going next time!”

“Me?” she asked incredulously. “You’re the one with the vamp senses.
Shouldn’t you have known a Slayer was nearby?”

Spike clenched his jaw as his eyes rolled upward. “So I’m supposed to avoid
my own home just because you don’t have a sense of direction?”

Buffy tightened her lips. “Just go away, Spike.”

“Why should I?” he asked with a smirk, turning around to follow her as she
began to walk away. “When it seems to annoy you so much that I’m here.”

“Do you want me to use this?” she asked, pulling the stake out of the
waistband of her pants.

Spike merely chuckled at her. “Yeah, because that’s been so efficient in
the past?”

“I seem to remember staking you a year ago,” she countered, crossing her
arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow.

“I seem to remember letting you,” he said with that annoyingly handsome
smirk of his.

“Is that a fact?”

“Remember? It tickled…in a good way,” he said, his voice dropping as he took
a step toward her.

Buffy suppressed a shiver from running down her spine at his close proximity
and quickly backed away. “I’m going home,” she muttered, deciding it wasn’t
worth it to get involved in this pointless argument.

“No you’re not.”

Buffy’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“I just figured you’d want to take care of the demon behind you.”

She quickly whirled around, making a face at the ugly greenish-brown demon
that was running at them. Bracing herself, Buffy grunted when it collided
with her, throwing her to the ground before she flipped them, punching it
in the face.

She was shocked when she felt herself propelled into the air, her back
connecting with a nearby tree.

Grimacing as she pushed herself back into a standing position, Buffy was
relieved to see Spike getting in a few hits before he was also thrown into
the air.

Sprinting toward the demon, Buffy ducked as its claws swiped at her, landing
a sharp kick to its ribs. Straightening once more, she was about to hit the
demon again when she felt a sharp pain run through her arm. Catching her
off guard, she closed her eyes trying to block it out when the demon landed
a powerful blow to her jaw, nearly rendering her unconscious as she fell to
the ground.

Gasping for breath, she protectively curled herself into a ball, unsure of
what was happening to her. She could vaguely hear Spike in the distance, fighting
the demon.

“Slayer?”

His voice traveled toward her, sounding as if it was a whisper.

Pushing herself up to brace her weight on her hands, Buffy willed her eyes
to focus and was surprised to see the demon running away.

Spike sighed, deciding it wasn’t worth it to chase him. He slowly walked
over to Buffy, offering her a hand and pulling her to her feet.

“What happened, Slayer?”

“What?”

Spike raised an eyebrow, looking into her eyes. “What happened?” he
repeated, pronouncing each word.

Buffy saw Spike’s lips moving, seconds before a piercing scream echoed
through her head. Her hands immediately went to her ears as she tried to
recoil from the shrill sound.

“Spike, what is that?” she yelled.

“What’s what?” Spike asked, looking at her as if she’d lost her mind.

Buffy couldn’t hear him. The shrieks that were reverberating through her
body were painful. “What’s happening?” she asked weakly when the sound
diminished.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spike said in confusion, looking
around and hoping for an answer to appear in front of him.

“Spike?”

His eyes returned to hers, his brow furrowed as she looked at him.
“Slayer?”

“Spike…I-I can’t hear you,” she murmured, seconds before she collapsed
against him.

Spike quickly caught the young woman in his arms, frowning when her eyes
rolled shut. Lowering her to the ground, he began shaking her slightly.
“Come on, Summers,” he muttered. “Open your eyes.”

He could detect her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, swinging her into his arms. “Your mates would
stake me good and proper if I left you here.”

Deciding the best place to take her would be her Watcher’s, Spike hurried in
the direction.

* * * * *

Giles could have sworn he had a stroke when he opened the door to reveal
Spike holding the seemingly lifeless body of the Slayer in his arms.

Staking him occurred to the older man for a brief moment before he realized
that Spike hadn’t hurt Buffy. If he did, he surely wouldn’t have been stupid
enough to show up on her Watcher’s doorstep.

“What happened?” he asked, checking Buffy’s pulse as Spike lay her on the
couch.

“We got attacked. I think it was a Tacora demon. I’ve never seen one
personally…didn’t even know they were on this side of the world, but that’s
what it looked like.”

“How did this happen?” Giles asked.

“I don’t know,” Spike said, shaking his head. “It only threw her once. Did
the same thing to me and I was fine.”

“You’re a vampire, Spike.”

“Thanks for the memo.”

“What I mean is, things obviously could affect you differently.”

“Yeah, well…it got in one good hit and she went down. She seemed a little
dazed but fine. Then she started asking me what that sound was.”

“What sound?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Spike replied. “I couldn’t hear a thing,
and my hearing is a little more advanced than hers. She acted like she
couldn’t hear me and then…”

Spike trailed off, gesturing to her currently passed out status.

“She couldn’t hear you?”

“Apparently not,” Spike said, walking for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve done my part,” Spike said, lighting a cigarette before opening the
door. “Saved the little girl from the baddie, and I didn’t even leave her
when she passed out. I’m thinking my work is done for the night.”

Giles didn’t have a chance to reply as Spike walked out the door. For a
soulless vampire, he really had gone above and beyond what was expected of
him…not that Giles would ever tell him that.

Five minutes later, Buffy moaned as she drifted back to consciousness.
Opening her eyes, Giles waited until she had focused on him with a puzzled
expression.

“Giles?”

Buffy frowned, clearing her throat when she couldn’t hear her own voice.

“Giles?” she tried again.

His eyes widened when he realized she couldn’t hear her own words. She
couldn’t hear a thing.


 

Chapter 2 – Looking for Answers


“Giles?” Buffy asked for the third time, looking at her Watcher before
gesturing for something to write with.

Giles didn’t have the heart to let her know that he could hear her as he
walked over to his desk. Returning after a moment, he handed her some paper
and a pen.

‘Gentlemen?’

He closed his eyes at the written question, unable to look at the hope in
her eyes that the Gentlemen had stolen the town’s voices again. Taking a
deep breath, Giles shook his head.

“Buffy,” he started, sighing when she studied his lips carefully, her brow
furrowed in concentration. Giles realized this would be easier if he could
get this out without any confusion. Slowly leaning forward, he took the
paper and pen from her and quickly scrawled something underneath the note.

Holding her breath, Buffy read the question.

‘Do you remember fighting a demon?’

Buffy nodded hesitantly, unsure of what was happening and where Giles was
going with this.

‘Do you remember what happened?’

Buffy thought for a moment before her eyes widened. She frantically
gestured to her head, covering her ears, shaking her head back and forth. It
took only a matter of seconds before she seemed to realize what happened.
Giles watched as she began to withdraw into herself.

Gasping for air, Buffy shook her head in disbelief, sinking into the back
of the couch.

“You can hear me?” she asked, tearing up when Giles nodded.

Buffy jumped up from the couch, pacing the room and trying to keep her tears
from spilling over as she worried her bottom lip.

‘This can’t be happening,’ she thought, running her hands through her hair,
trying to do anything to keep her mind occupied. Shaking her head back and
forth as if she was trying to expel her thoughts…or trying to get her
hearing back.

“How is this possible?” she asked, finally turning back to Giles, who was
already flipping through his books, wanting to give her an answer to that
very question.

“I’m trying to find out,” he replied, making sure to look directly at Buffy
and speak slowly so she could read his lips.

Buffy studied him carefully, nodding when she comprehended what he said.

“B-but we can fix it, right?” she asked with the apprehension clear in her
voice. “I-I mean…it’s only temporary?”

