Chapter 8: Heartbreak blues

Bring!

Bring!

Bring!

Spike picked up the alarm clock and threw it against the wall.

Bring!

Bring!

Wait! If it wasn’t the alarm clock where the hell was that ringing coming from?

BRING!!!!!

Oh right, the phone! Spike looked at his watch through bleary eyes. Who the hell would call him at six in the morning? The sun had just come up and all self-respecting vampires were fast asleep.

BRING!!!!!!!!!!

It felt like the phone was practically yelling at him! He fumbled around on the bedside table for a few moments before finding his cell.

“Wah?” Spike mumbled sleepily into the receiver.

“Spike?” inquired a small voice, thick with tears. Spike was instantly awake, pulling himself into a sitting position and rubbing his eyes.

“Slayer, what’s wrong? Has something happened?” He asked, worry evident in his voice.

“Angel.” Was all he received as a reply before Buffy was taken over by a fit of sobbing. Spike tried to calm her, whispering soothing words and shush noises. He knew his ponce of a grandsire wasn’t dead, he’d have felt it if that were the case. Granted their bond wasn’t particularly strong anymore, but he still would have known. That meant that the harsh sobs coming out of the slayer meant only one thing - the bastard had gone and broken her heart all over again! Spike seethed at the thought that the big brooder had probably done it out of some misguided sense of nobility. It made him want to throw up…then tear the wanker a new one! He had a feeling however, that the slayer wouldn’t appreciate the string of expletives that wanted to burst forth from his lips. Instead he just waited for her to tell him the whole story…

It had taken nearly two hours to drag everything out of her, and Spike felt no satisfaction when he found his original assessment of the situation had been pretty near dead on. He’d offered to torture Angel for her; only half joking, and he had at least gotten a weak chuckle for his efforts, but she had declined.

“It’s not fair Spike.” She was sniffling now. “What right does he have to make my decisions for me?”

“None at all ducks! The poof’s always been like this - thinkin’ he knows what’s best and sod everyone else!” And it was true of both the souled and evil version -one of the many things that Spike hated about Angel. The list was becoming quite extensive!

“Do you think…was it…” Buffy trailed off and Spike waited patiently for her to finish. What she did finally say however, made Spike want to hunt the ponce down and rip him limb from limb!

“Do think it was something I did? Was it something about me?” she mumbled quietly.

“Don’t you dear ever think any bloody thing of the sort slayer!” Spike practically shouted, furious that she could think such a thing. “Any bloke would be lucky to have you, and if he’s a stupid enough wanker to let you go then he’s the biggest fool on the face of the earth! You’ve done nothing to deserve this!”

Buffy sighed sadly. “You have to say that, you’re my best friend.”

“I’m evil pet!” Spike reminded her yet again. “I don’t have to say anything I don’t want to.”

“You really think that?” she asked, and Spike was sure he detected the barest hint of hope in her voice.

“Luv, you’re the hottest bird I know! And you actually have a personality to go with it!” He could hear her smiling on the other end of the line.

“Really?” She asked

“Well yeah!” He said, then added with a smile “Of course I don’t actually know that many people but…”

“Hey!” protested the slayer, and then she laughed.

“I’m serious Buffy.” He said, his tone becoming very sincere, using the name he so rarely called her for added emphasis. “You have nothing to reproach yourself for, don’t let the bastard break you!”

“Thanks Spike.” She said, and he could tell she was beginning to cheer up. “You always know what to say.”

“Yeah well, don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to protect you know!” He told her gruffly, embarrassed at the praise.

“Okay.” She laughed, “I won’t tell anyone the Big Bad is really a Big Softie!”

“Thanks ever so!” he replied sarcastically…

“Spike?” She asked after several more minutes of banter.

“Yeah?”

“Will you come to Sunnydale and see me?” She asked hesitantly, knowing that it was a lot to ask.

Spike took a deep breath before answering. He hadn’t been back to Sunnydale since he’d found out that Angel had come back. He’d been slowly putting himself back together over the last few months. He’d even managed to move back into his own room, but would he be able to hold himself together back in the town that had torn his unlife apart? The internal debate didn’t last long however, he never could say no to the slayer. “Sure ducks, when do you want me to come down?”

“Well…” she paused to think, “we have a slight ascension going on at the moment, and Angel’s not leaving town until that’s over with…so I guess sometime during the summer would be best. A couple of weeks maybe?”

“Okay slayer, I guess I’ll be seeing you then.” Spike hoped his nervousness didn’t show through his voice. If it did, Buffy gave no indication that she’d noticed.

“Yeah. I’ve missed having you around.” She told him.

Spike smiled “I’ve missed you too!”

//Of all the things I've believed in//

Chapter 9: Sunlight and marshmallows

“So have you picked any classes for your first semester yet?” Willow asked Buffy as they strolled through the cemetery on an early patrol. They were Bronze bound later and wanted to get the killing things portion of the evening out of the way quickly.

“Nope!” replied Buffy, popping the ‘p’. She threw her stake in the air and caught it again. Patrol was sooo boring when there was nothing to kill! “Here vampires! Got some tasty treats for ya!” she sing songed.

“You’re awfully chipper tonight.” Willow pointed out, pleased to see Buffy in such a good mood. She had been sure that Angel leaving would have sent her into a funk for weeks, especially since she had been so distraught when Angel had broken up with her. But it was as if Buffy hadn’t even given it a second thought.

“Am I?” Buffy asked. She really hadn’t noticed any extra chipper-ness…well okay maybe a little! But surely she wasn’t THAT excited…was she?

“Yeah,” Willow told her emphatically “you’re practically skipping around the cemetery!”

“Huh.” Buffy shrugged “Guess I’ve just got some excess energy to burn. I wish the evil things would show up so I can kill them and use the extra energy for more fun things, like Bronzing for example!”

“Erm Buffy?” said Willow nervously

“Yeah?” Buffy hadn’t been looking at Willow, but when she turned to her she saw panic etched on her face. “Will what’s wrong?”

Willow pointed to something ahead of them that Buffy hadn’t noticed. “I think you spoke to quickly about the evil things!”

Buffy looked to where Willow was pointing, suppressing the smile that tried to break out on her lips, she tried to force a hard edge to her voice. “Will go!”

“But Buffy…” She tried to protest but Buffy cut her off.

“Go find Giles and Xander.” When Willow didn’t move immediately Buffy turned and glared at her. “GO!” Finally Willow turned and ran from the cemetery leaving Buffy to deal with the vampire casually leaning against a crypt on her own. He let out a low chuckle as she approached.

“Pleased to see me pet?” He asked. His answer came when she ran at him full speed and wrapped her arms around him tightly in a fierce hug. Had he been human he was sure he would have had a few cracked ribs. “I’ll take that as a yes then!”

“Of course it’s a yes dumbass!” She said, releasing him so she could see him properly. It felt like years since she had last seen him rather than a few months. She wasn’t at all surprised that her spider sense hadn’t detected him before Willow had spotted him. It was as if the slayer part of her didn’t recognise him as a threat anymore. “You’re looking better!”

“So’re you ducks!” he replied. He couldn’t believe how happy he was to see her. He hadn’t realised how much he had missed her until now. He was a little taken aback however when Buffy slapped him in the chest. “Hey! What was that for?”

“What were you hanging around here for? You know I patrol here with the scoobies! Anyone could have seen you. Will DID see you!” She said sternly.

