Chapter One


"Will, this is going to be great!" Buffy exclaimed as she took hold of her best friend, William Giles' hand. William smiled nervously at her as she pulled him up the winding wooden staircase, his blue eyes darting around and taking in everything around him. Buffy beamed brilliantly at him, her green eyes sparkling and her blond hair bouncing with each step. William brushed his honey brown curls from his eyes and tried not look as fearful as he felt.

Landing on the third floor, on the all season porch with windows all around
and blue flooring, Buffy knocked on the door and a man with dark hair and
a moustache came to the door. He wore jeans and a t-shirt and he smiled at
Buffy. "Hey Buffy, how you doing?" he asked, and Spike noticed how deep
his voice was.

"Hi Mike, I brought my roommate with me. Well, hopefully anyway," she
laughed easily and gestured towards William. "Mike, this is William,
William, this is Mike."

Mike held out his hand to shake Williams hand and reluctantly he let go of
Buffy's hand, hoping he hadn't been death gripping it. Course, she would
have said something if he had been. It wasn't like Buffy to not be vocal.

"How ya doin' William?" Mike asked abruptly and yet politely.

"G-good, thanks," William nodded and shook his hand. Mike had a firm
grip. William just smiled.

Buffy giggled and Mike looked at her sternly, yet he had amusement in his
eyes. "What?"

"You, all serious," she replied.

"I'm trying to be serious here Buffy. You don't get this side of me very
often—"

"If at all," Buffy grinned.

Mike chuckled. "Let me show you around William."

"Can I?" Buffy piped up.

"Well, Buffy, I am the landlord—"

"Please? You can tell him anything I miss okay?"

Mike smiled warmly at her and gestured for her to start.

"This is obviously the kitchen," Buffy told him.

"I'm not sure if the stove and the sink were a dead give away or not, but I
know how Buffy doesn't want you to be confused," Mike said seriously.
William was catching on that Mike's jokes were very deadpan and said in a
serious tone though it was clear he was joking. For the first time since Buffy
had whisked him away that day, William smiled a real smile.

Buffy stuck her tongue out at Mike.

"Now, now Buffy. Toni would be upset if she saw you do that," Mike said
sternly, pointing at her.

"Leave your wife out of this Freeman," Buffy tossed back, but then she
laughed and grabbed Williams hand once more. "Let me show you the living
room."

She walked five feet and onto carpeting. Two windows at the far wall and
cream walls greeted them.

"Living room. Oh, and here's another door," she explained and walked to
the right, opening a door and gesturing outside. "We can put our shoes and
stuff out here if you want," she grinned. Who knew Buffy would get so
excited about the placement of shoes. William supposed that when you
made the rules of where your shoes could go and WOULD go, you got
excited. He supposed she would be trudging through the place with her
shoes on just to make up for all the years she'd had to take her shoes off as
soon as she walked in the door at her parent's house.

Turning and walking out of the living room, she made an immediate right
and entered into what appeared to be a bedroom. Four cream walls and a
window at the front. "And look, William, drawers built into the wall so you
don't have to bring a dresser and conserve space if you wanted." She then
led him across the kitchen to another bedroom, a larger one with four
windows straight across the wall across from them. "Check out the closet
space!" she exclaimed and flung open two sliding doors to reveal a huge
closet.

"I take it you've already claimed this room due to the enormous closet
then?" William asked, smirking.

"No. Though it would make more sense since the other room doesn't have
a closet, but we could share the closet space. . . or we could flip for this
bedroom, its really okay William. Whatever will make you comfortable so
that you like it here---"

"Buffy, pet, it's all right. Slow down, I could take the smaller bedroom. I
don't have as much stuff as you do anyway," he patted her hand gently.

"Does this mean-?" she asked hopefully.

"Is there a bathroom or am I expected to pee out my window?"

Buffy burst into laughter. "It's right around the corner from this bedroom.
It's even got a tub."

"Very nice."

"And we have a washer and dryer in the kitchen in case you missed it.
There's a little nook in the corner, so they're kind of set back."

"Even nicer."

"William, do you want to take it? Will you live with me?" she asked,
squeezing his hand in anticipation.

Like he could deny her anything. They'd been best friends since she saved
him from bullies shoving him in a locker sophomore year in high school. The
leader of the bullies had been her current boyfriend at the time on top of that. Now they
were fresh out of college in which they'd commuted together and were just
starting to get their feet wet in the ‘real world'. They'd pinky swore as
teenagers that they'd do it all together and so far they had. And even
though William was petrified, not loving the whole aspect of change so
much, he knew it was time and knew that Buffy was the person to do it
with.

"I'll live with you Buffy," he told her softly.

Letting out a squeal, Buffy threw herself in his arms, squeezing him tightly
and jumping up and down. A difficult feat while embracing another.

"I take it he said yes then?" Mike asked, coming into the room.

"He did!" Buffy exclaimed excitedly and disengaged from William.

Mike held out his hand again and William took it more firmly this time.
"Welcome to your new home," Mike said and smiled. "You can move in
next weekend if you're ready. All I need is first and last for now and you
can pay me security next month or we can split it up over a couple months.
Just let me know," Mike said all business again and released his hand.

"I—I think over a couple months would be good for me," William said,
glancing at Buffy. Buffy nodded agreeing with him.

"Great. Now, Buffy told you that nothings included right?

William sent Buffy a withering look. "She failed to mention that."

"I wouldn't worry," Mike told him, "for heat in the winter, you've got the
heat from the first two floors helping you out, so you won't pay much at all.
Plus, you have gas. Less expensive than electric. You have your own
washer and dryer and it's only six hundred a month for rent."

"That she did tell me."

"You can paint and do whatever you want in here, not a problem as long as
its painted back to white or cream or whatever that color is before you
leave. You have the parking spot closest to the house, or you know, on the
street. The trash goes out on Tuesdays, but the guy on the second floor,
Andrew, usually takes it out to the curb and then someone brings it back.
You can leave rent right in the mailbox at the first floor at the first of the
month."

"Quiet neighborhood?" William asked.

"Very. The more you circle out of here, the louder it gets, but my
grandfather owned this place, he lived on the first floor and I've been
coming here since I was a kid. I inherited the place from him when he died.
I know most of the people in this area and it's a good neighborhood."

William nodded and looked down at Buffy who was smiling so bright, she
outshone the sun. Brushing his hair away again from his eyes, he beamed
back at her. Anything to make his Buffy happy. Plus, this would be good for
him. He needed it, they needed it. Time to be all ‘growed' up as Buffy would
say. He'd been hoping to move closer to home, like in the same town, in
Newport. Buffy chose Providence. Which wasn't that far away, but still . .

"Welcome home, William," Buffy said warmly.

"Indeed," William said softly, reality starting to set in.
 

Chapter Two

William plopped himself down on the frumpy couch, exhausted. Buffy, who had been full of energy earlier that morning, came in and plopped down next to him. She immediately rested her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around him. He followed the tender gesture by wrapping his arm about her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Tired?" he murmured.

"Exhausted. You?"

"Yep. Hungry?'

"I think so. I think I'm too tired to even tell if I'm hungry." As if on cue, her
belly rumbled loudly. She grinned and looked up at him, "I guess that's
your answer."

He smiled. "What would you like to do then? Eat in or out?"

"Definitely in. We should have our first meal right here in our barely
decorated and minimalist living room. And it should be something like
pizza. Delivered of course. Now, should we get liquor or just soda?"

William pondered that. "Maybe both? We could get a six pack of beer and
soda for after."

"We need groceries."

"We could get just breakfast food until tomorrow when we can really shop.
I don't think I have the energy to really shop." William said, looking into the
kitchen at the large but very empty fridge.

"Nor do I. I need my milk, that's for sure."

"What is your obsession with milk?"

"Osteoporosis. My grandmother had it and it was awful. Her bones were so
brittle. Plus, I think it's a comfort thing."

"Comfort thing?"

"It's best not to ask questions Will."

