Part 17:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike bounced the ball concentrating only the hollow sound of it hitting the court. It was night, odd animal creaking and a distant whistle accompanied the vampire as he mulled.

Brian smiled and stood slightly awkwardly at the edge of the court.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~

--Let it go; If you want me girl let me know--

 

“Are you sure you have to go Miss Summers?”

Buffy smiled and hugged Verity. “I’m afraid so honey. Its’ ok, you’ll see me in a couple of weeks.”

“But who’s going to direct the show?”

“Hey now, I’ve taught you guys all the smooth moves,” Buffy tickled the girl’s ribs and after a few moments continued, tickle moment over, “Ms Dudley will take over now.”

“But she’s too bossy!”

“She’ll be great.”

After a few more words with those still awake, Buffy told Brian to go ahead to the car while she talked to Liz. The dark-haired girl refused to look up, her tears not only for her father, but for her mother, for Buffy, for herself.

“Hey, come on.”

“You’re going.”

“Liz…” Buffy stopped and bent down, turning Liz to face her. “I have to go.”

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

There was silence and Buffy feared that perhaps Liz had known more that anyone had suspected. Perhaps for that reason, the little girl would not forgive.

Suddenly Buffy was engulfed in a tight hug. Biting her lip against the tears, the ex-slayer smiled and hugged back. “We’ll see each other soon. I promise.”

Pulling back, the blond smiled and stood up. Liz ran, catching up with the other kids. Taking one last glance at the camp, she turned to walk to the car.

“Oiy, Slayer. Where you going?”

Closing her eyes, she froze. No, it couldn’t be him. He wasn’t supposed to know.

But that voice, that tone, that smirk that peppered his words. That depth and sincerity that shone through once she finally accepted it. The loyalty and passion and -

“Planning on sneaking away again? You should have learnt your lesson. I always find out. Granted, wasn’t Red that tipped me off this time, but…”

Bitterness.

“Don’t do this Spike.” she warned. Buffy could see Brian’s car, dark but still the outline beckoned to her even as she turned to face him.

Those eyes. They came closer and closer and invaded any personal space rule that would ever exist. His arms folded her into a hug. “Congratulations.”

So this was the route he was going for. No ‘I love you Buffy’. Just-

“He’s a great guy. What you’ve always wanted. White picket fence an all that.”

“Yeah.”

“Here.”

She looked down for the first time at his hands. There, resting gently in his palm was a silver chain with a delicately carved heart pendant.

--++++---flashback---+++---

Walking towards Sara, Buffy pulled out a box.

“I’ll be missing the wedding, so I figured I should give you something now. It’s not anything…but it’s yours. Look after it.”

Sara smiled, and then frowned slightly. There was something, not quite right about the Slayer. And then. She knew. Buffy was in love with Spike.

--++++---flashback---+++---

“You gave this to Sara when she was starting a new life, so I guess it’s only appropriate that I give it to you when you’re starting this whole new life.”

“Thanks.”

“I know you and Spike will be very happy together.”

Buffy’s lower lip trembled and she started backing away. “Brian.” She gulped out.

“Brian.”

Spike flinched and in that second she was gone.  The car door clicked and the engine purred away, leaving the vampire at a loss for words.

-- In the corner of my mind
Baby it feels like we're running out of time--

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Giles sighed.

“Why can’t they all arrive on one bloody plane?”

“Because they’re coming from different places in the world, Watcher.”

Giles smiled. The moments with Spike and Liz were bittersweet, guilt and regret clouding over every time he realised how much time had gone by.

“Very well Spike, I’ve got a pen.”

“Angel, Cordelia and newly adopted baby that they have decided to torture-”

“Spike.”

“The kid’s niece is older than him!”

“Yes, but you should support Angel and Cordelia’s decision to have another child.”

“I do not bloody count as a childe.”

“Well, Cordelia was bound to you on her mating with Angel.”

“Thank you for pointing it out book-lover.”

“Lets continue.”

“Alright, alright. Those three will be showing up on the 19th and they’ll be going straight to the building I’ve hired for us all.”

