Chapter 11

Xander walked in through the back door of the Summer's home under the protective cover of an over sized umbrella. He shook himself off like a dog and tossed the soaked umbrella at the door after closing it."Too much more of this and my webbed toes might actually be a blessing," he muttered to himself. He tossed the box of salvageable doughnuts he'd brought with him onto the counter and looked about the house. He noticed their power was out, as was most of Sunnydale's that morning."Buff? Dawnster?! Rise n' shine!" He walked from the kitchen, keeping his ear open for any sign they were up, but there was nothing. He was about to go back out and leave them to sleep in when he noticed there was someone sleeping on the couch. Moments later he stood over Spike, unfettered rage slowly climbing from the pit of his guts until it would explode from him, just as Spike would when he became dust.

Walking to Buffy's weapon's chest, the one he so lovingly had made for her, he opened it and withdrew a stake. His manner was casual, cold, but there was no lacking for emotion. Spike had been the bane of his existence since he'd first come to town. He lost Cordelia because of him; then Anya, especially Anya; and now the vampire was back at making himself at home where he didn't belong. In Xander's mind Spike only caused pain and suffering to the people he cared about and if he could save Buffy and Dawn from the misery he would do it.

William awoke, innocently still curled under Spike's chin, it was definitely a comfortable place and the vampire hadn't moved all night, unlike Dawn or Buffy that constantly rolled around and disturbed his sleep. The kitten yawned and was about to snuggled in deeper to return to slumber when he sensed danger. Acting purely on instinct William dug his claws into Spike's chest and hissed violently. It was enough to stall Xander and to wake Spike. The cat leapt off and Spike bolted from the couch and away from the impending staking."Bloody hell, you stupid pillock!" he shouted, taking an automatic defensive stance. Xander wagged a finger at him, his entire body shaking with anger.

"You shouldn't have come back here."

"Yeah, well, you don't get a say in my life, boy."

"But I will in your death!" With that comment spat from his lips, Xander lunged at Spike, only to be pushed back off his feet. Disorientated, but operating on a surge of adrenaline, Xander was back on his feet and coming for the vampire again. Spike danced around Xander's clumsy jabs, feeling back on his game since he couldn't remember when, suddenly enjoying the morning's spot of violence. Where Xander Harris was concerned Spike thought he'd earned it.

"You know something, whelp, I owe you a few things..."

"Shut up!"

"Because of you I decided to make some changes in my life....you helped me see it."

"I thought I told you to shut up!"

"Make me. Come on, you pathetic wanker, give me your best." Xander rushed him and pushed him hard against the wall at the bottom of the stairs and the pressed the stake to his heart, holding his arm across Spike's throat."One thing about you that I could always count on..."

"What's that?"

"If you had any brains that chunk of wood be through my heart already.....thanks for that, I love the build up...."

"Build up to what?" Spike grinned, the demon's yellow creeping into the corners of his blue eyes.

"To this." Spike's fist came between them in a rocket of an uppercut, sending Xander flying. He lay back in the living room, conscious, dazed and shaken with the realization that Spike was laughing his ass off instead of howling in pain. Thundering footsteps were heard upstairs and Spike silenced himself, Dawn and Buffy rushing down seconds later.

"What happened!?" Buffy cried, stopping at Spike and grasping his forearm, then noticing Xander still on the living room floor rubbing his jaw."Xander?"

"He tried to stake William. I stopped him," Spike offered, quite proudly. By now the kitten had returned to the battle field and Spike bent down to take the kitten in his hands."Harris was gonna stake me, love, but our fuzzball woke your dear vampire up just in time." He passed the kitten to Dawn and gave him a scruffle behind his ears in thanks.

"Does this mean I can go back to bed? Crisis averted?" Dawn asked.

"Go on, nibblet, no worries 'ere, right Xan-man?" Spike added on a smirk to his condescending tone, Dawn however was already gone.

"Spike, what happened?" Buffy asked. By now Xander was on his feet, his anger not having dissipated in the least.

"I told you, I was asleep, he tried to dust me...the kitten woke me just as the thing was coming down."

"Buffy, explain to me what's going on here," Xander demanded. She looked back and forth between the two of them and heaved a sigh.

"I so don't need this right now. Xander, I told you about all the gifts I was getting, turns out it was Spike all along."

"So, he's stalking you again, great."

"He's not stalking me....he's.....I don't know what he is, but I want him around."

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"If I am, Spike's coming along for the ride."

"What is it with you and him...after everything he's done to you....for God sake's Buffy he almost raped you...." Spike's arm vibrated under her touch, but when she looked him she knew it wasn't because he hated Xander for pointing out his failing, but instead because it evidently brought up their discussion from the night before. Spike's jaw was set again, stern and painful, he swallowed hard and his adam's apple looked like a boulder in his throat.

"Xander...that's between me and Spike and no one else..."

"He hit me! Buffy.....god, I just realized...the chip...the chip didn't stop him!"

Chapter 12

Buffy turned to Spike with the look of shock and horror he'd have expected from her being told this way, he'd hoped for a little understanding from her, especially after last night. No, she was livid, frightened, everything he didn't want her to be. He'd wanted to earn her trust and then tell her as proof of his change, now she'd only see that he'd lied to her. She'd stopped touching him, her hand had fell away and with what little hope he'd been clinging to. He looked at Xander, bruise forming on his jaw, smug satisfied look on his face. Spike huffed and looked sky ward, half hoping lightening would strike and save him the trouble.

"You ever get tired of being a total bastard Harris?" He turned to Buffy and tried to look as innocent as possible,"I was gonna tell you, love....it was on my list."

"You have a list?" she replied with disgust laced over the words.

"Yeah....roses, poetry, diamonds, dinner, heart to heart chat, snogging, kitten cuddling, tell Buffy I got the chip out.....and punch out the whelp for being a total bastard."

"Buffy.....kill him now...." Xander pleaded.

"Xander be quiet...." Buffy admonished,"Spike....get.....get out." He was expecting it, but it still hurt when it came. He picked up his coat from over the other room and slipped it on, he turned to her, making sure she'd see the hurt in his eyes and hopefully something else.

"You sure do run hot and cold, don't you? I thought your head was clear, you said it was," he spoke in calm voice,"You think kicking me out again's gonna make you happy? We know better. You have no idea how good I could be for you, not a bloody clue and you you're too much of a coward to even try.You think that last night before I left was the lowest we ever got? It's right now, Buffy. What we could be to each other...how much love we could give..." Xander snorted and stormed over to Buffy, grabbing her hand and shoving the stake into it.

"Do it now, Buff, stop this insanity now!" he urged. Spike ignored the other man and looked at Buffy, piercing her eyes with his.

"Can you see it, love? Can you see how much I love you? Can you see what I did for you?" Buffy made a face of confusion and tried to interpret what he meant. She wanted to run from him, but something in his eyes wouldn't let her look away. Something behind the blue was calling out to her to be noticed and when she finally did it she tore apart at the seams. The stake fell to the floor with a hard din. She raised her shaking hand to touch him, but could not quite bring herself to do it. Spike closed his eyes, breaking the spell that held them. He pulled the coat up tight, then walked out the front door into the rain. For a second Buffy panicked, it was the day after all, and ran after him, but stopped at the edge of the porch. There was no sunlight to burn him with, so instead she watched as his car left her driveway and raced down the street.

"Buffy?" Xander asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away and ran upstairs, leaving Xander even more bewildered. A while later Dawn found her sister curled up in a fetal little ball on her bed, clutching Mr. Gordo to her chest and sobbing. Dawn lay down next to her and wrapped her arms around her older sister, hugging her close.

