-The Evil Within Series-
Story 1

Summary: Remember ‘The First Evil’ from Amends? ‘The First Evil’ is back, and trying to torture Spike. Will it succeed? Will Spike survive it? Will Spike just tell it to ‘piss off’? Will Buffy and the Scoobies finally accept him?

Beta'd by my favorite Beta'er: Torra !(Also known as 'the Evil One') Thank you, your Evilness!

Chapter 1: Haunted

“My Spike… why do you fight it so? Why do you fight your true nature?” Dru cooed softly in his ear.

Spike knew he was dreaming. Everything was dark and he heard her voice calling out from the darkness- haunting him.

“They’ll never except you, you know. They can’t. They won’t. They don’t need you, my Spike. Return to me. Become who you truly are.” Dru’s voice continued softly.

“No, that’s not who I am anymore. Go away Dru.” Spike said harshly.

“Why…? Why do you try so hard? For those who despise you?” Her voice became harsher.

“I’ve changed. I’m in love with the Slayer.”

“Lies! All lies! Why do you punish Ms. Edith so? She cries all night now because our family is broken. You don’t really love the Slayer… how can you? You have the blood of the other two on your hands.” Dru appeared to him now, her tall thin body covered in shadows. She moved towards him seductively.

“Dru…don’t.” Spike warned.

“Do you remember the first? Her blood was so delicious. It swam throughout my body like little fishies. Chinese girls taste good.”

“Jeing Mei.” Spike said automatically, with out thought.

“You remember that night?” Dru ventured.

“How could I forget…?” Spike said in a sad, far away tone.

Suddenly the darkness lifted and he saw laying before him the body of Jeing Mei. Spike looked around and saw that he was in the Buddhist temple he killed her in during the Boxer Rebellion. He looked back down at the Slayer lying, dead on the ground.

Dead. Dead, but still warm.

“Tell my mother I’m sorry...” Jeing Mei’s voice echoes in his mind until suddenly her face morphs into Buffy’s. “Tell my mother I’m sorry…” Buffy’s voice says to him. A deep burning pain fills Spike’s heart, something akin to regret and remorse.

Spike awakens with a start, sitting straight up in his bed. He takes in deep un-needed breaths to calm his panic.

“Bloody hell…” Spike pants. He tossed the blankets aside and jumped out of bed. He climbed up the steps to the upper-level to retrieve his blood out of the refrigerator and glanced out the window to the now setting sun. It was almost time to go on patrol.

He downed his first jar of blood in moments, and was moving toward his second when he realized there is another presence in his crypt. He turned to search the shadows, but could see nothing.

“Come out where I can see you. I know you’re there.” Spike says while replacing the second glass jar back into the fridge. He was about to give whoever was lurking about an earful, and maybe a fistful, about coming into his crypt uninvited. Who he saw step out of the shadows, however, rendered him speechless…well, almost.

“Cecily?”

* * *

“Dawn!” Buffy yelled up the stairs to where her sister resided in her room. Seconds later, however, Dawn was clambering down the steps, standing before her sister.

“You bellowed?” Dawn asked as she came to the bottom step. She watched with even eyes as Buffy put on her jacket and picked up her slaying bag.

“You know the drill. In bed by 11, no HBO, and don’t forget to wash your dishes!” Buffy said the last with exasperation. Dawn constantly left her dirty dishes in the sink, never thinking about who washed them. Namely Buffy.

“What about…” Dawn trailed off, motioning to upstairs with a nod of her head. She was asking about Willow.

Buffy grimaced as a fresh wave of pain reminded her that her best friend had tried to make her forget about being in Heaven, but the spell had gone wrong, as usual with Willow’s spells.

Willow had been crushed when she realized that She hadn’t pulled Buffy out of Hell- she had pulled her out of Heaven, and had been depressed about it ever since. After Tara left her for breaking her promise to stop using magic, her depression increased tenfold. She barely ate anymore and spent most of her time locked away in her room.

But try as she might Buffy couldn’t conjure up any sympathy or compassion for Willow. Buffy felt cheated. Twice. Willow had stolen away her well earned peace by resurrecting her, and tried to take it away again with the forget spell. In fact it took a lot out of Buffy to try to not hate her best friend.

“I don’t know Dawn…listen, I’ve got to go.” Buffy said as she turned and opened the front door. “Good night.” She called to Dawn over her shoulder.

“ ’Night. Be careful.” Dawn called back before the door closed behind her sister.

Dawn sighed and crossed her arms. She stood there for a moment, glancing up the stairs, thinking about asking Willow if she wanted to do something, but then thought better of it. With a bored huff she turned and walked into the living room, flipping on the TV to HBO.

“Ooh, Sex and the City.”

* * *

Buffy sighed in annoyance as she dusted her seventh vamp of the evening. Spike had not shown for patrol and it was seriously annoying her.

“Damn peroxide pest. Where the hell is he? I am *so* gonna stake him for this...if he’s not already dust...” Buffy mumbled to herself as she stalked off in the direction of Spike’s crypt.

Damn him for making her worry about him. Didn’t he know she had enough to worry about? Why the hell was she worrying about him anyway? He’s evil. He’s an evil vampire. He’s an evil vampire that has tried to kill her more then several times. He’s an evil vampire that for some obscure reason she was attracted to, and liked to kiss him. Among other things…

Damn it! Bad Buffy! Bad thought! No Spike!

With another exasperated sigh (seemed like she was doing that an awful lot lately) she slammed open Spike’s crypt door, walking in without hesitation. She never told anyone, but she always slammed open Spike’s door for two reasons- the first was to announce her presence- why break with tradition? And the second…well, lets just say that she sometimes hoped to catch him at embarrassing moments. Well, and it was fun too. That nice, satisfying BAMB sound it made as it hit the stone wall. Okay, three reasons. But tonight she had no such luck. The top level was empty. A couple candles were lit, which meant that he was here. He never left candles burning while he was out. So that meant he was in the lower levels.

“Spike?” She called out as she got closer to the trap door in the ground. She listened closely and heard his voice growl, in what sounded like a heated conversation.

“Listen, I don’t give a damn about who you are. Leave me alone.” Spike growled. Buffy listened and was confused when she didn’t hear anything else for a few moments.

“Don’t try to pull that guilt crap on me, soulless vampire here, remember? So piss off!” Spike shouted.

Buffy was very confused now. Spike was talking to himself? Maybe he stole a cell phone or something… but who would he be talking to?

“Yeah, yeah. You said that already, ducks. ‘First Evil’, blah, blah, blah…. Christ. Now the Slayer has me talking like her….” Buffy heard another brief pause. “Don’t you bring the Slayer into this you bloody bint.” Spike said with real malice in his voice. What was that he said about The First Evil?

“I said, sod the bloody hell off! You’re little guilt trip isn’t working princess, so go torment someone else, eh? Try someone who cares.” Spike said in an annoyed tone.

Buffy was overly curious now...screw the cat.

“Spike?” Buffy called out as she descended the stairs to the lower level. When she first saw him, his back was turned from her and he was standing in the center of the room facing a wall as if talking to someone standing there.

He whirled around to face her. “Buffy.” He said in a much softer tone.

“Who were you talking to?”

“She can’t see me William. Only you can see me.” Cecily told him.

“What? Oh, uh, no one.” Spike replied to Buffy. Buffy gave him a skeptical look.

“Why didn’t you meet me for patrol?”

“Patrol? Oh..! Right. Sorry, must have slipped my mind.” Spike said. Buffy gave him another skeptical look. She was good at those.

“You never forget about patrol. In fact you’re usually early and have already started by the time I get there. What’s with you?”

“What’s wrong pet? Worried about me?” He offered her one of his more charming smirks. She could feel herself blushing.

“Ugh, no! I wasn’t before, but I think I am now, seeing how you were talking to yourself down here, Spike.”

“Well, I--” Spike started to say but ‘Cecily’ cut him off.

“She wouldn’t understand. You can’t tell her about me, William.”

“Stop calling me that.” Spike growled to Cecily. Unfortunately Buffy thought Spike was talking to her.

“Oookaayyy, what do you want me to call you then?” She ventured.

“What? Oh, never mind.” Spike sighed.

“Ok, what’s wrong with you? And don’t tell me nothing, cause something is definitely up.”

“Slayer, you wouldn’t understand.” Spike said wearily.

“That’s never stopped you before.” Buffy retorted. Spike raised both his eyebrows.

