Chapter 1: The Surprise Visit

(September 1995)

Buffy was striding home from Willow's house when she crashed straight into something. She groaned as she lay there, sprawled across the grainy, cool sidewalk, lying completely still in a combination of surprise and momentary pain. Just as she resolved to suck it up and to stand up on her own, a shadow leaned over her and an outstretched hand appeared. As she struggled to her feet, she looked at the hand currently gripping hers with a gentle strength, and slowly looked into the owner, or the shadow. What she saw took what breath she had left away. In front of her stood a guy with a mop of dirty blond curls atop his head. He had chiseled cheek ones, and glasses propped on his nose. But what stood out more then anything else were his blue eyes. She watched him quickly drop her hand and cast his gaze to is shoes. His glasses slid to the tip of his nose and she couldn't help thinking he looked like a lost little boy. As she stepped forward to thank him and apologize forrunning into him she stepped on a book. That's when she realized her surroundings. She was standing next to a U-haul truck in front of the old Peterson place.

“I'm so sorry, I was in a hurry-wasn't watching where I was going. Here, I'll help you with this stuff.” Flashing him an apologetic smile, she bent down gracefully and quickly picked up the books and tablets that had fallen out of the box when it hit the ground. When she stood back up her companion was still raptly eyeing his shoes. “I think I got it all. I hope I didn't ruin anything in there.” She smiled again, cocking her head to the side as he merely looked at her for a moment before his eyes quickly flitted away. Little did he know, Buffy Summers was raised with enough social grace to put others at ease; She shrugged in the direction of the massive house, “Are you moving in here?”

He quickly took the box and only gave her a slight nod before scurrying into the house. As she watched the front door close she couldn't help the slight smile that crossed her face. She couldn't wait to get home and call Willow about this whole incident. She just wished she could have gotten his name before he ran off.

******************************

William stood on the inside of the door breathing deeply, clutching at his box of poetry. He couldn't believe that had just happened. Not only had he acted mute but he had done it in front of a pretty girl. He just wanted to curl up and die after that embarrassing encounter- what she must think of him

“How could you be such a pillock William?” He muttered as he ascended the worn stairs. He continued to berate himself as he unpacked. He hadn't wanted to move here, and he hated his stepfather for forcing the issue. If he had taken the time to analyze his feelings, though, he would have realized that he had hated his stepfather long before the impromptu move. Rupert Giles had been in his life for five years now. William had thought his mother's boyfriend was a nice fellow at first. Soon after they began dating, his mother found out that she had cancer. He had put up with Giles to make his mother happy, but the relationship between the two men was stretched taut. Two years ago she went into remission and yet another bombshell dropped. Rupert and Jenny were getting married and the sooner the better. William hadn't known what to say. In fact, he thought it was all a joke until he had heard his mother say “I do.” He couldn't stand seeing them together. He had locked himself in his room most of the time. Maybe he had been selfish, now that he looked back on it. Then he remembered the last straw that had brought him to be in Sunnydale, California. Three months ago, Giles had been taking his mother out on a date. Giles was driving through an intersection when out of nowhere a drunk driver came barreling straight into his mothers side of the car. So here he stood in a strange room, in a strange town. Maybe it wasn't all Giles fault but William didn't feel like he wanted to admit that yet. He wanted to be angry and Giles was his target. It didn't help either that Giles somewhat blamed himself anyway. It just made it easier for William to believe he was right to be angry with the man. Just then, William was broken out of his hate mantra by a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” spat William angrily.

“Eep It's just me William.” Ah, the one and only reason why he didn't just give up.

“Yeah, come on in.” He smiled as he watched his younger sister bounce in. She was only thirteen but she had the wisdom of a woman twice that age. He guessed she got that from their mother. Tara was a sweetie and she loved everybody. She was small for her age, but William could tell already she would grow into a beautiful woman. Oh, and he'd make sure he was there to scare off any guy that came near her. She was one of the few things that could make him smile since his mother had died.

“Dinner is ready, you coming down?”

“No,” he said assertively. Tara just raised her eyebrows, a tactic familiar to him, “Stop looking at me like that. I don't feel like eating.”

Tara gave him a glare and spoke steadily. “You will not sit up here and sulk all night. I expect you at dinner...understood?” She started to turn to leave but instead looked back at him and finished her demand. “Oh, that was an order in case you misinterpreted it as a question.”

William just stared after her. Tara's increased backbone surprised him more every day. When he came to his senses, he replied. “Bossy chit.”

“You betcha William, and you know you wouldn't have it any other way.”

William just shook his head and reasoned with himself that he wouldn't win this fight. Then he chuckled when he realized he had just let a tween boss him into eating dinner. What was the world coming to?

*************************************************

Buffy sat at the table as she listened to her older sister, Faith, drone on about her day. The only thing Buffy could think about was the new guy. She had realized thinking back to him that most would just write him off as another shy nerd. But she had seen something in his eyes...only a flicker, before they had filled with sadness. She knew there was more to him. And she was going to find out what it was about him that caused her stomach to do that yummy little flip-flop.

“Buffy, sweetie you ok? You've hardly touched your dinner.”

“Yeah, mom... I'm fine, just thinking.”

“Don't strain yourself,” came a snarky reply from her sister as she laughed. Faith got up from the table. “I'm going to the Bronze with a couple friends. I'll be home later.”

“Can I come to?” Buffy asked enthusiastically.

“No, I'm going with friends. Don't need you tagging.”

Joyce spoke up before it could turn into a full-fledge fight. “Maybe this weekend, Buffy, but you have school tomorrow.”

Buffy knew she had lost so she just got up from the table and went to her room. She hated how Faith always got what she wanted. Even when dad had been around it was Faith he paid attention to. Buffy had always been the invisible child to her father. She just wondered when she would be noticed. She stood in front of her full length mirror and looked critically at herself. Her straight brown hair fell just below her shoulders and hazel eyes shone back at her. She just couldn't figure out why everyone ignored her. She took one last look at herself and slammed the door closed on her closet. Joyce had heard and poked her head into her youngest daughters room.

“What's wrong? At dinner you were somewhere else and now you’re slamming doors. You wanna talk?”

“Not really. Mom, why doesn't anyone notice me?” Like any normal teen she had denied wanting to talk and then opened up anyway.

“Sweet heart, what do you mean?”

“Well, Dad never noticed me, and neither does Faith. I just wonder why sometimes.”

“Oh honey, your father was always busy, you know that. As for Faith, she's just going through a phase. She'll grow out of it, you'll see.”

Buffy gave her mom an incredulous look and decided just to drop the subject. “Whatever, if Faith grows out of this phase it will snow here in good ol’ Sunnydale.”

Joyce just shook her head at her daughter and kissed her goodnight.

*********************************************

(June 1999)

Buffy stood on the front porch of her home juggling mail, book bag, purse, and still trying to get the key in the door. This had been the week from hell and she never wanted to see another like it. Early in the week her car had broke down, the mechanic said it would be seven hundred dollars to fix. Which meant she wouldn't have a car till next Wednesday when the Double Meat Palace paid her. She would have asked Willow to pick her up but she was away visiting a college campus. Things just couldn't get worse, or maybe they could. She had just stuck the key in the door and realized it was already unlocked. Everyone knew to lock the door, not even Faith during one of her highs had ever forgotten to lock it. Buffy dropped her stuff by the door and grabbed her stun gun from her purse. She slowly crept through the door and kept her senses open. Trying to pick up on who was there and where. She came around the doorway into the living room and her arm was grabbed by someone. Next thing she knew the person had twisted her body away and her arm was pinned behind her. She was about to scream when she heard a familiar voice come from behind her.

