The bartender refilled the shot glasses on the bar. It was a good night. His bar was filled with lots of patrons. Of course, they were all demons and liked to drink and fight, but it seemed tonight, all they wanted to drink. There were about five or six groups of different demons in the bar tonight, talking up a storm. There were also a couple demons that have had to much to drink and have passed out. “Then this little girl said, 'you never heard of a slayer? Well now you have’ then poof, all five dust.” The passed out vampire at the end of the bar, seem to waken and become very interested in the conversation. “Man, she was young, can’t believe they still are recruiting them so young. And alone. I thought they had them working with a team.” The ugly green demon was telling his friends.
“Mate, where were you that you met a slayer?” The previously passed out vampire at the end of the bar asked.
“Cali, some stupid little town with the Hellmouth, something dale, or something like that. She was a young one with a mouth! I can’t wait to go back and put something in it, if you know what I mean,” the green demon snickered as he elbowed his companions.
“Did I ‘ear you say she’s young? ‘ow young? Twenty six? Twenty seven? Blond bint?”
“No, I mean YOUNG, like 17 or 18 and she was far from blond, she’s a red head, looked natural. And man, she was a fighter, that one. But that town was messed up. I’ve never been to a Hellmouth, but they are seriously fucked up. Fifteen cemeteries. Good playground for someone to get down to business.” The demon was not interested in keeping topic that the vampire wanted.
Ignoring the ramblings of the green demon, the vampire pressed on. This could not be, a new slayer? Eighteen? He thought that they called them when they were 15 or 16. “No, the slayer is about 26, blond, ‘azel eyes, little thing. ‘as lots of annoying friends that got patrollin’.” The vampire started to use his hands as visuals.
“No, I am telling you, this girl was not blond, and she wasn’t a day over 18. I heard they called her when the last slayer was killed a couple years ago. I am still hearing stories of that one.” The demon chuckled with some of his memories. “And no one was working with her. I stuck around a couple days and the only person she had contact with was the ole’ watcher in that town.” The vampire stood up quickly and walked up behind the demon and lifted him off his stool. The vampire threw him across the room into a brick wall and strode purposefully up to him and lifted him off the ground.
“What did you just say?” The vampire almost whispered.
“The s-slayer w-wasn’t b-blond?” The demon sputtered.
“No, about the other thing about the last slayer?” He roared while he shook the demon and banged his head against the wall. The vampire hadn’t acted like that in years. He usually spent his time passed out in some bar.
“S-some demon gang attacked her and killed her a couple years back, maybe four or more. I heard she was a good looking gi..” At that, the demon’s head was snapped in two and his head rolled to the floor. The vampire just stood there in thought. No, it couldn’t be. SHE couldn’t be dead. He would have felt it, wouldn’t have he? A couple years ago? He was supposed to protect her, he promised her, told her he saved her every night after that one he couldn’t. He didn’t save her. No, he told her he loved her, tried to rape her, and then left her. Just like the others. He was the wanker, not the others. He was supposed to be there, protect her. Protect the ‘Bit. Oh, No. What was she doing, did she survive? How could she? ‘Bit probably wasn’t out of high school yet when it happened. If big sis barely kept them together, what did ‘Bit do when she was gone? He promised to look after her and save her. He failed miserably. Just another thing to add to the list.
The bartender came up behind the vampire and said, “Buddy, you are not good for business, leave now or be dust.” The vampire looked up at the bartender. The slayer was dead. No, HIS slayer was dead, isn’t that what the green git said. The new slayer worked alone, save the watcher. It had to be Giles. He had to get some answers. Spike snapped out of his thoughts and decided to go peacefully.
“Sorry, mate, just got a little over enthused. Gotta go see a guy about a girl.” He strode out of the bar and hopped on his bike.
~*~*~*~
“Thanks for picking me up, guys, I brought back LOTS of stuff,” Dawn exclaimed in the car packed with herself, luggage, Xander, Anya, Willow, and Giles.
“No problem, Dawnie, glad we fit everyone and everything in here. Seems you brought back half the islands with you,” Willow said looking around in the car. Xander was driving; sitting next to him was a large box and Anya clutching at a piece of Dawn’s luggage. In the back seat was Giles, Dawn, and Willow all holding some sort of piece of luggage or box containing souvenirs from Dawn’s trip.
“H-how was the airplane, did you get ill again?” Giles asked trying to balance the very awkward box that seems to hold a bunch of marble like objects that kept rolling around, shifting its weight.
“Oh geeze, thanks for the mention….. Noooooo, I did not get sick this time around. I think with all the activities on the islands, I got over that ‘tummy turning flips just because you are in the air.’ After that one boat ride drying the second week, I doubt I will get sick again.”
“Did you join the ‘Mile High Club?’ Xander and I joined it on our way to our Honeymoon, it was very nice intercourse,” Anya chimed in. After the debacle of their previous try at matrimony, Anya and Xander finally worked out all their issues and got hitched in an impromptu wedding at the local city hall.
“Uggg, NO!” Dawn exclaimed and wrinkled her nose. “Gross much? I think they frown down upon that.”
“Did you meet any hot guys?” Willow asked excitedly.
Dawn looked down and blushed, “Ummm, yeah I met a couple guys, but there wasn’t much time to date or anything.” Willow instantly felt bad when she saw the young woman’s embarrassment.
“Hey look, we’re here,” Xander spoke up as they neared the old house on Revello Drive, “Home, sweet, home.” Xander parked in the back and the group started to unload from the packed car. After the last of Dawn’s luggage and boxes were unloaded and in the house, the group decided to have a barbeque as a ‘Welcome Home’ celebration. Xander and Giles started the grill and Anya, Willow, and Dawn started to prepare the food. Once outside with the hotdogs, hotdog fixings, and potato chips, the group sat around the picnic table and started to tell Dawn about what has been going on in Sunnydale.
