“I wish Buffy was still alive,” she blurted out quickly, her eyes filing with tears at the implications of her words. She looked at Willow, hoping that the redhead would understand her.

Willow smiled slightly and reached out to hold Anya’s hand. “We all do.”

They sat in that position in complete silence for what seemed like hours. Finally Anya spoke again. “Maybe if things had been different. None of this would ever have happened. Don’t you wish…?”

“An, it’s no good wishing for things that can never be. Believe me we’ve all tried it. You just have to go on and…”

“Night,” the teenager called out, closing the door behind their friends. She turned to her sister, their smiles immediately leaving their faces. “Was he hurt really bad?”

Anya winced and nodded, pulling her sister close for a hug before she made her way upstairs. Dawn followed silently, wanting to ask more, but not wanting to upset her sister any further. She decided to pay Xander a visit herself tomorrow.

“He didn’t tell Glory anything,” her voice broke through the darkness several minutes later. “He really loves her doesn’t he?”

Spike smiled against her hair. “Looks like it.”

“We’ve been really awful to him. And still he did that for Dawn. For Anya.”

“Buffy…what are you planning?”

She turned her head up to peer at him through the darkness. “Me? Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that luv,” Spike chuckled, “I’ve known you too long for you to be able to pull the wool over my eyes anymore. You’re going to do something, and I want to know what.”

Buffy pouted. “No fair. You know me too well.”

“That I do, pet. Now tell me.”

Buffy sighed and snuggled further into his embrace. “I think she likes him too.”

“Anya likes Xander?” Spike questioned thoughtfully and then smiled. “You know, I think you’re right.”

“So, if we give her a helping hand…” Buffy left the sentence hanging, not knowing how Spike would react to her matchmaking.

Her boyfriend chuckled. “Sounds like fun, sweet.”

The young witch’s eyes widened excitedly. “Really? You’ll help me?”

“She deserves some happiness. And I guess he can’t be that bad, if he suffered that for her.”

Buffy grinned. “Then we’ll go see him tomorrow. We can try a spell, maybe? To make him feel a little better?”

Spike nodded. “Anything you say, luv.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows and smiled innocently. “Anything?” she asked moving her hands beneath the covers. Spike closed his eyes and moved his own hands gently across Buffy’s body.

“Absolutely anything.”

“Dawn Jenkins,” Buffy’s voice was raised slightly, her tone rather stern as she spoke to the teenager. “What are you doing here in the middle of the day? Why aren’t you at school?”

Xander grinned at the picture the small blonde witch made, standing with her hips planted firmly on hips, staring the teenager down with one of her withering looks. Spike was laughing soundlessly at Dawn over his girlfriend’s shoulder and Dawn twisted her face at him, while she thought of a good excuse to give Buffy.

“I think we can help,” the blonde before him announced to the room at large, giving him a brief smile before turning back to Spike.

“Help with what?” Xander asked gruffly as the two witches started to unload the bag they had arrived with.

“The pain,” Buffy threw back over her shoulder before effectively ignoring him and immersing herself in setting up the spell. Spike left her to it and walked slowly across to where the vampire sat, ruffling Dawn’s hair in the process, before hopping up next to Xander on the tomb.

“It’s usually best to leave her to it,” he told him, fishing a packet of cigarettes out of his coat pocket. “You smoke?” Xander asked amazed as Spike lit the cigarette and inhaled slowly.

“She’s trying to get me to quit,” the witch muttered conspiratorially, “But sometimes, even one of her looks can’t stop me.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” he protested, quickly conjuring up the innocent expression she loved so much.

“It’s always your fault,” she told him sternly, refusing to give way this time. “And don’t smoke.”

He grinned at her and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips. “Yes luv. Now are we ready.”

“Ready,” Buffy affirmed, slightly breathless, even from such a small touch. She turned to the vampire who lay before them, teeth clenched, eyes tightly closed and took his right hand in her own. Spike took his left hand and the two witches began their spell.

Anya looked up at Buffy sharply and asked a little too quickly, “What? What do you mean?”

Buffy tried to hide her smile. “I’m just saying, he did a nice thing for you, didn’t he?”