“I wouldn't do that, pet.”

Instead of screaming she squealed and launched herself at the person behind her when she was let go. “William When did you get back? What are you doing here? How did you get here? How long are you staying? Please, please, please say you're staying a while ”

“Well, I see some things still stay the same.”

“What are you talking about? And you're not answering my questions.”

“I'm talking 'bout your babbling. As for the answers, let's see if I'm still good at this... I got back today, I came for your graduation, by plane, probably a week or two, and finally yes, I'm staying a little while. Did I pass?”

“With flying colors.” Buffy squealed again. She was so glad that William had come home to see her graduate. As she stared into his eyes she was suddenly stuck in freeze frame. Her stomach started..flippity, flop... and she quickly jumped back a step or so from him. She couldn't let her body start that again. She had been so excited to have him back she hadn't thought through her actions. She had sworn to herself after he had started dating Faith that she would keep her feelings hidden. She and Faith had slowly grew closer over the years and she didn't want to hurt that relationship. She also didn't want to jeopardize her friendship with William. Now as she thought about it she felt that black shadow creeping over her again. She realized once again that no matter how bad this week had been nothing compared to the worst day of her life, a little over three years ago.

*Flashback*(December 1996)

The Winter formal was coming up at the end of the week. Buffy had been holding out for William, but Friday had seen to the end of that. When he had moved into town last year he had become friends with Xander. She and Willow had had many a gigglefest over Buffy's crush on him. Buffy had been laying hints while in William's presence that she would like to go to the dance. So when she had opened the door on Friday to see him standing there she had jumped to the conclusion he was there to ask her. Then he had burst her bubble by asking her if Faith was there. Her smile had immediately disappeared, and she had gone and gotten Faith from her room. She had eavesdropped on the whole conversation. It had been like someone had stuck a knife in her gut and just. Kept. Twisting. When her sister had said yes, Buffy knew that was the end of her dreams. She had run upstairs and had cried herself to sleep.

She woke up Saturday morning bound and determined to go on with her life. She was heartbroken but she figured she’d get over it. She had to. William had made his choice and once again her sister had been seen, when she had not. She had decided she was going to make some changes. She was sick of being ignored and it was going to end. She had gone to the bank and took out all her babysitting savings. There hadn't been much but she would get what she could. She had then got her mom to drop her off at the mall. Her first stop had been to the hair salon. Then she had gone shopping for clothes and shoes. By the end of the day she had used up her whole savings and her allowance from that week. When her mom had pulled up Buffy knew her mother wasn't happy.

Joyce just stared at who she thought was her daughter. She wasn't sure if it was Buffy at first but then she saw the vibrant hazel eyes and knew that it was indeed Buffy. She wasn't sure what had driven her daughter to do it, but her once straight chestnut brown hair was now curly blond. She couldn't deny that her daughter looked gorgeous, but she had always thought that. Joyce took one more close look at her daughter and realized she must have given a good glare at one point as her daughter stood outside the car fidgeting. Joyce popped the trunk so Buffy could stow her bags. Buffy came to the front of the car then and hopped in. Joyce wasn't sure how she should handle this. She finally just broke the silence.

“Buffy, what is this all about?”

“I wanted a change, mom. Please don't be angry. I know I probably should have said something to you but I wanted to do this.” Buffy's face was looking hopefully at her mother. Joyce realized she couldn't say much about it either. Her daughter was growing up and making some of her own choices.

“I do wish you would have talked to me about it, or at least asked my opinion. It is your decision, though, so I don't have much say.”

Buffy squealed and wrapped her mother in a hug. “Thank you for not being angry mom.”

“Your welcome. Oh and by the way...I think it looks good.” Joyce couldn't help the smile that spread over her face. She knew it sounded almost cliche, but she could swear her daughter had gone into the mall that day a child and came out a woman.

Now as Buffy stood in front of her mirror primping she couldn't stop smiling. She was very happy with the change, and even Faith had complimented her about it. She had ran the brush through her hair one more time and left for school. When she arrived Willow had squealed and told her how good it looked. Buffy had noticed a few people's admiration, and she felt like she was on cloud nine. She had gotten to her locker at the end of the day and found someone leaning against it. When she looked closer she realized it was Parker. He was one of the cutest guys in her grade and pre-William, he had been her crush. Buffy walked the rest of the way to her locker. Parker turned and gave one of his bright smiles and Buffy almost turned into a puddle right there.

“Hey Parker, can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, I was wondering, do you have a date for the formal?”

“No, I don't.”

“Well, would you like to go with me?”

Buffy wanted to squeal but she held it in and simply answered, “I'd love to.” Someone had finally noticed her and she couldn't have been more happier.

*End Flashback*

Now as she stood in front of William she realized no matter how hard she tried she would never stop loving him. She also knew he'd never see her as more then his friend.

Chapter 2: The Turnaround Surprise

William watched as Buffy took a step back. He could not figure out why she would be distancing herself from him. He was about ask her why when she just turned on her heel and walked to the kitchen. He stood there for a bit trying suss out what was wrong. Finally he just gave up and decided to just ask her why she had jumped away from him. When he got to the kitchen though he stood shocked. He hadn’t really taken a good of a look at her in the foyer. Now as the sun gleamed upon her petite figure from the window he noticed the changes in her. Her hair was incandescent, almost pure gold.. He also realized her figure had filled out while he was gone. He couldn’t help but stare at her as she flitted around looking for something. He had always thought she was pretty from the first day that he’d met her, but he had never seen her like this. He couldn’t pinpoint why he was all of a sudden seeing her as a woman instead of a little girl. He wondered why he had ever even thought of her as a little girl. She was only two years younger then him. He watched as she pouted her lower lip out, looking for whatever. William found himself wondering what those lips would taste like. He just wanted to pull her to him and... He was quickly knocked out of his dream world as he realized with a start she was standing right in front of him.

“Huh? What did you say?” he asked, realizing she had spoken.

“I said that I’m sure you don’t want to hang around me all day... especially with the fact you have a girlfriend to surprise with your homecoming.”

William felt like he had been hit in the gut. He had totally forgotten about Faith for a minute. He wanted to hit his head against a wall. He had just been thinking ‘bout kissing one sister while dating another. He felt like such a git. He and Faith had been going out for two and a half years now. Yeah, it hadn’t been all the greatest, especially in the last year. Still though, he loved her, didn’t he? It was too much at the moment. Buffy was right- he should go find Faith, and forget everything that had been going through his mind about Buffy. It had all been a fluke nothing more.

“Yeah I would like to see her. How has she been anyway?” He knew last time he had been back Faith had been having some problems. She had gotten involved with a tough crowd since he’d left for England to go to college. She hadn’t only gotten into the crowd, though, she had gotten into drugs, too. That was another reason why he would push the sudden feelings for Buffy that had risen in him away. Faith didn’t need him ditching her for her sister. First, it was wrong, and second, it would probably send her right back to the drugs.

“She’s been doing well, from what we can tell. She hasn’t been coming home high anyway. It also seems her grades are coming up. Mom takes that as a good sign. Me, I’m not to sure, I think she is hiding something, but so far I can’t figure out what. Let’s put it this way... if she is back into drugs, mom will be heartbroken. So I’m hoping it’s just my imagination.” William just shook his head, understanding where she was coming from.

“Well where can I find her?”

“Oh she has a new apartment down there on Oak. She has been getting help from one of her teachers lately. I think that’s over at four, though. If you do get to her place and she’s not home... here.”

