*Heather Martin*

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is a story with characters created by Joss Whedon. I am only borrowing them.

Spoilers- This will have many spoilers. It occurs after Wrecked, and will refer to everything before that also. But mostly, Fool for Love.

Summary- A spell has a far greater impact than Willow or Spike counted on. The vampire is split into two separate embodiments: the demon and William. But there’s still Spike, who has to decide who he really is, the demon or the man. And time is running out.

Finally, I thought of a TOTALLY new idea. At least, I think I did. I hope you all like it. Probably will be 10 chapters.

Chapter 1- Torn

Spike hadn’t seen Buffy in almost a week. She was avoiding any place he might be; the Bronze and even his part of the cemetery. He had to force himself not to stalk around her house. She would bloody-well beat him to a pulp. Not that he couldn’t do the same to her now. The thought brought a smile to his lips. But that wasn’t the point. He wanted her to come to him. To admit that she wanted him. He just didn’t know how long that would take. And, meanwhile, he was going insane.

He had no blood running through his veins, he had Buffy. She was in his system, in every nerve. No movement could be made without being aware of her presence. There was no way to change it, the damage had already been done. They were connected.

She had to sense the same thing he did. She had to. The only reason she ignored it was because she thought he was a monster. He used to be sure of that too. But lately he didn’t know what he was. Ever since that sodding chip had been planted in his brain he battled an inner war. Do good it said. His demon had other thoughts.

The other night, when he thought he was bitable again, he wanted to go for it. He longed for the kill. But when he actually was about to do it, he didn’t get that thrill he used to. The headache had come, making him stop. Yet, if it hadn’t, he might not have gone through with it anyway. And he needed to know if that was part of the chip mind control (because it had still been working, just not to his knowledge), or if it had been him. The him deep down.

Spike had to find out. Was he a pathetic, lovesick poofter? Or, was he a vicious beast being kept at bay? Being hypnotized to act this way.

Had he really changed? And if so, what made him? Was it Buffy? Partly her?

He rushed over to the door. He exited into the cool night air. There was a way to find out.

+ + + + + + +

The Magic Box was closing. Anya shut the cash register, satisfied with the profit she had collected. She glanced over at the round table. Xander and Willow were chatting. They had Willow’s labtop on, surfing the net or something. The past few days, Willow had been un-witchy. No spells or magic of any kind. She didn’t even glance at the supplies in the shop. She was back to her computer nerd ways. Her fashion had mellowed down a bit also. Back to sweaters and such.

Anya made her way to Xander. She put her arms around him. “Honey, let’s go home,” she said.

He stiffened. That tone. He knew it well. It was a ‘let’s go screw’ voice. But, he wasn’t off by the idea.

Xander turned his head toward his fiancé. “Sure, just let me wrap this thing up with Will.”

Anya nodded. “Okay. I’ll get my coat.”

Willow shut off the computer. She smiled over at her best friend. “That was fun,” she commented.

“Yeah, it was. It’s good to have the good-ol’ giddy-lovin Willow back,” he told her.

“It’s weird. I spent so long trying to get away from that. I wanted to be mature and sexy. But, the transition back, it feels right. I think this is who I am.” She smiled. Hope filled her. Maybe Tara would see the difference in her. She might give her another chance.

The three of them walked out of the store. Anya locked the door. “See ya tomorrow, Willow,” she declared.

Willow waved. Anya wasn’t so bad lately. “Ok,” she replied.

Xander and Anya hooked arms together. They were soon out of sight.

A long sigh escaped Willow. She tucked her hands in her coat pockets. It was kind of nippy out. She quickened her pace. The thought of being in her nice warm bed was very favorable. Her face fell. Too bad it was an empty bed.

A shadow crossed her path. She spun around. Her heart was racing.

Spike smirked at her. He exhaled a puff of cigarette smoke.

“Don’t do that!” Willow scolded. “That sneaking up stuff is not nice.”

“I’m a vampire. That is what we do.”

“Sure, just. . . do it more unsubtly.”

He chuckled. “Sure, Red, whatever.” He stomped out his cigarette butt. He remembered why he was here. “I’ve been looking for you. Need you to do me a favor.”

Willow’s voice wavered. “What kind of favor?”

“Don’t sound like that! It’s not dangerous or nothin. Just need you to do me a little spell.”

Her eyes widened. She shook her head. “NO! I’m done with that. Totally. Find yourself another witch!”

He grabbed her arm. “Your going to do this for me!” he exclaimed.