“That was the point.” He told her. “There was no one in at your house so I guessed you’d be patrolling.” He pouted, “I just wanted to see you is all.”

Buffy sighed. It was impossible to stay upset with him when he gave her the kicked puppy look. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just risky.”

“Don’t worry so much slayer. Red will just assume we had ourselves a knock down drag out brawl, which you won o’course, and I just high tailed it.”

“I guess you’re right.” She admitted. Buffy glanced at her watch. “Mom should be back by now. If you wanna go hang at my place for a while I’ll wait for Willow and Co to show then I’ll head back and we can catch up.”

Spike frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to be going to the Bronze with your pals tonight?” When she gave him a puzzled look he pointed to his ear. “Vampire hearing.”

“Oh right. Well I can Bronze with the gang anytime but I barely get to see you! I’ll tell them you got in a few good hits and I don’t feel so good. They’ll understand.”

“You’re sure?” he checked.

“I’m sure.” She confirmed. “Now go! Hang with my mother!”

As Spike went to leave, he made one last inquiry. “Does she still have those little marshmallows?”…

An hour later Buffy walked into her kitchen to find her mom and Spike talking at the counter, each clasping a mug of cocoa and Spike with his hand in the bag of marshmallows, happily munching away.

“…and then she said that’s not a cow, and you’re not milking it!” Spike finished and Joyce burst out laughing. Buffy had the feeling she’d missed something.

“I see you guys kept each other entertained!” She said to announce her presence. Spike turned to her with a grin, nodding.

Joyce calmed her self before speaking. “Oh hi honey. Spike was just telling me about the time…”

Buffy held up a hand to cut her off. “That’s ok mom! I’ve heard enough of Spike’s stories for a lifetime.”

Joyce smiled knowingly at her daughter causing Buffy to give her a puzzled frown. Joyce took her empty mug to the sink and rinsed it out before she turned to face Buffy again. “Well it’s late and I’m off to bed. Don’t stay up too late ok Buffy?”

“I won’t.” Buffy assured her. “Goodnight”

“Goodnight sweetie. Goodnight spike.” She said as she left the room.

“G’night.” Spike called after her before shoving another handful of marshmallows in his mouth.

Buffy tilted her head to the side as she studied him. “You are one strange vampire!”

“What’s your point?” he asked innocently.

Buffy just shook her head, choosing not to answer that. “You weren’t telling my mother anything I’d have to stake you for were you?”

Spike grinned devilishly. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

Buffy sighed. “What am I going to do with you?” She asked, turning away from him to get a glass of water.

“You open for suggestions?” he asked. Buffy paused as she heard him. *Was that innuendo?* She shook the thought off however, dismissing it as just normal Spike banter. Filling her glass with water from the faucet, she missed Spike’s eyes widen as he realised what he’d said. By the time she sat down facing him, his surprise had been replaced with concern.

“So how have you been holding up since the poof left?” typical Spike, strait to the point.

Buffy took a deep breath before speaking. That was a loaded question if ever she’d heard one. “Okay I guess.” She would have left it at that if not for Spike’s raised eyebrow telling her to elaborate. “Some days are worse than others she admitted.”

“I know the feeling.” Spike told her. It wasn’t just a platitude; he really did know how it felt.

“Sometimes it’s fine, I can go a couple of days without thinking of him at all. And then something will happen, like I’ll be walking through the park during the day and I’ll see a couple holding hands and I’ll think if we could have had something as simple as that maybe he would have stayed!”

“What do you mean?” Spike asked confused. What did kids in the park have to do with Angel sodding off to wherever the hell he went?

“When he left he told me that I needed someone who could be with me in the sunlight.” She explained. “I guess it wasn’t enough for him to see me at night. I tried to tell him I didn’t look good in direct light anyway but he wouldn’t listen.”

Spike frowned, a thought not quite fully formed, began to make itself known in the back of his mind…something about vampires walking around during the day…

Buffy noticed his strange expression. “You ok?”

Spike shook the thought off, he’d think about it more later. “I’m fine slayer. Now, tell me what you’ve been up to! Kill anything interesting lately?”

He smiled as Buffy enthusiastically began to tell him about this Anilegna beast she’d fought the week before, giving him a blow-by-blow description. He listened to her stories until just before dawn, despite her assurances to her mother that she wouldn’t stay up late. They only stopped since he needed to find shelter for the day. She would have let him stay there if not for the Scooby meeting that had been scheduled for later that morning.

As he started to drift off in his hotel suite sometime later, the thought that had been nagging at him earlier came back with a startling clarity. Vampires walking around in the sunlight…

Chapter 10: Never hurt a vampire’s best friend!

“I think Buffy’s having lusty wrong feelings about Parker!” chirped Willow happily.

“I am not!” claimed Buffy.

“No you’re not!” said Willow, suddenly thinking about what she’d said.

“Oh I so am!” Buffy admitted sheepishly.

“No I mean they’re not ‘wrong feelings’” Willow corrected herself. “You can feel that way about anyone you like. You’re young, you’re single?” Willow frowned. “You are single right?”

Buffy thought about that for a few moments. *Do over protective vampire best friends who get all ‘grrr’ if a guy so much as looks at me count?* she wondered. She liked that Spike looked out for her, worried about her, offered to torture anyone who looked at her sideways…although that last one was slightly on the disturbing side. It meant a lot to her that he wanted her to be happy and not taken advantage of. Ever since the messy ending with Angel he’d insisted on vetting every guy she even considered going out with. “Yeah Will, I’m single.” She said eventually.

Willow grinned, happy that Buffy seemed to be over the Angel missage. She’d actually thought Buffy had been seeing someone secretly not long after graduation since she’d declined going out with the gang several times in a row. But when Willow asked her about it she’d been denial girl. Willow had let it drop, figuring Buffy would tell her about any secret beau she might have if it got serious enough. When Buffy had started spending every day of the last week with Parker Abrahms however, all of her suspicions had been quickly forgotten in favour of this latest love interest.

“You should go talk to him.” Willow suggested, nodding in the direction where Parker could be seen playing pool in a far corner of the Bronze.

“No.” Buffy replied, “We’re not here together, I’m here with you guys…”

Buffy’s resolve had soon faded however when Parker had offered to walk her home. She found her self pleasantly surprised that she was able to speak to parker so freely. She’d only ever been able to speak like this with Xander and Spike before… although those conversations tended to be a little less normal. Parker had even believed her story about the angry puppy! Everything in this relationship seemed to be going right, the only thing missing was the approval of Spike. Parker was the only romantic interest she’d had over the last year that Spike hadn’t given the third degree the second he met them…but that might have had something to do with the fact that Spike had no idea Parker existed. It wasn’t even that Buffy was keeping quiet about it; she would never keep anything from Spike! He just hadn’t been around much the last couple of weeks.

Spike had stayed in town when he had come down to see her during the summer, keeping a very low profile of course - when he found out that Angel had moved there after graduation LA kind of lost its appeal. But for the last month or so he’d seemed to be really distracted. For a while Buffy had been worried that being in Sunnydale was causing him to slip back into his depressed state, but when asked he’d just told her that he was working on a project and promised that he wasn’t killing anyone in the process.

