Chapter 7: In the Wee Hours of Morning

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1:30 AM - KET House/Spike’s Apartment

Spike walked out the door of the fraternity and started for home as soon as he pulled away from Buffy. He knew he was going to make a fool of himself if he stuck around any longer. He dialed Xander’s cell and left a message as he neared his place. Promising to come back in the morning to help clear out the debris, he mounted the outside stairs to his small loft apartment.

It wasn’t very big, but it worked well for him. His bed stood at the far end to the right, under a skylight that allowed him to stargaze as he waited for sleep to take him. A screen served to block the bedroom off when needed The kitchen was partitioned off by a bar which served his dining needs. Near the entrance, he’d arranged a small sitting area, complete with couch and his electronics, TV, DVD player, stereo, X-box, all the trappings of the modern man.

He had a large desk against the wall to the left, and several bookshelves of books to complete his study area and provide a place for his laptop to be set up. In the back corner, a small door led to the bathroom, the only fully enclosed room in the place. It was quite posh however, the owner had apparently found a large garden tub on sale when he was remodeling, so the spacious bathroom has a good sized tub as well as shower. All in all, he liked his little pad and thought it was pretty homey.

He flipped a lamp on as he moved around the place, tossing his jacket to the side and throwing his shirt on the couch as he pulled a beer from the refrigerator and wandered back to flop on his bed and stare at the stars. He was tired and emotionally drained from the events of the day.

He’d enjoyed being around her again, since she’d come back. It had felt like he had a piece of himself back again. He’d hung out with her that day they’d walked in on Giles and Jenny, taking her to the bookstore to help her find her books for classes. They’d deposited the books in his car, then strolled over and checked out her new dorm room, which the newly arrived RA had let them look at.

He taken her out for ice cream them, to a little roadside place not too far from the campus, that made the best butter pecan he’d ever tasted. She’d gone for the chocolate chip mint, despite his recommendation, insisting that good ice cream had to contain some chocolate. They’d bantered back and forth, just catching up and when the sun had finally begun to set, he helped her slide down from the hood she’d been sitting on.

As they’d driven back to Revello Drive, they discussed the couple they considered their parents and their lack of surprise at finding them together. Buffy explained how she’d caught Giles on multiple occasions re-reading certain letters when she’d dropped by his office, leading her to finally sneak in to discover they were letters from Jenny that he’d read until they were worn around the edges.

Spike had grinned, acknowledging that she’d been right about how quickly they had gotten back together. He told Buffy about the suspicions he’d had the year before Giles had left, with the mysterious absences by Jenny some nights he’d tried to call and the furtive glances he’d noticed when he was around. But he assumed the affair had fizzled when Giles left, so he’d figured it’d take a month or so before they were sneaking around again together.

They’d laughed about the expressions they’d seen when they’d walked in unexpectedly. Buffy had giggled that Giles looked like he might drop Jenny off his lap for a minute and they’d both come up with silly explanations they might have heard from the two to explain their position if they hadn’t come clean.

They had both been howling with laughter by the time they reached home to find a satisfied looking Jenny and Giles. They’d all gone out to eat together after that, celebrating being together again. It had been nearly a perfect day.

He hadn’t had a chance to see her much of the rest of the week. He’d been finishing up a summer research project for the professor he worked for and she’d been unpacking, sorting and catching up with old friends. He knew she and Giles had gone to L.A. to meet with the attorneys and be sure all of the funds were in order for Buffy’s education and maintenance now that she was back in the U.S. So he’d been missing her all week.

He sighed and tried to not think about Buffy as he got up to turn his laptop on and log in to check his e-mail.

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2:00 AM - Stevenson Hall

Angel turned back to Buffy as Willow entered the building, leaving them alone at last.

"So, did you have fun tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was cool. I haven’t been dancing in a while. We were so busy packing up that I didn’t get a chance to go clubbing much this past summer as we tied up the loose ends."

She sat on the steps, assuming he wanted to chat for a bit before she went in for the night. He slowly sat down on the step beneath her, close, but not quite crowding her.

"Buffy, you just looked beautiful out on the dance floor. I could have watched you all night." Angel reached gently for her hand and held it lightly, running his thumb across her palm as he gazed at her with his soulful brown eyes.

"Well thanks, Angel. That’s sweet." Buffy looked at him, still a little unsure why he was paying so much attention to her. She’d enjoyed his attentiveness tonight. He ‘d spent a lot of time at the party with her, except for his disappearance to go take care of party matters right before they’d left, while she’d dance with Spike. Spike. For a moment she found herself comparing the chocolate depths before her with the cobalt eyes that had entranced her earlier tonight. She realized she’d lost her train of thought and focused her attention back on Angel.

"I’m sorry Angel, I must be getting tired." She gave him a small smile. "Could you say that again?"

He returned her smile and resumed his stoking of her hand as he slid closer.

"I know you’ve just gotten back and you probably want to settle in. But I don’t want to wait, because I know the guys around here are going to be falling all over themselves to ask you out and I don’t want to miss my chance. Will you go out with me next Friday night?"

Buffy was amazed. This was it, what she’d been waiting for since she’d looked up into Angel’s brown eyes on his front porch as a young teenager. She must have had countless daydreams where she’d played this scenario out in her head a million different ways. Angel asking her to the movies. Angel taking her down to the pier on a gorgeous summer afternoon. Angel asking her to the prom. Angel planning a special picnic and surprising her on a moonlit night. Angel wanting her as his date for the Homecoming Dance. The variations had been endless and suddenly it was happening. Strangely she didn’t fell quite as elated as she’d always imagined but she ignored the tiny voice that commented that what looked good at thirteen didn’t always look the same at twenty, and vice versa. Angel wanted to date her. Her, little Buffy Summers. Was there even a question here?

"That would be great. Angel, I’d love to." She smiled brightly and squeezed the hand that held hers.

"Wonderful. I’ll call you this week and we’ll work out the details. Well I’d better let you get in before Willow starts to worry about you."

He stood up and pulled her with him until she was standing. He bent down and planted a soft kiss on her mouth, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

"See you on Friday, babe." He turned and sauntered off.

Buffy swiped her ID card in the door lock and entered the dorm, surprised she didn’t feel more excited. She was happy. She had a date with apparently one of the most eligible men on campus, if the jealous looks shooting her way tonight were any indication, who was also her lifelong crush.

Angel had kissed her too.

But in the back of her mind, she heard a little voice whisper, "You felt a lot more when Spike kissed you." She knew she had, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t feel that way for her. He was just being nice, like he had been that night before she left, when he gave her those little bears she still kept where she could see when she first woke up in the morning. He was probably still hung up on that Drusilla chick, or maybe had his only little honey tucked away in that bachelor pad of his. But never her. She sighed and unlocked the door to the room, prepared to dish with Willow about the Angel invite.