“Well, no apocalypses, but Traci did have a couple ‘big bads’ and ‘big bad wannabes’ to put down,” Xander stated.
Traci has been the slayer for the past 4 years. She was called right after Faith escaped prison and ran into a demon gang in Los Angles. At first, it was hard to get used to the idea of having two active slayers in Sunnydale. Buffy and Giles worked day and night training the new slayer for over a year. Each night Buffy would make Traci workout in the training room behind the Magic Box and then go out patrolling, getting hands on experience. Each day, Giles trained Traci in how to read prophecies and research different demon groups. Slowly, Buffy stepped away and eventually stopped being an active participant during training. Giles noticed that Buffy sent Traci out on patrols all by herself for nights on end. He finally realized what Buffy was doing, fazing herself out so she could have a normal life.
“Um, Buffy…. I have noticed you have not p-p-patrolled in over a week,” Giles said as he took off his glasses and begun to clean them, “Is there something that is going on that you want to discuss?”
Buffy looked up from the table and the magazine she had been reading. “Oh, um, well,” she stuttered as she looked into her surrogate father’s eyes and realizing it was time to come clean, “Ummm, Giles, actually there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” She went back to her magazine and flipped it shut to show Giles the front cover.
“A travel magazine?”
“Yeah, I was thinking that it seems that Traci is handling the Hellmouth stuff. And Dawn seems to be doing OK with school. I was thinking,” she looks down at her hands fiddling in her lap, “that I might do some traveling. I’ll stay in touch and all, I just need to leave Sunnydale for a while. Maybe grow up a little by seeing the world.”
Giles put his glasses back on and just stared at her. Of course she deserves to travel, she has been been a slayer for almost 9 years. She has put her life on hold for others not only because she is a slayer but also as a friend, daughter, and sister. “ Well, then, that sounds like a marvelous idea. You should go out and see the world. Maybe you and Dawn should go and visit your dad, where is he now? Las Vegas? You could visit the Hoover Dam and such.”
Buffy looked away and said “Um, yeah, Dawn and me can go see *him*, I bet that *would* be a wonderful visit.” She looked back and up at her watcher, trying to make him understand what she was feeling, “Actually I was thinking more like traveling by myself. Dawn is in college and all. Wants to spend all her breaks with her friends and all. Giles, I just need to move on, I am sorry. I feel the need to go… alone.”
Giles nodded, understanding the need to forget all the horrors she has endured over the past years. Loosing family, friends, and her loves. Preventing many apocalypses. Losing her life more than once, only to be brought back to fight more. Almost losing her self in the process of it all. “I think you would enjoy that. H-have you told anyone else what you are thinking?”
“Dawn knows, actually she talked me into traveling. Since Traci has been more than capable of taking over the slayer duties, it frees me up to do some soul searching. I haven’t mentioned it to Willow or Xander. They have their lives to live and they do not need to worry about me. But, I know I need to tell them that I am leaving for a bit.”
~*~*~*~
“What do you mean that you are leaving?” Willow exclaimed loudly.
“Not for good, Wills, just going to do some traveling.” Buffy tried to calm her friend down, “You know that I am not needed here like I used to be. I haven’t seen the world, heck, I have never been out of California.”
“B-but, what about us? We need you,” Willow looked hurt.
“I need you, too, more than I can say. But let’s face it. You have a terrific career as a teacher, your love life is on track. Xander and Anya are about to start a family. We haven’t done the Scooby thing in months. Traci has been able to take care of the Hellmouth. I think it is time for me to go and find myself. Since I was 15, it’s all been slay this and slay that, sacred duty blah, blah, blah,” Buffy got up and walked over to Willow to hug her as she tried to explain.
“I-I know…. but I can miss you, right?” Willow looked at Buffy with tears in her eyes, not ready to let her friend go out into the world alone.
“You better, Wills. I am not leaving for good, in fact, I was hoping you, Xan and Anya, Giles, and Dawn would come meet me someplace interesting. Maybe Niagara Falls or Mount Rushmore. Ohhh, maybe Washington, DC?”
“Oh, that sounds great! You will stay in touch, wont you?” Willow looked away, afraid of the answer.
“Now stop that Wills, of course I will stay in touch.” Buffy gentle hugged her best friend.
“Good, because you can’t go unless you stay in touch.”
Xander took the news of Buffy leaving a little better than Willow. He understood the need to move on. He had to move on from under his parent’s house. Now look at him, he is a successful Construction Manager, married to the love of his life that is carrying his first born, and they are ecstatically happy.
Buffy bought a new car to travel cross country, and gave the SUV she inherited from her mom to Dawn. For the next couple weeks her friends and Buffy sat down and studied maps of the United States and travel brochures so Buffy knew exactly which places she wanted to visit and others she wanted to avoid. She packed up her clothes and personal items, packed the car, said good bye to her friends and family, and headed out of Sunnydale.
At first it was hard for everyone due to the separation, but slowly, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Giles moved on. Each having their own life to lead. Dawn still lived in the house at Revello Drive, but her life was moving on also. Her college friends moved from the dorms into the house, just like Willow and her girlfriend, Tara, had a long time ago. She missed her sister, but knowing that Buffy finally was able to do something that she never was allowed to do, gave Dawn so much pleasure.
Buffy criss crossed the nation,
traveling from one interesting town to another. In the first couple months, she
visited New Mexico, Texas, Arizona, and Colorado. When Anya had the baby, she
flew back to California to visit for a week. Everyone was different.