Buffy mildly wondered if Spike would ever feel in the mood to kill anyone ever again. She’d asked him about it last time she had spoken to him. All he’d said in response was that he had no desire to do something stupid enough to make her mad at him. *Hey! Why am I thinking about Spike on my date?* she thought as Parker leaned in to kiss her goodnight when they reached her dorm room after inviting her to a frat party tomorrow night. Before contact could be made however, Willow and Oz came running up with news of an angry puppy named Harmony…

“But Spikey it’s not fair! He was a looser - no one was going to notice!” Harmony whined.

“I noticed!” Spike yelled, uncaring of the various partygoers who had turned to stare. “I told you before we got here not to kill anyone!”

“He’s not dead!” Harmony insisted

“Only because I pulled you off of him!” Spike shot back. He really wished he’d staked the annoying bint the moment he’d met her…but unfortunately a vampire had his needs and he’d been drunk at the time. The only reason he’d even agreed to come to the party with her at all was the off chance that the slayer would be there.

“You’re no fun!” Harmony pouted.

“Oh I wouldn’t say that!”

Spike sighed when he heard the slayers voice. Hopefully she would put him out of his misery and stake Harmony for him! Spike was about to beg her to do just that, but when he turned to face her he saw the dark haired hormone bomb with his arm around her.

“Well well, lets check out the new boy.” He said. Spike instantly went into protective mode and looked the boy up and down. Decent clothes meant the boy had money. Polished features - the boy was good looking and he knew it. He had the air of the vulnerable puppy dog, which Spike didn’t buy for a second. Then there was the fact that he was daring to touch the slayer before Spike had given his express permission.

“Hi, I’m Parker.” The boy offered. Spike just looked at the proffered hand then back up at Parker’s face. Something in Spike’s blue orbs must have startled the boy because he took several steps back. Spike chuckled despite the glare he was getting from the slayer.

Harmony must have taken the glare as an indication that the slayer was about to get stake happy because she took off running. Spike looked at Buffy and raised his eyebrow, their silent indication that she should follow him. Buffy nodded imperceptibly and Spike ran after Harmony. When Buffy caught up with the two vampires outside she and Spike traded several blows for show. Harmony, not wanting to get staked took off running again. Buffy and Spike breathed a sigh of relief.

“Do me a favour slayer and stake that bint!” Asked Spike

“I was planning on it anyway!” She informed him “She bit Willow last night!”

Spike was shocked. “I told her not to touch any of your pals slayer I swear.”

“I know, don’t worry. Willow’s fine.” Buffy grinned, remembering he conversation with Willow. “So you’re Harmony’s new boyfriend?”

Spike shuddered in disgust. “I shagged her once slayer! Once! And I was so wasted I don’t even really remember it! Now I can’t get rid of her!”

Buffy smiled. “Sounds like Harmony - Just be grateful you don’t have a pet rabbit or else I think it would be well and truly boiled by now!”

Spike chuckled before remembering something. “So what’s with the new boy toy?”

Buffy sighed and gave him the details of how they’d met.

“So you’ve been seeing the guy for a week and this is the first time I’ve heard about it?” Spike voiced his disapproval.

Buffy raised and eyebrow at him. “Well if you’d been around more I would have told you about him!”

Spike was instantly contrite. “Sorry slayer. I’ve just been working on something is all…not that I’m sure how much you’ll need it anymore with this Parker bloke.”

Buffy suddenly brightened at the mention that he was doing something for her. “A present for me? What is it?” She asked grinning.

Spike just smiled. “Ask your watcher about the Gem of Amara pet.” He then kissed her on the forehead and moved to leave, he turned back however to add. “Be careful with that boy luv, I don’t like him.”…

Giles had laughed when Buffy had asked about the gem. She’d admitted Spike had told her he was looking for it and didn’t correct his assumption that he’d use it to try and kill her. Buffy knew differently, she also knew that the ring wasn’t the myth that Giles claimed it was - Spike wouldn’t have told her about it if he didn’t believe it was true. Buffy’s head was reeling with the information that Giles had just supplied her with. Spike was looking for the Gem of Amara, something that would make any vampire who had it 100% unkillable. And he was going to give it to her, obviously expecting her to give it to the man who had wanted to take her into the sunlight. Buffy needed space to think. Grabbing her bag she left Giles’s apartment and headed back to campus…

“We had a good time alright.” Parker was saying. Buffy felt like she was going to throw up. She hadn’t been looking for Parker, but she’d found him…hitting on another freshmen only hours after they had slept together. “No need to make a big deal out of it.” Parker turned to leave but Buffy grabbed his arm.

“Was it…is there something I can do? Something I can change?” She asked, trying desperately to force back tears at the thought of being rejected once again.

“No Buff, it was a wild ride!” Parker grinned. “But I think we should see other people ok?”

Buffy wasn’t sure how she would have replied but the need was taken away due to the growling red and black blur which leapt on Parker, knocking him down and was now beating the crap out of him. A small part of Buffy wanted to let Spike beat Parker to death like he was obviously going to do if she left him to it, but unfortunately her slayer morals made her pull him off the human that lay twitching on the ground.

“Leave it Spike.” She instructed him as she held him back from leaping at Parker again.

“But Slayer he…” He was cut off by Buffy.

“I know what he did Spike, but please, I just want to forget the whole thing!” she pleaded.

Spike wasn’t happy about it. He hadn’t killed anyone in over a year but for this boy he was willing to make an exception. Unfortunately the look the slayer was giving him held him in place. “Fine the boy gets to live!”

“Thank you.” Buffy sighed, and then she noticed something. “Err Spike, its sunny out you’re not on fire!”

Spike grinned and held up his hand, forgetting about Parker who was slowly crawling away. “Yep. The Gem of Amara. Official sponsor of today’s Spike Vs Buffy match!”

“Huh?” Buffy asked. “You want to fight me?”

“Well yeah!” Spike replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on slayer! You wont let me kill that tosser, and you’re the only decent opponent round here. I have to hand this ring over in a bit and I wanna spend my time in the sun doing what I enjoy most!”

“Fighting with me?” Buffy asked incredulously.

“Well more like sparring.” Spike pointed out. Buffy sighed and dropped into a fighting stance. Spike grinned and lunged at her…

Chapter 11: The ties that bind

As Spike awoke he realised several things in quick succession. Firstly, he wasn’t where he had been when he fell asleep. Secondly, he didn’t even remember falling asleep. Thirdly, he was REALLY hungry. Fourthly, the overly bright white surroundings were making his eyes hurt. Fifthly, his head was killing him. Finally, all of this meant he had a very bad feeling in his gut!

Slowly he sat up, careful not to make the throbbing in his head any worse. A quick look around didn’t tell him much beyond the fact that he seemed to be in some kind of observation holding cell. He jumped to his feet when a hatch opened above and dripped out a blood bag. He picked it up and sniffed at it quizzically. “Beware Greeks bearing gifts.” He mumbled to himself. Just as he was about to risk it however, a muffled shout stopped him.

“Don’t drink it!”

Spike looked around for the source of the voice but saw nothing. “Why not?” He asked.

“It’s drugged. They starve you till you can’t see strait then they give you that drugged blood to knock you out…that’s when they come for you!” the disembodied voice informed him.

“And who are They?” Spike asked, eager to know who had managed to capture the infamous William the bloody.

“I don’t know” The voice replied.