“True.” He shrugged.

“You can’t tell her about me William, she will think you’ve gone insane.” Cecily protests.

“Shut up you bloody bint, I’ll do as I damn well please.” He snorted at Cecily. At Buffy’s still confused look Spike continued. “Er, right. Well, let’s see…how to say that something claiming to be the ghost of the woman who cold heartedly rejected you when you were human, thus leading to you getting turned, has just shown up on your doorstep and has been 'tormenting' (said with air quotes) you for hours about the thousands of innocents you have killed during your lifetime. Oh wait, I guess I just did say it. Bugger.”

Buffy paused, gave his long, run-on sentence great thought, before finally retorting with a profound and heartfelt, “Hu?”

Spike chuckled.

“Don’t worry pet, I’m right there with you on that.” Spike said, glancing back over at Cecily.

“So wait…you’re telling me that you’re seeing some girl that dumped you when you were alive?

“You see, I told you she wouldn’t believe you.” Cecily said. Spike ignored her.

“Yeah. Remember that conversation we had at the Bronze, what with you wanting to know about the two slayers?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s that bint I mentioned. Cecily.”

“Yeah, hey, you never did tell me that whole story. How did she break your heart, anyway?” Buffy asked. Spike started to shift uncomfortably.

“Er, that’s kind of off topic, luv. I’ve got bigger problems right now. Namely this annoying chit that’s hanging over my shoulder.” Spike says, gesturing over his shoulder, where Cecily stood.

“Right, sorry.”

“William…you’re hungry, aren’t you?” Cecily says in a suggestive voice. Spike sighs.

“What of it?” Spike looks over his shoulder at Cecily.

“You have the Slayer sitting here in your Crypt…. Slayer blood is the best blood around, you know that.”

“Oh sod off you annoying, eternally-bad-hair-day-ed bint! I’m talkin’ to the Slayer here! And last time I checked, you were no slayer.” Spike sneered and turned his back to the apparition. Unfortunately, Cecily had never been one to give up when she had someone to torment emotionally.

“Look at her standing there…You know she’s drawn to you… she wants you to do it…she wants you to bite her. To drain her…” Cecily purred.

“Stop it.” Spike growled at her. He didn’t want to drain her, but the idea of tasting her, her the greatest of slayers, was still a temptation.

“Spike?” Buffy waved her hand in front of him to get his attention again.

“Er, right, sorry, luv. She’s a persistent chit.”

“What is she saying?” Buffy asks.

“Er… uh… nothing… she’s just…er…bugger.” Spike says sitting down on his bed and covering his face with his palms. Buffy walked closer to him.

“Spike…?”

“William…”

“Stop calling me that!!” Spike shouts, and Buffy quickly jumped a couple steps backwards at his intensity.

“Spike, I think we should ask Wil--”Buffy stopped abruptly. No more Spells from Willow, she reminded herself. “…I mean, we should ask Tara for a spell. We could find out who or what is haunting you. Get her to leave somehow.”

“You can’t get rid of me.” Cecily insisted. Spike grimaced at the thought.

“Right then, get Glenda Two over here...and right quick, if you don’t mind. I'm getting rather PUT OUT," he glared at Cecily, "at not being able to have a BLOODY MOMENTS PEACE in my own home."

* * *

Back home, Buffy taped her foot in annoyance. *Come on, pick up Tara…* Buffy thought as she listened to the ringing through the earpiece. *Pick up, pick up, pick uuuuuup* On the fourth ring, Tara finally answered.

“Hello?” Tara’s sleepy voice asked.

“Tara? It’s me, Buffy.”

“B-Buffy, Hi! H-h-how are-are you doing?”

“I’m okay. Listen, I’m sorry to be calling so late at night....uhm...early in the morning, but I need your help.”

“Ahh, s-sure, what’s up?”

“I need you to do a Spell…” Buffy said, and told Tara the whole story about finding Spike talking to Cecily.

“So you think it’s some kind of haunting or s-something?” Tara asked after she had listened to the whole story.

“Well, sort of. You know…all of this sounds really familiar…I just can’t place it. Someone or something is trying to do a number on him though. So do you have any ideas?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah. I-I think that maybe a r-reveal s-spell might work. Let us see what he’s seeing, m-maybe it’ll give us an idea of what we’re dealing with.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Can you meet me at his Crypt in an hour?” Buffy asked.

“S-sure, I’ll be there.” Tara said.

“Great. Thanks so much Tara.”

“N-no problem. I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright. Bye.” Buffy said as she hung up the phone. She glanced at the clock on the microwave and sighed. 6:30 am. Dawn would be awake soon, even though it was Saturday. Buffy quickly scribbled a note for her and left it on the refrigerator. She then headed back out, towards Spike’s crypt.

* * *

“I told you, I don’t care about what happened in Prauge.” Spike practically shouted. ‘Cecily’ hadn’t relented any since the Slayer left. In fact, she seemed to be trying harder.

‘Cecily’ sighed. “You know, this just doesn’t have the same effect with a soulless vampire. This was so much easier with Angelus. You *are* his Childe, aren’t you?” Cecily asked wearily.

“First off, no I'm his *grandchilde*, and you tried this with the Poof? Does he even know you?” Spike asked, amused.

“Yes I did and no he didn’t, but that's not the point, William, and you know it. And I would have succeeded if the Powers That Be hadn’t stepped in.” Cecily’s voice seemed to change in tone, bitter and powerful all at the same time.

"Yah, it always would have worked if those meddling kids and their dog hadn’t stepped in. I’ve heard it before, kitten." Spike's voice was sneeringly lightheartedly, but he was now eyeing her wearily. The more time he was forced to spend with her, the more he seemed convinced that this woman was *not* Cecily, but something else entirely. She did mention earlier something about the First Evil...whatever that was.

“So what...Brood boy got a little broodier? Did your torture for him consist of making him have a sense of humor? Or a personality?” Spike chuckled.

“No, I made him relive his past.” Cecily says.

“Oh. I see, the whole guilty trip thing worked with the poof, did it?”

“It was his weakness.”

“And you’re trying to find my weakness, eh kitten?” Spike asks, amused. Just then he heard Buffy slam open his Crypt door above. A small grin that he couldn’t hide lit up his face for a moment. ‘Cecily’ looked at him with a critical eye, but Spike’s grin quickly faded when he saw her studying him.

Buffy traipsed down the steps to the lower level, and found Spike with more or less the same look of exasperation he had earlier.

“Tara will be here soon. So is she…?” Buffy gestured around the crypt with a sweep of her hand.

“Yeah. She’s still at it. Or trying to be anyway.” Spike said in annoyance.

“That’s it. That is your weakness…” ‘Cecily’ said to herself, a triumphant grin spread across her face.

“What are you on about now?” Spike grumbled to her, only half interested.

“The Slayer. She is your weakness.” ‘Cecily’ said in a cool and even tone. The look that crossed Spike’s face, however, was a mix between fear and shock. She had him.

“Spike…?” Buffy started to get worried when she saw the grave look on his face.

“H-hello? Buffy? Spike?” Tara’s voice called out from the upper level.

“Down here Tara.” Buffy called out to her, still keeping an eye on Spike. He truly looked worried.

Tara came down the ladder and smiled shyly at Buffy.

“Hey.” She greeted, holding up a small rucksack. “I-I brought the stuff.”

“Great. You showed just in time. I think something is going on. He looks real worried.” Buffy commented.

“William, William...” ‘Cecily’ shook her head banefully. “The Killer of two Slayers. What is it about this girl?” ‘Cecily’ asked as she walked closer to Buffy, circling her. But Buffy was oblivious to it as she worked with Tara to set up the stuff for the spell.

“You leave her out of this.” Spike said gruffly.

Tara looked up at Spike and then at Buffy. Watching Spike talk to air was interesting, to say the least.

“He’s talking to her, don’t worry. Let’s just get this done, ‘kay? I wanna know what’s going on, and who to pummel.” Buffy tells her. Tara nods and starts lighting the candles.

“Okay, I’m ready. Just stand inside the circle. I’m going to recite a spell. All you have to do is say the last part. I’ll tell you when.” Tara informs her and Buffy nodded.

“Goddess Hectate, lift the veil of deception so that others may see what is hidden. Let the fog be parted, let the truth be revealed, let the deception be cast out, let the reality come to light. Reveale!” Tara said and raised her palm, opened it and blew the green colored dust off. The dust flew throughout the crypt, snaking around everything. It finally gathered and started to congregate in one spot, about two feet away from where Spike was facing. All of the dust settled there, and a bright flash blinded them for a second. When it died down Tara could see a woman standing there in classical Victorian era dress.

