Chapter 17:

By the time Buffy was finished talking, she was sobbing quietly against Spike's chest. He didn't know exactly what to say to sooth her cries. Even if he did know what to say, he didn't think that it would make much of a difference.

" He used me, Will!! I was just a goodbye fuck!" cried Buffy. Her face was streaked with tears and she couldn't bring herself to meet Spike's eyes.
" It's okay, luv." Spike soothed but it was as if she hadn't heard him.
" He didn't even have the balls to say goodbye properly. I got a letter from him about month after he left. In in it, he told how good everything was going and how much he loved his new job." pause. " Not once did he ask if I was okay or if I needed anything. He didn't even say that he was sorry. It's as if none of it mattered to him." she finished with a chocked sob.

Spike was torn. A huge part of him wanted to track Angel down and beat him into a bloody pulp but the other part of him had to comfort Buffy. She needed him and he was gonna be there for her into her time of need. He couldn't stand to see her in pain.

" What's wrong with me? Why is it that men are always trying to get as far away from me as humanly possible?" questioned Buffy as she pulled back a little from his chest.
" That's not true, luv." Spike argued. Buffy was unlike any woman that he had ever known.
" Yes it is! I mean, first my dad left. He said it was cuz him and my mom grew apart but I knew that it was me. Then Angel bolted for New York. I gave him my heart, body, and soul but he just threw me away like I was yesterday's trash. Finally, there's Riley-"
"Who's Riley?" Spike asked caught off guard by the mention of an unfamiliar name. Buffy had never talked about him before.
" He was my boyfriend while I stay in LA and like the men before him, he left. I couldn't be the girlfriend that he wanted me to be so he left." she answered softly. The tears just kept on coming.
" Baby, I'm so sorry!" Spike pulled her to him for another hug and Buffy sobbed into his chest once more. Suddenly, Spike knew what to say. He wasn't sure that it'd easy her pain but the least thing he could do is try. " Listen to me Buffy:" brief pause until she looked up at him expectantly. " There is nothing wrong with you, luv."
" But-"
" Just. Listen." he commanded gently. Buffy shut her mouth. " You...are the most amazing woman that I have ever met. You beautiful, smart and I don't think I know anyone with as big of a heart as you. You're strong and funny." Spike lifted one of his hands to her face and cupped her cheek and Buffy instantly leaned into his touch. " A man would have to be deaf, dumb, blind and mentally unstable to not see how perfect you are. Angel, your dad, that wanker Riley and any other sod that left you all need their heads examined if they think that life without you is bearable. They're crazy if they think that you weren't worth the effort."

With every word that was spoken, Buffy tears fell in gallons but it wasn't because she was sad. Not anymore. No one had ever said any of the things that Spike was saying to her right now. No one had ever made her feel so special

So beautiful.

So loved.

" Will-" Buffy interjected but was cut off.
" Any man would be lucky to have you and if those gits couldn't see it....to hell with him. You're better off." He moved his hand from Buffy's cheek and placed it under her chin which guided her face closer to his. They were practically breathing one another's air. " But sweetheart I promise you; one day you're gonna meet someone who'll worship the bloody ground that you walk on. He's gonna spend every waking hour loving you until the end of forever."
" And you know all this because..." she questioned softly as she looked deep into his dark blue orbs.
" Because a woman like you doesn't deserve to be alone. The right man will come along and I can guarantee that when he does, you'll be stuck with him. He's not going anywhere." Spike answered.

Buffy gazed at him adoringly and wondered if it was possible to love someone too much because her feelings for him were going through the roof. She used her fingertips to lightly trace his face, as if she was memorizing every feature.

* He truly is beautiful. There's no one like him."

Buffy couldn't take it anymore. She had to taste his lips. She had to feel him.


Too bad the weather had other plans...

It began to rain.

***************************************************************************

 

Chapter 18:

* Is someone trying to tell me something?? How come every time I get close enough to put the moves on Will, someone or something interrupts us? Oh crap! My hair's getting wet!!* Buffy thought as she and Spike ran through the rain until they reached his car.

Buffy's hand was held tightly in Spike's as if she would disappear if he let go. Spike was very aware of what was about to happen if Mother nature hadn't stepped in.

* Is it me or are do we get interrupted every time things start to get good? I don't think I can take much more of this!* he thought.

Every part of her was soaking wet. Spike not to let his eyes roam over her soaked form but it was impossible to keep his eyes off of her. Beads of water dripped down her face, Her hair clung to various areas of her face and neck, and her breathing was almost erotic. Luckily, spike was cover by his leather duster. His jeans were becoming very uncomfortable.

Little did Spike now that Buffy was having a hard time keeping her cool as well. There Spike was dripping wet, smelling of rain, leather and smoke. He surrounded her and filled everyone of her senses. His once slicked back hair was in a mess of unruly damp curls and trickles of water rolled down his face in the most sexy way. Buffy mouth was becoming very dry. She found herself wounding what it would be like to lick every....drip...of water off every...inch...of his body.

* Please let us make it home before I loose control and jump his bones!* Buffy's mind begged. If only she knew that spike was facing the same struggle.

***************************************************************************

The ride home was filled with lots built up sexual tension. Nothing was said but heated, desire-filled glances were exchanged. Neither one of them noticed though. It began to pour even harder once they made it inside the apartment. Spike tried turning on the living room lights but they wouldn't come on.

" Shit!" he growled. Buffy looked at him worried.
" What's wrong?" she questioned.
" The storm must have knocked out the power. I'm gonna get some candles. Stay right here. I don't want you to hurt yourself running into anything." Spike suggested.
" Okay." agreed Buffy.

Spike made his way to the hallway closet, occasionally bumping into things along the way. When he finally made it there, he grabbed the candles from their place on the top shelf and a few towels for him and Buffy to dry off with. With his light also in hand, Spike began to light the candles around the living room area.

The first few candles illuminated the room in a orange glow. He noticed that Buffy had removed her jacket and was trying to dry herself off with it. She was wearing a sleeveless white top and Spike could tell that she wasn't wearing a bra. He could see her nipples through her shirt.

* Oh fuck! She's trying to kill me.*

" I don't think that's gonna work, luv. You're just gonna spread the water all over you body even more than it already is." After he finished with the last of the candles, he walked over to her and wrapped her a big, white towel. " Here. Use this." Spike began rubbing her shoulders, hoping that she would warm up at his gesture. " You're trembling."
" I'm cold but don't worry about me. What about you? You're soaked, Will." Buffy observed. Spike shrugged it off and started to move away from her.
" I'm fine, pet."
" At least let me help you take your shirt off." Buffy grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.
" Buffy, luv, you don't have to-" Spike protested but Buffy was already removing his duster.

Spike was wearing a blood red dress shirt with a black t-shirt underneath it. Buffy quickly took off the red shirt with little help from Spike and dropped it to the floor. When it came to removing his black t-shirt, Buffy hesitated a little. Eventually, she sobered up and started pulling it from his pants and lifting it over his head ever so slowly.

Spike stood absolutely still. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Buffy was standing there undressing him. Even though it was to only get him out of his wet clothes, Spike still found it hard to keep his legs from buckling at her lightest touches against his skin.

Once his shirt was gone, Buffy's breath caught in her throat. He was truly a work of art. His chiseled abs and muscular chest was amazing. Buffy tried not to drool over the sight of him but it was no use. He looked good without his shirt off.

* I wonder what he would look like with the rest of his clothes off."

To prevent himself from falling on his ass, Spike grabbed the towel and began patting her dry. Buffy noticed the other towel and did the same for him.

Big mistake!!

With every touch, they would brush skin upon skin. Although it didn't last longer than a few seconds, it was more than enough time to send heated shivers down their spines. A couple of stray hairs fell in Buffy's face and Spike instantly moved his hand to tuck it behind her ear but instead of going back to drying her off, his hand lingered there a moment too long. Buffy leaned into his touch and stopped her movements. She place her hand over the one that touched her face and took a step closer to him. Before either of them knew what was happening, their lips.