“I don’t know,” Giles said, never looking up.

Buffy didn’t need to read his lips or even look at him to know what he said.
She thought back to the fight, remembering a particularly brutal punch to
the face. Reaching up and gently running a hand over her tender cheek, she
cringed in pain. It was already beginning to swell, and Slayers weren’t
supposed to swell. They bleed, they get broken bones, but they don’t swell.

Nearly collapsing onto the couch, Buffy looked at her Watcher, a
heartbreaking expression marring her features. “How can I be the Slayer if
I’m deaf?” she asked in a whisper. “I won’t know if something is behind me,
I won’t…”

She trailed off in a choked sob as Giles looked at her with tears in his
eyes. ‘She’s going to need someone strong enough to help her.’

* * * * *

Spike poured himself a tall glass of blood before mixing in some burba weed.
Staring into the crimson liquid, his mind wandered as he took a long
swallow. He couldn’t help but wonder how the Slayer was doing.

“Why do I care about her?” he muttered to himself, confused.

Nevertheless, his thoughts continued to drift to the blonde girl, genuinely
perplexed by what happened tonight. It wasn’t exactly a normal occurrence
for the Slayer to lose one of her senses. He’d never heard of anything like
it, and he’d been around for over a century.

Sitting down in his chair, Spike didn’t even bother to turn on his TV.
‘What does it mean when the girl who needs each one of her senses to work in
the highest capacity doesn’t have that anymore?’ Spike wondered, running his
teeth along his bottom lip and staring at the back wall of his crypt.

* * * * *

“There it is!” Giles yelled excitedly.

Buffy looked up, unable to hear him, of course, but seeing that he had leapt
from his chair in excitement. She waited anxiously, being unusually quiet
for a change as Giles read the passage in his book.

The frown on his face did not serve to dissuade Buffy from any of her fears.
Giles tossed the book on the coffee table before taking his glasses off
and frantically cleaning them.

Hesitantly picking up the book, Buffy decided it would be easier to read for
herself than trying to interpret whatever Giles would have communicated to
her.

‘Tacora demon- preternaturally strong- intelligent’

Buffy continued to read, not seeing anything that would be helpful. The
demon didn’t have venom that could cause an unusual reaction. Nothing that
explained what was happening to her.

Slamming the book shut, Buffy threw it across the room. She didn’t know
if it hit anything, since she was swimming in a sea of nothing. Dropping
her head into her hands, she breathed deeply, trying to ward off the tears
that were threatening to spill over.

Feeling a gentle touch to her shoulder, Buffy looked up into Giles’ kind
eyes as he sat down across from her.

“I think,” he began slowly. “I think when the demon hit you…it must have
been powerful enough to make you lose your hearing.”

The miserable look on the young woman’s face almost had him in tears, as
well. It wasn’t much of an explanation, but it was the only one he had.

Buffy knew that she had someone sitting less than two feet away, but she’d
never felt so alone in her life. “How am I going to get through this? How
can I…”

She trailed off as Giles’ mind wandered. He would have to be very careful
in how he arranged his plan.




Chapter 3 – Making a Deal


Spike was pouring himself a glass of blood when he heard the door to his
crypt open. Inhaling sharply, he didn’t bother to turn around as he
identified the unannounced visitor.

“What do you need, Watcher?” he asked, taking a long swallow of blood.

Giles was slightly taken aback that Spike knew it was him before he
remembered he was dealing with a vampire.

The blonde turned around with a raised eyebrow, staring at the other man.
“Spit it out, Rupert, I don’t have all day.”

Giles looked outside at the sun brightly shining in the sky and had to
smile. “I think you do.”

“Alright, but that doesn’t mean I want the pleasure of your company.
‘Passions’ is on in five, so tell me what brings you to my humble home?”

“Buffy.”

Spike was instantly concentrating on the conversation, although not letting
Giles know that. He didn’t bother to think about why anything involving the
Slayer would cause him to be this focused- he just knew that he’d been more
worried about her than he should have been.

“How’s the Slayer doing?” he asked, taking another drink, pretending to act
indifferent toward the situation. It had been a week since the incident in
the graveyard, and Spike hadn’t seen the Slayer since.

“She’s deaf,” Giles answered simply, watching as Spike stared into his
glass, showing no emotion to the news.

“Permanent?”

“It would appear to be.”

Spike nodded, never looking up. “How’s she handling it?”

“About as well as can be expected,” Giles replied. “She’s becoming quite
capable of reading lips, but it’s obviously very frustrating for her.”

“Got to be a hell of a problem when she’s slaying,” he murmured, never
making eye contact with the other man.

“That’s actually why I’m here,” Giles replied.

Spike took a deep breath, walking over to a coffin and jumping onto it with
ease, letting one of his legs kick against the side as they studied each
other.

“Well…are you going to stand there and stare at me all day, or am I supposed
to guess why you came here?”

“I think you already know.”

“Humor me.”

“I want you to help, Buffy.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“And may I ask why you’re not willing to help her?”

“How long do you have?” Spike asked, tilting his head and setting his mouth
in a hard line. “It’s bad enough I have to help your little Scooby gang
whenever there’s a big evil brewing, but now you’re wanting me to go on
nightly patrols with the Slayer? I don’t have a death wish, Rupert,” he
finished, spitting out the name.

“You honestly think that if something comes after you for helping out the
Slayer, you couldn’t handle yourself in a fight?”

“Of course I could,” Spike said with a scoff, realizing too late that he’d
walked right into the trap. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

“How much is this going to cost me?”

A slow smile spread across Spike’s face as he bit his lip, thinking of an
estimate.

“Two hundred a week.”

Spike would have gone higher, but he really only had the need for blood and
smokes and two hundred was more than enough. He watched as Giles seemed to
be contemplating the request.

“One fifty,” Giles replied after a minute as Spike smiled and shook his
head.

“Come now, Watcher, I know you just bought yourself a pretty new shop.”

“Exactly. I don’t have the funds to be paying a vampire an extra two
hundred dollars a week.”

“So your Slayer’s life isn’t worth two hundred, but it is worth one fifty?”
Spike asked with a raised eyebrow, studying the other man carefully, knowing
that Buffy was his weakness.

“Fine,” Giles replied in a resigned voice. How could he put a price on his
Slayer? “Two hundred a week and Buffy must stay alive. If she dies, you die
a slow, painful death.”

Spike felt a small amount of fear go through him as Ripper seemed to make a
rare appearance. “Fine,” he muttered. “When does the Slayer want to
start?”

“Well…she doesn’t know about this.”

“What?” Spike asked, his brow furrowed.

“And she’s not going to,” Giles continued. “It’s going to be hard enough to
convince her to work with you, but if she knew you were only doing it
because you were getting paid, there’s no way she would agree to it.”

Spike sighed, rolling his eyes before he spoke. “You’re expecting her to
think I’m just helping her out of the evilness of my heart?”

“No, I’m expecting her to think that if you work with her in return for a
certain amount of protection, she’ll be a little more agreeable.”

“Bloody hell! I don’t need the Slayer protecting me like I’m some fledgling
who doesn’t know how to work his fangs!”

“She doesn’t know that.”

Spike sighed, clenching his jaw. “She should,” he muttered, seeing the look
that Giles was giving him. “Fine. She won’t know about the money. I’ll
keep my end of the bargain and you keep yours. Everyone goes home happy.
When do we start?”