Spike snorted. This guy wasn’t going to tell him anything useful. Unfortunately he seemed too dumb to be lying to him, which meant what he’d said about the blood was probably true. Spike threw the bag so forcefully against the wall it burst and slid down onto the floor. To anyone watching, he would appear defeated. Anyone who knew him well enough would know he was only planning, biding his time…

Spike’s time came the following afternoon. As he lay sprawled out on the floor of his cell, empty blood bag at his side, he waited as two men in white coats opened the sliding door and began to man handle him onto a waiting stretcher. Just as one of the men leant over to strap him down, Spike made his move. Grabbing the man roughly by the neck he picked him up and threw him into the second man. Spike bolted off the stretcher and quickly searched their pockets. Finding a plastic card he took to be a key of some kind Spike quickly ran for the rapidly closing door…

Spike knocked frantically on the door to the slayer’s dorm room. She’d help him hide for a while; something told him those soldier boys he’d encountered during his escape wouldn’t quit looking for him any time soon.

“Come in!” He heard form the other side. Not wasting anytime, he quickly opened the door to find himself face to face not with Buffy but with a very frightened looking Willow. “Oh god.” She mumbled, trying to back away from him.

“I’m not here for you.” He told her, hoping to calm her before she created enough noise to attract attention, something he really wanted to avoid right now. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to have the calming effect he’d intended. Willow made a break for the door and Spike had little choice but to stop her. If he let her go she would undoubtedly run to the super friends and if they found him before he found the slayer there was a very high probability that he would be dust within the hour. If he could keep Willow here until the slayer showed up then maybe they could get rid of the red head somehow and no one would be any the wiser about his predicament.

“Just sit down!” he yelled, the stress of the day making his temper short. “I’m not going to eat you. I just want to wait for the slayer.” The look on Willow’s face told him that she didn’t believe him but at least she took a cautious seat on the bed. Spike sighed and sat down next to her. He was surprised when she actually spoke.

“It’s because it’s me isn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused.

“I know I’m not the kind of girl vamps want to sink their teeth into.” She whined

“I’d bite you in a heart beat!” he insisted…

That was how Buffy found them an hour later. She walked into the room just in time to hear Spike reassuring Willow about her sex appeal. The scene looked very similar to several that had taken place between Spike and herself and something about it felt wrong to Buffy. Spike was supposed to be /her/ friend, he was only supposed to have cosy chats with her. She didn’t want to have to share him with Willow now. Just as Spike turned away from Willow to face her however, Willow grabbed the bedside lamp and hit him over the head with it, knocking him unconscious. *Guess Willow doesn’t want to share Spike after all!* she thought with a little satisfaction…

“Don’t tie the ropes so bloody tight!” Spike complained from the chair in Giles’ apartment where he had awoken a few minutes earlier, having obviously been transferred there from the dorm. “You’re cutting off my circulation!”

Buffy grinned at him. “Spike, you don’t even have a circulation!”

Spike smirked at her. “Well it pinches!” he looked over at Giles who had instructed the slayer to tie him up in the first place. “Is this really necessary?”

“Yes what a wonderful idea! Let a notorious vampire who has tried to kill us all on multiple occasions roam free around my home!” The former watcher replied sarcastically before heading back into the kitchen.

Buffy checked to make sure Giles was out of earshot before kneeling in front of Spike. “I’m really sorry about this.” She told him quietly. “But it’s the only way Giles would agree to let you in and there wasn’t anywhere else we could take you.”

“Your mums?” He asked hopefully. He and Joyce did seem to get a long after all.

Buffy shook her head sadly. “No good, she’s out of town and with me at college there’d be no one there to keep an eye on you. Giles refuses to leave you unattended.”

“But why do I have to be tied up?” he asked “I’m not gonna hurt anyone.”

“I know.” She told him earnestly. “But they don’t believe that.”

“Can’t you explain it to them?” he pleaded

“They wont believe it Spike. I told them I thought they were safe but they don’t want to take any risks. Please try to understand. It wont be like this forever - as soon as you convince them that you’re harmless they’ll let you go!”

Spike sighed in defeat. He knew she was right. In all fairness he hadn’t really given the scoobies any reason to trust him, and as Giles had said - he had tried to kill them all several times. “Fine, fine I’ll be good.”

Buffy smiled in response, then a sudden idea occurred to her. Looking over her shoulder she reassured herself that there was still no one around to hear before asking Spike something that had been bothering her ever since he had got back from LA.

“Spike, why did you give the Gem of Amara to Angel?” She asked. “You could have kept it for yourself.”

Spike looked at her with a soft smile on his face, one very few people ever saw. “I did it for you pet. You said the poof said you deserved someone who could take you into the sunlight. I figured if he had the ring then you two could be happy.”

Buffy was sure she felt tears in her eyes. “But you hate Angel.”

Spike chuckled yet there was little humour behind it. “Yes pet I hate the wanker more than I’ve hated anything in my whole unlife…but even though I hate him, if there was a chance that he could make you happy I wanted you to have that chance.”

A silent tear slipped down Buffy’s cheeks as she looked upon her best friend. A soulless vampire who should be incapable of such a selfless act. “Why?” she asked, though what exactly she was asking about she was unsure.

Spike understood however. Reaching out as best he could with his arms bound, he gently took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the ring he had given her. Letting her hand go he brought his own hand up and indicated his own ring. He looked her in the eye, his own blue orbs glistening slightly. “Look at the inscription slayer.” He told her quietly. “That’s why.”

Buffy let out a gentle sob; deeply touched by the tenderness he was showing. Spike began to fidget. He didn’t like to see her cry, even if they were happy tears. He had to do something to lighten the mood.

“If I’d known the big brooder was gonna destroy the ring though I’d have kept it for myself!” He said with a smile that Buffy returned. “Wanker!” he muttered as an after thought. Buffy nodded, she had to agree with him on that one!

Chapter 12: Startling revelations

“I can’t believe you escaped from Giles! I’m supposed to be comforting Willow right now.” Buffy chastised Spike as they walked back to her former watchers apartment. “I thought you wanted him to trust you.”

Spike glared at her. “I don’t give a bloody toss whether he trusts me or not! You’re the one who wants the super friends to like me. And the guy was trying to do a spell on me when he couldn’t even see straight - he could have turned me into a stink beetle or something!”

Buffy smirked at him. “I think it would have been a generous ending for you Spike.” She teased. Spike had the irresistible urge to stick his tongue out at her…he went with it and she giggled. She took a deep breath to compose herself as they reached Giles’s door. “Okay, pretend to struggle.” She said as she pulled him inside…

“Will, you know Buffy couldn’t just let Spike go.” Xander pointed out as the irate red head paced his basement.

“Well if Spike’s so important why doesn’t she just marry him?” She ranted in return, lightning flashing in her eyes…

Giles headed out of the bathroom to deal with the two squabbling blondes in the den. If he didn’t know better he’d say they seemed to enjoy their almost playful bantering.

“If you two could just be civil for five…” Giles trailed off at the blurry sight in front of him.

Spike knelt on one knee in front of his favourite slayer, both of her hands clasped in his.

“Spike it’s so sudden.” Buffy gushed “I don’t know what to say!”

“Just say yes,” Spike almost pleaded “and make me the happiest man on earth.”

“Oh Spike of course its yes!” Buffy cried as she leapt into his waiting arms. Giles put his hand out to steady himself, feeling quite sure he would faint. The vampire and slayer were however, blissfully unaware of his presence in the room as their lips met for the first time.