He chuckled. "Okay Buffy."

"Our first night should definitely be together in our place. That has a nice
ring to it doesn't it Will? Our place. William and Buffy's Place. William and
Elizabeth's Place. Will and Buff's Place. . . " she trailed off, yawning into his
chest.

He grinned down at her, unable to resist pressing another kiss on her head.
What would he ever do without her? She brought so much life to him and
she didn't even know it. When she waltzed into his life, she'd brought
buckets of color with her and brightened up his world. He'd been the new
kid ‘geek' of the school. He'd gone at least a month of being completely
invisible to everyone around him, so invisible in fact, he'd been seriously
pondering his existence. Then, the school jock, Riley Finn had designated
him as the ‘loser' and the ‘geek' of the school and decided it was in his best
interest to torment William. He mocked him, laughed at him and basically
did everything he could to humiliate William. He remembered seeing Buffy
with Riley a few times, remembered first laying eyes on her and thinking
her the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. However, he'd stereotyped her.
He thought her dumb for a) dating Riley and b) being a cheerleader. While
dating Riley was up for debate at times when her judgment has been more
than a little off, William knew that Buffy was no moron. She'd been an A
student, active in all clubs—not just cheerleading—volunteered at nursing
homes and had been student council president two years in a row. Since
Riley mostly tormented him when he was alone or in the supportive throng
of his cronies, William didn't think Buffy had a clue as to Riley's
extracurricular activating of tormenting him until the day Riley had shoved
him into a locker and kept pounding on the door and laughing. The cramped
area made it difficult to breathe, and the constant clanging had made his
head pound.

He remembered Buffy's stern voice demanding Riley to tell her just what
the hell he was doing.

"Just goofing off, Buff," Riley told her calmly.

"Is there someone in there?"

"No," but he didn't sound convincing enough. So Buffy had marched over
and pushed Riley aside, flinging open the door. The sunlight behind her
illuminated her form and brightened her blond hair. It was as if she were an
angel. The Angel of Mercy come to save him. She gasped when she saw
William scrunched up, with his curls falling in his face, his glasses falling off
and sweating profusely.

She helped pull William out of the locker and stood with her hands on her
hips, glowering at Riley.

"What the hell is your problem?" she asked him crossly.

"My problem?" Riley asked, pointing at himself in the chest. "You're the
one with your panties in a twist over a harmless joke."

"Harmless joke? That wasn't a harmless joke Riley. Have you ever been in
a locker? It's not like the vents are very . . . vent like. And that constant
racking of banging on the metal cannot be pleasant. Is it William?"

This angel knew his name? He'd been stunned to say the least. "No, it's not
p-p-leasant."

"Oh suck it up geek!" Riley exclaimed, trying desperately to make it not a
big deal for picking on William.

"Get in the locker Riley," Buffy ordered suddenly.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"Get in the locker and find out for yourself."

"No! What are you crazy?" Riley nearly roared.

"If it's not so bad, then why not try it?" she asked with a shrug.

"The captain of the football team doesn't hang out in lockers Buffy," he said
patronizingly.

"Human beings don't hang out in lockers, Riley Finn. William is a human
being."

Riley snorted.

William remembered Buffy just staring at Riley with a blank expression on
her face. He had no idea what was going on in her head only that it had to
be serious. He'd shuffled his feet, not sure what to do with himself.

"I think it's over Riley," Buffy finally said.

William and Riley had twin expressions of surprise.

"What?" Riley bellowed.

"It's over Riley. I can't be with someone that shoves people into lockers.
It's not fun, it's not cool. It's asinine and childish. I don't want to be with
someone like that."

Riley had made like a guppy for a few seconds. "I can't believe you're
dumping me over," he pointed to William, "THAT!"

Entwining her arm through William's she stuck her nose in the air. "He's
not a ‘that'. You are. Come on William." And she'd walked away with him,
having to nearly drag him in the stunned state he'd still been in. Once
they'd rounded the corner and made their way outside, for it was the end of
the day, William had stopped abruptly and pushed Buffy off his arm.

"What did you just do?" he demanded.

She furrowed her brow in an manner that William found adorable had he
not been so frustrated with her at the moment. "What?"

"You just broke up with Riley Finn."

She shrugged, "Yeah, so?"

"All because he shoved me in a locker?" The mere idea was simply
incredulous.

"Well, not ALL because of that," she said carefully.

"Knew there had to be a catch," he muttered, almost mournfully.

"Riley and I just didn't click. All he talked about was football and driving.
He doesn't even drive or have a car yet! He talks about himself and ONLY
himself. It's boring. It's rude and after what I witnessed today, well, it was
the final nail in his coffin. You don't deserve that William"

"I'm different," he whispered, looking down.

"Why because you're British?" she asked, confused.

"I'm a British ‘geek'. I'm the new kid. No one wants to talk to the new kid.
You never even paid attention to me before now. I don't want your pity
Buffy."

"I'm sorry, William. I didn't mean to ignore you. . . Can I tell you a
something?"

He nodded, still looking at his feet.

"I was kind of afraid to talk to you."

His head shot up at that. "What? Why?"

She blushed and smiled and this time, she looked down. "Because you're
quiet and mysterious. You're super smart and you have a real sexy accent."

He thought he was going to fall over. "You think I have a sexy accent."

"Always loved the British accent," she admitted. "I was afraid you'd think I
was dumb."

He shook his head in wonder, finding himself speechless.

"So . . . Friends?" she asked and stuck out her hand.

He smiled and nodded, taking her hand in his. "Friends."

"So friend," Buffy said, snapping him back to the present. "Let's order that
pizza."

"Okay. Roomie."

She grinned. "We'll always be friends William."

"We're friends and roomies now. I wonder what we'll be next," he mused.
 

Chapter Three

“We need eggs,” William said as he looked over the list one more time. He took out his pen, ready to mark it off as they entered the Dairy section.

“Aren’t you going to check it off?” Buffy asked, trying not to
laugh at how efficient he was.

“No, they’re not in the cart yet,” he said, the look on his face
telling her she should have known this already.

“Will, we’re right here. As soon as we cut a path to the eggs
around all these people, we’ll have them.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. “They have to be in the basket
before I can check them off.”

“You’re a little anal, you know that?” she told him, shaking her
head but a smile curling her lips.

“Like you’re one to talk Miss We Need to Get the Milk First
Thing. I just like to be organized,” he said haughtily. He looked
toward the crowd around the egg section. “I’m thinking
Sunday mornings are NOT the time to be doing this.”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with an efficient time for us.”

He gave her a look, then, “All right. I’m going in.”

She giggled as she watched him weave in and out, while
managing to be polite and not elbow anyone out of the way.

It was cute how efficient he was actually. He’d dutifully
made the list that morning while Buffy tossed things out here
and there while flipping through channels. She’d watched him
as he diligently wrote down everything they needed, thinking
aloud and then jotting things down. He’d kept pushing his hair
out of the way and pushing up his glasses. She’d studied him
when he didn’t think she was looking and Buffy realized just
how cute he was. Maybe ‘cute’ wasn’t strong enough. She’d
always thought he was cute, but watching him, she’d found
him adorable. Sweet. His blue sky blue eyes and the way he
pushed up his glasses with a slightly frustrated look on his
face, and the smile he’d give her.

“Buffy?”

Snapping fingers in front of her face while she
wandered off on Williams attributes was William himself.

“Uh, sorry. I zoned. What?”

“I got the eggs and I think these people want you to
get out of the way.”

“Oh, right,” she said, blushing, and strolled the cart
away.

“What were you thinking about?” William asked as
they turned down an aisle.

“Oh, nothing,” she hummed and continued on. “Did
you check off the eggs?”



“Oh no I didn’t!” he exclaimed and immediately grabbed his
paper and pencil and made his check mark by the eggs.

Buffy giggled. “You are too cute, William.”

“That right, pet?” he asked, grinning at her.

“Yep. All with the making of the lists and having to
check off everything as you go. It’s cute.”

