I hear voices, but they don't seem to be close. At first, I can't make out the words, but then it becomes clearer.

"Strap him in. No need to be gentle."

"I think he's rousing. Should we do something?"

"Yes, give him this. He's the one that escaped last time. We can't take any chances."

"I thought he was a vampire. He's warm."

"Well, it's probably some sort of trick. We've to take him to the lab, and they'll sort him out."

About then, I feel a needle in my arm, and the voices fade again.

*-*-*

Getting Buffy home after her realisation about Spike was a major effort. She wanted to go after them, the Initiative, Riley, anyone or anything who might be responsible for Spike's disappearance. There was no plan involved, just the need to do something, but the state she was in, she was a danger to anyone who crossed her path, and to herself. Only the promise that I would ask Jenna to join us, to see if she could do some sort of location spell persuaded her to go home.

It was taking some getting used to, but I was eventually getting the idea that Buffy's feelings for Spike were real, and that there was nothing she wouldn't do for him.

I quickly explained the situation to Jenna, and she arrived within half an hour. Half an hour during which Buffy had paced and ranted about what she was going to do with whoever was responsible. It did give me a better insight to Buffy's new status though. There was something quite clearly demonic in the way she was acting. I know Buffy. I don't think many people know her better. I've seen her grow from a child to a young woman. I've seen her deal with betrayal and death. I've seen her die, and come back. And, I've got to say, she's been different since she came back. At first I thought it was because she'd been in Hell. Then, when we knew otherwise, it was because she'd been in Heaven. Now, I know, it's just that she's different.

She's always been single-minded. She'd never have survived everything life has thrown at her if she hadn't been. But, what I'm seeing this evening is something else again. When I think that only a short time ago, she lost Dawn, to now lose Spike too … Well it would be enough to break someone. And it could well break her. But, I don't want to be around to see her broken, because I can't help but think that she might just try to break the world.

Jenna sets things up in the kitchen, away from Buffy's pacing in the living room. She looked nervously at the Slayer as she came in, and I took pains to explain her recent past in more detail than I had before. When Jenna announces that she's ready, I see Buffy taking several deep breaths, then walking into the kitchen. Her knuckles are white with the tension of keeping herself together.

Jenna performs the spell, starting with a map of the local area. When there's no result, she repeats it with a map of the United States. Again there's no result. She repeats it a third time, with a map of the World. Again no result. She looks perplexed. I must look puzzled, and Buffy's looking incredulous.

"What does it mean?" she demands.

I don't know, so I look to Jenna for an answer. She positively cringes from the force of Buffy's question.

"I think it means they've got him shielded somehow. It could mean they've used a portal to take him to another dimension, but that's so dangerous, I can't believe anyone would attempt it. I've got other spells I can try, more powerful ones which might be able to overcome a shield, depending on how it was erected. It'll take some time, though. And, some rather specialised ingredients."

"The Magic Box should be able to provide what you need," I assure her. "If we don't have it in stock, we can order it. We can go first thing in the morning."

"Give me a list," Buffy's voice replies coldly. "I'll go and get Anya to open up, and we'll get what we need now."

"Well, yes, we could, I suppose. I've got keys, …."

Buffy doesn't even wait for me to stop. She's outside and waiting at my car before I even finish the sentence.

"Is tonight ok?" I ask Jenna. She nods, rather bemusedly, and we join Buffy at the car.

Once at the shop, I suggest to Buffy that she go into the training room while Jenna and I look out what's needed. She agrees, and we can soon hear the unmistakable sounds of a Slayer taking out her angst on a punch bag. Well, better that than something living.

It quickly becomes apparent that we haven't got everything Jenna needs. The supplier will be closed for the night, and there's nothing we can do until the morning. Even worse, the only supplier we have for that particular ingredient isn't known for speedy delivery. I'm just wondering how to break the news to Buffy when the bell rings, and someone walks into the shop.

Of all the people it could be, it couldn't be much worse. It's Riley Finn.

"Evening, Giles," he starts, looking completely at ease.

I'm praying that Buffy's so wrapped up in beating up the punch bag that she doesn't hear. I no longer have any positive feelings for the man at the door, but I don't want to see him beaten to a bloody pulp, which is what I'm afraid I'll see if Buffy notices him.

"Riley, this isn't a good time. Perhaps you could come back tomorrow?"

"What's up? Not like you not to welcome me. I'm looking for Buffy. There was no one at home, so I thought I'd check here."

"She's not here," I lie, hoping he'll believe me.

"Then who's that in the training room?" he asks, walking towards the door.

I step between him and the door, desperate to stop him getting there. He pushes me aside as if I were insignificant, and I realise there's more to Riley than I'd thought. I know he was super-charged before, in his Professor Walsh days, but I thought all that was over. It nearly killed him, and I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to risk that again.

He's half way to the door, when Buffy appears. She's surprisingly calm, apparently.

"Riley, what're you doing here?" she asks.

"I came to see you," he replies, still as casual as you like. The tension in the room is terrible, all the real emotion like an undercurrent to the actual words.

"You didn't notice me last time I came, so I thought I'd make up for that."

"Oh, last time, the day you killed my sister?"

"Dawn? Never saw her. Don't know who killed her, although I could make a guess. I suppose it’s a natural consequence of keeping company with a vampire."

Could he have said anything worse? I can't see how. Yet, Buffy hasn't moved yet.

"Spike didn't kill her, you did. You just had to go on meddling with things you don't understand. You and the others. The Initiative, or whatever they call themselves these days. So, what've you done with Spike?"

He seems surprised that she knows about Spike, but does his best not to let it show.

"Well, I heard he was working at the high school, and well, we had to do something. I just put in a word with the people I work for, and they agreed he was a danger to the people of Sunnydale, and decided to take him in hand."

"He wasn't a danger. Now, if you'll just tell me where he is, I might decide not to take out my frustration on your face."

He shakes his head, a parody of pity. "I thought once he was out of the way, whatever spell he's put you under would go. Maybe there's a delay on it. You'll appreciate it some day, or you would, if I could let you live."

I see it with my own eyes, but I know I'll never believe it. Riley's at the doorway to the training room, right next to Buffy faster than I've ever seen anything move. He's glowing slightly, a sickly pink/purple colour, and I see with sudden clarity what's happened. He's the reservoir for the remains of the energy from the Orb of Fire. I feel fear for the first time, not that Buffy will kill him, but that he will kill her.

Suddenly, there's a flash, and both of the people in the doorway freeze. I turn around to the origin of the flash, and see Jenna. She's looking pale. I had forgotten she was here, and apparently, Riley either didn't notice her, or didn't consider her a threat.

"Thanks," I manage. "Can we separate them?"

She nods, and pulls her arms apart in an unmistakable gesture. The two figures separate, Riley returning to the far side of the shop.

"What was that?" she asks.

I explain as much as I can, including the history about which she knows nothing. She takes it remarkably well, nodding as I speak.

"I know you live on the Hellmouth," she comments when I've finished, "but I didn't realise life her was quite so ……. Exciting."

I smile at the comment. At that moment, she reminds me so much of Jenny that my heart almost stops. It's not that she looks like her, it's the expression. It's so like the one Jenny gave me the first time she realised the sort of thing I deal with as a matter of course.

"So, what do we do now?" she asks.

"Well, I'd like to question Finn further," I begin. "But, we've got to keep him under control. He's the host to a terrible power, and it's obvious that it's using him to kill Buffy. He hated Spike, always did, so handing him over to the Initiative is no surprise. But, Riley loves Buffy. He wouldn't knowingly harm her, so I can only assume it's that power that's responsible."

"And Buffy?"

"Well, we need to get her home, and get her calmed down. It's the first time I've seen her like this. Maybe it's knowing she's no longer human that allows that part of her to come forward. Regardless, our priority must be to find Spike. That, and understanding why this power wants Buffy dead."

She nods, and she's obviously thinking about the best way to achieve what's needed. "Where do you want Riley?" she asks.

I consider the options. There's only one I can think of, and it's far from ideal. Then I have a second thought.

"I was thinking about Buffy's house. There's a basement which is fairly secure, but there's another option. There's a mansion, belongs to another vampire, but I know where the keys are. There are chains and suchlike there. That's probably the safest place. Is there something you can do to improve the strength of a set of chains?"

"Well, yes, but …"

She hesitated, and I understand. There was a time when I'd have balked at the idea of chaining up a human being, but I know better now. Some humans are simply too dangerous to be allowed freedom. And, until we come up with a way to free Riley of the power in him, he definitely comes under that category.

"Please," I plead. "You saw him. He's dangerous. You must see that."

She nods.

It's after midnight when we finally get Buffy back to her house. Jenna mutters the words that reverse the spell, and Buffy looks momentarily confused.

"Where's Riley?" she asks.

"He's safe for now."

"I don't want him safe, I want him dead."