Willow was startled. She twisted her arm, trying to get him off her.

Spike put his game face on. One way or another he was going to get her to help him. “I have to find out who I am. I’m going insane! I have to know if I’m a monster in captivity. Or, if I help you guys out of choice.” He tapped his head. “Does this bloody chip make me love Buffy?” There, he said it. What he really wanted to know.

Willow looked up at him. There was an expression of sudden understanding there. She relaxed a bit.

It would be a simple procedure, Willow thought. Not hard at all. Just look into his brain to distinguish between good and evil. Find out what part dominated his actions. There was hardly and risk of a wiggy side-effect.

“Ok,” squeaked Willow. “But, this is my last spell casting. And, you have to let me go.”

Spike released her. His face shifted back to his human features. “Thanks, Red. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

He began to walk. His duster flew back as he moved. Willow rubbed her arm. Then she followed.

+ + + + + + + + +

They made it to the Summers’ home, where Willow currently lived. She turned to Spike. “Stay here. I’m going to get supplies. It’s best if we do this outside. Dawn’s at a friend’s, and Buffy’s patrolling, but we should be on the safe side.”

Spike agreed. He waited for her to come back. When she did, she was carrying a box with candles and matches.

The two went around to the back of the house. They were secluded in the shadows. No one would see them there. Not unless someone searched extra hard.

Willow pointed to the ground. “Sit,” she ordered.

He did as was told, settling on his knees. Then she made a circle around him with candles. She lit each one, creating an illuminating gleam. Willow hoped Buffy would stay out late. If she came back, she might be able to see the light. They weren’t so hidden anymore.

Willow sat down in front of Spike. She closed her eyes and began to chant.

What is inside is out

Mind to body

Love to pain

Good to evil

Light to darkness

Parts to whole

Her eyes burst open. They stared straight into Spike’s blue ones. He gulped. Her gaze was like a magnet. He couldn’t look away, or blink. She had him fixed at her. There was a rushing of power between them.

Willow’s head thrust upward. Her eyes were white now. “Dead or living? In and out. Truth be told. Come forth what is!”

Spike was suddenly overcome by a retching pain. It was like being torn apart. He growled.

“Red, what is happening?” he demanded.

Willow paid no attention to him. She kept her vision to the stars above.

Another cramp went through his middle. “Willow!?” he yelled.

Her arms rose. “Hectate make it so!”

Spike was thrown backward. Everything went black.

+ + + + + + +

When he was conscious again, he became aware of the aching. Then everything came back. He instantly sat up. Anger shot through him. He was going to have a ’chat’ with Willow. She hadn’t supposed to do that to him.

The witch lay not far from him. She was still. Bloody hell, his mind cried. This was great.

There was a moan. He could tell that it wasn’t from Willow. And if it didn’t come from him. . .

Spike’s gaze went to the right. There, next to him was a man. He was curled into a ball, completely naked. His hair was disheveled, a huge mass on his head.

Spike moved quickly away. He hit something. He twisted to see what it was. A vampire. He was also clad in nothing. He had on his game face.

Spike crawled, trying to avoid both beings. There was something frightening familiar about both of them.

Willow stirred. She gave a whimper. She was shocked to make out three figures, two without clothes.

Spike charged at her. He grabbed both of her shoulders. He was breathing hard, though he didn’t have to. “What the fuck did you do!?”

Willow was scared. He looked as if he were about to snap off her head.

“I. . . I don’t know,” she confessed.

“Excuse me, Miss, my good man, where am I? And where are my clothes? I’m stripped down to nothing. I can’t even find my knickers.”

Willow and Spike were horrified. The man had awakened. He had his hands cupped over his crotch, very embarrassed and confused.

Spike knew that voice. He recognized those blue eyes, even if it had been over a hundred years since he’d seen them.

“Bloody hell, woman!” Spike shouted at Willow. He pointed at the Englishman. “That’s William!”

Willow opened her mouth, but couldn’t say anything.

Spike shook Willow. “Why didn’t you do the simple spell we agreed on?” he asked harshly.

“It started out that way. But something came and took me over. There was nothing I could do. It had complete control,” she explained. She was sorry, she really was. She had known this was a bad idea. Why did she even do it?

Willow surveyed their surroundings. She still wasn’t sure what she did exactly. Somehow William was there. And a vampire, who she was sure was also Spike.

There was a burst of laughing. Spike and Willow hadn’t noticed the vampire get to his feet. He wasn’t the least bit ashamed of his bare body, unlike William, who cowered into the shadows.