“You know what was cute?”

She smiled up at him, “What?”

“You sliding across the kitchen floor in your pj’s
and socks.”

She giggled. “That was fun!”

“It must have been, you did it for a bloody half
an hour. Only stopping to drink your beer.”

“What was even better is when you fell on your
ass doing it,” and she burst out into a belly laugh.

William gave her a withering glare and then let
out a chuckle. When Buffy snorted, he started to full out
laugh even at the horrified look on her face. He couldn’t help
himself from gathering her up in his arms. This was what life
was Buffy was like. He never wanted to let it go.



“Will? You awake?” Buffy whispered as she
softly knocked on his door. She pushed at the door and it
opened slightly. She saw his legs on the bed. She pushed at
the door more and stepped inside. He was lying on his bed,
his back to her in nothing but his blue jeans and—oh my god—
no shirt. Her jaw dropped to the ground. The boy, from what
she could see of his back, had an incredible torso. How in
the world and WHY in the world did he keep it covered?

She’d known he had to be strong with the way he carried up his things effortlessly, but my God.

She stepped further into the room, wanting to get an even
better look.

“Buffy, what are you doing?”



She let out a very unladylike screech at that and jumped a
near mile. “That was rude!” she barked at him.

Rolling over, Will grinned at her. “No, what’s rude is coming
into my room and not waiting for permission.”

She pointed at him accusingly. “You did that on purpose!”

He smiled rakishly and sat up. “Well, yeah. Wanted to see
what you’d do. What’s up?”

Buffy found her eyes drifting to his chest. His perfect,
smooth, alabaster chest. Six pack, check. Defined muscle
tone, check. Hot, che—what the? Where the?

She took a full step back, “I’m uh, going to introduce myself to
the neighbors down below. Want to come with me?”

He furrowed his brow, “Thought it was just the one guy
Andrew?”

“Well, you never know. Plus there is a first floor too. Coming?”

“Yeah, let me just get my shirt,” he said and reached for it.

Buffy bit her lip, thinking ‘or not,’ then berated herself for
thinking that way about Will. It was WILL. Will her best friend.
Will that she trusted immensely and therefore had no penis.
WILL.

“Buffy?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re zoning again."

“Yeah, I uh . . . do that. Ready?”

He gave her a funny look and slipped into his sneakers.

Trudging down the stairs, Buffy planted herself in front of
Andrew’s door. She looked up at William. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Pushing the chime, she heard it ring and then listened for footsteps. Seconds later, the door swung open and Obi Wan Kanobe greeted them.
 

Chapter Four

"Andrew?" Buffy asked tentatively, staring at the blue eyed man with the solemn expression.

"Yes," he nodded once, slowly. "But for today, you can call me Ben."

"Uh, obviously we're disturbing you so—" William grabbed Buffy's arm
just as two others came bounding in from the other room. They too were
dressed in Star Wars garb.

"What's going on?" asked a short gentleman with dark hair and chocolate
brown eyes dressed all in white.

Buffy grinned. "Which one are you?"

He eyed her suspiciously. "Luke Skywalker."

"And I'm Anakin," the taller of the two spoke up, puffing out his chest.
Attached to his short dark hair, he had a long braid that came down from
the back of his head.

"I take it you're all going to see the show tonight," William asked and
tugged on Buffy's arm, bringing her closer to him.

"We are," Andrew said again, with the slight nod. "How may we help
you?"

Buffy giggled. "We're your upstairs neighbors. We thought we'd come
down and say hello."

That seemed to snap ‘Ben' into life. He slapped on a bright smile and
lunged forward. "Hi! I thought you were going to sell me something. So
good to meet you. Do you think the robes make me look fat?"

Buffy tried not laugh considering he looked pretty serious about the
question.

"Dude, you don't look fat, would you give it up already?" Luke Skywalker
said. He looked up at Buffy and William. "He's so paranoid. He wanted to be
Yoda, but I wanted to be Yoda. It turned into a whole thing because," he
looked at Andrew, "all he does is whine when he doesn't get his way."

Andrew looked down at him, indignant and crossed his arms. "I do NOT!"

"So, Warren, oh, and I'm Jonathan. Anyway, Warren" he pointed at Anakin, "thought it'd be cool for Episode 3 to
dress up as Obi Wan, Luke and Anakin. You know the lineage and all that.
Say, do you want to be Leia?"

"Yeah!" Warren/Anakin burst out. "The Leia in the gold bikini?"

"No!" William piped in quickly. "I mean, uh, no. She doesn't have a costume—"

"I do!" Andrew said excitedly clapping his hands together.

Off William and Buffy's looks Jonathan nudged her with his elbow and
muttered, "Don't ask."

Buffy just nodded in agreement.

"We just wanted to come down and meet you," William finally managed to
finish.

"Come back anytime!" Andrew said brightly. "I'll be happy to show you my
Star Wars collection."

"Like yours is any good," Jonathan muttered.

"Better than yours!" Andrew exclaimed.

"Would you guys shut up? We all know MINE is better. I at least have
Chewy. What the hell kind of collection can you have without Chewy?"
Anakin said patronizingly. He looked at Buffy and William.

"Nice to meet you all," Buffy said politely as William inched her towards
the door.

"We're not usually like this, but it's . . . Star Wars ya know?" Jonathan said
eagerly, getting a far off look in his eye.

"I know," William nodded, tugging on Buffy. "And we'll leave you to it."

"Dude, I think you scared them," Warren was heard saying as William
finally managed to drag Buffy out and push her up the stairs.

"Did they scare you Will?" Buffy teased as they entered their apartment.

"I'm not going to lie to you Buffy, they did freak me out a little."

Buffy giggled. "I thought they were cute!"

He looked at her as if she had three heads. "Cute? They're kind of fanatic,
Buffy."

She shrugged. "Everyone's got a thing. I remember how bad you had it for
Katie Holmes on Dawson's Creek."

William shook his head. "Am I ever going to live that down?"

"Nope!"

"I didn't around dressing like Pacey . . . or Dawson. Or , you know, her."

"I used to dress up as Wonder Woman when I was a kid. I wanted to be
her."

William smiled fondly at her. "Really? I would have loved to see that."

She nodded vigorously, "I even had Wonder Woman underwear."

William blushed profusely at that. "All right then. We got the meeting of
the neighbor's out the way. Now what?"

"Let's go to the Palladium!" Buffy said excitedly, clapping her hands
together.

William groaned, "I was thinking dinner . . . "

"We'll do that first and then go. Come on Will, it'll be fun."

"Yeah, fun for you. You can dance."

Buffy grinned. "I'll teach you."

"Gee. Can't wait," William monotoned and Buffy hit him playfully.



It was the same thing every time. William honestly didn't know why she
insisted on dragging him along. She'd go off and dance her little heart out
and he'd sit at their table and wait for her. Sometimes Willow and Xander,
their friends, would join them and bring their significant others, and
sometimes they wouldn't.

Watching her though, the way she danced so carefree and seemed
completely oblivious to the throng of men around her vying for her
attention and hoping to be the one she crooked a finger at to join her, he
knew why he came. She was simply breathtaking to watch. She was so
vibrant and . . . sexy. Yes, his Buffy was sexy. He might a ‘geek' but he was
still a man. He frowned. Though how much of a man he wasn't sure. He'd
never even had sex . . .

So, yes, he came to watch his Buffy dance her little heart out and think
about the day he could join her carefree-ness and not care who was around
him. Just as long as Buffy was by his side. He also came to protect her. He
frowned again. How much protecting could he do though? He wasn't a
fighter. He was just, Christ, he was just pathetic. Any of those men could
pummel him. Beat him to a bloody pulp and Buffy would rush to his rescue
like she did in high school when Finn shoved him in a locker. How could he
protect her? How could he hope to?

"Hello dearie," a purring voice greeted him.

He looked up to see a lovely dark haired woman with expressive black
eyes, smiling down at him. She smiled as if she knew a secret and it made
William a tad uneasy as well as intrigued.