As soon as their lips met, the towels were forgotten and all that mattered was each other. The kiss started off hesitant at first. Then once they both realized that neither one of them was gonna pull way, the kiss became more passionate. Spike pulled Buffy wet flesh against his, wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and deepened the kiss. Buffy moaned into his mouth. This seemed to urge Spike on and he cupped her bottom in his hands lifted her up off the floor. Buffy eagerly wrapped her legs around his waist and gasped at how close she was to his jean-covered erection.

Buffy didn't even notice when she was being gently laid down on the couch until she felt the soft cushions underneath her her. Spike began trailing kissing along her jaw-line and neck.

" Oh, Will!" she whimpered. Spike's tongue began to tease that sensitive spot behind her ear which resulted in another gasp.

Spike was loosing all control of his emotions and actions. A small part of him knew that this was wrong. Buffy was his roommate and friend. He cared about her. the part that was in love with her and that wanted her badly, however, won the battle and Spike continued with his worshiping of her body.

" God, Buffy. You're amazing!" he purred into her ear. Her fingers were fisted into his hair. He was slowly grinding his hard-on into her denim-clad center.
" Too many clothes." she complained and started to undo his belt buckle to get his pants off. Spike helped her out of her shirt. His mouth watered at the sight that he was met with.
" Bloody hell, you're beautiful." he replied huskily. he brought his head down to her left breast and kissed lightly around her nipple before taking it entirely into his mouth. Buffy stopped her movements on taking off his pants and clutched his head to her in a desperate attempt to keep him where he was. Spike, however, had other plans. " Too many clothes." he reminded and undid her pants.

Buffy also returned to her task of clothing removal. In less than 15 seconds, both of them were undressed. Buffy looked down between them and widened her eyes in shock at how big he was. She had only been with Angel so technically she was still new at this. Of course, she had seen Riley naked a few times but that was it. Neither one of them held a candle to Spike.

"Like what you see, luv?" Spike asked with a grin. He noticed her eyes held a glazed over look to them.
" Oh yeah but...I don't think it's gonna fit." she returned innocently. Spike chuckled in response and leaned down for a brief kiss.
" Trust me. It'll fit." Spike chuckled once more.
" I've only been with Angel." she blurted out unexpectedly. Spike was a little surprised.
" Really?"
" Yeah. After what happened-" she cut herself off. She was too embarrassed to continue.
" I understand, sweets. We can stop if you want." spike prayed to the heavens that she didn't want to stop but he would she asked.
" No. I don't want to stop."
" Are you sure? Because we don't have to do this and if we go any further I don't think I'll be able to stop. God help me Buffy. I want to make love to you." Spike confessed. Buffy reached up and cupped his cheek.
" Make love to me, Will." and then she pulled him down for a heated kiss.

Spike's kisses traveled down her chest and once again Buffy was lost. She wasn't aware that she was so sensitive in that area. Low moans and gasps escaped from deep within her. Suddenly, he took his attention off of her breast and moved lower down her body. His kissed her stomach and dipped his tongue in her bellybutton, all the while keeping his eyes trained on her face. She was gorgeous. He cheeks were flushed her eyes were clouded with lust.

When his kisses reached her mound, Buffy seemed to snap out of her trance.
" What are you-" she whispered. *Why is he going down there?!*
" Making love to you." he said as if that was supposed to calm her down.
" I've never..umm.." she trailed off, hoping that he didn't notice how deep her blush had gotten.
" It's okay, kitten. I'll go slow. Want you to enjoy every minute of this. Just relax." he began to rub soothing circles on her hips.

As soon as she opened herself up to him, he went in for the kill. First, he applied a long, slow stroke up her slit. Buffy hissed in response.

" Oh!" she squeezed her eyes shut.
" None of that, luv. I want to see you. Look at me." spike ordered gently. Buffy immediately opened her eyes and looked down at him. " Good girl." he bent his head back down to her sex and every inch that his tongue could reach.

Buffy was on cloud nine. Spike was reaching placing inside her that she didn't even know existed. It wasn't like this with Angel. Foreplay wasn't his thing. Even though they had sex once, Angel proved that he wasn't very attentive. he didn't do anything to prepare her for their encounter. He just plunged right in. But Spike? He was amazing. His mouth was doing such delicious things to her and she was reaching her peak and the look in his eyes as he urged her along made it tat much better.

Spike was in heaven. This goddess of a woman was laid out before him. She tasted like strawberries and smelled so sweet. It had prided him so that he was the first one to introduce her to this type of foreplay. He just hoped he was making it memorable.

Buffy's constant moaning proved that he was doing just fine.

" Oh, God, Will! Don't stop!" Buffy exclaimed. Spike lifted his head just enough to say,
" Never gonna stop. could do this forever." then he went right back to his task. Only this time, he added his fingers.
" Ugh!"

A feeling was building in deep within Buffy's stomach. It was as if she was on the verge of finding something. IF only she looked hard enough, she'd discover it. as if spike could sense her need for release, he pumped his fingers fast and sucked on her clit.

* There it is! * she thought before falling into a chamber of orgasmic bliss.

" Uhhhhhhhh!!!!" she screamed. spike was sure the neighbors heard her but he couldn't care less. He continued to lick her until she came down from her high.

Buffy's only coherent thought was

*WOW!*

***************************************************************************

" Did you like that, kitten?" Spike inquired after a while. His chin was resting again her lower stomach. He was watching her with a grin on his face. Buffy still hadn't opened her eyes yet.
" I think my toes are numb." she answered. Spike laughed and kissed her tummy.
" Is that a 'yes'?"
" No. That's a 'hell yes' ! " Buffy exclaimed. " I've never felt anything like that before." Spike crawled up her body until he was at level with her eyes.
" It only gets better." he vowed. Buffy grin lazily at him.
" Oh yeah?"
" Hell yeah."
" Show me." Buffy pulled him to her for another passionate kiss and instantly tasted herself on his tongue. It brought a whole new wave pleasure to her.

Spike brought his hands down between them and positioned himself at her entrance. In one smooth, slow stroke he was completely inside of her.

" Bloody Hell!"
" Fuck!"

Spike didn't move right away. He just savored the feeling of being one with her. The realization of the situation hit him and nearly brought tears to his eyes. He was making love with the woman that he loved. This is how it should have been from the start. He had to make this last.

" We're gonna take this slow, baby. I want to make this last." he purred into her ear. Buffy had no problems with that.
" I've got all the time in the world." she responded right before he pulled out of her almost completely and slowly pushed back in. " Will!"
" Christ, you're amazin'! So tight...so wet for me."
" Only you, Will. Only you!" she rambled.

Spike was shocked at how much control he had. The pace that he had set was sill going strong and Buffy was meeting him thrust for thrust. It was as if he fit her perfectly. He kissed the valley between her breasts and then moved to that sensitive spot behind her ear. Buffy whimpered in result of this.

It was amazing. That was the only word that Buffy could think of to describe how Spike was making her feel. he was so deep but he couldn't get deep enough. His breathy pants and growls into her ear made her feel powerful. It was good to know that she had just as much as an effect on him as he did on her.

The rain was pounding against the windows and kept nsync with their love making. The faster Spike thrust, the faster the rain fell. It was intense.

" Deeper, Will, deeper." she exclaimed.
" Baby, you feel so good. Could do this forever." he moaned. Buffy upped her pleasure by wrapping her legs around his back causing him to sink in deeper. Suddenly, his thrusts sped up. Spike was loosing control and he could tell that she was too. He could feel her clenching around him. " Ugh! Do that again."

Buffy did what she was told and did it well.

" Bloody hell! I'm close, kitten. I know you are too. I can feel it. You're gettin' there. Let me feel it, Buffy. I wanna feel it. I wanna hear it. Don't hold back, luv. Let it go! Come for me. Come...for...me" he was loosing his control. and Buffy wasn't doing a good job of holding off either.
" I'm-Will!-I think I'm-"
" Kitten, come for me. Let me feel it!"
" Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!" Buffy scratched at his back. She was so close.
" That's it, baby! That's the way. Let me feel it!"
" Will!!!!!!!!!!" she climaxed.
" Buffy!!!!!!!!!!" he was right behind her.