Everything was different. Traci was holding her own with or without the
Scoobies. The old house was filled with Dawn and her friends. Willow had a
successful career as a teacher, and Xander now had a daughter. This made Buffy
realizes that her home was no longer in Sunnydale, her family was, but not her
home. She continued to travel the United States until she reached Maine. Her
favorite state was New York. Everything exciting was wrapped up in one small
(umm… BIG) package. She came back to Sunnydale to visit, not staying more than
a week at a time.
The last time she came and visited, only a year and a half after she left to travel, she gathered her family together to let them know what she was going to do. “What do you mean you are going to settle in New York?” Dawn asked quietly.
“You told us it wasn’t going away forever, that you were coming back,” Willow said at the same time.
“I know what I said then, I did come back, and if memory serves me correct once every three months,” Buffy pleaded.
“Yeah, but you stayed in a hotel, not here,” Dawn looked like she was about to cry.
“Dawn, this isn’t my house anymore, it is yours. You don’t need your old sis to cramp your or your friends’ style.”
“Oh, that is such a load of CRAP,” Dawn screamed. “You first go away on a ‘vacation’ then when we all seem to be OK, you decide to make it a permanent vacation, that is sooooo like you.”
Buffy looked over at her sister with pained eyes. “I am sorry you think that. I definitely never thought that I would want to live some place else, but this past year and a half, I have actually grown up, taken care of my self, and so have you all. I will always love you, need you but this isn’t my home anymore. Imagine me coming back here permanently… I don’t think any of us would be happy.” Everyone averted their eyes, knowing what Buffy was saying was true. Buffy started to pace in front of everyone. “Look, I am not asking for permission, in fact, it is a done deal. The journal I have been working freelance for is stationed in New York and has offered me a full time position with full time pay. I HAVE moved there. I guess what I am asking is: are you going to come visit me and visa versa, or are you going to shut me out?” Buffy looked around at her friends, hoping one of them would say something quick before she lost her nerve and walked away.
Giles was the first to say something, “Well, you seem to have grown up, quite a bit,” he put his arm around his surrogate daughter and hugged her. “I would be honored to be a houseguest after you are settled. You could even show me those Falls I hear so much about.”
Buffy looked up with admiration and hugged him back. “I know I can always count on you,” she whispered, “and you can always count on me.”
Anya was the second to chime in, “Well, since you are offering free room and board, I think we will take you up on it too. Feeding a 13 month old is too expensive. I’d rather you foot the bill.” Xander looked up at his wife, smiling at her subtle way of showing her support. “Anything to lower the bills, right, dear?” he hugged Anya.
Everyone looked over at Willow who had tears running down her cheeks. Buffy walked over and kneeled in front of her friend. “Wills, please, tell me you will come visit?”
Willow looked up and tried to wipe away the tears, “Oh, Buffy why does it hurt so much?” Willow wrapped her arms around her friend and hugged fiercely. “Of course I will visit in fact, I want to be the first visitor,” Willow said proudly.
Buffy chuckled and nodded in agreement. She was so happy that her family has accepted the change in plans. She couldn’t wait until they came and visited her, part of her secretly wished they would come in fall when the leaves change color. She stood up and hugged everyone, “You know, leaves don’t change color here, but they do in New York. I can’t wait until you all see the beauty!”
Since the initial acceptance of Buffy living someplace else, she has moved twice. The journal she worked for wanted her to move to Colorado to write articles about the life there. So Buffy packed up everything and went back the way she came just 9 months before. She thought it was fitting to move closer to her family, yet still be independent. Of course no matter where she went she couldn’t get away from demons. It was a well known fact that a new slayer was called and there was only one. But it did seem like she would run into one or two demons planning something evil that couldn’t be ignored and she had to take care of it. Nobody seemed to notice, since the demon population wasn’t extraordinary compared to living on the Hellmouth.
After a year, living in Colorado, she was approached but another vacation and travel journal that wanted her talents in Hawaii. They would increase her salary by 10 thousand dollars with added bonuses. Who was she to argue? She called her family and friends letting them know, packed up her meager possessions, and hopped a plane to her knew home.
~*~*~*~
She still lived there, he came up the street and ducked into a neighbor’s yard. He heard a familiar laugh coming from the backyard and peeked over the fence to make sure she was OK. Then he saw it with his very own eyes. The ‘Bit, the watcher, Red, Ayna, and the whelp were all sitting around the table. She wasn’t there. ‘Bit seemed all grown up and looked a lot like her older sister. Her smile. Even her eyes. He took an unneeded deep breath and noticed his nibblit even smelled like her. He couldn’t take it. She was gone. Really gone. This was the proof. He walked away with tears running down his face. This was not a good idea. He shouldn’t have come. He should have stayed in New Orleans and stayed in a drunken stupor and forget about what that demon was talking about. He should have stayed away, like he planned. After he went to Africa and got the chip removed plus his ’bonus’ for a job well done, he decided the best thing for her was that he wasn’t around. She would live with her friends and family. He would survive, barely. He spent his time traveling Europe, staying out of trouble. He knew he could feed off humans, but it seems that he didn’t want to. ‘Damn Bint took that away from him.’ He no longer had his bite. After a year, Spike made his way to New York and ran into his old flame, Drusilla. She wanted her Spike back just like old times, said the stars said he was lost. She would follow him everywhere that he went, pestering him about the good old days and being a family. The thought of spending any more time with his Dark Princess revolted Spike. Finally, Drusilla gave up and left Spike to his own devices.
Suddenly he was in front of his cemetery. Actually, not his. Not anymore. He walked up to his old crypt. He wondered if Clem still lived there, so he knocked. No answer. He opened to door and peered in. No one, not for a long time. He breathed in to smell the different scents, yeah Clem was here. He picked up a slight scent… her. Even after this time, she still haunted his senses. Breathing deeply, he sat down near the sarcophagus and tried to remember the good times he had with her here.
