Roomies2

Chapter Eleven

Love. Of course. How did he manage to miss that? He supposed it was because he never gave it much thought. It was like breathing, or the sun setting, or waking up in the morning. It simply was. It was not love that was driving the wedge between them though. No, that was all him. He’d been so caught up in Buffy loving him back, in seeing him as a man and more than pushover William that he’d never thought to show her the love he felt. He wanted to be a man for her, but he wasn’t putting any of his love behind his actions.
And, it was about possession. Spike in him wanted her all to himself, wanted to possess her and brand her as his. William understood she was a free spirit and as such could not be possessed. There had to be a happy medium.

“Why Dru?” he whispered into the phone. “Why are you helping me?”

“So you’ll truly live,” she said simply.

“Why me?”

“So much all around you. Hope. Fear. Love. Doubt. No direction, just will. I couldn’t not help.”

“Do you . . . do you do this often?”

“That remains a secret, naughty boy. Now sshhh...think. What to do? What does Spike want to do?”

“He wants to find her and bring her back home. By her hair if I have to. He also wants to snap Rileys fingers off for touching her.”

She cackled, “Caveman, he is. And William? What does William wish? Think hard. I’m sure it’s not that far removed from Spike.”

Spike took a shaky breath. “He wants to find her and bring her back home. But with less violence to Riley.”

She laughed heartily. “That’s my boy. Now blend them. Make them. . . ONE.”
“Make William and Spike one?”
So that was the happy medium?

“Now he’s getting it . . . you must be one for the sun to come back.”
Spike gulped and nodded, not thinking how pointless that was since she couldn’t see him. Somehow though, he knew she understood.

“I have to go now, Dru.”

“Will Mummy see you tonight?”

“I uh. . . I have to find Buffy.”

“Tsk, tsk. Bad dog,” she scolded. “Too much fervor and the storm rolls in.
Lightening crashes and the rain pours, blinding reason.”

“Good-bye Dru, I’ll call you soon,” and he hung up. Getting to his feet, Spike wiped some errant tears away and straightened his gait. What Dru told him dashed across his mind, causing his thoughts to become befuddled. He only knew he had to get Buffy back. He just didn’t know how.

In the end he didn’t go after Buffy. He knew storming after her would only drive her further away. Even if she was with Finn.
He sat and pondered instead. He thought about how he’d always loved Buffy from afar, but had never admitted it to himself out of fear. He thought about the man inside of him, the one that wanted to stand up to the likes of Riley Finn and all those others that underestimated him and his abilities to be the stand up kind of guy that he knew was inside him all along. The man that Buffy needed. Why had he stopped himself from ever being him?

Fear.

There was that word again. What was it about fear that stopped you from doing what you most want? It was
crippling. It suffocated him; shut him inside a shell where he
pined away for Buffy and for a different lease on life. He’d
been afraid of what others would think, how they would
react to him. . .

He snorted. And look at how Buffy had reacted. Then again,
how could he blame her? Did he really think he could change
himself within a span of hours and have her just accept him?
He’d gone from Jeckyl to Hyde. How did he think she’d react?

He’d really bullocksed it all up. He was just so afraid of losing
her that he’d gone and inadvertently pushed her away and
blamed HER for not accepting him. William wouldn’t have done
that.

Of course. Combine the two to make one. Spike needed some
William and William needed some Spike. God, he was thick.
He really was a stupid git sometimes.

“He’s a . . . a . . git,” Buffy burst out, her words slightly
slurring now.

Riley looked at her, half confused and half amused. When
she’d suggested they go out for drinks instead of to a cafe,
he had no idea that he’d have a Buffy on a mission to get
sloshed on his hands. And, he had no idea when he’d asked
how William was these days; he’d get their biography over
the past few years. Apparently Buffy had a lot to get off her
chest. Not that Riley minded. He held no such illusion that he’d
ever get anywhere with Buffy Summers. That ship had sailed
no matter how he’d grown or what the passage of time
brought. Besides, he had a romance of his own that was
developing. He just thought it’d be nice to play catch up.

“What’s a git, Buffy?” Riley asked as she tipped back another
shot.

Buffy’s eyebrows knit together in confusion and Riley
couldn’t help but think how adorable it was.

“You know...I don’ know...” and then she laughed. “Jus’
somethin’ that William—Spike—says.”

“Buffy, do you love him?” Riley asked gently.

“Why does everyone keep askin’ me that?” she asked,
throwing her hands up in the air.

“Because I asked how William was and I got your history
from the moment you saved him from my bullying ways to
now. Plus, you seem awfully distressed over a haircut.”

“He dyed it Riley! It’s not JUST a haircut. And his curls!” She
waved her hand, “Gone!”

“I bet you don’t give much thought to Willow changing her
hair.”

“Well . . . no.”

“Which begs the question. Are you in love with him?”

“I’m hurt by him. I don’t understand him. He meets some...Goth
girl.... and he becomes ‘Spike’. He’s rude and demanding and
moody and,” she sniffled, “he’s not my William.”

“Well, Buffy...William was a wuss—“

“He was NOT a wuss!” Buffy exclaimed, glaring at
Riley. “And you’re very rude for saying so.”

“Okay, maybe ‘wuss’ was too strong a word.
He was...sensitive.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Buffy said
indignantly, huffily crossing her arms and turning her head
away from Riley.

Riley sighed. Backtrack time. “Buffy, why do you think I
picked on him in high school? He was an easy target. He
always had his nose in a book, he just looked weak.”

“Are you trying to help here Riley?” Buffy asked
sarcastically. “Now I remember why I dumped you.”

“Look Buffy, all I’m saying is that maybe William got tired of
being someone that bullies picked on. Maybe he wanted to
change. Maybe, he wanted to get himself out of lockers
instead of you coming to save the day for him.”

Buffy’s lip quivered. “You mean maybe he doesn’t want me
around anymore?”

Chapter Twelve

"Buffy, you can't honestly think that—" Riley started.

"Well, why not? I mean all this changing he did after moving in together. He meets Drusilla and he's suddenly rude to me and all about me ‘seeing him' as if I didn't see him before. Let me tell you, I saw him. I saw a whole lot of him. And what I saw was nice," she waved her finger at Riley. "He's got these sculpted abs that are completely drool worthy and it made me wonder why he kept so much of that delicious flesh hidden all—"

Riley held up a hand, grimacing. "Buffy, please stop. Not sure if you realize
just how emasculating it is to sit here and hear you go on about another
mans attributes."

She shrugged. "I'm just trying to make a point."

"Are you? What is it?"