“That’s only three days before the wedding!”

“I know but my new baby brother has a doctor’s thing or something like that. New parents – paranoid and all that.”

“Have you seen Connor?”

“Yeah, Liz and I flew over for a few days last week. Energetic tyke that one.”

“Just like his older brother.”

“Older by nearly 200 years.”

“Spike, remain on topic.”

“Oh, right. Red’s coming with me and Liz and Peter.”

“You’re coming?” Giles’ voice was soft. Spike had been debating on attending the wedding for the last two weeks.

“Liz. She really wants to go.”

For a moment there was a pause that Spike broke.

“Well, we’ll arrive on the 22nd. Our flight lands an hour or so before the ceremony so we will be just on time. It’s at your house, right?”

“Yes, outside.”

“Well, we can change real quick inside.”

“Of course – but is there not an earlier flight?”

“There are a few but I have a meeting that morning about the galleries. I really can’t miss it. We don’t have them often, only about three times a year but this was the scheduled date and I’d piss off about 50 people – and that’s only directly -if I cancelled.”

Giles’ voice cracked horribly on the last two names especially. The old man’s heart broke to think that he had missed so much in the lives of those he loved. The ex-watcher’s soul ached to see them, to hear the laughter that the children he had brought up in Sunnydale were denied. Rupert Giles had seen enough evil in his time. He had fought enough and wept enough. What had he done it all for? For the joy of the young. For the times he could cherish in those of despair – for love.

“They’ll be there on the 16th. Haile and Poppy can’t wait to meet you.”

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure they’ll love to meet Uncle Giles.”

Spike could hear the slightly bitter twinge in the Watcher’s voice. So that’s what the old man wanted. Someone to call him ‘Grandpa’.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy ran her hand along the waves of the gleaming white wedding dress. The preparations were causing a constant murmur of activity to run through the house at all hours. Giles had been working hard to make the wedding perfect and she loved him for it. Of course he was giving her away, but he had still been genuinely surprised at her offhand comment in the early stages of the wedding.

‘Of course you’re giving me away Giles. You’re my father aren’t you?’

That had meant so much more than Buffy would ever realise. Hank, her real father, didn’t seem too mind too much. He was coming as a guest and no more. She wasn’t even going to invite him but Giles and Brian had insisted. Friends had come and wished her well, dropped off gifts and gushed over the dress. A few old aunts and uncles had decided to arrive as well but Buffy couldn’t help thinking of her real family. She wanted them to be at the wedding, purely because she wanted to see them. But Spike had not contacted her and an invitation couldn’t bridge the gap she had caused. She had given it all up in a stupid heartbroken decision. They were right. Spike hadn’t deserved what she had done to him – yet she had done it again only a few weeks ago at the camp.

‘You always hurt the one you love’.

Those times, those years – they seemed almost part of another universe, another world, and another girl. The people, the loves, and the days – they all seemed to merge into one large ache that she labelled ‘the bad years’.

What scared her most was that in the midst of her white picket fence glory – the ache could almost be described as longing – labelled ‘the better years’.

~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*

“Do you think we’ll recognise them?”

“Of course we will Dawn, now please stop wringing my hand.” Giles seemed calm, but he himself was craning his neck trying to see The Harris family in the arrivals section of the airport.

Buffy however, fell back, truly petrified to see those that she had not seen for so long. When Giles had told her that the Scooby Gang had scheduled another meeting so to speak, Buffy’s whole world seemed to crumble. She knew that it was probably Spike that had asked them all to come. The ex-Slayer didn’t know if he would come and she was too scared to ask Giles. The thought of seeing him again was something she couldn’t face so she forgot about it. However, there was no avoiding the people from her past that she would have to face. Now, she was sorely tempted to run to the bathrooms and throw up and as she saw them turn the corner, luggage in hand, her stomach lurched, flopped and died on the spot.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

“Xander, do I look ok?”

“Ahn, honey – you look as beautiful as you always do.”

