CHAPTER 6 - Unexpected Surprise

"Ah, Elizabeth, there you are, I've been looking for you," Rupert Giles said as he entered the kitchen where she was having a cup of tea.

"What's up?" she queried lightly.

The older man gave his niece a contrite smile and took off his wire-rimmed glasses. Pulling out a spotlessly clean handkerchief from the inside pocket of his tweed suite, he then vigorously began to polish the already unmarked lenses. "Elizabeth, I have to apologise," he said in a regretful tone. "It completely slipped my mind that I shall be bringing a colleague home with me today. He's going to be taking over the English Literature chair at Cambridge on a six-month trial. I said that he could stay with us for a while…until he found his feet, as it were." Giles put his glasses back on then pocketed his hanky and offered another small smile. "I had every intention of telling you before now but he rang while you were visiting your parents a few weeks ago and it just went entirely out of my head."

Elizabeth sighed. Rupert Giles had a notoriously bad memory when it came to the day to day living of life in general. Ask him about the Salem Witch Trials or the Tolpuddle Martyrs and he'd talk for hours recalling every minute detail he'd ever read but remembering where he'd parked his car? Forget it. Having one of his friends over wasn't an unusual occurrence and the house was more than big enough to accommodate him but a little bit more warning would still have been nice.

Mentally reviewing the kitchen cupboards and fridge, she realised that they were low on food and would need to go to the supermarket.

"That's okay. I have to go shopping anyway," she replied absently as she checked her watch. She needed to get going if she was to get back and sort out a bedroom and make a start on dinner.

"Excellent," Giles commented in relief and turned to go only to be stopped by Elizabeth's stern voice.

"Don’t forget that Liam Connell is coming tomorrow afternoon," she reminded him.

"Who?" asked Giles turning around to look at her with a baffled expression.

"Liam Connell," Elizabeth repeated patiently. "Your publisher, remember?"

"Ah, yes…yes, of course," the older man said with sudden recollection. "I'll make a note of it in my diary when I get to the university. Goodbye Elizabeth, I'll see you later."

"Bye," she called after him then quickly finished her drink and went to the phone to call her best friend, Willow Rosenburg.

Willow was the daughter of an American tutor at Cambridge. They'd met when her uncle had invited the family over for dinner and she'd liked the petite, shy girl immediately.

Bonding over a couple of bottles of wine one evening, Elizabeth had told her horrified friend about Parker and, in turn, learned that Willow had had a crush on her childhood friend, Xander, for years. A crush that had grown into adult love on her side…but not his.

Around the same time that her father had secured his position in England, she approached Xander to tell him of her feelings. His response had been a gentle, but firm, rebuff to the heartbroken girl and, in her misery, she'd jumped at the chance to move abroad with her parents seeing it as a fresh start after years of pining for a boy who would only ever see her as nothing more than a friend.

It proved to be the best thing she'd ever done. A year after Willow had settled in England, she'd met a young man called Daniel Osbourne. Daniel, or Oz as he preferred to be known, had been backpacking around the world using the time to decide what he wanted to do with his life before heading back to America.

As soon as he'd seen Willow though, everything had changed. Smitten from the very first, he'd pursued the redhead with a relentlessness that belied his outwardly laid back demeanour.

They'd been together three years now and Elizabeth suspected that it wouldn't be much longer before her friend was telling her that they were getting engaged.

After Willow agreed to go with her, Elizabeth grabbed her coat and purse and hurried out to her car.

In the south, it was already beginning to feel like Spring, the mild weather a stark contrast to the snow laden roads of only five weeks earlier.

Five weeks.

Five weeks since she'd visited her parents.

Five weeks since William and that night.

Sitting in the drivers seat, Elizabeth felt the usual shakiness invading her limbs that accompanied any thoughts about William and determinedly forced back the memories. Memories that since that night hadn't diminished in the slightest. Every night she dreamt of him…touching her…kissing her…loving her…

At first she'd thought that maybe it was all still so clear because she was concerned about any repercussions; but, three weeks after she'd got back home, her body had provided irrefutable proof that her momentary insanity hadn't resulted in creating a child.

Although she was grateful of the fact, it didn't stop the surge of disappointment and loss that swept through her at the knowledge that, physically, she wouldn't have something to remind her of the night she'd shared with William.

Not that she was equipped to bring up a child alone…she didn't have the inner strength, the fortitude…and yet…

To have loved William so intensely and to have him love her the same way in return that that loving had created a new life…

Elizabeth shook her head suddenly and tutted in impatience at her romanticism. Truth was, she behaved like an irresponsible idiot and she was extremely lucky that she hadn't become pregnant as a result.

Turning the key, she started her car and began to drive. She still had no idea why she'd acted the way she had but the initial shock and shame she'd experienced the morning after had gone. In its place was an odd guilty awareness that it was the pleasure of those hours she remembered most and not the sick feeling of self-disgust that followed them.

In fact, at times, she wondered if she'd conjured the whole night up. If so, she had a better imagination than she realised. And yet, to have acted so wildly out of character, the only possible answer was to conclude that it had all been a wonderful dream.

Turning a corner, Willow's house appeared and Elizabeth took a deep breath before releasing it slowly. She'd not told her friend what happened, preferring to keep the precious memories to herself. Besides, how could she expect her friend to understand what she'd done, when she hadn't got a clue herself?

She was about to turn off the engine when the front door opened and her redheaded friend came out giving her a wave and cheery grin. Elizabeth smiled and waved back, watching the young woman lock the door behind her then jog down the path to the car.

"Hey," Willow greeted as she opened the door and got in. Fastening her seatbelt, she said, "So, Giles sprung another unexpected guest on you, did he?"

"Yep," the blonde replied on a sigh. "One day I'd like to get a little more than a two minute warning, you know?"

Willow chuckled and nodded. "So where we off to first?"

"The supermarket and then the dry cleaners. I have to pick up a couple of blouses."

"Okay," the redhead replied, settling back comfortably in her seat.

Chatting non-stop, the two women reached the supermarket and made short work of the grocery shopping. Once Elizabeth had retrieved her freshly cleaned tops, they then went into a local tearoom and had some lunch then drove back to Giles' house.

While they put the food away, Elizabeth glanced out of the window and frowned at the wild state of the large garden. She really needed to do something about that. Definitely had to be weeded and then maybe plant some perennials that she could watch come back and multiply year after year.

Letting out a sigh, she realised that if her family knew the train of her thoughts, they'd be horrified. Stay in one place for years on end? Unthinkable! For them there was no pleasure to be garnered from running a home and all the permanency that came with it. In fact, it was so foreign a notion to them, that for years Elizabeth tried to deny the feelings in herself. As she'd got older, however, she'd learned to accept the part of her nature that demanded the feeling of stability and embraced it whole-heartedly.

Problem was, these days women were expected to have wonderful careers, bring up a family and still look glamorous and worldly. Having it all, they called it. Didn't people realise that it was virtually impossible for anyone, no matter how highly motivated, to reach such an amazing standard of perfection? That many women, when faced with the hopelessness of reaching said heights, found it only emphasised their own inadequacies?

Women were good at feeling guilty…Elizabeth knew that only too well…they really didn't need to have any extra burdens weighing them down; like spending the night in the arms of a complete stranger and handing your virginity over with no more than a whimper.

"You okay?" came Willow's concerned voice, jolting Elizabeth out of her musings.

Realising she was still staring out of the window, she turned to her friend and gave her a smile. "I'm fine," she said brightly. "Just phased out there for a minute."