“I guess,” Anya responded unenthusiastically and Buffy sighed.

“Do you still think he doesn’t love you?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” the Slayer muttered and Buffy rolled her eyes. It was like drawing blood from a stone. The least she could do was acknowledge his feelings, even if she couldn’t acknowledge hers.

The young witch was about to impart this information to her friend when she noticed Anya’s eyes shining with unshed tears. “Oh, An. What’s wrong?”

“He does love me doesn’t he,” Anya choked out and Buffy nodded, even though she knew it wasn’t exactly a question. “It all just hurts so much.”

“What hurts?” Buffy asked, worried about her friend once more.

“It never works. I have relationships and they don’t work. They’re never going to work, so it’s just easier on everyone if I don’t have them anymore.”

Spike looked up from the desk in their dorm room as Buffy entered. “Hey beautiful. Miss me?”

Buffy grinned, all the tension leaving her body as she looked across at the man she loved and nodded. “Miserably.” She moved towards him and he turned his seat so that it was facing her. She slowly reached out and removed his glasses, lying them carefully down on the desk. “Haven’t you done enough work for tonight?” she purred in his ear as she straddled him across the chair, running her hands lightly over his back.

“I think I’ve done enough for a couple of nights luv,” he murmured lazily as he wrapped his arms around her and stood, carrying her quickly over to the bed.

“Mmm, good,” Buffy said softly as he began to undress her slowly, taking his time in removing each item of clothing; touching, caressing and kissing each part of her body thoroughly as he unveiled it.

Later, as they snuggled together beneath the covers, Buffy told him what Anya had said in the Bronze.

“She’s frightened Spike. And not of him being a vampire, just that she might get hurt again. I don’t know how to help her. I thought if I could convince her Xander was an ok guy, she’d give him a chance, but now it turns out that isn’t even the issue.”

Spike rubbed her back soothingly as he ran everything through in his mind. “We’ll just have to prove to her that love’s work the risk then.”

“You have an idea?” Buffy asked, perking up a little at the thought of being able to help her friend.

Spike nodded. “I think I just might.”

“NO!”

Buffy rolled her eyes as she followed Angel into the kitchen in his apartment. “Stop being so pig-headed. She likes him. Really, really likes him. Why would it be so bad if…?”

“He’s a vampire,” Angel reminded her for the thousandth time as he filled the kettle and switched it on to boil. “He’s an EVIL vampire.”

“Broken record much? Can’t you come up with a better reason?”

“I don’t need a better reason. There is no better reason.”

“Come on Angel, please…”

Angel spun around to face her, his face a rigid mask. Buffy hated it when he got like this. “No. Buffy I’m sorry. I know the guy did a good thing the other day, but that doesn’t make up for all the millions of hideous things he’s done. I don’t like him. I never will. Don’t expect me to…”

“For Anya,” Buffy interrupted firmly, her penetrating gaze making Angel squirm for a minute.

“I don’t have to be nice to him do I?”

Buffy smiled. “That’s not what it’s about. Thank you.”

“Yeah well, I’m not happy. And Giles is gonna freak. You do realise that?”

Buffy nodded, her confident smile never leaving her face. “He’ll come around eventually.”

“Whatever,” Angel muttered sullenly, handing her a cup of coffee as they made their way back to the living room. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure. How’re things with Faith?”

Angel grinned happily as he recounted the past week’s events with his unconventional girlfriend and Buffy’s good mood increased as she realised that soon all of her close friends could be in happy relationships.

“And Spike?” Angel asked her with a slight smirk, “Are things still good?”

Buffy nodded eagerly. “You know we’ve been dating almost two years. Sometimes it feels like I’ve always been with him. He knows me inside out. This is going to sound really weird, but sometimes I think this was all meant to be, you know. Like destiny.”

Angel nodded in agreement. “I know what you mean. Who’d have thought four years ago…?”

“Thought what?” Faith’s voice interrupted them as she entered the apartment carrying several shopping bags. “Honey, can you give me a hand with all this stuff?”