Neither of them knew how long it took for them to come down from their blissful high. Just when Buffy thought that it couldn't possibly get any better than this, Spike proved her wrong.

" I love you." came Spike's muffled voice against her ear. " I love you so much." he pulled back too look at her. Buffy was stunned beyond words but it didn't stop her form saying it back.
" I love you too."

***************************************************************************

 

Chapter 19:

" You're amazing." Spike sighed out. They had just recovered from the mind-blowing experience of their lifetime. At some point after, Spike rolled onto the floor beside the couch taking Buffy with him. He eventually pulled out of her comfortable womanhood and laid down facing her. The rain had stopped pouring down and all that could be heard was light drizzling.
" No I'm not." Buffy answered softly with a blush that did not go unnoticed by Spike. The candles were still lit and the small flames danced across her face and various parts of her body.
" Yes you are." he argued firmly. " There's no one like you."
" You got the job done yourself." she grinned but Spike wasn’t smiling.
" That’s not what I meant.” he returned quietly. Buffy looked as if she didn’t understand what he meant. Spike didn’t disappoint her with the explaining. “ Making love with you was better than I ever dreamed it would be but it only added to the list of reasons why I love you.” he finished.
“ Really?” questioned Buffy. Deep down inside she had wondered if the only reason why he said he loved her was because they had slept together.
“ Really.” and as if he had been reading her thoughts, he continued. “ I don’t want you to think that I only said what I said because of what we did. I’ve loved you long before this and I’m pretty sure I’ll love you long after.” he promised.

Buffy was taking back but that still didn’t stop her from capturing his lips in a tender but passionate kiss that left Spike breathless when she pulled back.. His next words surprised her even more.

“ We didn’t use any protection.” Spike observed. Buffy stared at him strangle and a small laugh escaped her lips.
“ That’s not exactly the reaction I was going for, Spike” she answered. He smiled sheepishly.
“ I’m sorry. I just thought I would make you aware of it since neither one of us seemed to be too concerned with it earlier.”
“ Will, it’s okay. Even though I haven’t been with anyone since Angel, I’m on the pill.” Buffy soothed.
“ You should know then that there hasn’t been anyone but Dru in the last two years and even then I didn’t do anything with her without any protection.” At Buffy’s raised brow he clarified, “ I didn’t trust her entirely.” Buffy nodded in understanding.
“ So we have nothing to worry about then.”
“ Nothing to worry about.” brief pause. “ Can I ask you a question though, luv?”
“ Anything.” she answered, while she propped herself up on her right hand.
“ Why was Angel the only one that- I mean, why haven’t there been…” he stumbled over his words not really knowing how she’d take his questioning.
“ You mean why haven’t I slept with anyone besides Angel?” she helped him along. Spike nodded. “ I guess I didn’t want a repeat performance of the guy leaving me afterwards. I didn’t trust my last boyfriend enough to take that next step with him so I didn’t.” she explained. It didn’t take long for Spike to catch on to what she was implying.

* She trusts me! Buffy trusts me.* he thought gleefully.

“ I’d never do what they did to you, Buffy. I’d never put you through that type of pain.” he blurted out. Buffy beamed at him and used her left hand to gently cup his cheek.
“ Do honestly think I would be lying here with you if I thought those were your intentions? I trust you, William.”
“ I love you, Buffy.” he whispered.
“ I love you too.” she returned. Spike then surprised her by getting up off his position on the floor and pulling her up with him. She looked at him trying to be affected by his nudity but failing all the same.
“ I think we should move this little party of ours into the bedroom.” he suggested. Buffy pouted in response.
“ but I’m not tired.” she retorted. Spike pulled her naked flesh to his own and rained slow kisses along her jaw line.
“ Who said anything ‘bout sleep, kitten?” he swept Buffy off her feet and carried her towards his bedroom, with Buffy giggling the entire time.

*************************************************************************************

 

Chapter 20:

***************************************************************************

Buffy and Spike were now settled in Spike's bed. Light touches and kisses were now being exchanged.

" I can't get enough of you, Summers." Spike moaned as he trailed kisses along her throat.
" Really not complaining here." Buffy retuned. *God, he's has an amazing mouth.* she thought as he began moving down her body with his kisses.

Spike's light kisses turned into wet licks down her abdomen. Just when she thought that he was going repeat his earlier activities with his tongue, he suddenly stopped and moved back her body. Buffy whimpers of protest resulted in a chuckle from Spike.

" Don't worry, kitten. I'll take care of you." he replied huskily against her lips. Then he kissed her senseless.

As their tongues battled against one another, Spike used his hands to wrap Buffy's legs around his waist. He was now positioned at her entrance. Right before he pushed into her dripping heat, he broke the kiss.

" Look at me, sweets. Let me see those pretty eyes." he purred. Buffy slowly did what she was told and Spike nearly came at the passion and love he saw in her eyes.

" I love you." he responded as he entered her. Buffy gasped in pleasure in his ear.
" Say it again." she commanded as she met his every thrust. Their joining was faster than the previous one.
" I love you. I don't think I've ever loved everything this much. Does it feel good, baby?" he asked right before his mouth moved to nip and suck at each of her breasts.
" Yes! Oh, God! Yes!" she moaned.

Buffy's answer almost threw him over the edge but he was determined to make this last. He swiftly moved the two of them on a sitting position on the bed. This movement caused Spike to move more deeply within her. Their frantic thrust began to slow don't to gentle one's. With their eyes locked and foreheads pressed together, they continued on the road to climax. Buffy nails were digging into Spike shoulder blades. The slight stinging sensation mixed with the feel of Buffy clenching his throbbing member was driving him crazy.

Not being able to handle it., Spike began once again speed up his upward thrusts. He was digging her hips so much that he was sure it would leave marks. Buffy's breathing was becoming a problem. It felt like she was suffocating. She was so close....

" Ugh! I think I'm-Oh Will!-I'm" she stumbled quickly falling into a power orgasm.
" Let it go, baby. Make me feel it." he coaxed, not that she really needed the encouragement.

And then....Buffy saw stars, explosions and she could've sworn that she even saw little green men floating around her head. She wasn't alone in her state of bliss. Three thrusts later, Spike came with a roar. Not being able to hold his weight and hers, they returned back to their original position on the bed completely spent.

Once his breathing calmed down, spike reluctantly pulled out of Buffy and rolled on his side, pulling her along with him. He pressed a tender kiss to her sweat slicked hair, while whispering terms of endearment. He was nearly asleep when he heard her soft voice.

" Promise that you'll be here when I wake up."

* Did she actually think that I wasn't gonna be here in the mornin'? Angel must have left her cold after their time together. Asshole! Mental note: Kick Angel's ass!*

" I'll be here. Promise." He kissed her temple and held her close until it was apparent that she was asleep. He then followed her.

Never before head sleep been so peaceful for either of them.

***************************************************************************

Buffy woke to the feel of someone caressing her face. he heart beat sped up once she remembered last night's events. A smile crept it's way to her face before she finally opened her eyes.

And as promised, Spike was there, just like he said he'd be.

" Hello, cutie." greeted Spike with a small smile.
" You're here." Buffy stated the obvious. Angel wasn't there when she woke up. * Will is NOTHING like Angel! Quit comparing!* Spike's hand pulled her close until his nose was touching her.
" Of course I am. Made a promise remember?" he grinned and Buffy giggled before giving him a proper good morning kiss.

***************************************************************************

Love be still
Love be sweet
Don't you dare
change a thing

The next two weeks were the most enjoyable, pleasurable, and unbelievable two weeks of Buffy and Spike's lives. When they weren't cruising around SunnyD, hand in hand, they were camped inside, making love in every part of the apartment.

I want to photograph you with my mind
To feel what I fell now all the time.

When Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara heard about their relationship, their only reply was,

" It's about time!!!!"