Willow gave her a small smile back and said hesitantly, “You know, you’ve been a little be spacey ever since you came back from your parents house. Did something happen while you were up there?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened fractionally and then she brushed passed her friend and grabbed a shopping bag, beginning to empty it. “No,” she said, keeping her gaze locked firmly on her task. “Nothing happened. I told you, I’m fine.”

Willow frowned, knowing she was lying. Placing a hand on Elizabeth’s arm, she stayed her friend’s movements and told her, “If you ever need to talk, you know I’m here, right?”

Elizabeth looked up into the redhead’s caring eyes and felt her restraint weaken for a moment. Part of her longed to talk about William and the wonderful night they shared but another, harder part of her that despised herself for what she did, couldn’t free the words.

“I know, Willow,” she replied quietly. “Thanks.”

The redhead smiled slightly and nodded. Removing her hand, she walked over to the fridge and finished off putting the food away. For a moment there, she had been certain that Elizabeth would tell her what was bothering her but then she’d stopped herself.

She sighed lightly. Maybe it was the fact that Dawn had got engaged. Seeing your younger sister obtaining everything you’d ever dreamed of had to be heartbreaking. Which was precisely why she had yet to tell her friend of her own engagement. No need to make her feel worse.

Elizabeth gathered up the plastic bags then placed them in a cupboard under the sink in order to use them another day. Willow’s tentative observation about her acting vague had been a shock. She’d thought she’d managed to keep a majority her musing time to when she was alone but obviously she hadn’t.

Suddenly, she mentally pulled herself up short and asked herself what the hell she was doing. She’d literally pined for the guy for five weeks. Five weeks! Would he be doing the same? No! She’d be willing to bet he’d not even given her a passing thought.

God, what was she doing to herself?

‘Face it,’ she told herself cruelly. ‘What happened meant nothing to him. It was just a brief sexual fling. You could’ve been anyone.’

Ignoring the lurch of her stomach at that last thought, she turned to her friend determinedly pushing all thoughts of William out of her mind. For good.

With a new sense of purpose, she told Willow she was going upstairs to make up a bed for Giles’ friend. The redhead went with her and after they were done, they went back to the kitchen and sat down for a cup of tea and a chat before starting dinner.

They’d only been sat a couple of minutes when the chugging sound of a diesel engine reached their ears announcing the arrival of Giles and his friend.

“They’re early,” Elizabeth commented with a glance at her watch.

“I’ll start peeling some veg for you, then I’ve got to go and meet Oz,” Willow offered as Elizabeth got up.

“Are you sure you’ve got time?” the blonde queried not wanting to make her friend late.

“Yeah, don’t worry.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth said gratefully. “I’ll just go and say, ‘Hi’ and see if they want a drink and then I’ll be right back.”

She left the kitchen and reached the hallway just as the front door opened and Rupert walked in laughing at something that his colleague must have said.

“Very true, very true,” Giles commented with a chuckle as he stood aside for his friend to enter. “But however they look, you can’t deny that Citroens do give such a comfortable ride.”

“Personally they give me sea sickness; all that rolling about.”

Elizabeth froze in shock as the voice that replied sent a tremor of recognition through her entire body. Male, vibrant and achingly familiar, she found herself overwhelmed by feelings of disbelief, fear and not a little anger. ‘This couldn’t be happening,’ her mind screamed out in silent protest at who she knew was going to walk through that doorway any second now.
But it was. And there wasn’t a single thing she could do to stop it.

It was William.

TBC IN CHAPTER 7
 

CHAPTER 7 - A Tangled Web

Elizabeth's head whirled as she fought back a wave of nausea at the fact that William was just about to walk through her uncle's front door. Willing her limbs to move, she backed up a couple of paces until her back hit the wall. Taking a deep calming breath, she watched Giles hold the door open allowing William to enter and felt her heart kick up into high gear.

Seconds later, there he was…her scruffy angel. Except, he wasn't scruffy anymore. Not at all. In fact, the only reminder of their night together was the leather duster he wore. Everything else had changed.

As he put his cases down, Elizabeth ran her eyes over his form and swallowed hard. Gone was the beard to reveal a strong jaw line, the full bottom lip and the highest, most defined, pair of cheekbones she'd ever seen in her entire life. The overlong, curly hair had been cut and slicked tidily back with no evidence of the bleach she knew he once had in sight. The jeans and sweater were replaced by black trousers and a button down shirt in a shade of blue that, she was certain, would perfectly match the colour of his eyes if she could bring herself to actually meet his gaze. Completing his new smart look was a pair of black leather slip-on's that now adorned his feet instead of the scuffed boots she remembered.

"You must come and meet my niece," Giles said, bringing Elizabeth snapping to attention.

Belatedly, she realised she should have made a dash for the relative safety of the kitchen before both men realised she was there…but now it was too late.

As her uncle turned towards the kitchen, his face lit up into a smile upon spying her and she forced herself to move forward, silently sending up a prayer that William wouldn't remember her. Unfortunately, God wasn't listening as she saw the way his eyes…and yes, they really did perfectly match his shirt as she'd thought…widened slightly in recognition and then narrowed as he focussed on her more intensely.

"Elizabeth, this is William Saunders. He's my colleague who shall be staying with us for a while," Giles introduced before looking at William. "William, this is my niece, Elizabeth Summers."

William was faster to recover than she'd been and extended his hand courteously. He could hardly believe his eyes. After weeks of dreaming and thinking of Buffy constantly, here she was standing right slap bang in front of him. In the flesh. But apparently, not in name…

Hesitantly, Elizabeth took his proffered grasp and immediately became conscious of the slightly rough texture of his hand. A hand that had touched her skin and brought it to dizzying heights of highly sensitised desire.

"Elizabeth…"

The hard, deliberate way he said her name destroyed her efforts at self-control and she couldn't help the hot, guilty rush of colour that stained her skin. Unable to speak, she tried to smile instead, but her weak effort fell far short of the ease of his nonchalant demeanour. 'Probably because he's had more practice at this,' Elizabeth thought to herself bitterly.

"Elizabeth, would you mind showing William to his room for me please?" her uncle requested, apparently unaware of the underlying tension between the two. "I have a rather urgent telephone call to make."

Realising there was no way to escape, Elizabeth nodded mutely, her gaze darting to William who was still staring back at her intently. Feeling the warmth rush to her cheeks once more, she looked away and headed towards the staircase.

Inwardly, Elizabeth struggled to stay calm. This confrontation with William was so unexpected, so unwanted that it was only bringing home to her, if it needed reinforcing, the whole sordidness of their encounter. Mentally rearing it's ugly head, self-disgust forced her to forget that in his arms she'd felt neither guilt nor any loss of self-respect - instead it had been the reverse. She'd felt cherished, loved, desired, wanted…

Climbing the stairs, her fingers tightened around the banister rail as she felt the heat of William's body close behind. Too close. Everything in her screamed at her to take to her heels and run, but William proved too fast. As soon as the sound of Giles' study door closing reached her ears, she felt William's fingers closing around her wrist, forcing her to stand still.

Determined not to be intimidated, she slowly turned then pointedly looked down at her hand and up to his face. "Is something wrong?" she asked, trying to inject as much coolness into her tone as she muster.

Taken aback at the iciness of her tone, William felt the first stirrings of irritation. "Is something wrong?" he repeated in disbelief. "Do you even need to ask? My colleague introduces me to his niece, Elizabeth Summers and, bugger me, if I don't already happen to know her by a completely different name! Care to enlighten me a little here, luv?"

"Buffy is a pet name my family use," Elizabeth told him stiffly, the casual endearment he'd uttered simultaneously annoying and thrilling her.

"And very convenient in case I tried to follow up on our…" he paused to let his gaze wander slowly down to her chest and up again, "…acquaintance."