She knit her eyebrows again. "Damn. Oh! I got it again. My point is he's
been shoving me away since he met her. I'm supposed to be his best friend,
if he wants to make some changes, then I'm right there with him to fully
support him. All he's done is shove me away," her eyes welled up. "He
doesn't want me around. He wants her and his new life and this . . . Spike
guy."

"Maybe it was something he needed to do on his own Buffy without your
help."

"Instead he had her help!?" Buffy exclaimed. "How is that okay?"

"It wasn't your call to make. Maybe she saw something in him that you
never did."

That did it. Buffy started to cry, loud hiccupping sobs that caused people at
other tables to stare and murmur to each other.

"Okay then, I think its time we got you home," Riley said standing up and
moving around the table to help her out of her chair.

"No! I don't want to go to the apartment. I – I want to go home to my
mommy."

"Okay, Buff. Let's go home to your mom. You should probably call
William—"

"SPIKE!"

"Okay, Spike, and let him know where you are."

"No," she said petulantly, wiping tears away and pouting. "I don't want him
to know anything. Why should I tell him anything? He doesn't tell me
anything anymore." She allowed Riley to lead her toward the door;
unaware of the apologetic glances he gave the bartender and several
customers.

Once the air hit her, she seemed to right herself a bit. The silence however,
was a tad disturbing. She'd gone on and on all night and now she'd become
eerily quiet. Riley kept an eye on her, in part because he was concerned
about her welfare and in part because he didn't want her to get sick in his
car.

"Will my car be okay?" she asked in a small voice after a few minutes.

"Yeah, it'll be fine. If you want, call me in the morning when you're feeling
alive and I'll pick you up to get it," Riley advised.

"Thank you, but you don't have to say that."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't exactly been a barrel full of monkeys tonight. I know you're
probably regretting asking me to go out."

Riley sighed. "Buffy, look, it's not like that anyway. I mean, I was glad to
run into you as an old friend. I'm kind of seeing someone—"

She looked up at him, smiling softly. "Really? That's great. Did you meet
her in school or boot camp?"

Riley beamed. "School."

"That's great, Riley," and she sounded sincere.

"Thanks. So listen, I don't ditch my friends because they can't hold their
liquor well."

Buffy laughed and then snorted, then promptly looked horrified.

Riley chuckled, "Or because they snort."

"Promise me you won't tell William."

"About how you got drunk?"

"That and where I am."

"That's not very mature."

She shrugged, "Don't care. Everyone's entitled to be a little immature
sometimes. Besides, it's not like he'll figure it out eventually."

"More like he'll think you stayed the night with me."

"Good. He's probably out with Elvira anyway," Buffy muttered.

"You don't have to admit it, but you are jealous of her aren't you?"

She looked at him, "Thank you from the department of the obvious."

Riley chuckled. "Because you're in love with him, right?"

She turned her head and stared back out the window.

Really, that was all the answer he needed.

*************************************************************

Spike was going out of his mind. He stared at the clock for the millionth time. Two minutes had passed since he last looked at it, but it was still two minutes longer that Buffy had not arrived home yet.

Jumping up from the couch, Spike started to pace. Where the fucking hell was she? If she was with him still . . . Spike growled at the thought. He would rip Riley to shreds for touching her.

"Feel like a bloody caged bird," he muttered to himself and made the
decision to go and find his girl and bring her home.

************************************************************

"Now Buffy, you don't have to tell me what happened—" Joyce started as she helped her daughter in bed after she'd unsuccessfully tried to undress and change in her intoxicated state. It was quite reminiscent of when Buffy had been learning how to dress herself and would get her shirts stuck on her head with one arm in a sleeve and the other out.

"Good, because I really don't want to get into it right now," Buffy said,
cutting her off.

"Can you tell me if it was William?"

"No," Buffy murmured as her eyes drifted shut against the cool pillow. "It was Spike."

***********************************************************

It was two in the morning when Spike pulled into the Summers driveway. Mama Summers was going to KILL him. On the other hand, if she hadn't heard from Buffy, then maybe he would have someone to worry with him.
He took a deep breath and climbed out of his car.

He set his hand in a fist and started for the door with his knuckles when
the door flung open.

"Hi Will."

Spike blinked. "Dawn? What are you doin' up?" he asked the shorter, dark
haired Summers girl.

"Couldn't sleep. Not with Buffy snoring—"

Spike started, "Buffy's here?"

Dawn eyed him, confused. "You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't know. I've been all over the bloody town lookin' for her—is
she all right?"

"She's passed out drunk."

"Drunk, you say?" Spike's jaw clenched. "So help me if that wanker did
anything to her or WITH her, I'll tear—"

"Will?"

Spike stopped abruptly. "Sorry, Bit."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Have you been drinking too? You sound funny. . .
Hey—your hair!"

"You wanna keep it down there, Bit? Don't want to wake—"

"Me?"

Joyce appeared at the top of the stairs, flicking on a switch and flooding the
hall and foyer with light.

Spike gulped. Joyce was a nice woman, but when provoked, a right scary
woman she could be. Especially when defending her girls. She was like a
Mama Bear defending her cubs.

"Come in William. Dawn, go to bed," Joyce ordered.

Dawn nodded and smiled at William before dashing up the stairs and off to
her room.

Spike shut the door and stared at the floor. "I'm sorry if I woke the house,
but when Buffy didn't come home, I got worried and went looking for her. I
knew she was out with Finn and I went a little crazy—"

"Will, stop. Breathe," Joyce said soothingly, placing a hand on his arm.

He looked up at her. "She all right then?"

Joyce regarded him. "You changed your hair."

"I did."

"I like it."

Spike smiled, "Thanks."

Joyce crossed her arms. "Are you ‘Spike'?"

Spike's eyes widened, "Buffy told you?"

"Not all of it. None of it really. I guessed. Call it mother's intuition."

"She's upset with me."

"Listen, William. You and Buffy have been best friends forever. You've
been through a lot and you've been there for each other through thick and
thin. Whatever's happened, or whatever's happening, your relationship is
too precious to let go. I only ask that whatever is going on, you work it out.
I'd hate to see you lose each other."

Spike shook his head, "Never Joyce. I'd never let Buffy go."

"Do you love her?"

"I do."

Joyce nodded. "Why don't you stay here tonight? It's late and I bet it
would comfort Buffy to know you were here. Even if she is upset with you."

"Can I –can I just pop in and see for myself that she's all right?"

"Of course. Just don't wake her. I think she was sweating alcohol. I'll get some bed stuff for the couch."

Spike nodded and dashed up the stairs. Third bedroom on the right.
Creeping to the door, he pushed it open slowly. The scent of ‘Buffy's room'
hit his senses first and he saw in his minds eye laughing at her as she belted
out Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl" into her brush. So many memories
with Buffy. So many carefree moments. How could he not love her?