"Hi," he said slowly, uncertainly.

"I'm Drusilla," and she stuck out a skinny arm. He wondered how someone
could make a handshake look so elegant. That was the only way to describe
the fluid movements she used.

"W-William," he took her hand lightly and she smiled wider and, not letting
go of his hand, plopped herself down across from him. She caressed his
hand soothingly.

"So handsome and shy," she murmured. She sounded as if she were talking
to herself.

"E-excuse me?"

"I see so much in you. So much . . . fire. And strength."

He had to chuckle at that. "You see that in me?"

She nodded, grasping his hand to her chest. "I do."

He gulped. She was actually pretty mesmerizing. His eyes darted to Buffy
who was now chatting with some dopey bloke. He looked back to Drusilla.
"Can I get you a drink?"

 

Chapter 5:

Buffy glanced over from her talk with the one guy who dared burst through the group ogling her and spotted William talking with some dark haired Goth chick. Her brow furrowed as she tried to decipher if she knew the girl and if she was bothering William, or if he was interested in her. He had a tendency to get shy around females, her excluded of course, but by the way he was watching this one with what could only be described as fascination, Buffy felt something akin to jealousy. She didn’t much like the feeling as it so happened. She felt . . . twitchy. Almost like her hands were itching. Itching to pull the Goth girl away from William, maybe even gouge an eye out and then brand William as hers.

Hers? What exactly did that mean aside from
the obvious protectiveness and possessiveness she felt
concerning William? He was hers to an extent. Her best
friend, her rock, her—well, her everything. Okay, wait. Her
EVERYTHING? So now he was not only hers, but now he
was her everything? She shook her head, it was the move.
The move was making her feel a little off. He was her roommate and the only familiar thing in her new surroundings and of course she felt possessive over him. Jealous, even. It was a whole safety thing brought on by change and that was it. She glanced over again and saw the girl touch Williams face. Okay, time to see what was going on.

“Uh, hi?” the guy said as she marched away and Buffy
barely noted it. Not like it mattered anyway. She wouldn’t be
making time with him. Not only was he not her type, cemented
by the fact that she already couldn’t remember his name, but
she had a rule about going out with William like this. She could
dance to her hearts content, but she was not going to spend
the entire time with some guy and ignore William all night. She
often told would be suitors that he was her brother. In that
way, she was sure they wouldn’t try anything funny, or
expect her to hang out with them all night. She knew William
wasn’t keen on these types of places, so she tried to make it
as much fun as she could for him.

Approaching the table, she frowned when she
was ignored. Perhaps it sounded arrogant to say that William
always paid attention to her the second she walked in a
room.

Buffy slid into the seat next to William. “Hi, who
are you?” she asked pointedly.

The girl sat back and stared at her darkly,
almost distastefully.

William pried his eyes away from her and turned
toward Buffy. “Buffy, this is Dru. Dru, this is Buffy.”
Dru’s studied her now, “Hello sunshine.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows at her. “It’s Buffy.
How do you know Will?”

Dru leaned forward and grabbed Williams hand
in hers, smiling at him, “We just met.”

Buffy wanted to pry the woman’s fingers off of
William’s. Who the hell was she and how did she know they
weren’t together? It was insulting!

“Will, I’m ready to go home now. Come with?”

He seemed torn which only fueled the rage
building inside Buffy. He actually WANTED to hang around the
vapid ho? Please. William had more sense and more taste
than that.

“Leaving me so soon, my Spike?” Dru purred,
gazing at him.

“Spike? Your Spike?” Buffy said, her jaw
dropping. “His name is William. Maybe you didn’t hear over the
din in here, but he is definitely not a Spike.”

Dru raised a brow and narrowed her
eyes. “He’s a Spike. My Spike.”

Buffy stood slowly, placing her hands on the
table. “All right, you know what you can do Miss Dracula’s
wife, you can—“

“Okay, okay,” William jumped up and placed a
hand over Buffy’s mouth. “I uh, think I should go with Buffy
right now Dru. I’m sorry.”

Buffy started to say that he didn’t have to
apologize to her, but her voice was muffled by William’s hand
still over her mouth.

Dru snapped her fingers at the waiter going by.
She stood, eyeing Buffy and grabbed the pen out of the
waiter’s shirt and asked for a piece of paper sweetly. The
waiter handed it to her and gave Buffy a funny look.
Scribbling, what was probably her phone number down; Dru
sauntered over to William and slid her number into his pants
pocket.

“Call me,” she purred and sauntered away,
gazing at him over her shoulder.

Buffy lunged, as much as she could in William’s
arms. She didn’t like the look on his face. The stunned,
intrigued and –turned on? look on his face. It hurt.

“You going to stop?” William asked sternly.

She glared at him, trying to cover up the fact
that she was hurt by his tone and actions. She nodded and
he released the hand over her mouth and around her waist.

She was so angry with him; she didn’t even
want to speak to him. So, she spun on heel and marched
away from him.

Once outside, William grabbed her arm. “Buffy,
stop,” he said on a weary sigh.

She wrenched her arm from him. “What the hell
was that about?”

“You were being rude!” he exclaimed.

“I was being rude? She was GLARING at me
William. Or is it Spike now? I can tell you right now I’m not
fucking calling you that!”

“Why are you being such a bitch?”

Her jaw dropped. “You just call me a bitch?”

“You were being rude from the start Buffy. I
was fine. I didn’t need you to come and rescue me,” he told
her indignantly.

“Oh no? Because she’s a great choice for a
date. Maybe she’ll suck your blood and turn you into a blood
sucking fiend on your first date.”

“What about the little prat you were talking to?
He looked like SUCH the gentleman.”

“We were just talking, he didn’t have his hand
down my pants!”

“I’m surprised with the way you were dancing!”

Buffy reared back from the blow of that
comment. Her heart dropped and she felt suddenly winded.
He might as well have kicked her in the gut. Regret instantly
washed over his face at that and he started to reach for her.
She backed off and now he was the one that was hurt.

“I don’t want to be around you right now,” she
told him coldly.

“Buffy, I’m sorry—“

“No, it’s all right. Now I know what you really
think,” and she turned away from him, wrapping her arms
around herself and walking away.

“Buffy, are you going home?”

“Yes.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No.”

“I live there too.”

“I’m going home to my parents. Good night. . .
WILLIAM.”


 

Chapter Six

Buffy entered the grey two story colonial she grew up in and let out breath she felt she'd been holding since she moved in. She hadn't realized how nice it was to come home. She'd been in such a rush to move out and now that she was in the place she'd been in such a rush to get out of, she felt homesick. Which was odd considering. She thought back to the many times—just last week to be exact—that her and William had burst through the door laughing about something or other.

"Buffy?" her mother asked, coming to greet her in the foyer. "What's going on? Where's William?"

"He's um, at the apartment."

Her mother stepped forward, "Are you all right?"

Buffy nodded, "Yeah. Is it all right if I stay here tonight?"

Joyce, her mother, studied her suspiciously. "Buffy. What happened?"

"William and I just had an argument of sorts," Buffy mumbled.

"Would you like me to make some cocoa and you can tell me about it?"

Buffy nodded. "I'm just going to see if I have any pj's left here okay?"

Joyce nodded slowly, "I'm sure you do. Your dad's in bed, so be extra
quiet."

"Where's Dawn?"

"At a friends."

"Kay, be right back." She made the ascent up the stairs and breathed deep.
Her house, the familiar smell her apartment did not have. She didn't realize
how much she would miss a scent. The scent of home. Pushing the door
open to her abandoned room, she took note of the dresser that still stood
there that she hadn't been able to fit in her new room. She also took note
that her mother had already started the set up of a reading room there.
She closed her eyes and conjured up the image of her old room. Inevitably,
William came to mind and she saw him sitting on her bed watching her as
she got ready to go out. He always watched her go from no makeup to
makeup. Or, as she liked to call it, "Putting on her face". He'd often tell her
she didn't ‘need that crap'.