“Oh my.” Tara said in surprise.

“You see her?” Buffy asked.

“Y-yes. Okay, now you say ‘Let the reality come to light. Reveale.’ And You’ll be able to see her too.” Tara told her.

“Ok. Let the reality come to light. Reveale.” Buffy said in a monotone voice, and a small flash of light flashed before her eyes, blinding her. She blinked hard to make the spots go away. When she opened them again, she saw the woman Spike called Cecily standing before Spike. She could also hear her. The two had been involved in a heated conversation while Tara was doing the spell, but before Buffy had only heard Spike’s side. Now that she could hear both, it made a lot more sense.

“I told you to shove off!” Spike was shouting.

“Oh come now, William. Why would I want to leave now, just when it’s starting to get interesting? Why would you remember the name of the first Slayer you killed if you didn’t care about it somehow?” ‘Cecily’ asked innocently.

“I told you, it was a memorable experience. Why wouldn’t I remember the bint’s name?” Spike said impassively.

“Oh no, William. Don’t downplay it. It’s something about the Slayers, isn’t it? You’re obsessed with them.”

“Now don’t start getting ideas! Just because I have a thing for the current Slayer, doesn’t mean I’ve always had a thing for them.” Spike growled.

“Then why does it make you feel guilty about killing the other two?” ‘Cecily’ ventured.

“I DON’T FEEL GUILTY!!” Spike shouted desperately. Unfortunately no one in the room bought it. Not even himself.

“It was the dream wasn’t it?” ‘Cecily’ asked.

“What of it?”

“What did you feel when you saw the Chinese girl’s face change?”

“Jeing Mei. Her name was Jeing Mei.” Spike said automatically.

“You see? You insist on calling her by her real name. You do feel remorse.” ‘Cecily’ said with a grin that foreshadowed her malicious intent.

Suddenly, before everyone’s eyes, Cecily morphed into the Chinese Slayer, Jeing Mei.

“I asked you to tell my mother I was sorry.” She accused. Spike closed his eyes and swallowed hard, as if to try and dispel her image from his mind.

“And do you remember what you told me?” ‘Jeing Mei’ asked. Spike opened his eyes and took a couple steps back, as if trying to rid himself of the memory, but ‘Jeing Mei’ followed him.

“You told me you didn’t speak Chinese. But you did. You were cruel.” she continued.

“Y-yeah, well…what do you expect? I’m evil.” Spike said lamely, trying to sound proud, but it didn’t reach his voice.

‘Jeing Mei’ morphed back into ‘Cecily’.

“That’s right. You are evil. You took pleasure in draining her dry. Slayer blood is so much more nourishing, I’m sure you remember. So what is stopping you from draining this Slayer? You know you want to. And don’t say it’s because of the chip. That would never have stopped you before. It wont stop you now!”

“It’s not the chip.” Spike said through clenched teeth.

“You think you love her?” ‘Cecily’ asked dubiously.

“I don’t think. I know I love her.” Spike said seriously. ‘Cecily’ morphed again.

“My Spike… don’t you love your princess anymore?” ‘Dru’ pouted. Spike turned away from her.

“No. Go away.” He demanded through clenched teeth.

“The nasty slayer has stolen your heart from you. But instead of cherishing it, she throws it in the garbage, doesn’t she, Miss Edith?” ‘Dru’ caressed the ever-present doll’s hair lovingly, “She despises you, you know…Her, and her friends. They’ll never accept you. They can’t. They won’t. They won't. They won’t. Not never. They don’t need you, my Spike. Return to me. Become who you truly are. Come with me and we’ll become a happy family again. Happy, Happy Family. Daddy and Mommy and Spikey and little Miss Edith. We’ll be a lovely, lovely family, wont we, Spikey?”

“Dru…” Spike said in a warning voice. His entire body was taught with tension, and his fists were clenching.

“Buffy, what should we do?” Tara asks.

Buffy was truly concerned now. It seemed that Spike was trapped in his own little world now. Who ever this was, she was really doing a number on him, especially if she was bringing Dru into the mix.

*Lord knows the last time she showed things went so well…* Buffy thought.

“Call the others. I’ll stay here and see if I find any clues. I don’t care how, just get them here.” Buffy said as she kept an eye on Spike and ‘Dru’.

“R-right, okay.” Tara said and disappeared up the ladder. A few seconds later Buffy heard the crypt door creak closed. Buffy turned her attention back to Spike’s conversation. It was like watching a live soap opera… or rather an undead one.

“Why? Why can’t you kill her?” ‘Dru’ asks. "Why can't you kill her for Mommy?"

“You know why! I couldn’t kill her any more than I could kill you!” Spike shouts back.

“But you’re lying! You tried to kill me the last time I was here!”

“Well yeah, you were going to kill Buffy, I couldn’t let you do that.” Spike said.

“So it’s all about her, is it?” ‘Dru’ asked. She morphed back into Cecily.

Buffy sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes. It was going to be a long wait.

* * *

Next Chapter: Lost

Chapter 2: Lost

“Buffy?” Dawn calls out from the top level, and then makes her way to the lower level before Buffy could stop her. Dawn’s voice finally got Spike’s attention, and for the first time in nearly an hour, he acknowledges other people in the room.

“Nibblet, what are you doing here?” Spike asks.

“I overheard Tara on the phone with Xander and Anya. What’s going on? What’s wrong with Spike?” Dawn turned and asked Buffy. Just then Tara ran down the steps, slightly out of breath, followed by an equally breathless Willow.

“S-sorry Buffy, I tried to stop her.” Tara explained and Willow nodded, bent over, hands on he knees trying to catch her breath from her impromptu Dawn Chase. Willow waved her hand at Buffy and Dawn to show she was present in hearing at least, if not yet with enough breath to use her voice.

“It’s okay. Dawn, I’m taking you back home. Let’s go.” Buffy said as she took her sister by the arm and started to drag her towards the stairs.

“No! I don’t want to go. Tell me what’s going on. I have a right to know.” Dawn said indignantly as she pulled her arm out of her sister’s grasp.

“Nibblet, you should listen to big sis, it isn’t safe here for you.” Spike told her.

“Stop treating me like a child! I want to help!” Dawn pleads.

“Dawn, it isn’t safe here for you.” Buffy says.

“The Slayer’s sister….” ‘Cecily’ eyes Dawn maliciously. Spike glares at ‘Cecily’ in a deadly manner.

“You leave her alone.” He says in a low and deadly voice.

“Buffy, who’s Spike talking to?” Dawn asks curiously.

“Come on Dawn, we need to get you out of here. I’ll explain on the way home.” Buffy says.

“No, I want to help!” Dawn protests.

“Well, maybe she can help…” Willow suggests, finally speaking up. At everyone’s weary looks Willow explains. “You...you know...With-with research. Research only… kinda like me.” Willow mumbles as she fidgets. Buffy sighs.

“Fine, but she can’t stay down here though.” Buffy says as she glares at ‘Cecily’. Buffy didn’t like the sardonic grin that was painted on the woman’s face.

“Fine, whatever.” Dawn says begrudgingly as she heads up the ladder to the upper level of the crypt.

“Guys, I’m going up to wait for Xander and Anya. Keep an eye on them, will you?” Buffy asks Willow and Tara. The two witches glanced over at Spike, who was now holding a very animated argument with the apparition that only Tara and Buffy could see.

“Sure. We’ll give a shout if anything happens.” Tara said.

“Thanks.” Buffy said as she climbed up the ladder. Tara lead Willow over to the circle, and had her recite the incantation.

* * *

The two witches watched from a dark corner as Spike and ‘Cecily’ argued. Both witches were listening carefully for any clues that the apparition said about its self. So far they had just heard the apparition egging him on to do evil things to Buffy, and Spike was protesting that vehemently, but the two witches could tell that he was getting tired. He had been up for over 24hrs, and hadn’t had any blood since sunset. His armor was wearing thin and after Dawn had shown up, the apparition had new ammo to work with. This was not looking good.