* * * * *

“Spike’s really going to help her?” Willow asked as she exchanged a look
with Tara. They were helping Giles set up a display in the Magic Box when
he broached the subject.

“I-I think it’s a good idea,” Tara said with a soft smile.

“I felt he could help her in ways that we can’t,” Giles replied. “But Buffy
must not know that he’s being paid.”

“Yeah,” Willow agreed with a nod. “That’s understandable. She’d never
trust him.”

“I’m not sure if she’ll trust him now,” Giles said with a shake of his head.
“I don’t even know if she should trust him, but I do feel Spike will
protect her. If, for no other reason, to keep himself alive. And we are
the only ones that know of this arrangement,” he continued, giving both
girls a stern look. “Xander will have enough problems when he finds out, and
I don’t think Anya knows how to keep a secret.”

“It’s okay, Giles,” Willow said with a smile. “You did the right thing.
When do they start?”

“Buffy is supposed to be here tonight. I asked Spike to drop by later…maybe
they can at least attempt to work together.”
 

Chapter 4 – Pretending


Walking toward the Magic Box, Buffy kept a careful eye on her surroundings.
It had only been a week, and already she felt as if everything that she
walked by held some unknowing creature that was waiting for her. Living in
Sunnydale, this wasn’t an uncommon fear, but being the Slayer, Buffy wasn’t
supposed to be this skittish.

‘It feels like I’m a five year old afraid of the boogeyman,’ she thought,
kicking a rock as she walked.

Her heart felt as if it was sinking in her chest when she saw the shop come
into view.

‘Time to pretend like everything’s okay,’ she thought bitterly as she pushed
open the door. She could see everyone crowding around the table look up
when she walked through the door. Riley wasn’t there yet, and Buffy felt a
little guilty that she was relieved. He played the supportive boyfriend
role, but it almost seemed like he was relieved that Buffy was more
dependent on other people…especially him.

Buffy saw some of her friends wave and other’s say ‘hi’. Obviously, they
were forgetting that she couldn’t hear them as they ducked their heads and
offered a wave instead. Buffy sighed. She actually preferred them trying
to talk to her, even if she couldn’t hear them. As long as they looked
directly at her, she was finding it easier to read lips, but most,
especially Xander, apparently thought that making strange gesticulations
with their hands was easier to understand.

Buffy gave them a timid smile before dropping into a chair and watching
Giles, wondering if he was ready to begin. He closed the door of the back
room, wiping his hands as he approached the table.

“Hello, Buffy.”

Buffy smiled in response- her Watcher’s kind eyes never failed to put her at
ease.

“What’s going on tonight?” she asked, feeling uneasy when everyone’s eyes
turned to her. As the Slayer, Buffy was used to being the one everyone
turned to, but now it seemed as if their eyes were on her out of surprise
that she had spoken or pity when they remembered her condition.

“Do you not want to wait for Riley?”

Buffy shook her head, getting the gist of what Giles was saying. “He can
get caught up. He knew what time to be here.”

She knew she sounded bitter, even though she couldn’t hear her own voice,
but it was hard not to.

“Very well,” Giles replied, speaking in clear and concise words, even more
articulated than usual as he made sure Buffy could see him at all times.
“I’ve asked you all here tonight because I think Buffy needs help.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she tried to interpret what Giles was going to tell
her. “You mean…you think there’s a cure?” she asked hopefully, biting her
lip as she waited for him to answer. Her heart felt like it was breaking
all over again when she saw him shake his head.

“I’m sorry, no,” Giles replied with sad eyes. “I mean help with
patrolling.”

“Giles, I can’t patrol,” Buffy said, already feeling the panic build up
inside of her and hating the feeling of uncertainty. Slaying was supposed
to be the one thing she knew how to do, and that had been stripped away.

“You can,” Giles insisted. “With some help.”

“What kind of help?” Buffy asked warily.

As if on cue, the door to the Magic Box opened and Spike walked through with
his leather duster billowing behind him. Everyone turned to look at him, and
Buffy cursed herself for taking the seat that had her back to the door. She
quickly turned, her mouth dropping open when she saw the blonde vampire.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No way…there’s no way!” she cried,
jumping up and walking over to Giles. “You expect him to help me? I’m sure
he’ll help…help one of his little vampire friends sink their teeth into my
neck when I least expect it.”

“Buffy-“

Before Giles could finish, Buffy felt her arm seized in a strong grip,
spinning her around. Spike looked directly in her eyes, never leaving her
gaze. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy was vaguely aware that Xander was
moving and saying something, but her eyes were focused on the man in front
of her.

“You help me…I help you,” Spike said, watching as Buffy’s eyes darted down
to his lips, studying them for a moment.

“Why?” she asked skeptically.

“Because I don’t really fancy trying to break in a new Slayer,” Spike
replied with a smirk.

Buffy was surprised that she was able to understand him so easily, but she
was more surprised when she smiled at the comment. She realized that she
hadn’t smiled in a week, and her face almost hurt with the effort.

“Come on…let’s get in a workout.”

Buffy nodded, feeling relief course through her. It seemed like all of her
friends were always walking on eggshells around her, and it was a nice break
to have someone treat her like it was a regular night.

Turning around to walk to the back, Buffy saw Giles and Xander were
apparently in a heated discussion and didn’t notice when she slipped away.
Walking into the back room, Buffy could sense when the door closed behind
them and was taken by surprise when she found herself on the ground.

Quickly rolling over, she looked at Spike in confusion. His eyes were
serious as he spoke, “You gotta be ready, Slayer.”

Taking a deep breath, Buffy nodded, jumping to her feet and focusing on the
vampire as they circled each other. She ducked a punch and frowned when the
chip didn’t fire.

“No intent,” Spike said, reading the look in her eyes.

Buffy was confused that they seemed to be communicating with such ease. She
hardly even needed to watch his lips- she could almost look into his eyes
and understand what he was saying to her.

Spike shrugged out of his duster and threw it over the pommel horse before
turning his attention back to her. He saw the confusion in her eyes and
knew that this was new territory for her. He was definitely going to have
tread lightly since he wasn’t sure what was going through her mind.

The two began sparring, and Buffy found herself relaxing in spite of the
situation. Her mind kept flashing back to the past few years when she and
Spike had really been fighting with the intent to kill. It was definitely
more dangerous than the situation was now, but it was something familiar.
It was a time when she knew who she was and what she could handle. There
was never a question in her mind that she could face whatever was coming
next…not like now.
 

Chapter 5 – Competition


Buffy sat on the floor with a water bottle in her hand, leaning against the
door and watching Spike carefully as he sat across from her. He seemed to
be studying her as she rested from the vigorous training session. They had
been sparring for a good twenty minutes with only one interruption when
Giles had come in to check on them before Spike suggested that they take a
break, seeing that the young woman was getting a little winded.

“How are you holding up, Slayer?” Spike asked, his eyes showing true concern
as he looked at her.

Buffy shrugged, looking at the water bottle as she swirled the liquid
around, watching as it lapped at the plastic. “I’ve been better,” she
replied with a soft smile.

Buffy was constantly reminding herself that she was sitting with Spike-
notorious Slayer of Slayers and that he wasn’t a member of the Scoobies,
eagerly wondering how she was. She didn’t know why he cared how she was
doing, but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling happy that he did.

Buffy looked up to see Spike’s eyes still studying her carefully. With a
sigh, she gave him the answer he was looking for. “Some days are harder
than others.”

They sat in silence for another moment before Buffy spoke again.