"I'll be okay, Buffy," Dawn whispered.

"He's gone....." Buffy choked out,"He's gone again."

"No he isn't, he promised he'd never leave again."

"But I made him....I kicked him out...he won't come back....Xander, he...."

"Stop listening to Xander, he's just angry 'cause of what happened with Anya. Xander doesn't know Spike like we do."

"Spike said I was a coward....why can't I just make it right for once? Why can't we stop hurting each other?"

"'Cause you're both very stupid, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Buffy let out a little laugh."Spike loves you...you just have to believe in that..."

"I do...Dawn, you know what he did for me?"

"Yeah, I know....and he had to fight for it, he almost didn't make it, but he gets to keep it forever.....he never once thought about giving in.....that's how much he loves you. Don't you think it's time you showed him the same?"

"You think he'll still love me even when he finds out I'm an idiot?"

"I think he already knows....besides, he's an idiot and we still love him."

Chapter 13

Spike drove around Sunnydale with no clear sense of where he was going, he simply needed to feel the movement, if he stopped he'd probably go ballistic. Once again his well intentioned plans had blow up in his face, thanks to Xander Harris, for the most part at any rate. At least Spike had the satisfaction of having punched him out to carry him through. He wasn't morbidly upset over what happened with Buffy, he understood both her predicament and her apprehension. It still hurt a great deal, there was no getting around that. Just once he'd like for her to make it clear to someone besides Dawn that he was important. The pesky soul was telling him he needed validation, someone who understood him. As if heralded by a host of angels, he found himself just passing the Magic Box. Time to check up on Demon Girl, heaven help her if she's hooked up with the cream puff again.

He pulled the DeSoto in behind the building and took a fortifying swing of bourbon from his flask, just to take the edge off. Seeing Anya again was actually going to be a delight, he liked her, and not just because they'd shagged. That time was actually a bit of a blight on his history. Only because it had served no real purpose but for the two of them to drown their mutual sorrows. At the time they'd been okay with each other afterwards. He hoped she didn't think badly of him. On the other hand, that night had also set in motion the chain of events that lead him to who he was now. It may have taken him a little while to get used to it, but the soul felt at home now. His emotions went for a bit of a tailspin, but the thoughts he had now , the things he imagined, the calm and goodness he felt inside - he wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

He pulled his coat up again and made a mad dash for the back entrance, trying to not get soaked again. He entered the training room, it hadn't changed in the least. Spike looked around for a time, but his attention was diverted by a long moan coming from upstairs. Spike knew that moan, he'd made her moan like that before. He perked his vampire hearing and detected the sounds from coming upstairs. He climbed the stairs carefully, waiting for it.

"Oh Rupert!!!!" she cried.

"Rupert!? Bloody hell!" Spike uttered to himself,"She's done the Scooby men! Better not have any designs on the birds....Slayer's mine!" He took the rest of the stairs two at a time, then snuck the door open and peaked around the corner to spy Anya and Giles engaging in a little pre-start of the business day activity. He crossed the floor of the store over to the counter and hopped up. Casually pulling a cigarette from inside his coat and lighting it, watching and highly amused as they basked in their afterglow."Must say, Anya, your taste in men continues to improve." The lovers shot up with a jolt, Giles frantically grabbing to pull up his pants and Anya quite casually adjusting her own, sliding her panties back up her legs."Giles you randy old dog!"

"Spike!? My god have you no decency?"Giles exclaimed.

"Very little. Neither do you, obviously."

"Respecting other people's privacy?!" the former Watcher exclaimed, nervously stuffing his shirt into his pants. Anya patted his shoulder.

"Be nice, Rupie, he paid you a compliment somewhere in there," Anya cajoled.

"You've managed to keep your tie straight, guess some things will never change, eh? Hello Anyanka, pet, you look ravishing as ever...thought I'd pop in before you opened shop, let you know I was back in town. Keeping well I see?"

"Very well, and yourself?"

"Can't complain....well, yes I can, but I won't - ran into your former earlier, he tried to stake me."

"Capital idea," said Giles. Anya gave him a scolding glare.

"Figures...want a wish?" she offered, but he knew she was only joking.

"Ta, but no thanks, love, I'm through with causing damage...I'll settle for gettin' my kicks by embarrassing the hell out of the fidgety git in the corner. So....shaggin' Giles, I always knew you two would get it on one day."

"I'm not just shagging him, Spike, I'm dating him....I've fallen in love with him."

"Have you now? Good on you."

"Have you seen Buffy?"

"I have...complicated."

"Spike...what are you doing back in Sunnydale? And when are you leaving again?" Giles inquired, finally back to his old stuffy self.

"Hate to disappoint, Rupie, but I'm here for good. Or until the Slayer stakes me, which I don't think'll occur now. Got m'self a lil' insurance on that score."

"Indeed."

"Tell me what you think? Is it my color? Fits lovely." He jumped off the counter and twirled himself around.

"What? Spike I...oh good god you have a soul....well doesn't that just take the cake?"

"Thank you! Bloody well though you'd notice....what does it take for that woman to wake the hell up to me? Sure she'll spend two hours snogging with me till my lips bleed....but suss out I'm ensouled.....nooooooooo...have to break through those barriers o' her's with a bloomin' sledgehammer. Oh yes, the chip's out."

"So that's the sort of day I'm going to have.....brilliant. Bloody hell..."

"That's my line."

"Buffy knows this?!"

"She does....but, well...I'm kinda tired of getting my heart stomped on...and I don't mind sharing that I'm a little sick of all this bloody drama....fancy a pint? I'm buying? Somewhere with atmosphere...hash smoke in the air and the Who playing in the background?"

"Spike it's not even 9am!"

"Oh go on, Rupert, you know you want to," Anya prodded.

Chapter 14

"The Sarlaak?! That's impossible, he's only a myth!" Giles protested as he sat across the table in a booth at Willy's, the only bar open at that time of the morning that had even a remote bit of what Spike was looking for, as it was the Doors were blaring in the background.

"Yeah, sure he is, I got my soul restored in Cleveland by the owner of a mystic bowling alley. I went to Sarlaak n' faced his stupid bloody trials and now I have a sodding conscience and a whole heap of hurt thanks to the Slayer."

"How on Earth did you make it through his tests, the legends speak of insurmountable challenges..."

'Cause I'm a tough son of a bitch, bloody smart one too.....wasn't too hard - except the math, bloody suck at mathematics. I did get hitched on one of the essay questions, but I bullshit m'way through it well enough."

"He made you take the SATs?" Spike rolled his eyes and took a long, healthy gulp from his beer.

"Not you gimboid. Fire and brimstone, acts of cunning, ancient puzzles and mazes, terrific beasts, philosophical debates, whole nine yards. In the end he put his hand into my chest and *boom*....chip gone, soul back. It was euphoric...hurt like a mofo. I suppose you'll want me to write out some sort of detailed report on this?"

"Would you? That would be most fascinating...." Spike gave him a look belying his last statement,"Fine, but we'll be having another discussion and I won't let you get out of it. This is....this.....do you even realize how unique you are?"

"Not that unique, mustn't forget Peaches n' all his specialness....bloody poofter....I can just see him now, he'll go into an uber-brood now that he's not the only one."

"Spike, you're the only vampire, demon, to actually seek out and earn a soul...that's remarkable. I have a new respect for you. And I always preferred you to Angel under any circumstance, bloody Irish." Spike chuckled, he'd certainly come back to a different Rupert Giles.

"I hear yah. You still hate m'guts though, right?"