The vampire directed his vision at Spike. He grinned, showing sharp teeth. “Finally, I’m free. You can’t conceal me any longer. That bloody chip won’t be able to prevent me from painting the town red.”

William shuttered. He had never seen anyone so hideous. Wrinkles, glowing eyes, and fangs. Monster, that’s what it was.

“What are you saying, mate?” Spike questioned.

The vampire came closer. Willow’s eyes bugged out. Man, what a body! She fought to keep her gaze above the waist.

“I’m you, Spike. I’m the demon that changed William into what you are now.” He sniffed. “I’m free, open to the hunt. I can sense the blood calling me. Time to go find it.” He bolted into a run.

Willow jumped up. “Hey!”

“Let him go, Red,” Spike stated.

Horror appeared on her expression. “What!? He’s going to kill someone. We can’t just ignore that.”

“You’ll never catch him. He’s too fast. Only Buffy has that speed.”

“I have to at least try,” she said.

The feeble image of William came into view. He staggered forward. “I hate to interrupt, but I’m rather cold. Would you be kind enough to show me to some shelter?”

Willow and Spike shared a look. They silently communicated.

A sigh escaped Willow. “Ok, we’ll take him inside. For now. But later, we have to go search for your other half.”

“Sure thing,” Spike said.

They brought the man into Buffy’s house. Willow found a warm blanket to wrap him up with. He appreciated that very much. Then she began to fix some hot chocolate for him.

A pang of guilt swept through her. She felt terrible. Poor William. Had he been pulled here out of his own time? He may have been walking down the street and automatically arrived here. He must be so confused.

Just then Spike stepped into the kitchen. He saw the kettle on the stove. He perked up. “Cocoa?”

“This isn’t for you, it’s for William.”

“Hey now, can’t I have a cup? Can’t be harder to fix a little more for me too.”

Willow shook her head. “Spike, forget it. You are going to your crypt to get some clothes. He can’t go on wrapped in a blanket.”

Spike was skeptical. “Think he’ll wear them? I remember the dress code back then. Wasn’t black jeans and a t-shirt.”

“It will have to do.”

“Fine.” Spike fumbled in his duster for his cigarettes. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.” He walked out the door toward the cemetery.

++++++++

Willow came into the living room. William was on the sofa, huddled under the thick fabric of the blanket. His head shot up as she approached.

A friendly smile came to her lips. She set the steaming mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table. “How you doing?” she inquired.

William blinked. “I uh. . . Was I attacked?”

“Not exactly,” she replied.

“How did I lose my clothes? And my glasses. My glasses are gone too. I can see without them, but not as well.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. How would he take the truth?

“What is the last thing you remember?” she asked.

He thought for a moment. “I was out for a stroll and ended up in an alley. A woman came up. She started to talk to me. Then. . .” His eyes widened. He stared at Willow in fright.

The door flung open. Buffy came in. She hung up her leather jacket, then walked over. She stopped when she noticed William. She was completely frozen.

“Hey, Buffy,” Willow squeaked.

Hysterical giggles came from Buffy. She couldn’t stop once she began. The two occupants of the couch watched, puzzled.

She pointed at William. “Spike, what the hell did you do with your hair?”

“Miss, do I know you?” he asked.

Her laughter settled down. She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Oh, this is rich. You acting this way. Do you think this will win me over? I mean, changing your hair, calling me miss.”

“Buffy. . .?” Willow started.

“And what’s up with the no-clothes routine? Think I’ll jump right to it, because of the temptation? Forget about what you are?”

William’s mouth hung open. This woman was crazy.

“Wish it was that easy, luv.”

Buffy jumped. She spun around to see Spike, the annoying one she was used to. He smirked, glad to have snuck up on her.

The slayer glanced from the couch to the vampire. Her head was spinning. “Oh, God!” she moaned.

Spike held up some dark material. “Got the threads, Red,” he informed.

“Would someone please explain what is going on to me?” William spoke up.

Buffy held up her hand. “Me too!”

Willow stood up. She braced herself. “It was an accident, I swear.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Accident?”

“It was mostly my fault,” Spike confessed. “I asked her to do it.” When it came to Buffy, he seemed to just deflate. He was so whipped, even had to tell the truth, and take the blame.

Now Buffy knew something was really wrong. “What did you BOTH do!?”

“I did a spell, Buffy. It was supposed to be a tiny itty bitty one. But it back-fired and grew into a huge one. I kinda. . . We kinda split Spike into two,” Willow explained. She fiddled with her hands.