He sat there for what seemed like hours remembering the nights she came to him to help her do something that the others couldn’t. Make her feel alive. He made her feel alive. Suddenly he heard a noise. Fighting. He heard someone slam against his crypt outside. Without thinking, he ran out. He was always ready for a fight, especially tonight. Nothing would have prepared him for what he found as he rounded the crypt. A rather tall, red hair, beauty stood before him, glaring at three fledgling vampires. Her head slowly turned to his direction. She was THE slayer. “Oh, goodie, another one. Four to one, I like the odds,” she quipped. Taking his advantage, a fledging launched himself at her, but was dust before he could get two feet from her. The other two started towards her. She was fighting them off while Spike could only stare. She fought like her. Kicks, punches, snappy comebacks. She was perfection, just like Buffy was. “Hello? Isn’t this the part where you say, I am going to drain you dry or something?” The girl looked annoyed. She must have dusted the two fledglings easily.
Snapping out of his mind, “Oi, right, well I don’t do that. You just crashed up against my ‘ome and I was investigating the noise.” He stepped away. He couldn’t take another slayer. Not right now, she reminded him too much of his slayer.
“Oh wait, let me guess, a vamp with a soul,” she sneered. “That gets old. Even Angel knows better than try to hang that one up anymore.”
“Um, ‘uh?” He couldn’t believe this girl. She knew of Angel. He guessed he tried that pity party with her, too. “Look, I don’t wanna any trouble from a slayer. I just wanted to see what was goin’ on.”
“Honey, I am not A slayer. I am THE slayer. I wish everyone would get over HER. I bet you knew her. You are not a fledgling. You got away? From the stories I have heard, she didn’t a lot get away. You must be really lucky.”
“Umm, yeah, well, ‘lright then. ‘ave a nice night.” He backed away.
“Excuse me, she may have let you go, but that doesn’t mean I will.”
“Go ahead, do it already.” Death wish. If she wasn’t here, he didn’t want to be either. Not with knowing he should have saved her.
“OH. MY. GOD. You are SPIKE.” He looked aghast. How? What? “I am right, aren’t I?” She giggled. “William the fucking bloody is standing before me with his cheat puffed out asking me to end it. Holy Fucking Shit. I can’t believe it. Wait until I tell Giles, he is going to FLIP. Do you hear me, FLIP. When did you get back?” She even acted like Buffy. Hot and Cold. First ready to pounce and then stepped back and was having a friendly conversation. How can this be?
“Are you goin’. ‘f not I am tired and wan’ to go to sleep.” He took his chances. What is the worse thing, she stakes him and then it would be over anyway.
“No, silly, you are Spike right? Giles will want to talk to you about, ummm.. HER. He would not be very happy with me if I don’t give him a chance.” Then she walked away. She turned around and said, “Hey, Spike, come to the Magic Box after sunset, I am sure they will want to talk to you.” With that, she walked away in the night.
The group made their way into the living room. Dawn made popcorn and was walking in with a VHS tape, “Oh, Hawaii was so nice. I can’t wait to show you. Of course, the tape doesn’t do it justice. Everything was so colorful.” Dawn was excited to show the movie Buffy and her made while Dawn visited her. “Oh and Buff’s friend works for a local TV station and helped me put it together. It was awesome.” The group smirked at the young woman standing before them.
“Put the tape in already and let us see,” Willow snickered when Dawn finally took pause to breathe.
“Rude, much,” Dawn huffed. For the next hour, the group watched the TV watching the two sisters frolic and have fun. They all were memorized by the scenes of scuba diving, Dawn’s first try at surfing, the various nightlife establishments, and Buffy’s house. Sitting back with the remote, Dawn hit the rewind button. “Wow, Dawnie, it looks like you had fun. Who was the hot guy teaching you how to surf?”
“Oh, that is Sam, Buffy’s friend that I was telling you about that helped me with the tape.” The all looked around. Did Buffy finally have a new ‘friend.’ “Oh, geeze, guys. It’s not like that!” Dawn saw what they were all thinking. “He is just a friend, just like Xander. He also works at the ‘Forrest.” Dawn said proudly.
“Oh, that’s the club Buffy works at, right?” Xander quipped.
“Umm, yeah, actually, she didn’t tell you?” Dawn looked around trying to find someone that knew.
Giles spoke up, “Actually, Xander, Buffy inherited it a couple months ago. She didn’t want everyone to know, in case something happened to it.” Giles looked around, waiting for a response.
“Yeah, the guy that owned it, really liked Buffy, and when he passed away, gave it to her in his will. It’s a really awesome club, too. It has this really long bar and a couple small ones, all these exotic colors and plants, and an awesome dance floor. The place is packed every night!” Dawn excitedly rambled. She was so excited to see her sister so happy. “Oh, and it makes so much money, she is going to quit the travel mag bis. She said when she officially has made it past the one year mark, she is going to quit writing and start diversifying her holdings, whatever that means.” The gang was quiet. They all were reeling with the information Giles and Dawn have provided.
“She has lots of money?” Ayna asked a little miffed. It wasn’t fair that Ayna didn’t have the money. At that moment a knock came from the front door. Dawn got up to see who was at the door. When she opened the door, he faced brightened.
“Oh my god, what did you do to your hair?” Dawn squealed while she hugged the visitor
Traci shrugged and said, “Oh, got sick of the same old, hey is Giles here?” Dawn nodded and stepped aside for the slayer to enter.
“T-traci, this is a surprise. What’s going on?” The watcher knew something was up, he had a feeling all night. Not a bad feeling, just a weird feeling.