Then the whiff of alcohol hit him. Joyce hadn't been kidding.

Quietly kneeling by the bed, he took in her sleeping form. He smiled. She
was snoring loud enough to wake the dead. Sure sign she was indeed drunk.
The light from the street filtered in and caressed her form so he could make
out the slight worry line creasing her brow. Gently, he smoothed that
crease with the pad of his finger.

"Buffy, baby, it's going to be okay. William hasn't left you. He never will."

She shifted a bit and murmured something. Spike paused. Joyce would
have his head if he woke her. As gently as possible, Spike leaned over and
kissed her brow quickly before standing and quickly, yet quietly leaving the
room. He shut the door and sighed heavily.

He really hoped she wouldn't be upset that he was there. They had a lot to
work out and hopefully she'd be receptive. Not that he could blame her if
she wasn't.

Chapter Thirteen

Buffy awoke slowly, her eyes still closed, wondering if she'd licked sawdust off the floor the night before. She knew she drank, but Jesus, how much did she actually imbibe? She lost count after the fourth tequila shot. Snuggling deeper into the bed, she yawned. Home. She was home. She wouldn't have been able to deal with facing William like this. His attitude on top of her headache? No way.

"Buffy, mom wants to know if you plan on staying in bed all day."

Buffy peered over her blankets to find Dawn standing in the doorway, a
put out expression on her face.

"I just woke up," Buffy responded, her voice sounding gravelly. She
grimaced. Asprin and orange juice, or a gallon of water. Maybe both. "What
time is it?"

"Noon."

"Haven't done that in a long time," Buffy murmured.

"So are you coming down? Mom's going to make you breakfast."

Buffy nodded. No rest for the weary. Besides, breakfast did sound good.
She didn't have hangovers like most. She craved food—the greasier the
better—after a drink fest.

"Can you ask mom to make sausages and bacon? And pancakes?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Anything else?"

Buffy fought the urge to stick her tongue out at her sister. "Orange juice?"

"Fine," and off she went. This time, Buffy did stick her tongue out. Climbing
out of bed slowly, she stumbled into the bathroom. God, she looked like
hell. She apparently hadn't bothered to wash her face the night before and
raccoon eyes greeted her. She looked and felt like crap. She pondered if
she'd have enough time to shower. The scent of bacon hitting her nose told
her no. So, she relieved herself, washed her face, brushed her teeth and
brushed her hair, pulling it back into a pony.

"Somewhat alive now," she muttered. She remembered about the car then.
After breakfast, she'd have her mom take her to her car. Then she'd come
back to the house and dutifully avoid William for the rest of the day. She'd
call him though. Or make her mom call him.

Real mature, Buffy, she scolded herself. You live with the guy, you pay
rent, you pay bills and you can't be mature enough to call him and tell him
where you are. Because I want him to suffer just a little bit. Make him
wonder what I'm doing or WHO I'm doing. Maybe I'll go out today and
change everything about ME. Maybe I'll cut my hair and be rude to HIM.
See how he likes it.

She almost smiled at the thought.

"Buffy! Breakfast!" Dawn shouted up to her.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy trudged down the stairs, her stomach growling as
the scent of everything she'd asked for assailed her nose.

"Mom, can you come over every day and cook me – what the hell are you
doing here?" Buffy stopped mid-sentence and mid-stride in the kitchen.

Spike was flipping pancakes, Dawn was sneaking out of the kitchen and her
mother was nowhere to be found. And why did he have to look so damn
adorable with his hair curling from lack of gel and a simple t-shirt on with
sweat pants. He looked like a little boy. A little boy she wanted to jump.
That pissed her off.

Spike grinned at her, "Cooking you breakfast."

"Who told you I was here?" Riley was going to die if he called.

"I came over last night. I was worried. I've decided we should get cell
phones so we can call each other. We might as well join the rest of the world
and have them firmly attached to our person at all times."

"You came over last night and what? Came back this morning?"

"No, your mum made a spot for me on the couch. I stayed."

"Why?"

"It was late and she offered."

"You could have gone," she told him huffily and grabbed the orange juice
on the table despite her pride.

"I didn't want to," he said softly.

"Why?"

"I wanted to be here when you woke up. I wanted to make sure you were
all right."

"Well, I'm fine. And I can finish flipping pancakes if you want to shove off
now."

"No, I think we need to talk. I know you're angry with me—"

"Figure that out did you? Was it the barely concealed sarcasm? Am I being

rude? Maybe I should throw in a few cryptic ‘you don't see me's' and then you'll know what it's like to talk to you."

"Okay," Spike sighed heavily, "I deserved that."

"And then some."

"Buffy, I'm sorry for acting like I have."

"Good. I'm glad you're sorry."

"Has it been that bad?" he asked incredulously.

"How did you feel when I told you I was going out with Riley?"

"Jealous."

"Okay, I was going for betrayed," she said, thrown off guard by that.

He ran a hand through his hair, causing the curls to spring through his
fingers. Buffy fought the urge to run her own fingers through them. Instead
she started to get her breakfast.

"Well, I did feel that too. I mean, the guy shoved me in lockers in high
school," Spike reasoned.

"Okay, well, that's how it feels when you go off and make all these changes
with Elvira and leave me out of it."

Spike sighed. "I know."

"No, actually you don't. You just think you do because I'm mad at you now
and you feel guilty. Every change in my life has been with you William.
Graduating high school, going to college, graduating college and then
moving has all been with you. And do you know why? Because I can't
imagine not having you around for all those things. So then when you go off
and start making all these changes and telling me that this is the person
you want to be and that I don't ‘see' you, how do you think it feels? And
how the hell am I supposed to understand when you don't bother to share
anything with me? I don't know what's going on in that head of yours—"

"Buffy, luv—" Spike started gently, walking over to her.

"You tell everything to her because she's suddenly the world to you—" her voice was rising steadily with each word.

"You know that's not true—"

"But I get slack for going out with Riley and then you come after me,
which, good job if I hadn't been here. Then you would have just freaked out
my mother for no reason when I could have been just fu—"

She was cut off by Spike's lips covering her own. It was a wholly
demanding and possessive kiss. Her toes were curling, she swore they
were. She swayed back from the force of it and had to grab his arms to stop
herself from falling back. He took that opportunity to wrap his arms around
her and haul her up against him. She could feel him harden against her and
she froze—Hey, he had a penis after all! The thought made her jump back.
This was different territory, her head was now spinning and she was highly
aroused. Where did he learn to kiss like that? Her thoughts went dark. Of
course. Drusilla.

She grabbed her plate and stomped off. Spike was on her heels.

"Buffy, we have to talk," he told her.

"No."