“I told you to bloody well drop it! There’s no way in hell your gonna convince me to do that!” Spike shouted. His voice was starting to feel raspy from all of the shouting he has been doing. The apparition wasn’t giving up- in fact Spike’s protests only seemed to encourage her to taunt him further. Somehow, no matter how many times she tried to entice him to do what she wanted, he resisted. Mainly because the two things she was telling him to do gave him a twisting feeling in his heart and his stomach.

“There’s something about that girl. So full of energy… I wonder what her blood would taste like…? Better than Slayer blood?” ‘Cecily’ said suggestively. Spike’s whole body went ridged with anger. He stalked angrily over to ‘Cecily’, practically standing nose to nose with her.

“I said NO! I. Will. NEVER. Do. That!” He ground out through clenched teeth and turned his back from her to try and rein his temper.

“I hate you!” Dawn’s voice shouted from behind him. He turned swiftly to see Dawn standing where ‘Cecily’ had been standing just seconds ago.

Tara and Willow abruptly sat up in their chairs upon seeing the apparition morph into Dawn. The two witches glanced at each other worriedly.

Spike knew it wasn’t his nibblet. It wasn’t possible. It was just this bird’s mind tricks… but she looked so much like Dawn… even sounded like her.

“You’re disgusting! I hate you! You never wanted to be my friend! You just wanted to get into Buffy’s pants! You’re a pig! A ickey, evil and disgusting PIG!!” ‘Dawn’ shouted at him.

“Nibblet?” Spike said in a small voice. He stepped toward her, but she backed away from him.

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me you awful blood-sucker! You lied to me! You told me you’d protect me! But you didn’t, did you?! It’s your fault Buffy died! It’s all your fault!!!” Dawn screamed. Spike was lost. Buffy’s death was his biggest weakness.

“Dawn, I’m so sorry… I tried… I tried so hard, but I couldn’t stop him…” Spike sank to his knees, kneeling before her. “I couldn’t save her… I tried, but I wasn’t fast enough… I couldn’t save her…I couldn’t save her.” Spike had tears running down his face as he pleaded with ‘Dawn’, haven completely forgotten that it was not the real girl. He covered his face with the palms of his hands and began crying, much like he did that day when Buffy had died.

Both Tara and Willow watched with horror the scene played out before them.

“I-I think I better go get B-Buffy.” Tara said and shot out of her seat to hurry up the ladder. Once she reached the upper level she found Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Anya pouring over the books they had brought over in crates.

“Oh, wait, here’s one… How to summon ghost larvae... surprisingly, you don’t get much call for those these days…” Xander said sarcastically as he flipped to the next page in the book.

“B-Buffy, I think you need to see what’s going on down h-here. I t-think S-Spike’s starting t-to crack.” Tara said. Buffy immediately got up from her seat and went down to the lower level, calling over her shoulder:

“Dawn, you stay there!”

With a frustrated huff, Dawn sat back down, mumbling about overprotective sisters.

“I gotta see this…” Xander said as he jumped up from his chair, followed by Anya, and went down into the lower levels. Dawn huffed again, angrily, mumbling about grownups and they’re ‘inside world’.

* * *

“Nibblet, I’m so sorry… I tried to stop it… I tried…” Spike was still crying when Buffy came down the steps. A few moments later Xander and Anya followed.

“What happened?” Buffy asked Willow and Tara.

“It changed into Dawn. It was yelling at him, telling him that she hated him. She was telling him that it was all his fault that you… that-that you died.” Willow said. Buffy turned to see a very broken down Spike.

“Where? I don’t see her.” Xander said, looking around the crypt.

“Oh, right. Sorry Xander. Here, stand in the circle…” Tara motioned him to the circle. He stood in the center.

“Now repeat after me..” Tara said, and told him the incantation. When Xander finished he saw someone that looked like Dawn standing in front of Spike.

“Holy moley!” Xander exclaimed.

“Wait until you see her morph.” Willow said.

“I want to see too!” Anya complained.

“O-okay.” Tara said, and repeated the process with Anya.

“Wow. Great likeness. Even better than the Buffy-bot.” Anya complimented. A moment of uncomfortable silence passed between the group. But that was broken when they heard Buffy’s voice at the other end of the crypt. They all looked up to see ‘it’ morphed as Buffy.

“You promised me, Spike. You told me you would protect her. How could you? I trusted you!” ‘Buffy’ yelled at him. Spike looked up at her, new tears running down his face.

“I tried, pet. I know it was all my fault, and I’m sorry…” He said with his head hung down in shame.

“You failed me Spike. The one time you could have proven yourself to me, and you screwed it up. I shouldn’t have trusted you. You’re not a man, you’re a monster. A disgusting, evil, vile thing. Always were, always are. I could NEVER love you. You’re nothing to me Spike. You’re beneath me.”

Spike visibly shuddered at the words. ‘Buffy’ morphed back into ‘Cecily’.

“You’re nothing to me, William. You’re beneath me.” ‘Cecily’ said in her upper class Victorian voice, a perfect echo from William’s past.

“Oh God…” Buffy said. It actually felt like her heart sank in her chest. She had said the exact same thing to him that night outside the Bronze… the exact same thing that Cecily had said to him over a hundred years ago, that broke his heart. Now ‘it’ was bringing it all back to haunt him, even using her own image and voice. It was like pouring holy water into an open wound. Buffy got angry.

She started to stalk over to ‘it’, but she got about 10ft away from them and ran straight into an invisible barrier.

“What the…? Wills? Tara?” Buffy turned back to them questioningly. Willow and Tara stepped forward and placed their hands on the invisible barrier with confused looks on their faces.

“This is a strong barrier. Whatever that thing is, it’s very powerful.” Willow said.

“Is there any way to break it down?” Buffy asked.

“It’s too powerful. I’ve never seen anything so strong…” Willow said. Buffy sighed in annoyance.

“Well there has to be something we can do! I can’t just sit here and watch this.” Buffy said motioning to Spike and whatever that thing was.

“We need to figure out what that thing is.” Willow pointed at the thing that kept morphing. They all looked at it, and saw that it was some woman in Victorian era clothing.

“Haven’t you heard? They call him ‘William the Bloody’ because of his bloody awful poetry!” She tittered. Quick as lightning ‘it’ morphs into a Victorian era man.

“It suits him. I'd rather have a railroad spike through my head than listen to that awful stuff!” The aristocrat sneers.

“That’s how he got the name ‘William the Bloody’? Lil’ Spikey wrote poems?” Xander says, trying to suppress chuckles and Anya lightly whapped his arm with the back of her hand to get him to stop. Xander opened his mouth to let out more taunts, but his jokes died in his throat when he saw four sour looks from the women in the room.

Meanwhile ‘It’ had changed into another Aristocrat.

“You were always worthless, you know. Always writing your nancy-boy poetry! You were always the fool for love William. A romantic at heart just like your mother! I swear William, sometimes I’m not so sure that I had a son and not a daughter! You make me ashamed to be your father!”

“Stop it.” Spike demanded weakly through his tears. ‘It’ morphed again.

“I never wanted you, you know. You ruined my life. I was much to young to have a child. I’ve always resented you for taking my youth from me, William.” His ‘Mother’ told him.

“Mum, please…”

“Please what, William? Stop telling you the truth?” Spike’s ‘Mother’ chuckled bitterly. “Stop telling you that I never wanted you? That I didn’t need you? That I didn’t love you?” ‘It’ morphed back into ‘Cecily’.

“No!” Spike desperately shouts.

“You see, William? No body loves you. You’re all alone. You always have been. You’re not needed by anyone, not the Slayer, and not by her friends. You're not even wanted by them! Everyone thinks that you’re worthless…but I know that you are not. I know what true strength you hold…” ‘Cecily’ whispered into his ear.

“Who are you?” Spike asked in an anguished tone. This bitch sure knew how to kick 'em when they were down.

“I am the First. The First evil, beyond sin, beyond death. You’re a part of me, just like I’m a part of you. I am the thing that you will never be able to escape. Wherever you go, I will always be there. You can’t fight me, so why even try?”

“What do you want from me?” Spike asked in a broken voice.

“I want you to return to me. You’re not a man, you’re a monster, so start acting like one! You know the demon inside of you is just itching to come out and play. So why don’t you let it? Take all that anger and all that hate and pour it into her. She’ll never love you…so why not? Bag your third Slayer, Spike. Quit being the her lap dog, and return to your former glory…!”

“The first….” Buffy says in deep thought. “The First Evil… oh God. I know what it is…! Damn it! Of course!” Buffy says exasperated, slapping her forehead with her palm.