She handed him a key to Faith’s apartment. William gave his thanks for the information and quickly left. He knew he was going to have to forget these feelings or else a lot of people would be hurt in the process.

*******************************************

William had decided to surprise Faith with a little more then just himself. He had stopped by the flower shop and bought a dozen red roses. He had also bought a balloon that said “surprise” across it. “He found himself in front of the apartment complex.” He had buzzed a few times but had gotten no answer. He decided instead of waiting out front he’d go in. He opened the front door with the key that Buffy had given him. He walked in and immediately was in the living room.

Faith hadn’t done much with the place yet, but William figured she had probably just moved in not long ago. He found the kitchen to the left of the living room. He decided he’d put the flowers in water. He searched the cabinets for a vase and couldn’t find any. Then he remembered that she normally kept flowers on her night stand. He looked around the apartment again and realized there was a hall off the right of the kitchen. The first door he came to led into the bathroom. There where only two other doors in the hallway. He was about to open the next door when he heard a noise behind the last door. As he got closer he thought he recognized Faith’s voice. He got a big smile and threw open the door.

“SURPRISE ” William greeted

“Oh Shit ” Said a black man.

William had been the one to get the surprise. There on the bed lay a black man with Faith straddling him. William just stood shocked in the doorway looking back and forth between the two people. Faith just turned her head gave William a big smile and said.

“Wanna join? I’m sure there’s enough room for you, too.”

William ran out of the apartment and never looked back. As he got outside he bent down by a bush and lost his stomach. He had never seen this coming. Yeah, they had their problems, but he never thought she’d cheat on him. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the nausea. All he kept seeing though was Faith turning around and smiling like she thought he would actually accept to join them. He had to get out of there, so he hopped in his rental and sped out of the parking lot.

*************************

Faith was walking towards downtown. After the day she had, had she knew what she needed. She contemplated over the different things that had happened that day. She couldn’t believe William had shown up, and how had he gotten in anyway? She had planned on breaking up with him. It just hadn’t been working out, he was just too proper. She wanted to be able to take what she wanted and then drop the guy without him clinging round. That just wasn’t William, and she had known that. It was probably better that he found out this way instead of her just breaking up with him. Just then William’s face from earlier floated into her mind. She started to feel bad for him, and that just wouldn’t do. She wanted to not care, she just wanted the world to disappear. That was where she was headed, to make the world evaporate away, if only for a little while. She came up on the small apartment building, and buzzed the apartment for Riley’s place. She knew that he would have some of the good stuff. Also, when it came to Riley, you didn’t have to pay with money if you were of the female persuasion.

“Yeah, who’s there?”

“Hey, it’s Faith. Wondering if you had time for company?”

“I don’t know, is this social or business?”

“Let’s say it’s more of the playful business.” A buzz was heard and then Faith opened the door to the apartment complex. When she reached his door, it was already opened. She stood there a moment until Riley spoke up in a husky voice.

“You coming?”

“Not yet but I better be soon.” Faith chuckled the answer. Faith walked through the door and Riley closed it after her. Faith would get what she wanted that night and more. Just some of it ...she wouldn’t want at all.

*******************************************************

William sat in a bar in L.A., whose owner and bartender was a guy named Lorne. You could always count on Lorne knowing the latest gossip. William hadn’t come for gossip tonight, though.

“Hey Lorne, whiskey and keep it coming. I wanna be pissed before I leave tonight.”

“William what the hell happened to you? You look like you did when Dru cheated on you.”

“Pretty much same scenario, just a different chit.”

Lorne just shook his head and stared at the man in front of him. As he watched William he realized that it had been years since this same man, a boy then, had walked in here trying to pull the wool over his eyes. It had been six years since that fall out.

*Flashback*

Lorne was watching the bar and had just seen a kid walk up to the bar. Lorne could tell the kid was having problems. Lorne seemed to almost be able to read people, and if he was reading right, this kid could use someone to talk to. He flagged Gunn over from his break.

“Hey we got a minor at the bar, take over here. Oh and bring two cokes to my office when you get a lull.”

Gunn nodded his head and started working. Lorne walked up behind a kid that couldn’t have been more then fourteen or fifteen. He tapped him on the shoulder.

The kid turned around and looked at Lorne. “Hey kid, come on you don’t belong here...let's get you in the back.”

The kid’s eyes got as big as saucers, but replied. “I’m no kid.”

Lorne just shook his head. “Hey, come on, don’t make me call the cops. Come on back to my office and let's chat. I might just forget about this whole thing.”

William nodded his head and followed after the man. When they got to the office, Lorne pointed to a leather chair in front of the desk. William sat in it and ducked his head.

“So what’s the story kid? You don’t look like you tried this before so what made you try tonight?”

Before he could answer there was a knock on the door and Gunn walked in with the two cokes. He sat the one on the desk and handed the other to Lorne. Gunn left right away to get back to the bar. “So you going to answer me, or do I have to make you sing?”

“How would singing make me talk?”

“It’s called The Greatest Hits of Manilow on repeat ‘til you answer my questions.”

William chuckled at that and threw back, “Oh, that is Torture. Fine...I’ll answer your questions. It was because of a girl.”

*End Flashback*

William had sat there for the next hour and told how he had found his girl Dru cheating on him with some guy. It seemed that when William didn’t go all the way she decided to find it some where else. Lorne had become sort of sounding board for William from that night on. Now William once again sat in front of him because of some girl. This time though, he didn’t have the excuse of age to stop William from drinking. “Come on William, you know that won’t help.”

“Lorne, don’t start. Either you serve me or I will go someplace else. At least if I’m here you can watch me, right?”

Lorne nodded and started pouring the whiskey for him. Four hours later when whole story about this Faith girl was out on the table, Lorne cut off the alcohol.

“William where you staying?”

“In Sunnydale with some friends, since Giles and Tara are out of town.”

“You want me to drive you back there?”

“That'd be great, but how will you get back?”

“I can get a cab back here no problem.” Lorne got William in his coat and in the car. As they hit Sunnydale’s town limits, Lorne woke William up and asked the address for where he was staying.

“1630 Revello Drive two blocks from Gile’s place.”

Lorne shook his head to acknowledge he could find it. He parked in front of the house and went around to help William to the door. They hadn’t even made it to the porch before a short blond came running out. Lorne remembered seeing William flash pictures of her when he’d come to visit. He realized though that no picture would ever do her justice.

“William what happened?” Buffy gave Lorne a disapproving look.

William was out of it so Lorne answered. “He got a little drunk because of a girl? Someone named Faith.” Lorne notice Buffy take a double take at the name but she continued to help William in the house. Once William was laying on the couch though Buffy started asking questions.

“Did you say Faith?”

“Yeah she pretty much pulled a Dru on the poor guy.”

Buffy was seething. If she got her hands on her sister she was going to kill her for doing this to William. They may have grown closer together, but if she had cheated on him that was going to be a rift in that relationship.

“You look familiar...Oh wait, you're that Lorne guy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, the one and only. You're Buffy right?”

“Yeah. William told me a lot about you. He said something about you knowing how to torture really well.”

Lorne let out a laugh and smiled down on the blond. “Well, I have my ways, I guess. Anyway, I have to get back to L.A. Can you take care of him?”

Buffy nodded her head yes and called him a cab. Within thirty minutes Lorne was gone and Buffy was trying to move William up to the guest room. She finally got there and flopped him on the bed. She took his shoes off and started to unbutton his blue shirt. When she looked back at his face his eyes were open and staring into her own. She was frozen in that moment and she watched as William slowly inched towards her lips. Next thing she knew they where in a passionate kiss and she didn’t want it to end. She was the first to break free, because she needed to breathe. As she stared at him, she could see his blue eyes growing darker from lust, she knew this wasn’t good. He was hurt and she had been hiding too many feelings for him. She told herself to just get up, walk out... but she couldn’t.