“Haile, Poppy, Liz, stay close now. It’s kind of crowded.” Anya seemed not to be able to tolerate silence for more than a few seconds and the kids were finding it funnier and funnier.

“Honey, please try to relax. It’s Giles. The G-Man.”

Nodding, Anya pulled Liz and Haile back slightly, fiddling with their hair – anything to keep her occupied.

After a lot of whining and smiling and pouting, Spike had agreed to let Liz go early with the Harris’. The three girls were practically giddy with excitement, so they did not take well to being used for Anya’s nerves.

“There he is!”

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“There they are! Dawn, Buffy, quickly – there they are.”

Dawn smiled, her heart warming at Giles’ enthusiasm.

“My goodness, look at the girls.”

“They have three kids?”

“No no, Liz is the one that Anya…my goodness, Anya.”

Time had changed all of them. Anya, of course, had aged gracefully and with no drastic change. Goofy Xander was still there hidden in the depths of quite the gentleman it seemed. Still not seeing Buffy, the group made their way, somewhat awkwardly to Giles and Dawn.

When they were a few metres away, Liz, Haile and Poppy had had enough of the parents and broke free into a run, all but lunging at Giles whose face lit up with a heartbreaking schoolboy grin.

“GRANDPA!!!!!”

Too overwhelmed to process anything, Giles was hit by three small thumps that twisted his glasses and warmed his soul.

Pulling his arms free, Giles clung onto the three children with almost a sense of desperation.

“Girls! Back off, he’s not used to your boundless energy.”

The girls started to pull away but Giles stopped them. “No, no please Anya. Its fine. Please.”

Anya, Xander and Dawn watched, not even acknowledging each other as Giles hugged the three girls and smiled, his eyes seeming to almost burst with each of their simple sentences.

‘Grandpa, I packed this really cool picture we did at school to show you…Poppy doesn’t like it but I think that…’

Tears streamed down his face while a smile was irremovable from it and finally he looked up at Anya and Xander, who seemed to have realised that by breaking off contact with Buffy that had truly taken something away from Giles.

Standing, Giles was immediately hit by an older thump as Anya clung to him, no longer able to hold back. Smiling, the ex-watcher held her close and more tears released his sadness. Anya cried too, laughed and pulled back, sniffing.

“Oh Anya. You have aged just as I thought you might.”

“You’re so old Giles.”

“Well, yes, I’m afraid I am.” Smiling, he raised his eyebrows and looked down in that way of his.

“Yo, G-man.”

“Xander. My goodness.”

They hugged, Xander pulling back and shaking his head. “I’m sorry Giles.”

“We both are.” Anya added.

“Lets forget about it.”

“So where’s Dawn and…Buffy?” Xander asked.

Giles frowned. Xander was standing right next to Dawn.

“I’m right here Xander.” Dawn said.

“Woah!” Xander stepped back and squinted. “Dawn!?”

“Yeah.” She chuckled and tilted her head at his shocked expression.

“Why are you so…”

“…much older? I grew up Xander…and cut my hair.”

She smiled at his gaping mouth and giggled at Anya who rolled her eyes, shoved her husband out of the way and hugged Dawn.

“Don’t mind him. He’s very slow.”

They all laughed. Giles had bent back down and was now hearing all about France from Poppy when he noticed an eerie silence from the group beside him. Just as he was about to comment, he heard Anya speak.

“Hello Buffy.”

~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~

“You look very well Buffy.”

“Thanks, you look great too. Your kids are beautiful.”

“Thanks. They’re great.”

They fell into a silence thick with words and apologies that were too built up to break down for each other. Xander simply came forward and gave the blond a hug and whispered, “I missed you.”

Nodding into his shoulder Buffy let the tears fall and for a long time, she just hugged each of them in turn, clinging to them for the longest moments before forcing herself to pull away. Haile and Poppy awed her the most with their Anya-isms and Xander loyalty. The happiness in Giles’ eyes tore at her heart and she felt that perhaps he could never be sated.