God, she was pathetic. She'd only spent what? One night at her apartment
with William and she was already home and feeling homesick? Course, she
hadn't realized it till she pulled into the driveway. She figured it had to do
with the fact that she'd just argued with William, something they rarely
ever did and that he'd hurt her feelings, something he NEVER did, AND she
realized she'd been jealous—something she never was concerning William.
She often didn't understand why women didn't pay more attention to him.
He had a heart of gold and she'd never found him ugly. She'd found him
cute until that afternoon when she'd upped to it adorable. Oh and then
there was the moment she'd seen him sans shirt. . .

She whipped open her drawer and rummaged through it, looking for just a
pair of capri's and a t shirt or tank at least. Finding both, she strutted off to
her bathroom. The bathroom she didn't have to share with a boy.

So yes, she thought, as she tugged off her clothes and replaced them, she'd
never been jealous like that concerning William. So why now?

She stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was not dark like Dru's. Her
eyes were not dark either, and her nose was shaped funny. What did William see in her? God, why was this bothering her so much! He was a boy
in need of a girl. Just as she was a girl . . . well, she wasn't really in need of a
boy. She had enough changes to get used to. A new apartment, a new life, a
new job—all of things meant she did not have time for a boy. Where was
William finding the time all of a sudden.

"Just stop thinking about it!" she growled at her reflection and nearly
stomped off downstairs to see her mother.



"So, can you tell me about this argument you had with Will?" Joyce asked,
sliding Buffy's cocoa to her.

Buffy nodded slowly, staring into her cup and the bobbing marshmallows
William liked so much. She told her mother everything from the time she'd
gone over to see William with Dru to when she made the decision to leave.

"Buffy, honey, do you have feelings for William?" Joyce asked gently.

Buffy knit her brows together. "No," she said emphatically. Then, "What do
you mean?"

Joyce smiled, "I mean, do you think of William as more than a friend?"

"Jesus, mom what is this? High school?" Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you weren't understanding, so I thought I had to spell it out."

"I – I don't know what I'm feeling," Buffy stumbled on her words,
frustrated that she couldn't define or articulate properly what she was
feeling.

"Buffy, honey, you and William have been best friends for a long time.
You've been nearly inseparable. Where there's one, there's the other.
You've always depended on William to be there. It's like you've been in this
bubble together and when you do date, you expect William to be there and
not have anyone—"

"That's not true mother, I don't want William to be alone!" Buffy protested.


"Buffy, just listen," Joyce said calmly, placing a hand on her arm.


"I think your feelings for William run deeper than you've ever allowed
yourself to think. And I think you better figure it out before you lose him.
You can't keep a leash on him Buffy and expect him to always be there,
waiting. He has a life to lead as well as you. It's selfish to think he won't
want someone in his life. And if you want that person to be you, then you
need to do something about it."



Buffy's thoughts lay heavy in her mind that night and she found sleep
difficult. Her mother was right. She couldn't say she didn't understand why
women didn't fawn over William in one breath and then get inappropriately
upset when they did in the next. She also couldn't expect to be able to date
and then go home to William and have him always be there as if he had
nothing better to do. She was selfish. The thought brought tears to her
eyes. More so that she could have hurt William. And yet, she thought as she
turned on her back on the lumpy couch, William had hurt her too. It was
obvious he thought her a tramp. Which was plain ridiculous. She never
slept around. She only had sex in semi-serious relationships. She'd only
been with . . . three men. Okay four counting that one one-night stand she
never told anyone about. Not a skank, now way, no how. So she liked to
shake her tail feather. It wasn't her fault all the pervs came along to ogle
her. They ogled plenty of other girls that did the same thing! It just really
hurt that William saw her that way. It also really hurt that he seemed
interested in that bride of Dracula freak. . . Sitting up Buffy knew there was
no way she was going to fall asleep. As much as her body yearned for it, she
needed to work this out with William. Climbing off the couch, she gathered
her things, deciding to come back for what was left tomorrow. She left a
note and locked the door behind her.

When she arrived at the apartment, she noticed light bouncing off the
windows and knew that William had to be watching TV. Climbing up the
stairs, she wondered if he'd still be awake and she actually felt afraid. She
wasn't sure why except that she didn't want to argue with William, she just
wanted it to be over already.

Unlocking the door, she crept inside.

"Buffy?" his sweet, sleepy voice came across the room to greet her.

She stepped into the living room. "Hi."

He sat up from his laying position on the couch. "What are you doing here?"

She smirked, "I live here."

"Thought you were staying at your mothers," he retorted.

"I was. But I couldn't sleep," she murmured, ignoring the hard tone in his
voice.

"Why not?"

"Because we argued and I didn't like it. I wanted to come here and work it
out. I guess its not very mature of me to run home when we have a
problem."

"I guess you're right."

She sucked at this, she really did. "Okay, great. Well, good night!" she
started for the bedroom.

William stood. "Buffy."

She stopped and turned to him. "William."

In two strides, they were hugging.

"You're not a tramp or a ho or any of those other things you called Dru," he whispered in her hair.

"I'm sorry I was so rude William." She swallowed, "I-if you like her, I won't
say anything about you seeing her." Even if she is all wrong for you, she added in her head.

"I don't like it when we fight Buffy. I missed you."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I'm sorry."

"You stop apologizing too!"

He chuckled. "Want to watch some Nick at Nite with me?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "Sure thing roomie."

 

Chapter Seven

“Will? Can I come in?” Buffy asked uncertainly as she
knocked on his closed door. They’d gotten up together that
morning and had gone to Home Depot to see about paint and
other things they needed for the apartment. After assembling
some shelves for the bathroom and living room, they’d had
lunch and then they’d retreated to their bedrooms. At first
Buffy had been fine just putzing around her room and
decorating it, but then her mind started to drift to the night
before and Drusilla.

She bit her lip as she distinctly remembered a phone
number being given. Did he plan to call? Had he already while
in his room? And why in the freaking hell had she told him
she was all right with him dating her? Because it’s his life, the
voice in her head scolded her. His life, yes, she answered
back, but what if he fucks it up? Not your call, the voice
answered back. Buffy wrinkled her nose. She hated not
having control. She also hated this jealous feeling she had.
Just the thought of Drusilla’s hands on William sent Buffy in a
tailspin. It was then that she had marched across the
apartment to his room to see him. She had to know, plus, if
she took up his time, then he wouldn’t call her, now would
he? Maybe he even lost the number already.

“Come in,” she heard him say almost weakly.

Opening the door she found him doing pushups of all things.
She gulped. His chest was bare.

“Thirty,” William grunted before rolling onto his back and
looking up at her with a grin. “Hi.”

She smiled, “What are you doing?”

“Working out.”

“Why?” Was it for Drusilla?

His smile faded, “Why not? You’re not the only one that likes
to look good Buffy. I realize that I’m not much to look at, but
what I do have I’d like to maintain,” he said grumpily and shot
up off the floor and grabbed a towel that was nearby.

“William, I didn’t mean it like that—“

“It’s all right Buffy. You don’t have to back pedal.
By the way, I’m going out with Dru tonight,” he said sharply
and strode out of the room towards the bathroom.


Buffy stood there, stunned. What the hell had
just happened? ‘Why’ she asks. No wonder he was
offended. He thought she was making fun of him. That idea
rolled around in her mind for a while and soon, it gave way to
anger. How DARE he think she was making fun of him! In all
the years they’d known each other, Buffy had NEVER played
upon his insecurities like that. She knew how sensitive he
could be and the idea that he thought she would make fun of
him . . . it made her blood boil. It was like he didn’t know her at
all and had no regard for their friendship.

Stalking to the bathroom door, Buffy stood with
her hands on her hips and glowered at the door as if it were
William. She could hear the water running so at the top of her
lungs she yelled, “I hope you have a fan-fucking-tastic time
tonight William!!”