"I understand that, Buffy, but I'm sure he can tell us something about where Spike is. And, he's not himself. He's been taken over by the power that destroyed Dawn. I don't know the details, but he's incredibly powerful. He might even be a match for you. You saw the speed with which he got to you. That power wants you dead, and I'm not going to tell you where to find him. I'll question him, see if I can get anything useful out of him, and then we'll go from there. In the meantime, the best we can do is get a night's sleep. We can't get the ingredients for the spell until tomorrow at the earliest, and probably not then. I'll put the order in first thing, and we'll take if from there."

She slumps in front of me. All the bravado, all the strength seems to ebb out of her. She's looking like a lost child again. I approach her and put my arms around her. She starts to sob, and I don't know what to do.

"I need him, Giles. We've got to find him. I can't live without him, not now. Not after everything. Find him for me, please."

"I will," I promise. I've no idea at present how I'm going to keep that promise, but I'll do it if there's any way I can.

I support Buffy as she walks up the stairs, and I see her to the door of her bedroom. She walks inside, and collapses on the bed. I'm loath to leave her, so I close the door, and go downstairs. I tell Jenna that I'm planning on staying here, and offer to call a cab to take her back to my flat. She agrees, and soon after, she's gone.

I make my way upstairs, listening for a few seconds at Buffy's door. I can still make out the hitched breathing and the occasional sob, and my heart's breaking for her. She doesn't deserve this. And, I realise, neither does Spike, wherever he is.

I spent the night unable to sleep, fury and frustration at my inactivity contributing equally to my insomnia. Close to sunrise, I must have finally achieved my goal, because the next thing I know it's late - almost noon. I get up, fully intending to start my search for Riley. I shower quickly, and dress for slaying. I rush downstairs, surprised that my stomach is telling me to eat. Normally, when I'm worried, the thought of food can make me nauseous, but this time, I find I'm ravenous.

I go into the kitchen, intent on finding something to assuage my hunger quickly, and I'm surprised to see Giles sitting there. He's got some notes in front of him that I recognise as the information we got before Dawn was taken from us. There's also a pad, and it's covered with Giles' indecipherable scrawl.

He looks up as I go in, almost cringing. It gives me a moment of guilt. I came close to doing violence to him last night because he wouldn't tell me where Riley was. It felt like he was in the way, and in my anger, I just wanted to remove the obstacles between me and Spike.

Somehow, today, the human traits within me have reasserted themselves. My goal is still to find Spike, and I've got no problem with the prospect of hurting Riley, but Giles is a different matter.

He's looking at me warily, so I try to show him I'm back to normal, or whatever is normal for a demon of my kind. "It's ok, Giles, you're safe."

"I didn't doubt it," he answers with that calm expression he has.

"I'm just going to grab something to eat, then I'm going to head out, try to find out what I can."

"By all means, Buffy, but first, there's something I need to discuss with you."

"No, Giles, nothing's more important than finding Spike."

"Not more important, perhaps, but I'd wager what I've got to tell you is as important. And, if you'll sit for a while, I'll take you to Riley, providing you promise to let me do the questioning, at least at first."

I can't imagine what could possibly be as important as getting Spike back, but if it'll save me time finding Riley, then I'm willing to sit for a while. I grab a bowl, fill it with some cereal, and drown it in milk. I pull up a stool opposite Giles, and between mouthfuls, I manage, "So, what's as important as Spike?"

"Well, I'll tell you in a moment, but first, I've had a call from the hospital, and they want to release Willow. It might be easier if she comes here. There's room for Willow and Jenna here, me too if you're willing to let me have the sofa, and I'd like to think Willow had some magical support for a while - something Jenna's much more suited to than I am."

"Sure, she can come here, you can have my room, too. I can always stay at Spike's flat."

He nods his acceptance of this. I'm surprised, because I'd thought that part of his being here was that he wanted to keep an eye on me too.

I'm looking expectantly at him, and he's staring back, looking as if he's trying to read something on my face. "Ok, Giles, what's so important?" I ask, refilling my cereal bowl, before starting to empty it again.

"Well, I had the results of the DNA tests this morning. I called, and …"

"So, how closely was Dawn related to me?" I demand.

"Closer than we thought. The test showed clearly a very close relationship. You share about half your DNA with her."

"That means she's really my sister, doesn't it? But how can that be?"

"It's one possible interpretation. The other is that she's your daughter."

He starts on other things then, I suppose he's giving me a chance to take in that fact. He thinks it's going to be a shock, but I realise I already knew. My hands are on my stomach, caressing the daughter I know is there. I hadn't gone so far as to put it into words, but I knew.

"It's fascinating, really. Your DNA's so close to being human, it's more as if you're some sort of new human than a demon. The differences are minute, perhaps you're just an evolved form."

"Dawn's my daughter," I murmur.

"Well, yes, it would seem so. Her father, is .."

"Spike," I finish for him.

He looks surprised at my certainty.

"Well, yes, it would appear so. But, it may not be for some time. We don't know what the future holds for the two of you."

He's noticed my hands at last, and he looks at me questioningly. "It makes sense," I tell him. "That's why Dawn was laughing. She knew. She knew that she'd be conceived that night. The same night she left."

He's looking a little shocked.

"The night Dawn left, we, well, we forgot Spike's not a vampire any more."

I wait for the disapproving expression or words. They don't come.

Instead he says, "Are you sure?"

"Well, I haven't done a test yet, but I am late, and yet, yes, I'm sure."

"I see." The words are accompanied by a deep sigh.

"This puts a different complexion on things. And, it explains Riley's insistence

that he had to kill you. If Riley's the reservoir of the last of the energy from the Orb of Fire, he's being compelled to destroy you. Not because of you, but because it wants to ensure that Dawn will never be born."

I can't think of what to say. I don't remember the detail of what was said last night. The only thought I had then was the need to pound Spike's whereabouts out of Riley.

"He was trying to kill me, then?"

"That's what he said. He said you'd be grateful that he'd got rid of Spike, or at least you would if he could let you live. Then, he moved so fast, it was as if he teleported. If Jenna hadn't stopped him .."

"If Jenna hadn't stopped me, Anya would be cleaning Riley's blood off the floor today."

"I'm not so sure, he's different. He's certainly faster, and he approached you as if he knew he could take you. And, remember, Riley knows how good you are."

"Wrong, Giles. Riley knew how good I was as a human. I'm not human any more."

He nods, and I know he realises. It doesn't matter how close my DNA is to being human. There's something in me that wasn't there before. Last year, I coped with it by hurting Spike. During the summer, I survived on believing that everything would get better, by trying harder with everything. It worked, but I don't know how long I could have kept it up. Recently, I've been learning how to cope with it by being with Spike, by loving him and letting him love me. Without him .. I'm not sure I even want to try. The fury at those who've taken him starts to rise. Before, they had taken the man I love. Now he's also the father of my unborn child, and that stirs an extra helping of anger into the mix. Giles must see something of my thoughts on my face. He knows what I'm planning, if not in detail, then in general outline.

"And, what about Dawn? If you are pregnant, you've got to think about her. She needs you like she never has before. And this time, there's no one else who can protect her. You're her mother, and your first priority must be to keep yourself safe, so that she's safe too."

I bring my fist down on the kitchen worktop, hard, jarring plates and cutlery. I know he's right, but .. I just feel so useless. The Initiative has got Spike again, and he's telling me I've got to look after myself. And, the worst part is, I know Spike would say the same thing.

"Ok," I agree. "If I'm pregnant, I'll need to rethink things. But, I'm not going to sit with my feet up. I've got to do something. And, you did promise we'd go and see Riley now."

"I did. I'll just call Jenna, and we'll go."

"Why Jenna?"

"Firstly, we need Jenna to remove the spell so we can actually talk to him. Then, if anything happens, Jenna can immobilise him again. I'm not sure what else could achieve that. Until we know more about what we're facing, I think we should go prepared."

He's right. He normally is, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I shrug. I need to find out what Riley knows. If need be, I can go and do some investigating on my own later. Anyway, I need to keep in with Giles until Jenna does her new spells. It just breaks my heart remembering how Spike was when he remembered Dawson, and what she made him do. The thought that he could be suffering like that again makes my blood boil.

*-*-*

They tried to do as before. They tried to strap me to a table, and open me up, see how I work, like I'm a bloody machine. I struggled, and, the restraints started to give. I thought I was going to get away, but they had a needle in my arm before I could do anything worthwhile, and now, all I've got are snatches. As the drug wears off, I become aware of what's happening, of pain, of parts of conversations, then there's a needle again, and I'm back in the dark.

Every time I sleep, I hear Dawn. She's telling me to be strong, to endure. She's telling me it won't be long, that I'll see her again soon.