Anger built up inside Buffy. She glared at her best-friend. “I trusted you. I thought you were over the magic stuff. I guess hurting my sister wasn’t enough. You had to go and do something bigger.”

Tears formed in Willow’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough this time!” Buffy shouted.

Willow nodded. “I know. I’ll try to fix it.”

“You better!” Buffy snapped. “And if I ever catch you doing another spell, you are out of this house. For good.”

Silence came over Willow. She just sobbed with shame.

Spike touched Buffy’s arm. She shoved him off. Her finger went in his face. “And you, what the hell were you after!? Why did you ask her to do this?”

He sighed, shoulders slumping. “I wanted to see if I had really changed, Buffy. I needed to know if I am good or still evil.”

“Right. Did you find out?”

“Nope.”

Buffy snorted. “Well, I hope you both are happy. You guys didn’t gain anything. Spike’s still as clueless as before.” She gestured to the man on her couch. “And we have here, a chunk of what makes him?”

“Name’s William. William Thornton,” he answered.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “William?” She turned to Spike. “Oh, I see now.”

Spike seemed kind of uncomfortable. “Yeah, that’s right. Meet my former self, the poofter himself, William, the bloody awful poet.”

“Hey now!” William said. “I’m getting better.”

“I’ll tell you mate, words like effulgent get you nowhere.”

William lowered his eyes.

Buffy hit Spike’s arm. “Don’t be mean to him. He doesn’t even know what’s going on.”

She went over to the Englishman. She sat down next to him, laying a hand on his. “We’re going to get you home, William. But until then, you can stay here with me.”

William swallowed. The warm contact of her hand made him nervous. His eyes were brought up to her face. His mouth curved upwards. Her presence made things seem not so bad. He took her hand and kissed it. “Thank you ever so much, my lady.”

Buffy smiled back. “Call me Buffy,” she told him.

Irritation grew inside Spike. “You can’t be serious. He can’t stay here with you.”

“Why not?” demanded Buffy.

“Because. . . Because.”

“Uh huh,” she said.

Spike gestured to William. “He could come with me to the crypt,” he offered.

“Right, a cold, dark, tomb? Sure, I’m sure he’d like that,” she said, sarcastically.

“How would you know? I used to be him, think I’d know more than you bloody would.”

William cleared his throat. “I think I’d rather stay here.” He looked at Buffy. “It’s nice and cozy.”

Spike growled. “Of course you would, mate.”

Spike crossed his arms. “Well, if he is going to stay here, so am I.”

“What!?” shrieked Buffy.

“I’m not leaving you with him alone.”

Buffy got to her feet. “Get the hell out, Spike!”

“No,” he said with a grin.

Buffy grabbed a near-by stake. She held it up, threatening. “Get out now!”

He chuckled. “You won’t do it. You won’t be able to. Not after what we shared.”

Willow’s gaze shifted over to them in curiosity. Shared?

“Shut up!” Buffy yelled. “Leave now or I’ll disinvite you again!”

She dropped the stake and kicked him in the shin. He hissed in pain, but soon recovered.

Standing up straight, Spike said,” Fine, you go ahead and share your cushions with the git.”

Spike threw the clothes at William. Then he stormed out of the house. Damn that girl! And damn William too! He needed a drink desperately. He headed to Willy’s bar.

Dawn came home early the next morning. She put her duffle bag down on the carpet. Her eyes wondered to the living room, where she saw a person on the couch. He was snoring loudly.

Who the heck is that? she wondered. Did Buffy get a new boyfriend? She moved closer. His head was turned away so that she couldn’t make his identity out. She sighed. Oh well, I’ll just have to ask someone.

The teen bumped into Willow on the way to the kitchen. She noticed the grave face that Willow had on.

“Willow, who is that?” Dawn asked. She pointed to the couch.

Willow was near tears. “I don’t know if I can explain without breaking down,” she whispered.

“I can explain,” said a harsh voice.

They turned to see Buffy standing there. She had her arms crossed. “Our little witch here did another spell. This one split Spike into 2 parts. That there. . .” She nodded to the sofa. “is William. And from what I gathered last night, after a long talk with Willow, his other half, the demon, is running around somewhere biting who knows who. “

Dawn stared in silence for a moment. Then she finally said,” You mean Spike isn’t Spike anymore, but his human self and his vampire self? Like when there were Xanders?”

Buffy sighed. “No, Spike is still his irritating self. We just have 2 more of him, that aren’t. . . well, exactly him.”