Childish, yes. Did she much care? No. Instead she continued
to do what any immature person would do. She grabbed her
purse and headed out. She didn’t want to be around to see
William before his date with Dru. She didn’t want to see him
get dressed up and put on cologne and look so handsome for
her. She didn’t want to acknowledge that he was seeing her
tonight nor did she want to acknowledge the tears cascading
down her cheeks and what they could possibly mean.



Willow opened the door to see her best friend with a huge fake smile plastered on her face. “What’s going on?” she

asked immediately.

“What?” Buffy’s smile faltered. “What do you
mean?”

Willow pointed at her, her green eyes
narrowing. “You have a fake smile. You only have that smile
when something happened that you’d rather ignore until it
goes away. Which it never does, may I remind you.”

“Can I come in before the psychoanalyzing?”
Buffy asked on a sigh.

Willow stepped aside and ushered her
in. “How’s the apartment? Sorry I haven’t had a chance to
see it yet. Been busy with my own.”

Buffy looked at her in question.

“Had a plumbing problem, but as of this
afternoon, it’s all fixed,” she said on a tired sigh and ran a
hand through her short, vibrant red hair. “Come, sit down on
my nice comfy couch and tell me what happened. Drink?”

“Tequila?”

“At five? Starting early?

“Joking. Coke?”

“Coming up,” Willow said, entering her kitchen
as Buffy flopped down on her sofa and peered out the
window the sofa was directly in front of. Willow had moved
into her own place during college. Under sad circumstances
however. Her mother had died and she couldn’t stand living
with her father, so she’d used the inheritance her mother left
her and moved out. Now, she had a job as a nurse and was
toying with the idea of going on to doctor. Willow had drive,
that much Buffy could say. Buffy frowned as she picked at the sofa pillow in her lap. What kind of drive did she have? She’d been perfectly content to go into college undeclared for a couple years and then decide to finish out taking some law courses to become paralegal. Which she had been fine with. Until now. Until this very second. Where it all was coming from all of a sudden, she wasn’t sure.

“How’s the job?” Willow asked, coming back in and setting
down her Coke on the coffee table. She sat down in the arm
chair across the room and crossed her legs looking like some
kind of regal movie star.

“It’s all right. Just starting and all that. Waiting for
the moment when I don’t feel dumb because I’m new and still
don’t know much.”

Willow smiled gently. “Yes, that will pass.
Imagine taking blood the first time.”

Buffy grimaced. “No thanks.”

“How’s the apartment?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “Fine.”

“Liar.”

“Will has a date tonight,” Buffy blurted out. “And
I don’t like her. Her name’s Drusilla and she looks like the Bride
of Frankenstein without the Marge Simpson hair. She calls
him SPIKE and was draped all over him like a cheap coat—is
that the right saying? I always get it wrong. I don’t like her
Willow and he’s mad at me right now and I’m pretty pissed at
him and I’m so. . . just so . . . “

“Jealous?” Willow supplied.

“Yes!”

“Because you’re in love with him,” Willow said easily.

That met with silence.

“Well?” Willow prodded.

“I don’t want him to get hurt,” Buffy said weakly.

“He’s a big boy, Buffy. You have this knack for
coddling him a lot of the time. Come to think of it, he has that
knack with you too.”

Buffy shrugged. “So? We look out for each other.”

“Buffy, you look out for him as if you’re afraid
for him to make new friends.”

“That’s not true!” Buffy exclaimed indignantly.

“I think you’re in love with him Buffy. I’ve always
thought so. I also think that once you figure that out, you’ll
make your life a whole lot easier.”

Buffy furrowed her brow. “Love easy? Are you nuts? How
is admitting I’m in love with Will—IF I were, which I’m not—
going to make my life easier?”

Willow grinned knowingly and secretly. “Can’t tell.”

“You suck.”

Willow shrugged, unfazed. “So, what do you
want to do? Sit here and bitch about William and his date or
go hunt them down and see what they’re up to?” she leaned
forward, smiling conspiratorially.

Buffy stared at Willow in surprise. “You’re pure
evil.”

Willow smiled broader and sat back. “I know,”
she said proudly.

Buffy grinned, “I like it.”



 

Chapter 8

William's hand had trembled when he dialed Dru's number. He also felt a pang a guilt with a slight side of anger that served to assuage the guilt. To sum up, he'd lied to Buffy. He hadn't made plans for a date with Dru before her innocent ‘why?' to his workout regime. Did she think that nothing could ever help his appearance? Was he a lost cause when it came to looking good? Was he destined to be her sidekick for the rest of his life?

So he'd called Dru out of anger at Buffy. She made him uncomfortable, in an
‘out of my league' kind of way. Which was odd considering she was the one
who had made her interest clear. You couldn't be out of someone's league if
they made the play for you. However, he was starting to think there was
something to Buffy dubbing her Bride of Dracula. She had an affinity for lots
of black and Goth wear. Then, there was the way she draped herself over
him, spoke to him in metaphors he didn't quite understand and with the
touching so soon and so much.

Not knowing too much about the dating world, but enough to get by, he
figured he'd take her out to a nice dinner, despite being completely cashed,
and maybe out to a movie. Drusilla wasn't like most birds, William soon
realized. She wanted to go someplace dark and loud with lots of grinding
bodies and smoke. In short, it was a club that had a slight S&M theme to it.
Not at all the type of thing he was used to and not at all the type of place he
could picture ever taking Buffy.

He was on a date. Why was he thinking of Buffy?

He'd long given up shifting and adjusting in his seat to fend off Dru's
wandering hands and just sat back, taking long gulps of his beer to calm his
nerves, and letting Dru ramble on about the ‘people finding their pleasure
in pain'. Or was it pain in pleasure? He wasn't sure. Despite his discomfort,
William was trying to make the best of it. He was taking Buffy's advice in
the ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained' variety and was trying to see if he
could gain any information on this new world Dru was introducing him to. If
he wanted to change and break out of his shell to become more of the man
he felt he needed to be then he had to start somewhere. Buffy would tell
him to think outside the box, and see beyond what was in front of him. So,
a) asking a woman out, and b) exposing himself to different modes of living
was bound to teach him something he could apply. Right? Well, he hoped
so. And, as the alcohol started to course through his body and make certain
parts of him numb and relaxed, he found Dru's touching wasn't all that bad.
It was actually kind of . . . arousing.

"Tell me about your sunshine, dearie," Dru said, leaning in close and gazing
at him with that kind of unwavering gaze that had him averting his eyes.

"My sunshine?" he asked dumbly.

"The guard dog that barked at Mummy last night," Dru said, slightly
pouting.

She wasn't talking about Buffy was she? He soon realized she must be.
Guard dog, sunshine—who else would she be talking about? Great, now he
was starting to understand her weird way of talking about things. Couldn't
she have just asked how Buffy was? Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Why did
everything lead back to Buffy? Couldn't he have one night without having
her make cameos in his mind?

"She's my roommate," William said flatly.

Dru smiled almost sadistically. "Naughty boy, lying to Mummy in such a
way!"

William blinked. "What?"

"She's more than that, my Spike."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" he asked, frowning.

She shrugged, "It's what I see in you."

"You see a Spike in me?"

"It's not the name my sweet that matters, it's the persona. It's the man
inside you itching, aching, burning to break free and meet the world," her
hands scratched at her arms, leaving pink tracks down her arms. Her eyes
were wild with intent "I see it all around you," now her arms wove in circles
around his head. "The urge, the desire, the passion you keep laden inside
yourself. Break free of the shell!" Her hands stopped weaving and she
spread her fingers wide. "Embrace Spike and all he possesses and then,
you'll find your sunshine." Her eyes bore into him and god, he found himself
under some kind of spell. He could almost SEE what she was speaking of.
He did have passion inside of him; he had so much inside of him just dying
to break free. She made it sound so easy, she made it seem feasible.

"Help me?" he asked weakly.

Dru smiled broadly, her eyes glinting even in the dark, smoky club. "I will
help you."