"Well, of course I do, prat, you slept with Buffy." Spike smirked, Buffy had surprised him once again."She did tell me, without graphic details, of your....uh.....relationship...all of your relationship from beginning to end. She also told me of her remorse over how she'd used you, as well as how things had been left between you."

"We already talked....but then...."

"You bollocksed it up? Typical."

"Terrific, now you're takin' the mickey outta me? Someone stake me."

"I don't think Buffy would approve. Despite all odds she does seem to care for you. It's not exactly easy to love a demon, you know....give it time."

"Anya impart all the key information to you?"

"About your drunken tryst? It's in the past, for all of us. I quite taken with her you know? I never had the liberty to consider her before, then Xander of course became a total bastard....Anya and I came together shortly after what occurred with Willow, we fell in love. Quite remarkable, really. After that, going back to England was simply no longer and option." Spiked took up his glass and clinked it against Giles'.

"Here's to the future, Rupie."

"Git."

***

Buffy walked into the Magic Box with a certain amount of trepidation. There were a few customers scattered about while Anya attended to paper work. Buffy stayed near the door for a time, observing the demon in human form. Anya, or rather Anyanka, was very beautiful, it was no wonder Spike had been with her. Buffy mentally swallowed her jealousy, she knew she had no right to it. Anya and Spike had both been hurt by the ones they'd loved, they were drunk and needed someone to make them feel worthwhile, something Buffy herself understood. Nonetheless, it still hurt in the worst way, which made her need to find the vampire all the more urgent. The two women had managed to stay on good terms, though only saw each other sporadically. Usually whenever a crisis caused them to assemble for research.

Buffy inhaled a full breath and stepped down into the shop. Anya looked up from her work when she saw Buffy out of the corner of her eye."Morning!" Anya greeted cheerily, her smile putting the Slayer to instant ease.

"Hey....how's it going?"

"Very well, thank you. He's not here." Buffy was a little taken aback by the other woman's perception.

"I.....who?"

"Your face is an open book, Buffy. Spike's not here, but he was earlier. He's out with Giles telling him about how he got the chip out, got a soul, yadda, yadda, yadda. I was nice to see him, I was a bit concerned, but he looked well don't you think? Still profoundly sad, but at least he doesn't brood about it. For the record there is no residual affection, lust, nor animosity between us, we're friends. Does that about cover everything?" Buffy was dumbstruck, but after all this was Anya's usual manner and sometimes it was a relief.

"Yes, wow...um thank you? Was he really upset?"

"Crushed, I'd say, broken...just sad. I'm not surprised, vampires are highly emotional and sensitive creatures. It must be very difficult to go so long without being loved, and I don't mean sex. Vampires of master lines like Aurelians thrive on it, as well as the opposite. If they go too long without being cared for or appreciated they become wasteful pathetic creatures, might as well just stake them."

"Why do I get the feeling you're trying to lay the mother of all guilt trips on me?

"Because on rare occasions you can be rather perceptive. Us demons need to stick up for each other and I feel Spike and I have formed over getting our hearts ripped out and stomped on by core Scoobies."

"Yeah, I guess you do."

"Xander's a classic neomaxizoomdweebie, I prefer being loved by a person who's considerate, mature and appreciative of all my qualities, demon included - can you do the same for Spike?"

"I want to, if he'll give me another chance. That's why I need to find him."

"I'm sure Giles can help, once he gets back, he's very giving that way." As if on cue, the bell hanging at the entrance announced his return. He came straight towards the front counter, shaking the rain off his shoulders. He gave Anya a wink before turning his attentions to the Slayer.

"Ah, Buffy, this is fortuitous, I was going to call on you later today."

"Giles, where he is?" Buffy pleaded.

"Spike? Yes, well, after our talk..."

"He didn't leave town again did he?"

"No, dear, he was emphatic that he would remain in Sunnydale so long as he could be some modicum of use to you - on patrol, looking out for Dawn, as an informant..." Buffy stomped her foot and growled at her former Watcher.

"No emotional blackmail today please...I think Spike and I are on overload as it is." Giles actually smirked as he placed a loving hand on her shoulder.

"Buffy you'll see him again soon enough and then you both can set things to right....you're both very forgiving sort of people when comes to each other - it hasn't always been that way."

"No is hasn't...things have to be better now. How was he Giles?"

"One kind word from you and none of it will matter."

"Giles, you're giving us your consent? It sure sounds like it and that's not normal."

"Let's just say, I've earned a new perspective and appreciation for his kind."

Chapter 15

Giles settled himself in with organizing and taking stock of the new shipment of Zuni fetish figurines while Buffy and Anya commiserated in the back over coffee and muffins. He found it highly amusing that a 1000 year old vengeance demon was giving Buffy advice on love. His relationship with Anya remained private for the simple fact that they considered it something precious to hold close to their hearts. However now that Spike had discovered them it was doubtful it would remain a secret for much longer. A part of Giles was rather looking forward to the revelation, particularly where the cad Xander was concerned.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered to himself as Xander came into the store. There was a lull in the flow of customers, not doubt due to the rain and the store was presently empty. This meant whatever issue Xander was no doubt about to explode upon him could not be avoided.

"Giles! We've got big troubles!" Xander declared.

"Indeed, tear in your umbrella?"

"Vampire - a bleach blond, evil murdering rapist vampire. Spike's back."

"Shocking." Giles' sarcastic tone went totally unnoticed.

"I almost had him this morning....but, get this, the chip doesn't work anymore. We're all in danger now. If we get on this quickly we can track him down and stake him. Buffy can just think he skipped out again."

"Tell me one thing Xander, if the knowledge of it is within your grasp...do you ever tire of being such an ignorant bigot?"

"Say what?"

"There will be no staking of Spike or interfering with him in any way. Unless of course you no longer wish to have Buffy and Dawn in your life." Xander was stunned by Giles' defense of the vampire, he couldn't conceive of any one taking up for him.

"Are you nuts?! He's evil!"

"Hardly...not any longer at least. I spent the better part of the morning with him and I can assure you he's far from evil - I dare say I consider him quite responsible, remorseful, even noble."

"Noble? You're off your rocker. I think the fungus from some of your old book has invaded your brain...are you forgetting that he took advantage of Anya and tried to rape Buffy?" Giles slowly, cooly removed his glasses and started cleaning them with meticulous precision.

"Do not put names upon him - he did not take advantage of Anya, she told me in her own words what transpired; and as for Buffy she has made her feelings on the incident clear to me and I trust her to know what she wants and evidently it happens to be Spike afterall."

"This is insanity! Fine, if you won't do anything, then I will. Spike's as good as dust."

"Don't you dare, Xander!" Buffy exclaimed, she and Anya's attention being drawn out from the back room.

"Buffy? Damn...I...." She came out from the back room and over to him, keeping a slight distance, but looking him square in the eyes.

"Xander, you're one of my best friends and I care about you so much, but I don't care that you hate Spike. I'm telling you once and for all, don't ever try to kill him or you'll answer to me." Xander huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Hasn't living on the Hell Mouth all these years meant a thing? We kill vampires and we kill demons."

"Open your mouth a little wider Xander," Anya spoke up,"Maybe you can fit your other foot in there."

"An....I didn't mean..."

"Yes you did and it's wrong. You never used to be so bitter - wake up, Buffy's in love with Spike."

"Buffy? That true? Are you really in love with that monster, the one who almost violated you?"

"Xander," Buffy breathed out, this was her moment of truth and she wasn't going to fail Spike this time,"Yes, it's true, I love Spike and as soon as I find him I'm going to tell him." Xander nodded, a smug look of self righteousness almost painful to behold on his face. He backed away from them in dismay and left the magic shop with his head hung low.