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2:15 AM Leaving Stevenson Hall

Angel walked quickly back towards the house. He knew there would still be some stragglers at the party, but it was fairly late and the band would be finished by now. He was glad that had worked out with Buffy. He needed to get a little more info to plan his strategy though. He pulled out his cell and dialed Cordy’s number.

"Hey babe, how’re you doing?"

"Angel. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you tonight. I saw Gina. You give her a run for her money?"

"Something like that. Listen Cordy, be a sweetie and tell me about Buffy and Willow. I need to know more about Buffy, you know, what she’s into now, that kind of thing, before Friday night. I’m taking her out."

"Angel, are you serious about her? I mean you never stay with one girl, as I well know. What makes you think Buffy’s the one?"

"Aw, Cordy, you’re not jealous are you, sweetheart? You know you’re my girl?" Angel placated as he neared her house.

"No, I’m not Angel. I know what we have and it suits us both. Good times are had by all, I will one day find my millionaire to take me out of this place and into the lap of luxury and you apparently are going after the trust fund princess. It’s too bad she doesn’t swing like Willow, I’d be tempted to see if I couldn’t convince her to be my sugar mama.

"Cordy, you just gave me a beautiful visual. It’d be even better if you’d throw Willow in the mix. A blond, a brunette and a redhead, now there is every man’s fantasy."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I don’t get your lesbian fantasies and I’m not going after Buffy. Hello, kidding! But seriously Angel. Buffy is a sweet girl and she’s my friend. I don’t want you to hurt her. And based on talking to her today, I really think fidelity is probably a huge thing for her. I mean, I know we have a thing and I don’t care if you screw around and you don’t care if I do. But she’s not going to want to be with you if you’re with other people. I’m mean you know those rumors about how her parents died, with her mom and dad in a big fight over him cheating."

She steeled herself for his protestations.

"Angel, I’m cool with you wanting to date Buffy, if you are serious about her. But much as I hate to lose a friend with benefits like yours, I’m not gonna be with you if you’re with her. And I’ll tell her if you decide to go to any of the other girls on your long-term list. Trust me Angel, your little harem is well-acquainted."

She was not surprised by the next request.

"Fine, Cordelia, you’ve made your point. But listen, will you at least come talk to me? I’m right outside your house. You know I can’t come in there with your dragon of a housemother, this late at night. Come out here and we’ll talk, please."

"Fine Angel. Let me throw something on and I’ll be out."

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2:15AM - Buffy and Willow’s Room

Buffy closed the door behind her softly, not wanting to disturb her hallmates on their first night. She wasn’t surprised to find an excited Willow bouncing on her bed.

"OK, Buffy, spill girl. Did he ask you out?"

She smiled at Willow’s enthusiasm. "Yes, he asked me out."

Before Willow could react, she threw out the next question.

"How about you, did you get any "offers" tonight? From a certain Mr. Harris, who you monopolized all evening?"

Willow blushed slightly. "Oh Buffy, it was so wonderful. I mean, Xander is like the worst dancer in the world and I know that he rubbed off on me, cause I was totally losing any sense of rhythm towards the end, too. But it was fun, even if we were cracking people up. I just missed him so much. He did mention us getting together later this week, so yeah I guess I got an offer, even if not a real official one. I couldn’t really get a read on whether it was a ‘hey old buddy, let’s hang out’ or a ‘hey pretty girl, I’d like to date you,’ you know?"

She paused for a minute and Buffy was surprised to see tears spring into Willow’s eyes.

"Buffy, I’m afraid though. I mean, he still thinks of me as sweet innocent little Willow, I think. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve done, but I’m worried how he’ll react, you know?"

"Oh Willow, are you worried he’ll be upset because you’ve been with women? I doubt that. It’ll probably be like a wet dream for him, having someone who might do a threesome with him or something. You know how guys are."

"But, Buffy that’s just it. I wouldn’t want to do that with him. I mean, you know I did a lot of experimenting that year after Tara left, while you traveled with Giles. It was good. I needed to understand who I was and explore certain parts of myself. I did do some threesomes, among other things. But they were just people looking to have fun and so was I."

Willow shifted nervously, and looked down at the tissue she was mauling in her hands, before looking Buffy squarely in the eye.

"Buffy, I think I might love Xander, in that deep down always kind of way. I even wonder if it was that thought that made Tara and I start to drift at the end there. I really loved her, but I always felt this tug, like somebody already had a piece of my heart. I don’t know for sure yet, but I know I want to find out, if he’s the one, the real deal. And I don’t want to share him with someone else, ever, not even in a game. I know that sounds kind of weird. But I don’t think I could, even if he wanted to."

She paused and wiped her eyes.

"And I don’t know if he’d even want just me. I mean, I’m afraid he’ll either be all weird about things, or he’ll be all like, let’s jump in bed. I don’t want either. I just want to get to know Xander again, see if he’s the same guy who shared crayons with me and did the Snoopy dance every Christmas. And I want to see what kind of person he’s become. I just want a chance to see if there could be something there."

Buffy reached out and pulled Willow into a tight hug.

"Sweetie, Xander seemed pretty into you tonight. I don’t know that I’d lay all that on him at once. But just be honest with him. Don’t hide what you’ve done from him, but don’t feel like he needs to know everything you’ve ever done. Willow, if Xander has any sense at all, he’ll recognize what a special person he’d be getting in you, and all you’ve become. And Xander always did seem like he had sense to me."

Willow dabbed her eyes again with the tissue she’d grabbed from her nightstand. "Sorry, Buffy, no more weeping Willow here. Thanks for the pep talk, I needed that. I’ll just be glad when we’ve aired out everything and I can see where we stand. Okay, enough about me. Tell me more about Angel. Was there kissage? Did Buffy get some smoochies?"

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2:30 AM - Outside Gamma Gamma Phi House

A few minutes later, Cordelia slipped out the side door, wearing a pair of frayed cut-offs and a worn out football jersey. He was instantly on his feet, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck.

"You look good enough to eat, Cordy, you know I live to see you in my old jerseys."

He slid his hands under to find her bare skin and quickly confirmed his suspicions that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

She pushed him back.

"Angel, what did we just discuss?"

He sighed. "I know. But I have a deal for you. Come back to the house with me and discuss it. I promise, no touching you don’t want, okay?"

"Fine. But you are driving me back here. I’m not coming three blocks this late at night by myself."

"No problem." Angel grinned. If things went as planned, he wouldn’t need to walk her back home.

They slipped round to the back of his house to avoid the remaining partygoers and made their way to the second floor by the back staircase. Once inside the room, she made herself comfy on his bed, propping herself up on his pillows, then ordering him into the desk chair.

"Buddy, I know your tricks. You are staying over there until we get this settled."