“Oh, I get it,” Dawn stated. “We have William, before he was turned, and the demon him. But Spike is still Spike. Good. I was scared there for a sec that my best pal was gone.”

“Dawn, stop acting like this is okay. We can’t have a demon Spike going around causing havoc. He may even come after me or you.”

Dawn shook her head. “Spike wouldn’t do that. He loves you and me.”

“Spike wouldn’t,” Buffy confessed. She wasn’t totally trustful of the vampire, but that much was true. He would never intentionally hurt them. At least not much, she thought as images from the crumbling house came back to her. She pushed them away quickly. “But, this isn’t Spike. Or it is. . . God, I’m confusing myself. I don’t know what has happened. All I know is that, there is a demon lose out there. Back when Spike was with Drusilla he tried to kill me numerous times. I’m afraid that he might do that again. And if he does, I’ll have to stake him. And who knows what that will do to our Spike.” She looked over at Willow, wanting the answers.

The red-head replied,” I’ll make this right. I’m going to research this, find a way to undo it all.”

“Fine,” Buffy said kind of coldly. She couldn’t face her friend as she said it. Willow let her down, and she worried that she would again. If Willow could give in that easily. . .

“I’ll be going then,” stated Willow. “If I find anything, you’ll be the first to know.” She left in a flash.

Buffy didn’t move. Why did her life have to be so complicated? She had been trying to sort out her feelings for Spike, and now there were three of him. And her Spike had to go and piss her off again by asking for the spell in the first place. Whenever she begins to like the way he acts, he screws up by saying something or doing something to ruin it all.

There was a moan as William awoke. He sat up slowly, taking in his surroundings. It took him awhile to sort out where he was. He noticed Dawn. “Nibblet?”

Dawn examined this man. He wore a black t-shirt and jeans. His hair was light brown, wavy and falling in his blue eyes. “Spike?”

“What?” William got up and moved over to her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were my sister for a moment.”

Dawn raised an eye-brow. “Sister?”

“Yeh, Elly.”

“You call your sister Nibblet?”

“Sort of a nickname.”

A smile came to Dawn’s mouth. “My name is Dawn. But you can call me Nibblet if you want to.”

“Ah right then,” William said.

Dawn shifted to Buffy. “Buffy, he’s Spike, but he’s like alive. This is amazing!” She was growing exciting.

William frowned. “Who is this famous Spike? Was he that guy here yesterday?”

Buffy nodded. “The very one.”

“Well he wasn’t very nice to you. I don’t think I like being mistaken as him just because we resemble each other. And what kind of name is Spike anyway?” William commented.

Dawn giggled. “Man, you are out of it.”

Incomprehension was on his expression. “I don’t know what is going on, or who you people are. I just want to go home. My mother must be worried.”

This was so weird. Buffy watched the man before her. This was Spike back when he was human. He had a family, one he cared for. I wonder what happened to them, thought Buffy. Surely he didn’t kill them, did he? For some reason she didn’t think Spike would do that. He might have been a monster, but he wasn’t that evil. Her eyes widened. Did she use the past-tense right then?

Dawn grabbed William’s hand. She pulled him to the door. “I have to see something,” she exclaimed.

Buffy followed the two outside. William was in the lawn, beaming with sunshine. Dawn danced around him, happily taking him in.

“What’s the fuss about, little one?” he questioned.

She grinned. “You’re in the daylight!”

“Yeh, I guess I am,” he said. He shook his head. These people were strange.

Suddenly a car drove by. William shrieked. He staggered backwards in fright. “What the bloody hell!?”

“Oh, that’s just a car,” Dawn said.

Buffy came up. She touched his arm gently. “Let’s go back inside. I’ll explain things to you.”

+++++++++

Everything was a jumble. Buffy had just got done explaining things to him. He was in the future. There were vampires, he was one, or will be. Spike was him. She was the slayer, chosen to defeat evil. Spike had a chip in his head, so he couldn’t bite anyone anymore.

He knew that he should be thinking this was garbage. But somehow it made sense. And it scared him more than anything had before.

He recalled the woman in the alley. The last thing he remembered was her face changing. Things were fitting into place, and the picture wasn’t coming out to his liking.

“I knew Cicely had wrecked my life, but I hadn’t known it would be this much. If only I hadn’t had wondered the streets in devastation,” he mumbled to himself.

“I’m sorry. This must be awful for you,” Buffy said.

“So, do I uh. . . drink blood and all?”

“You only go for animal blood now,” chirped Dawn.

William hung his head. All the horrible things he must have done. He became a monster.

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