The pain's all over. The words I hear don't make sense, at least not to me, not at first. I don't know how many cycles of sleeping and wakening I've been through. Slowly, it's becoming clearer. I think the time I'm out of it is getting shorter each time, because I hear the almost-panic in their voices, and instructions to increase the dose. Each time I'm aware, the pain is everywhere. It's on the surface, and it's bone deep. I don't know how it feels to move, because I haven't had the chance yet. Consciousness arrives before muscle control, and, each time, just as I'm feeling able to flex my arms, the needle returns. Time has no meaning. Dawn fills my dreams, and Buffy my waking thoughts. I have to endure, and to return to her. Nothing else matters.

All night, I've been unable to move. Something inside me has been struggling to get through the barrier that has held my body immobile, and now, it's in the background, as if its efforts have sapped its strength. I know it'll be back, though. It's not gone, just regrouping, preparing to take over my mind again, and with it, my body.

I was going to kill Buffy last night. I can't believe it could control me enough to do that. I loved my wife, but I also love Buffy. I hate what she does, I hate that she could bring herself to sleep with a demon, with Spike, but I still love her.

Sam. Thoughts of my wife have been rare recently. The other presence won't allow me to think about her too much, because the memory of her death is too much for me, it causes the real me to surface too much.

Although I can't move, I can see and hear perfectly. I hear them coming, know before I see them who it is. They approach, three of them, the same three as last night. I don't know who the witch is. She's the reason I'm here, the reason I didn't succeed in my attempt to kill Buffy. She's watching me as she approaches, wary in case I've managed to get out of the constraints she's put me in. Hardly likely. As well as the immobilisation spell, they've got me chained to the wall.

Giles asks her to reverse the spell, and she does so. The relief is tremendous. Every muscle in my body aches like I can't remember before. I make no attempt to pull on the chains, since I want them to trust me. I hate to admit it, but I need them to get rid of whatever it is that's inside me. My training tells me to go back to the unit, that someone there will be able to help, but my instinct tells me otherwise. It tells me that maybe, I'll be the next subject for experimentation.

"Riley," Giles begins. I'm surprised, I'd expected Buffy to lead the way. That's how it always was before. I look at her, and I understand. The anger in her eyes is something living, and it's trying to devour her. I realise he's afraid of what she'll do if she's allowed to get too close, and I know that the witch isn't just here to protect them. She's here to protect me too.

"We need information, and I'd like to get it without any unpleasantness. But, believe me, if we don't get what we want, I don’t think I'll be able to stop Buffy from doing as she wanted to last night."

I nod. My throat's dry, and I try swallowing a couple of times, so I can talk.

"Where is Spike?" The words are enunciated clearly, so there can be no doubt that he's serious.

"Look, Giles, I want to help you. Truth is, I need your help, so I'll tell you what I can, but I don't think it'll be enough. I think they'd have taken him to the base at the old Initiative headquarters."

"Well, we wouldn't have thought of that, would we?" Buffy's voice drips sarcasm. It sounds more like something Spike would say, and that makes me feel uncomfortable.

"Giles, listen. When I went back, fighting demons, they did a debrief on me before they let me into action. They know everything about you, and what you can do, that I know. If they realise you're going to be looking for him, then it stands to reason they'd take precautions."

"I'm sure you can do better than that," Giles encourages. In the background, Buffy's pacing, her impatience obvious in every step. I drag my attention back to Giles.

"Listen, I'll tell you what I can. Like I said, I need your help, so I'm not looking to hold out, but remember, they picked me up too. Weren't exactly gentle. I was able to persuade them I was just in shock, after what happened to .. Sam, and they've given me leave and set up for me to see a counsellor. But, I'm not top of the list for sharing secret information."

"So, what is it you want our help with?" Giles asks mildly. He's trying to gauge the truth of what I'm saying, but that doesn't matter. He's good at interrogation, that much is obvious.

"There's something .. in me. I don't know what it is, but I've got to admit I'm scared. It's what I've always feared, more than anything, that one day a demon would infect me in some way. Never worried too much about death, but the idea that a subT could get inside my body, take it over, that's my nightmare. And it's happening. It's inside, and it's making me do things. Something about the spell last night has forced it down, but it's still there, and I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep it down."

"And when do you think you got infected?"

"I'm not sure, but I think it was the day Sam died. I felt this .. pain, like a knife in my back, but it was gone in an instant. Since then, it's been growing in power, and I'd all but lost the ability to control it, until the spell."

Giles nods to the witch, a silent request to be vigilant, and comes closer. He pulls me away from the wall, just enough to lift my sweatshirt up my back. He must see something, because he calls Buffy to look.

"There's a mark there," she offers.

"Yes. It looks like a scar, but the surface skin seems just discoloured."

"Did you know it was there?"

"No, I haven't had much chance to look in mirrors."

He lets that comment go, returning to the questions.

"And what's this .. entity forcing you to do?"

"It wants me to kill Buffy."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it's not clear, it's something about redressing a balance, but I don't understand. It's as if killing Buffy is the only aim it has."

Giles sighs deeply.

"Can I hit him now?" Buffy buts in, impatiently coming between Giles and me. I flinch away from her. I remember what it's like to be on the receiving end of her fists, and she didn't want to hurt me last time.

"Buffy, wait. I think he's telling the truth."

"You mean you believe me?" I'm amazed that he seems to have accepted my story at face value.

"Well, I had a theory which fits very closely with what you told me."

"What is it? Is it a demon? What did it do to me? I'm not a vampire, I know that, I'm still breathing."

"I don't believe it's a demon per se." He's looking at Buffy as he speaks, trying to get her agreement to tell me what they know. She nods, almost imperceptibly, and Giles continues.

"The energy inside the Orb of Fire was placed there .."

"Orb of fire? What's that?"

"The sphere you were analysing. The one you destroyed."

"But how ..? That was top secret."

"We found a prophecy. It had to do with Buffy's sister, Dawn. A long time ago, there was a malevolent energy, something which threatened to destroy the world. Those who inhabited the earth at that time, found a way to encapsulate it, contain it, until an antidote could be found. That .. antidote was eventually given human form, and it was left to increase in strength until it was sufficient to completely annihilate the evil. That human was given to Buffy as a sister. Her job, and that of Spike, was to protect her until the cycle was complete. At some time in the future, the Orb was due to degrade and allow the energy to escape. At the right time, it would have been completely absorbed by the antidote, which was known as the Key. Your meddling caused the Orb to fail before its time, triggering the demise of Buffy's sister, but at a time before balance was attained. There was some of the evil remaining, and we believe it took up residence in your body."

Well, what do you say to that? "Prophecy?" I manage weakly.

"Yes, I know you scientific types don't hold a lot of store by it, but these things do exist, and are best not ignored. We knew about it, and were actively searching for the Orb when you came back to Sunnydale. Unfortunately, you got your hands on it rather than us."

"And it destroyed Dawn? The same thing that destroyed Sam destroyed Dawn?"

He nods, but I know it was different. My memories of that awful day are blurred after I left the lab, but I don't remember any more screaming.

"Why didn't she scream?"

"Who?"

"Dawn. Why didn't she scream? The others did. I saw them, dissolving, their flesh melting off their bones. Their screams were .. agonising."

"That's not how it was for Dawn. Perhaps she was protected by the Key energy."

"I'm sorry about Sam." I snap my head around. It's the first thing Buffy's said in a while. I nod my gratitude. If she lost her sister too, maybe she understands. Then I realise, it's another death on my conscience.

"So, you really don't know where Spike is?" she's asking. Her body language is different. She came in here, a predator, looking to hurt me. That's gone. She looks lost.

"He might still be at the base, but I doubt it. In any case, the security's tight."

I look at her. I need to ask, even though I suspect it'll result in her lashing out at me. "Why does he matter?"

I see her tense, but she doesn't hit me. "Because I love him."

"But he's a demon. How can you love a demon? I couldn't understand Angel, but at least he had a soul."

"Spike has a soul, too. He went and got one. Not a curse, something he actually wanted to get, so I could love him. Silly thing is, I already did."

"But he's a demon, Buffy."

"Yes, Riley, and so am I."

I don't know what to make of that. It's obviously not true, it's something Spike's made her believe, but to my surprise, Giles doesn't contradict her.

"You know something, Buffy?" I ask.

"What?"

"When we were together, I put your name down as a contact if anything, you know, happened. I didn't change that when I married Sam. I mean, she was there too, but I didn't take you off the list. You know why?"

She shakes her head. I can tell she's not really interested, but I go on anyway.

"It's 'cos, I've always been scared I'd end up a demon. You know, vampire or whatever. I wanted you to know if something happened to me, because I hoped you'd hunt me down, kill whatever had taken over my body. I couldn't bear the thought of .. being like that."

"And what is that to me?"

"Look, Buffy, I'm asking you to help me. I don't know what it is that's controlling me, but it's taking my humanity. If you can't get rid of it, please, just kill me."