Angel inched the chair forward until he could reach her feet.

"Relax Cordy, I’m just going to give you a foot massage. No biggie. Just relax and let’s talk. I know your feet are probably killing you, after wearing those sexy heels you had on tonight."

He grinned at her as he began to slide his thumbs over her insole.

"Damn you, Angel. Never let it be said that you are not one smooth talking man. So talk already while I enjoy my foot massage. What’s your deal?"

"Well it’s like this. I figure I’m going to need to move really slowly with Buffy if this is going to be a long haul relationship, right? I want her to believe I’m serious. Hell, I am serious. I need to settle down with somebody who’ll make me a good little wife. So I don’t want to rush anything. She still acts pretty innocent to me, though you never know, who’d have guessed about Willow?"

He smirked as he pulled her a little closer to him and progressed to her calves.

"But I thinking I’m going to need to do some wooing, you know flowers, chocolate, long walks in the moonlight and gradually work into the physical stuff. She’s probably only had a few lovers, so I’ll make it all special and romantic, maybe take her away for the weekend for our ‘first time.’ But Cordy, c’mon, I’ve got needs. I don’t want to be celibate for the next few months. The way I see it, until I actually sleep with Buffy, we’re not officially together, we’re just going out and we’re not exclusive, right? I can’t cheat on her if I’m not with her yet. So until then, if I can find someone discreet…."

His hand began snaking further up her leg.

"Someone with mutual desires."

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her toe before slowly sucking on it.

"Someone who needs some release she’d rather not get all by herself."

He slowly drew her across the bed closer to him.

"Then everybody wins. I’m not cheating on Buffy, because we aren’t sleeping together. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. You know we’re good together Cordy, and I know you’ll cut me off when Buffy and I become lovers. And to sweeten the pot, I think I have the perfect guy for you to be aiming for. He’s from a wealthy family and I happen to know he just ended a long-term engagement that his parents had set up. I’ll introduce you and you can see what you can do with him. Then maybe we’ll both get what we want in the end."

"Who is he?"

Angel knew he had her then. She might be able to turn down the sex, but he knew the money would get her.

"Wesley Wyndam-Price. You know, plays tight end. He’s quiet, but a nice guy. He’s been fighting this engagement his parents wanted for a long time and he finally convinced them he would be miserable. So he’s foot loose and fancy free. And I happen to know he’s eyed a certain brunette cheerleader from afar in more than one game."

She slid closer.

"I know who he is. But he’s always seemed so standoffish. And I’d heard he was taken. Really Angel, you aren’t just saying that, he likes me?"

"I’m serious. I mentioned your name at practice the other day and you should have seen the poor guy’s face light up. I’ll set you up with, if you want. I think you’ll need to play this like I will with Buffy, though. He seems a little, I don’t know, old-fashioned or something, so I’d let him take the lead.

I think you’d do better to string him along, not jump right into bed with him, you know, the better to play the blushing future Mrs. Wyndam-Price. So here’s the deal. We’ll continue our usual arrangements, very discreetly, until we land Buffy and Wesley. Then we’ll be faithful to our new loves. That work for you?"

"Angel, sounds like a plan. Now, get over here and relieve some of this sexual tension. You have got me seriously excited about Wesley and all that money."

"No problem. How about you play the uptight prude to practice and I’ll play the gentle lover."

"Forget that and fuck me Angel, we’ll practice role-playing later."

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2:30 AM Spike’s Apartment

Spike logged off the web and shut his computer down. Still restless, he grabbed his beer and moved back to lay on his bed and stare up at the stars again. He felt edgy and out of sorts. Why had he kissed her? Well that was rhetorical. The better question was why had he left her? Where had things gone wrong today?

Moving Buffy in had been good. It was a little like old times, the guys hanging out together as they got the girls moved in. He’d been pretty up when they’d left to go finish setting up the stage for the band and ensure the kegs would come on time. He’d had all these half-formed images of the party and Buffy and what could happen.

And then he’d blown it from the start with his remarks about her outfit. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. In fact he’d been blown away when he’d seen her coming down the hallway.

He’d noticed the strappy red sandals first as she walked down the hall to him. Something about those heels made her walk with a sensual grace that he didn’t remember the seventeen year old Buffy possessing. And those straps that curled around her ankles made him want to suddenly develop a shoe fetish.

His gaze had risen to the leather pants next. They covered everything, but molded to her in all the right places. He wasn’t sure how she’d ever slithered in those things. The top that completed her come hither outfit had clung to her breasts that he could see bouncing freely beneath the light fabric. And then she’d turned around.

He knew she was right. He seen those little scraps of cloth that masqueraded as shirts on other women, and aside from an appreciative glance now and then, hadn’t thought much about them until he saw her in one. But confronted with the glorious expanse of golden skin, delicately criss-crossed with those crimson stands of silk and held together by a tiny bow, he’d suddenly felt like he was losing it.

His first impulse had been to drop to his knees and kiss every inch of that beautiful back, starting with that charming indenture at the base of her spine. Then he could use his tongue to outline every vertebrae in her spine, working his way up to that silly little bow at the top. He could take it in his teeth and pull it loose, then unlace those absurdly small strands until the scrap fell from her and he could turn her around and worship those beautiful breasts.

His second impulse was an incredible feeling of possessiveness. He didn’t want anyone else seeing her beauty and thinking those thoughts he’d just had. He realized later how strange his reaction had been, because Willow’s midriff baring top hadn’t earned a lecture nor had he felt compelled to toss a shirt over Cordelia’s equally revealing halter. He just hadn’t want to share Buffy with the rest of the world.

And so he’d lost his chance to Angel, who apparently had not made stupid remarks about her choice of attire. He hated feeling that he had to stand back and give Angel first chance. He was certain Angel didn’t really love her like he did, wouldn’t be half as good to her, even if he had seemed remotely sincere tonight.

He remembered the way she looked up at him and told him he had beautiful eyes as they sat in the porch swing. His heart had beat a little faster and he’d been helpless to do anything but hold her on that dance floor when she commanded his performance. He closed his eyes remembering how good that had felt, holding her close, her tucked against him. She fit against him so perfectly. His mind drifted, imagining what it would be like to have her curled here beside him, making love to him beneath the stars.

He couldn’t believe he’d kissed her. Just walking away as if it were some other dance, some random girl hadn’t seemed right. He’d inhaled her sweet fragrance and knew he needed just one touch, one kiss, before he could let her go to be with Angel. In some ways, it was as much of a good-bye as that light kiss he’d given her three years ago had been. He’d softly nuzzled against her, controlling his urge to push her farther into the darkened corner and unleash the passion simmering beneath the surface between them. Something about the way she’d stared into his eyes had almost made him think she’d have gone along with it, she was as much in the moment, in the little bubble their dance had created, as he was.