Say that you'll stay
forever this way
Forever and forever
I will never have to change

Don't move don't breathe
Don't change don't leave
Promise me
Say
You'll stay
We'll stay
This way

***************************************************************************

Considering that Angel was away on 'business', Spike wasn't able to give him the royal ass kicking that he had promised when he got back to work the weekend after him and Buffy's night together. Spike was almost bursting with rage when the pillock walked into the office two weeks later.

" We need to talk. NOW!" Spike replied heatedly as he entered Angel's office with a slam of the door. Angel didn't look all that intimidated.
" Good mornin' to you to, William. Can I do something for you?" Angel asked, not looking up from the paperwork on his desk. It took most of Spike's energy not to punch Angel right then in there at his dismissive tone.
" I don't think you could disappear off of the face of the earth at the moment, so no. You can't do anything for me." he barked. Angel finally turned his attention to the overheated blonde with a exasperated sigh.
" I guessing Buffy told you what happened with us." he guessed.
" She told me that and then some, Peaches. How could you do something like that? And to her?" he growled, feeling the need to defend his girl in any way possible.
"It was a long time ago, Spike. I was young-" Angel started but Spike cut him off with a bitter laugh.
" Oh save the bullshit, Angel. You knew exactly what you were doing. Why can't you just admit that you were wrong? " he questioned with a glare. If looks could kill, Angel would be down on his office floor covered in blood.
" You and I both know that it would change anything. She hates me. What would be the point of apologizing?" Angel asked while he rubbed his temples.
" What would be the point?! If you have to ask that, Liam, Buffy was right all along. You really are a sorry son of a bitch." Spike retorted, not caring that he had just insulted his boss. Angel got up from his seat, rounded his desk and stood directly in front of Spike.
" You know...I could fire you right now for that." Angel threatened. Spike, however, didn't back down from the threat.
" You could but you'd only be proving me right." spike returned with a smirk. Angel backed down wit a sigh and sat on the edge of his desk.
" Why do you care anyway?" Angel asked, already knowing the answer. It was clear as the day is long when Spike first walked in his office.
" I care because I love her." Spike answered softly. There was no hint of hesitation in his voice. In fact, he had never been so sure of anything in his entire life.

Angel just nodded understandingly and returned to his seat behind his desk. He stayed quiet for a while and Spike wondered if he was gonna be cleaning out his desk at the end of the day.

" I'll talk to 'er. I can't promise that she'll listen but I'll try." Angel gave in.
" That's all I'm asking. I just want her to put this behind her. She'll never be able to make a life with me if she doesn't." said Spike. Angel's next question completely through him off.
" What would you say if I offered you a promotion?" he inquired
" Huh?" Spike was floored.
" A promotion. Would you like one?" Angel grinned at Spike's dumbfounded expression.
" Are you shittin' me?"
" I shit you not, my bleached friend. There's a guy looking for a new writer for his magazine. I gave him you're name, he read your work and he wants you !"
" You're serious." Spike gaped.
" I'm serious." Angel confirmed but his smile faulted a bit. This did not go unnoticed by Spike.
" What's the catch? " he questioned with narrowed eyes.
" The new position is in New York."

***************************************************************************

 

Chapter 21:

"It's in New York."


Angel's words rang in Spike's head all the way home. Of course he was happy about the news but the fact that he was being put in the same position with Buffy as Angel once was, overshadowed his joy. How was he gonna tell Buffy? More importantly how was Buffy gonna take it? The two of them had just started their relationship. Even though Buffy had made it pretty clear that she didn't want any other man but him, Spike was sure that she wasn't gonna just give up everything and follow him to New York. Tell her about it was gonna be hard enough. Trying to convince her that New York with him was gonna be a real challenge.

* I can't lie to her. I just have to find the right time to tell her about it. Don't want to scare her.*

However scared Spike was about telling her, he knew that some way or another Buffy would see it his way. This was a great opportunity for him. Working for a big newspaper like the New York Times was something that Spike had been waiting for since he was twelve.

* I know Buffy'll see what a great thing this is. She'll adjust. I'm sure she'll be fine with it.* Spike assured. Deep down, he knew that it wasn't gonna be that easy.

***************************************************************************

Buffy had never in her life been so happy. Spike proved to be one of the most important people in her life and that was surprising after she swore she would never let a man have that much of an effect on her. Fortunately, Spike had that way about him that just made her crazy for him but she wasn't complaining. Loving Spike wasn’t' hard at all. It was as if it came naturally. It was easy as breathing.

The best part about the relationship was that no fear of Angel ruining it came into thought. Since that dinner a few weeks ago, Buffy hadn't really given Angel of a thought. Not that she ignored it but she didn't feel as angry anymore. She chose to focus on the present and not on the past.

Not only was Angel not a problem but Spike's poetry articles were getting better by the copy (not that they were ever bad.) He was always writing. One time after they had made love, he pulled out a notepad and pen and starting writing. Buffy was a little taken back but fell for him harder when he explained why.

" You're my muse, luv. You give me inspiration." he replied.
" I do?" Buffy blushed.
" Yep. All the poems that I write are about you."
" They are?!" Buffy never really realized this. * He writes about me? Wow."
" Of course. You ARE my inspiration." he purred before returning to his task. Buffy just stared at him in awe before snuggling up next to him.


It was things like that that made Buffy fall head over heals in love with him all over again. Every time she thought about him, her heart soared. Whenever they were making love, he was so sweet and gentle. He never left her unsatisfied. Buffy could spend forever making love to that man. It was if he knew her body better than she did. Spike knew every spot to touch and caress. He knew when to tease and when not to and he knew what to say. Every time was special and different. He was always coming up with new ways to make her scream. The best part was that he always made with the snuggles afterwards. spike wasn't just about the amazing sex. He also knew what a real connection was.

Spike really had a hold on her and Buffy wasn’t looking to get loose anytime soon….

***************************************************************************

" You're home early." Buffy observed when Spike walked in the apartment.
" Wasn't really needed. Decided to take the rest of the afternoon off." he answered hoping that she wouldn't press to much. He wasn't ready to share anything about his day yet
" Is everything okay?" she questioned caringly as she made herself comfortable next to him. Spike forced a smile.
" Everything's fine." he responded. Buffy narrowed her eyes a little.
" I don't believe you." she stated. Spike widened his eyes a little before pretending like he had no clue what she was talking about.
" What do you mean?"
" What do you mean, 'What do I mean'? You've been home almost five minutes and you haven't even given me a proper hello yet." answered Buffy with a pout. Spike relaxed.
" Oh. That." * Bloody hell, mate. Calm down. It's not that deep.*
" I feel kind of neglected." Buffy continued to pout. " but hey- if you don't wanna kiss me then fine. I completely under-" she was abruptly cut off when Spike pressed his lips to her. Buffy moaned softly in his mouth.

* God, his mouth is amazin'. I could kiss him forever if he let me.* she thought. All thinking ceased when she felt his tongue enter her mouth. What started out to be a gentle greeting, suddenly turned into a passionate joining.

It seemed like an eternity before they broke apart breathless.

" That enough of a 'proper hello' for you, pet?" his forehead was resting against hers.
" Nope." she breathed.
" No?"
" You heard me. I think you can do a lot better than that." Buffy's hands were busying themselves with removing Spike's jacket and unbuttoning his shirt.
" That so?" spike asked with a smirk. His hands were pretty occupied as well with removing Buffy's clothes.
" Oh yeah." Buffy suddenly straddled his waist, taking Spike by surprise. With a hungry smirk, she continued, " Let me show you what I mean."


Buffy spent the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening teaching Spike how to 'greet' her properly.

Spike's plan of telling Buffy about his promotion went out of the window.

*I'll tell her.....soon.*

***************************************************************************

Chapter 22:

For the next week, Spike had neglected to tell Buffy about the job. Whenever he'd grow some balls to tell her, she'd sway his attention with actions that usually had them naked. Not that he was complaining but he felt guilty about being with her like that and not being completely honest with her.

* Grow a pair, mate. You've put this off long enough. Angel's already given you a deadline. You have less than two weeks to make a decision. Buffy needs to know now!* Spike thought as he took a shower Saturday morning.