“Where are the snide remarks tonight?” she asked quietly, looking at him
through her lashes, almost fearing his answer.

“Not as much fun if you can’t hear them,” he said with a smile.

Buffy had to smile, shaking her head as she bit her lip. “Leave it to a
vampire to not ‘tread lightly’ around me.”

“You don’t need someone to tread lightly, Slayer,” Spike replied, tilting
his head to look at her. “You need someone to remind you who you are.”

“Who I was, you mean.”

“No,” Spike said, shaking his head, making sure she was looking directly
into his eyes. “I mean who you are.”

The two blondes stared at each other for a long moment, each feeling the
connection that was passing between them.

“Your turn,” Spike said after a minute.

“For what?”

“I expected you to throw a fit when I walked in and you didn’t…much. Why not?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t treat me like I was glass,” Buffy replied with
a shrug. “Maybe that’s what I need.”

Spike was about to respond when he heard raised voices in the next room.
Tilting his head toward the wall, he listened for a minute before rolling his
eyes. “Bloody hell.” Looking back at the Slayer, he saw her confused look
as her brows furrowed. “Riley,” he said, clarifying it for her.

Spike frowned when she immediately seemed to shutdown. There was no sign of
the Slayer or even Buffy anymore- now she was back to being the meek little
girl who had to depend on everyone else.

“Slayer-“

Spike was soon cut off when the door of the training room flew open. He was
immediately on his feet as the teutonic boy-toy walked in.

“I’ll take it from here, Spike,” Riley said, his voice dripping with
hostility as he looked at the vampire.

“I don’t think so, mate.”

“Get away from my girlfriend.”

Buffy watched the display before jumping to her feet and stepping in between
the two men. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to admit it, but she was
worried that Spike might be getting into something he couldn’t handle with
the chip in his head. Considering he was the only one to make her feel like
her old self, she wasn’t about to give up that feeling. At this point, she
didn’t care if it was a vampire who was giving it to her.

“I think you might want to talk to the Watcher,” Spike said, knowing that
Buffy was watching the conversation and trying to comprehend as much as she
could.

“I don’t need to talk to anyone,” Riley said in such a soft tone that even
Spike’s vampiric hearing had trouble picking it up. He was also turned in a
way that Buffy couldn’t see him, and Spike could see the frustrated look on
her face.

“Ohhh,” he said in a drawl as a slow smile spread across his face. “You
don’t care that Giles wants me to help the Slayer?” he asked in a loud
voice, delighting in the fact that Riley’s eyes nearly doubled in size.
“You’d rather risk putting your girl in danger than have some evil, soulless
creature helping her?”

Buffy looked over at Riley, her mouth dropping open slightly before she saw
a movement out of the corner of her eye. Turning to see Giles in the
doorway, she clenched her hands into fists as the three men seemed to get
into a more heated argument. It appeared that it was Spike and Giles versus
Riley and that thought alone was enough to confuse her. Buffy tried to keep
up as best she could and noticed that Spike, unlike Riley, stayed turned
toward her the entire time so that she could see what he was saying.

“That’s enough!” she finally yelled in frustration, watching as all three
men looked at her. “Giles, do you want Spike to help me?”

“Yes,” the older man said with a nod.

“Do you think it will be beneficial?”

“I do.”

“Then it’s settled,” Buffy said, shooting a look at Riley. “Spike helps me
train and patrol…end of discussion.”

Buffy watched the hurt puppy dog look come over Riley’s features as he
nodded before turning and walking through the door, back into the main room.

Turning to Spike, she saw the gentle smile on his face that she was rarely
privileged to.

“We patrol tomorrow,” Spike said, looking into her eyes.

Once again, Buffy was amazed that she was able to look into his eyes and
understand him instead of studying his lips. She nodded in agreement.
“Meet me at my house.”

Spike gave her another smile and nodded as he walked out the door.

Buffy wasn’t ready to admit it, but she was relieved that Spike was helping
her. She finally felt like what she was facing was a hurdle that she had to
overcome and not some insurmountable object.

‘Maybe there’s a chance that I can be myself again.’


 

Chapter 6 – Regaining Confidence


Staring into her closet for several minutes, Buffy worried her bottom lip as
she tried to decide what to wear.

“It’s not like it’s a date…you’re just going patrolling, and then you’ll stop
by the Magic Box,” she muttered to herself. “And Riley will be there so you
want to look nice for him,” she said with a nod, putting an end to her own
disturbing conversation with herself.

Slipping into a pair of black leather pants and a red tank top, Buffy didn’t
even comprehend that she was wearing Spike’s favorite colors. Walking
downstairs, she said goodbye to her mom before walking out the door. She saw
Spike walking up the street and met him halfway.

“Slayer,” he said with a nod of greeting, letting his gaze peruse her body
and admire the soft curves that were barely concealed.

“Hi, Spike,” Buffy replied with a smile, surprising him since it looked
genuine.

The two started walking in silence, Buffy watching him out of the corner of
her eye in case he said something to her.

“How will this work?” she asked after a few minutes, looking over at him as
they walked.

“Patrolling? Stake through the heart, decapitation…I’d think it would be
fairly simple by now. You’ve been the Slayer for how long?”

Buffy swatted Spike on the shoulder, giving him a fake glare when he
chuckled.

“Alright, Slayer…you fight, I watch your back, that’s how it works.”

Buffy’s brows furrowed as she looked at him. “You’re not going to help me?”
she asked, apprehension creeping into her voice.

“If you need it,” Spike replied with a nod. “But I don’t think you’ll need
it.”

A smile seemed to light up Buffy’s face at the vote of confidence. They
continued to walk in silence until they reached a cemetery. Buffy turned
around to face Spike, leaning against a headstone and letting her eyes scan
the area. She kept expecting her vision to improve, but since she was the
Slayer, her eyesight didn’t need any improvement. Spike was the only
vampire she had been around since the incident, and he no longer set off her
‘spidey sense’. She didn’t really know what to think about that, but ever
since Willow’s spell had gone wrong the year before and they thought they
were engaged, something about Spike felt right to her.

“What are you thinking about, pet?” Spike asked, tilting his head to study
her, making sure that she could see him as he spoke.

Buffy smiled slightly. “Actually, I was thinking about Willow’s spell from
last year.”

Spike’s eyes widened. He had tried to put that day behind him…to put the
feel of her lips against his behind him. “And why are you thinking about
that?” Spike asked skeptically, suddenly finding his chipped black nail polish
very intriguing instead of looking in her eyes.

Buffy worried her bottom lip, debating about whether or not she should tell
him.

‘He does seem like he genuinely wants to help, Buff,’ she told herself.
‘What can it hurt…what’s the worst that can happen?’

“Ever since the spell, you’ve seemed different.”

“Different?” Spike asked, looking up at her in confusion.

“Not you,” Buffy clarified. “I just…it’s like I know it’s you, even if I
can’t see you…I feel you.”

Spike watched Buffy lower her head in embarrassment. Gently reaching
forward and tilting her chin up to look at him again, Spike studied her face
for a long moment before speaking. “Do you think it’s something left over
from the spell?”

“No,” Buffy said softly, shaking her head. “I don’t.”

Spike took several unneeded breaths as he looked into her eyes. He opened
his mouth to respond before gritting his teeth when he saw a movement over
her shoulder.

Buffy noticed the change in demeanor and turned to look behind her, seeing
the newly risen vampire. Instantly on her guard, she whipped out a stake
and focused all of her remaining senses on the impending fight.