"Riley," Giles interrupts. "Why should we help you? We can research, try to find a way to rid you of this energy, we might even be able to come up with something strong enough to hold it, at least temporarily. But, keeping you here's an option too. While you're here, you're not a danger to us, and there's no reason for us to do anything."

"Look, I thought you'd do it just because it's right. But, if you help, I'll do what I can. It goes against everything I believe in, but I'll help you find Spike. I may not be much use right away, but once they think I'm over Sam's death, I've got a fighting chance of getting onto the team. Then, I'll pass on whatever information you need."

"Ok," Giles replies. "We'll consider your offer. Then, if we agree, we've got to find a way of freeing you of this energy. So, Jenna, if you would .."

She nods, but before she can say anything, I feel the other presence fighting for prominence.

"It's coming back," I warn, as my arms start to pull at the chains. I'm losing control again, and the fear that had been pushed aside is rising again. They can see the terror on my face, and all I see on theirs is pity.

The witch recites her incantation, and my limbs freeze in place. I feel the roar of frustration inside, but it never erupts from me. As I am pushed down, my thoughts are all around the hope that Buffy will save me.

*-*-*

More pain. Just as I start to be aware, start to hear, I feel the needle, and it goes again. Not the pain, that's there all the time, even when I'm out. I feel it, and I'm having dreams, well, nightmares would be closer, to account for it. Dawn's no longer there. Angelus figures pretty large in them. Him and Darla. Oh, and the Hellbitch too.

I hear snatches of conversation as I come to the surface, but

it doesn't make a lot of sense. This time, as I come up, I make an effort to remain still, make them think I'm still out, try to find out something about what's happening.

"Samples complete?"

"Yes, that ought to do."

"Is the lab ready for them?"

"They've been calling for hours. Desperate to get to work."

"Well, he's finished. We'll bandage him so he doesn't bleed everywhere, and give him to the special team."

"What're they going to do with him?"

"Damned if I know. I wouldn't like the job of keeping him under control, I know that."

"I heard the special team's so top secret, even the President doesn't have security clearance."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Give him another jab to keep him quiet while he's transferred. Wouldn't do to have him coming round until they're ready to control him."

Then, there's the inevitable needle, and soon, I'm back with Angelus. The only thing that's keeping me sane is the knowledge that Buffy will look for me. She'll do it out of duty if not love. And, I'm almost starting to believe she'll do it out of love.

Giles didn't speak to me until we were back in his car. When we were both seated, and Jenna had climbed into the back, he put his keys in the ignition, then turned to face me.

"Thank you, Buffy."

"Why?"

"For your restraint. I know it wasn't easy."

I shrug. "Easier than you think."

He turns back to me in surprise.

"He's scared," I explain.

"Yes, he said he was."

"Giles, I don't mean he said he was scared. I could feel it. When Dawn .. was attacked, Spike knew because he could feel it. I realised I had felt it too, I just didn't understand then what it meant."

"You can feel fear from anyone?"

"Probably, but for most people, it's only if I'm close. I could feel Dawn's fear even when she wasn't. And, I've felt Spike's a couple of times. There's no hint that he's close, just that he's scared."

"But, you felt Riley's fear?"

I nod. The memory is almost enough to induce nausea. He's terrified. It almost makes his behaviour understandable. He's so scared he'll become a demon, he thinks he's failed while a single one walks the earth. And now, that fear includes me.

He pulls out onto the road. "So, what're your plans for today?"

"Keep on looking, asking, see if I can find anything. From what I've picked up, there haven't been any large-scale demon disappearances. I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm coming up with zero. What's the situation on the ingredients for Jenna's spell?"

"Well, Anya was going to order them first thing this morning. I've offered to collect if it'll speed things up - it's only a two-hour drive. I'll call in later and see what they said."

"So, Jenna," I ask, "what's so different about the new spells?"

"Well, one will track, not just where he is, but it should pick up evidence of where he has been. It should be possible to actually follow him from where he was last known to be."

"That should find him," I reply. I'm relieved. I have another thought. "What if they've flown him out of the country?"

"Well, it should still follow him, but it might be difficult for us to follow the trail unless we're also airborne. "

"Ok. You said spells? What's the other one do?"

"It's more sensitive, but otherwise similar to what I've already tried. It should be able to get through shielding, but it depends on the strength of the shield. If my coven was doing the shielding, it wouldn't work. It depends on the strength of the witch."

"You know what I can't figure?" I go on. "The Initiative using a witch. The people I met wouldn't have taken one seriously. I mean, electronic gizmos, yeah, they had all those, but magic?"

"Yes, I know, Buffy." Giles speaks without looking towards me. "But, if Riley really told him everything he knows, and, more importantly, if they've been watching us since, well, since the Initiative left, then they know how powerful a tool it can be. And, if they're in this to win, they'd be fools not to use it. And, I've never thought they were fools. Misguided? Certainly. Xenophobic? Quite probably."

"I wonder," I muse, as something occurs to me. "We know they tried some sort of brainwashing, or mind control or something on Spike. What if they did the same to their own people? The fear Riley's feeling, I don't think it's natural. I mean, I've been around lots of people who're afraid. It kinda goes with the territory. You rescue someone from being a vamp's next meal, you know the victim's afraid. I've felt it. But, what Riley's feeling, that's something else again."

Giles pulls in front of my house. "You may have something there, Buffy. I'll root around some contacts I have, and see if there's any information. I'm not hopeful, but you never know. Jenna and I are going to the hospital to see Willow. They want to discuss her discharge, and the sort of care she's going to need. Are you sure she can come here?"

"Yeah, there're three rooms. Two of them are ready, all they need is clean bed linen. The other room, well, I can clear the rest of the stuff into the basement, and then, it'll be ok. I mean, it's nothing special, but it'll be ok."

"Fine. I'll let you know when they plan to allow her home. And, I'll be in touch later anyway to let you know about the spell."

We say goodbyes, and I go inside. It's my home, but it doesn't feel like it any more.

There's not actually a lot I can do this early in the day anyway, so I spend some time doing the clearing out and bed changing that I promised. I also pack myself a bag of essentials. If I'm going to stay at Spike's, I need a few more changes than I'd already taken there.

The work actually helps. I mean, it's brainless, but it's physical, and it helps me get over the antsy feeling I've got that I should be out searching for Spike.

I haven't felt anything from him for a while, and the thought that he might be dead is pushing its way into my mind. I'm forcing it away. I can't really believe he could die without me feeling something. I can't explain it, I just feel sure I'd know.

I use the toilet before I leave, and I remember my decision to buy a pregnancy test. I'll do it on my way to Spike's and do the test there. It seems more appropriate somehow.

An hour later, I throw my things into Spike's room. It looks like we left it, just a couple of days ago. It's hard to believe he's gone, and I've no idea where he is. I'm tempted to lie on the bed, to feel him close to me, his smell, our smell still on the bedclothes, but I won't allow myself that comfort. I go into the bathroom to do the test, reading the instructions several times to make sure I can't make a mistake. It really does seem foolproof. But then, they never saw me in a Chem lab. For an instant, I wish Willow was here, but as soon as I think that, I realise I don't want her. There's only one person who should be sharing this with me, and he can't.

I've followed the instructions, now I've got to wait two minutes. I never knew two minutes could be so long. I know what the result's going to be, and yet my heart's hammering in my chest. It sounds like I've just done a strenuous round with Spike, whether fighting, or other .. activities.

At last, the time's up. I look at the window in the test stick.

*-*-*

I waken slowly, the pain which has even filtered into my dreams is still there. I look around, carefully. There's not a lot of light, but then, I don't need a lot. The first thing I realise, is I'm no longer restrained. That speeds up the waking process considerably, and I take a good look around.

That takes all of about two seconds. I've been in some boring rooms before, but this one takes the biscuit. There's nothing to see. The walls and the floor and the ceiling merge into one another. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was inside a sphere. I stretch out on the 'floor', and realise I was right. I'm inside a sphere. It's difficult to get a clear idea, but I try to estimate how big it is. Maybe twenty feet in diameter. There's no door of any kind that I can see, no windows, no bed, no furniture, no carpet, no nothing but me. I have no idea of where I am, or what the Initiative intends, other than to hurt me.

I take a look at myself. I'm dressed, after a fashion. I suppose you'd call what I'm wearing some sort of hospital gown. It stops above my knees, and it ties at the back. Not exactly my outfit of choice. Can't imagine anyone would choose to wear one. I give myself the once over. I've got scars and open wounds

all over. And, I mean, all over. It's like they were taking samples of every type of tissue they could.

I remember the last conversation I overheard. They were talking about samples. Why would they want samples of me? I have absolutely no idea, but I'm going to make it my job to try and find out. That's always assuming they don't simply leave me here to starve to death. I suppose it also assumes that they can actually let me out of here, 'cos, from where I'm sitting, there doesn't seem to be any way out.