Angel jumped up to help his girlfriend and Buffy grinned at Faith over the top of her coffee mug. “So Faith. You in the mood for a little matchmaking?”

“Are you sure this isn’t just some bizarre Scooby way to get me out of your lives?” Xander asked as Buffy explained what they were going to do.

“Xander. Come on. At least give it a try. I mean, what you’ve done so far hasn’t exactly been subtle… or nice… or in any way good,” Buffy told him firmly.

“Hey,” Xander complained and Buffy allowed him one concession.

“Apart from the getting tortured thing. You have to admit that your methods weren’t exactly world-beaters in the field of dating.”

“It’s not my fault,” Xander grumbled quietly. “I’m a vampire. I don’t know any better.”

“What crap!” Buffy exclaimed mockingly as she turned to go. “You can’t have it both ways Xander. Nu-uh,” she held up a hand to him as he began to explain again, “It doesn’t matter anymore. Just try and get it right from here on out, ok. We can’t do everything for you, you know.”

Xander had the grace to look embarrassed. “Thanks for um… well everything Buffy.”

The young witch smiled happily at him. “I’m here to keep her happy,” she told him as she turned back to the exit. “Hurt her and die,” she sang out to him as the door swung shut behind her.

“Rough night?” Spike asked and the Slayer shook her head.

“There is nothing out there. You can just tell the end of the world is nigh. All demons suddenly go on vacation.”

“Then why are you so tired?” Buffy asked anxiously and Anya slowly opened one eye and turned to glare at her best friend. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately,” the Slayer answered and Buffy nodded slightly in understanding. Hopefully things would be better soon.

“Ok Dawn,” Anya began sitting up fully to look at her sister, “bedtime.”

“Oh, come on An. It’s Friday night. Please, let me stay up with you,” the teenager begged and Anya smiled slightly at her sister’s pleading.

“Alright, but just this once,” she relented, “Do you want some cocoa before you go to bed?”

“What?” the Slayer managed hoarsely, not wanting to believe her sister’s words.

“Well you know,” Dawn explained as she helped pick up the pieces of the broken mug, “He doesn’t feel that way about you anymore. At least I don’t think he does.”

“Why not?” Anya asked sharply, glad her burning face was pointed away from her eager eyes of her sister.

“So An,” Angel began his part in the conspiracy, looking less than thrilled that he had to do anything to help Xander in any way, “How’s the evil one doing after last week’s little adventure? Still in pain or is he back to boiling your bunnies?”

“Angel! Gross much?!” Dawn complained loudly at the image presented to her, while Faith paled and grabbed her boyfriend’s arm. “Bunnies? What bunnies? Where are there bunnies?”

“I saw him the other day at the Bronze, talking to some girl,” Buffy’s revelation cut through Anya’s upsetting thoughts.

“Who?” she heard Dawn ask, trying hard to focus on the conversation and not break down at the shock.

“I don’t know, exactly,” Buffy continued, “I’ve seen her around. She’s really beautiful. Tall, dark. A lot like Cordelia actually.”

“It’s just rebound,” Faith put in, finally shaking off the bunny fear. “It’ll never last.”

“Yeah,” Anya agreed, trying to lighten her own mood and not appear so disheartened. “It takes guys a while to get over me you know.”

“Oh no, I meant rebound from Cordelia,” Faith explained, happily continuing to search the text she was reading from. “You were just a little obsession to pass the time.”

Anya couldn’t control the sob that was dragged from her at Faith’s words and she excused herself to continue training. The Scoobies shared one hopeful look, before Buffy followed the Slayer into the training room.

“An? You ok?” she asked, quietly closing the door behind her.

“I’m fine,” Anya gritted out as she ruthlessly pounded the punching bag, her misery giving way to anger at the thought of being so easily cast aside. Again.

Buffy stayed silent. They were on the verge of something here. Anger was the second stage Anya usually went through when something bad happened in her love life. Unfortunately her boyfriends had never hung around long enough for Buffy to discover the third stage. She was hoping for action.

“You know,” Anya began, never ceasing her movements, “I knew this was going to happen. I was right. Wasn’t I right? An obsession. I told you I couldn’t get involved. I would be hurt. And I was right.”