" Will!!!! Breakfast!!!" Buffy announced from the kitchen. Spike rinsed himself off and got out of the shower.

Since he and Buffy had been together, Spike rarely used his own bathroom or slept in his own bed. He was always in Buffy's room. He loved being surrounded by her smell. Spike hadn't suggested moving in the same room together because he didn't want to crowd her but if she wasn't sleeping next to him, he didn't get any sleep for the night.

Spike wrapped a white towel around his waist and made his way into the kitchen. Buffy's radio was playing loud. She was dancing and singing along with the music and had no idea that Spike was watching her with interest.

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
where I'll meet you at the door

Buffy's hips were swaying rhythmically to the beat of her favorite song. She was only wearing one of Spike's t-shirts and whenever she would move a certain way, Spike got a good view of her....goodies. Her back was to him.

I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
Scream

Buffy continued to dance the morning away until she turned around and finally noticed Spike's presence.

" Aaaah! Will!" she screamed with her hand over her chest. Her cheeks were crimson red.
" Nice moves, luv." he grinned and walked fully into the kitchen.
" What did I tell you about doing that? Jeez, you scared me half to death." she complained, still trying to catch her breath.
" What can I say? I love getting you all jumpy for me." he returned as he popped a grape in his mouth.
" Very funny, bleached wonder. How would you like it if I made you jump?" Buffy asked but realized her mistake soon after. Spike pulled her flush against his damp body and replied huskily,
" Depends on which part of me would be doing the jumping."
" Perv. Look what you did. You got me all wet." Buffy said gesturing to all the water that had gotten on her from being pulled against him. Again, she realized her mistake in her wording.
" I thought that was supposed to be a good thing." he smirked. Buffy just gave in.
" Oh that's always a good thing but you just got yourself all clean. I wouldn't want to dirty you up again. You know we get." Buffy moved back to the counter to place their food on plates.
" Again I repeat; isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" spike questioned moving to stand behind her. He wrapped one arm around her while his hand went up her shirt. Before his fingers could get to work. she turned and shooed him away.
" If you think that you're gonna seduce me in front of our food., you've got another thing coming buster!" she scowled.
" I didn't hear you complaining last time, luv." he replied just before the phone started to ring.
" What can I say? I'm a sucker for whipped cream and cherries." Buffy smirked as she made her way over to the phone. Spike chuckles could be heard behind her.

" Hello." Buffy greeted.
" Hey, Buffy." the voice greeted.
" Angel." * Why is he calling me? We haven't spoken in weeks.* she wondered. She looked up at Spike who was just as interested as to why Angel was calling the apartment. Angel never called before now.
" How are you?" Angel inquired conversationally.
" I'm fine." uncomfortable pause. " Let me get Will for you. I'm sure the two of you-" Buffy began but was cut off.
" Actually, I was calling to talk to you." Angel said.
" Really? Why?" Buffy asked with a raised brow.
" I really hate doing this over the phone. Can we meet somewhere and talk?" Angel suggested.
" I'm not sure that's such a good idea-" Buffy started to deny.
" Please, Buffy. I just want to talk. I think it's about time I explained a few things. I owe you that much." Angel pleaded. Buffy thought about it for a minute. For Angel, it felt like longer. Finally, Buffy made a decision.
" Why don't you call me back in five minutes and I'll let you know." Buffy replied and hung up the phone before she heard his response.

Spike couldn't read her expression when she waked back over to the counter. He didn't want to push her into telling him what just happened but his curiosity got the best of him.

" What did he want?"
" He wants to talk to me. He said that he had some things that he needed to explain." Buffy answered still showing no signs of emotion. Spike knew what this meant. She wanted to know what he thought.
" That sounds good." Spike responded.
" Huh?" Buffy's head snapped up at his casual tone. * He’s actually okay with this?*
" I think you should talk to him. You two never really talked about what happened. I think it'll be good for the both of you. You can finally move on." Spike explained his case. He actually did think it was a good idea for Buffy to talk to Angel.
" And you're okay with this?" Buffy asked skeptically. Spike chuckled.
" You don't plan on sleeping with him or anything do you?" he questioned.
" Of course not!!" Buffy's face was scrunched up as if the thought touching Angel made her sick.
" Then I don't have a problem with it. He needs to tell you his side. Even if his side is full of shit, you deserve to know. Maybe then you guys could attempt a friendship." he said. Buffy stared at him in surprise. She never thought Spike would be that understanding about her ex-boyfriend.
" You...are.....amazing." gasped Buffy. Spike smiled shyly. Before he could say anything, however, the phone rang. Buffy went over to answer it, fully aware of who it was.

" Hello."
" Have you decided." Angel asked in a formal tone. Buffy took a deep breath and shared a look with Spike. He gave her a reassuring smile and nod.

Apart of Buffy wanted to tell Angel to go to hell but she knew that Spike was right. She did deserve to know Angel’s side. Maybe then she could let this go and truly move on with her life.

" When and where?"

***************************************************************************

A/N You know what to do.
 

Chapter 23:

Buffy put the phone down after writing the directions to where Angel wanted to meet up with her. She still wasn't sure about the whole thing but she did owe it to herself to find out what happened with them that painful day.

" You don't HAVE to do this, you know?" Spike replied as he wrapped his arms lovingly around her from behind. Buffy leaned into his embrace willingly.
" Now you tell me." she complained.
" You could always change your mind." he continued. Even though Spike thought that Buffy should go and talk to Angel, he didn't want her to do something that she was uncomfortable with.
" No." sighs. " You're right. I owe it to myself to find out some stuff. I have to do this, not just for me.....but for us as well." Buffy responded turning around so she could see his face.
" Okay, kitten." Spike kissed her temple. " Do you want me to tag along?"
" No. I think it's best if I do this alone." Buffy answered. "Besides, I don’t' think Angel would get much talking done if you're there glaring at him the entire time." she teased but knew that he'd do exactly that if he were to come along.
" Spoil my fun." he pouted. Spike would've enjoyed making the wanker squirm. " Fine. I'll stay here and be a good boy."
" And I'll be back to reward you properly for it later." Buffy promised before leaning in and applying a long, slow lick to his neck. Spike hissed in reaction. His lower anatomy sprang into action. Buffy, however, had other plans. " Until then...." Buffy lightly cupped his erection under his towel before replying heatedly, " Down boy." And then she took off running down the hall to her room.

It took Spike a few seconds to get himself together before he realized what just happened. He could hear Buffy laughing from where he stood.

* The minx thinks it's funny, eh?* Spike thought as he made his way to her room.

When he got there, Buffy was no where in sight but her giggles could still be heard from the bathroom. Spike grinned mischievously before walking over and entering the bathroom. Steam had already started to cloud the room. He was well aware that he had just got out of the shower.

* Being too clean never hurt anyone." he assured before stripping off his towel and joining Buffy in the tub.

" I don't remember inviting you into my shower mister." Buffy teased without even turning around to face him.
" Sod an invitation. You can't just start something like that and not finish it." responded Spike huskily behind her while his hands busied themselves with wet body.
" What are you gonna do about then?" Buffy questioned with a smirk that resembled one of his own. She suddenly felt herself being turned around and pulled towards hard, wet flesh. The hunger in Spike's eyes was almost too much.
" Finish it." he answered before taking her lips in a feverish kiss.

Unlike their previous kisses, this one was filled with a hunger and urgency that Buffy nor Spike ever felt before. Their tongues battled for domination as they tasted one another. Everything was wet and slipper. Buffy felt herself being pushed against the shower wall. Spike's hands were roaming all over her body in the most delicious way but before she could get a good grip on him herself, Spike pulled away form her lips. When she opened her eyes, he wasn't standing in front of her anymore. Spike was kneeling in front of her instead.