Neither was sure who had initiated that first kiss. It began as just a tentative brush of lips against each other, unsure of how much the other was willing to give, neither wanting to push. After what felt like an agonising few seconds, the tip of spike’s tongue came out to taste the sweet lip gloss on Buffy’s lower lip, gently asking permission for entrance. Buffy gladly opened for him, allowing him to taste the even sweeter cavern of her mouth. Buffy smiled against his kiss and used her own tongue to draw his into a sensual dance, so perfect it felt as if they had been practicing this for years. Spike moaned as she allowed herself to explore the new territory she found. She savoured his taste, it was smoke and whisky and some indefinable new flavour that was uniquely Spike.

*Why did I never do this before?* Spike asked himself as he tangled one of his hands in the hair at the back of her head to draw her deeper into the kiss, his other hand dropping to her waist to pull her small body flush against his.

*So perfect! I never knew it could be this perfect.* Buffy sang inwardly as she wrapped her arms around Spike’s neck, desperate to never let him go.

“This can’t be good.” Giles muttered as the other pair in the room remained oblivious to anything but each other…

Buffy giggled as she left the magic shop, Spike’s arms wrapped around her waist, his lips caressing her neck as he walked behind her. “Stop it Spike.” She protested half heartedly. “We have to get this stuff back to Giles.”

“But we don’t even have all of the ingredients that we need. It wont make a difference if we’re a few minutes late. It’s not like we can do the spell yet anyway.” Spike’s voice was a low rumble against the flesh of her neck which he was now kissing and nipping playfully. Buffy suddenly felt like jelly. She was glad his arms were holding her tightly else she would have been a puddle on the floor by now. “What do you say we go test out the back of the Desoto?” he suggested, his tone conveying his barely suppressed lust.

Buffy lifted one arm up to wrap around neck, pulling him closer to her. “Pig.” She breathed, the desire filled moan that escaped her immediately afterwards belying her words. Spike chuckled against her skin in response, the vibrations going strait to her sex. She was about to drag Spike into the nearest ally, never mind waiting until they reached the car.

“Buffy!”

Buffy’s growl was almost equal to Spikes as they turned to see who had dared to interrupt them. She suppressed a groan of irritation as she saw Riley Finn crossing the road towards them.

“Who’s that tosser?” Spike asked, his arms tightening around her possessively.

Buffy smiled at him reassuringly. “Don’t worry baby. It’s just some guy from college who’s been following me around like a puppy for the last few weeks. I think he has a crush.”

The boy was almost next to them now, but Spike didn’t let that stop him. “You never said anything about it before!” he said, and Buffy could have sworn she heard insecurity in his voice.

She turned around in his arms so she was facing him, taking his face in her hands she looked him dead in the eye. For a moment she was distracted by the swirling mists of blue she found there. *Why didn’t I notice how beautiful his eyes were before?*

“I didn’t mention Riley because I didn’t think he was worth mentioning.” She told him eventually, missing the shocked and hurt expression of the boy who was now standing next to them. “Why would I want anyone else when I have you?” She asked, warmth suffusing her body at the surprised and elated smile of the man who had only a few hours ago been nothing more than her best friend.

The awe in his eyes however was quickly replaced by a desire the likes of which Buffy had never seen before. Buffy grinned, grabbed Spikes hand and pulled him towards his car, not sparing the very confused Riley a second glance.

“Was that Hostile 17?” Riley asked the air around him as he watched the obviously besotted pair run away happily…

Silver and gold were woven together in the back of Spike’s Desoto, naked limbs tangled together intimately as Spike’s head moved between Buffy’s thighs. “Oh God.” She moaned in ecstasy as she arched her back to get closer. Spike held her hips firmly in place as he bought her closer to the edge with his talented tongue. She bit her lip to suppress the scream that fought to escape as she came.

Spike lifted himself up, resting his weight on his forearms as he grinned at her, male pride written all over his face. “I love how you taste.” He told her before leaning forward to kiss her, forcing her to taste herself in his mouth and she complied hungrily. “You mean the world to me.” He whispered in her ear as their lips broke apart and he moved slowly inside of her.

“Love you.” She sighed, loosing herself in sensation.

“Love you so much.” He agreed as they moved together in a rhythm as old as time.

“Never so good.” She mumbled, her body quaking as she neared her second climax.

“Always you…”

Words of love and endearment continued to tumble from their lips as they engaged in their primal dance until they both threw their heads back, each screaming the others name as they fell over the precipice. As they lay together, still intimately connected, panting and holding on to one another for dear life, both had the overwhelming feeling that nothing had ever felt this good; nothing had ever been this right…

Willow appeared in the crypt where she saw Anya and Xander desperately fighting a giant red demon while Spike and Buffy rolled around the floor, kissing passionately.

“Let the healing begin, let my will be safe again.” She chanted. “As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken.”

A blinding flash of light signalled the end of Willows ‘my will be done’ spell…

Willow felt terrible as she watched Buffy curled into a little ball on her bed, sobbing into her pillow. She never would have thought that kissing Spike could have been so traumatic for her friend. Little did she know that the sobs were not caused by Spike kissage but by a feeling of loss so profound Buffy wasn’t sure she would ever feel whole ever again. How was she supposed to go on, knowing that the greatest happiness and contentment she had ever felt had not been real but the result of a stupid, irresponsible spell done by the girl who was supposed to be one of her best friends? How was she supposed to function now that that bliss had been so cruelly snatched away…?

Spike let the silent tears roll down his cheeks unchecked. For the first time in over a year he had been happy, he had been in the arms of someone he loved who had loved him in return. Now he had lost it, the pain in his chest far surpassed that which he had felt when he had lost his dark queen… He knew now why he had done so many things against his very nature for the slayer - standing against his sire, living with her, giving up the ring. Though as surely as he now knew he was hopelessly in love with his best friend, a revelation Willow’s spell had forced him to face, he knew without a doubt that his love was unrequited. Why else would Buffy have pulled away from him so quickly when the spell had ended? Why else would she have been avoiding him for the last few days?

“Damn you Willow.” He muttered as he closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the porcelain tub, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 13: I see inside you

Spike stood at the bar in the Bronze sulking. Not brooding, sulking! There was a distinct difference. He really wished things could go back to the way they were before Red’s disastrous spell. He wanted to go back to a time when he loved the slayer as a friend and nothing more. He wanted to go back to a time before he knew how very sweet she tasted. He wanted to go back to a time when she didn’t seem to avoid him like the plague. It was that last one that was the worst. He could cope with the rest; it was just the incredible loss he felt at not being able to talk to her anymore. But whenever he tried she would mumble some excuse and run off as fast as she could. He accepted that she didn’t want him the way he wanted her, but couldn’t they still be friends?

Spike pondered the strange turns his unlife had taken over the last few months. He’d helped out Giles when he was a Fyarl demon without even demanding any money for it. He’d moved into his own place so he wasn’t mooching of others. He’d even been doing his own patrols. Although the most surprising, this last change was the most enjoyable. Spike had actually found he quite enjoyed killing demons - they put up much more of a fight than the humans had used to. Unfortunately, none of these things seemed to so much as crack the walls Buffy had built around herself.

He was in the middle of formulating a plan that involved locking the slayer in a cupboard until she agreed to talk to him when the bottle of beer that was half way to his lips was snatched out of his hand. He turned to put a health dose of fear into the offender but found himself face to face with a very …sexy looking Buffy just finishing off the bottle. She slammed it back down then turned and leaned her back against the bar so she was smiling up at him.