“William we can’t.”

“Yes, we can. Thanks to your sister, I’m free and I love you.”

Buffy sat shell shocked in front of him. Did he mean that or was it just the talk of a drunk man? Before she could figure it out he was kissing her and she was lost. She had one more thought, that this wasn’t right, before her mind went completely blank.

Chapter 3: The Trouble Begins

Buffy was only lost for a few minutes. She quickly came to as she felt William’s hands caressing the underside of her breast. She would have loved to lay here and finish this, but she didn’t want it to be like that. Right now he was still in so much pain from Faith’s betrayal. She had to be the level headed one here. He was drunk and broken hearted. She pushed him away.

“William, we can’t do this. Not now. You're hurting and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us if one of us regretted this in the morning.” She could see that he had a moment of clarity, because he quickly backed away from her.

“Oh, Buffy. I’m so sorry.” She saw the pain in his eyes. She knew that he had loved Faith. No matter how hard she tried, her sister still had been first.

“William let’s get you into bed and we can talk about this in the morning. Ok?”

“Yeah, you're right. Then I’ll be sober and we can talk.”

“Yeah, we can talk then.” Buffy felt like an idiot, but she didn’t know what else to say. The room's tension seemed to have tripled. She was self conscience of what to say now. She so wanted to throw her morals out the window at this moment, but she didn’t. “Night William.” With that she left.

“Yeah, night.”

*************************************************************************

William sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes after she left. He couldn’t believe what he had almost done. Yes, he could- he was drunk. He didn’t know how he would face her in the morning. Now all the thoughts from earlier in the day were back in the forefront of his mind. He had tried to banish them but they hadn’t gone. Even the whole Faith thing hadn’t hurt as much as it should have. He was more hurt by the fact that he had allowed himself to be trampled on all over again. William realized he was slowly starting to sober up again. He wasn’t sure if that was good or not. As he replayed what had happened moments before with Buffy he realized something. He hadn’t kissed her for comfort but because he had wanted to. He had wanted to, since earlier that day standing in the kitchen. He was also hit with the fact that when morning came he would try to explain that to Buffy. Faith had used him, but he was beginning to wonder if that had been for the better.

***************************************************************************

The next morning was gray and dreary. The skies where overcast and a chill filled the air. You could just tell that no good could come out of a day like this as the residents in the Summers house slept through dawn. Across town there was a startling discovery. Mrs. Johnson walked out of her house to take her dog for a walk. As she hit an alley that went past the back of her house, she turned down it. Normally she would walk past but today her arthritis was acting up. She walked about five feet before she noticed the shadowed heap on the ground. She would have ignored it as trash if Sam, her little black terrier, wouldn’t have started barking at it.

“Sam, come on, leave the trash alone.”

“Ruff, ruff, grrrrrl, ruff.”

“I’m not in the mood for this. I want to get home and watch 'Fox and Friends'.” She finally gave up and started winding the leash around her arm. Once she was close enough she bent down and scooped Sam into her arm. As she slowly stood back up she realized what the heap was.

“Oh, my...”

She could see that it was a person, covered up in a blanket, hunched over. She moved to stand beside whoever it was and shook their shoulder.

“Excuse me Sir, Miss? Are you awake?” She tried several more times to no avail. Now she was getting worried. She finally just pulled the blanket off the person. She let out an ear piercing scream. Laying there under the blanket was a young women in her early twenties. She looked like she was peacefully sleeping. Mrs. Johnson knew better though, the women was to pale to be asleep. There was also too much blood pooled around the body. Mrs. Johnson hurried back to her house and called the police. She explained to them what she had found and they promised to be right out. After hanging the phone up she sat back into her rocker. She knew the police would want to talk to her, so she waited. But while she sat there waiting she sent a prayer to the heavens that the young women’s soul would find peace.

*************************************************************************

As Joyce Summer’s drove home she had an ominous feeling about the day. Earlier that morning she had awoken and felt something was wrong. She had pushed it away, knowing that if there were any problems someone would have called her. They all knew where she was and had the number. Now as she got closer to home she could feel dread pushing down on her. Something was wrong and she knew it, she just prayed that her girls where alright. She was thirty minutes from home, so what ever it was she would soon have to face it. Suddenly her cell rang, she smiled when she caught sight of the name on the caller ID.

“Hey, sweetie, how are you?”

“Fine, except that I woke up in bed alone.”

“I know .I should have told you, but you looked so peaceful. Anyway, I just can’t get that nagging feeling to go away. I’m afraid something is wrong.”

“Now, Joyce, come on, you know they would have called had something drastic happened.”

“I know, that’s what I would think too, but I trust my gut on this one. Something is wrong. I know it.”

“It’s alright. I understand. Had it been me with the gut feeling I’d probably do the same thing. Anyway, what time do you want me to stop by today?”

“Anytime after you get back. You know, we are going to have to face our kids sometime? When do you think we should break the news?”

“I think this weekend will be a good time. If they haven’t figured something out already.” Joyce could hear Giles on the other side of the phone laughing.

“Yeah I know. Well, I’m driving into Sunnydale now so I’ll talk to you when you get back in town.”

“Oh okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Joyce hung up after that. She knew that they had to tell their perspective children about them dating. She knew that, but she had rather grown to like their trysts these last few months. Now was time to tell them though, especially now that William was finally home. Even though she wasn’t supposed to know. She had pulled it out of Rupert the other night. She pulled up out side the house and parked in the driveway. Home Sweet Home.

************************************************************************

Meanwhile, during Joyce’s conversation with Giles, William stood in her kitchen whisking eggs. Just then Buffy walked in, her hair was tousled from sleep, and you could tell she hadn’t had her morning cup of coffee yet. He realized once again how beautiful she was.

“What are you staring at dough boy?”

“First coffee, then you can talk before you say something you’ll regret.”

Buffy humphed but did as he had said. After drinking down half the mug she sat down at the island. William wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of what had happened the night before. He knew he wanted to tell her about how he thought he felt about her. He also knew she might not feel the same. But after last night he had a feeling she did.

“Buffy...”

“William...” They both said in unison.

Buffy pointed to William to go first and he accepted. “Listen I know last night looks like a mistake. I don’t believe it was though. I realize I shouldn’t have gone about it the way I did last night. But I’m not sorry that we kissed. I’d like to see if this could lead some where, because I know I love you. Now I want to find out if I can fall in love with you.” William finished gasping in a breath of air. He had said it all in one breath.

Buffy just sat there starring at him. At first he wondered if she had gone into shock. Then he saw a smile break across her face, but it quickly turned into a grimace.

“How dare you use me as a rebound I will not let you use me to get back at my sister. Is that understood? ” After her out burst she stomped out of the kitchen. William just stared at the stool that she had been sitting on. Once it registered, he ran after her. He caught up to her at the bottom of the steps. He grabbed her elbow and twirled her to face him.

“Buffy Summers, if you believe that I would use you as revenge against your sister then I know you’re senile.” William watched as her eyes filled with rage, and he realized he had made a mistake in that last sentence. Next thing he knew he was on his butt with blood trailing down his lip from his nose. He watched as the rage slipped off Buffy’s face to be taken over by horror at what she had done. She ran back to the kitchen as William tried to stand up. Once he was sitting on one of the steps, Buffy reappeared with a towel in hand.