My thoughts inevitably go to Buffy. Of all the times for me to be gone, this has got to be the worst. She's just lost Dawn, she's bereft, and I'm not there to look after her. Frustration fills me and I bring my fist down on the surface beside me. It's strangely yielding, but only to a point. Apart from the shape, it reminds me a bit of a padded cell. Now, that's a worrying prospect. Do they actually expect me to go mad?

I can feel Buffy suddenly. She's sad. Well, hardly surprising. I feel like she's trying to reach me, and I know she'll do it. I don't know how, but she will. Nothing stops my girl when she makes her mind up about something. If they think I'm going to give up under the pressure of being here, they've figured without me knowing Buffy's looking for me. And, they've chosen the wrong man. I mean, I survived life with Angelus. They can't do anything to match that. Purely physical pain could never match up to what he could do. And, while I know Buffy's looking for me, they can't touch me mentally. I feel myself grin. It's not a nice grin, I know that. I'm going to get through this, and whoever's responsible will suffer. And, top of the list is Dawson.

I knew what the result would be, but I'm still feeling shock. It's kind of hard to believe. It's not so long ago, I was a child, looking to my mom for what I needed. Ok, more recently, I was the typical teenager, rebelling against the restraints she put on me. Of course, some of those restraints were only a problem because I was the Slayer, and my mom didn't know. But later, just when we could have started to be really good friends, when she really understood what my life was, she was taken from me. I wonder what she'd think if she were still here. My mom, a grandmother. I don't suppose she was much older than I am when I was born, so I don't think she'd worry about that. And, she always did like Spike.

Then I remember who it is I'm carrying. It's Dawn. I mean, it could be another person, and Dawn could be coming later, but I don't really believe that. I go back into the bedroom, glancing out of the window. It's still daylight, and I know I can't do a lot until it's dark. Anyway, I'm still waiting to hear from Giles about the spell. It'd be so much easier to look for Spike if I actually have some clue where to start.

I'm tired. I suspect it's as much the emotional strain of recently as the physical demands, but that's not important. I give in to my earlier urge, and go and wrap myself in Spike's scent in his bed.

"I'm sorry, Dawn," I whisper. "Daddy should be here too, and as soon as I can arrange it, he's coming back to us. Till then, it's just you and me. I'll take care of you, do everything I can to keep you safe. But, finding your Daddy is important to your safety too. I know you know understand."

As I speak, I'm gently rubbing my stomach, trying to comfort the child inside. If she feels like I do, she needs comfort. She needs Spike, we both do.

I called her Dawn. I don't suppose that's the best idea. It'll be too confusing to give her the same name again. I need another name, but I'll have to choose it carefully. I make a mental note to buy a book of baby names. Not that I'm going to decide alone. That's something Spike and I will do together. Still, it won't hurt to have some ideas.

Rolled in the covers, surrounded by his scent, my hands on my stomach, imagining both of us, baby and me, wrapped in Spike's arms, I feel myself drift off to sleep.

The dream fades, to be replaced by an insistent ringing that I'm unable to place immediately as I crawl out of the dream. At last, I realise it's my mobile, and I get up to pick up the clothes I shed when I came to bed, so I can find it.

"Buffy? Are you ok?" Giles sounds worried.

"I'm fine, Giles. I was asleep, that's all."

"Good." Relief is evident in his voice. "I've got the ingredients for the spell. I was lucky and spoke to someone who was willing to be extremely helpful. I'm on my way back with them now. I'll be at the Magic Box in about .. half an hour. Can you meet us there?"

"I'll be there," I reply, immediately deciding that a quick shower is in order.

*-*-*

I waken to the same scene as before, but everything's different. My heart's hammering in my chest, and I'm feeling no pain. Well, I wasn't feeling any pain. Then I made the mistake of moving, and it all came back. Still, the memory of the dream .. it's a little taste of heaven.

Of course, it was only a dream. It couldn't be more.

I hear another voice in my head, disagreeing with me.

"Because it couldn't be true. I can't be Dawn's father."

"Because you're not worthy." The tone of voice is scathing.

"Well, yes, but not just that. It's not just that I don't deserve such a prize. It's Buffy, too. If she's pregnant, because I was so stupid as to not take precautions, when we're still not sure what sort of future we've got, if any, when it wasn't planned, it's hardly going to make her love me."

"Never having her go .."

"But she's so young, too young for that responsibility."

"Well, yes, but that's different."

"Because she was chosen. She was given the strength to do that job."

"But I'm not there."

The other voice is gone, and I realise my face is wet. The salty liquid is dripping onto a particularly large area of my chest that's been skinned. It looks like they systematically removed the skin from an area about four inches square, and that's only one of the injuries. I don't seem to be healing very quickly. Then again, I've got no concept of how long I've been here. It could be hours or days. Even weeks, if I've been out more than I realise. And, without feeding, even human food, I don't know how long it'll take to heal.

I must've been here for a while, though. The thought of feeding immediately makes me think of blood, of feeling living blood flowing down my throat. I haven't had that thought so strongly for a while. I force the thoughts away.

I'm still not sure if I believe what the dream showed me, but I can hope. If there's any chance it is true, they won't break me. Whatever their plans for me, I'll stay strong, for my girls.

As I muse, imagining seeing the baby in my dream growing into the young woman I know she'll become, I hear something. A sizzling sound. I turn around quickly and find I'm no longer alone. I jump to my feet in alarm, ready to defend myself in any way I can. I study the creature closely. Probably a demon, but I've never seen the type before.

He/she doesn't really look like much of a threat. We're talking maybe three foot six tall. Human proportions, except for a larger than expected head. The colour's orange-ish, the orange of a cheap fake tan. Body's more or less human, except I'd guess it's adult despite the height. I'm guessing male too, but, although it doesn't appear to be dressed, there's no obvious sign of gender. The colour brings something to mind. I knew a vampire once who wanted to look more human so he wouldn't stand out. Said the pale look stopped him from getting close to the best looking girls, and that's what he wanted to eat. He tried some of that fake tan stuff, and it turned him bright orange. Didn't work out too well for him. Took forever to fade too. Something about the undead not shedding skin like the human population.

I pull my mind back to the creature who's now sharing my .. confinement.

"Who are you?" I ask.

My companion just looks confused. And, scared. He looks scared of me. Now that I'm over the shock of his appearance, I realise I can feel the fear.

"Look," I try to reassure him. "I'm a prisoner here too. I've got no axe to grind with you. In fact, if there's anything you can tell me that'd help with the idea of getting out of here, we might even end up pals. What d'ya say?"

He's been looking at me, and I see the tension draining from his small body.

"My name is Jacob."

"Spike."

"And you mean me no harm?"

"Unless you're in cahoots with the plastic soldiers who put me here, why should I be?"

"Oh," is all that he replies.

I shrug, and sit back down. If I want him to tell me what he knows, he's going to have to relax, and he's not likely to do that while I'm looming over him.

"They said you'd kill me."

"Who?"

"The people who put me in here."

"Did they give a reason for that opinion?"

"Said you were evil and bloodthirsty and hadn't fed in too long. Said you'd kill me right away, maybe even do it quickly because you were so hungry."

"Well, I'm not planning on killing you, so will you sit down and relax?"

He does so quickly, with the air of someone who's obeying an order. I sigh deeply. Whatever's got him spooked, it'll take more than me sitting down to persuade him that I'm not after his blood.

Suddenly, there's that noise again, that sizzle, and a package seems to materialise above us, falling to the 'ground' roughly between us. I regard it suspiciously. There's a smell coming from the package, filling the air, and I can't resist it. I approach cautiously, crawling up the slight incline to where it lies. I open it carefully to find exactly what I thought. There's a package of blood, and by the looks of it, it's donated human stuff. There's also a variety of human type food, and some things I don't recognise. Nothing too interesting food-wise, more along the lines of the pre-packaged stuff used by the military, but no doubt nutritious enough.

Regardless, it's the blood that draws me. I remember the last time, when the Initiative had me, the blood was drugged. I'm tempted to leave it, then I remember my promise of a few moments ago. I've got to be strong, and, even if it's drugged, the blood will help with that. I make my decision, and start to drink. My companion watches me warily, but says nothing.

When the blood's gone, I pull out the human food. I lay it in front of me, then go on to the things I don't recognise. I show them to Jacob.

"Do you know what this is?" I ask.

"Nutrition for me, it would appear."

"And this food?" I ask, indicating the rest.

"Would do me no good at all."

I nod, and push what is apparently his part of this meal towards him. He seems surprised, but accepts the offering.

"It may be drugged," I warn. "I mean, I don't know. Blood I drank may have been too, but it's the only way I can stay strong enough to get out of here. It's up to you whether you eat it or not."

He seems to understand, and begins to investigate what's been supplied.