“Aren’t you hurt now?” Buffy asked softly, watching her friend’s frenzied movements become more violent. The Slayer stopped and looked back at the witch, realisation dawning on her face.

“Buffy what am I going to do?” she asked desperately as her best friend enfolded her in her arms.

“Talk to him.”

“But you heard them, he…”

“Do you believe that? Do you believe he never loved you?” Buffy asked, looking Anya straight in the eye. This was the moment Buffy had been waiting for. Anya had to reach within herself and regain her confidence in who she was.

“No,” Anya whispered, “He did love me.”

“Then talk to him,” Buffy repeated, smiling slightly as the Slayer hastily kissed her cheek and then ran from the training room.

In two steps she was next to him, grabbing by the throat and pushing him up against one of the pillars.

“For God’s sake Slayer,” Xander ground out, beginning to see red himself at her behaviour, “what the hell do you think you’re…”

“Enough Xander. I just want to ask you one question,” Anya’s eyes flashed dangerously as she spoke. “Was it fun huh? Messing me about? Pretending that you cared about me so that you could screw me up more than any other guy has? Did you get off on that as much as you’d get off on killing me? Well?”

Xander gestured for her to release him so that he could speak and Anya stepped back slightly, hurt and anger still evident in her eyes. “What are you talking about? You know how I feel about you. Why would I have put myself through all that hideous torture, if not for you?”

“Dawn,” Anya murmured and Xander smiled weakly as he brought up his hands to cup her face.

“I do love Dawn. You’re right. And I’d never let anyone hurt her. But I love you. You have to believe that now. Even if you don’t believe anything el…”

Anya’s lips stopped him as she leant up to kiss him. She was going to take the chance. She’d been hurt before, but love was going to do that. Even if it fell apart later on, she knew it was better to try. And they were starting off in a better position than she had ever been in before. Anya knew it was worth the risk.

“Um, Buffy,” Spike interrupted, his voice full of feeling and nervous tension. “I want to ask you something.”

The young blonde sat up, looking anxiously at her boyfriend. “What? What is it?”

“Tara, slow down,” Willow begged as she was propelled out of the apartment. “I think I’d quite like to know what’s going on before we go and… do whatever we’re gonna do.”

Xander nodded forcefully in agreement. “Yeah. Start explaining.”

Tara sighed and for the first time since Willow had met her, an impatient look briefly crossed her face. “If I’m right, something major is going to happen. Something really, really good,” she explained cryptically, sharing an excited glance with Anya. “But we probably need to see Giles about it.”

Willow and Xander looked at each other, sharing in each other’s confusion as Tara and Anya continued to talk enigmatically across them. “Wait. What if it hasn’t happened to them yet?” Anya asked suddenly, the former demon’s question finally slowing the blonde witch down. “They can’t be expecting it.”

Tara grimaced slightly. “That’s true. Well Giles will know what to do when it happens. Won’t he?”

Anya nodded reassuringly. “He usually seems to. It should happen tonight at any rate. If he doesn’t contact us, we’ll simply ask him about it tomorrow.”

Tara turned back to Willow and smiled. “Everything will be alright again,” she told her partner, taking her hand as they re-entered Xander’s apartment.

“I hope,” Anya added under her breath as the four friends settled back down to wait.

“I know love,” he whispered into her hair, rubbing her back gently to try and calm and soothe her. “Shh, nibblet. If there’s one thing I know about your sister it’s that she wouldn’t want you to hurt because of her. Because of anything. She loved you so much Dawnie. We just have to strong.”

“It’s too hard.”

“No, no. We’re here. We’ll help you through this. We’ll help each other.”

Dawn sniffed and pulled back slightly to look at him. “I just keep thinking what would have happened if I wasn’t the key, or if those monks hadn’t given me human form. If it wasn’t for me, Buffy would still be alive.”

“Don’t think that Dawn,” Spike’s tone brooked no argument. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. It is not your fault. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.”