“Oh, William I’m so sorry. Please forgive me I didn’t mean to but you had me so pissed off. I just don’t want to be used and that’s what I had assumed you where looking to me for. As a rebound girl.”

“No that’s not what I’m looking for, I want to truly try this.”

“How can you be so sure that this isn’t just a rebound? I mean you loved Faith for two and a half years. Of course you would be hurt. So you would be looking for a rebound. It’s only natural.” William figured Buffy knew she had babbled but he decided not to say anything. She had said what she had to.

“There is only one problem with that statement luv.” Buffy looked at him quizzically. “I didn’t love her.” William watched as Buffy backed up to the wall where the coat rack sat. She left her body slide down until she was in a sitting position. He could see the shock that statement had had on her.

“What do you mean you never loved her?”

“Mean just that. I figured it out last night while I talked to Lorne. I hadn’t loved her. It was just a safe relationship, or so I’d thought. I was more hurt by the fact that I had let myself get used again. But really in the end we had used each other. Neither of us loved the other one, we’d just been in a holding pattern since I left two years ago. Neither of us breaking it off, too afraid how the other would take it, or at least that was my problem.” William stood up from the steps. His nose had stopped bleeding, and he knew it wasn’t broken. He had already checked that out.

He walked over to her and grabbed her elbow once again. He lifted her to a standing position, and lifted her head so he was looking her in the eyes. “I want to try this, please say we can?” William watched as Buffy nodded her head. He could see it in her eyes that she meant it. He whooped and grabbed her round the waist and twirled them both around. When he sat her back down he lifted her chin and caught her lips in a kiss. He pushed her against the wall and braced his weight with his arms, as the kiss became passionate. They never heard the door open. They didn’t know anybody was there till they heard the person say.

“WILLIAM LEROY CALENDER, WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING????? ”

Chapter 4: Breaking up Isn't Hard to Do

Joyce now sat in the kitchen at the island. William and Buffy had explained to her what had been going on. She couldn’t believe after everything Faith knew about William that she had cheated on him. Joyce just wasn’t sure about her daughter anymore. Oh, she loved her- nothing could ever change that- but she also knew that sometimes love wasn’t enough. She wondered whether she had somehow done something wrong in raising Faith. Joyce knew that once again her daughter had been using. She hadn’t said anything to Buffy yet. She had found out two weeks back. Faith had shown up on the doorstep high again. Buffy had been over at Willow’s and Joyce had been glad for that. She knew that she couldn’t have done what she had if Buffy’d been there.

*Flashback*

“Faith, what are you doing here so late?”

“Hey mom, can I come in?”

Joyce just stood there, staring at her daughter; she could tell that Faith was high again. She knew what she had to do, because Faith had left her no choice. “No Faith, I will not let you in the house. I told you last time you went clean if you ever showed up here again high, that you wouldn’t be allowed in. I meant it then and I’m enforcing it now.”

Faith had continued to stare at her for several minutes, not understanding. Then all of a sudden Joyce saw that it had clicked. Faith automatically went on the defensive. “What? How can you not let me in? Please, mom, I need someplace to sleep. Please, please, please.” Faith started crying in earnest then. “Mommy, I need your help... please let me in?”

Joyce’s heart broke as she watched her daughter. She didn’t want to have to do this, but she knew she had to. “Faith, I love you and I always will, but I can’t help you. You have to want this yourself, I’m sorry. I will take you back to your apartment, okay?”

The expression on Faith’s face went from pleading to anger. “Forget it ” she screamed. “I don’t need your help anyway. I can get back to my apartment on my own, thank you. I just thought you loved me, but I guess I was wrong. You know, I hate you. I bet if this was precious little Buffy you wouldn’t turn her away. Oh no, couldn’t hurt poor Buffy, Buffy must be protected at all cost. Does she even know, have you even thought about telling her, that she isn’t actually your daughter?”

At that, the look on Joyce’s face became one of shock. “What are you talking about Faith, you really have lost it this time haven’t you?” Joyce could hear the venom in her voice but she didn’t care at this moment. Faith was right; she had protected Buffy all these years, but she couldn’t let on to that.

“Oh what, mom, didn’t think I remembered about Buffy, did ya? I’ve known for years, but it never mattered then. I knew daddy loved me, I knew she wasn’t even on his radar screen. She was the mistake that he had wanted to disappear; instead he faced it everyday. That’s why he left. I know it and so do you. You probably knew that when you brought her into our home. You knew that dad would get fed up seeing his little bastard child so he’d leave. Well, I’m sick and tired of pretending. How can you love someone else’s child more than your own?”

Joyce knew then that all of her promises to give Buffy a happy normal life had probably flown out the window. She had tried so hard to keep her promise and now most likely her jealous daughter would break it. “Faith, I don’t love her more, and if Buffy showed up like you are now I probably wouldn’t let her in either. I love you but I can’t watch you throw your life away like this. You are my flesh and blood and nothing could ever change that, but I also love Buffy. Maybe you can’t understand that, but I do. I’m sorry it had to come to this, but if you want to come back in the morning when you're not high we can talk then. Now, do you need me to drive you to your apartment?”

“No, I don’t, thank you very much.” Faith said snidely. “Oh, and tell the precious I said ‘hi’.”

*End Flashback*

Faith had walked away then, and Joyce hadn’t heard anything from her since. She had figured that Faith would go straight to Buffy and tell her the truth, but after three days had gone by with no questions from Buffy, she had deemed it safe for now. Joyce knew she would have to tell Buffy sooner or later. She just didn’t know how. How do you tell your daughter that she isn’t really your daughter? Joyce was brought back from her contemplative state by Buffy’s waving hand.

“You didn’t go catatonic on me there, did you?” Buffy giggled at her own joke then continued. “Listen mom, I know this is surprising news about me and William, but I love him. I’ve loved him for years, but I was resigned to the fact that he’d never love me. As for the Faith thing-- I love her I really do-- but she is the one that lost out. I doubt she will like this but I’m not sacrificing my happiness for her. I hope you can be happy for us?”

Joyce looked into Buffy’s eyes and could tell that she really wanted this, and that she was truly happy about it. “I’m not saying I like this, but I’m happy for you. I would think it appropriate though if you went and explained it to Faith. Don’t let her find it out from a third party, okay?”

“Sure mom.” Buffy went to leave then.

“Buffy, wait we need to talk. I have something I need to tell you.” Joyce knew she had to tell her now or she might never get to.

Buffy turned around and started to say something when there was a knock at the front door.

*******************************************************

William stood in the doorway which led from the kitchen onto the back porch. Tara sat on the swing, softly humming. He listened to her sweet voice as it hummed to their mother’s favorite song. When she had finished, she turned her head and smiled at him.

“Are you going to stand there all day William, or does your little sister get a hug?”

“I’ll give you one better.” William scooped Tara up into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. He took a step back and just looked at her. Then he hugged her again.

“So how have you been?”

William then proceeded to tell her what had happened the day before when he had arrived. She just sat there and took it all in; then she slapped him.

“Hey, what was that for?”

“Being a dumb butt and drinking. You know how I don’t like that.”

“Well I sorta hoped you missed that part.” William said with a chuckle.

“Well I didn’t miss it and I still think it was a stupid thing to do. Oh, and I will be talking to Lorne when I see him next; he should know better.” Then a wry smile crossed Tara’s face. “Oh and also... I.told.you.so ” She then got up and walked back inside, leaving William wondering what she was getting at. He walked into the kitchen where she was standing at the sink.

“Hey, what do ya mean told me so?”

“Think back to the first week we moved in here. What did I....” Tara trailed off when the phone rang. William picked up the phone and heard Xander’s voice.