“Wait...you mean…you don’t mean that thing that haunted Angel, do you? Because I think Giles is still majorly wigging over that one...” Willow asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Yes! It’s those monks again. We need to find them and now. I don’t know how much longer until Spike finally cracks.”

“Do you think they’d return to that cave beneath the Christmas tree lot?” Willow asked.

“It’s worth a look.” Buffy shrugged. “You guys stay here, keep an eye on him?” Buffy asked them.

“Sure Buffy, we’ll keep an eye on poetry boy.” Xander said, which promptly earned him a smack on the back of the head from Anya, as well as heated glares from the Slayer and two witches.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike again. He was still kneeling on the floor, his shoulders slumped and his head hung low.

*God I hope he hasn’t cracked already.*

“Spike?” Buffy called out to him, but he didn't move.

“Spike!” Buffy calls out again, louder. His head picks up a little, but he would make no other movement.

“Damn it! SPIKE! Just hold on a little while longer! And don't listen to her, for pete's sake!” Buffy shouts to him before turning and climbing the ladder up as quickly as her slayer powers could carry her. Once she reached the top, Dawn jumped up out of her seat.

“Is he okay?” Dawn asked, worried.

Buffy walked over to Spike’s weapons chest and started rummaging through it. “I don’t know Dawn, but I think I know how to stop it.”

“What can I do?” Dawn asked. Buffy looks up at her sister with a sad look on her face. She opened up Dawn's hand and placed a stake in it. Dawn looked up at her sister, shocked.

“If he comes after you, stake him.”

“He wouldn’t do that, Buffy!” Dawn protested.

“Dawn, this thing that is haunting him…it’s trying to break him. It’s trying to make him be evil again. I just want you to be safe.”

“But his chip…”

“I know, Dawn. I don’t know what kind of powers this thing has. It put up a pretty powerful barrier around them so that we couldn’t interfere. It might even have the power to disable the chip. It’s evil Dawn. Pure evil, and I mean that literally. We don’t know what it can do.” Buffy said as she pulled a large, wicked looking axe out of the chest on the floor. She looked back up at Dawn and saw tears running down her face.

“Hey…don’t worry Dawn, I’ll fix this. Okay?” Buffy asks, brushing her sister’s hair back from her face.

"Promise?"

Buffy nodded, "Sister Promise." In the old ritual, the two girls linked pinkies and Buffy pulled her sister into a tight hug. “I’ll be back soon, alright? Stay up here. The last time ‘it’ saw you, I didn’t like the way she looked at you… like a wolf eyeing a wounded lamb.” Buffy said as she walked to the Crypt door.

“Okay.” Dawn agreed as she watched her sister walk out of the crypt, closing the door behind her.

* * *

“Stop it! That’s not true!” Spike shouted desperately.

“You want her. You know you want to taste her. All that rich blood just pumping away beneath that thin layer of skin…” The First taunted, in the guise of Cecily.

“Leave me alone!!” Spike clasped his hands over his ears to shut her out as he walked to the other side of the crypt to get away from her. Unfortunately for him she followed behind him.

“Don’t shut me out William, you can’t escape me. The only way you’ll ever find any peace is to kill her. Only then will you be free…!” She followed behind him quickly, never more than two steps away from him.

“You can start with her friends…They’ve always hated you…” The first said and morphed into Willow.

“I’ll never forgive you, Spike. I trusted you to get to Doc on time. I trusted you to save Dawn. I thought you were our friend… but you’re not. You’re a monster. We were crazy to let you in. And because we let you in you killed Buffy. You may not have done it with your own fangs, but you killed her all the same. You don’t deserve to be around her Spike. She’s out of you’re league.” ‘Willow’ said. The First then morphed into Xander.

“And you’re little obsession you have with Buffy? That’s not love. That’s just you being sick and perverted. She will never love you Spike. She will never even like you. You’d only bring her pain, and she doesn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve her. A monster like you will never be able to touch her.”

Spike never looked up into their faces. They’re accusations stung him enough… he didn’t want to look into their eyes as they said them. He was so lost. He was sucked into this world that seemed far away from reality. He was lost in his own grief, about the one thing he truly felt guilty about; Buffy’s death. That was why in the dream Jeing Mei’s face turned into Buffy’s. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t feel the pang of regret because of his failure. But now that Buffy was resurrected, he could at least see her day to day, taking care of her little sister like she should be, and out slaying demons and such. For Spike that was enough. Even if she never loved him, he could live with that. He might not be very happy about it, but his own happiness didn’t matter to him anymore. Her happiness was what was important. Hell, if it’d make her happy, he’d probably stake himself for her. He’d do anything for her. He had once called himself Love’s bitch, and he truly was. Once his heart latched onto someone, it stayed there. Hell, he still loved Dru, even though his time with her was over. He wouldn’t go back to her, but he wouldn’t trade his time with her for anything. His experience with Dru taught him things about himself, and allowed him to become who he was today.

Spike knew all of these things in his heart, as broken as it was right now. He knew that he couldn’t give in to this thing that was tormenting him. But he was drowning. He was drowning so fast and ‘it’ just kept on throwing more buckets of water on him. He was hungry and he was tired. His heart was battered and his strength was wavering. He didn’t know how much longer he had. His heart could only be shattered so many times until it turned to dust…

* * *

“Guys, we have to do something… I don’t think he can hold out much longer.” Willow said worriedly.

“What are we supposed to do? We can’t get close to them, and I don’t think he can hear us anyway. They’re own little bubble.” Xander said.

“Maybe I can get into his head again, like that night Buffy died.” Willow suggested.

“Willow no!” Tara practically shouted. They all looked at her in surprise that the shy witch had spoken so forcefully. “I-I mean, you can’t. No more magic. I’ll do it.” Tara said.

“But you don’t already have a connection with him… plus he’s inside a protective barrier! It would be next to impossible for you to connect with him.” Willow said. Tara sighed.

“I can use you as a conduit. That way you won’t be using any magic, I’ll just be borrowing your psychic link.” Tara said.

“Good! An ultimatum! Let’s get to it. What can I do?” Xander asked.

“You seem awfully eager to help Spike.” Anya commented.

“Well, I…. I…Okay, fine. I feel sorry for the guy, all right?” Xander relented. “I mean, before I never really thought much about his feelings, but he just looks so heartbroken, ya know? Who’d of guessed that the guy had a heart? He still has major guiltage about Buffy’s death… and the guy’s not even supposed to feel guilt.” Xander said.

“Yeah, kinda makes you believe that he really does love Buffy.” Willow comments.

“H-he does. I-I can see it in his aura. It’s very strong.” Tara says shyly.

“Well, lets get to it, we don’t have much time. Lover-boy needs our help.” Xander says.

* * *

“I can not believe this.” Buffy groaned as she looked down into the hole in the ground. Just as she had suspected the monks had returned to the same spot as last time, the cave beneath the Christmas tree lot. The trees were still dead above ground, and she could hear the chanting emanating from below.

With a sigh Buffy jumped down the hole, into darkness. When her eyes adjusted to the dark she saw the three monks kneeling and chanting around an alter.

“Boy, you guys really need to pick a better place to chant. I mean, come on- totally predictable. You could have made it a little more challenging for me.” Buffy said. The three priests jumped up and started to scatter, but Buffy grabbed one, threw it against a second, and grabbed the third, throwing him against the cave wall next to the other two.

“Not so fast. Now you guys are really starting to piss me off. And a word of advice: never piss off a slayer.” Buffy says as she walks over and held up the blade of the axe dangerously close to their throats.

“Now, we’re going to do this one of two ways. Either you guys can leave and never do any of your chanting around me or mine again, or I can kill you all right now, thus solving all of my problems. I’m guessing you’d rather take door number one, am I right?” Buffy asked, and the three priests nodded quickly.

“Thought so. Now get out. If I ever see any of you here again, I will kill you.” Buffy said as she lowered her axe, and the three priests quickly scrambled out of the cave. Buffy turned to the alter and shattered it with her axe.

“So we meet again, Slayer.” The First appears in the guise as Jenny.

“Do you just like to annoy me, or is there a reason you were summoned?” Buffy ventured. The First smirked.

“Oh, I’ve been summoned for a reason. One of the greatest master vampires in history switched sides. Now that was something Lucifer himself couldn’t have predicted. The balance has been shifted and I was summoned to correct it. You train your vampires well Slayer, this one is harder to crack than Angelus was.” The First said.