“But…”

“No. I could have stopped it… I promised and I failed. It’s my fault.” He raised his fingers to her lips as she began to protest. “The point is we’re all blaming ourselves. Each of us are imaging ‘what if’ scenarios. We can’t change anything, no matter how much we hate it, so we find some way of saying it was our fault. But it wasn’t yours.”

“Or yours,” Dawn whispered looking him straight in the eyes, forcing him to listen.

“It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to go down in blaze of glory… no pun intended.” Dawn smiled slightly at the vampire’s words. “I wish it had been me sweet bit. Hell if we’re going to get into that, I wish she’d never been the bloody Slayer in the first place, then there’d be no chance of her being in perpetual danger. Maybe if I’d been the Slayer, Buffy would still be here for you.”

“...and you couldn't ever do it. He brought blackness upon us.”

Angel was screaming at the top of his lungs. Buffy knew she’d be a fool if she didn’t feel just a little afraid. She’d seen that look in his eyes before. Knew what it meant to be on the receiving end of that deadly gaze. Still there weren’t many ways out of this one. She knew he had every right to be angry, but so did she and she wasn’t shouting. No she was trying to make a go of it. She just had to stay calm and hope that Angel eventually calmed down too.

“So, Sunnyhell was not our finest hour. And yes, I made a deal with the Slayer. But you were shagging

Dru and bringing about an Apocalypse to end all life as we know it. So? Every couple's got their ups and downs, love. Point being, we got through all that, it's behind us now. Isn't it?”

He stared at her, his anger barely restrained. She was going to pay for this, Buffy knew. She dropped the arrogant display and leaned forward slightly in her seat. “Just tell me what you want,” she offered gently.

“I want the Slayer dead, Buffy,” Angel gritted out dangerously.

Buffy had had enough. She jumped out of her seat and started pacing in front of her lover. She was angry too. “You're the one who keeps bringing him up! I haven't said a word about the bloody Slayer since we left California! He's on the other side of the planet, Angel!”

Angel stood and stopped Buffy in her tracks, holding her in front of him, gripping her arms brutally. “But you're lying, I can still see him. Floating all around you. Laughing. Why don't you push him away?”

“But I did, Pet. I did it for you! And you're still punishing me,” Buffy had no idea what he was talking about. Yes she had made a truce with the Slayer, but there was no feeling in it, other than an intense desire to keep the world going and get Angel as far away from his bitch of a Sire as possible.

Angel looked down at her and his eyes softened slightly. “It’s over Buffy. You taste like ashes to me.”

Buffy stared up at him confused, refusing to believe this was the end. “This is my fault?”

“You're covered with him. I look at you, all I see is the Slayer.” Angel brought his hand up and backhanded Buffy with all his strength, sending her flying across the square, to rest unconscious on the ground.

William turned to leave. He couldn’t bear to hear this anymore, but Drusilla held him back. “I'm sorry. Will, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this…”

The Slayer exploded. “Then don't! Who are you to tell me what's right for me!? You think I've never thought about this stuff?”

“Have you? Rationally?”

“No, I'm just a little kid, right?”

“I'm trying to do what's right here, I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart…”

“What heart?” He raised his hand cover her heart, angry and upset that she was doing this to them. “You have a heart? It isn't even beating!”

Drusilla flinched slightly. “William, please don't.”

He shook his head, angry tears rolling unbidden and unnoticed, down his face. “Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry, nobody told me I had a choice! I can't just change… I'll never change. I want my life to be with you.”

Drusilla stopped and looked and him. This was the moment. The choice Joyce had been talking about. “I don’t”

“Don't - want to be with me?” She continued to look at him, not saying a word and the harsh truth began to settle over him. “I can't believe you're breaking up with me...”

“It doesn't mean I don't…”

He didn’t want to hear anymore, gestured for her to stop explaining. They stood for several more moments before he asked “How am I supposed to stay away from you?”

“I'm leaving. After the Ascension, after it's finished with the Mayor. If we survive, I'll go.”

“Where?”

“I don't know.”

There was a pause. A long moment where William finally took everything in. “Dru?”

“Will...”

“Is this really happening?”

“Something wrong Nia?”

The vampire’s eyes shot open instantly and were immediately caught in a deadly black gaze. “N, n, no Master. All is well.” He smiled broadly down at her, but Nia was not deceived.