"Yes, godammit Buffy, you're no better than I am. Whenever things a
little tough, you take off!" he said heatedly and grabbed her arm, spinning
her around to face him.

"I don't want to talk to you right now. I want to eat my breakfast and take
a shower, possibly go back to bed so that this all can be a dream—"

"Was kissing me that bad?" he asked wounded.

She stared at him defiantly. "She teach you to kiss like that?"

He looked confused. "Who? What?"

"Never mind," she muttered and started off again.

"Buffy, stop walking away from me!"

Taking a deep breath, Buffy turned to him. "Look, I can't think right now."

He smirked. "So you did like the kiss."

"I need to eat and shower," she continued, ignoring him. "So I'm going to do that. Just go home William and I'll talk to you later."

He shook his head. "Nope. You eat and you shower. I'm going to do the
same in the guest room. Meet me outside on the swings when you're
ready."

"When did you get so demanding?"

He smirked, "We'll talk."

"If you're lucky," she muttered and stalked away from him.

"I'll come up there and drag you down here if I have to Buffy!" he called
after her.

"I'd like to see you try!" she yelled back as she made her way up the stairs.

He chuckled, "Oh, don't tempt me, kitten."

"I'm not your kitten!" she yelled and slammed her door.

"You'll always be my kitten," he said softly, reverently. "My little kitten
with claws."

Chapter Fourteen

Buffy sat on the bed after she showered and dressed, contemplating.

Contemplating the mystery that was William; contemplating the mystery
that was Spike. Spilliam? She giggled at that. Maybe that's what she could
call him. Maybe he'd see how dumb he's been. No, she frowned. That wasn't
fair. She gazed out her window, spotting William sitting on a swing in the
front yard, waiting for her. If she wanted to understand what was going on
then making fun of his attempts to change was not going to help. That'd just
drive the wedge further between them.

Then, there was the kiss he'd planted on her earlier.

That just threw a whole other spin on it all. That took her by surprise and
in retrospect, her reaction probably wasn't best, but he'd caught her
completely off guard. Her own feelings of attraction were causing her head
to spin and causing her world to tilt a bit, having him kiss her and thinking
there was something there for him as well, just threw her into a tailspin.
She never was one to handle things gracefully under pressure. She was
more of a ‘shoot first, apologize later' kind of girl.

And now here was Spike calling her on things, making her face things and
not letting her run away. For one thing, William would have never kissed
her, and for another, if he had, he'd have just let her walk away.

Maybe there was something to this new persona. Maybe. Nothing was
certain as of yet, so she didn't have to commit to anything.

She just needed to talk to him right now, right? Right. So, she would.
Hopefully with an open mind. But, as was just declared, nothing was certain
as of yet, so she didn't have to commit to anything.

*************************************************************

She kept her eyes on him as she marched towards him. He kept his gaze on
her too. She saw the warm eyes on her William along with the firm
determination of Spike.

She stood before him, an air of purpose around her.

"Why don't you sit down?" he asked her gently.

"I will eventually," she said, staring at him.

He stood, towering over her. "Then I'll stand too."

"Sometimes the person sitting is the intimidating one," she said with a
slight smirk.

He raised an eyebrow, "Is that what I am? Intimidating?"

"Well, I was going for me being the intimidating one," she replied and
ducked her head, blushing.

He put his finger under her chin to make her look at him. "Why?"

She met his eyes, "Because you already intimidate me."

"How?"

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"I want you to very much find out."

"Then why couldn't I be part of the change?"

He sighed heavily, dropped his hand and turned away. "Dru—"

"Her again!" Buffy huffed, throwing up her arms.

"Just listen please Buffy?" he asked, almost pleading.

Buffy pursed her lips together, hearing so much William in him in that
question, she couldn't help but listen. "All right. I'm listening. I think I'll sit
now," and she plunked herself down in the swing and looked up at him.

"Right. So I have the floor," he stalled, running a hand through his hair,
causing the newly gelled strands to unfurl. His curls bounced free and he
swore as he sought to put them back in place.

Buffy jumped up, taking hold of his arm and bringing his hand away from
his hair. He looked at her in question. "I like it when your curls are free.
Did I ever tell you I liked them?" she asked softly.

He shook his head, his eyes taking on a look of something akin to
tenderness and awe. "N-no, you n-never did."

She smiled, "I did."

"They're still there," he pointed out. "Do you like them shorter at least?"

Taking him in, she came to the conclusion that she did. She liked the
shorter locks, and even the platinum hair. It brought out his blue eyes all
the more somehow. Even with the glasses he still wore.

"I'm getting contacts," he told her. "I ordered them, just waiting for them
to come in."

"Not colored contacts though?" she asked, holding her breath.

"No, luv. Not colored."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I love your eyes William. Can I –call
you William?"

"Yeah, Buffy, you can still call me William. I realize I was a little hard on
you about that."

"A little? You were like name Nazi."

He chuckled deeply, "I'll always be William to you won't I Buffy?"

"You'll always be MY William," she said softly.

"I have changed Buffy."

"I know."

"You never said, do you like the hair?"

"I don't how to answer."

He cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know what answer will not warrant you biting my head off."

"Oh Buffy," he whispered, caressing the side of her face. "I never left you,
you know that don't you?"

"I do now," she replied, placing her hand over his.

"You're still the most important person in the world to me," he said with
conviction.

"What about Dru?"

"She's . . . she is important to me, but not in the same way."

She took his hand off her face and walked back to the swing, sitting down.
She was trying hard to squash any jealous feelings inside her, knowing if
she let them, they'd take on a life of their own and never get them
anywhere. This was about understanding Spike/William. This was not
about her jealousy over the woman that was responsible for changing her
William.

"Then tell me about Dru. And you and Spike. I'm listening."

"Are you? Will you hear me?"

"I'll hear you," she told him firmly. "I want to understand. Tell me so I'll
understand."

"What is it you want to understand?"

"You."

"Why?"

She knit her brows, "What do you mean why? Because you're the most
important person to me and I hate all this fighting we've been doing and it's
hard to be angry with you. I feel like I lost my best friend and that hurts
Will," her voice shook as she tried to reign in the tears that threatened to
fall.

He knelt before her, "Don't cry Buffy. You know I can't stand it when you
cry."

She swiped at her eyes, "Then start talking please."

"Come down here with me," he tugged on her hands and she acquiesced,
allowing him to pull her down to the ground so that they faced each other.
He laced his fingers with hers and squeezed gently.

"I wasn't exactly attracted to Dru in the traditional way," he began.

She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

"She was fascinating and you know how I am with a good mystery."

She nodded, understanding.