Buffy was starting to worry. She glanced at the time on the VCR for what
felt like the hundredth time. It was almost one-thirty. Where the freaking
hell was William? She and Willow had scoured the city looking for him and
had come up with jack in the squat of finding him.

Buffy jumped up from the couch, her heart racing with worry. She started
to pace, trying to assess any and all places William could be with the
vampiric Drusilla. And really, what kind of name was that? She was just
asking for all kinds of comments with that name.

"Her name's probably something simple like Jane, or funny like Fanny and
she changed it to be all ‘cool' and stuff. What a weirdo—"

The door swinging open startled Buffy and she nearly jumped a mile.

"William?" she called out and rushed to the kitchen. The man carrying
himself into the kitchen certainly looked like William, but wasn't acting like
William. He had this swagger . . .

"William?" she asked again and flicked on the light in the kitchen.

"Bloody hell!"

It certainly looked like William. Sort of. There was something different
about him. Something in his eyes, in his face and in his stance, something
had changed, she just couldn't place it.

"Where the hell have you been?" she demanded.

William smirked, "Keeping tabs on me luv?"

Her eyebrows flew off her head. "You are drunk! You didn't drive home did
you?"

"Bloody hell, would you stop fucking coddling me!"

Buffy's eyes widened. Where had that come from? For one thing, William
hardly EVER swore and for another he'd never yelled at her like that
before.

"That's the second time in two days you've yelled at me. I don't like it,"
Buffy said pointedly. "It's her. She's making you act like this—"

"No, she's not. She hasn't done anything that I haven't wanted to do."

"What the hell are you talking about William?"

"It's not William," he slurred slightly.

"Oh no," Buffy murmured.

"It's Spike."

"Is it now? I'm not calling you that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's dumb?"

"Suit yourself, BUFFY."

"It's a nickname you moron."

"So is Spike. It's the name I prefer. It's the name of the man I want to be."

"Well, if a raving asshole is who you want to be, then congratulations."

He shrugged. "Spike isn't a raving asshole. He's just a man who knows what
he wants and goes after it is all." He stepped closer to her. So close that she
could feel his breath on her face. "Think you can handle it?" he asked
deeply.

She looked up at him and met his eyes, a retort of ‘hit me with your best
shot' on the tip of her tongue. However, when her eyes met his blue ones
and she noticed not for the first time just how incredibly handsome he
was—and so TALL—she found herself lost. Her eyes fell on his lips and she
moistened her own with her tongue subconsciously.

He smirked and spun around, heading for the bathroom. "Night Sunshine."

He'll sleep it off and be back to William tomorrow, Buffy thought, I hope.


 

Chapter Nine

Buffy woke up after a restless night wondering what she would greet once she stepped foot outside her bedroom door. Would William be William or would William be Spike? She rolled her eyes. Spike. What the freaking hell kind of nickname was that? She frowned. No better than Buffy she supposed. However, in her defense, her younger sister gave that to her when she was trying to say "Beth" since "Elizabeth" just wasn't cutting it.

"I've got the world on a string, sitting on a rainbow . . . " William was up and
belting out Sinatra.

She smiled broadly and jumped out of bed to greet him. Apparently he
wasn't hung over which meant he would hopefully be in a good mood, which
meant he wouldn't be such an ass to her today.

She burst open the door and found William pulling out the milk from the
fridge.

"Morning," she said hesitantly. He sounded like he was William, he almost
looked like William, but as she learned last night looks can be deceiving.

He turned to her. "Hello, luv."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine and yourself?"

"Good," she said slowly. "William, about last—"

"Spike," he jumped in, correcting her.

"Excuse me?"

"It's Spike, remember?"

She stared at him, studying him closely. His posture was different. He
wasn't slouched anymore. He stood tall and proud and when he walked, he
more swaggered and strolled rather than shuffling his feet.

"What happened with Drusilla last night?" Buffy asked, afraid to hear the
answer.

William smiled broadly, "We had a good time."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Nope," William chirped and poured some milk. "What about you? What did you do? Want some milk?"

"Uh, I . . . yeah to the milk. I hung out with Willow."

"What did you birds do?"

To lie or not to lie, that is the question.

"Not much. Just hung out. Where'd you go last night?"

William turned to her, smirking. "It's killing you isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Not knowing what I was doing."

"William, did you have sex with her?"

His smirk fell. "It's Spike. Why are you having such a hard time with that?"

"Because I don't like it. It's not you. You're William. I'm not going to call
you some moniker that lunatic came up with."

"She's not a lunatic."

"Right. And monkeys might fly out of my ass."

"Such a cute ass it is too."

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. "All right. What the hell is with
this multiple personality disorder you've suddenly developed? You going to
tell your parents to start calling you ‘Spike' now too?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Because it's DUMB. William, what's going on? Why can't you talk to me?"

He stared at her, his eyes pained. "You don't see me. Not yet."

"I do see you."

"No, you see stupid, dependable, pushover William. You see the lap dog
that follows you and does your bidding. You don't see ME."

"You're not my lap dog—"

"You're right. I'm not. Not anymore," and he placed his cup in the sink and
strolled quickly into his bedroom, shutting the door.

Buffy stood there, trying not to well up in tears. "You're my best friend,"
Buffy whispered. "And I feel like I've lost you."



********************************************************************************************

Spike stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. Dru had told him last night that it wasn't enough to make changes on the inside, but you had to also do it on the outside so people would take you more seriously.

She'd done wonders for him last night. She'd thrust him out in the world
and shown him what treasures awaited if he just let the man within loose. It
was the man that he wanted to be for Buffy, but never felt he could for
some reason. Dru told him last night that he could. She'd told him to walk as
if he owned the world, to talk as if what he said was important. He
remembered Buffy always telling him to speak up, always telling him to
hold his head high. Or, she warned him, the bullies of the world like Riley
Finn would think it was their right and duty to shove him in lockers.

It was amazing how with a few simple changes in walk and talk, he felt like
a completely different man. Especially when Dru had followed like a groupie
and wrapped herself around him on the dance floor, daring women with her
eyes to take her on for his attention.

He'd reveled in it. Women had gawked at him, leered, winked and stared
suggestively at him. AT HIM. He wanted Buffy to be there to see it. He
wanted her to know what it felt like to watch someone linger around her
with the intent to paw and claim ownership.

"You see, my Spike how they flock to you? How they want you? You shine,
my sweet."

He'd asked her what she wanted with him and she only smiled in answer.
He let it go. He'd find out sooner or later, he was sure. In the meantime, the
best thing he could do was hold on for the ride and let her work her magic.
Then Buffy would see him. She'd see the man he wanted to be, she'd see
the man inside and not the boy any longer. Then he'd have the right to
linger around her and claim her as his for all the world to see. He just
wished she'd stop fighting the transformation and accept it. Time, Dru had
said, give them all time.



******************************************************************************************



Buffy spent the day away from the apartment. It wasn't right that she felt
comfortable in the place she was supposed to now call home. She figured it
would be more like home if the person she was living with wasn't a stranger
to her anymore. Settling herself down in front of the fountain in the center
of the mall, she stared at the glistening copper coins at the bottom and
dipped her hand in, rippling the water that much more.

Okay, so William wanted to change himself. Fine. So he wanted to feel like
a man – But, wasn't he a man already? He certainly had the body of man,
the intellect of a man. What was it he exactly wanted to change? If he
wanted to come out of his shell more, she was all for it. She'd figured
moving out would help that in time. She thought a new life, a new path, and
William would come into his own. So, did this Drusilla rate? What was it
about her that designated her to be the special one to bring William out of
his shell? And why didn't William feel he could discuss any of it with her? It
hurt. She was supposed to be his best friend and all they'd done since that
stupid bitch had come into the picture was argue.

"Buffy Summers?"

Buffy's head jerked up to see "Riley?"

"It is you. How are you?" Riley hadn't changed much at all. His hair was
shorter, his build a tad bigger, but still the same Riley.