“I didn’t train them. Spike changed of his own free will.”

“Maybe. But it won’t do him any good now.”

“What did you do to him?” Buffy demanded.

“You’ll find out soon enough…” The First said tauntingly.

“Great. Is this the part where you scream ‘Dead by sunrise’ and go poof? ‘Cause if so, can we just skip to the ‘poof’ part?” Buffy asked, dripping with sarcasm. Then Buffy lifts her axe, and looks at the blade thoughtfully. “Or do I actually get to kill you this time?” She continued in a cheerful tone.

“You can’t kill me, little girl. You can’t even begin to imagine what destruction you would cause if I ceased to exist.”

“Please. Don’t give me that. I’ve gone up against a hell God, you think you can scare me?”

“Glorificus wasn’t needed to maintain existence as you know it. With out me, everything you know ceases to exist.” The First said smugly.

“Hu?”

* * *

Spike was alone in the darkness. That thing calling it’s self ‘the First Evil’ had suddenly disappeared, leaving him broken and tired. He didn’t know why he still held on to the smallest hope that Buffy and her pals would come to help him. In fact they were probably out celebrating his downfall right about now.

“Spike, can you hear me?” Tara’s voice whispers within Spike’s head.

“What the…?” Spike lifts his head and looks around himself for the source of the voice. He only saw darkness.

“It’s me Tara. You have to hold on, Buffy’s trying to help you.” Tara tells him.

“Tara? Why would she… why would you help me? I’m nothing.”

“No Spike, that’s not true. You’re our friend. Listen, I have to cut the link now. Just don’t listen to her, okay? Buffy’s working on it…we’ll get you out. I have to go now Spike.” Tara’s voice said.

“Wait.” Spike called out.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Tara apologized. And as quick as that, the link was gone. He was alone again, left feeling cold and empty inside. What Tara said had given him hope, but he didn’t know how long that would last in a place like this…in this place where time and sanity didn’t exist. This place was where his feelings were cast aside and crushed into dust sized bits, and left for the wind to scatter about where it pleased.

No one wanted him, and no one needed him.

Here, in this place, in this darkness, he did not matter.

* * *

Next chapter: Lesson the first

Chapter 3: Lesson the First

“You think you know what makes this world tick? Why life has thrived upon it for millions of years?” The First asked challengingly.

“No, but I’m sure you’re gonna to tell me.” Buffy said impatiently.

“The balance, child. Good and Evil, one cannot exist with out the other. You humans are so ignorant. Always believing in either purity or corruption. What you don’t understand is that the world only works with a little bit of both. The world couldn’t exist without one or the other. The vampire has disrupted the balance by going against his nature. Vampires are borne to be evil, just as Slayers are borne to be good.” The First said.

“Please. Get a grip. No one is supposed to be one or the other. There have been bad Slayers and there have been good vampires. But I’m sure you already know this. Spike does what he wants to do, and believe me, I know from personal experience, when he chooses to do something, he does it, and no one can change his mind.” Buffy says. The first seems to consider this for a moment, and then nods her head in agreement.

“You are an interesting paradox, Slayer. A Slayer that protects a vampire…” The First studies the Slayer with critical eyes for a moment, and then smiles knowingly at Buffy.

“I can tell you are not a regular Slayer…you haven’t even begun. Until we meet again, Slayer.” The First says, and then shrinks into a cloud of dust and goes ‘poof’.

Buffy just stared after the First in confusion, and then sighs in annoyance.

“Did everyone get the ‘Buffy hasn’t even begun memo’?” She mumbles to herself as she made her way out of the cave.

* * *

“Ow.” Tara mumbled as she dropped to the floor.

“Tara! Are you okay?” Willow asked, moving to help Tara off the floor.

“Y-yeah, I think so. Just a little woozy.” Tara said as she rubbed her temple with her hand.

“Oh! You’re nose is bleeding!” Willow pointed out.

“I-I’ll be fine, it’s just that the spell took a lot out of me.” Tara said as she let Willow help her to a chair.

“How is he doing?” Tara asked. Xander turned to her with a worried look on his face.

“Well, he still looks really depressed, but at least he’s not crying any more.” Xander commented.

“You better not tease him about this after this is over.” Willow warned him.

“What..? Like I’d do a thing like…” Xander paused and looked at the three women scowling at him. “Well, yeah okay, maybe I would…but I won’t! The guy’s had a tough enough time as it is.” Xander said.

“Good. ‘Cause, you know, after this…I think he’ll really need to know that we accept him. We haven’t really been big on the whole ‘Spike’s our friend’ thing, even though he is a member of the Scooby gang.” Willow said.

“He is??” Xander asked, a little taken aback.

“YES. He is. I mean, come on…look at this summer… Buffy was dead. He didn’t have to stick around, but he did. He stuck around for Dawn. How many evil vampires do you know that do that?” Willow asked.

Everyone in the room was silent.

* * *

Buffy ran all the way back to Spike’s crypt. She hurried in, past her sister and ran down the ladder.

“I got rid of her.” Buffy announced as soon as she hit the bottom step.

“T-that must mean the barrier is down.” Tara said.

“My god, Tara, why is your nose bloody?” Buffy asked. Tara wiped her nose with the sleeve of her sweater shyly. Xander decided to speak up for her.

“She did a spell to get inside Spike’s mind. He looked like he was going to crack, Buffy. We had to do something. She told him to hold on.” Xander said. Buffy nodded in approval.

“No, that’s good. Good work guys. Look…I don’t mean to be rude…but you might want to clear out now. He hasn’t had any blood for almost two days, and The First screwed up his head pretty good…this might not be a good scene.” Buffy said.

“Sure Buffy. We’ll be upstairs. Give us a shout if you need anything.” Willow said as all four of them made their way up the ladder.

Buffy searched the shadows of the lower level of the crypt, searching for Spike’s form. She found him in one of the darkest corners, curled up upon him self in a fetal position. She walked over to him, about two feet away.

“Spike?” Buffy said quietly, so as not to startle him. He didn’t move.

“Spike?” She called a little louder. She got a flinch.

“Spike, it’s me. I got rid of her. She’s gone now.” Buffy told him as she crouched down and touched his shoulder. He shot up and stumbled away from her.

“Leave me alone!” He shouted as he held his head in his hands, whimpering.

“No Spike, I won’t. You’re my friend.” Buffy told him as she kneeled next to him again. This time he didn’t move.

“I can’t be you’re friend. I’m beneath you. I’m nothing….” Spike whispered.

“You’re something to me. And you’re not beneath me. You’re my equal. You were right, Spike, there is something between us. I don’t know what it is…but it’s something.” Buffy says.

“You’re not her…this is just another trick…” He muttered.

“It’s me Spike. I can prove it to you.” Buffy said.

“How?” He asked, looking up into her eyes. His eyes were full of despair.

*It’s now or never, Buffy…* She thought to herself. She closed her eyes and captured his lips with her own. For a second he did nothing, didn’t respond, as if trying to calculate if she was really kissing him, if it was really her. Then suddenly he deepened it, pulling her closer to him. The heated kiss quickly sparked into a fiery one, the most passionate kiss they had shared so far. The guy was literally kissing like there was no tomorrow.

*I guess my proof worked.* Buffy thought idly.

“Ahem…” A voice came from behind them.

They both suddenly broke off from the kiss and realized that they were practically having sex with clothes on, the way that they had been groping at each other. Buffy quickly crawled off his lap and turned to face the owner of the voice that had interrupted them.

It was Dawn.

“Before you guys get into your sex-capades, I thought Spike might be a little hungry.” Dawn said, holding up a bag full of packets of blood.

“You went to the Butcher’s shop at this hour?” Buffy asked, a little angry.

“Well yeah. You guys were all busy, and I noticed Spike was out when I got a soda from his fridge, so I went while you were off hunting Evil. You know, at first the guy wouldn’t even sell it to me, but then when I told him it was for Spike, the guy handed it right over…” Dawn said as she walked over to Spike and handed him the bag. He looked up at her apprehensively.

“Thanks Nibblet…” Spike said quietly as he pulled out a bag of blood and quickly drained it. Both girls didn’t bother to look away or grimace. They accepted him now, demon and all.

“Well, I’ll just let you guys get back to….whatever.” Dawn said as she turned and started up the ladder.

“Nibblet?” Spike called out to her. She stopped midway up the ladder and looked at him.

“Yeah?”