But some instinct had told him at the last minute to not push things. So he’d settled for that soft kiss, the barest tease of lips on lips. He hadn’t been able to resist tasting her briefly, sampling the fullness of her lower lip. He’d tried to play it off as he backed away, with his welcome home, how much that kiss had affected him. But he’d known, as soon as he pulled back, that if he stayed one second more in her presence, held one more gaze into her hazel depths, he would do something rash. Like pick her up and leave the sodding party, Angel, and her little buddies and bring her to his place, to show her just how much he loved her. But he hadn’t. Instead, he’d run off like a fool.

Spike sighed and rolled over. Maybe he should call and make sure they got home all right. He looked at the clock. 2:45 AM. That was a little late, but the party had probably just begin to wind down. He’d left pretty early. They has probably just got there, he rationalized as he reached for the phone.

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2:30 AM - Buffy and Willow’s Room

"Did Buffy get smoochies?" The question hung in the air as Buffy laughed and blushed slightly.

"Yeah, he kissed me right before he left, just a little smooch really, not much to talk about. And come to think of it, he gave me a little peck on the nose too. I mean, no full liplocks, no tongue. I wasn’t, that impressed, it didn’t leave me as tingly as when Sp..."

Buffy simultaneously realized what she’d been saying and that Willow had already heard too much.

"Spike kissed you? Oh my, my. We are back in Sunnydale a week and Buffy Summers is becoming the kiss slut. Two boys in one night. How did that happen? When? Where was I when all this kissage was occurring?"

Buffy realized she was blushing still. She really hadn’t meant to share with Willow about Spike’s kiss. For some reason she didn’t want to discuss it and dissect it to death. She just wanted it to be. She tried to redirect the conversation.

"Well, Angel just kissed me out on the steps after you vanished at the front door, and he pecked me on the nose after we danced the first time. It was very, what’s the word, ….. chaste, very proper. I was a little surprised to tell you the truth, after Cordy’s little Casanova speech. Aside from a little bump and grind, he was quite the gentleman, you know?"

"Wonderful, Buffy. But you are avoiding the question. I want to know about this Spike smooch."

"Willow, it was just a welcome home kiss. I bugged Spike to dance with me and he said he couldn’t dance. So I dragged him out for a slow song, ‘cause anyone can dance to that. It was, well, it was good, Will. It was very nice. And then, as the end, he just gave me one of those little Eskimo kisses, you know, he rubbed his nose against mine, then he kissed me, just a peck really.

Her hand unconsciously reached up to touch her lips.

"I’m sure it was just a brotherly welcome home kind of thing, like when we left for England."

"OK Buffy, first, brothers don’t kiss their sisters on the mouth as a general rule, especially not at your age, unless you live in the backwoods and your family tree only has one branch. Second, what do you mean like when we left for England? Spike kissed you before we went for England? What’s going on with the two of you?"

"Nothing Willow. He gave me those bears, remember, the night before we left? Well he just gave me a little good-bye kiss then too. It wasn’t like a sexy kiss, it was just kind of a ‘I’m sad my best friends leaving’ kiss. And tonight, I think it was the same. He’s glad I’m back. I’m glad I’m back. I mean, Will, you’ve always been my best female friend, but Spike was always my best male friend. And I’ve missed him so much. So it was just a way to say we’re glad we’re back together and still friends. That’s it. Nothing else."

"If you say so Buffy." Willow privately thought that had to be the biggest pile of BS she’d ever heard in her life. "I’m sorry Angel wasn’t more exciting to you. He probably just didn’t want to be too pushy. He did seem really into you though. I’m sure you guys will have a great time on your date."

Just then the phone rang, causing both girls to jump. Willow was closest and leaned over to retrieve the receiver.

"Summers-Rosenburg residence."

"Willow? Hey, I didn’t wake you up, did I?"

"Spike? No, Buffy and I were still up chatting. Great party tonight, by the way. You guys really know how to throw a bash."

"Thanks, Red. I’m sorry to ring so late, I really just wanted to make sure you got home okay. And you say Buffy’s there as well?

"Yeah, hang on you can talk to her."

Before Spike could protest, Willow was shoving the phone at Buffy, who stared at the receiver as though it might bite her. She hadn’t expected to talk with him tonight. What if he mentioned the kiss? What would she say?

Slightly panicked, she took the phone.

"Hello, Spike?"

"Buffy? Hey pet, sorry to bother you ladies, just wanted to make sure Goldilocks didn’t get eaten by the Big Bad Wolf before she made it home."

"No, no fairy tale monsters tonight and we are home safe and sound, all tucked up in bed."

"Great. Well, sorry again to ring you so late. I didn’t mean to bother you, I’ll let you snuggle up there and get some rest."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for checking on us Spike. It’s nice to know we have someone whose looking out for us despite my little rampage in the coat closet tonight."

"No problem pet, that’s what I’m hear for." He fought to keep the trace of bitterness out of his voice as they said their good-byes and hung up the phone.

He felt at ease knowing they’d gotten home all right, but Buffy’s words gnawed at him. He was a hopeless case. She wasn’t interested in him and the sooner he could let it go the better. He clicked off his lamp and proceeded to stare at the wall, hoping sleep would block out the pain.

Buffy returned the phone to the cradle, avoiding Willow’s expectant expression.

"He just wanted to make sure we were okay." She didn’t really have to fake the yawn she made. "Guess I’ll get ready for bed. Night Willow."

She grabbed her toothbrush and soap and hurried to the bathroom. Her heart had jumped a little when she heard his voice on the line, but it felt heavier mow. He was just checking up on his girls. His little charges he wanted safe. Despite her earlier comments to Willow, she had wondered if maybe that kiss had been more than a friendly welcome. But that brief conversation seemed to indicate that wasn’t the case. She finished her nightly preparations and slipped quietly back into the dorm room, snapping off the lamp. In the quiet of the room, she reached for William Bear and cradled it to her, kissing the tip of its nose foolishly as she drifted off to a troubled sleep.

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4:00 AM Angel’s Room

Cordelia sighed as she stretched beside Angel.

"You haven’t lost you touch, big guy."

He leaned up on one elbow.

"Spill Cordelia, I need to know where to start."

"OK, first shocker. Angel, Buffy’s still a virgin."

He stared at her in disbelief.

"Cordy, you aren’t serious? All that time wandering around Europe and she didn’t have a single fling, a one-night stand, a brief romance? No way."

"Apparently not. I mean Giles was there most of the time and you know how overprotective he is. He’s like Spike, only worse. By the way, what are you going to do about Spike? Is he going to let you romance his Buffy?"

"I think I got that one covered already. I gave him a little talk tonight, all man to man, I’m asking permission to call on your sister crap. I promised my intentions were honorable, etc."