The drive to Spike’s hired building was made in polite conversation but after a few hours at the rooms, the gang had eased up around each other a lot more. Giles, Haile and Poppy were in the midst of a story, Anya was ordering dinner, Dawn had left to go pick up Brian to bring him over and Buffy and Xander were talking on the couch.

“The whole teacher thing is still pretty cool, Buffy.”

“Thanks. Who would’ve thought? But I really do love it, so it’s great.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, if you’re happy?” The way he said it hinted at things that the ex-slayer had hoped would not arise.

“Yes, I’m v-”

“Cut the crap Buffy. Are you still in love with Spike? Coz guess what, he’s head-over for you. Esta en amorada contigo....or whatever, it might be amorado…”

“…the slime is a deep green colour, its because of their dimension-travelling. They have rather large feet…yes, Poppy, just like your Dad’s…”

The silence between the two friends stretched and finally Buffy answered.

“No.”

~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~~

Xander grinned as he watched his daughters play with the large mastiff. Sergio was a big hit with Haile and Poppy. All they could talk about was how adorable and sweet he was and Xander had a feeling that there would be the not-so-faint pattering of not-so-little paw steps in the Harris house soon.

Liz and Buffy were getting on amazingly and Liz had officially become Felia the cat’s other owner. The group of friends went out for picnics and trips to the cinema or theatre and had an amazing time getting to know each other. Dawn shocked all of them with her anecdotes and catching-up was still being done. The kids had basically decided to stay with Giles and Angel and Cordelia were due to arrive soon.

Brian was very surprised to meet this whole family of new people from a past Buffy claimed to have let go. None of them had been able to meet his eyes and Liz kept looking at him almost longingly. Feeling quite uncomfortable, he drowned himself in wedding preparations and all but left Buffy to her friends.

~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~*****~~~~~******~~~~~~~~

“What time were they meant to get here?”

“Well Angel said that the flight landed at 2.30 so they should have been out nearly half an hour ago now.”

“I’m sure the baby is just slowing them down.”

Giles, Buffy, Dawn and Liz were all at the airport waiting for Angel, Cordelia and Connor to arrive. The Harris clan were being fitted for the wedding and would join them later.

Liz, her small hand held firmly between Giles’ older ones, tried to peer past the crowd in an attempt to spot her Grand-Sire.

“There he is!” she screamed, running towards the vampire.

Angel grinned and scooped her up into his arms, lifting her high into the air. Giving her a thorough hug, he set her down and she clung to Cordelia’s leg. The proud new mother bent down, holding her precious baby, and hugged Liz.

“He’s still so little.” Liz murmured, too scared to touch the baby.

Cordelia grinned and pulled away a little of the blanket so that Liz could see Connor clearer. His small hand curled against the blankie and soft pink skin nestled towards Cordelia’s body.

Angel smiled, still awed by his parenthood, and grabbed their trolley of luggage. Standing, Cordelia and Liz joined him, and the four made their way towards Giles, Buffy and Dawn.

“Giles.” Angel asked, somewhat shocked at the change in the watcher.

“Angel.” Giles replied warmly.

“…Da-Dawn?”

“Yeah, geez. When I say you have not changed one bit, I can be taken literally.”

Angel grinned and exchanged hugs with Giles and Dawn. Behind him, Cordelia held nervously onto Liz’s hand and glanced towards the luggage. Her mate recognised the nervousness and gently pulled her forward.

“Cordelia, and our son, Connor.”

Giles and Dawn smiled as Angel carefully took Connor from her arms and eased her towards Giles.

“Congratulations, you make a beautiful mother, Cordelia. It’s been far too long.”

Smiling, the teenager in her leaped forward and she clung to him, desperately seeking the support she’d always felt in Sunnydale. They pulled back and she hugged Dawn, complimenting the younger woman’s growth.

Buffy had stepped back, watching the scene play out, again feeling alienated and ashamed. As Cordelia took Connor from Angel and showed her son to the two, Buffy felt as if she should leave and run far far away. The dark-haired vampire saw her and came forward.

“Hello Buffy.”

“Angel, congratulations. He’s going to be a great kid.”