“You’re…You’re still my friend, right?” Spike asked with such vulnerability in his voice, it made Dawn run back over to him and throw her arms around him. Spike was startled at first, but then a little awkwardly hugged her back.

“Yes, Spike. I’m still your friend. I’ll always be your friend.” Dawn said. She let go of him and went back up the stairs.

“Thanks, nibblet.” Spike whispered after she had gone. He took another bag of blood and drained it.

“Hey there… how are you holding up?” Buffy asked, running a hand through his tousled hair. It was much softer than she thought it would be, with all the bleaching.

“I’ve had better days. That bitch really did a number on me.” Spike said, leaning into her touch. It amazed him how just minutes ago, all of his hopes had been crushed into nothing, and all it took for them to spring back to life was this one amazing woman. And damn did he love how she was running her hand through his hair right now.

“Well, maybe you’ll feel better after some sleep.” Buffy said as she helped him stand and walked him over to his four-poster bed. She sat him down on the bed and began to take off his boots as he drained another pack of blood. He could barely keep his eyes open. He was drained emotionally and physically.

“The gang is upstairs, waiting for me. I’ll be back to check on you, okay?” Buffy said. He nodded solemnly. He had hoped that she would stay with him, if just for a little while, but now he knew better than to indulge in hopes.

“Okay. G’night, Buffy. And thanks.” Spike said as he got under his covers and lay down.

“Good night Spike.” Buffy said as she walked up the ladder.

* * *

Buffy got to the top level of the crypt and saw all of her friends looking very sleepy and worse for the wear. After all, they had all been up for nearly 48hrs. At that note, Buffy glanced out one of the windows and saw the sun’s rays lighting up the morning sky.

“Hey guys. Spike’s okay now. It took a little convincing, but he’s back.” Buffy said as she shot a warning glare to her sister who was dangerously close to snickering.

*Yep, that was some definite convincing…* Buffy thought as she felt her face getting flushed.

“Great! So dead-boy Jr, crisis over?” Xander asked, and Anya automatically smacked him on the arm.

“Ow! Geez, will you stop doing that?” Xander complained.

“Stop making fun of Spike, and maybe I will.” Anya told him.

“I wasn’t making fun of him. He calls me whelp, I call him Dead-boy Jr. It’s a mutual name calling thing…!” Xander replied lamely.

“Everything is okay guys, you can all go home now.” Buffy said.

“You…All? Aren’t you coming with?” Willow asked. Buffy was silent for a moment and slightly turned her head in the direction of the passage to the lower level.

“No, Wills, I don’t think I am. He needs me tonight. I’m going to stay here.” Buffy said.

“Geez Buff, let a vamp rest before you jump his bones.” Dawn said jokingly.

“I’m *not* going to ‘jump his bones’ Dawn…! I’m just going to stay here for…comforting.” Buffy replied a little guiltily. Okay, so maybe the idea of ‘jumping his bones’ crossed her mind, but she wasn’t going to act on it…tonight.

Her friends smiled wearily and started heading out the door.

“I’m only staying for a few hours. You can manage by yourself, right?” Buffy asked Dawn. Dawn rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I can take care of myself. Just take care of him, okay?” Dawn said as she gave her sister a hug.

“I will.” Buffy said as she let go of her sister. Dawn smiled and turned away, catching up with Willow to head home. Buffy watched from the door as each group went their separate ways- Willow and Dawn to the Summers’ home, Xander and Anya to their apartment, and Tara off to her own apartment. Buffy let out a deep and tiring sigh as she closed the door and then walked back to and down the ladder.

Spike was sprawled out face down on his bed with his shirt removed, with just the sheet covering his lower half. She took in a mental inventory of his clothing lying on the floor next to the bed: Shoes, socks, shirt…and pants. *I really hope he wears boxers…* Buffy thought, not exactly trusting herself to be alone in a room with naked Spike.

She kicked off her shoes and went around the other side of the bed, lifting up the covers and sliding in before she could change her mind. She was lying about two feet away from him, facing him. He appeared to already be asleep. With vampires, you can’t tell because they don’t need to breathe. Thus no rising and falling of the chest, or snoring. They just lay there, unmoving.

But either Spike was still awake, or he could some how sense her presence, because soon she found him pulling her next to him, draping his arm around her waist and burring his face into her neck.

Buffy almost chuckled. Spike was cuddling with her. She didn’t have him pegged for the cuddling type. But sleep was beginning to take over her body, and her eyelids began to drift closed. They only opened briefly when she felt a vibrating against her neck… Then she heard it.

Spike was purring.

*A vampire’s version of snoring?* was Buffy’s last thought as she drifted off into sleep.

* * *

The first thing Spike noticed when he awoke was that he was holding Buffy in his arms. He could smell her all around him. He was holding her so tight, he was surprised that the poor girl could breathe at all.

His head shot up at that last thought, now fully awake.

*Oh God…* Spike thought as he checked to see if she was still breathing.

He sighed in relief as he watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest. He rested his head on his pillow again and watched her sleep.

The second thing that came to mind was the fact that he was naked…with Buffy in his bed. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Buffy still obviously had her clothes on, he could feel them against his skin, but did the Slayer know that he was naked?

*Well, let’s not lick a gift horse in the mouth, eh?* Spike thought as he snuggled up to her again, deeply inhaling the scent that was Buffy.

“I was wondering when you’d wake up.” Buffy said.

“Bugger.” Spike mumbled sleepily against her neck. “No, I’m not awake. Really, luv.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Horny.”

Buffy lightly smacked him on the arm.

“What? Oh, right. Uh, right as rain, luv, which is a bloody stupid expression if you ask me…how is rain a cheery thought?”

“You’ve put way too much thought into that…” Buffy commented.

“Well pet, when you’ve lived as long as I have, you’re bound to have plenty of time to waste.”

“True.” Buffy stated simply.

“Speaking of time luv, me, you, alone in my bed…I can think of a few things to pass the time.” Spike quirked his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh really? Like what?” Buffy feigned innocents.

*So the chit wants to play it like that does she…?* Spike thought, amused.

“Oh I don’t know, charades, scrabble… you name it luv.” Spike said as he swiftly rolled himself on top of her, hovering just above her. “Chess, Monopoly, Clue….Poker.” He leered. Buffy raised her eyebrows.

“Does that last one involve stripping?”

He smirked and answered her with a kiss.

* * *

“Buffy? You still here?” Dawn’s voice called out from the upper level. Buffy disentangled herself from Spike’s arms without waking him, slipped on her clothes and climbed up the ladder.

“Hey, what’s up Dawnie?” Buffy asked upon seeing her sister wandering about, looking at all of Spike’s stuff. Dawn turned to her sister and held out a bag of food.

“Here, I thought you’d be hungry.” Dawn said as her sister took the bag of Chinese take-out.

“Thanks, I’m starved. How’d you know?”

“Well, you’ve kind of been running on empty since this whole thing happened to Spike. How is he doing?” Dawn asked as the sisters sat down on the floor of the crypt. Buffy opened up the Styrofoam container, took out the chopsticks and began to eat her Yaki Udon.

“He’s okay now. He’s still resting.” She said after eating a mouthful.

“Uh huh.” Dawn said suspiciously.

“Don’t give me that look.” Buffy said, lightheartedly.

“Do you love him?” Dawn asked bluntly. Buffy was taken aback.

“I…I…uh…I-I don’t know Dawn.” Buffy said as she fidgeted uncomfortably under her sister’s gaze.

“Could you? Love him I mean.” Dawn asked. Buffy swallowed audibly.

“Boy, what’s with the twenty questions?” Buffy asked, obviously flustered.

“Buffy, just answer the question. Don’t you think he at least deserves to know?” Dawn reasoned.

“Yeah, you’re right. Honestly Dawn, I think I could, and that scares me. It scares me a lot. We both know my…track record…” Buffy paused, and Dawn groaned in acknowledgement. “But when I’m with him…I don’t know what happens. Even when we’re fighting each other I can feel something passing between us. You know… I think that’s why we fight each other so much. We both know that it’s wrong for us to feel this way about each other, so we fight it. A part of us hates it, whereas the rest couldn’t live without it.”

“My thoughts exactly, luv.” Spike said from behind her. Buffy turned to see Spike sitting at the top of the ladder, watching the two sisters talk. Buffy turns back to her sister and gave her a ‘you knew he was there??’ look. Dawn just smiles like a Cheshire cat, obviously proud of her undercover work.