"Angel, he knows about your philandering as much as any of us. You still use his place sometimes to bring women to."

"Yeah, I know. We can’t meet there anymore, obviously. But that’s the beauty of it. I don’t think that Spike knows about us. He’s been busy with stuff and we’ve always been pretty discreet. I doubt he even cares enough to notice. We’re old friends, people expect us to hang out. So as long as we’re careful and don’t flaunt it, he’ll never know. And since I’m giving up the other women, he’ll think I’m serious about Buffy. Works perfectly."

"Do you think he’s so overprotective because he thinks he’s family? Or do you think something else is going on? He was dancing with her tonight, Angel. I saw them together, after you snuck off with Gina. If that was brotherly affection, the way he was holding onto her, there’s some incest in that family."

"You think so? Well I don’t think I have anything to worry about. I’m turning the Angel charm full blast on Ms. Summers. She’s never going to know what hit her. Besides, Spike’s probably gay. When was the last time you saw him with a woman? Drusilla?"

"I don’t think he’s gay, Angel. I think he’s got it bad for somebody. I mean, Spike’s very hot. I’d do him."

Angel stared at her.

"Don’t give me that look. You’re all big and muscley, but Spike, well, you’ve seen him in those Speedos, haven’t you? Let’s just say if he ever acted interested, I won’t turn him down. I’d like to see what he’s like in bed. I bet he’s creative."

"Whatever, Cordelia."

"I’m just saying, you better watch him. Spike could have women, hell, he could probably have men too. He doesn’t go for anyone. He’s either still hung up on Dru, or he’s nursing a very long-burning flame for someone else. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s Buffy."

"Well, thanks for the heads up, Ms. Relationships Expert. I think I’ll be fine. Buffy danced with Xander tonight too. She didn’t seem all that hung up on him. But she was definitely into me."

"Fine. Whatever. I’m sure you’re right. Start sounding out Wesley for me Monday at practice, OK. And you are driving me home. It’s after 4:00, if we go now, on one will see us together. We’ll work out arrangements on the way."

****

Chapter 8: Learning

"Hey Willow, are you ready to go?"

"Yep. Got my lucky pen for the first day of class, my highlighters, notebooks and colored tabs, so I can index as I go."

Buffy concealed a slight eye roll. She loved Willow, but her best friend was a little bit obsessive when it came to school sometimes.

"Let’s go then. I think my first class is in the same building as yours - Olin Hall. Given that’s the math building, I think this is the first and last time we’ll both be having classes there."

She supressed a slight shudder. Math had to be one of her least favorite subjects, but she needed to get this Business Calculus class out of the way for her degree. Willow bounced along happily beside her. Apparently she had bumped into Xander yesterday and they’d gone for a long walk and done some catching up. Buffy smiled, she was happy the pair seemed to be hitting it off so well. She really hoped it would work out. They reached Olin and separated as Buffy made her way to Room 254 for the dreaded class to begin. Not the best way to start a Monday.

*******************************

"Buffy, wait up." She turned as she walked down the steps of the building, slightly shell-shocked from the first class.

"Spike, hey, how are you doing?" Buffy hoped she wasn’t visibly blushing. She hadn’t seen him since the other night and she didn’t want to act awkward around him about what happened.

"Pretty good. Do you have class in here now?"

"Just finished actually, Business Calc. I know it’s a wimpy class to math and science types but it’s so hard for me. I’m just clueless about it."

"Yeah, I remember that Calculus could be a little tricky."

"So you’ve had it already."

"Yeah, well, not the business version, but I had it a couple of years ago. Just think of it as plugging in numbers."

He continued to walk with her as she headed back towards the dorm.

"Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask you about something. Is there anything going on with Willow and Xander? He dropped by yesterday evening and it was Willow said this and Willow did that. I don’t think I’ve heard Xan talk about a girl that much in a very long time."

"Really? Willow’s going to be so excited to hear that. I think there is definitely something brewing between the two of them. You know she’s always had a crush on him, even when we were back in junior high. I’m so glad he’s noticing her now. She was a little nervous about things, but it sounds like it might be working out." Buffy replied.

Spike nodded his agreement, then moved to a less welcome topic, but one he desperately wanted to know.

"Yeah, speaking of that pet, did Angel walk you home like he promised?"

Buffy suddenly found the architecture of the foreign language building ahead very interesting. "Yes. He actually walked the group back."

"So everything went all right, he treated you proper?" Spike prodded.

"He was very polite, Spike. In fact, he asked me out for Friday." Buffy bristled a little at the tone in his voice. *Here we go again, Mr. Overprotective.*

"Oh really." His voice grew quiet. "And did you accept?"

"Yes." Why did she feel so bad telling him about her date with Angel? She used to could tell him anything at all.

"Well, I’m happy for you both, Goldilocks. Looks like you and Red both are getting to make good on those little crushes you’ve nursed for so long." Spike realized there was more than a little bitterness in his tone. "You let me know if he ever gets out of line, all right? I’d better dash, don’t want to be late to my next class."

And then suddenly, he was gone, leaving her feeling cold despite the warm sunlight.

********************************

Buffy slammed the book shut.

"Willow, I don’t mean to be a total dunce here, but this stuff is like Greek to me. I knew I should have taken a math class last year. I haven’t so much as glanced at anything more complicated than balancing my checkbook since we finished high school, how on earth am I ever going to be able to do this stuff?"

"Oh, Buffy, it’ll come back. Here let me see if I can help you."

Over an hour later, Willow finally gave up. "Buffy, I don’t think I’m going to be able to help. I don’t know any other way to explain it. You really have a block with this stuff. Why don’t you check with the math lab on campus? Maybe they can find somebody who’ll click with you. Or you could ask Spike. Didn’t he help you with your math homework in high school? He seemed to be able to get you through Algebra, maybe he could help with this?"

Buffy mulled that one over. She wasn’t entirely sure Spike would want to help her. He’d seemed pretty dismissive earlier today. Maybe she should just call the lab. She returned to her struggles.

*************************************

Buffy felt near to tears by the time she exited Olin Hall on Wednesday. Stupid math. That’s what computers and accountants were for. She didn’t intend to solve strange problems involving bridges or apples or whatever stupid example they threw at her. She knew she was overreacting, but she had been mortified when the professor had called on her to solve the first and apparently easiest problem, and she had been unable to even get the setup anywhere close to right. She definitely was going to need a tutor.

"Buffy, wait up."

Buffy turned at the sound of a familiar voice. "Xander, hey, buddy. Haven’t seen you in a few days. How are you doing?"

"Good Buffy. Listen do you have a minute, I need to talk with you about something."

Buffy smiled as they found a empty bench along the quad and sat down. She was pretty sure she knew where this was headed.

"Buffy, does Willow ever mention me?"