“Guess who is back in town and not looking too good?” She plopped in one of the free chairs with her leg casually draped across the arm of the chair.
Instantly, Giles knew what the feeling meant. “Spike,” he whispered. At Traci’s nod, he sighed.
“Spike, is here? Oh no, you better keep him away from me,” Dawn shook her finger at everyone. She still hasn’t accepted or forgiven him for leaving or for what he did or tried to do to Buffy.
“Yeap, I told him to come see you tomorrow at the Magic Box. He seemed, I don’t know… lost.”
“Lost, how?”
“Like he was seeing a ghost. He just kept starring at me. Almost like he was afraid of me. He backed away from me.” The group all exchanged glances. Spike back in town was not good. The all mentally tried to remember if they did the uninvited spell on their respective homes.
“W-well, I guess I am going to have a visitor tomorrow night. I suggest you all stay inside at night. Who knows why he is back.” Giles thoughtfully concluded. Everyone jumped up and made a quick exit. All thinking the same thing ‘Thank God Buffy isn’t anywhere near here.’
Right after sunset, Spike strolled up to the door to the Magic Box. The last time he was there, his heart was ripped to shreds as she walked away from him. He knew he hurt her, but she acted like he wasn’t even worth it enough to punch. He stopped right before the door, took a deep breath, and reached for the doorknob. As he walked in, Spike noticed two things the place hadn’t changed much and the only person in the building was the heavily armed watcher.
“Why are you here,” Giles questioned softly while looking at the haggard vampire. He stood with an armed crossbow aimed straight at Spike’s heart.
“When?” Was the only answer.
“When what?” Giles asked as Spike moved closer. Giles raised a water gun filled with Holy Water as a warning.
“When did she…when the new one come?” Spike looked pleading into the watcher’s eyes looking for the grief in the watcher’s eyes that he felt.
“Four years ago,” Giles answered. “Why are you here, Spike. Wanting to get revenge on us?” He lowered his weapons a tad.
“What?” Spike vamped out “You, you think I want to ‘urt you? Is that why you are armed to the max?” Spike took a step away. He wasn’t here to fight or cause trouble, just to find out what happened.
“Actually, I have no idea. That is why I am armed. I know about your relationship with Buffy and what you did with Anya. Then you just walk away. You haven’t been here in six years. I have no idea if the chip is work…” At that, Spike grabbed Giles.
“You want to know about the soddin chip do you, see ‘f I’m still nuertered.” Spike sneered. Giles nodded, knowing that Spike could kill him, but not moving to aim his weapons at him. “Well, ‘f ‘t still was in ‘ere,” he let go of Giles and raised his long finger to his temple, “I wouldn’ ‘ave been able to grab you. But that is not what I’m ‘ere for.” Spike stepped away and reached for his cigarettes and lighter.
“Why are you here,” the watcher repeated as he stood realizing that Spike heard there was one slayer and therefore thinks that Buffy is dead. Of course, that probably would be a good idea. If he thought Buffy was dead, then maybe he would leave and not cause trouble.
“I didn’t save ‘er,” Spike quietly answered. “I promised ‘er I would be there when she needed me, and I left. I didn’t save ‘er from that bloody gang of ‘ellions. I should ‘ave been there, no matter what, I should have been there.” Spiked looked away as his emotions pressed into his eyes and he started to cry.
“What do you want?” Giles took pity on the vampire. He was grieving for his lost love, not knowing that she wasn’t dead. But Giles certainly wasn’t going to correct him.
“What do I want?” Spike scoffed at Gile’s nod. “I want to be with the woman I love, but any chance of that is gone. Gone a long time ago. I want to know ‘ow? Why? Did she get to say goodbye?” Spiked hazard a glance at the watcher, regretting his action when he saw pity in his eyes.
“Alrighty, why don’t you sit down.” Giles let go of his weapon and sat down in a chair. Spike sighed and sat across from him. Giles recounted the demise of Faith, without mentioning names. He was telling Spike about the slayer that died by the hand of that demon gang. That’s what Spike wanted, asked for. Spike even mentioned the gang earlier. Giles wasn’t lying, just talking about two different people. Ok, he was lying by omission, but what was Giles supposed to do? Tell Spike that Buffy was rich and living in Hawaii?
“What happened to the gang of hellions?” Spike growled.
“We took care of them. They can’t hurt anyone else.” Giles said truthfully. He didn’t mention that Buffy actually hunted every last one of the gang for months until each met with their maker. Spike got up and started to pace. His mind was racing with thoughts. Why would his slayer let a stupid bloody gang of demons get to her.
“What about the ‘bit?” He asked suddenly while he whipped around.
“She is fine. More than fine. She is going to graduate early from school,” Giles slowly stood up and looked deep into Spike’s eyes. “But she made it clear she didn’t want to see you.” Spike didn’t look surprised. His emotions were indescribable. Grief, pain, love, friendship all passed through his eyes as he stood there. Spike nodded. “I never got to say goodbye to her last time, could you give her a message?” Giles nodded in agreement. “Tell ‘er I’m stayin’ at the hotel on 83, room 5. If she wants to talk or whatever, I’ll be there for the next three days.” Spike looked down at the floor. He had to do something things before he left. “One more thing, Watcher, where is she?”
Giles look like a deer in the headlights. Hawaii, but if he said that, Spike would have known she really wasn’t dead. Quick to come up with something, he stated “Umm, there is no burial site.” Spike nodded, content with the answer. Spike got up from the table and started towards the door and then suddenly stopped.
“Rupert, for what it is worth, I’m sorry. I wish I could have prevented it.” Spike took the last step outside without looking back. Time to go for a walk and think.
Spike did his best thinking while walking. He was glad that the gang decided not to bury Buffy again. After waking up in a coffin and going through the torture of clawing her way up, her spirit would want to be free of the box for eternity. She is an angel, Spike mused as he looked up at the stars. Maybe she has been watching him from the heavens. He certainly hasn’t been watching out for himself the last couple years, he should have been dust at least two dozen times. Drinking himself into oblivion at night, only to be drunk enough to walk into the morning light, but at the last moment, changing his mind. He had to be better than that, for her. She deserved someone that could be there for her and he walked away. Not worthy. Not worthy of being a chicken and walking out in sunlight. He must suffer a life without her, for what he had done. He looked up during his musings and realized he was at Joyce’s cemetery. Another person he disappointed. How could he treat her daughter like he had. Joyce liked him, too. How could he do that to her and her memory? He trudged through the grave stones and markers to find hers. Maybe a little talk with her would make things clearer.
As he neared her resting place, he heard a tiny noise. Suddenly aware of his surrounding, he looked around. As he rounded a tree, he saw a crying angel. She was bent over Joyce’s grave sniffling and talking. Quietly he listened to the ‘Bit as she talked to her mom. He was just telling her things that were going on in her life. School, friends, boys, just ordinary life events. Then after about twenty minutes her one sided conversation turned to a new topic. “Mom, Spike’s back. I know you always liked him, and I did, too. That is until I found out what he did to Buffy. How could he do that to someone he claimed to love for over a year? I know, Buffy said it wasn’t entirely his fault, that she treated him the same awful way, but Mom, he tried to rape her thinking it would make her love him. How messed up is that?” Dawn sniffled again, trying to understand. “You know, Buffy told me she forgave him for that. Forgave him, Mom. I asked her how and she said she had to forgive her self for letting it go that far and if she could do that she had to forgive him. She’s acting like she deserved it, asked for it. That’s just not right. Oh, and the kicker… he heard that Buffy was dead. That’s why he came back. Ha. He couldn’t come back before, but now she is gone he thinks he can just walk right in and pick up where he left off. Well, I don’t want to see him.” She was crying in earnest again. He hurt his Lilbit just as much as he hurt Buffy. Maybe worse. But if what the ‘Bit said, Buffy found a way to forgive him before she died. She found peace before it happened. “And you want to know the worst part… no, I guess it is the best part of this whole thing is. The Scoobies decided not to tell him that Buffy isn’t dead.” Spike gasped and tripped as he took a step back. Dawn’s head swiveled in his direction. Her hand came up to her mouth and her eyes were wide open and round. “Ohmygod, no!” She screamed. “You’ve been listening to me? You are such a PRICK!” Dawn screamed at the direction of the vampire. He quickly regained his footing and stood up. Spike just stared at the young woman in front of him.
“W-what?” Spike stuttered.
“Oh my God they are going to KILL me.”
“She’s alive? Not dead?” Dawn nodded slowly.
“So here we are on this sailboat and I am strapped down on the side, puking my guts out. I swear to you, 20 foot waves bouncing us around. And Buffy is so trying to be cool about it, but I saw how she was holding on to that ropey-line thingy. She was holding on to dear life.” Dawn giggled at the memory of her sister looking so out of her element.
After the initial shock, Dawn decided that she needed to talk to Spike, so they went to a local coffee house that was open 24/7. She told him about how Buffy traveled and found a job at a tourism magazine and how she settled down in New York and Colorado. She told him about Hawaii and the vacation she just came back from. “I have pictures and this really cool video we took back at the house, if you want to see.” Dawn didn’t totally trust Spike yet, but he sat there quietly as she related her memories. Every couple minutes his eyes would sparkle at the thought of Buffy actually happy and having a normal life.
“So what ‘bout you, I ‘eard you were going to graduate early?” He asked after Dawn finished up with some tales of Hawaii.
“Oh yeah, I guess I got the smart gene, must have skipped Buff, because I am graduating cum laude this year. I am going for the masters and then doctorate. You can call me Dr. Dawn.” She smiled at her joke and Spiked looked like he was in pure heaven. His little Nibblet was making something out of herself.
“Um, so I ‘ave a question for you.” He paused as she nodded. “Last time I was… um… well you two were barely makin’ ends meet. Did you win the lottery?”
Dawn giggled at the thought. “No, somehow Buffy got a hold of our father and convinced him to step up to his duty and support me.”
“You ‘ave a Dad?” Spike asked incredulously.
“Believe it or not, yes, we have a father, not a Dad. Once he and Mom split and we moved to Sunnydale, he disappeared. Supposedly he was off screwing his secretary, but he never was here. Stop payment, etc. Buffy hated him for abandoning us. He was the first man to do that to her, you know.” Dawn’s scold didn’t bypass Spike, he knew what she meant. “She never wanted anything to do with him after a year. But she found him and convinced him that it wasn’t to late to be a father to me.” Dawn shook her head remembering Hank’s face when Buffy had him up against the wall threatening him with lawsuits and bodily harm if he didn’t cough up cash for school supplies for Dawn. “Then after Buffy found that job in New York and was working permanently, she set up an account for me in case I ever needed it. That money is allowing me to go back to school for the masters, she can’t wait to call me Dr. Dawn. She doesn’t really care what I do with it, each month she keeps adding to it, making sure I don’t have to go through what she did. When she went to Hawaii, she had a HUGE pay increase and she paid off the mortgage of the house and bought me a new car. You should see the house she has, I have pictures back home….” Dawn’s eyes went all dreamy thinking of the beach front property. “Oh and she now owns a night club and small hotel. It is the neatest place.”
“’ow’s that?” Spike was incredibly interested in how Buffy came into enough money to support her sister and then some. That’s all she ever wanted to do.
“Well, when she first moved there, she was working for another travel tourism journal, but you know Buffy, she loves the night life. So she got herself a part-time job at this local bar as a waitress or barmaid or something. The owner took a real liking to her and she liked him.” Spike started to get the wrong impression and jealousy flared up in his eyes. “It turns out that his guy ended up the ever present father figure (with out the actual father) in Buffy’s life. He didn’t have much family around and the ones that stuck around were just waiting for him to kick the bucket. So anyways, when he passed away she found out that he not only owned this hole in the wall bar, but he owned a restaurant and a hotel and he left them to her. Lock, stock, and barrel. Of course, his family wasn’t happy and tried to drag Buff into the court, claiming she seduced their 89 year old grandfather. His lawyer came to the rescue and proved that even before Buffy came around, he wasn’t planning on leaving his family anything. He was donating them to the state of Hawaii.” Dawn smiled at the look of pride Spike had in his eyes. Buffy did alright for herself. Even before she became and heiress, she was taking care of Dawn.
“So, do you miss ‘er much?”
“Oh yeah, it’s nice not having to worry about money anymore, but having Buffy around is worth so much more. She comes and visits twice a year and we go visit her. It was really difficult right after she left, I mean Traci is a great Slayer, maybe even rivaling Buff, but she never was into the group scenario. It took sometime, but I think we all understand why she had to go now.”
Anger flared in Spike’s eyes, “No one is even close to Buffy…especially that bint. She might have a good show, but Buffy is the original.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way Spike. Buffy trained Traci over a year, so of course Traci fights like Buff, but I mean she can roll with the punches and adapt. Not many people can do that. And she gets the book stuff, too. Buffy never was into the research part of the job.” Dawn tried to explain, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Spike will always think Buffy is the best even after everyone is gone, he still will believe she was the best.
“So, anyway, want to see the video? It’s really cool. Buff has this really cool friend named Sam. He edited the video so it looks like a real movie. He even put music to it, under the voices and stuff.”
“Sure Nibblet, I would love to.”
~*~*~*~
The next night, Spike went over to the house on Revello. Outside, it looked the same, but inside was a different matter. The old wood and comfortable furniture was gone and in it’s place was modern, stiff pieces in it’s place. Steel, glass, and plastic seemed to dominate the decoration. This wasn’t the same comfortable house Spike remembered. Dawn sat him down in what he guessed Dawn thought was a comfortable chair and they watched Dawn’s vacation videos. Pictures of a very mature and happy looking Buffy in a bikini swimming in the ocean, in a sports bathing suit snorkeling, and sailing assaulted his eyes. The same pictures of a grown up Dawn swimming beside her sister, having fun in the sun made his heart break. They had a guy with them, filming the vacation, which made Spike incredibly jealous. He could never take the Summer’s girls out in the sun like they deserve. He watched as the video showed Buffy’s beach house, the three people having a cook out as the sun dips in the horizon, something he would only be able to see on the television. Then the scene changes to a club. The video rolled on as loud music was beating in the background and Buffy was behind the bar, mixing drinks like a pro. Next to her, was the same man that previously was holding the camera, they looked too chummy. His name is Sam, they are just friends, Spike keeps reminding himself. Pictures of Dawn and Buffy shopping in the local downtown are next. Then more swimming, this time in a private pool that Dawn says is at Buffy’s house. He watched as images of a very beautiful woman sang to his heart, pulling at something he thought was long dead. Her eyes sparkle even more than he remembered. Green and gold flecks dancing as she laughs at a joke that Sam was telling. Spike can’t take it anymore. He gets up to pace trying to stave off the tears in his eyes. This was proof that she really was alive. He skin was even more golden than he remembered. Her once long, golden hair was short, styled more maturely, and had more brown than blonde. She definite looked happy. And she looked normal. “Dawn, I’m sorry. I thought I could, but I can’t I ‘ave to go.”
Dawn chased after Spike as he headed
towards the door. “Wait, you can’t do this again.”
He turned around and looked into her eyes, “Do what, Dawn?”
“Just leave. You can’t. You broke your promise once, don’t do it again. Tell me what is wrong?” He allowed her to pull him back into the house. They both sat down on the modern leather couch. She let him sit there in silence, letting him start the conversation on his own.
“I never thought I could come back. She would never be able to forgive me, what I did was ‘orrible. I can’t forgive myself for actin’ that way. It was just terrible. I am a monster. No matter ‘ow much I tried to hide my demon, it figured a way out. I ‘eard you talk to you mum, ‘Bit, I know you know all the ugly details.” He looked up into her eyes and she nodded, not really remembering what she said as she sobbed on her Mom’s grave. “So anyways, ‘ere I was, in some soddin’ bar passed out on the bar. And these vamps start chittin’ about the slayer ‘ere. Talking up a terrible storm, they were. I don’t want to tell you something they said about ‘er. Anyways, I ‘eard Slayer and I immediately ‘ad my ears to their conversation. They told me about the old slayer dying in a gang in LA. ‘ey, wait a minute, Giles….Watcherman, told me about it. What the FUCK is going on.” Anger permeated Spike’s whole body. He got up, wanting to bust the watcher’s head in. “Where is ‘e?”
”Oh, he must have been telling you about Faith. She was released from jail and
was attacked the same night. Buffy tried to get there in time, but it was too
late.” Dawn looked down at her hands. “Did he really tell you that was
Buffy?” She looked up at Spike. Had the watcher said Buffy’s name? He
couldn’t remember, but why would Spike care about Faith, someone he never even
met? Of course, the watcher didn’t want Spike anywhere near Buffy. Spike never
said Buffy’s name out loud just references about a demon gang. Shit, the
watcher really didn’t lie, but he certainly didn’t tell the truth.
“I guess not, but ‘e really wasn’t clear as ‘e could have been.”
Dawn nodded, understanding. “So where do you want to go from here?” Such a simple question with such a complicated answer.
“I don’t know, ‘Bit.” They sat on the couch for minutes in silence. “I don’t know.”
~*~*~*~
After Spike left the house, Dawn picked up the phone and dialed a very familiar number.
“Rainforest, this is Sam, may I help you?” A familiar voice came from the phone.
“Hey Sam, it’s Dawn, can I speak to Lizzy?” Dawn still giggled at the name Buffy was using. Her given name wasn’t Elizabeth, why did she go by it or any nickname derived from it?
“Hey, Buttons, she’s a little busy right now, a bunch of drunk kids walked in and want more drinks, she is trying not to embarrass them, but they are making that difficult. I’ll let her know you called. How have you been?”
“Oh just fine. Missing the fun in the sun of Hawaii.”
“Oh don’t give me that. I know California is just as sunny, if not more considering you do not have the mountains around.” He chuckled. Dawn blushed, thinking of how cute he looked in his swimming suit in the sun and how nice he was. Buffy is so lucky to find friends like him everywhere she goes.
“Yeah, well it’s not the same without Buf-Lizzy. What have you been up to?” Talking to Sam was so easy. He was one of those people that five minutes after you met him, it seemed you have known him for years.
“A little bit of this a little bit of that. Oh one good thing happened. I got joint custody of Jenna.” Dawn squealed at the good news. Sam’s ex-wife, mother of his child, was trying to keep Sam away from his own child.
“That’s wonderful, how?”
“Well, it’s thanks to your sister, she put her ass on the line in front of the judge, but it worked. I have complete half rights. We are now equal parents. I am so happy to be part of the kid’s life, you know? I missed so much because of her and her manipulative ways.” His voice dripped with hatred every time he talked about his ex, but filled with joy when he talked about Jenna.”
“That wonderful, Sam. I better be going, but please tell Liz I need to talk to her ASAP?”
“Sure thing, Buttons. Have a good night.”
Two days later, Buffy still hadn’t returned Dawn’s call and she was getting anxious to reveal her plan, but she wished she could talk to Buffy first. Dawn already knew Buffy’s position on Spike, but Spike needed to know.
Spike decided to stay in town for a little bit, only with reassurances that Traci wouldn’t hunt him. He wasn’t feeding on humans and he barely came out of the hotel except to hang out with Dawn. From sundown to sunup, Dawn and Spike would be together. They talked about his journey to Africa, but not the result. Dawn accepted him as is, it did not matter that he had his soul. Dawn showed him the travel journals, Buffy wrote for and the articles that she wrote. Every couple articles, it had a picture of Buffy in some sort of pose. Pictures of Buffy walking down a road laden with autumn leaves in New York, Buffy at a roulette table in Las Vegas, Buffy ready to ski down the Rocky Mountains, Buffy smiling in front of Mount Rushmore, and Buffy swimming with dolphins in Hawaii. Spike still couldn’t believe the life Buffy and Dawn were leading. It was bloody magnificent in his opinion. Both girls looked happy. He knew Dawn wishes her sister was still around, but Dawn’s life wouldn’t be the same if that was the case. Dawn told him about the lives of all the Scoobies, mentioning things that were monumental. He usually was quiet during her stories, sometimes she wondered even if he was listening. But when she looked deep into his eyes, she could see his brain ticking away. Filing all the information away. Dawn also saw something else, something that was bothering her old friend. “Spike, what is it?”
“What, ‘Bit?” He absolutely had no clue what she wanted
“Something is bothering you? What?” She pleaded.
“Nothing for you to worry ‘bout.”
“Don’t give me that, I’m a grown up person, I can handle it, whatever it is”
“Dawn, please, don’t.” He reached for her hand.
“No, I know it’s there, tell me.” She was as stubborn as her sister. How could he tell her that he had to go. Everything about Dawn reminded Spike about Buffy. Her scent, her long flowing hair, her eyes, her mouth, her personality it could go on for ever.
“I need to leave, ‘Bit. I’m sorry.” He finally admitted.
“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Her eyes betrayed her voice. She knew what he meant.
“No, I need to leave Sunnydale. I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He stood up to leave.
“No, you can’t,” Dawn jumped up, “at least not yet.” She grabbed his arm to turn him around.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Dawn was trying to find the words. “I’ve been thinking.” Dawn stumbled. “How would you like a tropical vacation?”
“W-what?” Spike spit out in disbelief.
“I mean, I have been trying to get a hold of Buffy to let her know you are OK and here, but she hasn’t been able to return my calls. And I know she would be so mad if I didn’t let her know. So I was thinking, if she wont come to us, we go to her?” She met his eyes and knew she just BLEW him away. He stood there looking into Dawn’s eyes, trying to figure out what game she was playing, but finally he decided she really meant what she said.
“No, I don’t think big sis would be too ‘appy if we just showed up on her doorstep.”
“See, Spike. I know her, better than you. I know she wont mind. I mean she will at first, since shocker!! But after that. She will be all good with it.”
“No, you don’t understand, when I left, we weren’t in a good place.”
“Oh, Spike. I know. I know more than you, it seems. She doesn’t hold that against you, she actually doesn’t blame you for anything…” Dawn trailed off knowing she said too much already. Spike looked at her, realizing the implications, but unwilling to put words to it, so he just nodded in consent.
“When?” His voice squeaked, damn his emotions.
“Whenever, I have a free pass whenever I want to come, so as soon as we can get you the proper transport, I’m ready for a little more fun in Hawaii.