“Cheers Blondie, I needed that!” She told him in a flirty voice as she blatantly checked him out from head to toe, her gaze lingering around his crotch.

Spike gaped at her. *Blondie?* If it hadn’t been for the big glowing neon sign he saw flashing over her head telling him SOMETHING’S VERY WRONG HERE!!!!! He would have been highly turned on by her perusal and obvious appreciation, judging by the lusty look in her eyes and the licking of her lips. As it was he was having trouble keeping Spike Jr in check. “Slayer?” he asked hesitantly and instantly noticed her tense.

“You’re a vampire.” She said, standing up strait, all humour gone from her face.

“Yeah.” He replied, very confused. “I have been for a hundred years or so now pet. You’ve known that for a while.”

“I have.” She replied quickly. “I just…” She trailed off trying to think of an excuse but Spike barely noticed. He was too busy looking her over as best as he could to see if an injury of some sort could explain her strange behaviour - bang on the head, demon venom or something of the sort. As he looked at her hands, the right one resting on the bar and that’s when he saw it, or didn’t see it actually. She wasn’t wearing her ring. She never took that ring off, same as he never took his off. Even while she had been distant with him she had still been wearing the ring!

For some strange reason he would never be able to explain he came to a very startling realisation in that instant. This wasn’t Buffy. Whoever was in Buffy’s body must have read his eyes the moment realisation hit him because before he could stop her she bolted from the Bronze faster than he was able to follow. Muttering every curse he could think of and then adding a few made up ones for good measure he ran as fast as he could to Giles’s. The watcher would know what to do…

“Giles you have to believe it’s me! Faith switched our bodies.” Buffy pleaded while Giles examined her sceptically.

“Well you’ll understand if I’m disinclined to believe you.” He replied carefully, unsure how she would react. “Is there someway you can prove it?”

Buffy-in-Faith’s-body scowled at him. “My mother thinks you’re like a stevedore during sex. You never did tell me what a stevedore is. Shall I go on?” She asked angrily.

“I’d beg you not to!” Giles replied, collapsing onto a stool by the kitchen counter. Unfortunately for Giles Spike had walked in unnoticed a minute or so before.

“No luv, do continue!” He grinned evilly at Giles “What else does your mum say?”

Buffy turned to look at him, overwhelming relief written all over her face. “Spike!” She breathed, “You knew it was me?”

Spike treated her to one of his soft smiles. “’Course I know luv.”

“How could you possibly have known it was her?” Giles asked, confused.

“She’s wearing her ring.” Spike replied quietly, nodding towards her left hand. Buffy held it up and looked at it. It was true, she was wearing her ring, but how it had gotten there was beyond her. She was still wearing the rest of the clothes Faith had worn when they switched bodies and none of her other jewellery had followed her into this body.

“How did that get there?” She asked quietly, not realising she had spoken out loud until she heard Spike’s reply.

“Some things are too important to let go of pet.” He told her quietly.

Buffy looked up at him, meeting his eyes properly for the first time since Willow’s spell she could see the slight shimmer of hurt amidst the icy blue. She had hurt him by pushing him away since the spell. So desperate was she to avoid letting lusty feelings ruin their friendship, she had made her excuses to escape whenever he got too close, knowing he would be able to smell the arousal that the very sight of him induced, not wanting to hear the ‘let’s just be friends speech’. She’d heard it from too many men too many times - Pike, Angel, Scott, Parker… Having only just recovered from the broken heat Angel had left her with, she was in no hurry to have it inadvertently crushed again…because there was no way Spike would return her feelings, he saw her as the little sister he had to protect.

Buffy had lost count of the times she had cursed Willow’s name since the spell, wishing that these feelings could have stayed hidden so she wouldn’t have had to face them. She’d been determined to keep a safe distance from Spike until she was sure she was over this little crush -*That’s all it is. A crush! A crush bought on by a stupid spell and the best sex ever…shut up! Stop thinking about the sex!*- but seeing that hurt in his eyes she knew it couldn’t go on this way. It wasn’t fair to punish him because she was having trouble keeping her hormones in check.

“Yeah, you’re right. “ She told him “Some things are too important.” Slowly she walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek, much to his surprise. Giles however hadn’t noticed, his head buried in a book, muttering to himself. Buffy’s eyes held Spike’s, silently asking him to accept her apology, his eyes telling her just as silently that all was forgiven. Their gaze only broke apart when they heard Giles have a eureka moment.

“Of course!” he exclaimed. “Some kind of magical device…maybe Willow can come up with a counter spell…” as he trailed off, both Buffy and spike audibly gulped…

Chapter 14: While I was dreaming…

I know I’m dreaming, I always do. Maybe it’s something to do with being the slayer…It’s strange, the last thing I remember before I got here was sitting on the couch with Willow about to watch Apocalypse Now. Kinda funny really - I just averted what could have been the real thing, caused by the military, and now I’m supposed to be watching an army flick…why do we let Xander pick the movies?

It’s hard to concentrate while I’m dreaming; my mind seems to shift in all directions…

Oh. Why am I back here? If I was going to dream about being in the living room with my friends what’s the point in dreaming? I could have stayed awake for this…. oh wait I’m not here…and when did Willow’s hair grow? Oooh she looks nice with that colour, I’ll have to recommend it when I wake up! Hey why does everyone look so upset? Xander looks like he’s going to kill someone with his bare hands…I’ve never seen him that red before…he’s nearly purple!!! Why am I laughing?

Will’s you look so sad, what’s wrong? What’s that CD? Anywhere? Never heard of it. I wonder if it’s any good…ha ha Giles even cleans his glasses in my dreams! What’s up with that?

Who’s the girl in that picture with mom and me? And where is mom? She was here earlier. Maybe I’ll go look for her up stairs…

Hey! When did the upstairs to my house turn into the Bronze? Didn’t I have this dream already? Yep pretty sure I did. Drusilla should be around here somewhere with a stake, and Angel for that matter…oh there he is, sitting at a table with… RILEY?!? God you follow me around all day at college and now you’re following me in my dreams! Remind me why I agreed to go out with you again? Oh yeah, the guy singing on stage! Wait, hold that thought! SPIKE? SINGING? Ooookaaaay. This dream just took a few steps closer to bizzaro world.

Wow! I wish I could hear what he was singing. He looks so into it…actually he looks like he’s gonna cry. Why would Spike be crying? Who is he looking at? Oh, I look hot in that dress! I guess my subconscious really likes me! He he he three guys trying to dance with me at once! And all of them hotties! Man I’m good!

There’s me again. Who knew Spike could dance! Like he’d ever look at me like that anyway! Oi! Riley no touching - hands in bad places! I really want a shower!

It’s smoky in here, I need some air…

Ok when I said I needed air I didn’t mean I needed a whole field! What’s that noise? Cool helicopter. What am I doing here? Who am I screaming at? Shut up already, they obviously can’t hear me! This is getting boring. There’s no one to talk to…

OK I blink and I’m in Spike’s crypt. Very odd! Oh Spike don’t do that…look you’ve hurt your hand! Stupid vampire…hey don’t walk away from me, let me look at that hand…here I am again…ohhh new furniture. God I look miserable! Since when did I wear so much black?