This was just too cute. She felt like she needed to write a little Xander note:

Dear Willow,
Do you like me?
Check yes or no.
Xander

…. and pass it to Will, then return the note with the yes box checked, so they could just move on with things.

"Xander, I’m going to have to know a little about why you’re asking to be able to answer that."

He colored slightly. "Well, I, I’d like to ask her out. On a date. Not just as friends. But like a real date. Where I pick her up and stuff."

Buffy stopped him before he babbled his way through the entire evening.

"Xander, do you really like Willow? I’m mean are you serious about this? Because I don’t want her to get her feelings hurt."

Xander looked at her. "Buffy, I am serious. I’m not saying I’m going to propose or anything, but I really want to go out with her. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt Willow, you know that."

Buffy smiled. "Very well, I just needed to double check. In answer to your question, she talks about you all the time."

Xander broke into a huge grin. "Really? That’s great. I mean, we had a lot of fun the other night, but I didn’t know if it was just me and then I ran into her Sunday and we talked for like hours."

Buffy impulsively hugged him. "Oh Xander, I hope things will work out for you guys, you are two of my favoritest people on the planet. But remember, you hurt her and I’ll have to kill you - got it?"

"Aye, aye, Captain."

"Hey Harris, are you macking on my girl?"

Both Buffy and Xander turned to see Angel approaching. *His girl?* Buffy stared at Angel, a little put off at this general announcement, like he was claiming her or something. They hadn’t even officially gone out yet.

Angel walked up to the pair and threw his arm around Buffy. Xander looked from Buffy to Angel and then threw a mock punch at his friend. "You sly dog, you, when did the two of you hook up? Was it at the party? I thought I heard someone in your room getting a little action when I went up to grab something from my room."

Angel stiffened slightly against Buffy. "Oh, that wasn’t me ,Xander. Somebody else must have been using my room - since it has a working lock and everything. No, Buffy has just agreed to go out with me on Friday night."

Xander looked at the two of them again. He was pretty sure he’d seen Gina coming out of Angel’s room and he’d definitely bragged about his little beach encounter with her the week before. But whatever. Angel was pretty easy come and easy go with women. He let it drop.

"Well, congratulations, you two. Buffy, you never said a word."

Buffy continued to smile, but she couldn’t help but wonder about Xander’s comment. She glanced down at her watch.

"Thanks, Xander. Oh guys, I’ve got to dash or I’ll be late for my next class. Xander, good luck with Willow. Angel, call me and let me know what we’re doing on Friday, okay? Bye guys." She shrugged out from under his arm and walked to her next class, a small seed of doubt taking root about this thing with Angel.

**************************************

Buffy waited outside the auditorium as Giles concluded his lecture and the students streamed out. He finished answering the questions of the students who had gathered near the front at the end and then moved over to where she was standing.

"Hey Giles, how was your class?"

"It was good, Buffy. The lectures are generally just that, very little discussion in a class this size, but they all seem quite attentive. I have a wonderful seminar group this semester as well. How were your first few days of classes? Jenny said you called the other night, I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk with you."

"Oh that’s okay, it was just some girl talk. How are you two?"

Giles looked slightly embarrassed, but his tone was proud as he replied, "We’re doing quite well actually. I’m just wondering why I waited so long now. I’m so fortunate someone didn’t win her heart while I was gone."

Buffy squeezed his arm. "I’m so glad you too are finally together for real. I always knew you were perfect for each other."

They continued down the hallway and exited the building.

"Giles, did you guys have plans tonight? I was wondering if I could bum a ride with you. I forgot a few things I need and I thought we might could have dinner if you and Jenny aren’t busy."

"No, that’d be wonderful Buffy. I think Jenny had said she wanted to eat in tonight, I know she’ll love for you to join us. I’ll drive you back to campus after dinner or bring you back in the morning, if you’d rather. I need to be on campus early."

They made their way to Giles’ car and continued to fill each other in on the weekend and the first few days of school as they drove.

When they pulled into the drive, Buffy quickly ran up the stairs to the door. "Jenny? I’ve come for dinner."

Jenny appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Buffy? How are you doing? You can stay for dinner?"

"If it’s not a problem?"

"No, I made plenty. I’m so glad to see you." She pulled Buffy in for a quick hug before she settled in on one of the stools to nibble at the salad sitting on the table.

Giles followed Buffy into the kitchen and came around for a quick kiss from Jenny before leaving to change clothes and drop his books off in his study. Buffy drank in the sight of the two of them together, so clearly in love. She really hoped she could find what they had one day, preferably before she was their age. Jenny turned back to her as Giles left the room.

"Isn’t he a sweetie? So, how are classes? Everything going well?"

"They’re all good except for this stupendously hard math class. I’m just lost in there, Jenny. I have this huge mental block and I’m going to really have a problem, I think. Willow tried to tutor me, but it didn’t help."

"Why don’t you ask William? He helped you in high school, didn’t he?"

"That’s what Willow said." Buffy looked away. "I don’t want to bother him, Jenny. I mean, I know he’s really busy this semester."

"Buffy, I know he’d love to help you. Why don’t you at least ask? How about I’ll call him after dinner and tell him you’ll drop by for just a minute to discuss it, okay?"

"You really think he wouldn’t mind? He really did help a lot in high school. It always made sense when he explained things. Maybe I can do his laundry for him or something?"

"See, I like that - bartering for service. You have an entrepreneurial spirit. I know I’m going to love having you work at the gallery. Now let’s talk about your hours and the kinds of things you’ll be doing."

They continued to discuss the gallery and Buffy’s new job as they finished preparing dinner together.

After dinner, as Buffy put the last of the dishes away, she ran up to her room to grab a few items she’d forgotten when moving that she wanted to take back to campus. As she came back down the stairs, Giles appeared around the corner.

"Ready to head back to campus, dear? Jenny says you need to stop by and see William about him tutoring you in math?’

"I guess. She thinks he won’t mind helping me, so I probably should talk with him. Do you know where he lives?’

"Oh yes, it’s actually right on the edge of campus, you know that small neighborhood off of Country Club Road? He has a little loft over one of the houses. I can drop you off and I’m sure he won’t mind seeing you home. Jenny’s going to call him right now."

Buffy found Jenny in the living room and gave her a quick hug before grabbing her bookbag and the satchel she’d packed.

Just as they reached the car, Buffy glanced across the street and saw Xander coming out of his house.

"Hey Xander? Are you going back towards campus?"

"Hey Buffy, Giles. How are you guys tonight? Yeah, I just had to drop something off for my mom and I’m driving back over now. You need a ride?"

"Would you mind? Then Giles won’t have to take me back over. Only I’m actually going to Spike’s to see if he can help me with my math class."

"No problem, that’s even closer to the house. I can drop you off."