Chapter 16

Buffy sighed and composed herself, she hated hurting Xander and she knew how skewed he must think her view on Spike was. But she also knew the things that complicated Spike, the shades of gray and the multi-layers. She knew both his beauty and his beast, she'd experienced both in their extremes, but something was different about Spike and it wasn't due entirely to the newly acquired soul. The dichotomy that had always been Spike's entire persona had somehow tempered itself, the yin and the yang had finally come together. And now the soul he'd fought so hard to gain had changed him the fundamental levels. She'd seen glimmers of it before he'd left, but now that he was home she felt it in her bones. Spike was a man she could and did love. Buffy turned back to Anya and Giles, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Thank you both for backing me up," she said,"I don't expect Spike and Xander to ever like each other, or even be civil...but they both are going to have to come to terms with how things need to be, I care for them both."

"I'm sorry Buffy but I don't think Xander will ever accept Spike," Giles said honestly.

"I know....and if I have to choose, it will be Spike."

"We know Buffy, once you have found the one you're meant to be with...it's just the way it has to be."

"I just wish I knew where he was...I need to find him."

"Before Xander does, that's for sure," said Anya. Buffy let the solemnity of Anya's words sink in, of course Xander was still going to go after Spike.

"Oh god...." Buffy gasped as she turned and ran out into the storm. Hours later night had fallen and Buffy had been running mad all over Sunnydale in search of both Spike and Xander. She'd been to every demon bar she ever knew Spike to haunt, she scoured over every inch of almost every cemetery, but to no avail. At length she returned to Spike's crypt, which was empty, even of her candles and books. She needed a rest, but she couldn't, any delay could cost her everything, but after so many hours the Slayer was utterly exhausted, hungry, soaked from the rain and the gnawing ache in her heart wouldn't cease. Eventually, after wandering some time in a daze, Buffy had a flash of deja vu. She was at the edge of Spike's cemetery, close to where the river ran through.This was also the exact spot where Katrina's body had been found.

A twig snapped behind her and Buffy whipped around into a fighting stance, stake ready. There was no light whatsoever, only pulsating beats of rain and the blackness. Relying solely on instinct Buffy advanced, keeping her heart rate steady, her mind focused. A substantial form was emerging from the bushes, ominous and.....

"Xander? Is that you?" Buffy asked, knowing her friend even in the middle of the all chaos. He found her slight frame, barely human in the drench. He came close and they huddled against a tree.

"Buffy.....what are you doing out here?"

"I'm looking for you.....and for Spike, I'm sorry....but I have to find him...before you do."

"I don't understand....I try Buffy, but I still don't. How can you love him?"

"I just do. You don't know everything, you don't know his heart....or his soul."

"He doesn't have a soul."

"Yes he does....he bargained his life with a demon, I don't know everything, but Spike won and was rewarded with his soul."

"This is just like Angel...he has a soul now, so all's forgiven now?"

"It's not that simple for me, you know me better than that. Spike and I have been pushing and pulling with each other for five years now, we didn't want this, we fought it every step of the way....but it's real, it might not be pretty, but it's real...I love him!"

"I can't accept it, Buffy....I just can't."

"Then, I'm sorry Xander....I can't be without Spike."

"You know what this means then right?"

"You're really going to walk out of my life? I love you Xander."

"And I love you too Buffy...but..." Suddenly a shrilling scream pierced through everything, electrifying the night. It was followed shortly after by a feral gurgling snarl. Buffy sensed where the danger was coming from and grabbed Xander's arm.

"This way...." Running down an embankment, Buffy and Xander came upon a pair of young teenagers trying to fight against a trio of black amphibious creatures at the riverside. They looked something like fish, but more like lizards, with tails and ridges down their backs like dragons. Xander picked up a hefty tree branch that had come down in the storm and joined Buffy in warding off the demons. As soon as attention was diverted from them, the young victims made their escape.

Buffy engaged the monsters with her classic barrage of kicks and punches. Meanwhile Xander cracked the makeshift club over the back of one monster's head. The thing of course became enraged and lunged for him. Buffy caught the exchange and went to help her friend. At the same time the demons seemed to have been called away from their fight and the two Buffy had been battling dove into the rive. The last demon abandoned Xander and went to follow the others. Before Buffy knew what was happening the demon had barelled over her and taken her into the river with him. As the creatures swam away with the current Buffy fought against it.

She hadn't realized that the once quiet stream at the graveyard's edge had been steadily rising as the rain fell incessantly. Now it was overflowing and perilously deep, it's current too strong for even the Slayer."BUFFY!!!" Xander screamed against the black of the night. He could barely make out where the shore was, let along find her.

"Xander, help!" she cried as she struggled to reach the water's edge. She continued to cry out and he followed the barely audible sound against the roar of the river until he could make out her shape within the rapids. He tried to wade out into the water, but was nearly swept away himself. His next idea was to retrieve the branch and use it to extend his reach.

"Buffy! Try and grab hold!" He stretched out as far as he possibly could, the muscles of his arm taut and burning from the strain.

"I can't reach!"

"Come on Buffy.....you can do it!" She got her second wing and started swimming with more purposeful strides. A few times the tips of her fingers touched the offshoots of the branch, but still she couldn't get a grip.

"Xander, please!!" She was panicking now, her own incredible strength was no match against the river's torrents and she was beyond exhausted. Making one last effort she lunged for the branch. She caught only air and then disappeared under the water.

Chapter 17

"Oh god no.......BUFFY?!!!?" Xander started to run, falling repeatedly on the muddy and unstable earth. All he could hear was the rushing of the river, the pouring rain and now thunder in the distance. He was already tiring from trying to keep pace with the river, but he wouldn't stop until he knew Buffy's fate. Suddenly he sensed someone running along side him and then they were running straight past him. He would have thought it was another of the demons if the lightning on the horizon hadn't illuminated the platinum hair

Diving into the frigid waters, Spike formed his body into a torpedo, catching up to Buffy in mere seconds as she struggled underwater against the river's flow. He jetted past her and then turned around and began to swim against the current. They collided and it shocked Buffy back to her senses. Spike had his arm around her waist and already was making for shore. Together they managed to fight the pull until Spike could find his footing. At that point he picked Buffy up out of the water and carried her in his arms. Placing her on a rock on the bank, he knelt in front of her, keeping her steady with his hands at her hips. Her savior checked her over for any signs of injury, but all things considered, the Slayer seemed undamaged. She was however heaving for breath and having a difficult time calming herself down. Eventually she could lock eyes with Spike and focused on him.

"You're alright, love, it's over," he spoke with a soothing tone,"Are you hurt? Did you swallow any of the river?" She shook her head just before she reached out and pulled him against her, holding him for all he was worth. Spike hugged her trembling body, totally and utterly relieved she hadn't drowned. He hadn't known why he'd been compelled to come to this obscure part of the cemetery in this dreadful weather, but he did now. After so long he knew with his body when Buffy was near, even when his mind didn't - however this time was different. He soul had never burned so hot in his body before until he'd heard her voice somewhere inside his head pleading for him to come to her. Even now as he held her the connection between them was like pure energy.

"BUFFY!!" Xander yelled as he finally caught up,"Are you okay?!" The spell was broken and Spike sighed against her neck, he stood up and took a step back from her.

"She's fine," Spike informed as he redundantly wiped the water off his face.

"Let's get you home then." Buffy agreed and got to her feet, reaching behind her for Spike to help balance her. Before the vampire clued in, Xander was already pulling her away.

"Hey! Steady on Harris, she's just been in the bloody river! Giver 'er half a second to recover you git! You think you need to get her outta my evil clutches for fast? I just saved her life!"