"So, with all her riddles and interesting metaphors, she was somewhat of
mystery and I wanted to . . . decode her," he took a deep breath, "then she
started going on about the man inside and how I needed to let him out. She
took me to this club and she went on about something as simple as walking.
She wanted me to walk like I owned the room. And I did. It was amazing
Buffy," he told her, his narration becoming animated with excitement.
"Girls looked at me like they wanted me and men looked at me as if they
hated me or wanted to be me. It was thrilling."

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at that. William tried to unlace their fingers
and draw back, his face a mask of hurt. She stopped him. "No, William,
listen. I wasn't laughing at you. It just—the way it sounded. With the men
looking at you as if they hated you and you thinking that was thrilling. Just
sounded funny."

He nodded, "It does, doesn't it?" he grinned. "But do you see what I
mean?"

She nodded, "They hated you because you were competition."

"Right. I've never been competition Buffy."

"Not true," she shook her head. "There have been many occasions where I
gave up hanging out with someone to be with you instead. I always want
your company."

"Not like that Buffy," he muttered. "Not the way I – not that way."

"So, then what?"

"I felt the man I was inside. He was different from William."

"He was Spike."

"Right. The moniker just seemed to fit and it was radically different than
William—I wanted different Buffy."

"But why were these things you felt you had to keep from me?"

He sighed, "I guess I didn't feel ‘done' yet. I felt that when you looked at
me, you saw weak, wimpy William. I don't want to be weak, wimpy William
anymore Buffy."

"With abs and arms like you have, I don't think you have to worry about
that," her eyes widened. "I just said that out loud."

His entire face lit up, "Buffy, you –"

Well, might as well go all the way now, she thought. "Saw you? Yeah,
William, I saw you."

"What does that mean Buffy?" he pressed, squeezing her hands as she now
tried to twist them out of his grasp.

"It means I want you to tell me more about Spike," she told him, slightly
peeved about her failed attempt to extricate herself from his hold.

"He's the guy inside me that goes after what he wants and says what he
feels instead of shying away. He has confidence and he can be fun, Buffy.
He's not that far removed from me. He IS me. And just like William, all he
wants is for you to like him."

"Will, you know if you wanted that guy to come out of you, I would have
been all for it—"

"Sometimes it takes someone outside to get you going," he told her quietly.
"It took someone outside of us, of our friends, to see what I needed to do."

This time she succeeded in twisting out of his grasp and she stood. She felt
the jealousy course through her and she bit back a snarl. "So, Dru helped
you become what you always wanted to be. That's great. I'm glad she could
do that for you."

"Buffy, pet, wait. You're missing one crucial part to the whole mix," William
said and stood up, facing her.

"What's that?" she snapped.

"It was really YOU Buffy. I did it all FOR you and because of YOU. When I
was in that club, I remembered you telling me I should hold my head high,
to talk as if what I said was important. The whole reason I even asked Dru
out was because, well, for one thing I thought you were making fun of me
for working out that day—"

"How could you even think such a thing?" she demanded. "I just – I
thought it was all for her and I – William, I never thought you were
unattractive."

"Thank you. So I asked her out and I remember someone telling me once that
‘nothing ventured, nothing gained'. That was you, Buffy. You were always
there with me, in my ear, on my shoulder," he grabbed her about the waist
and yanked her close to him. "It's always been about you and for you
Buffy," he told her huskily.

She gulped. "Wh-what about D-Dru?" she stammered, the stormy blue of
his eyes reeling her in.

"She's a good friend, a helper. Kind of like an elf," he grinned.

Buffy laughed lightly. "So . . . what now?"

"Now you help me be Spike and not lose William."

"I think you know how," she told him. "And as much as I hate to admit it,
you're right. Sometimes when you're trying to change and break free of the
mold you've been stuck in, the ones that are the closest to you are not the
ones that help. They want to keep you as you are. When we moved, I
wanted you to break out of your shell, and then when you did, I freaked. I
thought I was losing you."

"Never Buffy," he vowed.

"So, instead, I'll be there to support you. I will let you know when you're
being an ass—"

He chuckled, "Of course."

"But you have it in you to be the man you want to be. You don't need me
and you don't need Dru to do it. You don't want our spin on that man. It's
ALL you now William. I just want us to grow together instead of apart. Can
we do that?"

He nodded profusely, "Yes, Buffy, yes. God, I was so scared when I
thought I'd lost you last night," he told her and wrapped his arms around
her, burying his face in her neck.

"Never, William."

Chapter 15
Joyce was pleased to witness Buffy and William walking back to the house hand in hand. They both had smiles on their faces, brilliant enough to blind the sun itself. It was definitely encouraging. She’d been waiting a long time for Buffy to realize what she’d felt for William, and she’d waited a long time for William to push Buffy for more.

“Hey mom,” Buffy greeted her as she entered the kitchen
with William. “Where were you?”

Joyce smiled innocently, “I went to the garden stand on the
corner to get some new flowers to plant. Wasn’t William a
nice surprise this morning?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You’re about as subtle as a truck, Ma.”

Joyce grinned. “So are you two all better now?”

William smiled at Buffy, “For now anyway.”

Buffy laughed, “Yep, for now. As Scarlet O’ Hara used to
say ‘After all, tomorrow is another day’.”

************************************************************************
Spike’s good mood was laid to rest when Riley called later that day at the apartment, disturbing their peace. He was hoping to bring up the subject of their kiss. Something they hadn’t gotten around to discussing. Baby steps, right?
And now, Finn. Again. Like a hemorrhoid that just wouldn’t go away. In actuality he’d only been back in Buffy’s life for all of two days but it was an inconvenience of the worst kind – Finn was hording in on Spike’s girl!

He handed the phone to Buffy in barely concealed anger,
letting her know by the look on his face to get rid of him and
soon.

Buffy gave him a patented ‘I dare you to tell me what to do’
look and took the phone into her room.

Spike followed close behind. He wanted to know what the
wanker was going to say, insinuate, and try.

Buffy pushed him out of her room with an angry look and
shut the door on his face.

Spike growled at the closed door and started to pace. He had
to tell her how he felt. That was it. He had to do it. Thing was,
even with this new found confidence he was discovering;
the idea scared the shit out of him. He stopped and pondered
the close door, recalling the image of the look on Buffy’s face
after he’d kissed her. And when they’d been talking and he’d
brought her in his arms . . . desire. He’d seen desire and –
dare he name it—love? Of course there was the way she
reacted whenever Dru’s name was spoken – angry
outbursts that could only mean one thing: Jealousy. She’d
pretty much admitted it, but maybe it went deeper than just
simple jealousy over him making a new friend. It could be
something more.

Right?

So, instead of telling her, maybe he could show her.

********************************************************************
“So you guys worked it all out then?” Riley asked.

“Yep, we’re all good now,” Buffy said brightly. “Thank you
for putting up with me last night.”