Giles interrupted. "Are you sure you don’t mind, Xander? I can drop Buffy off if it’s an inconvenience."

"Nope, it’s really on my way. Buffster, grab your bags and we’ll boogie."

"Thanks, Xander. I’ll see you later, Giles. Thanks for dinner." She grabbed him a quick hug and pecked his cheek, then ran across the street.

Giles watched as the pair climbed into Xander’s car and drove away, then quickly turned back to the house. Now, maybe he could surprise Jenny.

He quietly slid open the door and approached the living room stealthily. He saw Jenny with her back to him and slipped up behind her, sliding his arms around her and cupping her breasts as he nibbled at her neck. Jenny dropped the phone she’d been dialing and gave a short scream.

"Rupert?"

"Yes, my love?"

She turned quickly. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. Where’s Buffy?"

"Xander’s giving her a ride back to campus. I guess that gives us a little extra time to play tonight." He grinned at her wickedly as his hands continued to roam over her. Jenny quickly began working the buttons of his shirt loose, thankful she had closed the blinds earlier. She knew the neighbors were gossiping about them, at least they wouldn’t give them the full show. Her phone call to Spike was forgotten as she slid Giles’ shirt from his shoulders.

*******************************

"So, I called Willow this afternoon and we’re going out on Friday. Listen, I was wondering, would you want to maybe make it a double date, since you’re going out with Angel then?"

"That would be cool." Buffy was secretly relieved at the suggestion. Maybe things would be less awkward with the four of them together. She didn’t feel entirely comfortable with Angel, their phone conversations had been short and she was nervous at the prospect of a whole evening of stilted attempts at dialogue.

"Good. I’ll mention it to Angel tonight. I thought maybe dinner and then we could go see a movie or go bowling or something after."

"Sounds good. I’m glad you guys worked things out."

"Well, its cool about you and Angel, too. He’s a great guy, Buffy and he seems pretty taken with you. Looks like he may be done sowing his wild oats."

Buffy gave him a strange look at the last comment, but replied, "Yeah, I know. I’m a lucky girl."

Xander pulled his car into the small driveway beside Spike’s. "Well here we are. Just go up those stairs on the side to get to Spike’s place. Is he going to take you home?"

"I think so. Jenny was calling him when we left. Thanks for the ride, Xander. I’ll see you on Friday, if not before."

Buffy exited the door and waved as he drove off, then grabbed her bags and mounted the stairs. She was a little nervous about asking the favor, but her curiosity about seeing Spike’s place overrode that.

She reached the top and knocked softly on the door. She waited a minute, then knocked harder. Suddenly, the door was opened to reveal Spike standing before her. "What do you want, oh… Buffy. Hey luv, I wasn’t expecting you. Come in."

Buffy stared. Spike was shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose athletic shorts which rode low on his waist. His hair was tousled into soft curls and he was the most beautiful thing she thought she’d ever seen. She sincerely hoped she wasn’t drooling.

He suddenly realized that she was fixated on his bare chest and hadn’t moved since he’d opened the door, so he hastily grabbed a t-shirt that was laying across the back of the couch and slung it on as he turned back to her. He couldn’t help but feel a little pride at her obvious admiration of him, he was only human after all. But what on earth was she doing here?

Buffy shook herself out of her daze and moved into the room, closing the door behind her and taking in the surroundings. She admired the simplicity of the place and the neat groupings that divided the flow of the space into separate areas.

"Wow, Spike, your apartment’s very cool, can I get the grand tour?"

He was still confused as to why she was here, but he didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. The more time with her the better.

"Sure pet. But you’re okay, aren’t you? I mean, everything’s all right?"

"Everything’s fine. Oh, did Jenny not call yet? I though she would have by now."

He shook his head. "No, is something wrong with her?"

"No she’s fine, she was just going to call and tell you I was going to drop by. I had a favor I needed to ask."

"Ask away."

Buffy looked slightly embarrassed.

"I really hate to bother you with this. I know you are really busy with stuff this year and if you don’t have time, I totally understand. It’s just that math class, you know the one I was coming out of when I ran into you Monday? Spike, I’m so lost in there. I don’t even know where to start and I just don’t understand when Willow explains it to me. Jenny thought you might be able to help, you were so good at explaining math to me in high school. Please Spike? I’m willing to barter. Make a trade? What do you want in return?"

The question hung in the air and the many possible answers to the offer surfaced in both their minds. Spike had known as soon as she asked that he’d gladly find time to tutor her. But then she’d had to sweeten the pot. What did he want? Her. He couldn’t stifle the impulse to make the obvious reply in a slow, seductive drawl.

"I don’t know, luv, what are you offering?"

Buffy found herself coloring again as his words immediately conjured up images of her performing sexual favors for him. Where had that come from? She refused to meet his eyes and continued to look at the floor as he laughed softly.

"I’m just giving you a hard time. Of course I’ll be happy to help you."

"Oh no, Spike, I won’t feel right if you don’t let me do something in return. I can do your laundry, or make you dinner on the nights you tutor me or something like that."

"Why, Goldilocks, never pegged you for the domestic type. When did you take up cooking? I remember some fairly disastrous attempts in high school."

"Hey, I thought you liked those biscuits I made."

He laughed at the memory, diffusing some of the tension in the air. "Those were the hardest bread I’ve ever tried to eat. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings when you’d worked so hard on them."

She punched him lightly on the arm. "Thanks a lot. Well, when I say cook, I actually mean pick up the phone and order take-out, but I’m quite skilled at that. And I have gotten better with actual cooking, I’ll have you know."

"Well sounds like a plan then. You can show me your culinary skills and I’ll tutor you once a week. Fair enough?"

"Wonderful. Spike, think you so much, you are truly a lifesaver. Now show me your place."

She checked out his small living room, then he showed her the intricacies of his small kitchen. She complimented him on the coziness of the study area formed by low bookshelves. Then he led her around the screen to his "bedroom" and Buffy gaped at the large bed situated under the skylight.

"Spike, that is so cool. You can see the stars! That’s way better than those little glow in the dark things I use to have on my ceiling."

She resisted the urge to comment on the size of the bed itself, with its decadent crimson satin comforter. She headed towards the only door to check out the bathroom.

He laughed as she stared at the tub. "Can I move in with you? I mean right now? This is the coolest bathroom. Spike, you have a tub. An honest to goodness tub that you could actually soak in. I am so jealous. I think I love bubble baths almost as much as chocolate and that tub just begs for Calgon."

He smothered the images of Buffy frolicking naked in bubbles in said tub as he ushered her back to the main room.

"Well, pet, you ever want to make use of it, let me know and you can come over and soak. In point of fact, what don’t I just give you a key? That way you can study here whenever you want. It’s usually very quiet and you can get away from the dorm when you need to and let yourself in on our study night if I’m not here yet."