“Thanks. Congrats are due to you also. I hope this guy knows how lucky he is.”

“He does, thank you. You missed all the messy stuff luckily. Everything is pretty much ready now, so you get the beautiful glossy version.”

“I’m glad, you seem really happy.”

“I am. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s amazing to see how you’ve escaped aging as well as I have.”

Buffy laughed and grinned. “You’ve not change much.”

They spent a moment in a fairly comfortable silence that Buffy broke, “I don’t think Cordelia wants to be here.”

“I’m sorry.” He said, not willing to deny the truth.

“No no, I don’t blame her. It’s nice to see she cares about her…son I guess.”

Angel couldn’t help but smile at that. “When trying to get on Cordelia’s good side, do not mention the whole ‘mother of Spike’ thing. She is still unwilling to accept the title. When Liz told her that Spike had insisted that Connor is Liz’s uncle, she nearly had a fit.”

They laughed until finally, the other five walked over.

“Hey Cordelia.”

“I’m not the type to fake nice unless there is a very good reason, so I won’t. Congratulations on your wedding, Buffy. I won’t hide the fact that I could never condone what you did to Will, but I’m trying to get over it.”

“Thanks Corde-”

“I also won’t lie like everyone else. He loves you. So if you love him, don’t be stupid.”

“Honey…” Angel began, worried at her bluntness.

“No. I won’t let her sit back and toy around with this. Spike is your childe Angel, why the hell don’t you care enough to do something about that.”

“It’s not our place.”

“Since when has that ever stopped me?”

“I…” Buffy began, shocked.

“Connor needs a change, I’d appreciate if we could head to Spike’s place.” She ended the conversation and Buffy nodded, mute.

Giles cleared his throat and led the way.

~*~*~*~*~**~~**~

They all made it to the building, carefully avoiding the incident. Giles proved to be very good with Connor, which immediately put Cordelia in a great mood, and she chattered to the ex-watcher and Dawn about her baby. Angel and Liz had a lot of catching up to do and they giggled and laughed as though they’d not seen each other for years rather than weeks.

Longing to be comfortable with her friends, Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes. They were all trying so hard to forgive her, but she knew that they still could not understand the cold-hearted way she had treated Spike.

She hadn’t seen him for a while now and there seemed to be this palpable longing, a deep rooted ache, an unscratchable itch to stare into his eyes one more time and see, see if she really could spend the rest of her life away from him.

In love with her? Could he be?

She did love Brian, and she could never hurt him by cancelling the wedding so close to the day. They would be happy together, and life was comfortable and steady with him. The goofy, devoted and patient man had truly been her support the past few years and loving him had happened so carefully and beautifully, it didn’t seem right to ruin it. She couldn’t help but wonder, however, about passion and fire and heat and electricity and breathless-

“Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking… maybe I should have the deep red tablecloth?”

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

“Tomorrow at 6PM, I am going to marry you, Buffy Summers.”

“Well guess what. I happen to be marrying you at that exact same time.”

“Damn. That’s good.”

Buffy smiled and they continued walking through the garden. The night was a classic summer night with autumn beginning to seep. The air was gripping in a clean, icy stillness with a distinctly fresh and thin feel to it. The ground was damp and the stars were crisp and clear.

Looking back at the house she had started a new life in, Buffy stopped for a moment.

“It’ll be so strange to leave home.”

“We’re not too far. It’s a ten minute drive.”

“Yeah.”

They talked together for a while and finally decided to head inside. Liz, Cordelia, Connor, Anya and Xander were with Giles and Dawn, getting ready for dinner. Angel had taken Haile and Poppy out for the night since he’d not spent much time with them recently.

As they neared the back door, Sergio pawed towards Brian and Felia curled around Buffy’s leg. Scooping up the cat, Buffy peered inside the apparently bustling house.

“Whats going on?” Brian asked.

“I dunno.” Buffy replied and they walked through the conservatory into the living room. The sight that greeted them was one that Buffy was not sure she could fully absorb.

3D, Full-colour, Surround Sound Spike.

Oh, and Willow.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~