The blood has done its job, and I can feel it starting to work, but it's no longer enough. I open a pack of grey-brown solid stuff that looks distinctly unappetising. It doesn't smell of much either, but take a bite anyway. As I suspected, it's tasteless, but I finish what's been given to me. I'm not about to waste anything.

This time I see it. There's a flash, the sizzle, and something else appears. I finish my meal, then go to investigate. It seems to be a receptacle for .. waste. How thoughtful. So, at least they're not going to just leave me, no us, to wallow in our own excrement.

I'm just wondering whether the mechanism that's caused Jacob and the rest to appear is a one way thing, or if it's possible to leave the same way, when the container for the food disappears in much the same way that it appeared. So, it is possible to leave.

I can feel the blood doing its work already. It's painful, as skin re-grows where it was removed, and deeper incisions knit together from within, but it's only pain. I lie out again, because there's really nothing else I can do. I lie and wait for the healing to be completed, and send my thoughts to Buffy. If she is pregnant, then she needs me. I may be a pitiful excuse for a father, but it looks like I'm all Dawn, no, Zara's got. I smile. So like the Bit, telling us what she's to be called. We've got our work cut out with that one, that's for sure.

"And if I was responsible, even because I was forced?" A voice breaks into my thoughts.

"Responsible?" I don't understand what Jacob means. I look over towards him.

"Responsible for your being held .. here." He indicates the sphere around us.

"Forced? What did they force you to do?"

"Among other things, I am responsible for the nature of your incarceration. I was .. naïve. When I realised things were not as I had been told, I refused to help further. The result is that I am here with you."

He pauses for a second. "They told me that you would kill me, painfully, unless I was very lucky. You are not as they would have had me believe."

"Ravening animal? Delighting in the pain of others?"

"Something like that."

"It's what they seem to believe, even when the evidence should tell them otherwise."

I sit up again. "So," I say, scooting closer to Jacob in what I hope is a non-threatening manner. "Where are we, and how do we get out of here?"

"Well, the first question is simple enough to answer. We are in another universe. One which contains only what you can see. The second question is also easy to answer, but I don't think you'll like that answer. Because, there is simply no escape."

I arrive at the Magic Box to find Anya busy as usual. Jenna was already there, looking around the shelves with interest. Anya seemed not to approve of her presence, on the grounds, I assume, that she wasn't there to spend money. I'm trying to remember how much Jenna knows about Anya's past, and I come to the conclusion it's not a lot. I've never actually had any cause to discuss the ex-vengeance demon, ex-human, vengeance demon. I'm really not sure how she'd take it. Of course, I don't know how much Willow told her while she was in England, but I can't see that it would have been relevant to their discussions either.

"This woman says she's waiting for you," Anya announces in her inimitable style.

"That's right, I asked her to meet me here. This is Jenna, and I've invited Xander and Buffy too."

"I'll have you remember that another time you used my place of business as a meeting place for friends of the Slayer. It was destroyed."

"I know, Anya. I'm the one who had to fill out all the insurance forms."

She's not even slightly mollified by that, and with a wordless expression of disgust, goes back to counting the money.

The bell rings, and it's Xander, with Buffy on his heels. Xander heads straight for Anya, while Buffy joins Jenna and I at the table. Xander seems to be trying to pacify Anya, while not actually admitting that any of the rest of us have any right to be here. I know I left all the running of the store to Anya, but I do still own it, and if it was anyone but Anya professing her opinions, I'd probably be rather annoyed.

"So, Buffy, how are you?" I ask. She's looking worried.

"I'm fine, Giles, but I'll be better when we find Spike. So, we've got what we need for the spell?" Her manner is business-like, and I know she's trying hard to mask her true feelings.

I pull a packet from my inside pocket and leave it on the table in front of Jenna. She opens it, and goes through some sort of mental inventory.

"Anya," I call. "Jenna will need some other ingredients from around the shop. I'd appreciate it if you'd show her where they are. I'll pay for anything we take before we leave," I add, seeing the look on her face.

Now that she's a paying customer, Jenna gets Anya's complete attention. When the various ingredients are assembled on the table, Anya pointedly goes to the till and starts to add up the total.

While this was going on, Xander joined Buffy and I at the table, and I can tell he's concerned too. He knows that Spike's missing, as I filled him in on that, but he knows nothing about the DNA evidence, or Buffy's suspicion that she's already pregnant. I felt it important that Buffy choose when and how to pass on that information.

"I've got to do some preparations," Jenna tells us. "I'll be, perhaps, ten minutes. It would probably be better to work on a floor somewhere. Where would you suggest?"

"The training room?" I offer, looking at Buffy. She nods, and I get up to take Jenna into the next room before returning to the others. Although Anya's not sitting with us, I know she's picking up every word.

As I come out, I look at Buffy, trying to read what's on her mind.

"It's ok, Giles, I'm going to tell him." Buffy seems to have understood my thoughts.

"Tell me what?" Xander has that look of innocent curiosity that he's perfected over the years. It makes him look much more like sixteen-year-old Xander than the man he's become.

"That I'm pregnant. I'm expecting Spike's daughter, and I think , no, I know it's Dawn."

There's an initial stunned silence before Anya comes bustling over and gives Buffy a huge hug.

"Oh, that's wonderful. It's such happy news."

Anya continues to talk, but I'm no longer listening. I don't think Buffy is, either, judging by the way she's looking at Xander waiting for him to react.

"That's pretty big news there, Buff. Could you let the rest of us in on how you work all that out?"

"Well, the being pregnant thing comes from having done a test. The knowing it's Spike's, well, that's easy. I'm sure you can work that out. Unless, of course, you think I've been sleeping with a variety of demons. And the bit about it being Dawn? Well, that's because the DNA tests we had done before Dawn left, showed she was Spike's daughter. And mine. The fact that it's Dawn I'm carrying now comes from partly intuition, and partly a dream."

"You've done the test?" I ask.

Buffy nods, not taking her eyes off Xander's face as he digests the information. She's expecting animosity, and that's why she spoke the way she did, but I'm not so sure she's going to get that reaction.

"And there's been a dream?" I ask.

"Yeah." She drags her gaze away from Xander to look at me. "When you called, I'd been asleep. I dreamed that she was in my arms, and that she and Spike and I were together. She was a new-born baby, but I heard her voice in my head. She even told me she should be called Zara Renee. Apparently, that means Glorious Dawn, Reborn or something like that."

"So, Dawn was Spike's daughter?" Xander manages. It's taken a while, but he seems to have caught up at last.

"Yes, Xander," I confirm. "The DNA results were quite clear. She shared about half of her DNA with both Buffy and Spike, and the only logical conclusion is that she was their child."

"So," Xander looks at Buffy. "How do you feel about this?"

He's treading carefully, trying hard not to say anything wrong, but Buffy's wound tight, expecting his disapproval.

"How do I feel? Well, I'm going to get her back in a few months. She's my daughter, and the daughter of the man I love, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. How do you think I feel?"

"I don't know, Buffy. I mean, it must be a shock. And with Spike .. "

He stops short as tears appear in Buffy's eyes.

"I'm sorry," he says, as he jumps up to put a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you.

Jenna comes in a moment later to tell us that she's ready. As soon as she hears this, Buffy's tears are dried roughly from her face, and she's all business again. I'm disappointed that I didn't get the chance to tell Xander about the Riley situation, but there'll be time later, and I can't see Buffy being willing to brook any delay.

We make our way into the training room, and sit as Jenna indicates.

"The first spell is the more powerful version of the basic one we did before. It should see through fairly high levels of shielding. If that doesn't work, I'll do the second spell, which is designed to trace his movements from his last known location." The explanation is crisp and professional.

She lights five candles and places them around the circle we make, with a series of maps in the centre. She begins the incantation, sprinkling powder from a mixture she's made, over the map. There's no reaction. She changes the map to one covering a wider area and repeats the spell. Still no reaction. One after another, she changes the map, ending with one of the world, but there's nothing.

With the first spell complete, Jenna gets up to gather the things for the second spell. She removes one of the candles, redistributing the others evenly. I can see Buffy and she's pale, and the disappointment on her face is evident. Jenna returns quickly with another mixture, and some thread. This time, she places the thread in a coil on a map of Sunnydale and it's environs. One end she places at the location of the High School - the last place we know Spike was.

The incantation begins, and the powder is burned over each of four candles, representing, I assume, the four points of the compass. Slowly, the thread uncoils, unwinding and marking a route along the streets marked on the map. It's fascinating to watch as the fibre makes right-angled turns at intersections, leaving the town and heading, as expected, towards UCS. Once there, I assume specifically at the base Riley described, it pauses, then moves again, this time heading out of Sunnydale. The thread continues to move until it reaches the highway, heading roughly north. It leaves the highway, and moves coast-wards, the roads becoming less important, until it pauses. Apparently in the middle of nowhere, the thread's progress halts, and we wait for it to move again, but we're disappointed.