“You brat!” Buffy smacked at her playfully for being double-crossed.

“Hey! Watch the slayer strength!” Dawn whined, which only resulted in Buffy jumping up to attack her sister by tickling her.

“Aaaahh! No Buffy! Buffy stop!! Spike, help!!” Dawn pleaded through her laughter as Buffy mercilessly tickled Dawn.

Both Summers’ girls heard a playful growl before they were both tackled by the vampire, getting tickled.

“Spike!!” Buffy squealed in between her laughter as he tickled her.

“That’s for pickin on my nibblet!” Spike said as he tickled Buffy with one hand.

“And that’s for thinkin’ I’d come to you’re rescue!” Spike said playfully as he tickled Dawn with his other.

“Uncle! Uncle!!” Dawn shouted, pleading with the vampire to stop. Spike relented, leaving two Summers’ women exhausted from laughing too hard.

“Bully.” Dawn pouted playfully.

“You know it.” Spike said proudly, a touch of his ‘big bad’ ego getting stroked.

“Oh God. That was fun.” Buffy smiled, perhaps her first true smile since her resurrection.

“Then we should do it more often, luv, if I get to see you smile like that.” Spike said as he reached out and pushed a strand of hair from her face.

Dawn coughed noisily to get their attention.

“Hate to break up the…whatever indecent thing you two were about to do before my eyes, but it’s getting late Buffy.” Dawn said.

“Oh God, what time is it?” Buffy said, looking out the window. It was nearly sunset.

“About 6pm.” Dawn said, after checking her wristwatch.

“I’ve been here all day?” Buffy said, blushing.

“Uh… yeah?” Dawn said.

“Wow… I must have lost track of time. Okay. I’ll just go and grab my things.” Buffy said as she glanced over at Spike, giving him a look, then went downstairs.

Spike stood in confusion for a moment, trying to figure out what the look meant. As if reading his mind, Dawn answered.

“Duh, she wants you to follow her.” Dawn said, rolling her eyes.

Spike scowled at her playfully and mussed up her hair as he walked past her to follow Buffy.

“Hey! Punk!” Dawn called out to him.

“Brat.” He called over his shoulder.

“Do-gooder.” She called back as he descended down the steps out of sight.

“Take that back!” She heard him yell from below. Dawn giggled. Yep, the old Spike was back.

* * *

“What was that all about?” Buffy asked after Spike shouted up to Dawn.

“Nothin luv, just a little teasing between friends.”

“Oh.”

“So luv, what’s with the not-so-secret rendezvous?” He asked, his voice sounding dangerously sexy.

“I just wanted to say goodbye…in private.” Buffy said as she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

“Keep this up luv, and you’ll never leave… Not that I’m complaining. In fact, keep it up.”

“Alright already, enough with the kinky sex talk!” Dawn’s voice filtered down into the lower level of the crypt. Both blonds groaned in annoyance.

“Bye Spike.” Buffy said, giving him another quick kiss and then climbed up the ladder. From the lower levels he could hear the two Summers’ girls that had captured his heart.

“So is he a good kisser?”

“DAWN!”

* * *

Spike was back to his usual restless self. Well sort of. His emotions were still a little haywire. He couldn't believe he had acted like such a poof, but if what happened with Buffy was the result, than he could get used to it. After Buffy and Dawn had left nearly two hours ago, Spike decided to pass the time until the sun went down, cleaning his crypt. Anything to keep his mind busy, lest he started brooding. His crypt had gotten a little grimy looking, but then again, the grimy look was the whole appeal of a crypt, wasn’t it? So he ended up straightening up things and dusting. He changed his bed sheets and swept the floor. It was just starting to get dark outside so he began to light his candles. That was when he heard the strangest thing...something he never though he’d hear.

There was a nock at the door.

Spike walked over timidly and cracked it open to peer through. What he saw on the other side of the door, shocked him even more.

“Hi Spike. Can we come in?” Buffy asked, standing as the spokes person for the entire group of Scoobies, who stood behind her. The whelp had a grocery bag held in his hands and a case of beer tucked under his arm. Anya had a couple of pizzas, Red and Tara were also holding a bag from some store, and the nibblet had a deck of cards and a case for holding poker chips. He looked back at Buffy, who was smiling that smile at him.

“Uh, yeah, come in.” He said, still bewildered. He opened the door further and they all traipsed in, setting their stuff down in various places. They all turned and looked at each other, a moment of uncomfortable silence passing over them. No one seemed to know what to say.

“So then…uh, what’s the occasion?” Spike asked, generally motioning to the items that the Scoobies had brought over. Buffy stepped forward.

“This is your official ‘Welcome to the gang’ party. See, we realized that even though you’ve been a member of our group for a couple of years now, we’ve basically treated you like crap, and never once thanked you for anything. So this is kind of like a peace offering. We realize how much we need you in our group now, and how much you’ve helped us in the past, even if reluctantly at the time. We’d like to all be friends.” Buffy said, looking at the bewildered vampire.

They needed him? They wanted to be his friend? They were letting him into their tight niche known as ‘the Scooby gang’?

After what seemed like minutes, Spike finally spoke up.

“So do I get a member’s card or somethin’?” He asked, nonchalantly. Everybody grinned.

“See! I *so* told you we should have member’s cards, or rings or…” Willow started rambling on about special Scooby identifier props.

“Alright, the party is on!” Xander said, grabbing a beer out of the six-pack. Anya and Tara began to take the items out of the bag Xander had carried, more food stuffs- potato chips, dip, sodas, Oreo cookies, and cheese & crackers. But Spike was most impressed when the demon girl pulled out of the bag a familiar brown butcher’s bag. They had bought him blood.

“Hey Dead-boy Jr., catch.” Xander said as he tossed Spike a beer. Instead of smacking Xander, Anya only sent him a withering glare for the name-calling. Spike caught the beer, vamped out, bit the top off the bottle and took a drink.

“Thanks mate. Cheers.” Spike said, taking another drink. Red walked up to him and held out the bag that she had brought. Tara was standing behind Willow, watching shyly.

“What’s this?” Spike asked, taking the bag from her.

“Well, it’s a gift. A couple of things that Tara and I cooked up. Some protection spells, some new candles, the amulet of Bytanor…” Willow said, and Spike looked up at her shocked.

“Oh, so you know what that one is.” Willow smiled as Spike fished the amulet out of the bag.

“And what it does. Where did you get this?”

“Actually, I’ve had it for awhile. Tara came across it a few months ago at the Summer solstice celebration, and we held on to it incase we ever needed it. Cause, you know, you save us an awful lot, but that’s usually during the night, and hey- evil doesn’t always wait until nighttime, I mean, just look at Glory! I wish that we had this amulet when she was around. Not that I want her still around! And I’m babbling, so I’m stopping now.”

Spike held up the amulet so that he could see it better. It was on a short silver chain with a circular moonstone the size of a nickel at the center. Embedded on top of the stone was an intricate crescent moon made of silver. He could actually feel the magic vibrations coming from the amulet. After all, most charms for vampires require some of the highest magics.

“Thanks Red, Tara. I wish I could use it right now. I haven’t seen the sun in…well, no, actually, I saw the sun about three years ago when I had the Gem of Amara…”

“Yep, just think, no more running around underneath blankets.” Buffy added, to get the subject off of that day with the Gem of Amara.

“Good riddance!” Spike said as he undid the clasp and put it on around his neck.

“Hm, and not only does it protect vampires from getting all dusty in the sun, it’s also a cool fashion accessory.” Buffy said cheerily.

“Buffy, that’s not all it does. He’ll be able to see himself in a mirror too.” Willow said proudly, obviously pleased with her self.

“No way! That is so cool!” Dawn said as she rummaged through her purse to pull out her compact mirror to give to Spike.

“Nope, I got something better Dawnie.” Willow said as she fished around in the bag and pulled out a handheld mirror the size of a dinner plate. She handed it to Spike face down. He stared at the back of the mirror for a moment, trying to prepare himself. He could barely remember what he looked like when he was turned. He knew he had blue eyes and high cheekbones, but that was about all he could remember. He quickly glanced at all of the Scoobs watching him intently, then turned the mirror over and held it up so he could see in it.

“Cor…” He gaped. “Bloody hell, that’s what I look like? No wonder the ladies swoon.”

His comment earned several unanimous groans and sighs.

* * *

Next Chapter: Trust

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