Buffy slid off the bench and stood. "It's good to see you. What have you
been up to?"

He beamed at her, "Well, I went to boot camp after high school for the
Coast Guard and then I decided to go to school in California. I decided I
missed home and came here to get a job."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a journalist."

"How exciting! So your parents are still here, right?"

"Yep, they are. Part of the reason I came back."

"I get that," Buffy said wistfully.

"What have you been up to?"

"Oh, little bit of this, little bit of that."

Riley grinned. "That's the Buffy I remember. Always so secretive."

Buffy smiled, "I don't mean to be."

"This is a shot in the dark, but would you want to get together some time?
Are you still friends with William?"

Buffy's smile fell a bit, "We are. We moved in together."

Riley nodded. "Oh really? Are you and he . . . ?"

"No. Not at all. Uh, sure, I'd like to get together sometime. Let me give you
my number."



*****************************************************************************************

"Do you like it sir?" the hair dresser asked as she spun William to the mirror. His straggly brown locks were gone. All gone. At his request, they'd clipped them away and cut his hair short. Then, they'd dyed it to a platinum blond. Currently, it was drying freely on top of his head and he could see the evidence of his unruly curly hair on top of his head. He studied himself. Gel, he was going to get some gel to tame that curl. The transformation though, was amazing. He didn't look the same at all. He smiled broadly and wondered what Buffy was going to think of it.

"I bloody love it," Spike said to his reflection.
 

Chapter Ten

“Buffy!” Spike shouted out for Buffy as soon as he arrived home.

Silence.

“Buffy, I saw your car, luv, where are you?”

She came out of her bedroom there a look of clear annoyance on her pixie face. “You don’t have to scream like a banshee--“ She stopped, her eyes widening. “Oh. My. God. What did you do to your hair?” she rushed up to him, reaching her hand out and touching it as if to make sure it was real. He grinned and leaned his head into her touch.

“Do you like it?” he asked studying her, trying to gauge her face for any signs of what she thought beyond shock.

“William, your curls are gone,” she said softly, almost mournfully.

He frowned, “Don’t you like it this way?”

“It’s. . . different.”

“That’s the whole sodding point, Buffy,” he said
tersely.

She stood back and crossed her arms. “All right, I
have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“Why don’t you tell me what the correct response
from me should be and I’ll just say it so you won’t bite my
head off every time I give my opinion on something. Since MY
opinion apparently sucks, and it’s not what you’re looking for,
why don’t you just TELL me what you want me to think and
say and do and I’ll do it so we won’t argue anymore?”

“I just want you to like it, Buffy,” Spike said gently. “I
want you to like me.”

“I do like you William, You’re my best friend. I just don’t
understand what’s going on with you and why. I want to
understand what’s happening with you but you won’t talk to
me.”

“Buffy—“ Spike started. The phone ringing cut him
off. “Just hold on. Hello? . . . Riley Finn?” His eyes darted to
Buffy, and his whole body tensed as anger unlike anything
he’d felt before ripped through him. “She’s right here,” he said
through clenched teeth and held out the phone to Buffy. She
averted her gaze from him and took the phone.

“We are not done,” Spike said angrily.

She nodded and took put the phone to her ear. “Hello?
Yeah, that was William. I’m good. . . Yeah, I didn’t expect to
hear from you so soon. . . “

As Buffy chatted, nervously, Spike bore holes into the
back of her head. His fists clenched and unclenched. He
wanted to punch the wall, the door . . . Riley Finn’s face.

“Sure, I’ll meet you after I get out of work. Yep, at
five.”

Wait, what? She was making PLANS with him? The
roar of anger ripped from his throat before he could stop
himself. William inside him wept.

“Uh, neighbors. Yeah, rowdy bunch. I gotta go Riley.
Okay. . . yep, bye.”

She hung up the phone and slowly turned to face
Spike.

“What the bleeding hell do you think you’re doing?”
Spike shouted at her. “You’re not going out with that wanker,
you understand me?”

“I’m sorry; did you change your name to Dad too?”
Buffy bit back at him.

“Do you remember what he did to me Buffy? How he
tormented me?”

“Yeah, in high school. I’d like to think we’ve all grown
up—“ she eyed him, “well, some of us anyway.”

“I don’t want you going out with him Buffy.”

“I don’t want you going out with Drusilla, but that’s not
going to change anything now is it?”

He stepped closer to her, grabbing her arms so that
they uncrossed and standing close enough that he could feel
her breasts against his chest and could smell the sweet
scent of her vanilla body lotion. He tilted her face up to meet
his. “Why Buffy? Why don’t you want me to see her?”

“What?” she whispered, her lip trembling slightly.

“Tell me why you don’t want me to see her,” he
stated, trying to calm his nerves and cease the hammering of
his heart in his chest. William didn’t crowd anyone; William
kept his distance and didn’t make such bold moves as this.
Spike wanted to though. Spike wanted her to tell him that she
was jealous of Dru. Spike wanted to rip Riley’s arms off and
beat him with them, and not because of what he did to him in
high school. No, he wanted to beat Riley for daring to move in
on Buffy. William was across the room sadly accepting that
Buffy was going out with Riley and lying to her when he
wished her a good time. He fought to keep himself rooted
where he was, fought to demand she tell him she was
jealous of Dru—she was, wasn’t she?

“Because I don’t like who you’ve become in the short
time you’ve known her. You’re not my William anymore.” She
stood back from him and shook her head. “I don’t even know
you anymore,” and she walked away from him.

“You do know me Buffy. This is me inside. This is the
man inside.” He called after her. He forced himself to stay
rooted where he was and not go after her. He wasn’t sure
which part of him wanted to take her in his arms and assure
her of him, but he knew it would scare her if he did.

“Then I was the one that was mistaken,” she said
sadly, “because I thought I knew you and I see now that I
was wrong.” She headed towards the door, grabbed her
purse on the kitchen table and started to open the door.

“Where are you going?” he asked, trying to keep the
desperation out of his voice.

“Out.”

“Where, Buffy?” he asked, striding across the room
and leaning over her, shutting the door with one hand as he
towered over her back.

“You don’t tell me anything anymore, why should I tell
you?”

“Because I’ll worry,” he said simply.

“Just let me go . . . Spike.”

He stared at the back of her head and released his
hand from the door. In an instant she was gone. He stared at
the door wondering why he felt saddened that she’d called
him Spike instead of William. Hadn’t he been on her case to do
just that? So then why should it bother him that she did it? It
wasn’t her accepting him as a man to call him Spike as he
had thought it would be. No, instead her calling him Spike
meant something entirely different—it meant something so
profound that he felt his world shift and give way. He just
lost something here.

Her. He lost her.

Calling him Spike meant she gave up on him. On whom
he was and who he could be, and, who he wanted to be.
This wouldn’t do. This wouldn’t do at all, he thought, shaking
his head. If he lost Buffy he had nothing. This wasn’t
supposed to happen. He missed something here; he screwed
it all up. He’d been too hard on her. He’d tried too hard to
show her how he changed, how he wanted to change and
in the process he drove her clear away.

Letting out an anguished cry, Spike went for the
phone and dialed Dru’s number frantically.

“Dru, I need your help,” he said into the phone as
soon as Dru picked up.

“Has the sun set this evening?”

“Yes,” he croaked. “I thought she’d like it . . . like me.
What do I do?”

“All will be well, my darling. All will be well.”

“How?”

“The sun will always rise for you, my Spike. Don’t you
trust me?”

Spike slid to the floor, and let William out as tears
seeped from his eyes. “I don’t know,” he told her honestly.

“She is your light, but I am the night. In darkness there
is strength to be found. Do not fear the dark, Spike. Once you
accept the dark, you’ll learn to mix the two.”

“Mix the light and the dark?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Time. Give it time.”

“I don’t want time, I want Buffy!” Spike shouted.

“Ah, see. It’s already happening.”

“I don’t understand,” Spike whimpered frantically.

“It’s simple. One word answer. Love.”



 

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