Elizabeth's lips compressed into a hard line, his insolent gaze and insinuating words affecting her far more than she would have liked. She knew damn well that there was scant chance he would've bothered to look for her, but she wasn't about to tell him why she lied. Why, just for once, she'd wanted to be someone other than herself.

"You can think what you like," she told him brusquely. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

"No, you don't," he agreed, watching her now with an intensity that suffused her body in scorching heat. "Although it would be nice to know, except…you didn't want me to find you, did you?" William realised suddenly, the fact that she'd not given him her proper name, even on the morning after, not lost on him.

Feeling like he'd punched in the gut, he thought back over the useless hunt he'd embarked on during the past few weeks and felt the first glimmerings of uncertainty begin to unfurl. Up until that moment, he'd been certain that what had happened between them was very special. Not only that she'd given him her virginity, but also that they'd shared a connection few couples of long standing ever manage to attain. He'd felt it, so she must have too…right?

Elizabeth's next words provided his answer.

"I can't think of any reason why either of us would want to see each other again," she remarked stiffly, baffled as to why he kept pursuing that train of thought. Surely he wanted to forget the whole night as much as she did?

William felt his stomach drop and was about to release her wrist when a sudden wave of defiant anger rolled over him. "Can't you?" he retorted curtly, his raised eyebrow adding emphasis as he leaned in to her slightly. Mentally she may be refusing to acknowledge how amazing that night was, but physically she wouldn't be able to hide it and he was determined to prove it.

The unexpected move, coupled with the sudden leap of flame that ignited in his eyes made her stomach twist sharply. Heat suddenly flooded through her…a heat that had nothing to do with guilt or the burning self-revulsion she'd felt earlier. No…this heat had its roots in the delicious ache that was rapidly and treacherously infiltrating her system.

It took every piece of her willpower not to lean into him and taste those wonderful lips just one more time. Feel what it'd be like to kiss him without the coarseness of his beard rasping over her skin. Instead, she forced herself to concentrate on replying to his question. "If you're talking about the possibility of a baby…" she managed to get out in a shaky voice.

"I wasn't," William denied then tilted his head to the side and looked down her body appraisingly. "But I take it you're not pregnant?"

"No," she hastily confirmed, not registering the faint look of disappointment that William sported at her answer as her mind worked overtime at trying to figure out what else he could have meant. "Oh!" she exclaimed as the reason why he might have wanted to see her again suddenly became crystal clear and she stared back at him defiantly.

Sex.

He wanted to start up an affair where they both indulged their sexual needs with no emotional attachment or commitment of any kind on either side. Especially his.

God, just what kind of a woman did he think she was? Her righteous indignation disintegrated at that moment and she looked down, suddenly ashamed, as it hit her exactly what type of woman he thought she was…and with good reason.

Wondering what she'd thought of, William watched the play of emotions cross Elizabeth's face with interest and felt his heart squeeze at the pain he glimpsed in her eyes before she looked away. He knew he wasn't handling the situation very well as he was still reeling from the shock of seeing her again, but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

He was just trying to understand what the hell was going on, but she was being as distant now as she had been then. Was there something he was missing? Had he been so certain that her actions were because she was an innocent that he failed to acknowledge any other reason for her behaviour? Obviously so if her desire to remain anonymous was anything to go by.

His thoughts were broken off when the ring of the phone was heard followed a few seconds later by Giles opening his door. "Elizabeth, it's Connor for you, long distance," he called out before going back in.

Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise. What on earth was her sister's fiancé ringing her for? Had there been an accident? Had something happened to Dawn? As she started to go down the stairs, William's grip on her wrist tightened and she looked up into his cold features.

"Who the bloody hell is Connor?" he ground out, unsuccessfully trying to keep his sudden flare of jealousy at bay.

Elizabeth blinked at his harsh tone and it hit her then that all her problems could be solved with just one more lie. One teeny, tiny falsehood that would ensure that William didn't attempt to try and pick up were they left off.

"Connor's my fiancé," she told him, unaware of the desperation colouring her tone. "He's my fiancé and I have to go and talk to him right now."

William's mouth dropped open in shock and this time when she started down the stairs, he let her go. Numbly, he watched her stumble on the last step and then almost run into her uncle's study.

She was engaged? The woman he'd spent almost all of his waking moments thinking about was going to marry another man? This couldn't be happening. Surely providence couldn't be so cruel as to let him find her only to laugh in his face and snatch her away from his grasp once again…could it?

Apparently, it could. And had. And it hurt like hell.
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Giles sat down at his desk while Elizabeth picked up phone to speak to her future brother-in-law. "Hi Connor it's Elizabeth, is anything wrong?"

"Hey Buffy, no, nothing's wrong. I've just spoken with your uncle and he's agreeable but thought that I should ask you too," the young man said.

Grimacing at the use of her childhood name, Elizabeth prompted, "Ask me what?"

"Well, my folks are coming over for a visit in a couple of months and they want to spend time in and around London. I've asked Mr. Giles if they could possibly stay with you for a few days and he said yes as long as you're okay with it because it would mean extra work for you." He gave her a nervous chuckle. "I mean, feel free to say no if it's going to be too much trouble."

Trouble? Elizabeth almost laughed out loud herself. No, it was no trouble. Trouble was the man she'd left standing on the stairs. Trouble was blue eyes staring at you in a mixture of shock and anger as they tried to assimilate the most awful lie you'd ever told in your entire life.

"No," she heard herself say. "It won't be any trouble. Just let me have the dates and I'll get everything ready."

They spent another couple of minutes exchanging information and pleasantries; Dawn was apparently out shopping with her future mother-in-law and then, conscious of the cost of the international call and that William was still waiting she said her goodbyes.

She told Giles the dates, knowing full well the man would forget and he, in turn, asked that Elizabeth tell William that once he'd settled in he was welcome to join him in the lounge so they could have a small drink before dinner.

Elizabeth nodded then left the study and paused as she pulled the door shut behind her. Taking a deep steadying breath, she noticed that William still stood in the exact same spot where she'd left him and walked slowly over. "Sorry about that," manners compelled her to mumble as she climbed the stairs to where he was waiting.

"Sod that," he growled tersely. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were engaged?"

"You never asked," she retorted, walking past him and continuing up. An unexpectedly grim silence followed her statement and Elizabeth knew he was trying to contain his anger.

"I see," he finally said as he began trailing after her. "So…where is he?"

"He had to go back to America," she replied, glad that he couldn't see her face as she made up the blatant untruths. "We're childhood sweethearts and he visits as often as he can." She stopped talking and grimaced, wondering if it sounded as pathetic to him as it did to her own ears.

"And I suppose it's because he wasn't available that you made love with me instead, is that it?" William asked in a deceptively mild tone.

They were outside his room now and Elizabeth stopped, wishing she could find a way to end this awful ordeal. Keeping her face averted, she tried to give a nonchalant shrug but it ended up looking nothing more than awkward. "I…I suppose I was just missing him so much that…well…you were there…you know…convenient…"

"Convenient?!" William hissed furiously, the fragile control he'd attained snapping in two. "That's all I was? Convenient? "

"I…I…" Elizabeth stuttered, taking an involuntary step back in the face of his wrath.

"No, just let me get this straight," William said, raising his hand in a gesture to stop her talking. "You had an itch you needed attending to and because your honey was across the pond, you decided to use me as the scratching post instead…that about it?"

When he put it like that, she could see how insulting her thoughtless words must have appeared to him but there was no going back now. "Yes…that's right," she agreed, forcing out a strained laugh.