"Saved it so you can go back to stalking it is what you mean! I'm not gonna give you another chance to hurt her!"

"Hurt her? I love her...and the Slayer can take care of herself, always could."

"Look, you bastard, this should have ended when you left town. You do nothing but destroy lives......first Anya...."

"That's what this is about, should've bloody know...You threw here away, you didn't care that she still loved you after that, because it was all about YOU, Harris. We were drunk, we we're hurt and we were angry, it was past the point where you had a right to care! She and I may be the demons, but you humans pile more hurt on us then fangs or wish ever could. Grow the bloody hell up, stop being the whelp and be a man. That girl has moved on to someone else...she and Giles are pretty damn happy...."

"Giles?" Buffy gasped, suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle falling in place; but as usually the obvious went straight over Xander's head.

"Be a man? What kind of man are you? When the girl tells him it's over he stalks her and when she doesn't give in, he forces himself on her? Is that the kind of man I should be?" Xander said, twisting the dagger of guilt in Spike one more time; that was the vampire's Achilles heal. Even through the pouring rain and night sky Buffy watched Spike's body language darken and invert in on itself. He stood very still for a moment, his eyes closed, his emotions caving in on themselves. He looked up and Buffy knew instinctively that he was crying, he cried so easily now, or at least this was the first time she'd taken the care to notice.

"Maybe we all would've been better off if you'd staked me the night outside the shop...I can't take back anything that I've done. If I could maybe I wouldn't even have come to this bloody place, but I can't. I'm sorry.......sorry about everything..."

"Too little too late. You're nothing but a....."

"ENOUGH!!!" Buffy suddenly shouted,"Xander lay off! I never stopped you from hitting him....but I can stop you from putting him down like this. If you ever want to have anything to do with me and Dawn you have back off Spike...ignore him if it makes it easier, but don't hurt him, it hurts me too much and I can't have that anymore."

"Buffy...." Xander knew that everything had just come to head between him and his friend, he didn't gave time to weigh the options, he'd have to go with instinct this time.

"Make a choice, Xander." She took his look of resignation as answer,"Please go to my house and tell Dawn we'll be home soon, okay? Wait with her?" He nodded.

"What are you gonna...." His words lost momentum as Buffy whipped around and grabbed Spike by his belt, yanked him to her and crushed their lips together. She held him tighter than ever before, willing her love into him over the lock of their lips. He almost resisted, the sting of Xander's words still holding him, but soon her warmth and her tenderness overcame it and he returned the embrace. For a brief while he'd let himself pretend that they had a chance.

Chapter 18

He rushed ahead to open the car door for her, just in time as a matter of fact as she dove straight into the back seat. He got in after her and slammed the door shut, maneuvering in behind the stearing wheel and putting the key in the ignition."Spike, wait..." she spoke up,"Come into the back..."

"Buffy...."

"Don't argue with me, please come back here with me."

"Fine, pet, but if the car starts floating away, it'll be your fault." He sort of fell over the front seat into the back, half landing on the seat next to Buffy, and part on the floor."Sorry, m' a bit awkward sometimes. Kinda hard to be stealthy when one's clothes are all wet. Least I had the good sense to leave m'coat in the car." Buffy laughed and pushed her hair off her face, wringing it out and letting the water drip on to the floor as Spike gathered himself up on to the seat with her. She sighed and slumped into the seat, looking out the windshield at the rain dropping in buckets while lightened flashed in the distance and thunder rumbled in the deep places. They were closed off in their own little world, the black interior of the car giving the semblance of a cave. The rain made a hard symphony on the roof, beating the metal like a drum in some ancient rite. They could see each other only in silouttes, a slight sheen of water illuminated their features when the light flashed."Buffy? What it is, pet?" He reached out in the darkness and took her hand, it was cold to the touch,"We should get you home, can't have you catchin' your death of cold here. Being in that river could give you pneumonia."

"I hear that being held helps." She moved in closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and laying her head to his chest.

"You're all wet, love...river n' rain's soaked you through."

"You too. I wonder if we're the only two people in the world?"

"Certainly the only two dumb enough to still be out in the rain, pet."

"There's no one for miles and miles, no one to interrupt us." Before he had a chance to voice any opinion on the matter she'd moved over to him. Her breasts were pressed to his face, the hard peebles to her nipples against his neck while her hands cradled his head to them. She pressed a kiss to his forhead and moved over until she was straddling him. Compared to the coldness her dip in the river had brought to her, his lips on the skin of her chest were warm. All of a sudden he stopped, eyes shut tight, a dull cry rumbling deep in his throat. He moved her off him and receded into the corner."Spike? What's wrong?"

"I can't.....I'm sorry." She let him keep the comfort of only two feet between them and watched in confusion as his palms rubbed at his face and he was perceivably trembling.

"Tell, me what's wrong....I thought you'd want us to be together."

"I do, Buffy, so much, maybe too much. But this isn't taking things slow like you wanted, I...I can't be taking advantage."

"Spike, you won't be...I've missed you."

"How can you possibly want to be with me again? I don't understand it. For 147 days last summer I held you beautiful in my heart and mind, I kept seeing images of us laughing, 'cause we did sometimes, you know. That one kiss you let us have after Glory'd pounded the tar outta me...and that last night with you atop the stairs. This summer, for another 147 days I heard screams of pain and fright, a hurt and a scared girl under me while I ignored her pleas and I hurt her....you're breathtaking and wonderful and I love you...but I can't get your crying out of my mind, can't move bruises on your skin and looks of digust out from in front of my eyes. I want you Buffy more than I have a right to, but I don't think I can....you understand? Kissing and havin' fun on your couch was one thing, I knew it wasn't going any further....but now...how can make love to you? I'm just gonna remember again, every night...every night I see the monster trying to violate you....and it's me!" He looked away from her and his silouette against the window broke her heart, he felt so alone and so unworthy. She thought they'd come to an understanding, a place where all was forgiven and they could go forward, but obviously the the roots of Spike's guilt ran even deeper than she'd thought.

She unbuttoned her blouse slowly, peeling the wet garment from her skin and laying it over the front seat. Next she took off her bra and put it with her shirt. She secured her wet hair behind her shoulder before moving next to him. Her fingers curled around one had and then drew it against her chest, placing his palm over a breast and holding it in place. His hand was cold and refused to move or caress."Spike, look at me." He continued to stare out at the rain, but he seemed to grow even more introverted as if trying to will himself out of his body so he wouldn't be forced to deal with the situation. With her other hand she reached over and grasped his chin, making him look at her."Spike, you have to try and let it go. I'm not scared right now, I'm not upset, I'm not crying....I want you to touch me, I want you to love like I know you want to, with tenderness, and sweetness, like I'm precious to you. I know you can, you have before, you don't have to be afraid."

"But I am, love....you might have forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself." She let his hand go and it fell into her lap, and he looked away again. She moved to him again, pressing their torsos together and wrapping her hands around his neck, cradling his head against her shoulder. His arms moved around her waist and he hugged her back. Buffy felt the coolness of his fresh tears running down her arm and she squeezed him tighter."I'm sorry."

"I know, William. We'll be okay, you'll see."

"Buffy?" he urged after a time, when he was calm and himself again.

"Mmm hmmm?"

"I think the river's rising, a trout just buzzed by the window." The soft peel of her laughter that rolled out from her was practically musical.

"I guess we should be getting back, huh?"

"I'm sure the bloody search party's already been assembled, complete with requisite stakes, crossbows, pencils and anything else the whelp can use to kill me."

"He'll have to come through me, there will be no wood of any kind of coming near my vampire! Well, except one kind..."