Spike took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest and watching as the
Slayer ran toward the vamp and leveled him with a swift kick to the head.
He had to smile, loving how she moved when she fought. He noticed that her
form seemed a little off, but he attributed that to the fact that she had to
rely on her other senses.

Instinctively taking a step closer to her when she took a particularly hard
hit, Spike smiled when she spun around and thrust the stake into the vamp’s
chest without even breaking a sweat.

Wiping her hands and catching her breath as she turned to face Spike, Buffy
gave him a soft smile before tucking the stake into the back of her pants.

“How’d I do?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Spike shrugged indifferently and turned around to walk away.

“Hey!” Buffy cried indignantly as she caught up to him. “I think I did a
damn good job! That was probably a new record for vampire slayage,” she
said, watching him while they walked.

“If you believe that, then that’s all that matters,” Spike replied, biting
his tongue to keep from laughing at the expression of disbelief on her face.

“Oh, why am I even looking for your approval anyway,” she muttered huffily,
speeding up to walk ahead of him.

Spike chuckled as she tried to put some distance between them. Jogging to
catch up with her, he caught Buffy’s arm, turning her to face him. “You did
good, Slayer.”

“I know,” she answered, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout.
“Wouldn’t kill you to admit it a little faster,” she muttered, causing Spike
to smile again.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a playful tone, letting his bottom lip stick out in
a pout that was mocking hers. Buffy swatted at his shoulder for making fun
of her. “Hey!” Spike cried indignantly. “It’s not my fault you’re acting
like a baby.”

Buffy glared at him for a moment before her eyes seemed to light up.

“What?” Spike asked, dreading whatever she was about to say or do.

“I seem to remember a time when you liked my lip,” she replied, looking at
him with wide eyes and her lip poking out a little bit.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Spike groaned, closing his eyes as Buffy laughed.



 

Chapter 7 – Communication


Everyone turned as Buffy and Spike walked into the Magic Box laughing. The
sight was a little strange, to say the least, but the majority of the gang
was so relieved to see a smile on the young woman’s face that the vampire
at her side could be overlooked.

Buffy gently slapped his arm as they walked toward the rest of the group,
playfully scolding him for whatever it was that he’d said before she
separated from him to take a seat next to Riley.

Her attention was soon drawn to her boyfriend when he grabbed her arm to get
her attention. She didn’t appreciate being manhandled when he could have
just tapped her on the shoulder, but she kept her mouth shut as she turned
to look at him.

“You two seem cozy.”

Since no one turned around, Buffy assumed that he’d mouthed the words to
her. She glanced up and saw Willow and Tara talking to Spike who was
sitting on the counter next to the cash register. For his part, he seemed
interested in whatever they were saying, giving them each a polite smile and
nodding in agreement with what they were talking about.

“I wouldn’t call it that,” Buffy replied, noticing that Spike glanced at her
when he heard her voice. She didn’t hold his gaze very long, feeling
Riley’s eyes on her. “Where’s Giles?” she asked the gang.

Xander and Anya looked up from their conversation. “He’s running late,”
Xander said.

“Giles is running late?” Buffy asked in disbelief.

“Something about getting new weapons for you to train with,” Willow said,
gently touching Buffy’s arm so they were looking at each other.

Buffy was a little surprised but nodded and dropped back into her chair,
noticing Spike’s eyes were still on her. Normally this would unnerve her,
having a vampire watching her every move, but the look that he was giving
her only put her at ease. That is…until Riley practically jerked her out of
her chair and planted her in his lap.

“Riley, what are you doing?” Buffy asked, looking at him when she felt his
arms band around her waist in a tight grip.

“Just wanted to hold my girl,” Riley said, barely looking at her and making
it even harder to understand him as he nuzzled her neck.

Buffy tensed, her shoulder involuntarily rising to ward off his advances,
but he obviously wasn’t paying attention.

Spike watched the interaction with interest. It was obvious that Buffy
would rather be anywhere else at that moment, but apparently Captain
Cardboard wasn’t concerned with the woman in his arms. At least, if the
looks he was shooting toward Spike were any indication, he was more
concerned with marking his territory.

Buffy looked up, meeting Spike’s eyes, and a silent connection seemed to pass
through them. She realized in that moment that spending time with Spike
wasn’t as strange as she would have expected. He made her feel more at ease
than her friends did, even when she was sitting in a room that was full of
the people who were supposed to support her. Half of them seemed to have
trouble remembering to even look at her when they spoke, but Spike never had
that problem.

A few days ago, Buffy would have eagerly been first in line to throw a punch
or a stake at him. But now…things were different. In less than twenty-four
hours, the blonde vampire had blended into her life with such ease that it
felt like he was the only person she needed to get through her latest
problem, even if it was a huge one. Which was lucky, considering no one
else besides Giles was interested in helping her get through this- they were
all too concerned with taking care of her. She was the Slayer- she didn’t
want comfort, she wanted support.

Spike studied her carefully, seeing the tension in her muscles and the
distress in her eyes. Something was changing whenever he looked at the
Slayer. To begin with, she wasn’t just ‘the Slayer’ anymore. Now, she was
turning into ‘Buffy’, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. The only
reason he agreed to help her was for the money that he was promised.
Helping her was for his own benefit, and that was it…at least, that’s what he
kept telling himself.

He realized in that moment that it ran beyond his monetary gain. He would
be a fool not to recognize that there was some connection that seemed to be
drawing him closer to her. It seemed to be drawing them closer to each
other, and the idea that it wasn’t just a one-sided feeling filled Spike with
a certain amount of hope that he wasn’t ready to think about.

‘I don’t want to be her protector,’ he thought, giving her a soft smile when
her eyes met his, and she visibly relaxed from the look they shared. ‘That’s
what Peaches is for.’

No, Spike wanted to help her. He wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone.
He saw Riley shoot him another look, tightening his hold on the woman in his
arms. Spike couldn’t help the smirk on his face when Buffy tensed up even
more, subtly trying to pull away from him.

She gave Spike a look before turning her gaze toward the door of the
training room. Spike nodded almost imperceptibly as he stood up and
shrugged out of his duster. Laying it across the counter, he disappeared
into the back room without a word.

Buffy disentangled herself from her boyfriend, suddenly feeling defensive
when all eyes turned toward her.

“Spike and I are going to spar until Giles gets here,” she said with a
dismissive shrug.

Buffy noticed that everyone was watching Riley, and she turned to look at him
in time to see him finish whatever he was saying.

“I’m deaf, Riley,” she said with a hard edge to her voice as her anger got
the best of her. “I can’t hear you when my back is to you…I can’t hear you
no matter which way my back is facing, but if you want to talk, I’m going to
have to be looking directly at you. Now, what were you saying?”

“I was asking when you two decided to go sparring?”

The contempt was obvious as he looked toward the door of the training room,
and Buffy was suddenly glad that she couldn’t hear him. The hostility was
probably dripping from his voice.

“Just now,” she replied.

Willow touched her arm, drawing her attention away from Riley. “But you
didn’t say anything.”

“That’s right,” Buffy replied, trying to remind herself that she wasn’t mad
at Willow before she turned back to Riley. “In less than a day, the one
person in this world who I would expect to be gloating about the fact that I
got myself into an incurable situation has learned how to communicate with
me. Not just talk to me,” she emphasized. “But communicate.”

Everyone watched in shock as Buffy disappeared to the back of the shop and
slammed the door behind her.