" I want you." Spike purred up at her. Buffy didn't need to hear that he wanted her in order to know it. She could see his 'wanting' of her very VERY clearly.
" You have me." answered Buffy. She was just as breathless as he was.
" Good." he grinned. " Hang on, luv." he warned as he lifter one of her legs up and put it over his shoulder. Before Buffy knew what was happening, he was pleasing her (oh so well) with his mouth.
" Oh God!!" she moaned as she felt his tongue lap at her sex greedily. His tongue eagerly found clit and soon she felt him sucking and nipping it lightly.

Buffy didn't know how long she could take the delicious torture of his mouth. A feeling was building up in the lower part of her body and she knew she wouldn't be able to contain if for long.
Spike loved doing this to her. Not only did he enjoy the effected it had over her but he loved watching her. She looked amazing. Her body was covered wit droplets of water, while her wet hair clung to various parts of face. The pleasure that she was feeling was clearly written across her face, not to mention the whimpers and moans that she was currently making.

Oh yeah....Spike loved doing this.

" Ugh! Will!!!!" she whimpered down at him. " It's-It's too much. I can't- I can't.." Buffy trailed off with another pleasure filled moan. Since Spike's mouth was a little preoccupied, his eyes told her everything that he wanted to say when he looked up at her.

*Let it go, luv. Cum for me. You know you want to. Let me taste it. Don’t' hold back, baby. Let me feel it." his eyes pleaded with her.

The lust and passion held within his gaze along with his mouth's actions was way too much for her to handle. Just before Buffy found her release, Spike decided to change positions. With one quick movement, he was sheathed inside of her. As soon as Buffy felt Spike's hard member inside of her, she came all over the place.

" Will!!!!!!!!!" she screamed so loud that Spike was sure his ears were bleeding. He didn't care. All that mattered was her.

Spike began moving deep inside of her. When he felt her legs begin to buckle, he reached for her legs and wrapped them around his waist to keep her from falling. This action cause him to hit a spot deep within her that made her gasp with pleasure. He was already on the verge of falling over the edge and if she kept making those noises, he wasn't gonna be able to hang on much longer. Spike's thrusts began to take on a frantic quality and Buffy eagerly accepted them. She felt that feeling deep inside of her once more and it was getting close to being release.

" Will..." she whimpered before biting into his shoulder, trying to muffle her cries. Even though Spike was loving the biting thing, he didn't want her to hold back. He wanted to hear her.
" Don't do that, luv." he shook her off of his shoulder. " Let me hear you. Don't hold back on me." he chided as he pumped away. He knew she was almost there. So was he. To move her along, he positioned his fingers in between them so he could fondle those bundle of nerves. He noticed her eyes got wide momentarily. Meanwhile, his lips busied themselves with hers. It didn't take long for both of them to breath away from each other with a scream.

" Ugh!! Will!!!"
" Buffy!!!!"

Spike emptied himself within her and Buffy welcomed every last drop of it. They moved together for a little while longer just to draw out the pleasure of it all. When they stopped, Spike completed their love making with a gentle kiss. He then reluctantly slipped out of her when he felt her legs loosen from around his waist.

Spike wasn't expecting a firm smack to the head when he pulled away from her.

" Okay.....owe! What was that for?" he questioned with a frown. Buffy also had a frown on her face but Spike could tell by her eyes that she wasn't angry.
" You seduced me on purpose!! You know that I'm supposed to be meeting Angel and now I'm gonna be late do to our unscheduled wanting of one another." She pouted. Spike chuckled and enveloped her in a loving embrace.
" News flash, baby; Our 'wanting of each other' is never scheduled."
" but now I'm late." Buffy continued to pout playfully as Spike started nipped at her bottom lip.
" True but at least you're late and spiked." he teased with a smirk.

It took a few seconds for Buffy to get what he meant. When she finally did, Spike earned himself another playful smack to the head.

" Blood hell! Quit hittin' me woman!" he exclaimed. Buffy just giggled and slapped him on his ass. " You're playing with fire, Miss Summers." he warned with his tongue sticking out between his teeth. Buffy rolled her eyes.
" I'll let you burn me later. Now get out!"
" Why?" he asked with a pout of his own.
" Because now I have to use the shower for what it was originally intended for. Beat it!" Buffy explained.
" Bossy bint." he muttered but got out of the tub anyway. Just as he made it to the door with the towel wrapped loosely around his waist, Buffy got his attention once more.

" Hey, Will?"
" Yeah?" he turned to face her.
" I love you." she smiled lovingly at him from her place in the shower.

Spike winked and blew her a kiss before exiting the bathroom.

He loved her too...

***************************************************************************

Chapter 24:

As much as Buffy bathed, she could still smell Spike all over her. She wasn't complaining though. Knowing that he was going to be there with her in some small way helped her confidence. She was more than a little nervous about meeting up with Angel at first but now (because of Spike) she was okay.

* I can do this.* Buffy thought to herself as she made her way to the meeting place.Angel must have senced that she didn't want to be in an inclosed space, so he reccommended the park.

It didn't take long for her to locate him once she got therer. Angel was sitting on a nearby bench not more than twenty feet from where Buffy was standing. He looked in her direction and noticed her as well. Buffy didn't make any attempt to move. Not because she was once again nervous but because she wanted him to make the first move. Afterall, he was the one who wanted to meet her. Angel didn't dissappoint. He arose from his seat on the bench and began walking towards her with a hesitant smile.

" I'm glad you came." Angel replied once he stood directly in front of her.
" I almost didn't." Buffy answered honestly. Angel looked away in a mixture of shame and embarrassment. Buffy relax a little. " but you're right. We do need to talk." she continued. Angel's gaze snapped back to hers.
" Let's take a walk."

***************************************************************************

Spike was cleaning up the mess that Buffy had made when she had cooked breakfast when he heard a knock at the door. He stopped what he was doing and went to answer it, not at all surprised when he found out who was doing the knocking.

" Well well well..look what the wind blew to my door." Spike greeted he motioned for Xander to come in.
" Nice to see you too, Willy." Xander joked.
" Watch it, mate." Spike growled teasingly as he closed the door. Xander just plopped down on tthe couch in response and looked around.
" Where's the Buffster? I was hoping the two of you would want to do somethin' with me an An."
" She's out meeting with Peaches." Spike responded, returning to his previous duties. Xander looked at him as if he grown a second head.
" Buffy is on a date with her ex and you acting like it's normal?" Xander observed. Spike just rolled his eyes.
" It's not a date, you git. She's just talkin' with 'im."
" What could he possibly say that would interest Buffy?" Xander was very aware of Buffy's past with Angel, curtesy of Spike. He hasn't thought too highly of the brooding editor sence. " Don't you think he's done enough damage? Why would you even let her go?"
" I didn't let 'er do anythin', Xander. It was her choice." sighs. " She needs to put this behind her and if chattin' with Peaches is the only way to do that, so be it." Spike replied.
" And you're okay with this?"
" It's not like anything is gonna happen. Buffy loves me. I turust her." Spike assured.
" I know that. I'm just saying that I don't trust him." Xander retorted.
" Can we change the subject?" Spike asked with another eye roll.
" Fine fine fine." picks up a magazine from the coffe table. "How did Buffy take the news about the job in the big apple?" Xander questioned. Spike had mustered up enough courage and told Xander about the job, praying that the dork could keep his mouth shut.
" Umm....well....you see..." Spike stammered out. Xander slowly shook his head as realization dawned on him.
" Please tell me that you told her about the job?" Xander pleaded. Spike's guilty look told him everything. " Are you crazy?! Why haven't you told her?!"
" It's not as easy as it sounds, mate. I just wanted to wait for the right time." Spike defended himself poorly. Xander wasn't buying it at all.
" Bull! It's been two weeks, Spike. You've had plenty of time and you're slowly losing it. Didn't you say that you had to let that ediotor in New York know your decision by the end of next week?"
" Yeah. What of it?" questioned Spike. Xander looked at him as if he had gone completely insane.
" You've been lying to Buffy, Spike." he answered simply.
" I have not! I've just been ommitting information." Spike returned.
" Same thing. You can't keep stuff like this from her, Spike. She doesn't deserve this, especially not after what happened with Angel."
" What's the Big Poof got to do with this?' Spike honestly had no idea why Xander brought Angel into this.
" You do know that by not telling Buffy about the job, you're doing the same thing that Angel did to her all those years ago?"
" This is different." Spike assured, not really knowing if he was trying to convince himself or Xander.
" No, it's not!! You're putting off the truth just like Angel did. You remember how that one played out. Don't let history repeat itself." Xander replied heatedly. Spike was shocked at his outburst but knew that Xander was right.