“Run along then,” he gestured for her to leave. Nia bowed her head and walked away, glancing back over her shoulder once, in time to see her Master take the whip and chains from the wall and let himself into the room. Nia shuddered slightly and made her way out into the night, unable to bear another night of her Sire’s screams.

Giles looked up from the counter as he entered and smiled. “’Evening William.”

“Giles,” Will nodded at the older man.

“I have something for you,” his Watcher told him, and he raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise.

“Why Giles. This is all so sudden. And here I was thinking that romance was dead.”

The Watcher looked at him sternly. “Very funny, William.” He pointed across to a large box, which lay near the entrance to the training room. “This came for you today.”

The Slayer wrinkled his brow as he moved slowly towards the box. “What’s in it?”

“How the devil should I know?” Giles asked exasperated, removing his glasses and cleaning them nervously. “Open it and find out. I’ve been dying to know.”

“Dying to know what?” a third voice joined the conversation and the two men turned to find the Scoobies watching them intently.

“What’s in the box,” William answered Xander’s question, turning his attention back to his ‘gift’.

“When did it arrive?” Willow asked as she moved to stand next to her best friend.

“Around one, this afternoon. I knew you were at college and that you’d be here tonight, or I would have called earlier,” Giles told them.

“Open it,” Anya ordered, not understanding why they were still standing around talking when there was a huge present to be opened.

“What?!” Willow, Xander and Giles exclaimed as they looked, astonished, upon the vampire before them.

“Who?” Tara and Anya asked, confused at their friends’ reactions.

“Buffy,” William said again, more gently this time as he carefully reached up to brush the hair out of her face.

“Well stake her,” Xander’s voice cut through the silence and shook the others out of their shock.

“No!” Both Willow and William cried out, causing Buffy to look sharply up at the gathered Scoobies, before turning her attention back to the Slayer.

“We can’t just kill her,” Willow continued, “She hasn’t hurt any of us. Something awful must have happened to her.”

“Am I the only one who remembers the whole, ‘kill evil vampires’ deal?” Xander asked the room at large.

“Who is she?” Anya asked her boyfriend again, feeling a little annoyed at being ignored earlier.

“Big bad vampire master from a couple of years back. Tried to kill us all, end the world, that kind of thing. The only reason she’s alive now is that she gave Will a helping hand in the final battle with Drusilla. Then she took her boyfriend and skipped town, never to be heard from again. Or at least, that’s what we hoped.”

“Do you think she recognises you?” Willow asked quietly, edging closer to him as the others settled down to research.

“I don’t know Wills. If she did don’t you think she’d have ripped my throat out by now?”

Willow smiled slightly. “Maybe. Or maybe she just trusts you.” The redhead looked down at the vampire who was staring up at them as they talked. Carefully she reached out her hand and the vampire hesitated slightly before moving closer and sniffing it. She nudged the palm of Willow’s hand with her head and the young witch relaxed slightly as she gently stroked the vampire’s hair.

The others endured the whole procedure in silence, one disbelieving, one afraid, one curious and one accepting. As Buffy began purring again Giles decide to take action.

“William, what are you going to do with her? How will she feed? Where will she stay? And for God’s sake boy, cover her up this instant!”

“Wow. New girl. Took you long enough,” Dawn interrupted as she passed by him on her way to the kitchen. “Although from the look of it, you’ve been keeping quiet about this one.”

“Dawn,” William growled warningly at his sister. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh my God, Will, what happened?” Joyce asked as her son entered the kitchen. She tilted her head to look more closely at the girl and she frowned as she thought. “Don’t I know her?”

Dawn moved across to stand with her mother and looked properly at the woman for the first time. “She looks familiar…”

“She was here a few years ago. You saw her a couple of times mom. Before I ran away,” William informed them as he sat down at the kitchen counter. “It’s Buffy.”

“The vampire?!” Dawn exclaimed, stepping back a little, fearfully.

“William,” Joyce began, using the tone Will knew was going to mean trouble. “How could you bring a vampire into the house? She’ll kill us…”