“Hey buddy what’s up... you still pining over Cordy?”

“First of all, no, I’m not- but this isn’t a social call. It’s business.”

William felt his stomach drop. If this was business it couldn’t be good. “What do you mean business? Xander, has something happened to Giles?” Although Giles and William still disagreed on a lot of things, William had grown to look at him as a father now. However, he still refused to call him that.

“Nothing is wrong with the G-man. But I think you should get over to Buffy’s ASAP. I can’t tell you what’s going on but you need to be there.”

“Ok, we’ll be there.” William hung the phone up and told Tara to get her coat they were leaving.

*******************************************************

While William talked with Tara, Buffy sat in the kitchen waiting for her mom, who had gone to answer the door. She wondered what her mom had wanted to talk about. Before she could put anymore thought to it, she heard her mom calling her.

“Buffy, Buffy come here now.”

“Mom what is it?”

“Your boyfriend of two months is standing on our front porch with a smile. Let me guess-- you haven’t had a chance to break up with him, huh?”

Buffy realized that while dealing with all the commotion with William, she had totally forgotten about her ‘Normal all American Boyfriend’. They had only been dating for a short time, but he was a nice guy. She had to tell him-- she knew that-- but she was sorry that it would hurt him. She quickly walked out onto the porch. She looked around at first and couldn’t find any sign that there was anyone there. Then he came around from the side.

“Oh. I was beginning to wonder if you had skipped town.” The young man chuckled.

Buffy just smiled and walked over to him. She gave quickly hugged him and stepped back. He gave her a bewildered look and she knew this was it. “Riley, we need to talk.”

*******************************************************

As William parked in front of Buffy’s house, Tara’s eyes were drawn to the front lawn. There she could see Riley yelling something at Buffy, but couldn’t hear it. She saw William’s jaw tighten. She reached out and put her arm on his to calm him down.

“That’s Riley Finn. Remember he’s in the same year as Buffy, Willow, and me. Buffy and he were dating. I guess she’s breaking up with him. He’s a nice guy, but a little boring at times. You don’t think this is why Xander wanted us here?”

“I doubt it. Xander made it sound like it was police business.” Tara raised her eyebrows at that. She could tell he was probably thinking the same thing as she was, but voiced her thoughts anyway. “Faith is in trouble again, isn’t she?”

“I’m pretty sure. Xander sounded off though, and I can’t figure out why. I mean this isn’t anything new. Faith has been getting picked up by the police a lot in the last two years.”

Tara had her suspicions, but she would keep them to herself. She hoped that this ominous feeling would go away. She didn’t want to be right about this. Tara watched as William exited the car, and then followed him. They walked across the lawn towards the fighting couple. *******************************************************

Buffy saw them coming across the lawn. She wasn’t sure how this would end, but she figured not well. She had been standing there fighting with Riley for a little over ten minutes. He had gone through the whole ‘we can work this out,’ until she had landed the final blow. She’d told him that she was in love with someone else. That’s when Riley had accused her of cheating on him. Now that William was there though, she was done with it all. She had spoken her piece and done the right thing. Now she had to get Riley out of there before he made a complete jerk of himself.

“Riley, I think you should go home now. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but what was between us is over. You know it wasn’t working, just like I do. Now, if you would please leave.”

She watched as Riley turned around and came face to face with William. “Is this who you left me for?” He asked incredulously, then shook his head and started to walk off. Then suddenly he turned around and decked William, which then started an all out brawl. Both Tara and Buffy tried to get them to split it up, but neither of the men were listening.

“Hey, hey, break it up right now.” Buffy looked up and found Xander and two other familiar looking cops breaking the fight apart.

Buffy quickly walked to William and started checking him over, making sure he was okay. Then she looked at Riley and said, “Get out of here, Riley. I told you we’re over.” She watched Riley huff off and prayed that would be the last time she ever saw him again. Then she turned back to everyone in her front yard. That’s when she got the off feeling that something was wrong. She knew then that Riley had been the least of her problems today.

*******************************************************

Joyce was on her way to the front yard to see how the conversation was going between Riley and her daughter. She reached the front door, but before she could open it she heard a scream that she would never forget for the rest of her life.

“Oh God, NO MOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!”

Chapter 5: Letting the Pain Go

Joyce rushed outside and quickly took stock of the situation. Tara stood behind William silently crying, while a sobbing Buffy was entangled around him. William himself was on his knees with a shell-shocked look upon his face. As she looked back up, Joyce caught sight of Xander walking towards her. She knew that this was the reasoning behind her doomed feeling. Something terrible had happened, and what ever it was had hit them all.

“Mrs. Summers, I’m afraid we found Faith this morning.”

Joyce interrupted him then; she was afraid of what he would say next. “But she’s alright, isn’t she?” She knew from the look on Xander’s face that Faith wasn’t alright. “Oh no, please don’t tell me, she’s not....?” She couldn’t seem to finish any sentence and Xander seemed to understand that.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Summers, but Faith is dead.”

Joyce stood there shocked, nonetheless, once the words left his mouth. She must have started to faint because one minute she was standing and the next she was being held up by her arms against Xander. When she looked towards Buffy, she found her vision had blurred from the tears falling from her eyes. Right now all Joyce wanted to do was wrap Buffy up in her arms and remind herself that no matter whose genes Buffy had, she was her daughter. Following that train of thought, though, reminded Joyce that the last time she’d seen Faith had been during the fight from two weeks before. The sob that tore through Joyce with those thoughts left anyone hearing it realize that she was hurting not just emotionally, but physically as well. Joyce soon found herself wrapped in Buffy’s arms and they both sat there and cried until there were no tears left.

******************************************************************

William stood back with Xander while Tara helped both Buffy and Joyce into the house. The two other officers had slipped away, realizing that this was personal and that neither of them belonged. Once the girls were out of earshot, William turned around and stared pointedly at Xander. “I want to know what the hell is going on. All the details, understood? And don’t pull that 'this is police business' crap on me. I want know everything.”

“I figured as much. Why do you think I called you? I figured with you being her boyfriend and all you’d be ready to kill.”

William became pensive after hearing Xander refer to him as Faith’s boyfriend. They had been that just twenty-four hours ago. It may not have been love any more but he still cared about Faith and right now all he wanted to do was break down and mourn. First, though, he had to take care of Buffy and Joyce. Later tonight he’d grieve, once he was alone. Then he’d seek revenge on whoever had taken Faith’s life. “We weren’t dating anymore. I showed up at her apartment yesterday, and she was there with another man.” William waved his hand to stop Xander from asking the hundred questions he knew he had. “Yes, I can give you a description, but later. Right now I want to be here with Joyce and Buffy. Also, yes, I have an alibi. I was in L.A. and then here with Buffy last night. Does that answer enough of your questions for now?”

“Just about. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. So are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I’ll get the details about that guy from you later. Let Buffy know I’ll be back, but right now I have to get back to the station. I’ll have to get statements from both Buffy and Joyce then about the last time they saw Faith. For now watch over them.”

********************************************************

Buffy now lay on a bed hugging Mr. Gordo close to her heart. She ran her hand over the deep black comforter as her eyes traveled around the room, appreciating the one who’d lived here. She got off the bed with the pink pig held tight, and moved towards the desk. There on top sat a picture of her and Faith. It had only been taken a few months back. Buffy didn’t know when everything had changed. For years, Faith had treated Buffy as an outsider; like she didn’t belong. Then when Faith cleaned up from the drugs, it was like she was a different person. Buffy had felt as if they were getting closer. Then, within the last month, Faith had started to pull away again. Buffy had wondered if maybe it was because Faith was using drugs again, but she had thought Faith was stronger then that.