It was time for the truth.......

***************************************************************************

Buffy and Angel walked in silence. Their lack of speaking spoke volumes. Just when Buffy thought that she would break from it all, Angel finally spoke.

" I rehearsed this in my head, ya know? I thought of all the witty and clever things to say that would make you see that I've changed." deep sigh. " Now that you're here, I've realized that the only thing that I can say is I'm sorry." replied Angel. Buffy continued to look ahead as he talked. " I know that that doesn't make up for what I did or what I put you through but you have to know that I am sorry."
" Why'd you do it?" came Buffy's timid question. She still continued to walk, not looking at him.
" The truth or the lie?" he asked. Buffy answered without hesitation.
" Both."
" I don't know why I did it. To this day, I still can't understand why I left things the way they were." Angel said.
" Now I want the truth." Buffy ordered. She knew that he was lying. He knew exactly why he did what he did. Angel takes a deep breath before continuing.
" I did it because I knew that if I stayed, we would've had the perfect life together. We would have stayed together after high school ended and went off to college together. Most likely, we would've gotten married. If there was still an us now, we'd probably have kids." Angel explained. Buffy finally stopped walking and looked at him.
" And I'm guessing that wasn't enough for you?" Buffy questioned, already knowing the answer.
" At that time, no it wasn't." he answered truthfully. Buffy stared at him for a moment and then resumed walking.
" So...our sleeping together had nothing to do with it ?" she asked nervously. Angel stopped her from taking another step with a tug at her elbow.
" Is that what you think?" he was suprised.
" Did you ever give me any reason not to think that? I mean, you weren't there the morning after and when I finally caught up with you, you treated me as if-" Buffy broke off with a sigh. " You treated me as if I didn't matter."
" I know." Angel looked down at the ground ashamed.
" No, you don't know. I cried myself to sleep over what you did for weeks. I barely ate, I never went out and my relationships with men all went down the tube because of you. I was afraid to trust again. I was afraid to LOVE again. Did you know any of that?" she questioned but didn't wait for him to answer. " Of course you didn't. You never asked. You didn't care. I was just apart of your past that you quickly put behind you the second you left SunnyDale."

Angel didn't argue with any of this. He knew that she was right. Everything she was acusing him of was the truth. Buffy had every right to hate him. At the moment, he hated himself.

" So don't say that you KNOW, Angel." pause. " You don't know anything." Buffy finished. A lone tear escaped from her eye. She quickly wiped it away, not wanting to let him see how much he really had hurt her. It was too late though. Her words had clued him in on that fact anyway. There was only one thing that he could say. Angel just hoped that she would finally believe him.
" I'm sorry." was Angel's quiet reply. Buffy didn't answer him. She just turned around and continued walkin, not caring if he was beside her or not. When it was apparent taht he was still with her, she spoke.
" I know you're sorry, Angel."
" Does that mean you forgive me?" he asked hopefully. Buffy let a grin grace her lips.
" I don't hate you." she answered. Angel smiled gratefully in response.
" I guess that counts for something." he returned. " Are things ever gonna be....okay with us again?"
" I don't know, Angel." she answered honestly. " When it came to us, I was never really sure of anything and for once I'm okay with that." Buffy responded.
" In other words, only time will tell what happens with us." Angel guessed.
" Exactly."
" As long as you don't hate me, I guess I can't complain."
" I stopped hating you the moment I fell in love with Will. I guess I realized that if you hadn't have did what you did, I never would have met him." Buffy confessed, completely changing the subject into more comfortable territory. For her, anyway.....
" William's a great guy." Angel commented. He wasn't jealous at all. He knew that Buffy was happy. That's all he wanted for her.
" I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't." Buffy retorted. She noticed that they had walked around the entire park twice.
" The two of you deserve one another. I'm happy for you, Buffy. I'm really happy for you."
" So you're not gonna fire Will?" Buffy joked. Angel laughed.
" Fire him? Why would I do that? He's one of my best writers. Why do you think I gave him that promotion?" Angel questioned, not knowing that Buffy had been left in the dark about that. She stopped dead in her tracks, turned to her ex and asked,

" What promotion?"

***************************************************************************

Chapter 25:

**************************************************************************

" What promotion?" Buffy questioned. She had absolutely no idea what Angel was talking about but something was telling her that she wasn't gonna like the direction in which the conversation was about to turn.
" The promotion in New York. This editor guy that I know read some of Spike's work a couple of weeks ago and offered him a job as one of his writer's in New York. " Angel explained but by Buffy's hurt, surprised and confused expression, he regretted everything that he had just exposed. " And you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about do you?” he questioned with a sigh.
" Can't say that I do?" was Buffy's reply. Millions of thoughts began to run through her head.

*He lied to me! How could he....he lied to me. Was he ever gonna tell me any of this?* she thought.

" Buffy...I didn't know. I mean, if I had known that Spike hadn't told you I never would have said anything. I'm so-" Angel started to apologize but Buffy cut him off.
" No. It's not you're fault. I guess it must have slipped Will's mind. I mean, there has to be a reasonable explanation for why he didn't tell me." Buffy didn't know if she was trying to convince herself or Angel. " Maybe he was just waiting for the right time to tell me or something." she continued to try and assure herself. Unfortunately, she was failing miserably.
" Buffy, I don't mean to pour salt over an open wound but ummmm...I gave him the promotion a couple of weeks ago. Surely, that's more than enough time to...." Angel wasn't trying to hurt her with these truths. In fact, he was a little confused himself. * Why wouldn't he tell her? He loves her.....right?*
" Oh my God." Buffy gasped out to herself. All the pieces were fitting together and the familiarity of the situation was almost too much for Buffy to handle.
" Buffy-" Angel moved to sooth her more but she evaded his grasp and backed away.
" I have to leave now." she stated quietly. The look in her eyes told Angel that he should try to argue with her. Before he could say anything to her, Buffy was already walking away.

" What the hell are trying to do Spike?" Angel asked himself quietly as he watched Buffy leave the park.

***************************************************************************

Buffy took the long way back to the apartment. She wasn't ready to face up to the truth of Angel's slip up. As she walked, Buffy thought about the past couple of weeks and how different Spike had been acting. It was all starting to make since now.

* How could I have not seen this coming? It was right in front of my face and I wasn't even paying attention. The way he'd get when I'd ask him about work . He looked so avoidy and guilty but I never called him on it. He knew the entire time and he never said anything to me. I had to find out from Angel, of all people.*

All these thoughts made Buffy walk a little faster and before she realized it she was standing in front of their apartment door.

In all honesty, Buffy was happy for Will about his promotion but her happiness for his success was overshadowed by the fact that he had lied. Spike could have told her but he didn’t. Sure, the news would have been a bit of a shock but at least she would have known. The fact that Angel had told her all of this made the knife in her heart twist all the more.

So here she was.

What happened now?

Angel had finally told her the truth.

Would Spike have the decency to do the same?

*************************************************************************
 

Chapter 26:
*************************************************************************

Spike was a nervous wreck. Since Xander had left, all he did was pace the living room floor. He knew he had to tell Buffy the truth.

But how?

How was he gonna tell Buffy, the new found love of his life, that he had been lying to her? How would he be able to handle her reaction?

What would happen?

Would it be over?

" You really fucked things up this time, mate. You have only yourself to blame." he grumbled but was brought out of his self-pity and pace-mode when he heard lock on the door being turned.

Buffy was home.

It was time.

* It's a good thing she left here in a good mood. Maybe she won't pound my head in for not telling 'er the truth. Maybe everything will be fine.* Spike thought as he waited for her to enter the apartment.

Boy, was he wrong!!!