William's eyes narrowed at her answer and he felt his anger drain away to be replaced by the sound of alarm bells going off in his brain. Something wasn't right here. Whatever that night was, it wasn't purely about sexual gratification…he was certain of that, if nothing else in this confusing mess. So why would she agree that it was?

Deciding to try a different tact, William produced a semblance of a smile and took a step towards her, ignoring the dart of hurt that shot through him when she instinctively stepped back a pace as well. "Well, I'm glad I was there to help you out, luv," he said, deliberately lowering his voice to a seductive drawl. "Tell me, was I a good substitute for your one true love? I'd hate to have not come up to…scratch."

Elizabeth was caught off balance by his sudden turnaround of moods and blinked at him in confusion. Did he really want an answer to that question? By the expectant look on his face…yes, he did!

"Uh…yeah…you were…it was…great," she spluttered out, looking away as she felt the colour rise betrayingly in her cheeks again. There was an odd quality to his silence that unnerved her but she refused to look up to find out why. Deciding that now was the best time to escape, she went to move past him but found herself brought to a halt as William reached out and grabbed her arm. Automatically, she looked up and found herself mere inches from his face.

"Tell me something," he enquired softly. "Is there any chance that you'll be missing your fiancé while I'm staying here? Because if there is…" He broke off and gave her a smirk, rolling his tongue up behind his teeth and leaving her in doubt of what he was proposing.

This is what she'd been dreading. What she'd desperately tried to protect herself against ever since the moment he'd entered her uncle's house. And it was far worse than anything she'd ever envisioned. The humiliation and hurt poured through her like burning acid. Going white with shock and pain, Elizabeth wrenched her arm from his grasp and glared at him in anger.

"No!" she gasped wretchedly. "What took place that night, took place…but I want you to know that I won't let it happen again, William. You might make a habit of indulging in one night stand's, but I don't!"

"Because you're in love with your fiancé," he commented impassively, seemingly not all fazed by her outburst.

The mention of her bogus fiancé threw her for a moment, but then, as she remembered, she quickly said, "Yes…No…I mean, I wouldn't have casual sex even if I weren't engaged…" She stopped and bit her bottom worriedly before closing her eyes and letting out a deep sigh. Suddenly, she felt completely drained. Opening her eyes, she resolutely met his gaze. "Look, I can't explain why that night happened. I…" she paused then shook her head and gave him a helpless shrug of her shoulders silently pleading with him to help her out.

"You were missing your fiancé, you were lonely…confused…" William offered in a soft, almost reassuring tone. He drew in a breath and gave her a small smile. "So, tell me about him. What does he look like?"

Elizabeth frowned slightly. What did Connor look like? "Um…well…he's really tall…dark brown hair…" she began to stammer awkwardly.

William heaved an internal sigh of relief as she spoke. At least it didn't sound as if he looked anything like the absent twit. "You'll have to show me a photograph," he interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore about the other man.

"A photograph?" Elizabeth repeated weakly.

William shrugged, feeling a sudden urge for a smoke. Pity he was trying to give up. "So I can recognise him if I happen to meet him."

"No…no, you won't," Elizabeth hastily assured him only to tense when he suddenly released her arm to take hold of her left hand.

Raising it up between them, he stared at her fingers then lifted his curious gaze to hers. "You don't wear his ring," he observed quietly.

Tugging her hand from his grasp, Elizabeth's face began to redden as her eyes darted away from his. Oh God! A ring! This was a nightmare! Think, think, think!

"Well, there hasn't been time," she heard herself say. "We only told my parents a little while ago then Connor had to go home and tell his parents. No one else knows…not even Uncle Rupert," she quickly added as an afterthought, not wanting to consider the mess she'd be in if the older man got involved.

"So, he's gone home to tell his parents…without you?" William clarified dubiously. The more she was saying about her fiancé, the more he didn't like the man one bit.

Elizabeth fought the urge to groan aloud as she felt the mother of all headaches begin to pound. Why did he keep asking all these questions, pushing her, forcing her to tell more and more lies?

"I have to be here for Uncle Rupert's book, so I really couldn't go," she excused feebly. Taking another step back, she gestured towards the stairs. "I really have to go and make a start on dinner. Uncle Rupert said you can join him in the lounge for a drink when you're ready."

William tutted and shook his head making her falter and look back over her shoulder at him. "Such reluctance to talk about the man you love," he goaded softly. "Newly engaged too. Most women wouldn't be able to contain themselves."

Elizabeth drew herself up and graced him with a cold look, the distance between them making her feel suddenly bold. "I'm not most women," she retorted curtly then hurried away down the stairs before he could say anything more.

"No," William agreed under his breath as he watched her walk away. "You definitely aren't."

Once Elizabeth was out of sight, he entered his room, took off his duster and flopped down backwards onto the bed. Rubbing his hands over his face, he then let his arms splay out to the sides and stared up at the cream coloured ceiling.
What the hell was he going to do?

Sighing, he shook his head, trying to sort out the jumbled complexity of his thoughts and feelings. He knew he was in serious danger of falling completely in love with a woman he'd only met once. A woman who was in love with and engaged to another man. A woman who had given herself to him so sweetly and eagerly that the memory of how she felt in his arms still had the power to stir both his senses and his body.

In hindsight, it was easy to see why she'd been so remote back then and even more so today. She was scared that this fiancé of hers would discover what she'd done…assuming he knew she was a virgin of course. He frowned. She had agreed to his suggestion that he was as good a lover as her boyfriend, but that was obviously a lie.

And as for that fiancé of hers…was the bloke such a complete git that he couldn't tell how much she needed him? Didn't he realise how easily he could lose her? Didn't the prat care?

Obviously not.

God, the burke was an idiot. If it were him…he stopped that thought and grimaced slightly; it wasn't him though, was it? Although…

Fate had thrown them together once and now it had decided to do so again. That had to mean something, right? Was it really a deliberate self-deception on his part to let himself think that two such accidental meetings must be more than coincidence, that maybe…maybe what?

That Buffy would break off her engagement and turn to him?

It surprised him just how much that thought pleased him. How much he wanted to hold her again, to love her. It wouldn't be too hard. He knew she wasn't as immune to him as she tried to pretend. A brief touch here, an inadvertent bumping into her there…

Abruptly, William sat up wondering what on earth was happening to him. He knew first hand what it felt like to be cheated on by the woman you loved and here he was admitting that he wanted a woman who'd knowingly slept with him while engaged to someone else. He ought to despise her, not want her.

Perhaps if she wasn't engaged. But she was and now he knew, he just had to put her out of his mind as best he could. And yet…even though she was committed to her fiancé emotionally, she certainly wasn't committed sexually.

No, sexually, she'd turned to him as a substitute for her fiancé. The fiancé she claimed was already her lover…but he knew different. If she lied about that, didn't it follow that she may have lied about the reasons for making love to him?

Realising the ridiculousness of his last thought, William let out a derisive chuckle and shook his head at what a ponce he was. He was clutching at straws, looking for something that didn't exist…not on her part, at least.

And yet…she'd seemed to be so different. In her arms, she'd made him feel…feel what? That their coming together, unconventional and reckless though it might have been, had been brought about by a force too strong for either of them to resist?

William let out a sigh and stood up. Walking over to window, he came to a halt and looked out of the wild tangle of the garden below. All this time he'd been kidding himself. Daydreams…fantasies…all made up by the burgeoning re-emergence of the young romantic poet he'd once been and had buried deep inside after Dru's betrayal. Well, he'd not listen to him anymore.

If he'd thought there was something special, something rare, something to be treasured about what they'd shared, then she'd not felt the same way. For her, he'd been convenient…a substitute.