 

Chapter 8 – Hearing and Listening


Spike looked up at the sound of the door slamming to see an enraged Slayer
pacing in front of him. Walking over to stand in front of her, she stopped
and looked up at him.

Buffy’s first instinct was to throw a solid punch to his nose before
reminding herself that this was the man who was trying to help her. Taking
a deep breath, she stared into his eyes, noticing for the first time just
how blue they were.

“Are you okay?” he asked, studying her carefully.

“I’m fine,” she replied, flexing her shoulders, unconsciously trying to
soothe the tension that Riley had caused.

“You’re not fine,” Spike said, walking behind her and gently resting his
hands on her shoulders.

Buffy tensed for a brief moment before realizing what he was doing. Spike
smiled when he heard the soft sigh that escaped her lips as she relaxed
against his touch. Her body hummed as his hands worked the tight knots in
her back.

“Mmmm…why have I never been privileged to this before now?”

“I guess we’ve never had the right moment.”

His whispered words were breathed in her ear, and Buffy nearly jumped away
when she realized what he’d said. She couldn’t hear him, she couldn’t see
his lips, but she still understood him.

Chills ran up and down her spine as her eyes widened, unsure of what was
happening between them.

“Spike?” she whispered, feeling his hands pause before he turned her
around.

“What is it, pet?”

“What’s happening?”

Spike tilted his head to stare at her, unsure of what she was asking.

“Th-there’s something going on…between us,” she whispered, suddenly very
unsure of herself. “It’s just…I know what you’re trying to say to me, and
you don’t even have to look at me.”

”You’re getting your hearing back?”

“No,” Buffy replied, shaking her head. “But I can understand you…only you.”

Spike was about to respond when the door to the training room opened and
Giles walked in. Spike suppressed a growl when he saw Riley looking into
the room, apparently not trusting the woman he claimed to love. That
thought alone put a smile on Spike’s face.

‘The ponce obviously thinks I’m a threat to his so-called perfect
relationship.’

“We’re ready,” Giles said, looking between the two blondes.

Spike nodded, shooting a look at Buffy and seeing her closed-off expression.

“We’ll talk later,” he mouthed to her, giving her a soft smile when she
nodded.

Gently putting his hand on the small of her back, they followed Giles into
the main room of the shop. He let his hand fall back to his side when they
approached the table, feeling a strange sense of loss that he wasn’t
touching her anymore.

Walking back to resume his spot on the counter, Spike was taken by surprise
when Buffy bypassed her friends and walked over to stand next to him,
casually leaning against the glass. He saw the surprised look on everyone’s
face and the hateful look that Riley was sending his way, but he chose to
ignore him.

“Well,” Giles began, making sure to face Buffy. “I know it’s only been a
day, but how is the training going?”

Buffy and Spike exchanged a look before turning their attention back to the
Watcher.

“Good,” Buffy said with a nod. “Really good.”

“Can I just say that I don’t like this,” Xander said, surprising everyone-
not with his opinion, but with the fact that he’d kept his mouth shut for
almost a full day.

Buffy watched as the conversation seemed to escalate into a heated argument
as her friends began talking quickly. She could only pick up every other
word that Xander was saying, but for once, she was glad she was deaf. There
had been a very recent time when she didn’t particularly care for Spike
either, but Xander had such an unnatural hatred of the vampire that it was
bordering on ridiculous.

‘You’d think someone dating an ex-vengeance demon would be a little more
open-minded.’

Buffy saw Riley join in the fight, obviously agreeing with whatever Xander
was saying. Giles appeared to be defending his decision that Spike was the
best choice to help Buffy. Willow and Tara were trying to keep everyone
calm and failing miserably as Anya said something that Buffy didn’t pay
attention to. Knowing Anya, it had nothing to do with the argument and more
to do with herself.

The argument seemed to escalate, and Spike kept a careful eye on the Slayer,
seeing her eyes dart around the room, trying to understand what everyone was
saying.

Glancing up at him, Spike saw the despair in her eyes. She was no longer
connected with the group, and it was affecting her more than she was letting
on. If her friends had taken a few moments to talk to her or even look at
her, they would have seen it, too, but they were all too involved in their own
lives and petty arguments.

Trying one more time to understand what everyone was saying, Buffy fought
the tears in her eyes as she pushed away from the counter and ran into the
back room, slamming the door behind her.

Spike was immediately off the counter and walking toward the door, ignoring
how quiet everyone in the room had suddenly become.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Riley asked, catching up to Spike and
spinning the vampire around to face him.

“Where do you think?” Spike responded with venom in his voice.

“I’m her boyfriend. I’ll be the one to check on her.”

“I don’t think so, mate,” Spike replied, practically spitting out the words.
“You have no idea what she’s going through, and you’ll just make it worse.”

“Oh, and you can make it better?” he asked sarcastically

“Yes.”

The confidence in his voice seemed to stun everyone as Spike turned toward
the door again. He felt the other man grab his shoulders and throw him
against the wall. Vamping out, Spike whirled around with a snarl and pinned
Riley to the wall, surprising everyone in the room.

“Spike.”

He looked up at the sound of his name, letting his human mask fall into
place as he looked at Giles. Spike stepped away as Riley searched for a
stake.

“What happened to the chip?” Riley asked, his eyes filled with hatred.

“Are you honestly telling me that I hurt you?” Spike asked, talking to the
other man as if he was the stupidest person he’d ever met. Which in fact…

“I shoved you into a wall. It’s not like I tried to snap your neck.”

That thought alone was enough to nearly bring a smile to his face. Turning
back to the door, everyone began talking at once as Spike reached for the
doorknob. Most were questioning whether it should be Spike that went in or
one of her close friends.

“Don’t you get it?!” Spike yelled, growing more frustrated with the group
before gesturing toward the closed door. “Can you not see what she’s going
through? What you’re putting her through? You’re supposed to be her
friends, but you haven’t even made the effort to understand what she might
be feeling. She may be the one who’s deaf, but you lot are the ones who
can’t hear!”

 

Chapter 9 – Helpless


Spike quietly shut the door behind him when he entered the training room.
Not that it mattered since he could slam it and it wouldn’t have affected
her. He saw Buffy sitting on the pommel horse, letting her legs swing
lightly as she looked down at her hands. He patiently waited by the door
until she noticed him, not wanting to scare her.

“Don’t hover by the door, Spike. Come on in.”

He had to smile at the fact that she didn’t even need to look up to know
that it was him. Spike slowly walked across the room until he was standing
in front of her. Buffy calmly raised her eyes to his, and Spike felt his
heart clench at the unshed tears that were glistening in her eyes.

“How’re you holdin’ up, Slayer?” Spike asked, letting his hand come up
without thinking and gently caressing her cheek.

Buffy unconsciously closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. His cool
fingers ghosted over her skin until she was practically trembling at his
touch.

Opening her eyes after a moment, she felt herself relax even more when she
looked into his eyes and saw nothing but compassion and concern. “Do you
want the truth or the answer that they want?” she asked, gesturing to her
unseen friends on the other side of the closed door.

“Why don’t we give the truth a shot,” he replied with a gentle smile as he
reluctantly pulled his hand away and sat down next to her.

“I hate this,” Buffy whispered, looking down at the floor as she battled
tears. “I hate that everyone looks at me like I’m going to crack under the
pressure. I hate feeling helpless.”

Buffy gasped when she suddenly felt herself propelled backwards, landing
with a thud on the mats and pinned down by a fully vamped out and snarling
Spike. Kicking him off of her, she felt her heart race as she straddled
him, one hand on his throat to hold him in place, the other on his chest.