Buffy slammed her fist on the desk and the picture toppled to the floor. She clutched Mr. Gordo tighter to her chest and let out a loud sob. The next thing she knew, she found herself being held close to a hard chest, which just caused her to cry harder. She didn’t know what to do anymore; she felt lost and alone and yet she wasn’t. It made no sense to her, so she just stopped thinking about it. She held tight to whomever was holding her, and she let the feelings out. While she cried, the pig lay on the floor where it had fallen, inches from her hunched form.

****************************************************

William had seen Buffy standing in the bedroom when he came to the door. She had been holding the stuffed pig like it was a life line. At first, he merely stood back, having figured that this was her time to be alone, and that if she needed someone, he would be close by. As William watched Buffy stare at the picture and start to cry, all he had wanted to do was wrap her into his arms and never allow anything to hurt her ever again. He was brought out of his thoughts by glass breaking. When he looked back at her, he saw she’d fallen to her knees. Then his eyes where drawn to the broken frame that now lay upon the floor.

William stayed where he was until he heard a sound that could have caused the skies themselves to cry. William quickly took Buffy into his arms and held her tight. For a brief moment, he thought she was going to push him away; but then she wrapped her arms around his torso. He rocked her back and forth while whispering soothing words of comfort in her ear. William didn’t know if the words were calming Buffy, but they were calming him. He didn’t know how long they sat there before Buffy’s sobs turned into trickling tears. What William did know was that when Buffy pulled back, he couldn’t have stopped what he did next even if he had wanted to.

**********************************************************

Joyce sat on the front porch steps waiting. She had called Giles just minutes before, and he said that he was only forty-five minutes outside of Sunnydale. He had immediately wanted to know what was wrong, but she had just told him to come straight to her house. Joyce knew she should call Hank but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She watched the road for a few more minutes, wondering why time seemed to have slowed down. Then she heard the door open behind her. Tara walked out with two cups of tea, handing one to Joyce and setting the second on the step next to her.

“That’s for dad when he gets here.” She turned around and started walking to go back inside.

“How did you know?”

“I’m good at these things, that’s all.” She got a mischievous grin across her face. “Also, I overheard your phone call.” With that she went back inside.

Five minutes later, Giles drove up. Once he made it to the porch, he reached down and pulled Joyce to her feet. Then he cuddled her to him. She started crying again and once again she wondered if she could make it through this. Weren’t you supposed to die before your kids? She just didn’t understand; she knew that her daughter was dead but her mind just couldn’t wrap itself around that fact.

“Now Joyce what has happened?”

“Faith is dead.” she answered quietly.

Giles pulled back from her and stared deeply into her eyes. Joyce knew his eyes were searching for a different answer, but like her, he would find no other answer. Faith was dead, and there was nothing any of them could do about it. Joyce watched as Giles seemed to lose all muscle strength and slumped to the porch steps where she had been minutes before.

“How? I don’t get it. Are they sure it was her?”

“Xander was the one to tell me. I’m guessing he had double checked -- maybe even triple checked -- before telling us.”

“Yeah, I know he is like that.” Giles said while reaching up and taking his glasses off. She half expected him to start cleaning them but he didn’t. Instead he just rubbed his hand over his face like a sudden tiredness had come over him. She realized how much had changed in just the few short hours since she’d left him at the hotel. Mostly though, she wondered if anything would ever be the same again.

************************************************************

Buffy felt William’s lips on hers and for a few seconds she was shocked, but then she started returning the kiss. They kissed until both of them needed to breathe. Buffy pulled back and then rested her head against William’s shoulder.

“Wow.” She whispered.

“What was that?” William asked with a chuckle in his voice.

Buffy looked back at him. He smiled at her but it didn’t reach his eyes. She knew that he must be hurting as much as she was, and yet he tried to be strong. Sometimes she could hardly believe this was still the same boy who stood outside his house and wouldn’t look her in the eye. He had changed so much since that first meeting. From his outward appearance, one would expect him to be some geeky, wimpy schoolboy, and he let people think what they wanted.

Only those that really knew William were aware that he could take anyone in a fight. Buffy was surprised he had shown so much restraint with Riley earlier. Although she shouldn’t have been -- Giles had taught him well. Buffy could still remember William showing up at her house instead because he didn’t want to go home and worry Giles.

*Flashback*

“Oh, no. William, what happened?”

“Got caught by Mr. Harris while helping Xander to run away.”

“WHAT!”

“Xander decided he was getting out of there. So I helped him get out tonight. Would have worked too if not for my clumsiness. I ended up knocking down one of the flower boxes and got my foot stuck in a rabbit hole. Well, the noise woke up Mr. Harris, and when Xander was nowhere to be found, he figured out what had happened.”

“That Xander had run off and you had helped?”

“Yeah. He wanted to know where ‘His Boy’ was. I wouldn’t tell him and that was when he did this.” William said, pointing to his bruised face.

“Well, I have to call Giles.”

“No, don’t -- he’ll just be angry.”

“No, he won’t.... He cares about you no matter what you think.”

“Yeah, right. With all the shit I give him he really cares. Right.”

“William Calendar, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Buffy said with a chuckle and then promptly blanched. “Oh William, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it that way.” William nodded but Buffy saw the pain that lay behind his blue eyes. She wanted to do anything to make what she’d said better. She knew he didn’t show pain though, so she compromised. “Fine, I’ll help you out.” She knew that her mom would be home soon anyway. Buffy knew the minute her mom saw William that she’d be on the phone to Giles. <BR.
“Thanks. Do you have anything that I can use to clean up?”

“Yeah, in the bathroom under the sink.”

*End Flashback*

Buffy had been right though. Her mother was on the phone to Giles the minute she got home. When Giles had shown up, he had looked pissed. Buffy knew that William had thought Giles was mad at him but Buffy had known better. Within a week, Giles had started teaching William how to take care of himself. William hadn’t wanted to press charges against Mr. Harris, as he was too afraid the police would then try to find Xander. That was one thing that William never did tell anyone. Xander would show up for school and afterwards, would promptly disappear. No one but William ever knew where he was.

As for Mr. Harris, he got his just dues too. Right after William was beaten up, someone had ‘supposedly’ jumped Mr. Harris. He always claimed that he had hit his assailant back and they looked worse than he did. Buffy and her friends all thought that they knew what had happened but never pushed, because Giles had bruised knuckles the morning after Mr. Harris’ ‘attack’. Buffy knew though, that had William wanted to, he could have taken Riley earlier today. She also knew that Giles had always taught him you only do what you must, and he had. He’d kept Riley from hurting himself or William. As she looked at William, Buffy realized how strong he really was. She also knew that he’d keep his feelings to himself if she allowed him. She loved him for that strength but she didn’t need him to be strong right now. Right now she needed to see what he was going through too. She reached up and caressed his cheek lovingly.

“William, I love you -- don’t shut me out. I know you loved my sister, or you wouldn’t have worried about hurting her. You don’t have to be strong for me. Just be here.” She watched as his eyes slowly filled with tears which ran down the contours of his sharp cheek bones. They both held each other close both crying for the woman they’d never see alive again. She had lost a sister; he, an ex-lover.

Chapter 6: Love and Pain

William walked into the living room with two cups of cocoa in his hands. Buffy sat talking on the phone. He had told her she didn’t have to, but she had insisted that she needed something to do. So here she was, making the phone calls to Faith’s family and close friends. She was on the phone with Hank at the moment. She had insisted on calling him, because she wouldn’t put her mother through that. William watched her closely and what he saw didn’t make him happy.