Funny how that knowledge seemed to hurt a damn sight more than when he'd found out about Drusilla. And funny how after everything he'd discovered since seeing Buffy again, he still wanted her. More than anything. Fiancé and principles be damned.

TBC IN CHAPTER 8
 

CHAPTER 8 - Confessions Of A Guilty Mind

Elizabeth hurried down the stairs as quickly as her shaky legs could carry her. Upon reaching the last step, she stopped then leaned heavily against the banister post as she drew in deep ragged breaths. Had William really thought that she would be willing to enter into a casual sexual liaison with him? Oh God!

Hot, shaming colour stung her face and her hands trembled as she pushed away from the post and started to walk. Naively, she'd thought that once she knew she wasn't pregnant, there would be nothing further to worry about. How wrong she'd been.

Bitterly, she wondered what her uncle would say if he knew the truth about the man who he'd welcomed into his house. How many other women out there had William shared similar encounters with before her?

The thought made nausea burn in her throat but it was no use trying to convince herself that she was an innocent victim in all this. She'd gone into his arms willingly so it was no wonder that he'd assume she'd readily do so again.

It was her own fault that he had drawn the wrong conclusions about her and if she hadn't protected herself by saying that Connor was her fiancé...

She grimaced as her conscience niggled at her about that deceit, but what choice did she have? Even so, the look of shock and bitterness in his eyes as she'd announced her fake engagement had momentarily caught her off guard, making her wonder if, after all...

No! It was just anger at being used, she saw there, not the possibility that he'd felt the same about that night as she had and was hurt at the thought of her being engaged. His subsequent words and actions had proved that.

Entering the kitchen where Willow was still preparing the vegetables, she immediately walked over to a chair and gratefully sank down onto it before her legs finally gave out.

"Hey," Willow began brightly then stopped, her smile fading as she turned and saw how pale and shaken Elizabeth looked. "Are you okay?" she asked in concern. Putting down a knife and half-chopped carrot, she picked up a tea towel and wiped her hands as she moved over to her friend. "Elizabeth?" the redhead pressed as she placed a hand on her friend's shoulder and dropped the towel onto the table.

Elizabeth lifted her dazed eyes to Willow's, her reeling mind suddenly becoming focussed as she looked back into the concerned face of her friend before finally deciding to take the redhead up on the offer to talk...no matter how hard it was going to be.

"It's him," Elizabeth suddenly croaked out.

"Him?" the redhead repeated with a puzzled frown. "Him, who?"

"Him...William," the blonde replied, looking back down at the table.

"William? But I don't know...wait...he's the reason you've been with the vague-y-ness lately, isn't he?" Willow suddenly guessed intuitively. "Did you meet him at your mom's?"

"I...oh God," Elizabeth groaned, leaning her elbows on the table and letting her head drop into her hands. "This is terrible."

Willow stared down at her obviously distraught friend and quickly made a decision. Turning away, she closed the kitchen door to allow them some privacy then made them both a hot drink. Placing the steaming mug in front of Elizabeth, who had yet to raise her head, Willow then sat down on the chair opposite. Cradling her own mug of tea in her hands, the redhead quietly said, "Go ahead, Elizabeth, I'm listening."

After a few seconds, Elizabeth slowly lifted her head and let her hands drop to the table. Taking in a deep breath, she forced herself to look at the redhead and saw nothing but compassion staring back at her. Shaking her head, she mirrored Willow's stance and wrapped her hands around her own mug. "I don't know where to start," she admitted softly.

"The beginning is always pretty good," Willow offered with an encouraging smile.

Elizabeth nodded then took a sip of her drink before letting out another heavy sigh. She was silent for a few more seconds, trying to gather the courage to tell her friend about the night she and William had met. Hesitatingly, she began to talk, hoping that by the end of her confession, Willow wouldn't condemn her for behaving in such an irresponsible and wanton way.

She explained her journey home, the snow, the crash, William's arrival, her misleading introduction and their getting caught in the snow-drift. She averted her gaze then, a blush coming over her skin as she lightly skimmed over the details of their sharing a sleeping bag and the consummation of their overwhelming passion followed by the devastating morning after when he'd resumed his cold treatment of her once more.

Pushing on past the hurt that still accompanied thoughts of that morning, Elizabeth told of her shock at finding out that William was in fact the colleague of her uncle that was going to stay and the heated conversation they'd had on the stairs before being interrupted by Connor's call. Elizabeth then reddened more and stared down at her cup of cooling tea as she admitted to panicking and appropriating her sister's fiancé in the hope's of putting him off, only to then have William shockingly proposition her anyway.

When Elizabeth finished speaking, Willow stared at her friend's downbent head in silence as she tried hard to assimilate everything the blonde had told her. She should be shocked...well...more shocked than she actually was. After all, her normally reserved friend had just told her that she'd given her virginity away to a complete stranger. Shocking, yes...and definitely not the Elizabeth she knew but, the way she'd described it, the pull had been bigger than both of them. It was kind of romantic in a way, although she doubted whether her friend would see it like that, especially since she'd seemed so disgusted with herself.

Willow sighed. Being with Oz had taught her exactly how strong attraction could be. She hadn't wanted to fall in love with anyone else after Xander but she had. Almost immediately. Yes, she'd resisted but ultimately, her feelings were too strong. But that was because they were in love.

Her gaze sharpened on the young woman in front of her at that thought and she pursed her lips in contemplation. Surely Elizabeth must have had feelings for William to have given him her virginity, didn't she? Feelings that, by the way she was acting, she was trying hard to deny which was how she'd managed to get herself into a right old pickle. Lies never solved anything as far as she was concerned but she understood that Elizabeth was only trying to protect herself the best way she could...whatever way she could.

Still, if he was as cold and calculating as she was saying, then it was no wonder. He'd already hurt her so it wouldn't do to get involved with a man like that, it'd only end up in more heartbreak for her. Best that she avoid him as much as she could which was no doubt going to prove difficult when they were living under the same roof.

She sighed again. Why did Elizabeth have to have such awful luck with men? She was such a nice person and good friend, it just didn't seem fair that she was treated this way.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Elizabeth asked quietly breaking into the redhead's musings.

Realising that she still hadn't made any comment on what Elizabeth had told her, the redhead gave herself a sharp mental reprimand for letting the blonde worry like that.

"I'm just trying to take everything in, Willow replied honestly. She saw the trepidation in her friend's face and sighed. "Look, Elizabeth," she began, reaching out to place a comforting hand on the blonde's arm. "I'm not going to judge you." Some of the worry dissipated from her friends features and Willow continued, "Sometimes things just happen and we don't know why but that doesn't make them wrong. I mean, yeah okay, maybe not so bright to tell an outright lie just now, but if it felt right for you to be with William that night a few weeks ago, then it was."

Elizabeth relaxed slightly and felt a wave of relief wash over her at Willow's kind words. Why hadn't she told her before now?

"Thanks Will," Elizabeth, patting her friends hand before she removed it from her arm.

The redhead shrugged and then leaned forward a little with half a smile. "I just want to add that if he can't see what a great person you are, then William's a poophead," she said, trying to diffuse the situation slightly while letting Elizabeth know she was okay with what she'd revealed.

Elizabeth huffed out a pained chuckle and looked heavenwards as if in hope of finding divine intervention. "Oh God, this is such a mess!" she exclaimed in frustration. "Why me? Loads of women do this kind of thing all the time with no problems but the one time I do it, he turns up unannounced on my doorstep expecting it to happen again."

"But you've told him it won't," Willow reminded her firmly. "Plus, engaged now...so he thinks...and he knows you don't like him so I doubt he'll bother you anymore. He was just taking advantage of the situation and now that's the end of it." The redhead paused then added softly, "Right?"