Spike’s human face fell back into place as he looked at her. Panting
heavily from the surprise of the moment, Buffy looked at him as if she’d
been betrayed.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, her eyes filled with pain that the one
person she thought she could trust had turned on her.

Spike calmly extracted her hand from around his throat and slowly brought it
to his lips, leaving a tender kiss on the palm. “You’re not helpless.”

Buffy’s lips parted in comprehension as she looked into his eyes, seeing
what he was trying to do. Taking several deep breaths, she gave him a soft
smile. “You’re sneaky.”

“Vampire,” he said as an explanation.

“Sneaky vampire,” she said with a smile that Spike returned.

The mood noticeably changed as their smiles faded. Buffy’s hand began
tingling where it was still resting on Spike’s chest. She could feel the
hard muscles beneath her fingertips and sat up, subtly dragging her hand
down his chest and along his abs.

Spike’s eyes widened as she moved, feeling the familiar stirring in his
groin when her body brushed against it. He hurriedly sat up, nearly pushing
Buffy off of him while he climbed to his feet.

A curious look crossed her features, but she didn’t push the issue. At this
point, she was more eager to understand what was mentally going on between
them. If there was something physical happening, it would have to wait…and
Buffy wasn’t sure if she was ready to admit that there was something
physically.

“Spike-“

Buffy was cut off when Spike gently touched her arm and gestured to the
door. She turned around and saw Giles looking frantic as he jogged toward
her.

“It’s Riley…he’s collapsed.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she looked back and forth between the two men
before she turned and ran out of the room.

* * * * *

Spike waited with the rest of the Scoobies in the waiting room of Sunnydale
General. He didn’t really care what happened to Captain Cardboard, but he
knew that Buffy wanted him there. She hadn’t asked him, but…he knew it.

Spike hadn’t seen Buffy since she’d disappeared with Giles in tow a few
hours before, but he wanted to wait as long as possible, hoping to see that
she was holding up alright.

Sitting next to the window, he knew he would have to leave soon. The sun
was about to rise, and he definitely didn’t want to be on the receiving end
of it.

“Riley’s going to be okay.”

Spike’s head snapped around when he heard Buffy’s voice. She was standing
next to Giles, and she looked exhausted. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy,
and her shoulders were tense. Spike wanted nothing more than to take her in
his arms and offer whatever comfort she would take, but he knew that it
wouldn’t be a wise idea with her friends practically standing guard around
her. They had ignored Spike over the past few hours, but that didn’t mean
they had all accepted him.

“Giles was able to get through to the Initiative and they sent a doctor…he
had surgery and he’s going to be fine.”

Spike slipped out of the room as her friends enveloped Buffy in a group hug.

Lighting a cigarette before he was even out of the hospital, he took comfort
in the nicotine that flowed through his dead lungs.

“Spike!”

Turning around at the sound of her voice, Spike frowned when he saw her
running towards him.

“What’s wrong, Slayer?”

Instead of answering, Buffy ran up to him and threw her arms around his
neck, pulling him to her for a warm hug.

“Thank you for being here,” she whispered into his leather-clad shoulder as
his arms wrapped around her waist.

Breathing in her scent, Spike’s eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of holding
her close.

“I know you don’t like Riley, but thank you for staying.”

Reluctantly, Spike pulled away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as
he gave her a soft smile. “Anytime you need me, Slayer, you know where to
find me.”

Buffy smiled, looking downward as a faint blush came across her cheeks. “We
do need to figure out what’s happening,” she whispered.

“I know.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his after he spoke. “How are you doing that?”

“Like you said, pet,” he replied with another smile. “We’ll figure it out.”



 

Chapter 10 – Houseguest


Sitting in his chair with a tall glass of blood and vodka, Spike stared at
the TV screen without really seeing it. Something was happening to him.
Every spare minute of the day, he was thinking of the Slayer…and none of
those thoughts involved her painful death.

A loud crash sounded through the crypt, and Spike was immediately on his
feet. He suppressed the sudden, intense desire to roll his eyes when he saw
Harmony run into the crypt.

“You have to help me!” she cried in an overly dramatic fashion, bracing her
hands against the flat surface of the door and staring at Spike.

“And why is that?” Spike asked with a sigh.

“My minions are after me!”

Spike tried to suppress the smile as his lips quirked in response. Clearing
his throat before he spoke, he gave Harmony a hard look. “And why should I
help you, pet?”

“Because you’re my Blondie Bear,” she replied as if it was the most natural
explanation in the world.

“Let’s get one thing straight, Harm. I am not your anything. You can stay
here, but if your so-called ‘minions’ show up, don’t expect me to help you.”

“You would just let them kill me?” Harmony asked with a pout that did
nothing for him.

Rolling his eyes, Spike sighed. “Not if you didn’t deserve it…happy?”

“Very,” she replied, sauntering up to him and planting a kiss on his cheek.

* * * * *

“Hey,” Buffy said with a soft smile as Riley began to wake up.

“What happened?” he asked with a groggy voice, looking around the room in
confusion.

“You collapsed,” she said quietly. “The stuff that the Initiative pumped
into you apparently started to backfire. Giles was able to get in touch
with someone, and they sent one of their doctors to operate.”

“So…I’m not strong anymore?”

Buffy took his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze in a silent show of
support.

“Riley, of course you’re strong. You’re just not Superboy anymore.”

“There was nothing wrong with me, Buffy,” he replied, angrily pulling his
hand away from hers. “I was more powerful than I've ever been. Most people
would kill to feel like that.”

“Yeah, and that feeling was going to kill you. Riley, your body was not
built for that kind of strength-“

“I could have handled it,” he said in a sulking voice that Buffy couldn’t
hear. “This was my deal, Buffy, so just…back off.”

Buffy looked at him with the hurt evident in her eyes. She turned to walk
out of the room, jumping slightly when she felt his hand on her arm.

“I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want to be Mr. Joe Normal. I liked being the
super-guy.”

“And it’s not enough for you to be Joe Normal?”

“It's not enough for you,” he emphasized, pointing to her.

“What?” Buffy asked in disbelief. “I started dating you when I thought
that’s who you were. Did you conveniently block that out? I liked ‘Joe’.”

“Yeah, right,” Riley replied with a scoff.

“What are you saying?” Buffy asked in confusion.

“Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn't exactly a civilian.”

“So that's what this is about? You would be willing to die over some macho
pissing contest?”

“It's not about him. It's about us.”

“What?”

“You're getting stronger everyday, more powerful,” Riley clarified. “I can't
touch you. Everyday, you're just…a little further out of my reach.”

“So you have this all figured out?” she asked angrily. “I'm bailing because
you're not in the super club?”

“It's human nature.”

“Don't Psych 101 me,” she said, shaking her head. “Not now. Not after
everything that…do you think that I spent the last year with you because you
had super powers? If that's what I wanted, then I'd be dating Spike.”

Her eyes widened when she realized what she said…and the fact that it didn’t
bother her as much as it should have.

“I need to go.”

Riley caught her arm, pulling her back toward him. “I’m sorry,” he said,
looking into her eyes. “I should have never doubted you.”

Buffy nodded, leaning forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll stop
by later,” she said softly.

Riley nodded, trying to pull her closer for another kiss, but she pretended
not to recognize his advances and pulled away.

“Get some rest.”

* * * * *

Pushing open the door to his crypt, Buffy looked around the top level.