"Count on it....when the time's right."

***

"How long can it possibly keep raining!?" Buffy asked rhetorically. Spike pulled the DeSoto into the driveway of the Revello Drive home and sighed, looking out at he water coming down, the look on his face echoing Buffy's displeasure.

"I was in the Highlands once, rained for 14 straight, though not as hard as this. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was the bloody second coming!"

"Quiet! Don't tempt fate...it's not another apocalypse!" He got out of the car and came around to her side, holding his duster over his head to shield them from the storm. They ran for the front door and slammed it behind them, the action was becoming the norm for entering the Summers home. Spike brushed the excess water from the coat's leather before hanging it up as Buffy wringing the water from her hair yet again.

"Dawn?" Buffy called,"We're home!"

"Right here," Dawn answered to Buffy's left. The Slayer and vampire turned to see not only Dawn in the living room, but also Giles, Anya, and even Xander and Willow.

"Hey, what's going on?" Buffy gave Spike a confused, apprehensive look as he stood at her side. Giles looked up from his cup of tea, classically pessimistic.

"Apocalypse," he answered.

Chapter 19

Buffy slapped Spike across his stomach,"I told you not to say it!"

"Yeah, like I have the power."

"It was a jinx! You said it!"

"If you two would kindly stop bickering, there is a more pressing matter at hand....end of the world!" Giles stated, Anya taking his hand in her's to offer encouragement and Xander looking away from it."Sit down and I'll explain." They complied, sitting together on the couch next to Dawn as well as Willow to whom Spike acknowledged with a nod. The red headed witch gave him a slight smile, knowing full well that a change had come over Buffy now that he had returned."Now perhaps you've all noticed something unusual about the rain?"

"Yeah, like it won't bloody stop!" Spike interjected.

"Besides that, it's salt water that's falling from the sky, not fresh which is the norm of course."

"That explains it!" Buffy blurted out,"Spike, you tasted salty." The vampire raised an eyebrow and the Slayer then noticed the looks she was getting from the others,"When I kissed him...on the lips....geez, climb outta the gutter!"

"Right, as I was saying....the vegetation has begun to suffer, wildlife also."

"Oh! And froggy fish monsters!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Earlier, Xander and I saved a couple of girls from these amphibious things. Might have been the Sunnydale swim team, hard to say, I was drowning at the time."

"Again?"

"I'm trying to break the habit, honest."

"I made the comment to Anya that at the rate the water was falling it would be a wonder if California didn't get swallowed up like Atlantis."

"And then I told him what actually happened to Atlantis," Anya continued,"I used to date Poseidon, Greek God of the Ocean, and he loved to tell stories....long long time ago he was called by Zeus to unleash the Kraken to destroy Atlantis. After it was done the big guy was imprisoned, Zeus had Freudian issues with anyone bigger than him. But it all started with rain just like this."

"Therefore I deduced that this might be occurring here in Sunnydale."

"So a bunch a ancient Greek Gods are trying to kill us?" Buffy asked,"Man....so what if I can't make a decent souvlaki, I try..."

"It's not Zeus or Poseidon, they've retired to Mount Olympus with all the others," Anya provided.

"I'm afraid it's far more serious, grave," Giles picked up,"I consulted a number of books and records in both City Hall and the Centennial Museum, and I ran across a bit of a summation of previous Hell Mouth activities related to water. Very nonspecific, but gave a few clues - salt water rain, amphibious demons, fresh water becoming salted, sea creatures invading the land, so on and so forth....it was all in preparation for the Kraken to escaped from a second Hell Mouth...somehow the crisis was averted and the fissure was sealed, a lake arose over it apparently."

"A Kraken?" Spike scoffed,"A bloody Kraken? Don't suppose you've got a Gorgon's head laying around the magic shop?"

"'Fraid not."

"Hey I know this one! Clash of the Titans, right?! With that dude from LA Law!" Xander interrupted needlessly.

"Try Perseus and Andromeda, you nit, did you learn nothing in school besides how to be a loser?" Spike huffed.

"Yeah, well what the American Education System failed to teach me I learned form pulp culture!"

"If we could return our focus to the impending destruction of all we hold dear," Giles persisted,"Spike you're not too far off the mark...I believe the myth's way to be our best option, the only sure way to defeat a Kraken will likely be to turn it to stone with the eyes of the Gorgon."

"Can't we just fight it?" Buffy asked,"We took on the Mayor and he was as big as the school."

"The Kraken's the size of the Empire States building," Anya supplied casually.

"Oh."

"Where pray tell us Watcher where are we going to find ourselves a Gorgon?" Spike inquired with a bit a acid on his tongue, the incredibility of the situation irking him.

"Oh, the usual place, Isle of the Dead, one the edge of Hades, Aegean Sea. Easy to get to via portals...Anya can open one, or I could with the same method I did when I first came back."

"Of course the Gorgon's not going to just give us her head."

"'Course not. Spike, you'll have to use some of the things you learned with Sarlaak, fighting a Gorgon is a monumental battle, perilous. But, old man, I dare say I believe if anyone can do it, it's you."

"Thanks mate, went ought I to start?"

"WOAH! Time out!" Buffy suddenly spoke up,"No one's sending my boyfriend off on some perilous quest! Nuh-uh, no way, no how."

"Buffy, love, I'm the only one that stands a chance - you remember the old myths? Medusa, snake bottome half, woman up top, snakes in her hair, turn anything living to stone with one look in her eye....I'm dead...." Spike reasoned.

"But you have your soul now...."

"True...but, I don't think...."

"You're not sure...that's what you're saying? I just got you back..." Maybe it was just pre-Apocalypse stress getting to her, but she was all of a sudden crying.

"My poor girl." He caressed her face and she leaned into the palm of his hand, the looks between them sweeter than a summer peach. Xander had to look away, Willow patting his knee and giving him a sympathetic look. Giles, Anya and Dawn all simply smiled at each other.

"I'm coming with you...don't even try to argue." In .06 seconds she'd gone from jellyfish to electric eel, the look on her face would turn the Kraken to stone all by itself, Gorgon head no longer needed.

"Fine, but I'm blindfolding you....don't fancy a statue for a girlfriend. On the other hand you'd go with the crypt's decor."

Chapter 20

In preparation for their travelling to an obscure island in the middle of the Aegean Sea, Spike and Buffy each indulged in a hearty meal. Giles having brought fresh blood with him for Spike and Buffy loading herself full of carbs in the form of a massive amount of spaghetti. Each changed clothes into something a little more appropriate for battling gorgons. That of course meant that Spike had to venture outside again in order to retrieve clothes from the trunk of the car, mumbling something to himself about never thinking he'd ever miss the sunshine. Once they were ready, Giles passed Spike an ax and Buffy a sword from her weapons chest, the necessities for killing a gorgon. He also provided them with a black leather sack for keeping the head in once it had been cut off the creature's shoulders.

Giles chanted a few words, conducted a little ethereal energy, then after a few seconds the air began to spark and a rift was torn through space and time right there in the Summers' living room.

"Slight problem, Rupes," Spike commented as everyone stared in wonderment through the portal.

"Shouldn't be...just step on through like you would a door," Giles replied.

"Oh absolutely....into broad bloody daylight!!"

"Right...um....well, Greece is 10 hours ahead of us....it's just a little after dawn. Oh.....oh look, off there to the left, at the end of the beach, looks like a cave, you can run to it quick enough, blanket over you."

"Gee, thanks." Buffy was at Spike's side, handing him the length of fabric he'd been carrying around for as long as she could remember.