“Listen to me! I don’t care if he is in a meeting or if he is simply giving you an ‘oral pep-talk’, I WANT TO SPEAK WITH HIM NOW!” William watched as her eyes narrowed. He figured whatever had been said wasn’t to her liking, because the next thing he heard was the phone slamming on the cradle. “Bitca.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get through to him?” Buffy's eyes shot daggers at William and he backed up and brought the mugs up into view. “Peace offering?” For good measure, he added the puppy dog eyes. Hey, he’d admit it. He used them when they gave him the advantage. He watched as Buffy slowly gave up. She rolled her shoulders and he watched as the tension disappeared from her face.

“You know, that is cheating. I can never stay angry when you use the puppy look.”

William acted offended. “Well, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Buffy just shook her head at him and pointed towards the cups in his hands. “Chocolaty goodness would be of the order, now,” she said. She then raised her eyebrow at him, when he seemed to take too long to hand over the mug.

“As you wish.”

Buffy chuckled as she blew on her cocoa, trying to cool it down. She looked over the mug at him. “You've been watching The Princess Bride again, haven’t you?”

William smiled. “Maybe. And what if I was? It has great fights in it.”

“Uh huh, like that is why you actually like it.”

William just shook his head. “A man just can’t get any respect from you, Miss Summers.”

Her smile turned into a scowl. “Yeah, well there's one man that will never get my respect.”

*********************************************

Buffy stood by the grave as they lowered the casket into the ground. She had refused to leave when the minister had asked her to. William had stayed when Joyce had shown concern about leaving Buffy alone. Buffy couldn’t have thanked him enough, though. She had always seen herself as a strong woman, but seeing Faith lying in the casket earlier had done her in. As she looked into the casket at the funeral home she could have sworn Faith was just sleeping, making Buffy wonder for a moment if it had all just been a sick practical joke. She knew, though, that Faith was dead. At that moment she broke, turning into the little girl she had been trying to hide all week. William had wrapped her in his arms like he’d done in Faith’s bedroom, and she had continued to cry. He had stayed close all through the funeral and gathering at the burial plot. She had refused to leave though. She swore she wouldn’t leave here until they had buried her sister. She seemed to get the inkling that William understood her feelings. He stood back and waited for her. She bent down when the last pile of dirt was patted down, and laid a rose on it. She had picked one which was a shade of the deepest red she could find, and made sure it was covered in thorns. In a gentle whisper, she reminded herself what Faith had said to her a few months back.

‘The beauty of life doesn’t come without pain, sister.’

Buffy walked back to William then, and kissed him gently on the lips. It wasn’t a kiss of passion though. It was a kiss that reminded her that the pain had been high lately but that there was still beauty in her life.

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Rupert Giles watched Joyce look out the window again. She had been doing the same thing every couple of minutes since they had arrived back at the house. He walked over to her, slid his arms around her waist, and pulled her to him. Laying his chin on her shoulder, he whispered in her ear.

“Don’t worry, she'll be fine.”

“How am I going to tell her, Rupert?”

Giles sighed. She had told him just days before about Buffy not being her biological daughter. “I think she’ll see that you made a promise and tried to keep it. I really believe you have to tell her. You have lived with this secret long enough, and she deserves to know.”

“What if she no longer wants me after she finds out?” Giles moved his hands from around her waist and stood up straight. He waited until she turned and looked at him. Cupping her cheek with his hand, he looked straight into her eyes. “You will always be her mother, no matter what. I believe Buffy is smart enough to realize that, and if she doesn’t then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Joyce gave a small smile then turned her head and kissed the palm orf his hand. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Now, stop worrying about her. She is with William, who is probably the best one to be with her right now. I think he took a small trip down memory lane today.”

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William stood with his back to the tree that shadowed Faith’s burial plot. Buffy stood about five feet away, silently crying as she watched the casket being lowered into the ground. As William watched, he was transported to four years before, but it was him instead of Buffy.

William stood next to a hole, and watched a baby blue casket, his mother’s favorite color, slowly lowered. Every inch it fell deeper into the hole. All he had wanted to do at that point was jump in there with it and let them bury him too. Then he had felt a slight wind brush across his face. When he looked in the direction from which it came, he saw Tara standing in the distance watching him. He knew then that he couldn’t do it; he couldn’t be the reason she lost another person in her life. Even if he did feel miserable.

Now he stood watching Buffy and knew he was thankful that he hadn’t given up. He hadn’t noticed back then that sometimes life was just worth living. That was what he was doing now. It had taken him a while to start living again, but if anything good had come out of this last week, it had been that revelation. He was living again. Not just walking through the days, but actually living them. It had taken thinking about Tara to remind him not to give up, but Buffy had caused him to see that he had to continue to live.

He was drawn back from his thoughts by Buffy. She had bent down to the closed grave and laid a rose on it. He watched as she whispered something and then stood. She walked to him slowly and as she reached her hand up, he bent his head down. When he was close enough, she kissed him. He could tell that there was a difference to the kiss, but he wasn’t sure why. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and once again she cried on his shoulder. He waited until she had calmed down. “You wanna leave yet?”

“Not really... can we just sit a bit?” William took his gray overcoat off and laid it on the grass. He sat with his back against the tree and waited for her to sit. She maneuvered her skirt and sat down, leaning against him. After a long silence, he spoke up. “So, what’s bothering you?”

“Did you ever really love my sister, or was it just a safe relationship for you?” William wasn’t sure where this was going, but he wasn’t sure he liked where it might lead. “Why are you asking this?”

Buffy rephrased the question. “Did you love her in the beginning and then have your feelings change over time, or was it more of a friendship between you two from the beginning?”

“I don’t know about her, but for me it was an attraction that never went past friendship. We played the couple, but not much more. Like I said the other day, it was safe, and I figured I wouldn’t get hurt.” William thought for a few more minutes then finished up by saying. “After everything with my mother, I never wanted to love again. So what Faith and I had was easy. I never had to lose someone I cared about again, or so I thought. When I first met her, I thought she was the person who I wanted to be with. Someone who didn’t care about anybody or anything. Then I realized that for her it was just a facade. Through the relationship, I think we both changed. I slowly came to the realization that you couldn’t live life without pain, and I wanted to live. Faith, on the other hand, just wanted the pain to go away, and she didn’t care how she made it disappear. I figured that’s why she turned to drugs. I didn’t know for sure though. After that, we pretty much stopped talking to each other. Why is this so important?”

“William with everything that has been going on I’m just worried we’ll end up like you and Faith. You just staying with me so as not to hurt me, or us just staying together because it’s ‘safe’.” William was quiet for a long time. He mulled over what she had said and he knew exactly what he had to do.

“Maybe we should break up then?”

****************************************************************

In a small stone crypt a few feet away from Faith’s plot stood a shadow among the dead. It watched on with keen brown eyes and soaked up the pain that surrounded it. It had started this whole thing in motion and slowly things where falling into place. It watched as Buffy ran away from William crying. It loved the pain, but didn’t have time to just stand around, as there was much more to be done. The shadow would have its revenge and get what it was due. After William had gone after Buffy, the shadow made its way slowly out of the crypt. The sun had set below the horizon, so it was easy to stay hidden. The shadow skulked towards the dug up dirt where Faith lay beneath, and reached down to pick up the rose that lay there. Buffy would see this rose again and realize what pain really was. Slowly, the shadow receded into the darkness that permeated the cemetery, but not before whispering a farewell. Anyone listening could have heard it in the slight breeze.

“They all will feel pain for what they have taken.”

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