I feel the magic dissipating around us as the spell is ended. Buffy's looking closely at the map, and I'm doing likewise, trying to make sure I know exactly where I'm heading, because I know nothing less than an immediate departure will satisfy her.

"Right," the Slayer begins, standing and taking charge. "I'm heading there. Who's with me?"

Xander and I both answer in the affirmative, and Jenna nods her assent too. Anya, seeing that she's going to be alone otherwise, agrees to come too. We quickly arm ourselves as well as we can, but if there's a base of some sort out there, we can't hope to achieve much tonight beyond information.

As we head out to the cars, I put my hand on Buffy's shoulder. "If he's guarded, we might have to come back and work on some sort of plan," I warn.

She's about to argue, but her hand goes to her stomach, and I know she's trying to think this through rationally rather than emotionally. She nods, but I can see she finds the notion of coming home without Spike painful.

Buffy climbs into the back of my car, leaving the passenger seat for Jenna, while Anya chooses to travel with Xander. The drive is conducted in silence which gives me ample time to consider the way in which Buffy's life has changed recently, and is continuing to change.

A short while ago, the suggestion that she'd consider having any sort of relationship with Spike which didn't include stakes and dustiness would have seemed ludicrous. I thought, particularly after the Angel debacle, that she'd be loath to look at another vampire. Yet, the news that she'd been sleeping with him last year didn't come as that huge a shock. I don't know why that was. We laughed about it. We actually laughed when she told me. I know that was partly the tension of the accompanying events, but it just didn't seem so important. Of course then, she was also telling me it was over, in the past. But that was before we knew that Buffy's not entirely human, and before Spike got a soul.

I'm still amazed that he would do such a thing. I think we all realised he was apt to do some very strange things in the name of love, hence his behaviour as regards Drusilla, but to get a soul? It's such a huge undertaking. And it's not as if he didn't understand the consequences. He'd seen Angel, saw how the soul tormented him. He knew, and he understood fully what he was doing.

If there's one thing I'm certain of, it is that he'd die for Buffy. Or Dawn. What's worrying me now is the notion that Buffy would do likewise. Well, we already know that she was willing to die for Dawn. I suspect that the fact that Buffy is now carrying Dawn, or should that be Zara? is what's going to keep her from doing something foolish. Of course, the hormonal changes involved in being pregnant might alter her perception too. It's all too much for my simple bachelor brain to work out.

As far as I know, there is no part of me that's remotely demon. Apart from the time that Ethan Rayne caused me to find out what it's like to be a Fyarl demon, of course. Despite my purely human sensibilities, I can feel Buffy's anxiety. It's like a fourth presence in the car. I know how she was at the height of her feelings for Angel, and it was nothing like this.

Jenna breaks into my thoughts with "I've spoken to my sisters at the Coven."

"Yes?" I reply.

"Yes. I wanted to discuss the situation regarding Mr. Finn. I had no ideas on how to free him from this energy that's taken over his will, and I wanted them to consider the problem too."

"And did they come up with anything?"

"Not so far, I'm afraid. The records of the Coven go back a long way, and they've promised to have our archivists look through everything they think might be relevant. I think it's safe to say that if anything of this type has been done before, there will be a record somewhere in our library."

"Good." I reply, as I pull off the highway at the point indicated by the thread.

The memory that Riley's responsible to some extent for Dawn's early departure means that I'm not actually too concerned about freeing him from the energy. What surprised me was Buffy's concern for him. The fear she could sense must have been exceptional in some way for her to put aside her perfectly understandable animosity towards him. I wonder again if he has been treated in some way to make him irrationally afraid of becoming a demon. If so, he is perhaps more to be pitied than disliked. Then again, if, as I suspect, Spike's in a highly defended base of some sort, Riley might be our best bet for getting him out. Of course, I don't know how far we'll be able to trust him. Whatever we do, I think we need to retain the ability to re-infect him with the energy. I can think of nothing else as likely to retain his loyalty as that.

I check the map which Jenna is holding for me when the roads became unfamiliar. If my memory serves, I take a right at the next intersection. The map confirms my belief, and I'm a little surprised when I see the road. If I hadn't known from the map that it was there, I'd have driven past without seeing it. It's hardly a road, although it is surprisingly even. The point where the thread trail stopped is about three hundred yards along this road.

I drive slowly, and I know that all of us are scanning the surroundings carefully as we progress. There is nothing. The road peters out into woodland, and there is nothing. I know we've gone far enough, too far even, but there is no installation around here. Even underground, I'm sure there's nothing. There are no buildings of any kind. Not even a shed or derelict mine that I can see. Of course, I can come back in daylight and confirm that, but I'm pretty sure now.

Buffy's trying to persuade me that we should continue, that there must be something in the woods ahead, and I know we're not going to get away without looking. I agree to Buffy's request that we continue for a short time on foot. I go to tell Xander and Anya what I've agreed, but Anya's shaking her head.

"What is it?" I ask.

"There's no one within five miles of us right now."

"How can you be sure?" Buffy asks.

"Vengeance demon? There's not a human adult on this planet, and very few children, who are completely without thoughts of vengeance. Most of them are so mild and fleeting that you don't even know they're there, but I can feel them. I feel them all the time. Of course, I only act on the most significant ones, but I can feel all the rest. Spike's a perfect example, and he's not even human. He's got all sorts of things that go through his head. Most of them are directed at Angel, of course. So I know Spike's not here."

"He could be unconscious," Buffy offers.

"He could be, but he'd be bound to have some sort of guard, and there's no one here."

Buffy deflates at the news, but agrees reluctantly to give up for now. We pile back into the cars, and head back towards Sunnydale. The main questions in my mind are why they would have brought Spike out to this remote spot in the first place? And, of course, where is he now?

I wish Buffy was sitting in the front now, so I could better gauge how she's coping, but I don't suppose it makes much difference. She's obviously deeply disappointed, and there's nothing I can offer to make that better. I just hope we can come up with some way to enable Riley to help us, because at the moment, I simply don't see any other options.

Chapter 14 - A Long Story

"It's a long story," Jacob warns me.

"I'm not going anywhere," I remind him, trying to get comfortable without looking threatening. He's not as scared as he was, but he's a long way from feeling safe.

"Well, the question is, where to begin?"

"I always found the beginning a good place," I reply, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

"Yes, you're probably right."

He takes a deep breath, then starts. "Well, now, the beginning of this story was a long time ago, before this world was inhabited by the people who are here now. At that time, people, I suppose you'd say demons, like me, used this world. It wasn't our home or anything, but we visited. We had long been able to travel between worlds, and we used those without, well, intelligent life, for our own purposes. Of course, we didn't do anything to harm them. Our society was based even then on principles which required that we do no harm. Inevitably, while most were happy to live within these restraints, one of our number was not. He was called, well, I don't know what he was called originally, but he called himself Blar. In our tongue, that means pain, agony, torment, or some combination of those ideas."

"I'm guessing he wasn't a friendly chap," I comment, wondering what this has to do with the present.

He gives me a look which shows clearly that he doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm.

"So, what did Blar get up to?" I ask, and I know I sound impatient.

"Well, he wanted this world for himself. If he lived now, he could simply make a new world, but that's something we've only been able to do more recently. He wanted to destroy everything here, and make it up to some design of his own. He generated an energy, and it was designed to do just that. He had already set it to work when his plan was discovered, and stopped. Well, when I say stopped, it was more, paused. The energy couldn't be destroyed just like that. All we could do was contain it. A number of vessels were used, but none lasted for long. Eventually, we found a way to contain the energy for sufficient time, and that was done. At the same time, work to find a means to permanently neutralise the energy began. We started to generate an equal but opposite energy to do that task, but it was going to take aeons to achieve."

This is all sounding remarkably familiar to me, but I'm not about to let him know that.

"If this Blar could just make the energy in the first place, why did it take the rest of you so long to make this neutralising energy?"

"Well, yes. Now, you see, that's why he took on the name Blar. He used the suffering of the creatures of this, and other worlds to create the energy. He destroyed life, even intelligent life, on many worlds, killing the creatures in the most horrific ways, to generate the energy. The more the suffering before death, the greater the energy generated. We, of course, couldn't do that. We've had to use the background levels of emotion, in our case, both positive and negative emotion, to produce the energy. Add to that the fact that we had to hide the receptacle, so that it wasn't close to anything living, and you can begin to see why it would take so long."

"Ok, so, what happened?"

"Well, now, we buried the two receptacles. One, we named the Orb of Fire because of it's appearance. It was the essence of pure evil, and it had an intelligence of its own. That was buried where we believed it couldn't be found. The other, which was to gather the positive energy, we named the Key. It was buried elsewhere, although close enough to ensure only a small amount of damage would be caused before neutralisation."