Pretty little girl…hey you’re the girl from the picture at the house! No don’t talk to Spike, talk to me! Tell me what’s going on here!

This is sooooo frustrating! Wish I could wake up…

Oh God! I hate dreaming! No good ever comes of dreaming! Well, there was that one dream where the slayer…ok not thinking about that now!

Incoming…Ow, bloody hell. That looked like it hurt! Where’d I fall from anyway?

Who’s that kid hugging me? Why are both crying?

Hey! One second I’m outside, now I’m in the slayers bedroom…not that I object so much. Oh there’s me…on the bed with the slayer! Aren’t I a handsome devil! Oh pet don’t cry, I can’t ever stand to see you cry! Huh. Lookie here! Why would I ever sing to the slayer? Hey there’s that kid again! What’s she doin’ in the slayer’s house…and why is she listening at the door?

Oi! Don’t run off, I wanna talk to you!

We look like we’re in a hurry…what’s that CD the slayer’s puttin’ in the stereo? Wonder why we’re packing stuff up at…where’s the clock… at three in the morning? And who the hell is that kid? Hmmm, she seems to be in these pictures…

Ok, note to self - don’t blink! It’s very disorienting! Right, where am I? The crypt? Oh look it’s captain cardboard! Oh he even looks like he’s going to make an expression…hey what’s with the stake? Ouch! You bastard what did I do to you? I can’t even hit back thanks to that soddin’ chip!

Huh, I’m not dust…sadistic prick! What the slayer sees in you is beyond me! Told her I didn’t like you! Never trust the military! No I’m not at all jealous! I’m also the queen of Sheba!

Oh bugger! I get the feeling I don’t want to see the names on those graves…At least it’s a night time funeral…wonder if that was for my benefit.

How’d I get to the Bronze? At least the singer’s hot! Bloody hell! I do NOT dance! Wow, slayer is looking shaggable! She’s dancing with me?!?!?! As if that would ever happen!

I look a right state, no wonder I’m at the bar! What did I do, get hit by a bloody big truck? Certainly looks like a car wreck… I’m beginning to see a pattern here! Oh I get it! My subconscious wants me dead…well deader anyway…

Oh now they tie me up! We did this one already whelp! Hey, you cut your hair…still look like a monkey boy though. The watcher looks pissed!

Can’t I get back to those nice dreams where the slayer and I are doing naughty things?

Interlude: Dawn of a new day

// Dear diary,

Buffy just went out. I cannot believe what a primo biatch she’s being! She totally refused to take me to the movies even though mom told her to! Like I want to watch her making out with the giant Boy Scout anyway! She’d so freak if she heard me call him that! I don’t know why, she never yells at Spike for it - I even saw her trying not to laugh when Spike called him captain cardboard! Where did she think I heard it from in the first place?

I suppose I can’t blame her for being easy on Spike though. I mean who wouldn’t be? He is sooo hot! Way hotter than Riley! And if I hear another story about ‘what my grandpa used to say on the farm’ I’m gonna toss my cookies! Spike’s stories are way better too! His are all scary and creepy and stuff! It’s like having the bogeyman telling you stories about himself! I know Buffy thinks it gives me nightmares but it so doesn’t! Also another reason why Spike is cooler than Riley - he doesn’t call me kid or kiddo or any of those stupid names. He calls me nibblet or platelet or snack-size - names just for me. It’s better than the names I’ve heard him call Xander anyway!

It’s like he knows I’m younger but I’m not as much of a kid as everyone else seems to think! He’s so cool.

This one time, I sneaked out of the house to go to this party that mom said I couldn’t go to, just because it was a boy’s party - it was totally unfair. Anyway, I kinda got lost on the way there and ended up in this cemetery. I was really freaked out. But I wasn’t scared. No way…well not until this vamp jumped out and grabbed me. I really thought I was gonna die but then Spike appears out of nowhere and stakes him before the vamp even knew he was there! He didn’t yell at me for being out or anything, he just took me home and promised not to tell mom or Buffy as long as I agreed not to sneak out again. And I’ve kept my word…mostly!

It’s so totally obvious that there’s more going on between Spike and Buffy than they’re telling anyone. I don’t mean they’re doing it - eeew that would be so gross! And Spike can do so much better! I mean the year that Angel went evil Buffy was all - I hate Spike! I’m gonna kill Spike! Spike is going down! Then she comes back after the summer and its all no Angel you cant kill spike! As if he could! I bet Spike’s way tougher than Angel. All you’d have to do is mess up his hair and he’d run off screaming like the grand poof he is!

And she wont let anyone else kill him either! I’m not dumb; I know Spike used to kill people even if he doesn’t anymore. Buffy’s friends think she should just stake Spike but she won’t hear of it. She says it’s just because she doesn’t want to kill a harmless creature but even if the Scooby’s buy that I don’t! Yeah they’re always fighting but if you watch them rather than listen to what they’re saying it’s as if they’re having fun while they’re doing it. Of course everyone else is too busy yelling at him to notice!

Buffy is so dumb for being with Riley when there’s someone like Spike around! When I asked her she said it was because she wanted to be with someone normal and this guy she was too scared to ask out this guy she had a crush on so she went out with Riley instead. I know she doesn’t love him, I’ve read her diary! She even admitted in there that she thinks he can be boring! She’s just so desperate to have a normal life that she’s clinging on to Riley like he’s her last hope or something! Hello? Slayer! Never going to be poster child for normal!

What was I talking about again? Oh right, the movies. I’m not that bothered anymore. Maybe Spike will come over and talk to me. He does that sometimes when Buffy goes out with Riley. He always seems to know when she has a date ‘cause he always shows up here while she’s gone and doesn’t leave until she gets back. Even if I get sent to bed he’ll hand around out front under the tree - I’ve seen him. Then he’ll sit out there and talk to her for at least an hour. She always looks way happier after one of their talks than she does after one of her dates! I wish I could hear what they talk about! Buffy always says its ‘work stuff’, which is big sister code for ‘none of your business’. I would ask Spike but I think he’d actually tell me to ‘mind my own bloody business!’

Oh I hear a nock at the door, let me go see who it is…

…Yay! Spike’s here and he brought cards! He says he’s going to teach me how to play poker so I can fleece all the kids at school. Spike’s so cool!!!!//

Chapter 15: Chip off the old Spike

Buffy had faced a lot decisions in her short life. She’s chosen to face the master even though she knew it meant her death. She had chosen to be with Angel despite his undead status. She’d chosen to return to Sunnydale instead of staying in LA. She’d chosen to be with Riley when he’d been so persistent. It was only after these events that she wondered how different things might have been if she’d made different decisions. She knew that every decision she made had repercussions that she couldn’t always see ahead of time. Some decisions were a lot harder than others. This decision seemed like a walk in the park compared to some of the others.

“Do it.” She told the small doctor who had been watching her intently, waiting for her word to act. He didn’t hesitate when she did speak, he didn’t even respond - he simply went back into the operating room to work on his patient.

Buffy looked through the glass windows for a few more moments. She knew if the others ever found out they would think her insane, they would scream and shout and ask what had possessed her to make such a dangerous choice. If they ever found out her answer would be simple. She knew him, they didn’t. She knew what he was capable of but would no longer do. She knew that the choice she had made was right. He looked up at her at that moment, catching her eyes before she moved away. Although the anaesthetic was already beginning to take hold the message in his eyes was clear. ‘Thank you.’