“What are friends for? I figured something had to have
happened when I didn’t hear from you this morning. Buffy . . .
Did you tell him how you felt?”

“Uh—what do you mean? How I felt about his change? Yes.”

“No, Buffy, did you tell him you’re in love with him?”

“No! Why would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you are?”

Buffy chewed her lip, belying the fact that her heart was
racing. “I should go Riley. Will’s waiting for me. Roommate
bonding and all that.”

“What are you afraid of Buffy?”

“Heights and needles.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I have to go Riley,” she persisted.

“All right, all right, all right. I get the point. Listen do you want
to hang out tomorrow night? I’m throwing a welcome home
party for myself—pretty conceited right?”

She laughed, “Little bit, but it works. What time?”

“Eight. And bring Will and Willow. I’d like to see them.”

Buffy smiled, “Okay, I’ll do that. Thanks again Riley.”

Disconnecting their call, Buffy stood and stared at the door.
What the hell was she afraid of? Why did that word fill her
with dread? Wasn’t she supposed to be so thrilled to be in
love she’d think nothing of wearing an I heart William
sandwich board and ringing a bell for the world to know?
Maybe because things felt so uncertain still right now. Maybe
because he was still finding his way and she was starting to
think she needed to do the same. Speaking of she needed to
find out when she could meet with her old advisor so she
could discuss the option of law school. Now that she’d made
the decision that she wanted more for herself, she figured
she take a cue from William. No time like the present to start
making those changes. And, she was doing it on her own.

***********************************************************************

What the bleeding hell was taking so long? How could she
possibly be talking to Finn for this damn long?

When her door finally burst open, Spike was ready to
pounce. He eyed her as she came strolling out of the room as
if she hadn’t a care in the world.

She smiled brightly. “Hey, guess what I just did?”

“What?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“You been talking to Finn all this time?” he demanded.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “No, and you really need to get over all
that. He’s changed a lot. He’s not the same guy that pushed
you in lockers. He’s grown up, just like the rest of us.”

His eyes narrowed, “Then who were you talking to?”

“School. I’m going back,” she said beaming.

“What?” his jaw dropped.

“Well, I still have forms to fill out and I am going to work still,
but I’m going to night school. I’m going to go full steam ahead
and work my way to law school.”

Spike whooped and brought her into his arms, “I’m so proud
of you!”

She giggled, “Thank you.”

“Let’s celebrate, what do you want to do?”

“Well . . . “

“Uh-oh. . .nothing good can come when you start with that.”

“Oh hush up,” she swatted his chest, “Riley’s invited us to a party he’s having tomorrow night. He invited you and Willow
too. Come with me? It’ll be fun, I promise . . . “

Spike clenched his jaw. “Buffy. . .”

“Please?”

He sighed. Then staring at her, he grinned inwardly. Leaning in, he brushed her lips with his own, planting a kiss loaded with intent on them. Then abruptly he let her go and started for his room.

“Sure, I’ll go,” he called over his shoulder and had to fight the urge to go back to her after seeing the stunned and lusty expression on her face. Yep, he was going to make her want him. Badly.

Chapter 16:

"Willow, he KISSED ME!" Buffy exclaimed, waving her arms about. "I don't think you're quite getting what I'm saying here."

Willow stared at her friend, slightly amused. "You keep waving your arms
around like that and you're going to fly away."

Buffy dropped her arms. "Why do I get the impression you're not
surprised by this?"

"Because I'm not."

"Oh."

"Yeah, ‘oh'," Willow smiled. I'm rather impressed really that it's William
who made the move. Although I suppose it was only a matter of time," she
finished, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

Buffy rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch. "Is this where you
start to tell me that you've always known?"

Willow shrugged. "I could skip that part."

"Thank you. I've heard it enough thanks."

"Who else has been saying it?"

"My mother. Riley."

Now Willow's eyes widened. "Riley said it too?"

"Yeah, go fig."

Willow laughed. "Oh God you must really have it bad if Riley Finn even
noticed!"

Buffy smirked. "What are you trying to say Wills?"

"That either you're most definitely wearing your heart on your sleeve, or
somehow Riley's powers of perception grew. The guy wasn't exactly the
brightest bulb on the tree back in the day."

Buffy nodded, "He really has grown."

"So now does William know yet that he has a girl and that you guys truly
are just friends?"

Buffy started to squirm. "Not exactly."

"Why not?" Willow demanded.

"Because I'm still unsure about what's going on with him and Dru."

Willow chuckled, "So until you're sure, you have no qualms about making
him stark raving mad with jealousy."

"When you put it that way you make it sound bad."

"Because it is!"

"Hate the game, not the ‘playa'" Buffy giggled.

Willow looked at her sternly. "Buffy that's awful. You're not some guy
screwing around. William's your best friend and the guy you happen to be
in lo—"

Buffy jumped up and held up her hand. "STOP!"

Willow looked up at her confused. "In the name of love?"

Buffy glared at her. "Very funny."

"All right, I'm going to bite. You won't tell Riley, and I can understand that.
But just why ARE you afraid to admit it or even say it or anything
concerning that word?"

"Not anything concerning that word. I can say I love you Wills. I can say I
love my mom and 80's music and the color blue and—"

"All right, all right. I get the point. You can say you love. But why can't you
say you love William?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Just that. I guess by putting voice to it, it's like—"

"Admitting it?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Well, yeah. And it's –"

"Giving in?"

"See, you know already."

"Buffy, it's not like it's some guy off the street. It's William. You know he
thinks the world of you, you know he would do anything for you, you know
that he'd follow you into a snake pit if you said it was the best thing for
him."

"That's just it," Buffy said softly, sitting back down. "Except for the snake
pit thing though. Even William –and Spike—has his limits."

"So it's the fact that he would do anything for you that has you afraid?"

Buffy nodded. "I don't want to disappoint him. I don't want to hurt him.
I've always been the one that protected William. I always looked out for
him and kept the bullies at bay. What will protect him from me if I admit –
and then I advance--?"

Willow walked over to her and sat down next to her, her face a mass of
concern. "Buffy, William is a big boy. He knows how to take care of himself
and most of all – he knows you. You wouldn't do anything to hurt him, not
intentionally anyway."

"What if I did one day? Then I'd lose him."

"Not necessarily. Relationships and friendships are all about working
through the tough times and realizing that mistakes will be made, but that
nothing is broken that can't be fixed if two people really care and love each
other. And it might not be you that messes up. It could be him. You just
have to roll with the punches. Right now, the only one being bullied is
yourself, by yourself."

"Have I interrupted a womanly moment here? Should I go out and come
back again so you can finish this Lifetime moment?"