He's looking at me, as if expecting that I wouldn't believe him. "So, what has all this got to do with you and me and where we are now?"

"To understand that, I'll have to tell you a little about me. I'm a scholar, of sorts. Very junior, of course. I'm fascinated by ancient history, and have studied the whole Blar incident in minute detail. It was obvious from some ancient notes I uncovered, that the time for the neutralisation was close. I suppose it was foolish, but I wanted to see it for myself, to be a part of history. So, I hid the notes I found, and obtained, in a less than approved manner, one of the devices we use to travel between worlds. I came here to see the final end of the Blar episode, and to record it for history."

"That explains why you're here, but not anything else."

"Yes. You see, when I got here, I found things very different from the projections made at the time. This world was expected to remain at a low level of advancement. It was never checked, due, I believe, to the acute embarrassment felt by our kind that one of us could be as Blar was. Instead of the rather basic emergence of intelligence that was expected, I found a society which, although primitive compared with my own world, was really quite advanced. That made what I was trying to do much harder, since I had hoped to remain hidden from the inhabitants of this world."

"Ok, so how did you get involved with the Initiative?"

"You use that word strangely. Initiative?"

"The uniformed gits that put us here?"

"Oh, I see, you use it to indicate an organisation. That's not the name they used with me. They called themselves the Defenders of Humanity."

"Different name, same ideas, I suspect."

"Perhaps. So, in order to avoid being seen by the people of this world, I generated another universe - not this one, the one I generated was quite a bit .. bigger. The device that brought me here could do that, of course, as well as transfer me between worlds with little effort. Whenever I was in danger of being seen, I simply left."

"Something tells me you slipped up."

"Well, no, not exactly. I was hiding, in a more mundane way, watching while a human fought against one of the aggressive demons which seem to congregate in this area. He was losing, so I decided to save him. I managed to grab him and take both of us to my manufactured universe. While we were waiting for it to be safe to return, he told me about the situation on your world. Or, at least, he told me how he saw it. I've since discovered that the Defence of Humanity has aims other than those he shared with me."

"Let me guess. He told you the people of this world were in daily danger from demons, and their only purpose was to ensure the safety of humanity."

"Well, yes. So, naively, I thought I could help. It seemed, well, rather romantic, helping an inferior race. Exciting. So, he took me to his superiors, and I did what I could. The first thing I did was to allow them to use the universe I created. I retained the main device I had brought, but I was able to make some smaller, restricted-use units which I gave to them. They said they needed a base which couldn't be over-run by demons. They didn't restrict me in any way, and I thought I was doing the right thing."

"I set about the task of finding the Orb and the Key. I found the Orb easily. It was where records showed it should be, and I was able to sense its presence. The Key was a different matter. The way I can sense these things is rather like sight. You can see something, but only if you're looking in the right direction, and there's nothing in the way. The Key wasn't where it should have been, and I only found it by chance. It seems that, at some time in the past, the energy was taken from its receptacle, and placed in a human. Very tricky thing to do, well beyond the expected ability of your race. So, once I knew the whereabouts of the two energies, I prepared to wait for the inevitable. Of course, since the Key was a human, it moved around a lot, but its movements were predictable. Then, I lost the Orb. It disappeared from where it had been, and I turned my attentions to finding it. While I was doing that, I started to notice things that were going on in their base. It seemed that demons were being brought into my universe and kept there for reasons I couldn't understand. I was distracted from looking into that by tracking down the Orb of Fire. Of course, I hadn't mentioned it to the humans, but it turned out that they had unearthed it, and were trying to understand its nature."

"I only discovered its new location moments before it disintegrated. The very people I had helped, had destroyed the Orb and allowed the neutralisation to take place before balance was achieved. I felt the changes caused by the partial neutralisation of the evil, and I knew they were responsible."

"After that, I started watching the DoH people closely. That's when I made this universe. It's actually within my first manufactured universe, and it was to be a hiding place while I snooped around the base they had developed out there. It was while I was doing that, that I found out what they were doing to you. Unfortunately, they caught me. You see, the access I gave them was to the first universe I made. The problem was, that as this universe is completely within that one, they have access here too. They were able to come here, and took me back to their base."

"As a result, they took the master device, and tried to make me give them command of it. It soon became obvious that I had been duped. They had allowed me to believe that I was a valuable ally only for so long as I could be of use to them. They always intended to kill me, but only wanted complete mastery of my device. They had hoped to make me trust them enough to give them full access. It's keyed to me, of course, so no one but I can operate it. The remotes I provided for them are very simple units, programmed to do only what I wished them to do. I refused to show them how to use the main unit. They tried to use pain to persuade me, but gave up after a while. I'm not very brave, but I have got some simple defences. I can block pain in a limited way, but my tolerance is finite. I can't allow them access to other worlds without restraint. Sooner or later, though, I fear they'll succeed. We, my people, are peace loving. We haven't had any aggressive tendencies for so long, and our methods for blocking out pain are rather basic. I think they hoped that threatening to put me in here with you was going to make me change my mind."

"So, we're in a universe within a universe which is part of the one I'm used to?"

"More or less, yes. They've been taking samples from you, did you know that?"

"I'd guessed as much."

"Do you know why?"

I shake my head.

"I believe they want to clone you. They plan to obtain an army of creatures like you. They claim you appear human, and could pass for human under all but the strictest scrutiny, but that you possess a number of advantages which would make you very useful as a soldier. They plan to clone an army of creatures like you, but to ensure, either by training from childhood, or by some sort of control, that they are all completely loyal to their creators. Even now, they're trying to find a species of demon which can carry cloned embryos to term."

An army of me. It's an uncomfortable thought. They obviously don't have any plans to control me directly, just to use me as a source of the DNA. It's a depressing prospect.

"Let me guess. We could get out of here if we had one of the remotes, or better still, the main device?"

"Yes, of course. But, I don't believe they're planning on allowing us anywhere near either."

We're both silent for some time. Jacob eventually breaks the silence.

"You don't seem surprised at what I've told you."

It's the moment of truth. Do I tell him my half of the story? Throughout the time he was talking, I've been monitoring the signals he's been giving out. He's either extremely adept at controlling those signals, or he's been truthful.

"Tell me, is there any way someone outside could know what's going on in here?" I ask.

"No, there isn't. Even if they'd put some sort of transmitter in here, the signal can't leave."

"Good. Them, I'll tell you what I know. I knew about the Orb and the Key."

He looks aghast at me, as I explain my own involvement with them.

When I finish, he looks closely at me. Jacob's face changes, his expression becoming almost, reverent.

"W..were you present when, when the energy from the Orb was neutralised by the Key?"

I nod. It's a painful memory, even now, even knowing that she's coming back. In some ways, it's even more painful than it was because of what I know now.

"You are honoured indeed. To have witnessed that .. It's what I came for."

He shakes his head in an attempt, I assume, to get back to the matter in hand.

"So, you know about the Key. How did it become human?"

"As far as we've been able to work out, a group of Monks did it. They were trying to hide the Key from a Hellgod called Glory. The most recent information we have is that they took someone out of the future, and put the energy into her body. That someone was given to the Slayer, Buffy, as a sister, and she and I were given the job of keeping her safe."

"Do you know who she was? In her own time?"

"We knew she must be a blood relation of Buffy's. We didn't know anything else."

I pause. The dream was so wonderful, so personal, that I'm loath to share it.

"Is it possible that this human is the offspring of the Slayer?"

"It's possible," I admit, wondering how much he's guessed.

"And you see it as your job to keep this Slayer safe too?"

I nod. Never was too good at hiding my feelings.

"You love her."

He doesn't expect an answer, because it wasn't a question. I don't know if he's thinking along the lines of my dream, but I'm still not willing to share that.

"So, with you out of the picture, this child, whoever she is, has less chance of being born and growing to become the Key. I assume you still see it as your job to protect her?"

"Promised I would, till the end of the world."

It's been niggling at the back of my mind as I listened to Jacob, but now it pushes forwards, and I decide to mention it.

"Doesn't it seem to be a bit of a coincidence?"

"What?"

"Well, these soldier boys were responsible for destroying the Orb. And, they've got me here where I can't keep Dawn safe. What happened to Blar? I mean, he's no doubt long dead, but did he have followers? Could someone be pulling strings?"

I'm not an expert at recognising facial expressions in various demons, but one glance at Jacob's face, and I know he's initially disbelieving, then giving the idea serious consideration.

"There were rumours," he admits. "Rumours that Blar had followers. Blar himself died, and the followers were never found, and it was generally assumed to have been a false lead. Of course, over the centuries, myths have sprung up. You know the kind of thing - stories to scare the gullible. One of those stories involves exactly that - followers of Blar."

His expression changes again. The look now is undeniably one of fear, and it's matched by the feelings he's pushing my way. The prospect that this organisation exists frightens him even more than I did. And that's worrying.