Chapter 8:

Buffy felt like a new person. Maybe that’s because she was, to some extent.
By the time Willow got back from her Aunt’s and Cordelia came home after
her family vacation in the Bahamas, neither recognized Buffy. She didn’t
know whether that was good or bad, but she was also past the point of
caring.

Her mother hated the new look, except for her hair. Buffy had gotten
numerous compliments until she walked downstairs in a pair of low-slung
jeans and a shirt that could be classified as a bra. Joyce had practically
hit the ceiling, and there was at least one fight a day over the last few
weeks, but Buffy was determined to be her own person, and right now, she was
happy with the person she had turned into.

Standing in the Bronze, drinking a screwdriver with Faith, Buffy glanced
into her glass and noticed that it was mostly vodka with very little orange
juice. A month ago, a straight drink would have sent Buffy gagging into the
women’s restroom. Now it wasn’t a normal night unless she had at least
three drinks.

“Come on, B. Let’s dance.”

Buffy allowed Faith to pull her out on the dance floor. Raising her arms
above her head and letting her hips sway seductively, the two young women
were immediately enveloped by a group of frat guys from UCSunnydale, eagerly
hoping to get their attention.

* * * * *

Walking into the Bronze with Drusilla on his arm, Spike glanced around the
area. He’d just gotten back into town that night, and Dru had immediately
wanted to go to the club, even though Spike had jetlag from hell.

“Come on, my Spike,” Dru said, using her new name for him as they slowly
walked through the club.

His eyes fell on the dance floor where he saw a blonde in black leather
pants and a red corset top, swaying seductively to the music. He couldn’t
see her face, but he felt drawn to her as she continued to move in a manner
that practically oozed sex. Seconds before she was about to turn around,
Spike felt a jerk on his arm and turned to see the angry gaze of his
girlfriend as she pulled him toward a nearby table.

With one last glance at the dance floor, Spike sighed when he saw that the
girl had been surrounded by a group of men.

* * * * *

When the song ended, Buffy gasped for breath as Faith shot her a bright
smile. Brushing off any offers they were getting, the two girls walked
toward the bar. Buffy was surprised that Faith hadn’t ditched her for one
of the guys, but it was still early.

“Can I buy you ladies a drink?”

Never one to refuse an offer, Buffy turned with a seductive smile already
firmly in place. Her eyes widened when she saw the owner of the voice
before her mask fell back in place.

“I don’t see why not,” she replied with a flirty smile.

Ordering three shots of whiskey, Buffy could almost feel her stomach turning
at the idea of more alcohol, but the tall man flashed a winning smile, and
she instantly shrugged off the feeling.

Faith accepted her shot glass before shooting Buffy a look and eyeing the
brunette man.

“I’m Buffy,” she said with a bright smile, giving the man a coy look.
“Buffy Summers.”

“Angelus O’Connor,” he replied, taking her hand and leaving a soft kiss on
it, smiling when he saw the delicate blush that colored her cheeks. The
woman was practically exuding sex, and she was blushing from a kiss on the
hand. “I’m a junior at UCSunnydale.”

“Senior at Sunnydale High,” she replied, figuring that she might as well be
honest. If he was going to leave because of her age, she preferred that it
happened now.

Angelus recognized the look on her face as she waited for a potential
dismissal, but he simply gestured at the drink in her hand. “That’s not
doing much good in the glass,” he said with a winning smile.

Buffy glanced at the shot before tilting her head back and letting the
liquid slide down her throat. Resisting the urge to make a face as the
alcohol burned through her, she immediately felt lightheaded, blinking
rapidly to try and refocus her eyes.

Turning to face the dance floor, Buffy frowned when she saw a man sitting at
a nearby table. Willing her eyes to stay focused, she studied him for a
moment before she realized that it was William. Spinning around as he
turned in her direction, Buffy grabbed Faith’s arm, jerking her away from
her conversation with a college guy.

“He’s here,” she hissed, not wanting to risk him seeing her as she let Faith
partially hide her from view.

“Who’s here?”

“William!”

“No shit? Where is he?”

Buffy pointed out the table and ducked behind her friend again as Faith
turned around.

“Damn! That’s the guy you’ve been getting your naughty on with? I can see
why you’d pine away for him. And I’m guessing the vampire he’s sitting with
is his new squeeze?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said softly. “What do I do?”

“That’s easy. Hey, you!” Buffy turned in time to see Faith yell at Angel
who was still standing a few feet away. “You know how to dance, right?”

“Well, I-“

“Great!” Faith interrupted, shoving Buffy in his direction. “She needs to
work off some frustration.”

Angelus raised an eyebrow but wasn’t about to back down from dancing with
the blonde. Holding out his hand to her, he waited until Buffy hesitantly
took it before walking toward the dance floor.

Pulling her back against his chest, Angelus moved slightly, suppressing a
groan when he felt her push against him. Sliding his arms around her waist
and holding her flush against his body, enjoying the feel of her soft curves
against him as she turned in his arms, letting her hands trail over his
chest.

“Is it working?” he whispered in her ear, smiling against her skin when he
felt her shiver.

“What?” she asked breathlessly.

“Working off your ‘frustration’?”

“It’s a start,” Buffy murmured, willing herself not to look over at the
table.

* * * * *

Spike looked up from his drink, already bored with the conversation with
Drusilla as she went off on one of her rants, talking to two of her friends
at the table. Spike had no interest in talking to the morons. He preferred
looking for the enticing little blonde that he’d spotted when he walked in.
He’d seen her at the bar a few minutes before, but she hadn’t been where he
could see her face.

Glancing at the dance floor, he was surprised to see her in the arms of an
overbearing oaf of a man. And he was more surprised at the flash of
jealousy he felt. ‘You’ve never even seen the chit’s face.’

Waiting until they turned, Spike nearly choked on his drink when he saw that
she was his ex-girlfriend. Her curves were shown off in a way that Spike
had never seen and her hair was shorter, falling around her shoulders. It
was more blonde than he remembered, and the way she was moving was causing
him to become painfully hard in his jeans.

‘You’re the one who broke it off,’ he tried to tell himself as he looked at
his current girlfriend before letting his gaze travel back to the blonde.
‘You wanted Dru and you broke Buffy’s heart and…bloody hell, she looks
good.’

* * * * *

“Do you want to get out of here?” Angelus whispered into her ear.

Glancing at Faith at the bar, Buffy could swear she was a mind reader as the
other girl gestured for her to go with him. “Yeah,” Buffy whispered, biting
her lip in uncertainty as he took her hand and led her toward the door.

“I’ll go get the car,” he said, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek when
they walked into the alley.

Buffy nodded, slightly dizzy from the alcohol as leaned against the side of
the building. Hearing the door open and close behind her, her entire
body tensed when she heard the one voice she wished she could forget.

“Buffy?”

Chapter 9:

She slowly turned around to come face-to-face with William.

‘Why today? Why now?’ she asked herself. ‘Can’t I just have one good night without someone ruining it?’

He looked up and down her body, still stunned at how much she had changed.

‘I always knew she had that body,’ he thought. ‘I’ve just never seen her show off so much of it before.’

She was thankful to see that his own transformation had stopped with the still platinum blonde hair.

“Hi,” she said quietly, praying that Angelus would return quickly and whisk her away. “So, you’re back.”

“Yeah,” he replied, putting his hands in his pockets. “You look different.” She nodded, looking around to see if Angelus was any closer to rescuing her. “Took a page out of my book, eh?” She looked at him, an eyebrow raised and her arms crossed.

“What does that mean?” she asked. He noticed that her eyes were glassy.

‘She’s drunk,’ he thought, yet again shocked by how different she had become. ‘What happened to her?’

“It just means that I changed my look, and apparently, you did, too,” he said, trying to mask his concern for her.

“Girls change their style all of the time,” she said, turning her back to him.

“So why’d you do it then?” he asked, somewhat hurt by the fact that she had turned away from him.

“Because I wanted to try something new,” she answered. “I happen to like the revamped Buffy, thank you very much.” He smiled slightly and frowned as a brunette girl came outside, dressed similarly to Buffy.

“Hey,” Faith said, handing Buffy her purse. “Don’t want to forget this.” Buffy smiled at the girl.

“Thanks,” she said, taking her bag and getting even more anxious for Angelus to come back.

“So, who are you, blondie?” Faith asked William, not wanting to point out that Buffy had told her all about him already, an act which Buffy greatly appreciated.

“I’m Spike,” he said, extending a hand to the brunette. Both girls raised an eyebrow.

‘What? Is he joking?’ Buffy thought, staring at him.

“You changed your name?” she asked, watching as Faith shook his hand.

“Dru gave it to me,” he said quietly, choosing not to look at his ex-girlfriend.

‘Oh, isn’t that just adorable,’ she thought, frowning.

“I’m Faith,” her friend finally said. “Well, I’ll let you go on ahead, B, and I’ll call you tomorrow.” Buffy nodded and watched as Faith went back inside.

“So, that girl’s your friend?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked at Buffy.

“Yeah. Do you have a problem with her?” she asked defensively, glaring at him. He raised his hands in surrender.

“No,” he answered. “I just wouldn’t expect you to be friends with a girl like her.”

“Yeah, well, expect the unexpected,” Buffy said, turning away from him again. “It’s not like you know who I am anymore, Spike.” He cocked an eyebrow and nodded, looking away as clenched his jaw.

“So, the new version of Buffy is bitchy,” he said. “Good to know.” She turned around, staring at him.

“Yeah? And what the hell is up with the name ‘Spike’?” she asked. “You sound like an inmate.” She giggled to herself. “Do you have a heart tattoo with ‘Mom’ written inside it? Or better yet, it would be ‘Mum’, wouldn’t it?” She continued to drunkenly laugh as Angelus finally pulled up. He got out of the car and walked over to the two blondes.

“Ready to go, Buffy?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Spike tried to control his jealousy, fighting off the urge to punch the brunette man.

‘Why is he touching her?’ he thought. ‘No one should touch her…but she’s not yours anymore, you ponce, because you let her go. For the girl who’s still inside the club and probably hasn’t even realized that you left the table yet.’

Angelus looked at him and extended a hand.

“Angelus O’Connor,” he said, and Spike hesitantly shook his hand, making sure to squeeze it as tightly as he could.

“Spike Giles,” he said, glaring slightly at the taller man.

“Nice to meet you,” Angelus said, smirking at him.

The door opened behind Spike, and he was surprised to see Drusilla standing there suddenly. Buffy looked at the girl maliciously.

“Well, hello, Buffy,” Dru said, looking at her. “I like your outfit. I used to have a top like that.”

‘Why am I not surprised?’ Buffy thought, leaning into Angelus’ side more.

“Thanks,” she replied, managing an insincere smile at the other girl. “Well, it was good to see you two again, but we need to head off. See you at school.” Angelus took her hand in his and led her towards his car, helping her get in before driving away. Spike watched the car speed off with a concerned and angry look on his face.

“Come on, precious Spike,” Dru purred at him, linking her arm with his. “Let’s go back inside.” He nodded and followed her in, all the while worried about Buffy.

* * * * *

When Buffy woke up the next morning, she raised an eyebrow when she saw an arm draped over her side. She froze when she realized that both her and whoever she was with were naked. She looked around the unfamiliar room and felt nauseous.

‘What’s going on?’ she thought, trying to sit up but failing as the effects of her hangover kicked in. She lay back down, shutting her eyes as the pounding headache that had suddenly developed was now threatening to make her throw up. She saw that there were beer bottles and other empty liquor bottles scattered around and narrowed her eyes at them. ‘Of course- I just had to drink last night.’ She groaned quietly as her head began to hurt even more. ‘Why did I drink so much in the first place?’ She slowly turned over to look at the person beside her. ‘Angelus?’ She began to feel even sicker as she realized she was unable to remember what had happened the night before. ‘Oh god, what have I done?’

Slowly pushing herself out of bed, Buffy grabbed a nearby blanket, wrapping
it around herself in a modest attempt to cover her nudity. Trying to ignore
the pounding in her head as she gathered her clothes, she froze when she saw
a movement out of the corner of her eye.

“Where are you rushing off to, baby?”

“I, um…I figured I should go ahead and leave…you might have an early day,”
she added nervously.

Angelus rolled over, looking at the clock on his nightstand. “It’s already
past ten. Stay. I’ll make us some breakfast,” he said with a smile.

Buffy was about to decline the offer when she felt herself pulled back down
to the bed. Tensing up with the uneasiness of the situation, she gave him a
soft smile when he attempted to take things further.

“I should really go,” she whispered, turning her head as he tried to kiss
her.

“No. I’m up,” he replied, recognizing her nervous signals and sitting up in
bed, running a hand over his face. ‘I’ll just have to be more careful about
getting this one in my bed again,’ he thought, hiding his smirk. ‘Give her
a little bit of romance.’

“What do you want for breakfast?” he asked.

“I’m really not all that hungry,” Buffy said, avoiding his gaze as she
clutched the blanket even tighter.

“Get dressed and I’ll make us some coffee.”

Buffy blushed when he got out of bed, not at all concerned with his nudity.

“I had fun last night,” Angelus continued. “I’d like to do it again
sometime.”

“I-I don’t know, Angel. I mean…you seem like a nice enough guy, but I just
don’t think I’m ready for…this kind of relationship.”

Breathing a sigh of relief when she saw him slipping on a pair of
sweatpants, Buffy moderately relaxed.

“Well, last night was a bit rushed for me, but I was thinking we could see
each other in a non-alcoholic sense,” he replied with a charming smile,
designed to melt any woman’s heart.

Buffy worried her bottom lip for a long moment as she thought about what
he’d said. “You don’t strike me as the type of guy who wants a
relationship,” she finally said softly.

“I wasn’t,” Angelus said, keeping his smile firmly in place. “Until you
came along.”

He watched as Buffy blushed, looking at the floor.

‘And because I’d rather be getting it from you than half the girls in this
town,’ he thought with a secret smirk, walking toward the kitchen.

Buffy quickly ran for the bathroom, dressing in the clothes she’d worn the
night before and looking at herself in the mirror. Last night she felt like
a temptress. Just another girl out to have a good time. In the harsh light
of day, she felt like a slut. Staring at the form-fitting corset and leather
pants, not to mention her teased hair, no doubt a result from what they’d
been doing just hours before, Buffy felt the sudden urge to get sick.

She was on the pill and she vaguely remembered seeing a condom wrapper on
the nightstand, so at least that gave her a small sense of relief, but not
the fact that she slept with a man she barely knew. She wasn’t that type of
girl. She and William had lost their virginity to each other when they were
fifteen, which was extremely young, but they’d been dating for over a year
and it seemed like it was time.

She definitely didn’t meet strange men and go back to their apartments.
Seeing a black shirt on the back of the door, Buffy grabbed it and eagerly
buttoned it over the corset, providing a much needed sense of modesty. The
shirt was massive on her, but she felt more secure as she rolled up the
sleeves so they didn’t cover her hands.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy opened the door, slowly walking down the hall to
the fresh smell of coffee.

“Morning,” Angelus said with a bright smile.

“You seem more awake,” she commented, trying to smile as she took a seat at
the counter.

“Coffee helps,” he replied, offering her a mug.

“Thanks,” she murmured, looking into the bitter liquid and grimacing before
taking a long swallow and feeling her stomach roll in response.

“Good?”

“Can I have some water?”

Angelus smiled, offering a glass that was ready for her, along with two
pills.

Buffy eagerly took them and drained the glass.

“I really would like to see you again,” he said with a gentle smile.

‘It’s time to move on, it’s time to move on…’

“I’d love to.”

* * * * *

Grateful that Angelus was letting her borrow his shirt, Buffy stepped out of
his car after giving him his requested kiss. She waved as he pulled away
before turning to the house, never so happy that her mother was out of town.

Walking toward the front door, Buffy felt her heart nearly stop in her chest
when she saw Spike leaning against the front door, taking in her appearance.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, digging in her purse for her keys.

“Looking for you.”

Glancing at him before quickly looking away, Buffy jerked the keys out of
her purse. “Have you been here all night?”

“No,” he replied, stepping aside as she unlocked the door and turned back to
him. “Less than an hour.”

“What do you want, William?”

“It’s Spike.”

“Whatever.”

Spike sighed, glancing down at his feet as he shoved his hands in the
pockets of his duster. “Did you sleep with him?”

Buffy’s eyes narrowed as anger clouded her vision. “Where the hell do you
get off asking me that?! You’ve been fucking another girl for seven months,
and you’re asking me about my sex life?! You have a lot of nerve, Spike!”

“You can do better,” he replied quietly.

“Really?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Who?”

“What?”

“Who the hell is better, Spike? What guy, in your expert opinion, is better
for me? I want a name.”

Looking down at the ground, Spike searched his brain for an answer before
raising his eyes to hers. “No one…no one is good enough for you,” he
whispered.

“So…in other words…I can’t do better. In that case, I think I’ll take my
chances with the guy who wants to be with me.”

“You shouldn’t be with someone just because they want to be with you.”

“Yeah? You’re a fucking expert on that subject,” Buffy said through
clenched teeth. Walking through the door, she turned and saw the
crestfallen look on his face before taking a deep breath.
“Goodbye…William.”

Chapter 10:

“Thanks, Angelus,” Buffy said, smiling at him as he pulled up in the parking lot of Sunnydale High School. “You really didn’t have to drive me.”

“Come on- my princess deserves nothing but the best on her first day of senior year,” he replied, smirking at her as he leaned over to kiss her. She smiled against his lips and grabbed her backpack. “Besides, you look beautiful in the morning.” She blushed slightly and opened the car door. “So, am I coming for you after school?”

“No, I think I’m going to try to have some quality friend time,” she answered, shrugging.

‘Good. I think Darla wanted to come over this afternoon anyway,’ he thought.

“Well, I guess I’ll talk to you later,” he said. “Good luck.” She took a deep breath and got out of the car. He watched her for a moment before speeding off. As she was walking towards the front doors, she saw Spike watching her, leaning against the side of his car with a frown on his face.

‘I wonder where Lady Skank is this morning,’ Buffy thought, looking away from him as she reached the doors and walked inside. Opening her locker, she sighed when she felt someone standing beside her. Turning to see Spike standing there, an angry look replacing his prior upset one, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“So, getting rides now with the great poof?” he asked, crossing his arms. She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah,” she answered. “So what? I can’t get rides to school unless it’s you taking me?” He looked away. “So, where’s your precious Dru?”

“She doesn’t have class first hour this semester, so she doesn’t have to come for another hour,” he said.

“Oh,” she replied. He nodded, looking at her again.

“You know, I could drive you on days when that ponce can’t,” he offered, his tone somewhat hopeful.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she said sternly, getting her morning textbooks. “I think I can manage just fine without your help. Been doing it long enough.” He frowned.

“So, what happened to the leather get-up you were wearing the other day?” Spike asked, taking in her low-rise jeans and black tank top.

“I’d rather be comfortable at school than wearing something that sticks to your skin when it’s hot,” Buffy replied, looking pensively into her locker. “Besides, I don’t want to be ogled by the guys here.” He chuckled slightly, and she looked at him. “So, what’s your first class?”

“Trigonometry,” he answered. “What about you?” She suppressed the urge to groan.

“I have Trig, too,” she answered, and he smiled slightly. “Well, how is that for a coincidence?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, watching her close her locker. “So, shall we go?” She looked at him for a second before nodding.

“Yeah,” Buffy said softly. “Let’s get this over with.” He led her towards their classroom, and they walked in together. Noticing that several students watched them with confused expressions, she felt like announcing to everyone that no, she was not with Spike again, but as he sat in the desk beside her, she sighed instead and grabbed her supplies for class.

‘This is going to be a long year, isn’t it?’ she asked herself.

* * * * *

When it was time for lunch, Willow met Buffy by her locker and smiled at her friend.

“Hey,” she said. “It’s been a long time.” Buffy frowned and nodded sadly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Will,” she apologized. “I’ve been really busy these last few weeks.”

“Yeah, I saw you with that Faith girl one day at the mall,” she said. Buffy nodded and swapped her books, preparing for her afternoon classes.

“Yeah, Faith helped me buy a new wardrobe,” Buffy said. Suddenly, she heard Willow gasp and looked at her friend, seeing the surprise in her eyes. “What is it?” She pointed to the picture in Buffy’s locker of Angelus kissing her.

“What did I miss?” she asked, staring at Buffy. “Are you two…together?”

“Yeah,” Buffy answered, realizing that she hadn’t told Willow about it.

‘I’m such a bad friend,’ she thought. ‘I haven’t even seen her over the last month. I’ve always been too busy with Angelus.’

“Wow,” Willow said. “I never would have expected that hook-up. He seems so different from you.”

“I guess,” Buffy shrugged. “But sometimes we’re so similar it’s scary.” Willow managed a small smile.

“Well, you’ll have to give me all of the details during lunch,” she said. Buffy smiled and nodded, following Willow to the cafeteria after shutting her locker.

After sitting down at the table, Buffy was surprised to see the looks on her friends’ faces.

“What? Is there something in my teeth?” she asked, panicking. Xander chuckled and smiled at her.

“No,” he answered. “It’s just been such a long time since we’ve seen you. You’ve been MIA, Buff.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. “But I promise I’ll be around more.” Willow smiled at her friend, even though she had a feeling that Buffy really wouldn’t be around as much as they’d like her to be.

‘Not if that broody brunette is hanging around,’ she thought. ‘I’ll probably only see her at school from now on.’ She looked down and sighed, and when Buffy saw her friend’s sad expression, she realized that she was going to have to make a greater effort to patch up her friendship with Willow.

‘It’s the least I can do,’ she said to herself.

“So, Buff, you going to the big beach party this weekend?” Xander asked.

“Planning on it,” she replied softly.

“Are you bringing the new guy?” Williow asked.

“I-I don’t have to…I mean, if it’s friends only, that’s totally cool.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Willow replied with a soft smile. “I’ll be with Oz and a bunch of other people are bringing dates.”

“Okay,” Buffy said with a smile, grateful that her friend was trying to accept her choices.

* * * * *

After school, Buffy went to her locker to dump off the books she wouldn’t need for homework.

“Hey, luv,” Spike said, appearing beside her. She looked at him, surprised. “So, is the magnificent poofter picking you up?” She shook her head. “Dru is going to a friend’s house, so I can drive you home, if you’d like.”

“I think I’ll walk, thanks,” she said, shutting her locker and walking away from him. He frowned and quickly caught up to her as she got outside.

“Come on, Buffy,” he said, trying not to sound like he was pleading.

‘I just want to spend some time alone with her again,’ he thought, looking at her.

“I’d rather walk, Spike,” she said, walking faster, but it didn’t stop him from keeping up with her.

“It looks like it’s going to rain,” he replied. “I don’t want you to walk in the rain. You could get a cold.”

“Well, it’d be a good excuse to stay home from school,” she said, shrugging, and he grabbed her arm to stop her.

“I’d like to drive you,” he said, looking directly into her eyes. She recognized the sparkle he had in them and quickly looked away.

“I like walking in the rain,” she said, breaking away from his grip. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He watched her walk away from him and sighed, clenching his jaw and fists.

‘She’s always so bloody stubborn,’ he thought. ‘But then again, that’s one of the things I love most about her.’ He paused and made a face. ‘Loved, not love. It’s one of the things I loved about her.’ He sighed. ‘Oh, who am I kidding?’

Chapter 11:

Pulling up into a nearby parking lot, Buffy nervously fidgeted with her
t-shirt as Angelus parked the car.

“You okay?” he asked, brushing her hair off her shoulder as he looked at her
with eyes filled with concern.

“Fine,” Buffy said with a smile that was clearly forced.

“You’re sure?”

”Yeah,” she replied, grabbing her bag and getting out of the car before the
questioning went any further. She didn’t know why she was so on edge with
the idea of Angelus meeting her friends, but she couldn’t seem to calm down.
They were from two different halves of her own personal world, and the idea
of bringing them together wasn’t settling her nerves.

Walking toward the beach, Buffy felt Angelus’ hand on her back and had to
fight the urge to shrug it off. She was standing out in the open and a
sudden claustrophobic sense was surrounding her. Wanting to settle her
fears, Buffy reached back and clasped his hand in hers, closing the
distance.

Several girls were giving Angelus appreciative glances, and Buffy felt a
small sense of pride, but it quickly vanished when she saw Spike with his
arms around Dru.

‘It’s been months- get over him!’

Tightening her grip on Angelus’ hand, Buffy tore her gaze away from the
other couple and walked over to Willow and Oz, giving them each a tentative
smile as she made introductions.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Angelus said with a charming smile, shaking
Willow’s hand.

“Yeah…you too,” she replied, quickly pulling her hand away and taking a step
back.

“Hey, man,” Oz said with a slight nod before wrapping an arm around Willow’s
shoulders.

Oz’s stoic nature didn’t surprise Buffy, but Willow’s uneasiness wasn’t
settling Buffy’s nerves at all.

'She never seems skittish of people,' Buffy thought, a little surprised. 'I wonder if something's wrong.'

Before Buffy could ask, Angelus' voice interrupted her thoughts.

“You want to go swimming, babe?”

Buffy nodded, slipping out of her shorts and pulling her shirt over her
head, blushing when she saw Angelus’ strong gaze perusing her body with a
smirk on his lips.

“Wh-“

Before the question was even past her lips, she gave a muffled squeal when
his mouth crashed down on hers in a brutal kiss.

* * * * *

Spike’s eyes trailed over Buffy as she walked toward her friends, speaking for a
few moments before stripping down to a navy blue string bikini. He felt his
mouth go dry and his cock harden at the sight of her bronzed skin and toned
body exposed to every hungry gaze on the beach. His eyes narrowed in anger
as he watched the overgrown ape that she was with crush his lips against
hers, only feeling a small sense of satisfaction when he saw how rigid her
reaction was. The satisfaction was short-lived when he realized that she
shouldn’t have that reaction with a man she wanted to be with.

Watching her carefully for several moments as Buffy extracted herself from
his arms, Spike felt a mild sense of relief. Something about this guy
rubbed him the wrong way, and Spike didn’t like the feelings he was getting.

“Would you like to go swimming, my Spike?”

Subtly glancing at Buffy as she walked toward the water's edge with Angelus
following behind her and checking out her ass, Spike turned toward his
girlfriend as she removed her clothes, revealing a black one-piece.

‘I used to tell Buffy she didn’t need to diet,’ he thought, looking at
Drusilla’s gaunt frame. ‘And then I break up with her for someone who
doesn’t even eat.’

“You go,” Spike said softly, brushing a kiss along her cheek. “I’ll find
you later.”

Dru shrugged before walking with a few of her friends toward the water.
Spike’s eyes drifted further down the beach, seeing Angelus scoop Buffy into
his arms, splashing water around both of them.

‘That’s supposed to be me…that should have been me.’

Closing his eyes against the thoughts that were assaulting him on a more
regular basis, Spike sighed and began walking down the beach, seeing Willow
and Oz talking a few yards away.

“Hi, Will…I mean Spike,” Willow said with a smile.

“Red, Oz.”

Oz nodded a greeting as Spike turned toward the ocean again. “So you met
the great poofter?”

“Angelus?” Willow asked. “Yeah.”

“What do you think?”

“He gives me the creeps,” she replied, shooting a nervous glance in Buffy’s
direction. “There’s just something about him that makes my skin crawl.”

“Is he good to her?”

“I really wouldn’t know,” Willow said softly. “The only time I see Buffy is
at school. She’s cutting herself off from everyone, hanging out with that
Faith girl and spending the night with Angelus whenever she gets a chance.”

“What does Joyce say?” Spike asked in surprise.

“She’s been out of town a lot more. I don’t even think she knows that
Buffy’s seeing anyone- she just knows about the makeover. And whenever
she’s in town, I think Buffy’s using Faith as an excuse at night, but that’s
just my opinion.”

“And I’m betting Joyce hit the roof with the new wardrobe.”

“That would be my guess,” Willow said. “It’s not exactly in Buffy’s comfort
zone. At least, not the Buffy I knew,” she added in a wistful tone.

“Do you think she’s doing drugs?” Spike asked, looking out at the water
where Buffy was swimming.

“No,” Willow replied, shaking her head. “But I know she’s drinking a lot
more…a lot more.”

“What happened?” Spike whispered to himself. ‘She was fine after we broke
up…as fine as could be expected, and then months later, she turns into a
completely different person.’

“What’s with the sudden interest?” Willow asked, looking at him curiously.

“I’m just worried about her,” Spike said quietly. “I was with her for
years…feel like I need to take care of her.”

“You still love her,” Oz said in a casual voice, not making eye contact with
the other man as he waved at someone down the beach.

“Love’s a strong word,” Spike replied as Oz turned his gaze back to him.

“Yeah…it is.”

* * * * *

When Angelus and Buffy emerged from the water and returned to the sand to grab their towels, Spike couldn’t help but look at her, noticing the droplets of water falling from her hair and rolling down her skin.

‘God, I miss her,’ he thought, sighing. Dru looked at him, sitting beside him on a blanket.

“Spike, I’m cold,” she said, getting his attention. He looked at her and frowned, instantly wrapping his arms around her, trying to generate heat for her. It was around then that Buffy noticed the two and frowned.

‘He used to do that for me,’ she thought. Angelus ran his hands up and down her arms, trying to keep her warm and she tried to give him a grateful smile before sitting with Willow and Oz. Angelus put his watch back on and looked at the time.

“Sorry, babe, but I have to go,” he said, trying to sound as apologetic and sincere as possible. Buffy looked at him, confused. “Remember? I have that meeting to go to tonight at the frat house.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Buffy said, frowning and standing up again. “Well, have a good night. Maybe I can see you tomorrow.” He nodded and leaned down to kiss her. “Bye, Angelus.”

“Bye, beautiful,” he replied, smiling at her before grabbing the rest of his stuff and walking towards the parking lot.

At the same time, Dru began to get dressed again and packed up her stuff.

“Want to leave, luv?” Spike asked, looking at her. She stood up and brushed the sand off of her clothes.

“Some of the girls and I are going out soon,” she answered, smiling as several of her friends walked over to the blanket. Spike frowned, not remembering Dru telling him about her plans.

“Do you want me to drive you?” he asked, standing up. She looked at him and shook her head.

“No, I’ve got a ride,” she answered. “But thank you.” He nodded and folded up the blanket. “I’ll see you tomorrow, darling Spike.” She kissed his cheek and followed her friends to their cars in the lot. He took a deep breath before looking at Willow, Oz, and Buffy about one hundred feet over.

‘What happened to Captain Forehead?’ he thought, surprised. ‘He already left?’

Willow noticed Spike looking at them and waved at him to come over. He hesitantly did, worried about how Buffy would react to him joining the group. As he sat down beside her, she visibly flinched and looked down. ‘I wish she’d be comfortable around me again. It would make things so much easier.’

“Hey,” Willow said, smiling at Spike. “A few people are coming soon to start a bonfire. Do you want to stick around?” He noticed that Buffy was watching him out of the corner of her eye.

“Sure,” he answered, shrugging. “Sounds like fun.” Buffy looked away, frowning. “Unless I’m not wanted.”

“Of course you are,” Willow replied, looking at Buffy for a second. “Right?” Oz nodded, and Buffy sighed.

“Sure,” she answered. “Why not?” Spike was surprised at her dreary tone.

“Well, then I guess I’m staying,” he said. She looked at him, and when he looked back at her, their eyes locked for a moment before she scowled at him and looked down.

‘Yep, she’s still the new reformed Buffy,’ he thought sadly. ‘I wish I could change her back…I wish I could change it all back.’

* * * * *

As the sun began to set, Riley, Sam, Cordelia, and Xander showed up, and all four guys began to build the bonfire. The girls sat back and watched them, starting a conversation amongst themselves. Spike was surprised that the guys were so inviting towards him, considering he hadn’t really talked to any of them since he broke up with Buffy and began dating Dru.

‘Can’t say I blame them,’ he thought, building up a pyramid of logs with Oz. ‘They were just being loyal to their friend. I would’ve done the same thing.’ He looked over at Buffy and quietly sighed.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Spike tonight?” Cordelia asked, looking at Buffy. “Are you two starting to patch up your friendship?” Buffy shook her head.

“No, he was here with Dru, and I was here with Angelus,” she began to explain. “Both of our significant others left, and now it’s just us left. We’re not hooking back up, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Cordelia looked at Willow for a moment, and Willow nodded to affirm what Buffy said.

“Did you meet the infamous Angelus, Willow?” Sam asked, and Willow nodded sheepishly. “What’d you think of him?”

“He seems…cool,” she said, trying to carefully choose her words while not giving away how she really felt through her facial expressions. Buffy looked at her. “He seems like a good guy.”

‘She’s got to be able to tell I’m lying,’ Willow thought. ‘I suck at lying.’

“Yeah?” Buffy asked, surprised. “It seemed like you got a bad vibe from him or something.”

‘Or maybe my lying skills are improving,’ Willow thought, surprised that Buffy hadn’t picked up on the truth.

“Well, hopefully we can meet him soon,” Cordelia said. “Are you going to take him to Homecoming?”

“Yeah, if he’s around,” Buffy replied. “He’s busy a lot.” She saw Spike talking with the guys and tried not to smile when he started chuckling at something Xander said.

‘I’ve missed seeing him laugh like that,’ she thought. ‘It seems like it’s been forever since he hung out with the group…but it’s not like I’ve been with them a lot, either.’

Riley came over to the girls and helped Sam stand up from her spot on a towel.

“Ready to warm up?” he asked the girls, smiling. Everyone nodded and got up, following him towards the rest of the guys.

Oz and Spike threw matches on the pile of logs, and instantly, they lit up, kicking off the bonfire. Buffy saw that there were four long logs, one on every side of the fire, and realized that the couples would all be sharing one. Once everyone sat down, she hesitantly sat on one with Spike. He looked at her and smiled.

‘Maybe things are looking up after all,’ he thought. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you looking at?” she asked sharply.

‘Or maybe not.’

* * * * *

A couple of hours passed, and the couples split apart from each other, walking around on the beach or going into the water. Buffy got up eventually and walked down the beach for a while before sitting on a big rock, looking up at the sky. Spike decided to follow her, smiling as he noticed her hair and skin gleaming in the moonlight.

“Is there any room left on the rock?” he asked, stopping to stand beside her. She looked at him and frowned. “Please?” He did his trademark pout, and she smiled slightly.

‘He still knows how to break down my defenses,’ she thought.

“Sure,” she conceded, scooting over so he could sit beside her. He smirked as he sat down and looked at the water.

“It’s beautiful here at night,” he said conversationally. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen this place when it’s been dark outside.”

“Me either,” Buffy said. “I think the last time I was here at night was last fall. Early October, maybe.” He looked at her.

“Was that the week before Homecoming?” he asked, and she nodded. “Yeah, I remember that night.” She looked at him, surprised. “We came here and watched the sunset before walking around the beach. You stubbed your toe on a rock, and I had to carry you back to the car.” She giggled at the memory, and he smiled.

‘I’ve missed that sound,’ he thought, taking a deep breath.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t thrown me into the water, I wouldn’t have chased you in revenge and tripped on that stupid rock,” she replied, smiling. “You owed me.” He smirked at her, and she quickly looked away, instantly regretting bringing up the past.

‘Why did I have to say anything in the first place?’ she asked herself. ‘I should’ve just kept quiet.’ She shivered slightly from the cold wind that began to blow past them. He looked at her, concerned.

“Are you cold?” he asked, and she nodded slightly, not choosing to look at him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she tensed up. “Is this okay?” She looked at him and saw the insecurity in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Yeah,” she answered quietly. “It’s fine.” They exchanged small smiles before looking at the water together.

* * * * *

“We should probably get going,” Spike said, standing up about an hour later. She looked at him.

“’We’?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and collecting her stuff.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I’m taking you home, aren’t I?”

“Since when?” Buffy asked, not remembering anyone mentioning that to her before.

“Since everyone else is already packing up and driving off,” he answered, watching the other couples head towards their cars. “So, what do you say? Do I get to drive you, Miss Daisy?” She started giggling and walked towards the parking lot with him in tow. When they reached his car, they put their stuff in the backseat, and he started the car before taking the longer route to her house.

‘The longer she’s with me, the safer I know she is,’ he thought. She stayed quiet for most of the drive, looking outside.

“It’s such a clear night,” Spike said casually. “It’s not too often that you can see the stars around here.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, curling up in her seat and looking at him. “And the moon looks beautiful tonight, too.” He smiled at her and turned on the radio. She made a face when British punk rock music started blaring in the car. “Turn this off!” she shouted over the song. “It’s horrible!”

“It’s the Sex Pistols,” he said defensively, even though he was smirking. “You used to like a couple of their songs.”

“Yeah, that was before,” Buffy replied, and both of them looked at each other for a moment before an awkward silence settled around them.

When he pulled up in front of her house, she grabbed her stuff from the backseat and looked at him.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said quietly as Spike gave her a soft smile. “I appreciate it. So, I guess I’ll see you at school.” He nodded, and before he knew what he was doing, he slowly leaned over and kissed her, feeling his stomach flip when Buffy returned the kiss before breaking away after a moment, her eyes wide.

‘Oh no,’ they both thought, separating even more from each other.

“Good night,” she said quickly, getting out of the car and practically running inside her house. He groaned in frustration and confusion, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“What the bloody hell just happened?” he asked himself before speeding off.

Chapter 12:

Buffy hesitantly climbed in Angelus’ car. It was Monday morning, and she had
faked a headache for the remainder of the weekend so she wouldn’t have to
lie to her boyfriend. He had refused to take no for an answer when she told
him she would just walk to school.

“You feeling better, baby?”

“Yeah,” she said quietly, absentmindedly licking her lips and practically
feeling Spike’s mouth on hers.

“I missed you yesterday.”

“Yeah…I missed you, too.”

‘Good, Buffy, sound even more unconvincing.’

“Did you have fun at the party?”

“I got to see my friends, so that’s always nice,” she responded
automatically as she stared out the window.

“That’s good, babe. Sorry I couldn’t stay longer. Maybe you and I could go
to the beach and have a private party this weekend,” Angelus said with a
smirk, reaching over and running his hand along her thigh.

“This weekend is Homecoming,” Buffy said softly.

“Yeah? Are you planning on going?”

‘I was.’

“No, I think I’ll just skip it. It’s not like there’s a lot of reason for
me to be there.”

“I can think of a good reason,” he replied with a smile.

“And what would that be?” Buffy asked, finally looking into his piercing
brown eyes.

“I get to see you dressed up in some sexy little number.”

“You would want to go with me?” she asked in surprise.

“Sure, why not?”

“I just didn’t imagine a high school dance being a place that you would want
to spend a Saturday night.”

“That was before I met you, princess,” Angelus replied, taking her hand in
his and leaving a gentle kiss on the back of it.

Buffy smiled, her first genuine smile since the beach party. “You really
want to go?” she asked as he pulled into the school parking lot.

“Absolutely,” he said with a smile. “You better get to class.”

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, grabbing her book bag and reaching for the door
handle.

“Hey,” Angelus said, stopping her before she could exit the car. “Don’t I
get a kiss?”

* * * * *

Spike watched from the entrance of the school as Buffy leaned over and
kissed her so-called boyfriend goodbye. Waving as he drove away, she turned
and saw Spike standing in front of her.

“Hi, Spike,” she murmured, figuring she owed him some type of acknowledgment
as she tried to walk by.

“We need to talk, Buffy,” he whispered, falling into step beside her.

With a heavy sigh, she turned to face him, looking up at him with pleading
eyes. “If that’s what you want…but not here.”

Spike glanced around the overcrowded school hallways before his gaze fell
back to Buffy. “Alright then,” he said with a small smile. “When?”

Becoming more uncomfortable as they continued to attract more stares from
the student population, she began to edge away from him. “After school.”

Spike nodded, watching as she turned and practically ran down the hall.

* * * * *

Buffy’s nerve was gone by the time school ended. Her Trig class seemed to
crawl by, with Spike trying to talk to her throughout the entire hour,
obviously growing frustrated since Buffy ignored him. The rest of the day
flew by, and she no longer had the desire or the willpower to talk to Spike.
Ready to make a break for it when the last bell rang, she was stopped by the
school Guidance Counselor who insisted the students call her Hallie.

“Buffy, I’m so happy I caught you,” she said with a friendly smile. “I
wanted to let you know that you are one of the candidates for Homecoming
queen.”

“Me?” Buffy asked in disbelief as she pointed to herself.

“Of course you, silly,” she said with a laugh. “I’m trying to tell all of
the candidates so that they will be sure and make it to the dance.”

“Thanks,” Buffy mumbled, turning and walking toward the doors, not seeing
Spike until it was too late.

“Can we not do this now?” she asked, trying to walk past him.

“You told me after school and I waited, so we’re doing this now,” he
replied, falling into step beside her.

“Spike, it’s been a long day and I just want to go home.”

“Then I’ll drive you.”

“That’s okay,” Buffy replied, shooting him a look.

“Then I’m walking with you.”

Whirling around to face him, her jaw set in a firm line, Buffy stared at him
for a moment. “Won’t your girlfriend miss you?” she asked, crossing her
arms over her chest.

“I don’t know and right now I really don’t care.”

“That doesn’t sound like the healthiest relationship,” she said with a
raised eyebrow. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Get in the car, Buffy,” Spike growled, pointing toward the Desoto.

Looking back and forth between the car and Spike for a moment, her eyes
narrowed. “I’ll get in the car, but get one thing straight- the only reason
I’m doing this is because I know you’ll follow me home if I walk, and this
means I have to spend less time with you…got it?”

“Got it,” Spike muttered, trying to control his temper before following her
toward the Desoto and closing the door after her.

Buffy stared out the window for several minutes before she realized that
Spike wasn’t driving her toward her house. “Spike, where the hell are you
taking me?”

“A place where we can talk.”

“We can talk while you’re driving! I don’t really feel like getting
kidnapped today.”

“I’ll take you home, Goldilocks, but I’m not going to run the risk of having
you jump out of the car and run into the safety of your house when things
get a little tough.”

Angrily slouching down in the seat, Buffy watched as he made several turns
and groaned when he pulled up to a hill that overlooked the town.

“What’s this? A little reminiscing?” she asked, climbing out of the car to
get away from the infuriating man sitting next to her.

“It’s private,” Spike said softly as he followed her. “We won’t be
interrupted…do you remember the first time we came here?”

“I remember it was a long walk,” Buffy shot back, avoiding his eyes as she
climbed to the top of the hill.

“I remember it being worth it.”

“What do you want, Spike?” Buffy asked, spinning around to face him. “I
know you didn’t bring me here just to remind me of a painful memory.”

“I know you didn’t mean it,” he said, his voice a soft whisper as he walked
toward her. “I know you wouldn’t take back that night for anything in the
world, because I sure as hell wouldn’t.”

Trying to keep her anger close to the surface to mask the pain and
confusion, Buffy turned to look at him with cold eyes. “We fucked…big
deal.”

“It was more than that,” he replied, grabbing her arm as she tried to turn
away again. “You told me you wished that it never happened…is that true?”

Her eyes darted around the area as she tried to come up with an answer.
Sighing in defeat when he tilted her chin up to look at him, Buffy shook her
head. “I wouldn’t take it back,” she whispered, closing her eyes to try and
keep the pain away.

Jumping away when she felt his lips brush tenderly over hers, Buffy’s hand
flew to her mouth in shock. “What the hell was that?!”

“I want you back, Buffy,” he said softly.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” she yelled at the sky before turning
around and walking back to the car.

“Buffy!”

“No!” she cried, spinning around to face him. “What? You wanted to sow
your wild oats and then come back to me? It’s not gonna happen, Spike!
I’ve moved on and I don’t plan on going back to someone who dumped me when
the next best thing came along. I have someone in my life now,” she
continued, her voice dropping as she watched him approach.

“Do you love him?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as he watched her.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy searched herself for the answer, her eyes
fluttering around the area before settling on Spike again. “Yeah,” she
whispered, her eyes widening in shock when he started to laugh.

“Can I have a little more indecision with that answer?”

“Screw you, Spike,” she hissed, turning her back on him. “This isn’t going
to happen.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because you left me!” she screamed, whirling around to face him as the
tears slipped down her cheeks. “I wasn’t enough for you, and you were too
much of a coward to tell me that, so you just waited until you had a back-up
whore lined up!”

“That’s not true,” he yelled, approaching her again. “You were never a
whore, and I never went looking for anyone else. I made a mistake! People
make mistakes, Buffy!”

“Yeah, they do…and I’m not about to make the same mistake with you,” Buffy
sighed, looking down as she worried her bottom lip for a moment. Slowly
raising her eyes to his when she saw that Spike was standing in front of her,
she continued, “I’m a different person now…I don’t know how to be that girl
anymore. To tell you the truth, I don’t want to be her,” she whispered.
“She was weak…she let herself get too involved and…I don’t want to be her,
Spike,” she repeated as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Taking another step forward, Spike wrapped her in his arms, closing his eyes
when he realized how right this felt…when he realized that Drusilla never
made him feel anything like this.

“It’s okay to be her,” he whispered, feeling her shoulders shake with the
force of her sobs. “I loved her…I love you.”

“But not enough,” she whispered, pulling away and wiping her eyes.

“Buffy-“

“Spike,” she interrupted. “Please take me home…I want to go home.”

Chapter 13:

By Friday, the school was buzzing with excitement for Homecoming. Buffy, on the other hand, was still indecisive about it, even though she knew she was going to go with Angelus. She was excited because it would be her last Homecoming of high school, but after Spike’s revelation on the hill, she didn’t know if she could handle being in a room with both of them at the same time.

‘Undoubtedly, Spike wants to kill Angelus,’ she thought. ‘Because I know I used to want to kill Dru. And now…now I just don’t know.’

When Willow went to Buffy’s locker before lunch, she noticed that her friend seemed deep in thought as she grabbed the things she needed for the afternoon.

“Hey,” she said, leaning on the locker beside Buffy’s. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Buffy answered, looking at Willow, who didn’t seem to believe her at all. “What do you really think of Angelus?”

“Buffy,” Willow said hesitantly, not wanting to upset her friend. “He seems nice, but I…I don’t think he’s good for you. Something seems off with him, and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I just don’t feel comfortable around him.” Buffy sighed and closed her locker. “Why? What’s making you ask me about it? Did something happen with him?”

‘Something’s always happening with him,’ Buffy thought but decided not to answer her question, opting instead to ask her another question.

“Do you think I should break up with him?” she asked, looking at her friend with a sad expression.

“I think you should do whatever makes you happy,” Willow answered. “You’re only this age once, and if you don’t live life like you want to, then what’s the point of living?” Buffy managed a small smile and nodded. “If you’re happy with him and you like him, then I don’t see why you’d dump him. Maybe I read things wrong when I met him. I’m sure I’ll have a whole different opinion of him after Homecoming.”

‘Probably not, but a consoling and open-minded friend is a good one,’ Willow said to herself.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, beginning to walk beside Willow to the cafeteria.

‘Homecoming’s going to change things, isn’t it?’ she thought, her shoulders dropping and a frown settling over her features.

* * * * *

That night, Buffy went to the Bronze and met up with Faith after spending an hour of getting ready and arguing with her mother about her clothes.

‘I’ve been dressing like this for months now,’ Buffy thought as she walked into the club. ‘When is she going to lay off and let it go already?’ She saw Faith by the bar and walked over to her.

“Hey, Faith,” she smiled, happy to see her friend again after a long time of not even talking to her.

“Hey, B,” Faith replied, handing Buffy a cup. She raised an eyebrow. “A rum and Coke, one of your favorites.” Buffy smiled and accepted the cup, taking a sip of it. “So, what brings us together tonight?”

“I wanted to talk to you about some…relationship troubles,” Buffy said, carefully phrasing her answer.

“Well, let’s have a seat and figure things out then,” Faith said, walking over to an empty booth against the wall. Buffy sat across from her and took a deep breath. “So, what’s on your mind, blondie?”

“It’s about Angelus,” she said. “And a little about Spike.” Faith sighed and shook her head. “What?”

“Are you still aching for the Billy Idol clone?” she asked, studying the blonde as she looked away.

“More like he’s ‘still aching’ for me,” she answered, and Faith raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Since when?” she asked, surprised at the turn of events.

“He told me the other day,” Buffy answered. “He told me that he wants me back.”

“And how did you reply to that?” Faith asked, tapping her fingers against the side of her glass.

“I told him that I didn’t want to be with him again,” Buffy answered. “I mean, he’s the one who left me for goth-girl, so why the hell should I go back to him? I don’t owe him anything, and I don’t want to be hurt again, especially by him.” She looked down. “But a part of me wanted to cave in, to be with him again.”

“Do you still love him?” Faith asked, drinking from her cup.

“Yes…no…I don’t know,” Buffy said. “He and I were together for so long, so it’s kind of hard not to love him anymore, but then again, he hurt me more than anyone ever has before, so that’s a good enough reason to hate him.” She sighed. “But I don’t. I still care about him, I still get jealous when I see him alone with Dru, and I still worry about him.” She paused, looking up at Faith. “That’s not good, is it?”

“It’s to be expected,” she shrugged. “You haven’t been together in a year, but it’s not like you never see him around. It makes sense that you still dig him- I know most girls in your position would agree with you.”

“But then what do I do about Angelus? He seems like such a great guy,” Buffy said. “He takes care of me, and he can be really sweet, and he’s been nothing but good to me.”

“Do you want to be with him still?” Faith asked, and Buffy hesitantly nodded. “You don’t seem so sure.”

“That’s because I’m not,” Buffy said. “After Spike told me he wants us to be together again, I don’t know how I feel about Angelus. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Has Angelus ever given you a reason to break it off with him?” Faith asked.

‘He let me get really drunk one night and slept with me,’ she thought. ‘That’s a good reason.’ She paused. ‘But other than that, no, not really.’

“No,” she finally answered, and Faith smiled.

“Well, there you go then,” she replied. “Stay with Angelus, and if something makes you change your mind about him, then give him the heave-ho and move on.” Buffy smiled at her friend and nodded. “Now, let’s turn that frown upside down and head to the dance-floor.” The girls got up and walked towards the group of dancing teenagers, letting themselves dance and be free of their thoughts for a while.

* * * * *

Spike watched from the balcony as Buffy and Faith walked to the bar, both of them getting their fourth drink of the night. He wanted to give Buffy the benefit of the doubt, but then he remembered what Willow had said about Buffy drinking a lot more. He took a deep breath and walked downstairs, heading to the bar. Before Buffy could take her drink from the bartender, Spike stepped in and grabbed it, holding it away from her. She stared at him.

“Spike?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. He saw that her eyes were glassy and knew right away that she wasn’t quite herself.

‘Of course she’s drunk,’ he thought. ‘It seems like she’s always drunk when she’s with this Faith chit.’

“Come on, Buffy,” he said, grabbing her arm. “I’m taking you home.” She wrenched her arm free of his grasp and pushed him away from her.

“I’m staying right here,” she replied. “I’m happy here. Aren’t I, Faith?”

“Yeah,” Faith said, stepping forward. “She’s staying with me, Billy. Got it?”

“No, I’m taking her home,” he said sharply, crossing his arms. “Can’t you see that she’s drunk?”

“What? I’m not drunk,” Buffy replied, giggling. “I’m just a tiny bit tipsy, is all.”

“Yeah, you’re on the right path to being pissed,” Spike said, grabbing her arm again.

“What’re you talking about? I’m not pissed- I’m happy,” Buffy said, giggling again.

“I didn’t mean pissed off- I meant drunk,” Spike said, frowning when she pushed him.

“Go away,” she said. “Run along to your precious Drusilla.” Buffy looked around the club. “Where is she? The queen of Skanktown didn’t come with you?” She grinned. “Wow, Spike, you’re really great with women.” He clenched his jaw. “Come on, Faith, I like this song.” She pulled her friend back to the dance-floor, and Spike watched them, even angrier than he was when he first came over to her.

‘God, it was never supposed to be this way,’ he thought before turning on his heel and storming out of the club. ‘But if this is how she wants to play the game, then I’ll let her…but not without cheating.’

Chapter 14:

Stumbling out of the club a few hours later, Buffy blinked several times,
trying to focus her eyesight as she reached for the brick wall to balance
herself. Faith had taken off with some guy over an hour ago, and now Buffy
was on her own to find her way home.

Taking several deep breaths, she walked slowly through the alley, deciding
that Angelus’ place was closer and she wouldn’t run the risk of getting
yelled at for walking in drunk.

‘I’ll go there,’ Buffy thought, swaying dizzily on her feet before sliding
down to the sidewalk. ‘As soon as I take a little rest…just for a minute.’

“Come on, luv. Up you go.”

Feeling herself hauled to her feet, Buffy spun around, losing her balance in
the process and clutching at the soft leather she came in contact with.
“Spike?” she asked in confusion, holding the lapels of his jacket.

“Yeah, sweetheart…it’s me.”

“I thought you left,” she murmured, leaning against him as he wrapped
an arm around her shoulders and slowly walked toward the parking lot.

“I thought so, too,” he muttered, his hold on her tightening when he felt
her stumble. “I couldn’t leave you alone…not when you’re like this.”

“Not when I’m like what?” Buffy asked, her foggy brain trying to understand
everything he was saying.

“Drunk off your ass.”

“You used to say I had a cute ass,” she giggled, leaning more heavily on
him.

“And my opinion hasn’t changed.”

Spike stopped when Buffy lost her footing. Waiting until she balanced
again, she reached a hand out and grabbed the wall, bracing herself as
another dizzy spell surrounded her.

“Spike?” she whispered, leaning against the bricks and letting her eyes
drift shut. “Who are you?”

“You know who I am, luv. You’ve known me for years,” he murmured, standing
in front of her and holding her upright.

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “I mean, who is ‘Spike’? I don’t know
him- I know William. Why aren’t you ‘William’ anymore?”

“The same reason you aren’t Buffy anymore.”

Buffy giggled at his reasoning. “Silly boy,” she said, punching him on his
shoulder. “I am Buffy.”

“But you’re not the same…I guess we both grew up.”

“Grew apart,” she corrected with a frown, becoming a little more focused on
the conversation as her good mood seemed to evaporate. ‘Am I dreaming?’ she
wondered as she looked into his concerned eyes

“I guess so,” he whispered, seeing her eyes focus a little more before they
began to tear up.

“I loved you, William,” she said in a choked voice, talking to the man in
front of her as he faded in and out of her eyesight. “I loved you, so
much…why did you hurt me? Why didn’t you stay with me? I would have given
you everything…I would have given you anything you wanted.”

Spike took several deep breaths as his own eyes began to water. “I’m sorry, Buffy,” he said softly, pulling her into his arms when she began to cry. “I never wanted to hurt you…never.”

“I felt like I was dying…I woke up everyday and I couldn’t breathe. I just
missed you so much.”

“Is that why you did this?” he asked, pulling away from her slightly as he
gestured at the leather pants and red halter that she was wearing.

“I don’t know why I did this,” she replied honestly. “Maybe I just wanted
to be the kind of girl that guys would want to be with instead of being the
one that they wanted to get away from.”

“I didn’t want to get away from you,” Spike said, his brow furrowed.

“Yes, you did,” Buffy said miserably as her head began spinning from the
effects of the alcohol. “Everyone always wants to get away from me. My
Dad, you…even my mom doesn’t like me anymore.”

“That’s not true, luv. Your mum loves you.” His eyes widened as an idea
hit him. Seeing an opportunity to get the truth out of her instead of a
sugar-coated lie, Spike pulled back to look in her eyes. “Are you with
Angelus because he wants to be with you?”

“Isn’t that a good enough reason?” she asked as if it was the most natural
response in the world before leaning her head back against the wall.

Narrowing his eyes, Spike studied her for a moment before speaking. “Did he
take advantage of you, Buffy?”

“What? Of course not,” she replied indignantly, her eyes opening a little
wider to focus on him.

“He did, didn’t he?” Spike growled, his eyes flashing with repressed anger.

“No,” Buffy said, shaking her head before letting it fall against Spike’s
chest in exhaustion. “I went back to his place and…”

Spike felt his heart clench and his stomach drop as he wrapped his arms
around her small form. “And what?”

“I don’t remember after that,” she murmured in a tired voice. “I woke up in
his bed. I don’t remember anything.”

“That son of a bitch!” Spike yelled, briefly considering letting go of Buffy
and tracking down the wanker before settling on slamming his fist into the
wall in front of him. He was surprised that he didn’t scare Buffy in the
process, but she stayed where she was.

“Spike,” Buffy whispered, her soft-spoken voice keeping him grounded in
reality. “He’s been a perfect gentleman ever since that night.”

“Ever since he raped you?!”

“He didn’t!” she yelled indignantly, pushing away from him and stumbling
down the sidewalk.

Spike chased after her, grabbing her arm to steady her when she tripped.
“Buffy, he got you drunk and-”

“No!” Buffy cried, turning around and hitting his chest with her small
fists. “He didn’t! It…it wasn’t like that…he…”

“I know you don’t want to hear this.”

“You’re right,” she muttered, her head spinning as she tried to focus on
him. “I don’t. I want to get out of here.”

“I’ll take you home.”

“No, I can’t go home,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m going to Angelus’.”

“The hell you are,” Spike replied, picking her up and walking toward his
car. “You can’t go home and that’s fine, but I’ll be damned if I leave you
with that pillock for him to…”

Buffy didn’t say anything as she let her head fall to his chest, exhaustion
taking precedent over everything. She was asleep before Spike even put her
in the car.

Chapter 15:

When Buffy woke up, she slowly opened her eyes and noticed that she wasn’t in her room, but it wasn’t unfamiliar to her. She started looking at particular things and frowned before becoming nauseous.

‘Why the hell am I in William’s bedroom?’ she asked herself, slowly sitting up before laying back down again, shutting her eyes and groaning. ‘And I’ve got such a hangover. I can’t believe I let something like this happen twice. Mental note- stop drinking so much.’ She paused, sighing. ‘And why am I alone?’ She opened her eyes again and turned on her side, looking at the clock on his bedside table. ‘It’s ten o’clock? Great, this will be fun to explain to Mom. And Homecoming is tonight.’ She began rubbing her temples, hoping that her headache would subside by the time she had to get ready for the dance.

The door slowly opened, and Spike walked into the room, holding a glass of water and aspirin. He closed the door with his foot and walked to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and looking at her.

“Hey, luv,” he said quietly, handing her the aspirin. “Take these and drink up.” She popped the pills in her mouth before grabbing the glass of water and drinking most of it.

“Thank you,” she said, handing him back the glass. “What happened? Why am I here?”

‘She doesn’t remember, does she?’ he thought, frowning. ‘What do I tell her?’

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked, running his hand over her hair.

“I remember Faith leaving with some guy and me stumbling out of the club,” she answered. “But that’s about it.”

“I was outside and saw you walking out, so I stepped in and brought you here,” he said. “I didn’t think Joyce would like you walking home alone, especially as drunk as you were.”

“Did anything happen, though?” she asked sadly, looking up at him.

“No, nothing happened,” he answered. “We talked, I brought you here, and you crashed on my bed.”

“Where were you?” she asked curiously.

“I slept on the couch,” he shrugged. “Thought it’d be easier for you. And I didn’t fancy you smacking me when you woke up.” She managed a small smile and looked away. “Why would you think that something happened? Because something happened with you and Angelus when you were drunk?” Her eyes widened.

“How did you know that?” she asked. He looked at her, frowning.

“Because you told me all about it last night,” he answered. She blushed, looking down.

“What did I tell you?” she asked quietly, angry that she couldn’t remember and that she had told him about the situation in the first place.

“That he got you drunk and slept with you,” he answered, trying to stay calm, even though he was becoming angry again at the mere thought of another man touching her, let alone sleeping with her when she was drunk and probably didn’t consent to it.

“I was drunk to begin with,” she said, closing her eyes. “It’s my fault, not his.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, it is his fault,” he said sternly. “He shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that, Buffy.” She looked at him.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand,” she said firmly, managing to stand up. He got up, too, and blocked the door. “Move, Spike. I need to go home.”

“No, you don’t,” he said. “I called Willow and had her call your mum to tell her that you stayed there last night so that Joyce wouldn’t be worried about you.”

‘He did that for me?’ she thought, surprised. ‘He really must care.’

“Spike, just let me leave,” she said, grabbing the doorknob. He put his hand on hers and looked into her eyes.

“I can’t let you stay with a guy like him, pet,” he said. “I can’t watch you be hurt.”

“Why? You did it to me once- was that too hard to watch, too? Because maybe you shouldn’t have done it then,” she said, pulling her hand away from his. “I have to go. I need to rest and get ready for the dance tonight.”

“If I see him there, I’m stepping in,” Spike said, his gaze intense.

“If you come near him, you’ll have to deal with me, and you know I have so much blackmail against you that I could ruin you for life,” Buffy said sharply, crossing her arms.

“Yeah? Give me an example,” he said, looking at her, intrigued.

“You cry during ‘Casper’,” she said, grinning mischievously. His eyes widened. “Let me leave.”

“I’m not kidding- I’m going to have a nice chat with him if he shows up with you tonight.”

“And I’ll tell the whole school that you wet the bed until you were seven,” she replied. His jaw dropped, his anger raging even more inside of him.

“I did not!” Spike said loudly.

“Yeah, but people would believe me,” she said, smiling at him. “Don’t come near him or me tonight. Got it?” He shook his head and slowly opened the door for her.

“You know I’m not going to let him keep you without a fight,” he said, looking at her. She sighed and nodded.

“I know,” she replied. “But you’re not going to win.” He watched her walk downstairs and through the front door.

“That bloody bint is going to be the death of me,” he said quietly.

* * * * *

When Buffy got home, she was thankful that her mom had already left for work. Walking up to her room, she grabbed her cordless phone before going into her bathroom and drawing a bath for herself. After pouring in liberal amounts of bubble bath and getting settled in the tub, she dialed Willow’s phone number, deciding that telling her friend the truth about things would alleviate a lot of the worry swirling around inside of her. After Willow answered, Buffy took a deep breath and tried to sound upbeat.

‘God knows she’s already jumping to conclusions about things,’ she thought. ‘I know I would be, too.’

“Hi, Willow,” Buffy said quietly. Willow was surprised to hear her friend’s voice but was glad to hear that she was okay.

“Buffy!” Willow replied. “Is everything okay? Spike said you were fine, but the fact that he was the one telling me that really threw me off. What happened?!”

“I got drunk at the Bronze, and Spike took me home with him,” she answered. “I don’t remember any details, but he kept me there so Mom wouldn’t find out I was drunk. That’s why he enlisted your help…did my mom believe you?”

“I think so,” Willow answered, frowning. “I told her that we went to the Bronze and that you fell asleep at my house. She was worried, but I think after talking to me, she stopped being so panicked…I don’t like lying to your mom, Buffy.”

“I know,” Buffy said quietly. “But I can’t thank you enough for it. You and Spike really saved my ass last night.”

“And not that I mind helping you because I really don’t, but you need to be careful,” Willow replied. “Buffy and alcohol have always been unmixy things, and I’m afraid something’s going to happen one day if you push it too far.”

‘Something did happen,’ Buffy thought, instantly remembering that Spike knew the story behind her first time with Angelus. ‘I really need to stop drinking.’

“I know,” Buffy said finally. “I’m going to try to be better, Willow, I really am. I just need to figure things out for myself.”

“And I’ll help you any way that I can,” Willow promised, getting Buffy to smile.

“Friends forever, right?” she asked, happy that things were starting to seem better for her, even though the Angel and Spike situation was still looming around her. Willow’s voice cut into her thoughts, affirming Buffy’s worries about their friendship.

“Forever,” Willow agreed.
* * * * *