Both girls' heads snapped up to see William coming into the living room.

"Think we could get a bell for you as part of your new look?" Willow asked
dryly.

"Did you hear anything?" Buffy demanded, worriedly.

William grinned. "Why? Talking about me, pet?"

Buffy snorted. "You wish."

"You're right," he grinned.

Buffy's eyes widened and Willow chuckled. "I like the new look by the
way," Willow commented.

"Thanks, Red," he patted his hair. "Took Buffy a while to get used to it."

"Yeah, seems she hasn't been doing change very well huh?"

"No, but she's adjusting. Along with me. It's a learning experience for both
of us," William told her.

Buffy stood, "Check it out ‘SHE' is still in the room so maybe you can stop
talking about me as if I'm not here."

William chuckled, "Sorry pet," he came over and tapped her nose. "What
time do we have to be at Riley's again?"

"Eight."

"All right. You want the shower first?"

"Uh, no. You can go."

"All right. Maybe in the future we should consider conserving water, " and
he grinned saucily trailing a finger down her bare arm, causing goose
bumps to form in its wake.

Her eyes widened at the implication and a shiver went through her as
Willow burst out laughing. William chuckled and sauntered away as she
turned bright red.

"You see what I mean?" Buffy demanded of Willow as soon as William was
out of ear shot. "He's out of his mind!"

Willow laughed, "Yep, and all for you."

*******************************************************************
While Spike liked Willow well enough, he really wanted to be able to spend some time alone with Buffy. He wanted to be able to touch her again and make innuendos that would send her cheeks flaming -- preferably without an audience. He supposed that the party would not exactly be conducive to his plans, but he also figured it would be an excellent time to let Finn knew just who Buffy belonged to. She would not take kindly to that, so he would have to find time alone with Finn, but he'd find other ways to stake his claim.

When they entered Finn's apartment, the door opened by a very drunk
man who deemed himself the ‘door greeter' a little to cheerfully, Spike felt
himself start to shy away inside. Parties like this were not his usual forte.
He preferred quiet settings to the boisterousness of a party. Belligerent
fools dawdling around and laughing at things no one else understood but
them was not his idea of a good time. It was bloody annoying. It was in
crowds like this that Spike felt most protective of Buffy, and bitterly
reminded him of those days he would make himself the resident wallflower
while Buffy flitted around like a busy bee, working the room and gathering
up a few followers for the night. Every once in a while, she'd come to him,
seeming to recharge her batteries before heading off again. William would
watch with envy he tried to squelch and long to join her and be the one to
bask in her warmth. The one comfort he had was that it was he she always
left with. Small comfort to the sometimes stack of papers with phone
numbers she would gather by the end of the night. Inevitably, she tossed
out more than she kept.

He wasn't the same anymore, he told himself. He had every right to be by
her side. He was not beneath her, he was part of her. And, as he was
battling himself and all his inadequate feelings, Buffy had started to rush
forward to seek out Riley. Following instinct unlike the way he would
usually squelch it, Spike reached out and grabbed her arm, drawing her
back to his side.

She looked up at him in question.

"I want to see the old boy myself. With you," he told her.

She nodded slowly, and tried to release her arm from his grasp. Spike
instead swept his hand down her arm and grabbed her hand in his.

He watched Buffy look to Willow, seeming unsure of what her next step
should be. Willow merely nodded and grinned. "Let's go find him then," she
said.

For this, Spike had to thank Willow. She knew and understood. She
accepted it and supported it. He just wished Buffy would follow suit now.

Buffy led them, naturally. Some things would never change. Spike noticed
however, that she didn't seem to know where she was going exactly.

"Pet, you haven't been here?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "First time."

Relief swept through him and he squeezed Buffy's hand. She looked up at
him.

"What?"

He smiled, "Nothing just. . . Thank you."

"For what?"

"I'll tell you later."

She knit her brows together and then shrugged.

"Hey! You made it!" It was unmistakable voice of Finn. Not much could
erase that voice. He'd heard it enough times reverberating through his skull
as he'd taunted him behind a closed locker door.

Spike's eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on the oversized beefcake. He'd
bulked up more, if possible, but not much else had changed on him. Buffy
said he'd grown up. Well, that remained to be seen didn't it?

"William?" Riley asked, gaping at Spike.

"It's Spike now," he amended.

Riley grinned, "Buffy had said you'd changed a few things. How are you?"

Spike eyed him warily. "Fine."

"Listen man, I totally understand not exactly welcoming me like we're old
buddies and whatnot, but that was high school. I was dumb in high school.
It's over now, think we can just build a bridge?"

Spike glanced down at Buffy and tugged her closer to his body. He looked
back to Riley, his eyes telling the other man that he could forget the past as
long as he left Buffy alone in the future.

Riley grinned. "Great," he said before turning his attention to Willow.

Buffy looked up at Spike, "Did you guys just have a moment?"

Spike grinned and tapped her nose. "Yep."

"What was it about?"

Leaning closer, Spike released her hand and brushed her hair back from
her shoulder and whispered huskily in her ear. "You."

She pushed at him slightly and looked up at him slightly indignant and
mostly aroused. "I'm going to get a drink," and she started off. He grabbed
her hand again, and tugged her back to him. "What now?" she demanded.

"Not without me, Buffy. Tonight I get to spend the night by your side, do
you understand?"

"Will—"

"Do you?"

Chapter 17:

Chapter 17

Annoyed, Buffy wrenched her hand from his grasp. "I'm not cattle, SPIKE. You can't push me around and tell me what to do. If you want to come with me, that's fine, but I am not going to be made to feel as if I need to be shackled to your side. Do you understand ME?"

Spike gritted his teeth and was about to respond, when she took off. He started for her and Willow grabbed his arm. "Just give her a minute."
Spike started to protest, but Willow cut him off. "Do you want to drive her clear away?"

Spike stopped. Sighing, he replied. "No."

"Then give her a minute. No woman—hell no person, likes to be told what
to do. I think I understand why you felt the need to do that, but you can't
expect to come on all strong all of sudden and expect her to be okay with
it."

"I'm new to this Willow," Spike admitted, with an air of defeat. "I don't
know all that I'm doing here. I'm saying things and implying things that I . .
. I just want her to come to me."

"And she will."

Spike stared at her imploringly, "Will she?"

"Why don't we find someplace to talk?"
Spike looked toward where Buffy had headed, unwilling to let her out of his
sight.

"You want her to come to you right?" Willow asked.

Spike nodded, slightly pouting.

"Then make her wonder where you disappeared to," Willow grinned.

Spike smiled broadly. "You're a smart bird, I ever tell you that?"

Willow chuckled. "Once or twice."