Elizabeth lowered her gaze and stared back at her friend. "Yeah, you're right, Will," she agreed quietly and gave the redhead a tremulous smile. "That's the end of it."

Not completely convinced but not wanting to force the issue, Willow smiled back then gave a nod as she got up. "Tell you what, I'll give Oz a call and cancel tonight so that I can stay for dinner and keep you company."

"Oh no," Elizabeth began but her friend waved her protestations aside and headed out of the kitchen.

"I won't be a minute."

Elizabeth stared after her then closed her eyes and murmured, "That's the end of it." With a sigh, her lids lifted and she stared blankly at the opposite wall. "So why does it feel like its just beginning?"

xxxxxxxx

William retrieved his cases and took them up to his room then methodically unpacked his clothes and put them away. Mindful that he was to meet Giles in the lounge for a drink, he decided to freshen up first before heading down.

Picking up a folded towel that lay on the foot of his bed, he opened the door then looked out and studied the three other doors that lined the hallway trying to guess which one was the bathroom. Discounting the door to his left, he hazarded that one of the two doors on his right was probably the one he was looking for.

He tried the first door and it opened to reveal what was obviously a female bedroom. No doubt it was Buffy's...no, Elizabeth's...he had to remember that was her name now. Cream and soft rose colours prevailed as his gaze swept over the tidy room until it came to rest on the bed that sat against the far wall. It was big. Far too big for someone as tiny as her, all alone. She must get lost in it at times.

A smile quirked at his lips at that thought but it quickly faded when he was assailed by a picture of her laying entangled in the sheets next to her faceless fiancé, soft light glinting off of her naked curves and a satisfied smile gracing her face in the obvious afterglow of lovemaking.

He abruptly closed the door with a slam, shutting out the sight of her bed and briefly closed his eyes as he tried to rid himself of the torturous vision. Emitting a low growl of aggravation, he turned away then stalked up to the other door and was relieved to find that when he opened this one, the bathroom greeted his gaze.

Going in, he turned the lock then dropped the towel on top of the toilet and turned to the basin. Stripping off his shirt, he turned on the cold water tap then cupped his hands under the steady stream and splashed the refreshing fluid over his face. After repeating the action another couple of times, he switched off the tap then rested his hands on the basin and stared at himself in the mirror.

Unfortunately, he couldn't wash away the vision of Elizabeth in her bed as easily as he could the surface grime of the day.

Droplets of water rolled down his face clinging to his nose and chin before dripping into the basin, his neatly styled hair now curling slightly from where water had splashed up during his wash. Pain filled blue eyes looked back at him and he sighed before pushing away from the basin and picking up the towel. Roughly drying his face, he then put his shirt back on and smoothed down his curls as best he could before leaving the bathroom and going back to his room.

Draping the towel over a warm radiator to dry, he then decided to head downstairs to meet with Giles. He toyed with the idea of trying to talk to the older man about Elizabeth's fiancé but he didn't know how he was going to bring the other man up in conversation without getting asked some questions he'd rather not answer. Plus, Elizabeth said that her uncle didn't know yet. It would hardly gain him any points if he blabbed anything to Giles behind her back. No, best not say anything himself and just wait and see if Giles did. Unlikely, but he had no other option for now.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Giles happened to exit his study and after a brief hello, led William to the lounge. It was a tastefully decorated room that was large enough to accommodate the dining table at the far end.

William noticed that it was already set up for dinner and that there were four places. Frowning slightly, he wondered who else would be there and for a horrible fleeting moment thought it would be Elizabeth's fiancé until he remembered that he was in America...stupid twit.

"Whisky?" Giles suddenly asked, holding up a bottle of twenty-one year old Glenfiddich Gran Reserva.

William let out a low appreciative whistle then walked over and nodded. "Expensive," he commented, impressed.

"Well, it is a special occasion," Giles replied with a smile as he poured some of the drink into a crystal tumbler and handed it over to William. "It's not every day that one of my ex-pupil's takes over a Chair at Cambridge."

"Yes, well, thank you for recommending me," the younger man replied, taking the glass and holding it up to Rupert in salute. "Cheers."

"Cheers," Giles echoed then took a sip of the amber liquid and closed his eyes enjoying the feel of the smooth alcohol slide down his throat. "Wonderful."

"Very nice," William agreed.

They shared a satisfied smile then the younger man gestured to the table. "There someone else coming to dinner?"

Giles nodded. "Elizabeth's friend, Willow, will be joining us tonight. Lovely girl."

Just then, they heard the sound of a door opening at the other end of the room and saw Elizabeth emerge from what William surmised was a second door to the kitchen and walk over to the table carrying a bowl of steaming boiled potatoes and one of carrots. She placed them on the white tablecloth then after a brief glance in William's direction, she ducked her head and left the room for more dishes.

"Ah, looks like dinner's ready," Giles stated as he gestured over to the table. "Shall we sit down?"

William nodded and they sat on opposite sides of the table facing each other. This time when the door opened, both Elizabeth and Willow entered carrying trays that had pork chops, peas, cauliflower and gravy on them. They placed the food on the table and received murmurs of appreciation from the two men.

Studiously avoiding William's gaze, Elizabeth was undecided on where to sit. Willow, seeing her dilemma, took the seat next to William and Elizabeth shot her a grateful look before sitting next to her uncle. It wasn't until she looked up and locked eyes with William that she realised that it maybe it would've been wiser to sit next to him where she would've been able to avoid his intense gaze.

Swallowing hard, she looked down and numbly began passing the dishes around when her uncle told everyone to help themselves. She heard Giles introduce Willow and William's courteous greeting that followed and mentally sighed as she felt the pressure begin to rise behind her lids indicating the mother of all headaches was on its way. Again.

Keeping her eyes firmly down, she tried concentrating on her food but, in her highly strained state, everything tasted like cardboard. Pushing the food around her plate, she absently listened to the conversation that carried on around her.

William and Giles talked about work and, upon Willow's enquiry, she discovered that it was her uncle who had put William forward for the job. He was very young to take on such a distinguished position and Elizabeth realised that, whatever his morals may be, he obviously had a brilliant mind.

As the chat flowed, she became aware that William showed amazing tact when dealing with her uncle, allowing him to speak and not seeming to mind if the older man dominated the conversation. He was also surprisingly modest. Most of Giles' colleagues tended to brag about themselves whereas William was markedly reserved, even going so far as to downplay his achievements.

Glancing at her uncle, she realised that she hadn't seen him look so animated for ages. Not being his intellectual equal, Giles rarely spoke of his work in any great detail to her, so it was nice to see him looking so happy now that he had someone with whom he could.

Chancing a look at William, she noted that there was no hint of boredom on the younger man's face. Instead, he regarded Giles with a respect and understanding that made something inside her contract achingly as though somebody had touched a sensitive spot.

She quelled the feeling immediately and unhappily pondered the question that if William had to reappear in her life, why did he have to show her this mature, nice side of his personality and make it so hard for her to actively dislike him?

She pouted slightly and cast a slightly disgruntled look at her redheaded friend. Even Willow seemed to like him, sitting there happily contributing to the conversation and giving him a friendly smile.

Suddenly, the whole scenario of William just sitting there eating and chatting with her friend and family as if he hadn't a care in the world so soon after completely upsetting hers became too much for her to bear. Standing abruptly, she clumsily knocked against the table rattling her cutlery and causing all conversation to cease as everyone turned to look at her in surprise, almost as if they forgot she was there.

That thought was the icing on the crumbling cake and she looked away mumbling something about doing some work on her uncle's notes. Picking up her plate of barely touched food, she put it on a nearby tray then gathered together the empty dishes and put them on as well.

Sensing Elizabeth's unease, Willow also clambered up and began to help her friend, placing her plate of half eaten food on the other tray. They turned to the door then Elizabeth's heart rate sped up as she saw William also stand then walk over to the door and courteously open it up so that they could go through unhindered.

Swallowing hard, she watched him smile at Willow as she walked passed, then forced herself to move, her heart thumping harder with each step. As she neared, she saw him take a step forward and fought against the impulse to run straight past and slam the door behind her.

He wouldn't try anything would he? Not here. Not in front of her uncle. Oh God...

His hand wrapped gently around her arm sending a surge of awareness through her that twisted her stomach up in knots of frightened acknowledgement of how much his touch affected her. He remained silent until she dragged her gaze up to meet his and drew in a sharp breath at what she saw in his eyes. It was as though he was looking through to her very soul and seeing what only she had the right to know lay there; as if he had confronted her mentally and emotionally in silent demand that she acknowledge her reaction to him.

"Thank you for dinner, Elizabeth. It was wonderful," he quietly complimented with a sincere smile.

The blonde blinked back at him in surprise. That was the last thing she had expected to hear. "You're welcome," she mumbled before looking away and moving forward. William immediately let go of her arm and she couldn't help but feel bereft at the loss of his touch. She heard the door shut with a quiet click behind her and exhaled sharply as she put the tray down on the table with a thud.

Her heart flipped madly as she recalled the look in his eyes and she clamped her mouth tightly shut in order to contain the panicked bubble of laughter that begged for release.

It was ironic really. If they hadn't already met and she didn't know exactly what kind of man William was, just by listening and watching him tonight she would've been in grave danger of falling for him...big time.

But the difference was that they had met and she did know him, therefore she'd ever allow herself fall in love with a man like that.

No way.

No how.

Not even if, deep down, her heart knew what her brain refused to acknowledge...that it was already too late.
 

TBC IN CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9 - Building Up the Walls

"You okay?" Willow asked as she walked over to her friend and came to a stop by her side.

Elizabeth looked up and nodded. "Yeah, it's...just for a minute there, I couldn't take anymore, you know?"

"I know," the redhead assured her with a smile. Picking up the tray Elizabeth had put down, she took it over to the sink then began rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

The blonde went over to help and glanced over at her friend. "So, what did you think of him? You seemed to get on well," she commented unable to keep the slightly accusing tone out of her voice.

Willow sighed. "To be honest, Elizabeth, if you hadn't told me anything about him before hand, I'd say he was a pretty nice guy," she told her honestly.

The blonde nodded. "If I didn't already know him, I'd have to agree," she admitted quietly. "But it's all fake. He was just being nice because of Uncle Rupert and you. I know the real William."

The redhead turned to look at her friend with a slight frown. "Are you sure?"

The blonde bristled slightly at her friends' tone. "After what he said to me this afternoon? I think the answer to that question is obvious, Will," she said, anger darkening her eyes slightly. "And I'd rather not talk about him any more thank you very much."

She turned away and Willow stared at her friend's rigid back in silence. Intuition told her that William wasn't really a bad guy but she knew that Elizabeth wasn't in any state of mind to hear that kind of opinion at the moment. It would be better to leave things for now and see how they go. If William was a horrible person then he'd show his real colours soon enough. Until then, she'd reserve judgement and be the supportive friend she should be.

"Okay, I'm sorry, Elizabeth," Willow said quietly. "I won't say another word."

Elizabeth turned back and bit her lip as she watched the redhead close the dishwasher door and hit the button to begin the cycle. "No, Will, I'm the one that should be saying sorry. I had no right to snap at you like that. I'm just...I'm kind of all over the place at the moment, you know?"

The redhead sighed then nodded and returned Elizabeth's tentative smile with a reassuring one of her own. "Don't worry, everything will be fine, just wait and see. And don't forget that I'm here for you no matter what, okay?"

"Thanks Will, you're the bestest friend ever," Elizabeth said as she stepped forward and pulled her friend into a hug.

"I know," the redhead replied and both girls giggled as they broke apart, the tenseness of moments before forgotten.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal William who entered carrying his and Giles' empty plates. Immediately the relaxed air changed to an almost tangible tension that had him freeze in his tracks. Knowing he was the cause, he swallowed down his frustration and adopted an impassive mask as he strolled over to the table and put down the plates. "Rupert wants some coffee. Is it okay if I go ahead and make some?" he asked, taking a step towards the kettle.

"No!" Elizabeth said sharply, causing him to stop and look over at her. Clearing her throat nervously as his questioning gaze settled on her, Elizabeth glanced over at Willow and then back at William. The last thing she needed right now was to have him standing about the kitchen with them. He'd be so close. Too close.

"I...I mean, Uncle Rupert doesn't like instant...he only drinks filter. I'll make it and bring it in before I go up," she told him awkwardly. "You go back and talk to Uncle Rupert. I'm sure there's a lot you have to discuss."

For a minute William looked as if he might object and insist on doing it himself but then he merely shrugged and gave a brief nod of assent before leaving the room.

Elizabeth let out a relieved sigh and Willow walked over to the filter machine. "Don't worry, I'll do it," she offered, seeing how pale her friend had gone.

"No Will, it's okay. I'll be fine," Elizabeth said with a grateful smile. "You go home and call Oz. Maybe you can salvage the rest of the evening instead of wasting time here. I mean, it's just coffee...nothing's going to happen with my uncle there and then I'll go straight upstairs."

The redhead's eyes brightened at the thought of seeing her fiancé and Elizabeth felt a pang of guilt that she hadn't insisted that Willow go before.

"Are you sure?" Willow asked hopefully, torn between wanting to spend some time with Oz and leaving her friend when she was so obviously rattled.

"Positive," Elizabeth assured her. "Now go. And thanks for everything tonight."

Willow gave the blonde a hug and said goodnight then went through to the dining room and bade farewell to Giles and William before leaving.

Ten minutes later, Elizabeth had made the coffee and, after taking a deep calming breath, went through to the dining room. The men were deep in conversation but as soon as William noticed her, he stood up to take the tray from her hands. Their fingers brushed and Elizabeth instinctively jerked her hand away which caused the crockery to rattle violently on the tray and a spoon to fall onto the table and bounce over to where her uncle sat.

He picked it up and eyed it with a frown then raised his gaze to his niece. "Elizabeth are you feeling quite well? You appear to be a trifle clumsy tonight," he stated in concern.

Elizabeth's eyes widened. "I...I'm fine," the blonde lied. "Just a little tired, I guess." She glanced at William who regarded her a knowing look and slight smile.

"Well, perhaps you'd do better to leave the book tonight and go straight to bed, my dear," her uncle suggested.

"I think I will," agreed Elizabeth, turning to go. "Night."

"Goodnight Elizabeth," said William in a husky voice that had her pausing and turning to look at him.

"Goodnight William," she murmured in response then hurried out of the room and up the stairs.

Once in her room, she grabbed her nightgown and robe then went next door into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, she re-emerged tightly clutching the robe around her and walked back to her room. She could hear her uncle and William still talking and thought how indicative it was of the differing attitudes between men and women after spending the night together. Here she was agonising over the incident ever since she'd first seen William that afternoon and there he was apparently having no problem in dismissing the whole thing from his mind and spending the evening chatting with her uncle in complete relaxation and enjoyment.

Life was really unfair at times.

She got into bed and let out a long sigh then closed her eyes hoping that she'd soon drift off into slumber. Fifteen minutes later, she opened them again and angrily turned on her stomach, trying to dismiss the foreign emotions and feelings that were crowding her brain and body.

She didn't want William here, invading her life, disturbing her peace, making her tell lies. She didn't want him reminding her of what she'd done and most of all, she didn't want him here because of the way he made her feel...about herself...about him.

'You're a fool,' she told herself with derision. A fool because she'd broken all her own rules and beliefs when she'd had a fleeting moment of panic that life was passing her by. And then, to compound her folly, she'd weaved idiotic and impossible dreams of 'what if's' and 'maybes' so that when she'd been confronted by the reality of him, he had easily torn through the thin shrouds of self-protection she'd cloaked herself and her actions in. Every romantic illusion she'd fooled herself with had been stripped away by his careless assumption that she would be happy to indulge in a meaningless affair.

She'd been shocked, not only because of how much it'd hurt but also because she'd realised just how far she'd allowed herself to travel down the road of disillusionment. It was a sobering insight that she knew she wouldn't forget in a long while.

The stairs creaked and she cursed herself for automatically lifting her head to hear better. The sound of footsteps on the staircase and along the landing was followed by a muffled goodnight spoken between the two men and she lay her head down again when the doors to their respective rooms opened and closed.

Turning onto her back, she felt an odd unfamiliar strand of sensation wend its way through her body and with a horrified gasp she suddenly realised what it was...

Disappointment!

A sharp dart of self-disgust coiled through her system and she numbly shook her head in a vain attempt to dispel the feeling. How could she be disappointed that he'd gone straight to bed for heaven's sake? She certainly didn't want him to just casually walk in and...and what? Demand that she sleep with him?

The thought sent a shiver of desire through her body that had her vigorously plumping up her pillows and turning back onto her front. Burying her face into the soft down, she determinedly ignored the tingling ache that now radiated from her core and tried to relax.

It was a long time before she got to sleep that night.

xxxxxxxxx

William pulled the covers up to his chest then let out a long sigh as he thought of Elizabeth lying in her big bed all alone in the next room. It had been an extremely draining day where his emotions had risen and fallen as if he were on a huge roller coaster. The joy he'd felt at seeing her again had been nothing compared to the depths of despair he'd sunk to upon learning of her engagement.

He turned his head and stared into the darkness at the wall that separated their rooms. She was there. Just a few feet away. He could be in her room and filling both that ridiculous bed and her in mere seconds if he wanted to...but he didn't. He wouldn't. Not until she admitted something special had happened between them that night. That she wanted him as much as he wanted her. That she felt...something for him. And she would. He was determined and...and...painfully hard, he realised ruefully.

"Wonderful," he muttered morosely to himself as he contemplated the option of relieving himself but rejected it almost immediately. Wouldn't do to mess up the sheets and he couldn't take the chance that either Rupert or Elizabeth wouldn't decide to use the bathroom just as he walked out into the hallway. Would be a little difficult to explain away his obvious arousal.

Sitting up, he twisted his torso then punched the pillows in frustration and turned over onto his front. Burying his face in the soft down, he simultaneously ground his pelvis into the mattress in an attempt to relieve his aching member and let out a low groan.

It was a long time before he got to sleep that night.

xxxxxxxxx

The next morning, Elizabeth entered the kitchen wearing her usual attire of jeans and loose blouse. Fastening her hair into a ponytail, she walked over to the fridge and got out some eggs and milk.

When she'd awoken that morning, Elizabeth had decided that her behaviour the day before could be excused because of her surprise at William's unexpected appearance. Today however, today she was in control, prepared and very, very determined to stand up to anything he said or did. He was just another colleague of her uncle's and she would treat him as such. Cool politeness was the way to go...nothing more.

The sound of the back door opening had her head snap around in surprise. Uncle Rupert never beat her downstairs, which could only mean...

"Good morning," William greeted amiably as he closed the door behind him.

Cool politeness. Cool politeness. "Morning," she replied forcing herself to look at him while inwardly cringing at the breathiness of her tone.

They stared at each other for a moment. "I've just been out for a walk," he explained unnecessarily. "I couldn't sleep and the garden has been calling me since yesterday. It's bigger than I realised."

"It's a bit overgrown," Elizabeth admitted stiltedly. "I just don't get the time."

She turned away to get some mugs out of the cupboard above her head then switched on the kettle to boil. A slight noise from behind made her look over her shoulder and she was startled to see that William had moved closer to her enabling her to smell the cool sharp scent of the early morning air that clung to him from his walk.

"While I'm here, maybe I can help you work on it?" he suggested easily.

"Maybe," she muttered non-committedly before looking away again. "Breakfast won't be long if you want to go and get ready," she added in a dismissive tone, hoping he'd take the hint and leave.

William tutted. "I thought you were Rupert's assistant, not his housekeeper," he challenged, almost angrily.

She turned around to face him at that. "I enjoy looking after him," she retorted defensively, her body stiffening with resentment at all the years of listening to her parent's bewilderment at the totally alien urge to nurture that she seemed to possess. "Not everyone wants to strive for academic or material success; we don't all want to climb mountains and...and conquer the world, you know?"

William regarded her in silence. He hadn't meant to upset her with his comment, it just didn't sit well that she waited on everyone hand and foot. He suspected from the way she'd spoken though, that she was getting more off her chest than just annoyance at his observation. This had obviously been a bone of contention with someone else before now. Her fiancé perhaps? He hoped not. He'd hate to have something in common with the absent twit.

"I'm sorry," he finally replied. "If you're happy looking after the running of the house then far be it for me to say anything." He gave her a small smile. "You know, contentment is a state of mind that far too few people rarely find. Best not let go of it just because it might not be what other people expect."

Elizabeth was taken aback at his insight and looked at him warily. He seemed sincere...and suddenly even nearer than before. Without even knowing she was doing it, she leaned in closer to him until she was within touching distance. "I know how lucky I am," she said with as much dignity as she could muster.

"And does your fiancé know how lucky he is?"

The soft voiced question was as effective as having a bucket of cold water thrown over her and she immediately took a step back from him, distancing herself. When had she gotten so close? Or was it he that had moved again? She didn't know any more.

She'd been so intent on defending herself from what she'd perceived as his criticism of her way of life - the same as she'd often received from her parents in the past - that she'd completely forgotten about everything else. She stared at him speechless, unaware of the confusion that clouded her eyes and the way they flared with a sudden hint of fear as she recalled her current situation.

William's jaw tightened in irritation. What the hell was the matter with the man that he could induce such uncertainty and low self-esteem in the woman he was supposed to love? he wondered bitterly. What was their relationship based on that she felt the need to lose herself and her innocence in the arms of a stranger? Why, whenever he mentioned the prat, did she seem to tense up...what did that mean?

A cold finger of dread crawled up his spine. He couldn't be violent to her could he? It'd explain a great many things if he were. William's insides churned unpleasantly at the thought of anyone harming the petite woman in front of him and his hands curled into tight fists at his side. Unable to look at the pain in her face any longer, he abruptly turned away and tried to rein in his sudden flare of temper against a man he hoped he'd never meet.

Elizabeth watched him turn away and immediately thought that he must have somehow or other sensed that tiny betraying twist of sensation inside her. That he must have known of that ridiculous helpless yearning deep inside, compelling her to move closer to him even though she remained frozen in place, immobilised by the strength of her feelings.

"I have to get on with breakfast," she informed him curtly.

"Of course, " William agreed, throwing her a grim glance over his shoulder. "And I have to go and get changed. Rupert's coming to the University with me this morning."

She remained silent as he quickly strode out of the kitchen leaving her to sag back against the worktop behind her and fervently wish that she'd never, ever met him.

TBC IN CHAPTER 10

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