"Here, take this, it's not the actual pendant, but the chant's on the back for when you want to return," Anya instructed as she clasped the ornament around Buffy's neck. The Slayer took hold of the vampire's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Spike," Giles spoke again. The vampire turned to him and plucked the coin from the air the other man tossed him. Spike gave a wink and a nod, understanding the importance of the gesture.

"Ready Randy?" she asked with a sly smile.

"Ready Joan." With that they took a head start and ran to the other side. The rift sealed and the residence was returned to normal.

"That's so unfair," Dawn complained,"We're stuck in SunnyHell with the yucky rain and impending apocalypse and they get to go to a nice sunny beach in Greece!"

"I'm sure we're all in envy, but there's important work to be done here. Willow and Xander, you'll be working together, I'll be with Anya - we need to find the location of this second Hellmouth before it's time for Spike and Buffy to return...Dawn....you'll..."

"I know, I know...stay inside, lock the doors....." Dawn groaned.

"No, I'll take you to the Magic Box, there's several volumes relating to aquarian demons, water related apocalyptica and so forth. I'm relying on you to accumulate as much information as you possibly can on the Kraken, his minions and anything else that we might be coming up against." Dawn have a sort of 'eep' sound of surprise, pride and confidence swelling inside her.

"I won't let you down....if Buffy can be the Slayer at 16, I can handle the research!"

***

Spike was a good ten strides ahead of Buffy, due to the instinct of self preservation as well as the fact that she now carried both the sword and the ax The Grecian morning sun was hot and glorious, but Spike's eyes were on the nearing refuge of the cave. He had begun to smoke, his skin was smoldering, any second now he'd start to burn. The soft sand made it impossible to run at his top speed and if he tripped he'd be toast, well, ash actually. The cave mouth wasn't too large, only as wide and tall as a door, but it would do just fine with the sun as his other option. Darting around the gathering of rocks and the shoreline that crept in close to the opening, Spike trudged through ankle deep water until he finally ducked into the cave.

He breathed a sigh of relief and began patting down the hot spots, ever thankful for his beloved duster. Nothing beat leather for keeping death off when the sunshine was chasing you. Moments later Buffy followed him, dropping the weapons on a patch of dry sand and coming into the deeper part of the cavern where Spike was."Oh! Are you okay?" she asked, concerned for his well being, joining him in puffing out the smoke atop his head of blond curls,"You think Giles could've just opened his portal right here!"

"S'alright, love, no harm done...not even sizzlin'."

"Still...having a combustible boyfriend, so not good for the nerves." He raised an eyebrow in slight intrigue, eyeing her closely. She smiled at him, not quite comprehending the reason for his scrutiny,"What? Spike?"

"That's the second time you've called me your boyfriend, love." Her smiled broadened and she laughed softly.

"It's true isn't it?"

"If you say so....I'm just grateful....well, for anything I get from you." He sat himself awkwardly on a boulder, looking out at the new day. Buffy looked past him and wondered how deep the cavern was, little light let her see anything besides more sand and stone. The chamber they were in had a fairly tall ceiling, stalactites that were rounded and short, and an expanse that was probably no larger than her house. Still it was a nice enough place to spend the day together. She sat herself a little higher up and more securely on the same rock as Spike, leaning her back against his.

"And I'm just grateful you came back...if things had stayed unresolved like they were I think I would've had this sad emptiness inside for the rest of my life. We've come full circle....finally. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, pet, anything at all."

"How did...how does.....how do you know...the soul?"

"You mean what's it like to go from having no soul, to suddenly having it back? Bloody strange....it's like...mmm....say it's like a glass of vodka, half full, then someone pours in the juice and little tropical umbrella and suddenly you have a cocktail. Sometimes the straight vodka's alright, for some....but you've always struck me as the kind of girl that rather a cocktail."

"That's....okay....the weirdest analogy I've ever heard, but, I get it. Sometimes I liked the vodka, but, you're right, I wanted a cocktail."

"It's been hard to adjust, it's hard to accept. I am a very different man, deep inside. I never bothered to think about people outside my sphere, which was you, the bit, and the Scoobies; now I see them and wonder. Wonder what they'd think of me....I don't know why I care. I care, that's bloody strange. I don't even want to kill 'em. When I want blood, they're not really food anymore. I don't even really want to kill Xander....beat him up, sure, but not kill. Having a soul doesn't make a person good or evil, I realized that most of all, but it does give you a conscience.....I never knew I didn't have one until it started speaking to me. It tells me that I could never hurt an innocent, tells me that I save them before I save myself, it tells me that I'd never violate a woman like I tried to with you.....and it tells me that I needed you to forgive me so that I could feel peace."

"I have, don't forget that....have you found peace?"

"Almost."

Chapter 21

"What's left that you need?" Buffy continued to prod, turning around behind him to slide down against his back. Her legs hung off the side of the rock on either side of his hips, her holding securely to his arms and her chin on his shoulder, voice in his ear."Hmmm?"

"Doesn't matter, love, I've already been given more than my fair share, I'm pretty much the happiest I've ever been right now. Nice spot, innit?"

"No rain, beautiful beach, even more beautiful ocean. The sun's probably really hot and the water cold.....and it's Greece! I've never even been out of California, you know that?"

"Why don't you go on out then, take dip...have yourself a frolic in the surf? I can watch you from here and there's no one around, the island is deserted....being on the edge of Hades n' all....and beasties don't come out in the day I should think."

"Nah....it's okay."

"Buffy, sweet pet, go have yourself some fun in the sun and don't mind the vampire, he's not brooding...he'd like to see you shining in the water."

"You sure?"

"Quite sure...." She gave a squeal of delight and kissed his cheek before leaping off the rock and starting to strip her clothes off,"What are you doing?"

"I'm not swimming in my clothes silly."

"No....'course not.....I just......um....." His words fell away as soon as he saw her in her underwear, a keen desire stirring in the pit of his stomach. Then he was undone when she popped off her bra and shimmied out of her panties, leaving her clothes in a pile on the sand with her shoes and running gaily out into the ocean. She skipped through the tide pools as innocently and joyously as a toddler before hitting a deep spot and diving under. Spike came to the threshold of the entrance and waited for her to resurface. When she did he calmed and took pleasure in watching her have fun, she really was an entirely different Buffy Summers. This girl was free and unencumbered, this girl had gone through a gauntlet of darkness and come out into the light...where he knew he couldn't follow. That was something he could live with because, as she did an hour later, come back into the darkness to be with him. Buffy traipsed back into the cave smiling as brightly as the sun on the waves, naked body shimmering as if covered with diamonds instead of beads of water. Spike shirked out of his duster and brought it around her shoulders, wrapping it around her to obscure her nudity.

"Have a nice time, love?" he asked, stepping back from her and making his way to the rock he'd sat on originally.

"The best! It almost makes this whole gorgon decapitating thing okay. I could've stayed out there all day."

"Then you should, you deserve it, we've still got hours to go before sunset."

"And you'll just stand in the shadows and watch me, all forlorn and tragic?" She moved over to him and stood between his legs, leaning against the rock face. He reached out and curled wet strands of her hair behind her ears, mesmerized by her angelic face and the bronze of her skin with the tan she'd acquired during her swim.

"I could watch you forever....god, you're so beautiful, so fine."

"You're a handsome man yourself." Buffy let the duster slip off her shoulders, exposing her bare breasts, with their nipples, and the areola crinkled from both the cool air of the cave on her skin and her emerging arousal. He brushed the backs of his fingers across them, sucking in a breath and closing his eyes,"Don't stop." It seemed her words were a wake up call and he did just what she asked him not to. He made a fist and recoiled, with that action she let the heavy leather coat fall straight to the ground."What are you afraid of?"