“Spike?” she called softly, keeping an eye on the shadows. The light
disappeared as the door closed behind her, and Buffy was suddenly feeling
uneasy. The few tense seconds that she waited for her eyes to adjust to the
darkened interior left an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She got the distinct impression that she wasn’t alone, and being deaf and
nearly blind was too much for her as she turned back to the door.

Feeling a hand on her arm, Buffy swung around and felt her punch blocked.
Looking up, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Spike staring at her
in concern.

“What’s wrong, Slayer?”

“N-nothing.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing her.

“I was just getting the feeling that there was another vampire here, and it
was hard to see…”

Buffy trailed off when she saw a blonde head appear from the lower level.

“Harmony?”

Spike turned and clenched his jaw when he saw the other woman. Harmony
froze when she saw the Slayer standing by the door before rushing back down the ladder.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Buffy asked with an edge to her voice.

“No,” Spike replied, looking into her eyes. “She just needed a place to
stay for a day or two.”

“And your place was the logical choice?” Buffy asked, hating the jealousy
that was creeping into her voice. She couldn’t even hear it, but she knew
it was there.

“It’s just for a couple of days.”

Buffy didn’t say anything as she turned toward the door. She stopped when
she felt Spike’s hand cover hers.

“Why did you stop by?” he asked softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

“It’s not important,” she replied in a distant voice before looking over his
shoulder at the ladder. “If she kills anyone…”

“I’ll stake her myself,” Spike replied honestly.

Buffy looked at him in surprise. “You will?”

Spike nodded, feeling a little better when he saw a genuine smile briefly
appear on her lips.

“I’ll see you later,” she murmured, disappearing into the sunlight.

Spike stared at the door for a long moment after she disappeared. Something
felt different, and he couldn’t figure out what it was.





Chapter 11 – What’s Happening?


A/N My dad has been sweet enough to let me borrow his laptop while mine is being fixed :-) Which means updates should be regular. Allison is going to be updating Fireworks until I get my other computer back, so I don’t have to save so much to his computer. It’s still being continued, it just won’t be updated at the exact time as this story. Hope you like the chapter :-)



Slowly walking into the hospital room, Buffy felt despondent. She put a
bright smile on her face when Riley looked at her, but if he had been paying
attention, it was obviously fake. Fortunately, Riley wasn’t one to pay much
attention to her feelings and expressions. He took things at face value, and
that was proving to be beneficial at that moment.

‘And yet one more difference between him and Spike,’ Buffy thought. ‘And
one more point in the Spike column…wait…there are no points, and especially
no points for a vampire versus your boyfriend!’ she mentally chastised
herself.

“How are you?” Buffy asked, slowly approaching the bed, nervously tucking a
strand of hair behind her ear. She had decided to come back and check on
him since she felt guilty about leaving him to go see Spike…but not guilty
enough to stay very long.

“I’m better,” Riley replied, giving her a weak smile.

“Glad to hear it,” she said, letting her fingertips graze over his hand
before entwining it with his. “And see…still touchable.”

Riley nodded, relaxing at her touch. “Give me a week or so, and I’ll take
full advantage of that fact.”

Why did that phrase not offer the comfort it should have?

“I just wanted to check on you before I head home.”

“You’re leaving?” he asked, his voice edged with disappointment.

“I kind of need some sleep,” Buffy replied, feeling a little annoyed that he
wouldn’t know this. ‘Give him a break, Summers. He just had surgery and
probably isn’t feeling like himself.'

“You’ve probably been up all night, haven’t you?” he asked, not bothering to
wait for an answer. “Where’d you go?”

‘To try and figure out why I’m seeking comfort from a man who used to be my
enemy instead of staying here with you.’

“I had to get something to eat,” she said with a nod as if she was
convincing herself of the fact. “You had me so worried- I couldn’t eat
anything while you were in surgery.”

‘And yet another lie to add to the Buffy Fib Chart.’

“I’m sorry,” Riley said, pulling her down to the bed, serving to fuel
Buffy’s annoyance that he didn’t even acknowledge that she wanted to leave.

“Why don’t you stay? Get some rest with me.”

“Riley, I really don’t think I’ll be able to sleep with you taking up the
bed.”

“So sleep on top of me…I won’t mind,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks for the offer, but my bed is calling me.”

“Oh, alright,” Riley said, pouting.

Buffy let him kiss her softly, but it didn’t offer anything she needed.
Jumping up from the bed as if she’d been burned, she backed toward the door.
“I’ll check on you later, okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Without waiting for a response, Buffy was out the door. She felt like she
was being smothered when she was alone in a room with him. As if there was
a crushing weight on her chest.

‘Even in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, he still manages to tower
over me with that overprotective vibe.’

And it wasn’t anything he said. He just wanted too much from her, and Buffy
wasn’t ready to give him that much.

* * * * *

Lying in her bed, Buffy inhaled and exhaled sharply, trying to get over the
need of going to Spike. She felt like she’d been tossing and turning for
hours, and her thoughts kept turning back to the blonde vampire. Incessantly
making her want to seek some much-needed comfort from him. But most of all,
she was trying not to think of the other woman staying with him…alone and
possibly in his bed.

Rolling onto her side, she buried her face in her pillow, gasping in
surprise when she felt a strong arm gently wrap around her waist, pulling
her against a hard and muscular body.

“It’s alright, luv…I’m here,” he whispered as if he knew what she was
thinking. She shivered when she felt his breath tickling the bare skin of
her shoulder. “I’ve got you.”

Buffy practically melted against him. She’d never felt this amount of
relief before, and it was wonderful to let herself be a girl and not the
Slayer for a few precious minutes. To let him take care of her and give her
what she needed.

“What are you doing here?”

“You needed me,” he murmured against her skin.

“I’ve always needed you,” Buffy whispered, turning to look at him.

She reached up, gently brushing a curl off his forehead and smiling when
Spike leaned into her touch, closing his eyes at the soothing gesture.

“Something’s happening to me, Buffy,” he said after a moment, opening his
eyes to look at her.

“I know,” she said softly. “It’s happening to me, too.”

“I want to be with you,” Spike whispered, his lips brushing against hers as
he spoke. The soft caress left her trembling, wanting more. “I’ve wanted
you from the first moment I saw you.”

Buffy moved so that she was laying underneath him, thrilled at the power
that he had over her. “I want you,” she whispered, pulling him down to her,
feeling her pulse race with excitement when his lips ran over her neck. “I
want you so much.”

* * * * *

With a gasp, Buffy sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to her chest and
breathing heavily. Turning to look out the window, she saw that the sun was
setting. With a shaky breath, Buffy closed her eyes, trying to regulate her
breathing. Memories of the dream haunted her and left her with an
undeniable sense of loss when she realized that he wasn’t there with her.

“What’s happening to me?”

* * * * *

Spike’s eyes slowly opened as the sun set. Images came back to him as he
began looking around. He felt panic course through his body when he
realized he was alone.

“Where is she?” he asked himself, looking around frantically. “Where’s
Buffy?”

It took him a moment to realize that it had just been a dream. Bringing his
legs up to his chest, Spike let his head fall into his hands. Everything
felt so real- her touch, her willingness to have him close to her, the
gentle feel of his lips barely brushing against hers…the way her body felt
underneath his as she admitted that she wanted him.

‘This isn’t right,’ Spike thought to himself. ‘She’s the Slayer and you’re
a vampire. It doesn’t work this way.’

With a sigh, Spike raised his eyes to stare at the wall of his crypt.

“Or maybe this is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.”
 

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