It'd been a little difficult to find a place they could talk, but they happened
upon a fire exit that had just been vacated and they took up residence
there.

Once out there, beers in hand, Willow started in on her line of questioning.

"So Buffy told me about Drusilla. That's her name right?"

Spike nodded and grinned, "It is. I'm sure she had something other than
that to call her right? She's awfully fond of ‘Bride of Dracula'."

"She's jealous."

"Jealous because she wants me as a man, or because it threatens her
friendship with me?"

"Both."

Spike looked at her hopefully. "Do you really think so Wills?"

"Yes. Are you dating Drusilla? I mean, what's the deal with her?"

"She's a friend. A good friend."

"That's it?"

"That's it. I don't even think she has any interest in anything else with me.
She's been all about helping me get Buffy."

"Really?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Spike replied, scratching the back of his neck in a thoughtful
manner. "It's kind of weird actually. It was like she knew right away that . .
. "

"You were in love with Buffy."

Spike looked down. "Yeah." His head popped up. "So you've known huh?"

"For a very long time."

"Does she . . .?"

"Are you asking me to disclose private information?"

"No, never mind. I don't want you to do that."

"William, I gotta tell you that if you aren't dating Drusilla, you need to tell
Buffy that."

"Is she—?"

"I'm not disclosing private information, remember? I'm just telling you, to
let her know."

"I guess I kind of wanted to make her wonder a little since I wasn't sure
about Finn."

"Are your fears about him laid to rest now?"

"Possibly."

"So just for clarification purposes, and you don't have to answer me, but
when Dru was making you over, you and her didn't. . . you know?"

"Willow Rosenburg, are you talking about SEX?" he asked in a hushed
whisper, in mock shock.

"Dork. Yes, I'm talking about sex."

Spike grinned, "No, we never."

"So then, have you . . . ?"

Spike blushed and turned away, "Not at all embarrassing, Red."

"I thought with this new outlook on life you've adopted things like that
wouldn't embarrass you."

"I'm still me, Wills. I'm still the same old William, just a few things about
me are more pronounced than they ever were."

"Like actively pursuing Buffy."

"Right. And it's hard sometimes ya know? Like for example, when we got
here. I felt myself getting shy and uneasy about being here. I kept seeing
the same old scenario of me sitting in the corner and watching Buffy,
wishing I could punch every guy that touched her or talked to her, and
wishing it were me she was with all night."

"She always comes back to you William, doesn't that tell you something?"

"Yeah, but. . . I don't want to settle for just that anymore."

"I understand."

"So anyway, I felt ‘William' coming through. I had to shove that part of me
down, I don't want to be that shy guy anymore. I want to be the guy that
Buffy doesn't feel she has to coddle and mother all the time. I want to take
care of her for once."

"William, you always have taken care of her."

"Not the same way as she has me. I want to be a man for her Wills, not a
boy."

Willow nodded. "I see."

"And I had this plan where I'd make her want me so that she'd . . . and I
find myself saying these things like earlier about conserving water and I've
never. . . and then I wonder what the hell will I do if she does jump me?"

Willow giggled, "I'm not laughing at you, I'm not. It's just. . . Well, to be
frank? Looking at you now William, you don't look like a virgin. You look
like you've been around the block and then some."

Spike grinned, his chest puffing out. "Thanks."

"And I think when the moment comes, instinct will take over somewhat
and whatever doesn't, Buffy will be there to guide you."

"I love her Wills. I have for a long, long time. I want to be worthy of her
love in return."

"You are William. You always have been worth of it and she's always
thought so. It's why she was so afraid she was losing you."

"So she. . . loved the old me?"

"I can't speak for her, but I really think she did, she DOES."

"So . . . baby steps?"

"Baby steps."

Buffy's eyes scoured the room as she sipped her beer and stood in the dark
corner, trying not to make it obvious in case William was nearby that she
was looking for him. Had been for the past fifteen minutes. She was starting
to get impatient. And Willow was missing too. Great, did she have to be
jealous of her now too?

"Hey gorgeous," the drunk door greeter slurred in her ear.

She jumped and wrinkled her nose as the scent of his breath wafted to her
nose. "Uh, hi," she said turning to face him.

"Where'd your boyfriend go?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"He's not?"

"Nope."

"Fuck buddy?"

"What? No! We're roommates and best—"

"Ah, live in fuck buddy."

"You're disgusting," she spat and started to walk away.

The guy grabbed her and slammed her up against him, walking her
backwards around the corner and into what appeared to be a bedroom. He
ground his erection into her. She wanted to throw up. "No reason you can't
share the wealth, bitch," the guy sneered.

"Get off me!" she shouted at him and shoved him.

He shoved her against the wall, hard. "Come on baby. Don't be coy."

Slamming his lips against hers and catching her off guard, Buffy lost some of
her balance, thereby sending her into his arms. He grinded and she pushed,
feeling something akin to panic set in.

"Get AWAY from me! Get OFF me!" she yelled, hoping someone would
round the corner or hear her above the music and chatter.

"Don't be such a bitch," drunk guy slurred and slobbered on her neck.

"Buffy?" William.

Relief flooded through her and she nearly sobbed William's name.

That's when she watched in amazement as William hauled the guy off her
and punched him dead in the face. He crumbled to the ground in a heap,
passed out. He turned to her, "Are you all right?"

She burst into tears. "He just wouldn't stop touching me. I kept saying ‘no'
and he was gross and no one was coming. Will, I want to go home!"

He took her in his arms, ran his fingers through her hair soothingly as she
held onto him for dear life and cried into his shoulder.

"Can we go?" she whimpered.

He nodded. "We'll collect Willow and go all right?"

"Okay."

Wrapping his arm around her, he kicked the guy for good measure in the
ribs and led her out of the room.

"Hey there," Willow started cheerily, bouncing up to them and then
stopped. "What happened?"

"Some guy didn't know how to take no for an answer," William explained.
"Coming?"

"Definitely. Should someone tell Riley?"

"I just want to go," Buffy whimpered and snuggled into Williams embrace.

"We're gone," Willow declared and they made for the exit.

Buffy relaxed once they were out of the apartment. William turned her in
his arms and studied her. "Did he hurt you bad?"

"Just scared me," she told him. "He just took me by surprise and I thought
with all those people around . . ."

"Sometimes that's when it's easier for someone to do something like that,"
Willow explained. "Busy party, no one really talking all that much and you
see something across a room that looks like a couple making out and you
don't pay much attention . . . I'm sorry Buffy."

"I think once I got over the shock I could have done something," Buffy said
softly.

"You're safe now," William said gently, brushing some hair away from her
face.

She nodded. "Take me home?"

"Of course luv."

Chapter 16: