Chapter Thirty Nine.

Devils ‘n’ Angels.


Spike and Luke waited for the guard to open up the last security door to admit them into the holding rooms. Spike had been in a mood all morning and Luke figured Buffy must have given him a hard time last night. Still, that wasn’t his problem. Spike was man enough to sort out his own domestic worries, and at least it looked as if Spike had learned some lessons from his experience with Drusilla and wasn’t letting Buffy lead him around by the balls. Luke pushed his boss’s bad mood out of his head and turned his attention to business.


He unlocked the door and let Spike enter the room. Gilbey was sitting up on the small bed in a corner of the room. He struggled to get up when he saw Spike. Spike waved him back down and looked over his shoulder at Luke, giving him a nod of dismissal. When the door closed behind him, Spike looked at Gilbey. He looked like shit. He was holding his right side where Spike guessed, he must have had a couple of busted ribs. His face was swollen and bruised and he had a black eye. Spike was certain there were a lot more bruises under his shirt.


“You know why I did it…don’t you?” he asked coldly.


Gilbey nodded.


Spike sneered at him. “It was bad enough what you did to that kid, that whore, but you know Buffy’s off limits. I told everyone that the first day she was to be treated with respect. That’s why I had you all callin’ her Ms. Summers.” He sighed as he paced the floor, his stride angry and sharp. “She’s mine, and that means no one looks or speaks to her the wrong way, and no one touches her. I think I made that pretty clear from the beginning. Now you know I ‘ave a quick temper, but last night wasn’t the first time I caught you starin’ at her-”


Gilbey opened his mouth to say something, but Spike held up a hand stopping him.


“SHUT UP! Don’t even try to deny it. I’ve seen you,” Spike was breathing hard. Suddenly, he stopped pacing. He slowly lowered himself into a chair and casually lit a cigarette, deliberately calming himself. “If I catch you lookin’ at her the wrong way again, I’ll burn your fuckin’ eyes out. If you talk to her the wrong way, I’ll cut your tongue out and if you ever touch her…” Spike took a long drag of his cigarette. He left the sentence unfinished, the implication hanging clear between them.


Gilbey stared at his boss relieved he was getting a warning, which meant the little bitch had kept her mouth shut. Otherwise Spike wouldn’t be talking and Gilbey knew it.


Gilbey nodded his head and rasped. “I understand and I apologize for having offended you boss, it won’t happen again.”


Spike’s eyes narrowed as he gazed at Gilbey, a look of pure hatred flashing in his eyes. Gilbey swallowed nervously.


“If you were in my place and someone looked at your girl the wrong way what would you do?” Spike asked.


“I’d beat some manners into him boss,” Gilbey guessed that’s what Spike wanted to hear.


“And what if they touched her? Hurt her…what would you do then?” Spike’s tone was cold.


Gilbey had a moment of doubt. He knew Spike would read a great deal into his hesitation to answer, and because he didn’t want to give himself away, he spoke with as much strength and sincerity as he could muster.


“I’d kill him slowly…painfully, boss.”


Spike stared at him, holding him locked with his hard cold eyes for long moments, before nodding his head and standing. “Jus’ remember, you said it.”


He banged on the door twice and Luke opened it. Spike looked back at Gilbey on the bed, his expression relaxed and neutral once again.


“I’m going away for the weekend, be sure you don’t get into any trouble,” he warned and left.


*****


Back outside with Luke he said, “Get him cleaned up and let him go back to work. Tell him I want his reports by three.”


“Yes boss. Do you want me to get him to the doc?”


“He can wait until he’s finished for the day. Let the bastard suffer a bit. He’s quick enough to let others suffer. A taste of his own medicine won’t kill him.”


Spike walked up the corridor and stopped outside Angel’s room. “Okay, open up. I need to talk to this bastard as well.”


Luke followed him to the door.


Spike looked at him. “I want you to clear the crew out of the observation room and stand at the door. I don’t want anyone listenin’ in…understood?”


“Yes, boss. Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll bang on the door to let you know its all clear,” he said, as he unlocked the cell door.


“And don’t let anyone in…and that includes you.”


Luke arched a brow at him. “Yes boss.”


Spike nodded and walked in.


In the last couple of weeks, the room like the man who occupied it had changed quite a bit. Angel was now clean. He was allowed to shower and change everyday and his meals were being alternated, giving him some variety. He was allowed another two hours of darkness in which to sleep and Spike even allowed him a few books and a radio, but the biggest liberty granted was that he was no longer chained to his bed.


Spike looked at the fresh sheets and clean towels sitting on the end of the bed. Angel looked as if he’d just finished in the shower. His hair was still wet and he was rubbing it dry with a towel.


The two men looked at each other. Spike waited for Angel to take a seat before sitting himself.


Angel tossed the damp towel onto the back of a chair, keeping his eyes on the smaller man.


Spike lit another cigarette. He was smoking way too much, he thought. Casually he lounged in the chair, one foot resting on his knee; the picture of relaxed and calm. There was a bang at the door. Angel looked at Spike and arched a brow in question.


Spike wasn’t in the mood to satisfy Angel’s curiosity. “I got Dru into a good clinic. It’s ‘bout the best I could find and I think she’ll be happy there.”


Angel nodded, knowing how hard that must’ve been for Spike to do. “I’m sure you’re right. Given time and the right care she might be alright.”


Spike was surprised by his kind words. He frowned. He didn’t trust the old bastard. “Yeah right…we both know she’ll never be the same again and I still blame you for that.”


“Of course you do, ‘cause you’d never take any responsibility for all the years she never got any help while she was with you. You just kept right on making excuses for her and let her odd behavior slide,” he stated.


Spike glared at him getting riled up. Again, Angel hit too close to the truth, but this was not the time to hash over old ground. “Fine, you want me to say you were right and I was wrong, then I’ll say it,” he spat out.


Angel frowned. It was unheard of for Spike to admit he was in the wrong about anything. Angel glanced at the observation window and knew there was no one there to listen in. That’s what the bang on the door was about. Spike was having someone signal him. Angel glanced at Spike. They exchanged knowing looks.


“What’s this about Spike? You didn’t come here to fill me in on Dru’s condition. What’d you want?” he asked, settling into a relaxed pose of his own.


“Buffy.”


Angel was puzzled. “I’m confused, are you saying this is about Buffy or you want Buffy?”


“Both really, I want her, and in that there’s no question. She is mine, but I want to know why you left? What did you do that made her ask you to leave?” Spike watched Angel carefully for any hint he was getting a reaction, but Angel had retreated, his eyes closed off, his face blank.


Angel moved so suddenly that Spike nearly didn’t have time to defend himself. Angel grabbed him by the throat and pushed him hard against the wall. Spike lashed out with fists and feet. Landing a couple of hard blows to Angel’s jaw and ribs. Angel hit back, but his weeks of inactivity, his lack of sleep and poor diet all worked against him. Spike swiftly gained the advantage. Angel groaned when Spike hit him hard in the stomach, the two of them crashing into the table. Spike flipped Angel face down onto the table and pressed a knee hard into the small of his back. He pulled his knife from his pocket. Angel froze at the sound of the blade flicking open. Spike pressed the cold metal to his neck, drawing blood. He wrestled with Angel’s hands, locking first one then the other into the manacles fixed to the table.


Breathing hard, Spike hissed at him. “It must’ve been very bad if you won’t tell. C’mon Angel what did you do, rape one of her friends? Fuck her mother? You can tell me…it’s not as if you could shock me. I know what you are, what you’re capable of…tell me.”


“Fuck you,” he wheezed.


Spike chuckled. “How like you to offer…you should be careful what you say considerin’ you’re in the perfect position for a good buggerin’ and that’s if I decide it would benefit me in anyway.” Angel struggled under him. Spike pressed the knife closer to his throat and whispered close to his ear. “Oh relax, like I’d be interested in your ass when I’ve got Buffy’s.”


Angel growled. “You better not be saying what I think you’re saying.”


“And what’s that mate?”


“That you’ve defiled her…forced her to accept that from you,” he spat.


Spike chuckled. “You’re such a fuckin’ hypocrite. How the hell can you say that to me when I’ve witnessed the things you’ve done?” Shifting slightly so Angel could see him he said, “The first time on my fingers she moaned and purred like a little kitten. The first time with a toy, I couldn’t hold her up once she started screaming. What’d you think she was like with the real deal?” He taunted, knowing the lie would tear Angel apart.


“YOU FUCKING BASTARD…WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU,” he yelled, pulling and twisting his hands in the manacles. “We both know I won’t be here forever. If Masters wanted me dead, I wouldn’t have made it out of Spain. When I’m out, you’ll pay for this. Even if it takes me years, I’ll make you pay for what you’ve done to Buffy,” he said with malice.


“And what makes you think she didn’t agree to it?” Angel glared at him from his position on the table scowling. “Believe me I asked her permission. Told her I wanted to try something new. She was only too willing and if I say so myself, she enjoyed it immensely.”


He moved off Angel and removed the knife, leaving him hanging awkwardly on the table. Spike picked up his chair and positioned it in front of Angel. This was getting him no where.


“Today must be a red letter day, ‘cause yet again, I’ll admit you’re right. You won’t be ‘ere forever. Masters will want you back,” Spike casually brushed dust from their scuffle off his clothes. “And he’s already told me what he wants me to do with Buffy.” Angel’s head shot up and he glared at him. “Masters thinks she’s responsible for your defection. He thinks you’ll be too distracted if she’s allowed to roam around free. He doesn’t trust you to not try this again and he thinks the only way to ensure your good behavior is to either kill her or keep her himself and we both know what that means.”


Angel was frowning. His eyes dancing from one point of focus to another as he thought over what Spike was telling him.


Spike pushed on. “Now I reckon he’ll take one look at her and decide she’s worth keeping, but at least she’s not dead…right?”


Angry, Angel spat. “Get to the fucking point Spike.”


Spike arched a brow at him a reasonable look on his face. “I could make sure that Masters doesn’t get his hands on her.”


“How?”


“Masters promised me I could name my own reward if I brought you back. I could name Buffy as my reward, which would keep her alive and out of his hands. Masters won’t be able to refuse me. He gave me his word, but I told Buffy I’d only do it if she was willin’ to be with me of her own free will.”


“What did she say?” Spike smiled. He could see the pain in Angel’s eyes.


“She agreed.”


Angel closed his eyes, shutting out the anguish that flooded them.


“Would you rather I sent her to Masters?”


“NO! God no.”


“You know what he does to women. Do you think she’d survive that, and that’s if he likes her? Buffy would fight him and that would make it worse. He’d make her suffer for her part in your defection and-”


“Fucking hell! I said NO! SHUT UP, CAN’T YOU,” Angel yelled.


“Then you agree, she’d be better off ‘ere with me?”


“Do you really think Masters will let you keep her?”


“Yes…he gave me his word.”


“Then what the fuck do you want from me…my blessing?”


Spike scoffed at the notion. “Not likely mate, but I want to know if I’m going to tie my life to her, she’s not in love with you,” Angel frowned. “I loved Dru, but she loved you. I won’t put myself through that again. I’d rather see Buffy burn in hell than give her to Masters, but I’ll deliver her to him myself if she’s lied to me.”


“Lied! What’d you think she lied about?”


“She told me she wasn’t in love with you. She let slip that you’d done somethin’ that caused her to fall out of love with you. She said she sent you away, but when she realized what she was sayin’ she stopped and I never found out what was the cause of her change of heart. Now I’m askin’ you…what did you do?”


“And you think if I tell you that will be enough to convince you she’s not in love with me?”


Spike nodded.


“And what’s she done or said to make you think she was lying?”


Spike silently lit another cigarette and gazed steadily at Angel.


Angel sighed and looked at Spike. “She’s not in love with me and she’s not a liar. As to what I did, I’ll never tell you without her permission. I gave her my word I’d never tell, and if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll keep that promise. It’s the only thing I can do for her.” Angel shifted restlessly on the table, trying to ease the pain in his lower back. “So if you want to know…you bring her here and let me hear from her own mouth that she wants me to tell you. If she doesn’t mind me breaking my word, I’ll do it.”


“Do you really expect me to jus’ take your word for it and believe she’s not in love with you?” Spike asked annoyed.


Angel shrugged.


“There’s no way I’d jus’ take your word for anythin’.”


“Then ask her yourself…or...”


Spike leaned forward. “Or what?”


“If you can’t get her to tell you, or she won’t, then there may be another way to convince you she’s not in love with me.” He said hesitantly.


Spike suspected a trick and Angel knew it.


“Why do you want to do this Spike? It would be so much easier to just give her to Masters. Get her and me off your hands. Why complicate your life with another woman who doesn’t love you? Do you hate me that much you’d gain so much pleasure knowing that you have what I love?” Angel asked.


Spike was shocked. He’d never heard Angel speak about anyone in such a way or admit he loved anyone.


Jealously reared its ugly head and cruelly, he twisted the knife. “You know why I’m doing it. I want her and I hate you. Masters will destroy her to control you, but she’ll be safe with me. I’ll look after her. If Masters sees she’s ‘ere with me, submittin’ to me and I convince him that I’m doing it to get at you…to make you toe the line, he’ll let her live and stay ‘ere,” Spike relaxed back in his chair and fixed Angel with a cold triumphant gaze. “Because it will get to you…won’t it Angel? You’ll think ‘bout it constantly. Buffy wrapped in my arms. Lyin’ in my bed with my cock buried deep inside her. You love her, and because you want her to live, you’ll want her to remain out of Masters clutches so you’ll ‘ave to play your part and convince him that Buffy being with me…being my hostage is the worst possible thing in the world for you to bare. Somehow I don’t think you’ll ‘ave to work too hard at it because if you don’t she’ll still be at risk and then…”


Unable to take any more, Angel’s anguished scream cut off his blonde tormenter. “FINE…FUCKING HELL YOU WIN. You know full well I’d rather she be with you than Masters, but I doubt she’ll ever tell you what happened between us and I know she’ll never love you, but if you can live with that just because you want her so badly or want to make me pay so much then that’s up to you. I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you’ll never tell her I broke my promise or give her to Masters.” Angel fixed him with anguished eyes.


“I promise,” Spike replied solemnly.


Angel sighed. “Let me up then.”


Spike unlocked the manacles and shoved a chair in Angel’s direction. Angel sat down and began to tell Spike everything as he shuffled the chair over to the table and leaned against it as if for extra support. As Angel spoke Spike felt his stomach tighten and a cold sweat wash over him as the horror of the story hit him. By the time Angel stopped after only ten minutes Spike wanted to throw up.


He looked at Angel knowing if he was faced with the same situation he would have done things differently. He knew he would never get personally involved. There were people that could be hired. Who for the right price would do whatever was required, but Buffy knew. She’d seen, and Spike couldn’t imagine how that must’ve affected her. It’s no wonder she hates violence…no wonder Gilbey frightened her so much and it makes the things I did to her all the more ugly and cruel. He wondered how he could keep getting it so wrong with her. No wonder Angel decided he’d had enough. In that act of violence he lost the love of the only woman he’d ever loved. It was no wonder he ran. It also explained why he took Dru. Needing an answer Spike asked him about his Book man and the files. Spike wasn’t that surprised by Angel’s answer, but he’d hoped he was wrong. Spike should have known better. Hope had no place in his life. Spike wasn’t sure he would ever be able to make Buffy feel safe, but he’d promised her and he would rather die than let her down.


Angel was looking at him, reading him despite his guarded expression. “Now you know. Now you can see why she doesn’t love me. How could she after that?”


No, Buffy couldn’t possible love Angel, not after that. She’d never love him, but he could still love her and it would at least be easier to commit himself to her knowing her heart was free.


“You won’t tell her?” Angel asked again.


“No I promised, and she’ll never know I know. It’ll never leave this room and we’ll never talk ‘bout it again, but you’ve got to understand that from this moment on she’s mine ‘cause it’s the only way to protect her. When Masters sends for you, you can’t ever try to leave again ‘cause you’ll be condemnin’ her to death if you do.”


Angel nodded.


Spike got up to leave, but Angel called him back. “Can I see her?”


Spike frowned thinking about it. “I’ll bring her by this afternoon.”


“Can I see her alone?”


Spike scowled. “NO,” he snapped.


“Come on Spike she’ll be yours for years. Can’t you give me ten minutes alone with her? Let me be with her just one last time.”


It was the pleading tone that swayed him. After all these years he should be elated he’d reduced Angel to this state, but he wasn’t. All he felt was sick and empty. Was this irony? He wanted to weep.


“Alright, but I’ll be at the window.” He turned to leave, but Angel called him back again.


“Spike wait…” Spike looked at him over his shoulder. “She’s very young and naïve, she’s…so innocent…don’t hurt her. I can live with this, but only if I know you won’t hurt her.”


If Angel had asked for something for himself Spike would’ve dismissed the request. He’d already given him time alone with her, but he wasn’t asking for himself so he chose to answer.


“I know she’s all those things, and I know she’s more. That’s why I want her, but I can’t promise not to hurt her ‘cause I think it’s too late for that, but now I know. I can promise to try to never hurt her like that again. To protect her and treat her gently, I’ll never force her, but we both know how stupid I can be and I might not always get it right with her, but I won’t always get it wrong, but I’ll try. Will that do?”


“Yes.”


Spike banged on the door and left.


*****


Buffy arrived back at the house at two o’clock. Cooper pulled up to the front door just as Spike drove up beside them. He’d clearly just arrived back from somewhere himself.


After the morning she’d had Buffy wasn’t up for a second round with Spike. She wondered if she could plead a headache and escape to lie down for a while. Cooper helped her from the car and called a greeting to Spike. He walked over to them his eyes skimming over her pretty dress and glowing skin and hair.


“Is that new?” he asked.


Buffy glanced down at her maroon dress and frowned at him. “No.”


“But you weren’t wearing it when you left this morning,” he said.


“No, I brought it with me to change into before going to lunch.” She replied. He was still remote and guarded, but she thought his anger appeared to have dissipated.


“Oh.” He looked up at Cooper who was at the trunk unloading the dress case that now held the jeans and top she wore earlier. Spike frowned when Cooper didn’t take anything else out of the trunk. “Where’s the rest…didn’t you go shopping?”


Cooper glanced at Buffy and then at Spike. He arched his brows at Spike and shrugged.


“Yeah we went. I just didn’t see anything I wanted,” Buffy said.


“I see, and what ‘bout the other ladies, did they see anythin’ they wanted?”


Buffy looked at him sharply. “The other ladies found lots of things they wanted,” she said dryly.


Cooper joined them on the steps. Buffy gave him a half smile and relieved him of her dress case. “If you don’t need me I’d like to go and lie down. I feel a headache coming on and I don’t want it to turn into a migraine.”


She stood waiting for permission to be excused. Spike felt his temper rising, but pushed it down ruthlessly. He nodded. “I’ll give you thirty minutes then I’m takin’ you to see Angel,” he ignored her surprised look and turned to Cooper. “Arrange for someone to stand on the door and then you better get going if you want to get those checks done.” Without looking at Buffy again he walked away in the direction of his study.


Cooper guided Buffy to the elevator. Once inside he rang down to the guard quarters and asked them to send someone up to the top floor. He waited with Buffy until Dave knocked on the sitting room door to alert him he was at his post. Cooper turned to Buffy and told her he’d see her later. Once she was alone Buffy made her way to the bedroom. She kicked her shoes off and hung her dress on a hanger before lying down on top of the bed in her cream slip. She pulled a lightweight throw over her legs and hips wondering what Spike was up to. She closed her eyes for a few minutes just to shut out the world for a little while.


*****


Spike ran his hand over her blanket-covered leg waking her. She flinched and pulled her leg away.


“Time to get up,” he said.


She looked at the clock. She’d slept for forty minutes.


“How’s the headache?” he asked.


“Okay.” Buffy slipped off the bed and pulled her dress back on. She could feel his eyes on her. Ignoring him she pushed her feet into her shoes and headed off to the bathroom.


All freshened up she joined him. He was still sitting on the bed waiting for her. Silently he led her to the elevator. She so wanted to ask him what was going on, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was curious.


Without one word being exchanged between them they made their way to Angel’s cell. Luke unlocked the door and retreated into the observation room. Buffy waited for Spike to give her his instructions and was stunned speechless when he said.


“Okay pet…in you go. I’ll be in the observation room.” He took a step back waiting for her to go in.


Buffy blinked at him doubt and puzzlement showing on her pretty face. He took another step back and fear flooded her face. “What…you want me to go in there on my own? You want me to be alone with him?”


Spike frowned at her. “I’ll be in the observation room watchin’…listening.”


“Why…why are you sending me in on my own?” she questioned.


“Angel asked to see you on your own and it jus’ so happened I was in the right mood to grant him his request,” he explained.


Buffy stared at him, her eyes hardening angrily she said. “I don’t want to see him and I certainly don’t want to see him alone.”


Spike knew her angry words shouldn’t make him feel so happy, but they did. No matter what she mumbled in her sleep it was the words she spoke now that truly revealed her feelings and Spike realized she wasn’t angry, but afraid. Shame swamped him and he cursed himself for a jealous fool as he remembered his callous treatment of her at breakfast.


Slowly and gently, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Buffy I gave him my word he could see you on your own. Now I don’t know why you don’t want to see him, but unless you give me a good reason to break my word I won’t change my mind. I promise I’ll be at the window in the observation room, you’ll only be in there for ten minutes and the door will be unlocked. So you can leave any time you want. Luke will stand right outside. You’ll be perfectly safe…I promise…you’ll be safe.”


She shrugged out of his hands. “Why did you give him your word?”


Spike sighed. He could see he needed to give her some kind of explanation. “I gave him my word because it’s probably the last time you’ll see him.”


This was the truth. He’d decided there was no point in the two of them seeing each other again. It only tormented both of them, though for different reasons. Spike didn’t need to throw them together to make Angel suffer. Angel was going to suffer just knowing Buffy was with him.


Buffy’s eyes were round and frightened. Spike realized he’d said the wrong thing. “I don’t mean anythin’ bad is going to happen. Masters hasn’t sent for him yet. Its jus’ I’ve decided it’s unnecessary to keep puttin’ the two of you together it serves no purpose…that’s all pet.”


“What do you mean? I thought you wanted to use me to make him suffer?”


He caught hold of her shoulders again and tugged her further down the corridor away from Angel’s door. Lowering his voice he said, “Listen to me Buffy after tomorrow you’ll be mine and Angel is going to know you’re mine in every sense of the word. From that day on I won’t ‘ave to do anythin’ else to make him suffer ‘cause there’s very little else I could do to him that will make him suffer more.”


She looked shocked. “You’re going to tell him you’ve asked me to be your…your…mistress aren’t you?”


Spike shook his head. “No Buffy. I’ve already told him more or less, but he still needs to hear it from you.”


She gasped. “How can you be this cruel…to him…and me? God I hate you,” she squirmed in his grip.


“Maybe you do, but listen, it’s better this way ‘cause if you tell Angel you’re mine of your own free will, when Masters sends for him he’ll be able to go without havin’ to think Masters will send for you too. Or that you’re in any danger from Masters because you’ll be mine.” Buffy gazed at him with a spark of understanding lighting her eyes. “Now do you see…if you tell him you’re mine he’ll return to Masters safe ‘cause I’ll tell Masters I’ll be holding you as a permanent yet willing hostage to make sure Angel never tries to leave again, each of you safeguarding the other.”


“But what if he does leave?” she asked quietly.


“Angel knows Masters will kill you if he does, but we both know Angel loves you and he would never do anythin’ to hurt you. You’ll be safe. As long as you’re mine willingly I’ll take care of you, keep you safe and protect you.” She looked very doubtful about that, but Spike didn’t have any more time to try and convince her.


He let go of her and asked. “Besides what choice do you ‘ave? It’s me or Masters. If you doubt you’re makin’ the right choice by stayin’ with me why don’t you ask Angel what he thinks you should do?” He stood back giving her room to reach the door.


She hesitated for a moment, then squared her small shoulders and walked into Angel’s room.


Quickly, Spike walked into the observation room instructing Luke to stand outside Angel’s door. Spike made his way to the window. He turned the volume up on the sound control.


Buffy stood facing Angel but, she kept shooting little glances at the window even though from her side all she could see was her own reflection.


She noticed the changes immediately in both Angel and his room. He was smiling at her nervously and she returned the smile weakly.


“Will you sit down?” he asked.


Buffy took the chair he pointed to carefully arranging the skirt of her dress modestly over her knees.


In the observation room Spike smiled at the little unconscious gesture.


“Did Spike tell you he won’t let me see you again?” she said.


“No, but I guessed from the other things he said and because he agreed to let me see you on your own.”


“Oh! What else did he tell you?” She gently tried to ease onto the real topic.


“He told me he would protect you from Masters if you agreed to be with him…of your own free will.” Angel’s voice shook a bit as he said that.


Buffy bit her lip glancing between the window and her ex-lover. “Oh, and do you think he can?”


Angel nodded. “Yes I do.”


She blinked at the conviction in his voice, but she needed more reassurances. “And what makes staying with Spike any different to being sent to Masters? Surely it’s only a matter of location L.A. for New York. One tyrant for another there can’t be that much difference in them?”


Angel swallowed steeling himself for the courage to ask the next question. “Buffy are you asking me if I think you’ll be better off with Spike rather than being sent to Masters?”


She looked at him through her eyelashes. “Yeah I guess I am.”


Angel sighed. He really wanted to kiss her. She looked so beautiful and small, but so terribly lost and frightened. He could never give her what she needed and Masters would destroy her. He couldn’t turn back time and wipe the past away. Spike was her only choice…a poor choice, but all she had. Angel loved her enough to want her to live even if that meant she would belong to Spike and he would never see her again. Or if he did it would only be because Masters wanted to twist the knife in deeper, but if that was the price he’d have to pay just to know she was alive and as safe as was possible then he would pay gladly.


“Then I would have to say without any doubt, you’ll be better off with Spike. He has a temper and can be a moody bastard, but he’ll treat you okay. He was always good to Drusilla and I don’t doubt he’ll be good to you too, whereas to Masters you’ll just be fodder. He’ll use you in ways that won’t kill you, but will break you ten times over. He has no regard for women Buffy; they’re all just meat to him. I can’t begin to describe the horrors he’ll subject and expose you to. No Buffy, there’s no choice. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault and as much as I hate to say it you have to stay with Spike. It’s the only way you’ll be safe.” Angel was gazing at her sadly watching her pretty face absorb his words and settle into a mask of acceptance.


“You do know he wants me to be his…his mistress?” She glanced at the window.


“Yes.”


“Did he tell you that I said I would?” She blushed with shame.


“Yes.”


She hung her head twisting her small fingers on her lap. “Do you hate me for saying yes?”


“No Buffy I could never hate you. You’ve made the right decision. Spike keeps his promises he’ll protect you,” he reassured her.


“What will happen to you…when Masters wants you back? What will he do to you?” She looked at him sadly, her eyes bright with unshed tears.


Angel smiled it was so typical of her to worry about others. “Well that’s the irony Buffy because chances are he’ll do very little. He might lock me up a bit longer…torment me with stories of you or threats against you, but besides that very little. I’m worth more to him alive…living proof no one leaves. He’ll parade me about and generally use me as an example to other members of the family to keep them in line.”


“I see,” she said her voice cracking.


“Don’t worry about me Buffy I’ll be fine. You just worry about yourself. I told you, just do what you have to do to make sure you’re safe and believe me I think you’ve done that.” He wanted her to believe him and he tried to inject as much sincere reason into his tone as he could.


In a little voice she asked. “Aren’t you upset you’ll never see me again?”


“God yes, but I’d rather never see you again than worry about what would happen to you if Masters ever got his hands on you,” he said with honesty and strength.


Tearfully she said, “I see, well it looks like we’ve both made some decisions and now all that’s left is to live with them.” She stood up and so did Angel.


She looked at him nervously and glanced at the window.


“Buffy,” she looked at him. “I know I’ve said it before, but this is the last time we’ll ever be alone together so I want you to know…I’m sorry…sorry for what I did. I was sorry then. I’m sorry now, and I’ll be sorry forever. I didn’t deserve your love. A man like me could never hope to deserve the love of a woman like you and the chances are I would have lost it sooner or later, but I’ll never, never forget that you loved me once.”


There were tears spilling down her face as she rushed to hug him. She clutched him tight crying for the love she’d known…for the love she’d lost and for the love she would never feel again. He raised her chin and gently kissed her lips. Buffy returned the kiss chastely, her tears trickling over her cheeks and splashing onto her maroon dress like drops of blood.


Angel held her tighter for a second whispering in her ear. “Goodbye Buffy, I love you.” And then he released her. Unable to look at him Buffy fled from the room.


Instantly, Spike was by her side, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. Keeping her close to his side he led her from the sub-level and back to their rooms.


*************************************************************
TBC...soon.

 

Chapter Forty.

Butterfly Riot.


Buffy sat sipping the tea Spike had ordered for her. Her tears had dried, leaving her feeling empty and light headed. The meeting with Angel was so much more traumatic than she thought it would be. Her eyes sought out Spike and she wasn’t surprised to find him looking at her, his cool eyes drinking her in. He was on the phone talking in hushed tones.


Putting her tea cup down she went to the bar to see if she could find some painkillers. There was a knock at the door so she diverted from the bar to answer it. It was Luke carrying Spike’s briefcase, closely followed by Jonathan. Buffy ushered them in and continued hunting for painkillers.


She watched Luke carry the case over to Spike and saw Jonathan disappear into the bedroom. Spike hung up and addressed Luke. “Are they all there?”


“All except for Cooper’s,” the big man said.


“That’s fine, Cooper gave me his yesterday. He won’t be submittin’ any more reports. He’s going to be Buffy’s bodyguard permanently. Wesley will be takin’ over his duties.” Spike glanced over at Buffy. She was either hunting for an elusive bottle of booze or painkillers. Spike guessed it was painkillers. “They’re on the third shelf to the left pet,” he called out helpfully.


She went straight to that shelf and smiled with relief when she found them.


Spike asked Luke. “Have you got Gilbey covered?”


“Yeah, though he feels like shit. I doubt he’ll get very far or into too much trouble this weekend.”


“Okay, good. I want you to put a couple of armed men on Angel and escort him to the gym. Give him a couple of hours everyday startin’ today,” Spike thought about that for a moment and then added. “Make that three armed men and you stay with them and you can move him into the bigger room. Give him a TV and a full menu and startin’ tonight, he gets eight hours of darkness.”


Luke arched a brow and glanced at Buffy. She was struggling to open the bottle of painkillers. Luke didn’t need Spike to tell him what Angel’s new and improved conditions were about.


“Yes, boss. Is there anything else?”


Spike was thoughtful. “I can’t think of anything, but you know how to reach me if you ‘ave to.”


Luke nodded his expression bland and unreadable. “Well if that’s all, I’ll go and make those arrangements for Angel,” he smirked at him suddenly and said, “You and Ms. Summers have a…good…er…weekend.”


Spike smirked right back at him. “Oh! We will. Now sod off.”


Luke headed for the door but he stopped in front of Buffy on his way. She jumped slightly when he loomed close to her. Looking up into his blank face, she arched a brow quizzically at him. Slowly, he held out his hand for the bottle of painkillers. With a little frown marring her brow, she placed the bottle in his huge hand. He gave it one sharp twist and handed it back to her.


She blinked at him and the bottle of painkillers. “Er…thank you,” she said hesitantly.


“You’re welcome,” he replied. Buffy was alarmed when he smiled at her and added. “Have a…good weekend Ms. Summers.”


Buffy scowled at him. She was sure he was making a joke at her expense. “Yeah…you too,” she said sarcastically.


He seemed to find that funny and chuckled as he left. Buffy had serious doubts about ‘Mr Blank ‘n’ Glary’ and she still couldn’t believe Faith was sleeping with him YUK! Shaking her head, she emptied out a couple of the pills into her hand and swallowed them down, not noticing Spike’s amused grin.


Jonathan came out of the bedroom, carrying two weekend suitcases. Buffy looked at them and then at Spike, puzzled.


Spike smiled at her. “I hope you like surprises.”


“Huh!” she said eloquently.


Spike chuckled at the expression on her face. “Don’t worry luv. It’s a nice surprise,” he said taking the bottle of painkillers out of her hand and maneuvering her towards the bedroom. “I’m takin’ you away for the weekend. Now Jonathan’s already packed your clothes, but you might want to grab you’re toiletries and girly bits, ‘cause there’s was no way I’d let little Jonathan riffle around in your knickers drawer.”


She stammered. “Where are we going?”


“To a pretty little cabin that sits right on the shore of a beautiful lake up in the mountains…you jus’ wait and see you’ll love it,” he said cryptically.


“That still doesn’t tell me where we’re going,” she protested.


“Ah, well the locations a secret for now.” She frowned at that. “Now if we want to get there before midnight, we need to hurry it up a bit.” He was packing his own personal things as he spoke.


He noticed she wasn’t moving and looked at her.


“It’s going to take that long to drive there?” Surprise colored her voice.


Spike chuckled. “No luv I was exaggerating, it’ll only take us an hour or so. We’re not drivin’ we’re flying. Now hurry up.” He returned to packing his things into a small over night case explaining, “Cooper will be waitin’ at the airfield. He went ahead to do the checks on the plane.”


In a daze, Buffy collected her things and five minutes later, her bag was packed and sitting next to Spikes.


He cast a critical eye over her clothes. “It might be a good idea to change into somethin’ a bit warmer. The nights tend to be cold up in the mountains, even during this time of the year. Jeans and a sweater will be fine.”


Still dazed, she went to change.


*****


Cooper was waiting for them next to an impressive jet plane. Buffy’s eyes nearly bugged out when she first saw it. Spike explained the jet was his own private plane and that Cooper was going to do the flying. He laughed when she exclaimed her shock from that bit of information. She was even more shocked when he told her he and all of his men were all fully qualified pilots.


“If you want to learn, I’m a qualified instructor. I’d be happy to give you lessons,” he said as he helped her on board.


Buffy stared at him and made some noise he thought might be a yes. He chuckled. Cooper loaded their luggage on board and prepared for takeoff. Spike and Buffy sat in the luxury lounge cabin, strapped into their seats. Poor Buffy’s nerves were dancing in her stomach. She wasn’t used to flying and confessed to Spike she’d only ever flown twice before, once to her grandfather’s funeral and the other time to Mexico and both times the planes were much bigger.


Spike chuckled when she gripped his hand nervously as the jet powered up for takeoff. She maintained her strong grip until they were airborne, and it was only when Spike pried her hand from his to fetch them both a drink that she began to relax.


Sitting down Spike passed her a can of soda and smiled at her reassuringly. “Don’t worry luv, you’ll get used to it. Jus’ like everythin’…do it often enough…it becomes less frightening.” He took the can out of her hand and placed it on the table beside him. He tugged her upright. “C’mon I’ll show you around.”


The jet was impressive. Or it was to Buffy. The main lounge where they were sitting could accommodate twelve people and there was a bar. Buffy rolled her eyes and thought, of course there’s a bar. Spike showed her the galley. It was fully equipped and she could well imagine it was more than adequate to cater to everyone’s needs. The small bathrooms were both just bathrooms, pretty basic yet, both very stylish and modern.


She was surprised when Spike led her into a plush bedroom towards the rear of the plane. He quickly hustled her into the surprisingly large bedroom and shut the door.


“Come look at this luv,” he said as he walked her backwards to the bed. The back of her knees hit the bed and she sat heavily. Spike smirked at her and pressed a button on the bedside table. Buffy yelped as the bed started vibrating.


Spike laughed at her shocked expression. “I bought this jet from a Greek playboy, and I ‘ave to say I hated the bed when I first got it, but it’s grown on me since.” He kicked off his shoes and climbed up behind her.


Buffy braced her hands braced on either side of her as the bed jiggled her about. Spike grabbed her around the waist and pulled her backwards. He laughed at her wide-eyed look.


“Oh God! Turn it off. I think I’m going to be sick.” She moaned, struggling to get up.


Spike let her up and she quickly jumped off the bed. He reached for the controls and turned it off, chuckling at her. “There you go pet, all safe.” He patted the spot next to him.


Buffy scowled at him and headed for the door, but Spike beat her to it. He slammed it shut just as she was pulling it open. “Now where do you think you’re going sweet’eart?”


“Back to my seat,” she replied.


He slid between her and the door. “Why sit when you can lie?” he whispered, scanning her flushed face.


Angry, Buffy snapped. “Oh! No you don’t. Not after the way you treated me this morning and I still don’t know why.”


He took in her angry eyes and knew she was right. Spike was learning Buffy was nothing like Drusilla, who would quickly forget by the afternoon if they had a row in the morning.


Sighing, he said. “And yet again, you’re right. I was in a foul mood this mornin’ and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”


“That’s it, you’re sorry,” she said dryly.


Spike didn’t want to admit to her what his mood had been about, but neither did he want her mad at him all weekend, not this weekend. He took her hand and led her back to the lounge.


“I’m more than sorry Buffy. I was being stupid…I got it wrong as usual and I’m sorry to say you pushed all the wrong buttons and I snapped back. Which of course was the wrong thing to do, now if you think my apology is inadequate then I’m not sure what I can do to persuade you of my sincerity,” he said, gazing into her eyes.


Buffy sighed, but she was still fuming. He’d been mean and cruel, but she was grateful his unexplained mood was over. She was tired from the poor night’s sleep on the couch and incredibly wound up from the emotional events of the day. It had started with his mood only to slide into the tiff she had with Faith, and finally a tearful and painful goodbye with Angel. She looked at Spike. He looked so hopeful and he had apologized. Angel had finally confirmed what she already knew in her heart. She would be safer and better off being with Spike.


She sighed. “I didn’t get a very good night’s sleep…would you mind if I lay down?”


“Of course not pet. We’ll be landin’ in ‘bout forty five minutes…I’ll come and get you in time to buckle in.” He brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.


She caught his hand and tugged him along with her. “Come with me,” she said.


“Oh I will luv…that’s a promise,” he smirked.


Blushing, Buffy rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”


“I know luv. I jus’ couldn’t resist teasin’ you. I’m sorry…I’ll behave,” he promised.


“You better, because I really do want to rest,” she warned him as she pushed open the bedroom door.


They climbed on top of the bed. Spike wrapped Buffy in his arms and breathed a sigh of relief, thankful she was back where she belonged.


Buffy laid on the bed next to Spike, thinking over the tumultuous events of the day. She was trying to come to terms with the truths Faith had so coldly pointed out to her and the truths Angel had confirmed. She was Spike’s. Whether he wanted to think of her as his mistress or not didn’t matter. She was still just another whore. Faith and the girls knew it. So did Spike’s men and even Angel. She was the one in denial, but that was about to end. Spike was bringing her to this cabin to consummate the relationship. What should have been a romantic little break for a happy couple was nothing more than the sealing of a mutual agreement, a business transaction. She got to live and Spike got a mistress. Nothing more than an exchange of services and the bonus was, she got paid for it. She had a fat bank account, more clothes than she could hope to wear in a year and a beautiful house to live in. Spike even provided her with a source of daily activity so she wouldn’t get bored. Yep, Buffy’s life was pretty well set up. Now all she needed to do was sign on the dotted line and she was sold.


*****


The drive from the airfield to the cabin took less than half an hour, but it was full dark by the time Cooper pulled up outside the cabin. Buffy nearly laughed. Is this what he calls a cabin? She wondered. The cabin was easily twice as big as her mother’s four-bedroom house. Spike told her there were nine bedrooms in total and the cabin boasted a small gym, sauna and hot tub as well as a game room and mini cinema. Buffy just shook her head, overwhelmed by the display of wealth.


Cooper carried their bags in and before Buffy had a chance to realize what was going on he shouted a friendly goodbye and was driving off into the dark. Buffy looked at Spike a riot of butterflies taking flight in her stomach as she realised she was truly alone with him for the first time.


He picked up their suitcases and asked her to grab the smaller bags and follow him. He led her up a beautiful rustic open staircase to the first floor and along a wide landing to the door at the end. Opening the door with his elbow, Spike nudged his way into the master bedroom.


Buffy nervously followed him into the room. He put the bags down at the end of the beautiful four-poster bed. Buffy gazed at the room. It was stunning. Striped floors and half paneling in a lovely honey gold pine covered the floors and walls. The top half of the room was painted a pretty peach color and the large picture windows were dressed with snow white lace nets and simple peach drapes. Colorful rugs in shades of green and peach were scattered on the floor, but it was the bed that took center stage. It was made of the same honey gold pine as the floors and paneling and it was dressed with the same snowy white lace as the windows. The snowy fabric fell in soft folds from the top edge of the bed and down the posts to swirl on the floor like melting snowballs. Buffy’s eyes were drawn to the soft rich velvet bedspread covering the bed. Her fingers itched to touch the lush golden peach fabric.


Spike drew her attention to the bathroom. It was decorated in the same colors as the bedroom. There was a tiled platform to step onto to access the sunken oval bath. Buffy couldn’t help staring. She’d never seen a bathtub big enough to fit four people.


Spike noticed a slow blush creep up her face as she stared at the bath and guessed she was having naughty thoughts. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.


She looked startled. Her eyes flitting from one point of focus to another, but not once did she look at him. Spike knew she was feeling nervous and knew if he didn’t help her take her mind off things, she would soon start to put up defenses and withdraw from him. The last thing he wanted to do was spend the weekend coaxing her to just let him near her. She needed distracting.


“Let’s go take a look at the kitchen and see what Mrs. Bruner left for us.” He moved her back onto the landing and away from the bedroom.


“Who’s Mrs. Bruner?” she asked, relieved to be out of the daunting room.


“She’s the housekeeper. She and her husband maintain the place for me. They keep the repairs up and generally look after things,” he explained.


“Is the cabin yours then?”


“Yeah, do you like it?” He could see she did. She was looking around at all the different features with admiration lighting her pretty eyes.


“Yes, it’s beautiful. Have you had it long?” She was trying to look at the views outside, but it was too dark to see anything clearly.


“No. I bought it ‘bout a year or so ago. The lads and I were travellin’ through on a job and we needed somewhere quiet to stay for a few days. Then we stumbled across this place. It was up for rent at the time and I loved it on first sight. I persuaded the owners to sell it.” They were in the kitchen now and Spike was opening cupboards and cabinets, checking out their contents. “It was an impulse buy, and I didn’t think I’d really get the chance to spend any time ‘ere since it was on this side of the country, but then things changed and I’m ‘ere permanently now, so it looks like I’ll be spendin’ a lot of time ‘ere.”


He turned his gaze away from the cupboard and looked at her with a light in his eyes. Buffy stepped back quickly, but he caught her and pulled her near. “We’ll be spendin’ a lot of time ‘ere. We can come up as much as work allows…get away from the mansion and the men. We can even invite your mum and sis to spend a bit of time with us or even your little pals if you like,” he brushed a hand over her hair. “But not your girlfriends ‘cause their connected with work and I don’t want to ‘ave anythin’ to do with them. That’s not to say you can’t see them when you want to.” He kissed her on the cheek and smoothed her hair back from her neck to nuzzle her warm skin.


He chuckled when he heard her stomach rumble. “Are you hungry baby?” He kissed her neck.


She squirmed in his arms, her heart pounding. “Er…yeah a bit. Did you find anything we can have – OUCH!” she yelped when he bit down on her neck. She glared at him, her hand flying to the sore spot.


“Yep, I found something,” he chuckled, playfully grabbing her. She shot him an angry look and tried to push him away. “I’m sorry baby I couldn’t resist. Your neck looked so tasty and I’m pretty hungry too.” He pried her hand away from her neck and kissed the little pink wound.


She pushed harder until she got him to ease up. “Well don’t you think it would be better if we cooked then?”


Spike could see from the stern look on her face he wasn’t going to get any fun just yet. Sighing, he said. “Can’t jus’ yet pet I need to do a few checks on the place. Check the security and make a few calls. Can you give me half an hour?”


“No, but I can cook while you do your checks and stuff.” The butterflies in her stomach were on the move again and Buffy figured food might help settle them. Besides, she needed a distraction and it would give her some time to herself.


“Okay, if you think you can manage. Don’t worry ‘bout what to cook anythin’ will do.”


She shooed him out of the kitchen and told him she would call when she got everything ready. He laughed at her angry scowl and stole one last swift kiss before she banished him from the room.


*****


Buffy reminded herself to thank Mrs. Bruner. The housekeeper had made preparing their first meal so much easier by providing them with a home-cooked lasagna. Buffy found the dish with a friendly note and heating instructions in the fridge. Mrs. Bruner explained she’d cooked it in advance just in case they were too tired to prepare anything for themselves. Buffy smiled appreciatively at the woman’s thoughtfulness and placed the dish in the oven to reheat then prepared a salad and some garlic bread to go along with the meal. A little hunt around the kitchen revealed the flat wear and cutlery as well as a large selection of wine. She debated whether or not to open a bottle to go along with their meal and decided it might help those butterflies to settle down or help her relax, either of which would be good.


She set the table in the small dinning room. The kitchen seemed too big for just the two of them to dine in. This room was much cozier and though she couldn’t see the lake, Spike told her it gave great views of both the woods and the water.


She laughed when he complimented her on the lasagna and explained that although she could cook her own, she wasn’t responsible for this one. She laughed again when he said he thought the salad tasted better anyway as he helped himself to more lasagna.


Throughout dinner, Spike watched her carefully. In part, because he couldn’t take his eyes off her and because he could see she was jittery and nervous. She refilled her wine glass twice before Spike moved the bottle out of her reach, arching a knowing brow at her. He chuckled at her pained expression, thinking how lovely she looked when she was trying to think her way out of something. A small frown marred her brow and she kept biting her lip as she tried to appear relaxed and casual.


They cleared the dishes back into the kitchen and loaded them into the washer and put the leftovers away.


When Spike suggested a walk down by the lake, Buffy jumped at the chance to get some fresh air. She hurried off to fetch a coat for both of them while Spike tried to figure out the outdoor lighting controls. He was at the front door when she came back with his coat. Buffy had never seen the black leather coat before and she stared at him when he slipped the sexy garment on. My God he looks like a devil in that thing, she thought a blonde haired, blue eyed, black clad, hot devil! She gulped.


She busied herself with putting her own coat on, hiding her face in case he saw her staring. After seeing him in that coat, the butterflies were back and Buffy thought they’d taken up kick boxing. Her stomach felt like it was under attack by the fluttering that was swiftly turning into a steady churning rumble.


Spike tapped her on the arm to get her attention and opened the door for her. They slowly strolled along the well-lit path down to the lake. The lights didn’t go any further than the lake shore so they had to carefully pick their way along the dark edge of the water as their eyes adjusted to the gloom. There wasn’t much to see, but the fresh air smelled heavenly, fragranced with the sweet smell of the lush greenery. There was a gentle cool breeze wafting off the lake that carried the smells of the damp earth to them. Spike held her hand, helping her over any uneven ground, chatting away to her. She marveled at how he could keep up an almost never-ending stream of patter about nothing in particular and yet still sound as if it was imperative he tell her. She let the sound of his voice wash over to the point where she wasn’t listening, but could still hear him.


She was lost in her own thoughts about tomorrow and all the changes that would occur once she became his mistress. She tried to quell the nervous butterflies, reminding herself she knew this day would come. She’d done everything she could to avoid it, but now she had to accept Spike had her trapped. Since he’d already agreed to her wishes, she really didn’t think she would be able to hold him off any longer. Realistically, he’d already held off a lot longer than she thought he would, but he’d kept his word and waited out the time to the deadline. One more night and she would have to let him claim her. The thought twisted at her heart and head. Yet she knew the attraction was too strong for her to deny how much she wanted him. She was torn with desire and despair.


Angel’s face floated before her. His whispered goodbye and his declaration of love had touched her deeply and for an instant, she’d almost begged Spike to just let him go. Let him take his chances with Masters, but she realized how stupid that notion was. If Spike let Angel go, Masters would make sure they all died horrible deaths.


Angel’s words to her about Spike filled her head. Even though he knew she’d agreed to become Spike’s mistress Angel hadn’t tried to make her feel wrong or bad in any way. Though it must hurt him deeply to think of her agreeing to give herself to a man he hated. She was thankful that neither man knew of the attraction she felt for Spike. The knowledge would only be used against her and Spike had already taunted Angel too much with stories of their encounters. She didn’t want to give him any more weapons.


Spike guided her over to a large flat bolder, tugging her into a sitting position in front of him. She’d been very quiet for the last ten minutes and he guessed she was letting her fears and worries prey on her.


“You’re quiet luv, not tormentin’ yourself with silly thoughts I hope.”


She didn’t answer, and it was all the confirmation he needed. He wrapped the black leather coat around both of them, hugging her back to his chest. He slipped his hands inside her coat, seeking the warmth of her body. She trembled against him.


He kissed her neck. “This is somethin’ you agreed to Buffy, but if you’ve changed your mind, then you ‘ave to tell me now ‘cause once you’re mine, I won’t let you go no matter what you say,” he gently licked the outer shell of her ear and whispered. “I’ll try to make this right for you luv.”


He waited for her to reply, praying he wouldn’t have to spend the night convincing her this was the right decision.


Cold acceptance filled her voice. “You don’t have to worry, I know I have no choice and as long as my friends and family are safe, I don’t care about anything else. It’s no big deal. It’s just sex. It doesn’t mean anything.”


Spike had never heard her speak so coldly and he didn’t like it. She was always so full of sass and fire, and he knew this wasn’t her. He guessed she was trying to prepare herself to do something she thought she shouldn’t or didn’t want to do, distance herself from the act just like a…like a whore. Anger swelled inside him. What have those bitches said to her…FUCK! Now he had to figure out what they’d said and try to put it right before Buffy could convince herself they were right.


He should have guessed they would talk to her about this. Women talk…right? Okay, he thought. I’ve got two choices, the first one being I spend however long it takes to convince her those bitches got it wrong, or I could go for choice number two and force her to face it for herself…and since number two will be quicker and be much more longer lasting, I guess I’ll go with number two.


He pushed her up abruptly, spun her and forced her down on her back on the bolder. “Well if it’s jus’ sex lets do it now.” He was pushing the layers of her clothes out of his way.


She slapped him. “NO! Stop that! Spike stop!” she shouted.


He stopped, gazing at her in the dark. “I thought you said it was no big deal…that you didn’t care as long as your mum and sis and those little pals of yours were okay. That nothin’ else mattered…right? Well they are safe Buffy and you’re right, it’s no big deal; it’s jus’ sex. So what are we waitin’ for let’s do it now.” He lifted his head up and scanned the surrounding area. “There’s no one around…we’re all alone and I love doing it outdoors.” He reached for the fastening on her jeans.


Buffy’s butterflies morphed into a flock of birds. She pushed with all her might, panic lending her strength as she struggled to free herself. Spike resisted her just enough to let her think she had a real fight on her hands, then he let her shove him off. Quickly, she struggled up, angry and shaking. She took two quick steps and slapped him hard across the face.


“You pig…how dare you. You gave me your word,” she snapped. “I should’ve known I couldn’t trust you.” Panicky, she looked up and down the shore line uncertain which way led back to the cabin.


“OH! I see…so it is a big deal. It’s not jus’ sex.” He caught hold of her, forcing her to look at him. “Which one of those friends of yours told you to think of it like it doesn’t matter. Like it’s jus’ sex?”


Buffy sagged in his arms as she realized what he’d said. What he’d done.


“You bastard, I really hate you,” she said.


He laughed coldly. “Who told you to think of it in that way Buffy?” His tone was cold and angry. He shook her slightly.


She struggled in his grip. “Faith!” She spat out. She wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt her so she didn’t hold back her angry words. “She said I should try and close off from it. That if I thought of it like it was no big deal, I’d learn to live with myself ‘cause it was just an act of the body and didn’t have anything to do with my heart...and since I don’t have any real choice and I have to have sex with you, it sounded like a real good idea, and it still does.”


“Really, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Could you?” He let go of her. He was angry with Faith and hurt Buffy would want to hold a part of herself back. Though he knew she was nervous. Despite all the times they’d brought each other off, she still remained distant. Well now he knew what was going through her head he would make sure that when he made love to her, she would be right there with him. Even if she hated both of them for it, he wouldn’t allow her to shut him out. “Well Buffy, it’ll be interestin’ to see how long you can manage to remain closed off, when I’m fuckin’ you. Somehow I don’t think it’ll be long.”


He snatched her by the hand and strode off in the direction of the cabin, forcing her to trot to keep up with his long strides.


“I can’t believe you’d accept advice from a whore,” he snapped. “I know I told you Faith wouldn’t be bothered ‘bout what Luke did to her, but I thought you understood that’s because she’s a whore-”


She cut him off angrily. “And isn’t that exactly what you’re turning me into, just another whore?”


He pulled her to a sudden stop, jerking her arm painfully. “What the bloody hell do you mean?”


“I mean this…me…being your mistress. Let’s face it Spike, mistress is just a fancy word for whore. So I guess that makes me your whore,” she yelled.


Spike was stunned she would think of herself in those terms or she would think he thought of her like that.


“Have I ever treated you like a whore?” he asked angry.


“Yes.”


“What? When?”


“All the time, you’ve forced me into this life, where the only chance I have at saving my life is to sell my body to you.”


“Sell?”


“Yes Spike sell, I checked the bank account you set up for me and you can’t tell me I earned all that money in one week, and what about all the money you spent on those clothes. I’m sure you don’t do that for all your employees.” She was really angry. Her body language was tense and stiff, as she shouted at him. “If I have to live this life you’ve maneuvered me into then I will, but I won’t lie to myself any more. I’m just your whore bought and paid for,” she screamed.


He slapped her hard.


She gasped, her hand flying to her face for a second before she launched herself at him, screaming.


She didn’t stand a chance. It was over in seconds. Spike had her pinned under him with both her hands caught in one of his. She was thrashing about wildly, shouting and yelling at him.


Gradually, she slowed and calmed enough to look at him. He was staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Then suddenly he was kissing her, hard, hot angry kisses filled with his anger and lust. He gasped and tore at her clothes, seeking her skin desperately. Her blouse ripped as he pushed it out of his way to expose her breasts. Once uncovered, he attached his mouth to a pink nipple suckling deeply. Buffy moaned and gasped, feeling the pull of his mouth on her breast and deep in her womb.


He lifted his head to look at her. She opened her eyes to stare at him. “God Buffy you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Even when you’re screamin’ and angry, you take my breath away.” He kissed her, and though she was calm now, he didn’t release her hands.


His compliment threw her and his kisses stole her reason. The anger she felt slipped away as he kissed and fondled her. His hand on her breast was pinching her nipple, stirring feelings she didn’t want…but she did…she really did.


He pulled back, breathing hard. Buffy was breathing hard too, her eyes closed, silent and beautiful. He straightened her blouse noticing he’d torn it as he pulled it back into place. Vaguely, he wondered how he could both love and hate these encounters with her.


“Buffy,” he whispered.


She opened her eyes, sadness and acceptance shining in their depths. He sighed hating her, loving her, wanting her…hating himself.


“C’mon pet lets get back in doors, its cold out ‘ere.” He helped her to her feet and led her back to the cabin.


*****


Buffy sat in the bath soaking in the sweet smelling bubbles while she rested her head back on a peach bath pillow. The heat of the water was finally helping her to relax, as it soothed her tired body.


She heard Spike come into the room. He didn’t speak and she didn’t acknowledge his presence. She preferred to keep him shut out for as long as possible. She could hear him undressing and guessed he was going to join her and even this wasn’t enough to make her open her eyes. He slipped into the water and instantly reached for her, his hand slowly sliding up her leg, softly caressing her. She opened her eyes to find him looking at her.


“We keep doing things wrong…don’t we pet?” he said.


“And I’m not sure we’ll ever get them right,” she replied.


“But I want to try…with you…if you’ll let me…‘cause I can’t do this if you fight me Buffy.”


“I know, but it’s hard and I…I’m not sure I’ll be able to live like this for years and years. It’s too much to think about.”


Spike sighed. It was understandable she would have lingering fears. “Then don’t think ‘bout it Buffy. Think ‘bout your family and friends. Think ‘bout Angel and yourself…all safe, all alive.” Spike was determined she wasn’t going to change her mind. She was too important to him. “Think ‘bout Willow happy and safe, raising her baby.”


She sobbed as sad tears slid down her face. “I hate you,” she whispered through her tears.


Spike gathered her unresisting body close, wrapping her in his arms and caressing her soft skin with a firm touch. “I know pet…I know.” He picked up a sponge and began to bathe her.


When he finished, he handed her the sponge and guided her hand over his shoulders and chest helping her to bathe him. He took her hand and lowered it to his cock, she gasped as she felt his aroused shaft in her hand. “But you want me too…don’t you pet?”


She looked in his eyes, seeing his desire reflected there and feeling his need in her hand. “Yes,” she whispered as she began to stroke him.


He groaned and slipped his hand over her mound. He looked at her, surprised to feel her trimmed pussy. He could feel she’d had most of her curls removed, leaving her with only a small patch of hair covering her pussy lips. He groaned again as he explored the new and sexy softness of her.


She looked at him blushing. “Oh baby that feels nice,” he said.


Buffy wasn’t sure if he was talking about what she was doing to him or her waxed vagina and she was too shy to ask him to clarify. She stroked him firmly, her hand gliding over his wet length easily.


“Buffy?”


“Yes.”


“You’re not a whore and I never ‘ave nor will I ever think of you as one.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her. “No please let me finish,” she nodded. “I want to tell you the differences between you and a whore. A whore has sex for money. She does it because she wants money. You’ve never done it for money and you’re not doing it now for money.” Her hand stilled on his cock, but she didn’t let go. “Now I know you think that the bank account and the clothes were a payment of some kind for sex, but they’re not. I opened the account before I even met you and it was an advance for the work you’ve been doing since the day Wesley handed you those files. The clothes were a necessity for work and for your new life style and no matter what you think, I bought them for you as a gift, but if it makes you feel better you can either send them back or repay me for them, but the money will continue to go into your account every month. It’s a wage Buffy, a wage you’ll pay taxes on like everyone else and don’t think that you won’t earn it ‘cause you will, but you’ll earn it by doing the legitimate job you’re doing now and not by sleepin’ with me.”


She hated when he sounded so reasonable and sincere. “And the fact that I live rent free like a kept woman, what about that?”


Spike nearly laughed at the old fashioned term. “Kept woman…hmmm…well I don’t charge anyone rent pet and I don’t expect any of them to sleep with me out of gratitude. Buffy if you were my whore, you wouldn’t be livin’ in my home. I’d ‘ave put you up in your own place and I’d drop by whenever the urge took me, and yes I’d pay your bills and give you money and gifts, but all there’d be between us would be sex.”


She shifted back from him, releasing his cock. He didn’t try to pursue her.


“And that’s not the way things are between us. We work together and we live together, openly. I’ve met your friends and though they don’t know we’re together yet, they will in time or they’ll jus’ guess. So will your family. Buffy, if the thoughts of being my mistress bothers you so much then don’t be…be my wife instead.”


Buffy was so shocked she had to ask him to repeat himself. “What did you say?”


“I said be my wife.” There was a soft almost hopeful look on his face.


“That’s what I thought you said,” she whispered.


“You said yourself you wanted reassurances that I wouldn’t jus’ use you or change my mind and send you to Masters. Somethin’ more than a simple promise you said, and I’d hardly offer to marry you if I thought of you as a whore. Buffy there’s no other declaration I can make to you or the world that could possibly prove jus’ how much I mean it when I say I’ll protect you and look after you and never let anyone hurt you.”


It was the last thing she expected him to say to her. She knew her answer had to be worded very carefully or he might see it as a rejection of him and the offer to protect her, she really couldn’t afford to lose his protection.


“That won’t be necessary. I never meant for you to think you had to go to those lengths to reassure me…but…but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the offer.”


“Is that a no then?” He sounded wounded.


“Yes, but that doesn’t mean anything else has changed.”


“So you’ve not changed your mind? You’ll be mine?”


“Yes.”


He nodded, accepting her decision. “Then I don’t want to hear you compare yourself to a whore ever again…‘cause you’re nothin’ like one.”


“Okay.”


He smiled and held his hand out for her. “Buffy please tell me now if there’s anythin’ else botherin’ you. Or for God’s sake if there’s anythin’ else you need to ask me then say it all now, ‘cause we’re runnin’ out of time luv, Masters could send for Angel at any time and we need to ‘ave things settled between us before that happens.”


“I can’t think of anything…but…” she stammered blushing.


“What pet?”


“Well it’s just…just that you do know I’m not on the pill...don’t you?”


Spike chuckled. “Don’t worry kitten I’ve got it covered…or I will ‘ave.” He gave her a dirty smirk and her blush deepened. “Now I think we better get out of ‘ere before we turn into raisins.”


He pulled himself out of the water and reached for a towel. Buffy couldn’t help looking at him. He had such a great body. Better than any man she’d ever seen before and though he never flaunted it in an obvious way, he didn’t try to hide it either. He was just naturally comfortable with himself. Her eyes were drawn to his cock. It was erect and hard. She could feel herself reacting to the sight of him fully aroused and so male. She looked away quickly when he finished towel drying his hair not wanting him to see her staring at him.


He held a fresh towel open for her in invitation.


“I’ll be out in a few minutes…I…just want to soak a bit longer,” she said.


“Okay luv, but no more than five and don’t fall asleep.” Wrapping a towel around his hips, he left her to enjoy a bit of time alone.


Vaguely, she thought it was funny how he always said the same thing as her mother when she was in the bath.


Her five minutes were up very quickly, but she still took her time moisturizing her skin and drying her hair. When she was satisfied, she turned off the light and went into the bedroom.


*************************************************************
TBC...soon.
 

Chapter Forty One.

Up All Night. Part 1.


There was no sign of Spike when she came out of the bathroom, but he’d turned on a lamp beside the bed. The peach shade gave the room a soft golden glow and created a nice cozy atmosphere. As she padded barefoot towards the bed she spotted a dark amber, silk nightgown. Spike must have left it out for her. It was arranged artfully over the foot of the bed. Buffy smiled as she picked it up to look at it. The gown was beautiful, shimmering toffee gold silk trimmed with a little ribbon of matching lace. Buffy wondered where he’d bought it from, she’d never seen it before.


Glancing at the door, she quickly let her towel drop to the floor and slipped the gown over her head. The cool fabric caressed her skin as it slid over her. It didn’t quite fall to the floor but rested around her ankles and hugged her small frame, clinging sexily to her hips and breasts. Buffy thought it looked feminine and very flattering and the color looked so beautiful on her. Yet again, she marveled at Spike’s good taste. He had an uncanny knack for choosing things that looked lovely on her. Sitting at the dressing table, she combed her hair away from her face and tied the sides up to keep the long lengths from falling in her eyes.


After the events of the day she was surprised the butterflies from earlier had stopped their fluttering, but then she reasoned she had reached the point where she either fell to bits or just got on with it. Since too many people’s safety was riding on her, she wasn’t about to let them down and fall apart.


Spike came into the room, still wearing the towel around his hips and carrying a tray. He gazed at her, mesmerized by the vision she made sitting at the dressing table. Her arms were raised above her head as she fiddled with her hair, creating a beautiful pose. Spike swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. She looked so stunning moving in the pose that was both classical and feminine. Arousal stirred deep inside him, strong and compelling. He acknowledged his need for her and let his desire build as he gazed at her. Her breasts were lifted high with her arms and they strained softly against the silk of her gown. Her back was arched in a sharp provocative curve, her blonde hair spilled down over her shoulders and back, shimmering like a frothy cloud of spun gold.


Spike stood rooted to the spot, drinking in her unique beauty. Arousal, male and potent thrummed in his veins, dark and primal. Buffy looked at him over her shoulder, puzzled as to why he was so still and quiet, but when she saw the look on his face she blushed.


He placed the tray on the bedside table and walked over to her. She looked at him in the mirror as he reached up and undid the clip arranged in her hair.


“I like it down,” he whispered. He smoothed the silky strands out with his fingers. He leaned down and brushed the golden length out of his way and placed a kiss on her shoulder, then another on her neck, watching her darkly in the glass as he kept kissing her.


“Do you like the gown pet?” He saw her nod. “It looks beautiful on you, but then everythin’ looks beautiful on you.” His voice was deep and husky. He kept kissing her neck as he murmured to her. He watched her face as her blush faded and her eyes filled with the light of desire. He pulled her hair back and sucked on the sensitive spot behind her ear. Her eyes closed and she gasped. She arched her neck back, giving him more access to her throat.


The invitation was too tempting for him, and he slid a hand over the smooth column of her neck and held her tight against his mouth. Her pulse was going wild under his lips. Her breathing was erratic and arousing. He bit down softly and sucked harder, knowing he was going to leave a mark, but he didn’t care, and Buffy seemed to feel the same way.


When he lifted his mouth away the wound looked red and bloody. His eyes met hers in the glass, filled with lust and need. Slowly she stood up and faced him. Her breasts heaving enticingly as he gazed at them, admiring their soft roundness encased in the silk gown. With a gentle hand, he touched her breast and moved closer to her. He rubbed his hard cock against her hip. They both moaned and Spike swept her up in his arms to carry her to the bed. Gently he lowered her, following her down as he did. Buffy slid her hands up his arms to his shoulders and tugged him down for a kiss.


Spike was thrilled and aroused she was responding to his passion, and giving in to her own. He eased back so he could arrange her against the pillows.


“Would you like a glass of champagne luv?” He murmured, smiling down at her.


She blinked and smiled shyly back at him. “Okay.”


He moved away, stripping his towel as he went. Buffy watched his movements. She gasped softly when he removed the towel, blushing when her eyes met his. He smirked and teased her in a husky tone, “Do I shock you pet?”


“No,” she replied defensively.


He chuckled and poured the champagne. Spike handed her a glass and slid up next to her and whispered huskily. “Touch me kitten…put your pretty little hand on my cock and stroke me.”


She looked at him shyly, as she slowly brought her hand up to rest on his erection. Gently, she began to stroke him.


Spike leaned over to kiss her. He groaned deeply as her hand moved quicker. The passion was building in him quickly and he wanted more…needed more than just her hand. He struggled with the urge to tear the gown from her and simply fuck her. His need was so deep, so strong that he knew it would be weeks before he would be sated with her, but he didn’t want to frighten her. He fought for control and won.


“Buffy pet stop…please,” he groaned, brokenly.


She stopped. There was a small puzzled frown on her face. He took a steadying drink from his glass, trying to collect himself as the blood in his veins coursed around his body at mad speeds. Putting his glass down Spike knelt in front of her and lowered his mouth to hers.


Buffy could taste the champagne and desire on his tongue. She moaned as he passionately deepened the kiss. Soon she was breathless and dizzy. Sensing her need to breathe, Spike eased back and began kissing her neck ravenously.


She moaned louder.


Suddenly, he plucked the glass from her hands and placed it on the nightstand. Then he was kneeling over her with his cock in front of her face. She looked up at him and understood what he was asking her to do. “Please Buffy,” he rasped.


He nearly died when she lowered her lips to his swollen cock and licked the leaking tip, but he needed her to pick up the pace a bit. His passion was turning carnal and if he didn’t take the edge off soon, he was afraid he would hurt her, but he didn’t want to scare her so he continued to fight the wild urges running through his head.


“Buffy baby don’t tease…jus’ suck me,” he begged hoarsely.


She looked up and saw his tortured need. Her own arousal flared, matching his. She opened her mouth, letting his hard length slide inside. Spike gritted his teeth and groaned as he tightly gripped the headboard behind her. Quickly, she set a fast rhythm, licking and sucking continuously. She could feel him quivering with the effort to hold back, or maybe it was with the need to climax, or both, but she knew he needed her so she didn’t hesitate or slow.


Suddenly, he gripped her head startling her.


“Hold still kitten. Trust me, I won’t hurt you, but I really need you to hold still. Can you do that for me?” She nodded. “Good girl…now I’m going to fuck your mouth but don’t be frightened, I won’t hurt you, but if you need me to stop, jus’ tap me…okay?” She nodded.


Spike began to slide in and out of her mouth while holding her head very still. He groaned, his head rolling back on his neck, unable to watch himself fuck her. He was afraid the sight would cause him to lose control, but passion won and he steeled himself, he wanted her to enjoy this too.


“Does that feel nice pet?” He was breathing hard with the effort to control himself.


She caressed his outer thighs with gentle hands.


He groaned. “I’m going to go a bit faster…okay.”


She scratched his inner thighs gently with her nails.


“Oh fuck that feels nice pet. I love the things you do with your little hands,” he gasped, picking up the speed of his thrusts, his eyes rolling back in his head.


Within moments, he lost the ability to speak. Buffy reached up and fondled his balls with one hand and caressed his arse with the other. With her sensual touch, he lost all control. His passion exploded, white hot and boiling behind his eyes, screaming for a release. He was dizzy with the sensations flooding him. He thrust a little faster as her small fingers rubbed the sensitive skin just below his balls. Her other hand gently squeezed him, sending him wild. He wanted to slow down, but he couldn’t…he was lost. He looked at Buffy, praying she was alright with this. She was looking at him wide-eyed, but clearly okay.


She squeezed a little tighter on his balls and hummed around his thrusting cock. Spike came with a roar.


“FUCK! FUCK! …OH GOD! BUFFY, BUFFY! …Oh fuck, yes!”


He pulled out of her mouth as she swallowed and collapsed on the bed next to her, sweating and breathing hard.


Buffy gasped and slumped back on the pillows.


Still breathing hard, Spike reached for her. He pushed the silk gown up her legs as he kissed and caressed her. “Are you okay kitten? I didn’t hurt you did I?” he asked breathlessly.


“No, I’m okay. It was a bit rough, but I’m okay,” she whispered.


He kissed her knees and gently pushed them apart. “Rough, but not too rough I hope?” His voice was tinged with concern.


“No, but you seemed a bit…er…a bit lost there,” she stammered shyly. He was tickling the backs of her knees making her squirm.


“Lost in you kitten. Did I scare you?” He pushed a knee up so he could lick underneath. Buffy giggled.


“A bit…at first, but then you started talking to me.” He was nibbling on the soft flesh of her inner thighs, and Buffy could feel herself growing wet as his mouth moved higher and higher.


As Spike pushed the gown higher he could smell her enticing arousal. Eagerly, he slid his hand up to cover her mound. He groaned when he came into contact with her waxed flesh. He wasn’t surprised when arousal flared again. Panting, he pushed the fabric out of his way so he could gaze at her. OH! FUCK! “I can’t believe you did this for me kitten. You look so hot ‘n’ sexy like this.” He kissed the smooth skin murmuring low.


“I didn’t do it for you. I did it because you ordered me to, remember?” She sounded a bit cross.


He chuckled. “I’m a bastard, I know,” he kissed her smooth mound again. “Please say you’ll forgive me?” He pushed the gown to her waist exposing her lower body to his view. She was blushing again as he kissed and licked her newly trimmed pussy.


A naughty little smile crossed her face. She wrapped her fingers in his curly hair and tugged at him to get his attention. “Oh that’s not nearly good enough to earn my forgiveness,” she teased playfully.


The little girl look on her face and the teasing lilt to her voice made Spike’s mouth water and his cock stir to life.


“Then tell me what will and I’ll beg for forgiveness.” He pushed her leg out to the side, opening her up so he could see her. She was all wet and pink. His mouth watered some more.


She tugged at his hair. “Beg! Hmm, maybe I should make you beg,” she teased.


He groaned, loving her little game. “Oh, I could beg pet,” he laughed and said, “I love this little game, kitten.”


She tugged sharply on his hair. “This isn’t a game Spike. You get one chance to get it right. If you beg nicely then I’ll accept your apology, but get it wrong and I won’t let you kiss me for a week.” She tried hard to sound stern, but a couple of tiny giggles escaped her, giving her away.


Spike pretended not to notice the giggles, and played along with the game. “Well if that’s the case, I’m at your mercy.”


“At my mercy…hmm…I like the sound of that. Does that mean you’re giving me power over you?” She asked a playful light in her eyes.


“Buffy, you’ve always had power over me. From the first moment I saw you, you’ve filled my world,” he murmured.


Buffy thought about that for a moment and realized it was true for her too. From the first moment she met him, he too had filled her world. “Yes, I know,” she whispered.


He smiled at her. “And Buffy, I’d crawl on my hands and knees, begging to be allowed into the same room as you…just so I could look at you,” he moved up, hovering over her. “I’d beg to see you smile. To hear you sigh, to touch you. Anything you bestow on me is worth my subjugation…I’m on my knees pet, and only you can raise me up,” he whispered, softly.


The breath caught in Buffy’s throat and her heart started to beat madly. The look on his face was so intense that for a moment she believed him completely, but then she remembered all the things he’d said and done and her belief slipped away. If she held any power over him, it was only here in bed. He wanted her. He wanted her for the sex and the revenge. Her power lay in that. She wondered if she would hold any appeal for him if Angel didn’t love her.


She shrugged and chuckled, avoiding the seriousness of his words and switched back to the lighter tone they’d started with. She smiled playfully. “Now, that was a good apology. I accept, and since I seem to have brought you to your knees you might as well put the position to good use,” she giggled.


Spike closed his eyes and moved back, rejected. He should have known she didn’t want him…not really want him. She was right. It was just sex.


He opened his eyes, smirking at her before lowering his head to kiss and lick every little bit of her smooth mound, mumbling little playful pleas to her for forgiveness.


Buffy’s head was whirling from the touch of his feather like lips and tongue. Combined with his hot breath, he was igniting a desperate need in her. Leisurely he worked her up with his mouth, laving her with a skilled tongue.


Spike slipped back into his normal dominant role. It didn’t take him long to master her. He caught her hips in his hands, and with his shoulders he forced her thighs further apart. He used his tongue relentlessly, licking and sucking her. He released her hips and slipped a finger into her wet folds, rubbing her sensitive flesh, stimulating her wildly while his stiffened tongue relentlessly licked and flicked her nub, agitating the pink bit of flesh.


Buffy screamed and gasped, her hands twisting the velvet cover. He’d never done this before. She tried to find a voice to tell him to stop…tell him it was too much, too aggressive, too intense but she couldn’t, she was falling, spiraling out of control…a child in his hands…helpless.


Her juices were flowing free and fragrant over his mouth and chin. Spike groaned into her sweet, wet flesh. She tried to move away from the intense onslaught, but he wouldn’t let her. He had held back long enough. It was time to awaken the passion in both of them.


He feasted on her, pushing her higher and higher without release, dominating and controlling her with his mouth and will. Spike listened to her cries of pleasure, tinged with passion, and plunged his tongue into her slit, fucking her with hard thrusts of his tongue.


Crazed, Buffy arched her back with her feet braced on the bed, pushing against his mouth, fucking him back. Spike was ecstatic with her reaction and vigorously rubbed her clit. Roughly, he caught her ankles and pulled her feet forcefully from under her. Her bum hit the bed with a bounce and he aggressively pushed her ankles up, forcing her knees to bend toward her chest. Exposed in this new position, Spike plundered her anew. Buffy squealed. He let go of her ankles and growled a warning at her when she tried to straighten them.


She gripped his hair in both hands and twisted the blonde locks tightly, but it didn’t stop or even slow him. Panting, she stared sightlessly at the ceiling, shuddering under his tongue. She wanted to protest and beg him to stop, but she couldn’t, it was too compelling. Her mind wanted her to deny the sensations he was invoking in her, but it was too real and overwhelming to deny. She sobbed helplessly, moaning every time he touched her. She felt him push two fingers into her, fucking her quickly and roughly, his fingers moving vigorously inside her. She sobbed and wailed incoherent nonsense, lost in what he was doing to her. Her release was there at the edge of perception, screaming to be appeased, but Spike somehow denied her what she needed. She tried to beg, but the words wouldn’t form on her lips and all she could hear was her tortured breath, gasping uselessly from her mouth.


Spike knew she was in sweet agony, but he propelled her higher. He was determined she would always remember the moment, when she finally released her passion and lost herself in him. He pulled his fingers out of her wet center and smeared her juices over her puckered hole, moistening her. Buffy jerked and moaned as the tip of his finger penetrated her. He was delighted with her moans and the gibberish little noises she kept making.


Her gown was soaked with sweat. Dark patches decorated the silk from her breastbone to her navel, making the fabric translucent, revealing the contours of her breasts more fully. He leaned up and attached his mouth to a breast laving her nipple through the wet fabric with an arousing tongue. Sharply he bit down and she screamed, aroused and incensed.


Spike moved his head to her other breast and repeated his actions provoking her again. Sucking hard on her nipple he rubbed and teased her gently with just one finger. She was so responsive and wild. Spike knew she was almost there. Easing back down Spike kissed his way back to her naked mound, licking the sweat from her flesh and slowly trailing his tongue down and over her swollen clit. She shuddered with need, and he sucked her gently.


Buffy surged forward and grabbed his hair, begging him to finish it. Spike slowly removed his finger and wrestled her hands away from his head.


“What do you want Buffy?” She stared at his mouth. His face and chin were smeared with her juices. She tugged him towards her and kissed him, wantonly licking at the moisture that coated him. OH! FUCK YES…she’s so horny she’s ready to explode, he thought, kissing her back.


Gently, pushing her away he asked again, “What do you want Buffy?”


“I want to come…please finish it,” she gasped wriggling towards him and tried to force his hand back between her legs.


He caught her hands and trapped them with his own. “I want you to come too kitten, but I want you to come on my cock.” He stared into her lust filled eyes and saw fear flicker in the green depths.


She tried to pull her hands out of his grip, but he was too strong. “No! You said we’d wait until Saturday. Please Spike, look what you’ve done to me…I need to come…Saturday I’ll let you-”


Firmly, he cut her off. “Buffy, it is Saturday.”


She gasped and looked at the clock. A choking sob escaped her throat when she saw the time was twelve forty. Forty minutes into Saturday. “No,” she sobbed.


He pulled her back down onto the bed and lifted the silk gown over her head as he lowered her. He tossed it to the floor. She lay on the bed, sobbing with need and frustration as well as fear. Spike slipped a finger into her wet center making her groan.


“Do you want to come kitten?” he whispered, rubbing gently on her G-spot. She writhed and groaned, but didn’t answer. He applied more pressure to the spongy spot deep inside her.


“I can make you come baby. Would you like that?” She stared at him, anguished and trembling.


He swirled his wet fingers over her clit, pressing down fractionally. Buffy groaned, her pretty face twisted with need. He kissed her hard and passionately. She returned the kiss, her need over taking her once more. Breathlessly, he trailed open-mouthed kisses wetly over her neck, sucking on all the sensitive spots as he traveled down across her collarbone to her breasts. Lifting the soft weight with his free hand, he sucked her pretty pink bud into his mouth.


Her hands tangled in his hair. Her little fingers massaged his scalp as she moaned. Spike hummed at her breast and she quivered. He felt a flood of moisture pool onto his fingers as her passion raged through her. He rubbed his hard cock against her leg.


Licking her nipple to a hard peak, he whispered, “Buffy, I want you. I need you and you need me too. Please let me help you…I’ll make you feel so good.” She was panting as he slowly slipped two fingers languidly in and out of her pussy. He carefully pushed a third finger in, seeking her G-spot. Spike groaned at how tight she felt. Buffy bounced her hips up and down desperately, trying to increase the friction.


Spike slipped one finger out of her pussy and positioned it over her hole, teasing her with the wet digit. She was panting continually with her eyes locked on his mouth as he suckled at her breast. It felt like heaven.


“I want to make love to you Buffy. Please let me…let me still the rage in both our bodies,” his hands slipped away from her and he lay over her. “I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to feel you on my cock. I want to feel you from inside…please Buffy.”


He could tell his words were affecting her. She was trembling with need. Her eyes glazed with desire and weakness. Gently, he kissed her, nibbling on her dry lips and whispering into her mouth. “Be mine Buffy…be mine please.”


Her eyes stared deep into his and his heart twisted painfully. He was anguished to see her raw pain and sorrow, mingled with her need. She closed her eyes shutting him out. “Yes,” she whispered.


Spike reached under the pillow and retrieved the foil wrapped condom he’d placed there earlier. Quickly he opened it, not allowing either of them time to change their minds. He kneeled up and sheathed his cock with the latex sleeve. Buffy’s eyes were still closed, her face turned away from him, breathing hard and trembling.


Lowering his body back over hers he whispered. “Open your eyes kitten let me look at you.” She kept her face turned away.


Gently, he turned her chin to face him. “Buffy open your eyes. I want to know you’re ‘ere with me. I want to know you see the truth. See me like I see you.” He kissed her face and rubbed against her. She moaned. “If we’re going to do this…I don’t want it to be a lie. I want all of you…please.”


She nodded her head and opened her eyes. He stared into her for a moment then kissed her chastely. “Bend your knees kitten, open up for me,” he whispered softly.


She did as he asked. Her breath was coming in little, shallow pants. Leaning up he braced himself on one arm and positioned his cock at her opening rubbing the blunt head over her wet clit, teasing and exciting her. She gasped. Her hands flew to his muscular arms.


“That’s it…hold on kitten.” He pushed in…slowly. She was tight and tense, but wet and warm. He kept looking into her eyes, willing her to see what he couldn’t say. What she would never accept.


Spike carefully pushed in deeper. He struggled to go slow, fighting the urge to just surge into her. She was so tight and soft, he was afraid of hurting her.


Buffy held her breath. He felt so big and hard, and he was moving so slow that she thought she’d scream. She gripped his arms and fought the urge to beg him to go faster. His expression was soft and gentle and Buffy was grateful he was trying to be tender and caring with her. She gasped as he pushed in firmly at the last second, embedding himself deeply into her throbbing heat. He held still, gazing at her and breathing hard with his eyes leisurely sweeping over her body, lingering on her eyes, mouth and breasts.


Unable to contain himself any longer, Spike began to move within her. Thrusting slowly he watched the emotions play across her face. Buffy cried out. His thrusts were igniting something deep inside her. Panting, she held on as his pace increased along with the glorious sensations. She gasped. He felt so big, filling and stretching her.


Spike stroked and caressed her, trying to get her to relax. He gazed at her. She was so beautiful. She gasped and her hips thrust back towards him. Spike was delighted she was beginning to reciprocate, hesitantly at first, but as she succumbed to their combined passion she grew bolder. Lowering himself he gently kissed her, exploring her mouth and coaxing her tongue to participate. She whimpered into his mouth, kissing him back.


She wanted to cry. He felt so good, his body moving deep and strong within her, flooding her with a host of sensations, all of them intense. She thrust with him, desperately needing to keep moving. He suckled her breast, lapping gently at the nipple, making her moan as he thrust harder.


Spike was quickly losing his ability to think. She was under him gasping and moaning, arching her back and thrusting with him, spurring him on and on. She felt like heaven. Nothing had ever felt this good. He thrust faster.


“Wrap your legs around me kitten,” he said, his voice low and husky.


She glanced at him and wrapped her legs over his hips. They both groaned as he slipped in deeper.


Overcome, Spike ploughed into her. Buffy’s breath hitched at the force of his thrusts. Unable to move with him she held on tightly, surrendering her body to him. Spike felt her yield and growled his dominance over her.


Mine! She’s mine! The words echoed in his head. The thought sent a jolt of possessiveness throughout his whole system, and he growled again, gripping her tight.


Buffy clung to him, afraid to let go. His powerful thrusts were driving her closer and closer to the edge. They were both sweating with the effort of his wild passion. He kept the fierce pace going for long minutes pounding into her. Buffy thought she would scream if he didn’t ease up soon.


Maintaining contact he shifted off her. Her legs fell away from his hips and she sighed in relief and groaned in frustration. Moving to a kneeling position, he lifted her hips off the bed and pulled her onto his cock. She cried out, shuddering. Spike gripped her hips and repeatedly pulled her into his thrusts. She gasped and moaned, her hands twisting the bed covers trying to anchor herself. She was overwhelmed with the force of his penetrations.
Their bodies crashed together with each violent thrust. Spike struggled to control himself. He glanced at her. She looked pained. Afraid he could be hurting her he renewed his efforts to control himself.


Groaning, he gradually slowed and eased her back down to the bed. Lowering himself over her he pressed her beneath his weight. Giving her a moment to catch her breath, he moved his hips slowly, drawing himself leisurely in and out of her wet sheath, kissing her neck and shoulders.


Panting, Buffy tried to work some moisture into her mouth. Spike was laying hard and heavy over her while his lips and tongue performed magic at her neck. She moaned as waves of pleasure washed through her. She was shocked by how he could stimulate her so much. She thought she knew her body, but Spike’s touch excited her beyond anything she’d ever felt before.


He pried her hands away from the covers and held them above her head. He gasped suddenly as her core clenched involuntarily around his throbbing cock. Gazing at her, he smiled recognizing her need for release, but he could see reluctance and denial warring on her pretty face. He could be patient, soon she would realize she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He thrust into her, and she moaned in need.


In an instant, he was moving fast again, channeling all his desire into her. He groaned as he thrust. Holding her hands tightly he anchored himself to her, in the same way she had anchored herself to the bed. His body thrust into hers. Buffy cried out, swept along with him as he propelled her need to greater heights. She thrashed under him, trying to push onto him, desperate to get him to make her come.


Spike was relentless, his thrusts triggering wave after wave of sensations throughout her body. She couldn’t help the agonized groans that escaped her.


He snaked a hand between them and rubbed her clit. She jerked under his fingers.


“Come for me baby…let go and come. I want to feel you come on my cock,” he coaxed, his voice husky with need.


“Oh! God,” she whimpered.


He pinched and rubbed her into a frenzy while thrusting deep within her.


The combination of his cock thrusting inside her and his fingers rubbing her clit, had her burning with need.


“That’s it baby…feel me. I’m so hard for you…I want to come inside you. Come for me kitten….surrender for me. Come for me and make me come.”


His words shattered her.


Her climax broke with intense power. Screaming she gripped him.


Spike roared as her core clamped around him. Thrusting once more, he came with her, crying her name.


Spent, they collapsed into each others arms, panting and breathing hard.


Buffy’s arms dropped away from his shoulders, but Spike clasped her to him murmuring pretty words to her as he kissed her face and neck.


A sob burst from her.


Alarmed, Spike jerked away from her. Gazing at her, he was amazed to see tears rolling down her cheeks. Quickly, she turned her face away from him sobbing into her hands, her cries coming in big breathless gulps.


Hurt and a little angry, he pulled out of her. She groaned as he withdrew from her body. Quickly, he disposed of the used condom and gathered her limp body in his arms.


“Sssh its okay kitten…please don’t cry,” he soothed.


She sobbed and tried to push him away. Resisting her efforts, he held onto her. “Buffy, what’s wrong?”


Sobbing she fought to break free. Spike rolled over her, pinning her to the bed and forcing her hands away from her face.


His anger escalated. He stared into her face. “Damn it…Buffy what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”


“Get off me,” she sobbed.


“No! Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”


How could she tell him? She didn’t know how to explain it to herself, so how could she explain it to him? She knew from their past encounters he was sexually skilled and he’d certainly got her off often enough, but this last encounter was too much. She hadn’t expected him to make her feel so lost, so overwhelmed. She despised herself for her weakness. He’d made her feel so good. How was this possible? He’d kidnapped her, used her friends and family to blackmail her, assaulted and repeatedly molested her. Forced her to lie and accept a sexual relationship with him. She hated him for all the things he’d done to her, but despite all that, he made her feel so good.


Her emotions were in turmoil and she was struggling to come to terms with the conflict within her. So she cried…wanting to cling to him because of the intensity of sensations he invoked within her, but also wanting to scream and yell at him, so he would never touch her again. She hated herself and she hated him, but she knew the next time he reached for her she would be unable to resist him. He’d made her want him.


“I HATE YOU!” She screamed.


An angry scowl appeared on his face and his eyes darkened. “You’ve said that before and maybe you do, but I don’t care if you hate or despise me as long as you do as you’re told. Even if you do hate me, it doesn’t make any difference to your situation. You’re mine now, and nothin’ is ever going to change that.” He kissed her, forcing himself into her mouth, demanding her submission. Then he was kissing her neck, sucking and biting her ear lobe. Spike smirked as she shuddered. “You might hate me Buffy, but your body doesn’t. Your body likes what I can do. How I make it feel and I think that’s what you really hate, but you’ll learn.”


“You bastard…I hate-”


“Yeah, yeah…you know you’ve really got to find some new lines.” Suddenly he released her and rolled away. “Now if you want to ‘ave a good cry you go right ahead and cry, and when you’re finished, we’ll ‘ave another go and see if we can do it without the tears.”


Naked he got off the bed and angrily stalked out of the room, banging the door behind him. Buffy stared at the door and sobbed. Flinging herself back onto the bed, she cried her heart out, her tears coursing down her face. She felt angry, confused and frightened. Wailing, she banged her small fists against the bed. How can this be happening to me? She kept asking herself.


Self-conscious of her nakedness and still feeling the shuddering effects of her climax, she pulled the velvet cover over her trembling body trying to hide her shame and desire. Her tears eventually subsided and she fell into a light sleep.

*************************************************************
TBC…soon
 

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