SLAM!!! (DOOR BEING SHUT)

'You have a lot of explaining to do."

***************************************************************************

Buffy had no clue what was pulsing though her when she walked into the apartment but as soon as she saw Spike standing in the middle of the living area, all thoughts of being weak and helpless flew out of the window. Instead, pissed and angry Buffy was in the driver's seat.

It didn't take a genius to know that Spike was a little shocked (and frightened) to see Buffy so heated. Her face was all red and her eyes were so dark that Spike couldn't make out the green in them anymore. The strange thing was that he had no idea why she was upset.

" Is everything okay, luv?" Spike questioned concerned. He would have did the whole hug and kiss thing but he wasn't sure it was safe to be too close to her at the moment.

He wasn't wrong. Buffy was seething. The fact that he could just stand there and pretend like he didn't know what was going on made her want to kill him and not care about the consequences. Instead of reacting in that fashion, Buffy decided that calm and collected was way scarier than loud and angry.

" Everything's fine, Spike." Buffy answered. The way she said his name made his skin crawl.. Buffy had never said his name with such loathing.
" Are you sure? You look a little upset." Spike observed. He noticed that Buffy was starting to move toward him like a tiger about to pounce so he began to back away and move around the coffee table.
" Me? Upset?" short pause for effect. " Well, I guess you could say that."
" Is it something that I can help you with?" Spike asked timidly. Buffy was still walking towards him and he was still backing away. That's exactly what Buffy wanted. The fact that he feared her, if only a little, gave her the power she needed.
" Maybe." Buffy pretended to think of how he could help before speaking once more. " I got an idea. Let's play a game." she suggested.
" A game?" Spike repeated. * Has she completely lost her mind?*
" Yes. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions and you're gonna answer with the first thing that comes to your mind as quickly as you can." Buffy explained. She could practically see the wheels spinning in Spike's head. She momentarily stopped her advances towards Spike and stood her ground on the other side of the couch.
" How's that gonna help-" he began to protest but Buffy interjected with,
" Trust me." The sound of her voice left no room for argument. Spike had no other choice but to nod in agreement.

" Black or Red?" she began.
" Black." he answered.
" Dogs or cats?"
" Cats."
" Me or you?" she questioned moving closer towards him. Spike could tell that the questions were becoming a little more personal. As the 'game' progressed Buffy began to move towards him once again and as she expected Spike began to move away. What he didn't know was that he was about to be back into a corner and not just in the physical sense.
" You."
" Everything or nothing at all?"
" Everything." he felt his back hit the wall behind him.
" New York or Sunnydale?"

With that question, realization hit Spike like a ton of bricks.

She knew

Buffy knew about the promotion.

* Oh balls!*

***************************************************************************

" You know." Spike breathed out. Buffy had in in the corner of the living room. She was so close to him that he could feel the rage coming off of her in waves. * Oh yeah. She's really pissed.*
" Yeah, I know. An apology wasn't the only thing that I got out of Angel." she retorted.
" Angel told you?" Spike questioned dumbfounded.
" He wasn't aware that you hadn't told me yet. Why hadn't you told me yet, Spike?" she spat out his name again. She was beginning to loose that tiny thread of patience.
" I was going to." As lame as it sounded, it was the truth. Unfortunately, Buffy's bitter laughter told him that she didn't believe him.
" When exactly were you gonna tell me, Spike? The day you left?!!" shouted Buffy. Gone was calm and collected. Hurt and pissed Buffy was returning. Buffy began her own pacing around the living room, enabling Spike to move from his spot in the corner.
" I was gonna tell you tonight." he replied nervously, still not wanting to get too close to her. Buffy stopped her pacing long enough to glare at him.
" I find that really hard to believe, Spike."
" I was!! I was-" he tried.
" It doesn't matter, Spike. You should have told me three weeks ago!" Buffy cut in. Spike didn't have a response to that because he knew that she was right. " You had plenty of time to tell me but you didn't say a word. And what makes it worse is that I had to find out about it from Angel. Of all people, I had to find out from him!!"
" I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." Spike finally moved close enough to try and grab her but she jumped back as if burned.
" Really not arguing with ya there." she barked back, not caring about the hurt look that passed across his features. "You lied to me. After everything that we've-" Buffy cut herself off and let out a deep sigh. " You lied to me."
" Buffy, I didn't mean-"
" Jesus Christ, it's happening again. It's all the same. The job, New York, you not telling me right away. It's all the same. It’s Angel all over again. Only this time, it's worse." It was worse because she loved Spike more than she ever did Angel.
No matter how much Buffy tried, tears were spilling from her eyes as she spoke. Spike's heart broke at the pain that Buffy was obviously feeling. What made it worse was that he was the one that caused it.

" I'm sorry." was the only thing that he could offer. Buffy let out a humorless laugh in response.
" Doesn't matter. At least I know where I stand with you now. At least I know where we stand."
" What does that mean?" Spike question. His heart was beginning to race and he was afraid of how this conversation was starting to turn.
" Oh come on Spike! I'm not stupid! You want to take the job in New York and the reason why you didn't tell me about it was because you were afraid that I'd make you choose. So you figured that you'd wait until the last minute in which case I wouldn't have a choice but to let you go."
" LET me go?" Spike questioned through clenched teeth. " I don't remember asking your permission." Spike knew that he was wrong about not telling her but NO ONE LET him do anything.
" So what I want doesn't matter? You're just gonna make the decision for both of us and I wouldn't have a say in any of this?"
" That's not what I'm doing." he defend.
" So does that mean you're gonna stay? Are you gonna turn down the promotion." Buffy asked hopefully but at the same time she didn’t want to let her guard down.
" Stay? Buffy, pet, this is the opportunity of a lifetime for me. I can't just give that up because-"
" Because of me." she finished.
" I didn't say that." He moved to stand in front of her now.
" You didn't have to." Yep. It was all a repeat of seven years ago.
" I just meant" sighs " This is what I've wanted since for as long as I can bloody remember. I've worked to hard and come too far just to give it all up."
" What about me?" Buffy asked in a voice that made her seem almost childlike.
" Why can't you go with me? What would be so bad about it?" Spike questioned. Buffy looked at him like he was crazy.
" Do you realize what you're asking of me? You're asking me to leave everything and everyone that I love behind and follow you across the country."
" What's wrong with that?" Spike didn't get it. * If she loved me, she be more than happy to leave with me.*
" Everything!!! I can't just leave!"
" If you loved me, you'd-" Spike had the nerve to start that line but Buffy wasn't hearing it.
" Don't you DARE play that card with me. Me not wanting to leave Sunnydale has nothing to do with my love for you and you know it. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything on this earth and if you loved me you'd see that."
" I DO love you. Baby, I love you so much that it scares me sometimes but please PLEASE don't make me choose." Spike pleaded. Buffy looked at him with a sorrow filled expression.
" I think you already did." she returned quietly.

Buffy felt as if her heart was being ripped out and stomped on. Why was it so hard for him to understand her position in all of this.

* He wants to leave. I'm not gonna stand in his way and I'm not gonna beg him to stay. If he wants to go......* apart of her was saying but the mature part of her was screaming,
* What's wrong with you???? The love of your life is about to walk out of it. Don't let him go. What's wrong with going with him to New York? What's wrong with taking that chance?*

Unfortunately, the stubborn side of her won the battle. Instead of giving and going along with his plan, she turned away from him and made her way to the front door. It didn't surprise her when Spike stopped her from exiting the apartment. He turned her around an held her by her waist.

" So that's it? It's over?" Spike asked in disbelief. * How can she act like this? It can't end like this. After everything that we've shared, it can’t end like this.*

Buffy savored the feel of his arms around her, knowing that this was going to be the last time she ever felt this safe or this loved. There was nothing left to say. The only thing she could do was kiss him.

This kiss wasn't filled with passion or promises of more kisses to come.

It was filled with goodbye.

When they broke apart, both of them were breathless. Buffy took a few more steadying breaths and prepared to the words that she never thought she'd say.

" Goodbye...William."

*************************************************************************************

Next