"Myself, pet....I don't know what to do with you...I'm afraid of frightening you again....of hurting you."

"You wouldn't do that, not again, I trust you...you believe that, don't you?"

"I'm trying...."

"Try again...touch me." She helped him on by taking his fist and pulling the fingers apart and then drawing the hand down to the patch of soft curls between her legs. Moving her legs apart, she pulled his hand lower until she could hold it between the apex. He cupped pure heat, her desire for him manifesting itself in silky moisture. He stroked a finger along the slit, the heady scent of the woman assaulting his nostrils and making his head swim."Spike..."

"Tell me you want me..."

"I do...." His hand moved away and he grasped her hips, moving himself away from the rock and picking up his coat. He laid it over the stone surface and lifted her up, then encouraged her to lay back. He stepped in front of her and lay his face down against the flat of her stomach, his hands back on her hips. He let himself linger there for a long while, making himself breathe steadily, in and out, just savoring her skin in every tangible way. Her fingers ran through his hair and caressed his cheek. After a time he began to speckle her torso with chaste little kisses, moving ever so slowly downwards. She eagerly parted her thighs, finding nooks in the boulder to rest her heals in.

He was being remarkably gentle, she remembered with fondness other times like this, but now she felt reverence for their pleasing of each other. This time was sanctifying, and this time she loved him. He nuzzled into the warm gathering of curls, breathing against them and making them flutter like a field of wildflowers in a breeze. She gasped when the coolness came in contact with the wetness that trickled out from between the swollen lips of her sex. Spike pressed his mouth to her, eliciting a moan from her. His tongue darted out to gathering of the stream of her fluids, making her shiver. Every action had its reaction.

No fingers, no hands, just tongue, he pushed inside, moving in deep, then coming out and gliding to her clitoris. He curled and pressed against the sensitive nubbin until he felt it actually pulse, the epicenter for her pleasure. By now Buffy had begun to gasp and moan, gripping hard to the leather of his coat. Spike plunged back into her channel, thrusting and twisting as he supped on her juices. He became increasingly aggressive, giving her a hard, wet French kiss that sent her into a spiral of ecstasy. Her legs started to shake violently and her heels beat against the rock surface, but Spike was unrelenting, intent on giving her the defining orgasm of her life.

Her inner muscles started to quiver in precursor to the climax and at the point, Spike clamped his over the entire area and sucked hard. She screamed loud enough for it to echo throughout the the entire cave. Her orgasm and the pulsing of her body rolled on and on for staggering lengths of time. It took a long time for Buffy to recover, only when she went limp and splayed out over the rock did Spike release her. He trailed languid kisses over her hip bone, across her ribs, lingering on a plump breast and eventually resting against her collar bone.

"I do alright by you love?"

"Phenomenal! Oh god, I don't think it's ever been that good....you're a talented man, no doubt about it....oh wow....wow..."

"It was an honor, my sweet." She slipped away from him, taking to her feet, but she came back around and pushed him back instead. She admired the substantial bulge of his restrained erection before dropping to her knees in front of him. He caught her hands as they reached for his belt buckle, shaking his head,"No."

"But Spike...."

"No, you don't have to....I won't make you....I mean, I don't expect you to.....just.....I'll keep my edge for the fight..." She stood up and faced him, hands placed defiantly on her hips.

"Is this the soul talking?"

"Huh? What? No.....no, love..."

"Spike, since when do you not want me to?" He gave her a sad, meek little look that spoke volumes."Oh." She rested her hands on his shoulders."Baby, we're okay, I promise...and I want to, you remember I used to love it, pretty sure I still do. Remember? Hey that's cheating!?" He brightened at the memory, one of the least angst ridden times they'd ever been together, and considering all that had occurred that day, it wasn't saying much, maybe this time would be nicer. She leaned in and gave him a firm kiss,"Hold on, lover....expect fireworks...."

Chapter 22

Buffy tucked him back into his pants, hands still caressing and massaging the length of his now soft member. She zipped up the jeans and fastened the buckle of his belt with a smile telling of a certain amount of self-satisfaction. They'd successfully overcome one hurdle in their new relationship. Being intimate with him was something she'd been dreaming about all summer and now it was finally a reality, save for actually making love. She'd save that for when there was a bed. Spike, coming back to his senses, cupped her face in his hands and drew her lips to his for a scorching kiss. Their mouth tasted of each other, both remembering the first few weeks of their previous liaison, when she'd tried everything she never felt she could before, especially with Riley.

"There, now that wasn't so bad was it? I think I'm over the taking it slow idea...it was a dumb one anyways." She asked with an amused tone. He pressed their foreheads together and kneaded the muscles at the back of her neck.

"Bloody amazing," he whispered in reply as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her close,"I love you, Buffy...I love you with all my heart and soul."

"I love you too." He abruptly pulled her back, staring into her tawny colored eyes in shock and disbelief.

"Buffy?" She smiled again at him, absolutely enamored with his look of utter awe.

"I love you, Spike."

"You love me?"

"I love you, I do, absolutely, I've been waiting for the right time to tell and you know how impatient I am."

"You asked me what I needed to find peace - that was it. To know the woman I love loves me too...I've been waiting for this m'whole bloody unlife!"

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long, I couldn't tell you before you left...I don't know if I loved you that night when you begged me to admit it."

"I shot it all to hell....I thought I'd destroyed everything."

"If I hadn't stopped you....if you'd succeeded in...."

"Please don't say it....I can't bear to hear the word again."

"We wouldn't have been able to come back from that."

"I would've let you kill me.....or begged you to it....or done it myself."

"But things happened differently and now we're here on an island in Greece and we've just given each other wonderful orgasms and said our I loves yous."

"May I hold you? You've never let me hold you before. The sun'll set eventually, we can watch it together."

"You can hold me forever, just promise not to let go?"

"I'm never letting you go again." Buffy dressed herself and lay the blanket down for them. Spike shrugged into his coat and sat down with his back against the boulder. Buffy eased down in between his legs and settled herself against him. Arms encircling and locking around her waist, Spike rested his cheek against her's and relaxed completely for the first time he could ever remember."Tell me again, pet."

"I love you."

***

As dusk settled over the Mediterranean, their interlude came to an end. Reluctantly and with a pouty grumble from Buffy, Spike released her from his arms and made them get to their feet. He retrieved the weapons that they'd abandoned all day and he handed her sword to her."This sucks," Buffy complained with a serious frown. Spike closed in and nuzzled her neck and kissed the spot behind her ear.

"It's got to be done, love, be grateful for the day we've had, best I've had in 54021, give or take."

"That's how many days you've lived?" He nodded and leaned back in to kiss her temple.

"And I plan on spending all the rest of them with you, love."

"I haven't told you in a couple of hours, I love you."

"I love you, my beautiful Slayer. I can never say it enough...can never let you forget."

"I'm not gonna forget...it's been how many years? I'm branded and thoroughly Spikefied, claimed and totally with the mutuals. Isn't it great?!! We love each other, everything else is pie."

"Like decapitating gorgons."

"There yah go....pie....probably not very good pie though."

"Agreed....so then...shall we?" Like a gentleman he offered her his arm and she accepted. They gave a fond look over their shoulders at their cave and walked out under the glimmer of star light.

"I love you, Spike."

"I know....I love you too."

"I really really love you."

"And I really really love you too, pet."

"We've gonna be together forever."

"Ever and ever.....absolutely."

"I love you."

"We still have to do this, sweetheart, and let's not forget that you are the one who insisted on coming along."

"Phooey."

"I love you too, Buffy."