With one last smile as he dropped off to sleep Buffy turned and headed in the direction of the other patient, the one she was less inclined to see…

AS Buffy tapped on the door to Riley’s room she took a deep breath. The door was snatched open and she was left face to face with one very pissed off looking former commando.

“Buffy.” He said stiffly, standing aside to let her in.

When the door was closed behind them they both took seats facing each other, the tension in air so thick you could cut it with a knife. It was Buffy who broke the silence.

“I know you don’t think it was the right thing to do -“

She got no further however since Riley chose that moment to explode. Rising from his seat, towering over her. If she were anyone other than the slayer she might, possibly, have been a little intimidated.

“Not the right thing to do?” He yelled. “That’s got to be the understatement of the century. He’s a killer Buffy, and you’re letting him loose!”

Buffy was seething. “He hasn’t been a killer for a long time Riley.”

“Because of the chip.” He countered.

“No.” Buffy insisted. “It’s nothing to do with the chip. Spike stopped killing a long time before that for no other reason than he chose to stop!”

Riley snorted. “And you believe everything he says of course!”

“I don’t need to believe him Riley. I’ve seen it for myself! I can tell you the exact date he stopped if you like!” Buffy shouted, loosing her temper with the self-righteous ass in front of her.

“Xander says…” Riley began but was cut off.

“And we all know Xander is the most clear headed of people when it comes to Spike! He hates him more than you do!” She shot at him.

“With good reason Buffy! Spike tried to kill him! He’s tried to kill all of you!” Riley implored, trying to make her see sense.

“And how many times has he saved our lives hmm?” She asked. “In fact you’d be dead now if it wasn’t for him! He’s the one who found you in those caves and took you to the hospital because you were too in love with your super powers and did a runner!”

“That’s not the point!” He insisted

“Oh I think that is the point.” Buffy said, smirking. She could see where all this was coming from now. “You’re jealous of him. You’re jealous that he’s stronger than you!”

“Please. That’s rubbish.” Riley tried to laugh it off, but he wasn’t convincing anyone.

“You’re pissed because he didn’t let it beat him, because he is stronger than you.” She sneered. “Because he’s just better than you!”

“How did he do it?” Riley asked in a dull tone of voice.

“How did he do what?” she asked, confused.

“How did he get you to believe all of this crap? How did he convince you he was anything other than a monster?” He spat the last word with contempt.

Buffy shook her head, wondering why she had let this man into her life. “He’s more of a human being than you’ll ever be.” She told him before walking out; planning to never set eyes on Riley Finn ever again…

When Spike woke up he felt very disoriented. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool and a samba band seemed to have set up camp inside his skull. He forced open his eyes but instantly regretted it when bright lights assaulted him.

“Turn the bloody lights down.” He mumbled to whoever could hear him. He let out a sigh of relief when someone complied and tried again. This time when he opened them he was met by a much more pleasant sight.

“How are you feeling?” Buffy asked him quietly, guessing he was in pain.

“Like someone drove a railroad Spike through my head.” He told her with a half grin which she returned readily.

“The doctor told me it might be like that for a while I’m afraid. You’ll probably be weak for a few days.” She told him.

“Do the scoobies know yet?” he asked, hesitant to know the answer.

“No, I haven’t told them.” She replied. “I…I don’t think they’d understand.”

“They’re gonna notice eventually luv.” He pointed out gently. “I mean when the whelp pushes me too far and I stick one on him and don’t end up rolling on the floor in agony they might get a tad suspicious.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” She told him firmly. “There’s just so much going on right now with mom and Riley. I don’t think I can handle that argument just yet.”

Spike nodded, conceding the point for now… but then something she said struck him. “What’s going on with captain cardboard?” he asked, surprised when he didn’t get the obligatory swat for his use if nickname. “Didn’t he get to the doc in time?” At her raised eyebrow he added, “Pretend I care!”

Buffy shook her head and chuckled gently. “He got there in time but…we broke up.” She told him.

“Can’t say I’m too surprised pet.” He told her gently. “Never did think he was the right man for you.”

Buffy chuckled. “I know…but he was there.”

“You shouldn’t be with someone because they’re there pet!” he chided gently “You should be with them because you love them.”

Buffy sighed sadly, looking away from him. “But what if they don’t love you back?” She asked so quietly he almost didn’t hear. Assuming she was talking about Angel he was quick to reassure her.

“The great poof loves you. He told me when I went to give him the ring. He’s just too bloody noble and all that crap!”

*I wasn’t talking about him* she thought sadly, but she didn’t tell Spike that. He had more important things to worry about than her silly crush.

“Can you walk?” She asked, changing the subject.

“I guess so.” He replied, carefully standing. “But I don’t think I’ll make it too far on my own.”

“It’s ok.” She told him, smiling. “I got you.”…

Riley seethed as he watched Buffy leave Spike’s crypt after helping him home. *Probably tucked him in and read him a bedtime story* he thought bitterly. He should have guessed it would end like this when he’d seen them together outside the magic shop the week before Buffy had finally agreed to go out with him. She’d explained it all as a spell…but Riley knew better - he saw the way they looked at each other. He knew Spike must have done something to Buffy. There was no way she would let an animal like him touch her otherwise! Riley knew he’d never want some vamp’s cast offs - he and Buffy could never be together anymore…but he would still make Spike pay for ruining the happiest days of his life…

“Well if it isn’t the toy soldier!” Said Spike as Riley stormed into his crypt. “To what do I owe the displeasure?”

Riley didn’t answer however, he just dragged Spike out of his chair where Buffy had left him with his ‘Passions’ and beer and blood. He threw Spike against the central pillar of the crypt. Spike tried to struggle free, but he was still weakened from his operation, his hits not having much effect on the enraged man in front of him.

“Do you really think you have a shot with her?” Riley sneered. Spike didn’t need to ask what he was talking about.

“No I don’t.” he replied honestly, calmly. “And I think she deserves better anyway. All I’m ever gonna be to her is her friend.”

“Friend?” Riley asked, incredulous. “What does a monster like you know about being a friend?”

“Obviously enough to piss you off!” Spike replied, perhaps unwisely. “At least she still cares about me, which is more than you can say!”

“You’re scum Spike.” Riley told him. “You don’t deserve to live!” When Riley raised the stake, Spike had an incredible sense of déjà vu…

“Hey Spike, I got your buffalo wings.” Buffy called as she entered the crypt. She let out a gasp when she saw Spike crawling his way over to his chair, a trail of blood following him, a large puddle having formed by the pillar. She quickly ran to his side. “Oh God Spike!” she cried, carefully helping him into a sitting position. “What happened?”

Spike tied to laugh but ended up coughing instead. When he was finally calm his voice was tired, the blood loss making him even more weak than he already was. “I think captain cardboard took the break up kinda hard.” He told her, and Buffy saw red.

“Riley did this?” She demanded. Spike only nodded weakly, already falling asleep. Buffy gently carried him to his sarcophagus and laid him down. Finding a pillow in the corner to lay under his head and a blanket, she made him as comfortable as she could. She moved his blood near by so he could get it without moving when he woke up in case she wasn’t back in time. She was loath to leave him, but Riley was going to pay…

Buffy screamed in frustration as she watched the helicopter flying off into the distance. She’d missed him by all of a few minutes. She desperately wanted to see him bleed, to hurt him like he’d hurt Spike! She REALLY hoped he came back…

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