"You sure you don’t mind?" Buffy frowned, worried that it would be too intrusive to just pop in whenever she wanted.

"No. I had all the locks changed a few years ago, had a little incident with too many people passing around my keys. Now the only people with keys are Xander and Angel, who have strict instructions not to loan them out. You’re welcome to one, pet. I don’t mind you using the place at all."

"Are you sure it won’t," she paused, unsure how to phrase this without being nosy, "cramp your style if I were to show up unexpectedly?"

He realized what she was fishing for. "No Buffy, there’s nothing you can walk in on that would embarrass you. No girlies running ‘round, if that’s what you are getting at."

Buffy smiled at his words, secretly pleased at the confirmation that Spike didn’t have a girlfriend.

"Thank you then. I think I will take that key. I’m sorry to drop in on you so unexpectedly tonight. I hate to ask you this, but it nearly 10:00PM. Would you mind walking me home?

"Sure. We’re actually really close to Stevenson, if we take this little shortcut, but don’t be doing this at night by yourself."

He grabbed her bag and a flashlight and ushered her out the door, locking it behind him. He showed her the side street that paralleled the campus behind the dorms, and the small path though the woods that allowed them to cut across to the campus directly.

"I had no idea you were so close. That’s less than a ten minute walk. You better watch out, Spike, now that I know where you are, I’m going to be popping up all the time," she teased.

"Fine by me pet. You know you are always welcome. When do you want to start working on your calc?"

"Could we tomorrow night? I have class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and I’d love to be prepared for the next class"

"Sounds good. Bout sixish? That should be before dark and I’ll walk you home afterwards."

"Great. Thank you again, Spike, for everything."

"Goodnight, Goldilocks."

She watched him saunter away as she closed the door to the dorm. Despite a few awkward moments, that had gone well. She was excited, she’d see him again tomorrow night. It was almost like old times, when they would hang out with each other nearly every day after school. She mounted the stairs to tell Willow about her tutoring arrangements and the proposed double date for Friday.

A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have reviewed. It just makes my day!

Chapter 9: Sleeping Arrangements

The girls giggled as they hurried up the stairs to their room after their date. Buffy had to admit, she’d had fun tonight, hanging out with her old friends. Angel and Xander had showed up to pick them up at seven, each carrying a beautiful red rose that had been presented to their dates respectively. A nice dinner, with a lot of reminiscing about some high school hijinks had followed, and their laughter had been so loud, they’d finally decided to leave because they were getting dirty looks from those around them.

They’d left and headed out for a couple of rounds of bowling at the Sunnydale Lanes. They start out playing guys against girls, with Buffy and Willow holding their own initially, but soon found that Xander’s superior skill pulled the guys ahead. They’d switched for the second round, so that Willow was on the winning team when paired with her date.

They’d finally ended up down by the lake, sitting on the edge of the docks. After a short while, Willow and Xander had wandered off for a walk, while Buffy and Angel had continued to sit on the dock and chat.

The view had been pretty and the setting romantic, with the moonlight reflecting off the water. By all rights, it should have been a perfect ending to a date. But for some reason, Buffy didn’t really feel a spark. If anything, she just felt a little cold and shivered slightly in the cool breeze coming off the lake. Angel had offered her his jacket and after she refused, he’d slung his arm around her to "keep her warm". She’d leaned against him, her head against his shoulder and they’d stayed just that way for some time, quietly talking about this and that and watching the lake.

Buffy had been a little surprised, she had a fair idea of why Xander and Willow had wandered off, but Angel had seemed content to just sit next to her, no pressure at all. He finally leaned in to kiss her and she responded, lips brushing, mouths opening slightly, but it was over quickly and Buffy felt a sort of clinical detachment as she catalogued the kiss as nice, but far from spectacular. No racing heart, no accelerated pulse, just a mild hmmm. She wondered if it was her, and thought about pulling him down for a second try, but footsteps sounded on the dock just then and she let the thought go.

The other couple had returned, slightly rumpled, but flushed and happy, and they’d decided to call it a night, since Buffy had to start her job the next day. They had driven back to Stevenson and the girls said their goodnights, heading inside. Buffy followed Willow into their room, then turned and locked the door behind them.

"Willow, you have pine needles in you hair." Buffy smirked as she walked over to pull the greenery out of Willow’s fiery locks. "Fess up missy, how did that come about?"

Willow gave a huge sigh and pretended to swoon on to her bed. "Oh Buffy, Xander’s wonderful. I had a fabulous time tonight, didn’t you?"

Buffy nodded. She’d had fun, apparently not as much fun as Willow, but it had been a good time. Angel was companionable and he had been a gentleman, which she appreciated. But she wasn’t blown away. But still, a nice evening and she was willing to go out with him again, if he asked. Maybe they just needed to get to know each other better.

****************************************

The following Wednesday, Buffy mounted the steps to Spike’s apartment, juggling the bags of food she’d picked up from the Chinese restaurant on the edge of campus, her bookbag, and an extra duffel. He’d been so helpful last week that she’d even been able to correctly answer questions in class today. She was bringing dinner as promised, but she fully intended to do his laundry this week as well, as an extra thank you.

She sat a few bags down on the landing, so she could knock, but got no response. She pulled out her keys and inserted the correct one into the door, pushing it open tentatively.

"Spike? Anybody home?"

When no one answered, she went in, gathering up his discarded clothes and throwing them in the duffel. She found herself sniffing a shirt here and there, to see if it was clean of course, and enjoyed the combination of smells that made up Spike. She made herself stop after about the third shirt, knowing if he walked in and caught her sniffing his clothes, he’d think she was a freak. She took one last furtive sniff, and then set the duffel aside as she unpacked the Chinese and arranged it buffet style on his counter. She was just finishing up as Spike walked through the door.

"Hi honey, I’m home," he quipped as he took in his considerably neater apartment, now that the random pieces of clothing he seemed to shed throughout the week were gone.

"Buffy, luv, where are my clothes?"

"I’m doing your laundry this week." Before he could protest, she bounced over to him, gleeful in her excitement. "Spike, I answered questions in class today! And they were right! And I knew what I was saying too, I wasn’t just making stuff up. So thank you very much, you get the laundry bonus."

He smiled down at her. "That’s wonderful, Goldy. And that’s quite the spread you’ve "cooked" for us tonight."

"Told you I was great at take-out."

They filled their plates and ate as they discussed their respective days. Spike told Buffy about his professor’s new project that he was working on and they discussed some of the things she would be likely to encounter at Jenny’s gallery, where Spike had been helping on and off for years now. He had her rolling with his tales about the poodle lady, the woman who refused to leave her tiny toy poodle at home because she frequently bought pieces based on her dog’s response, the barks and whines all having some meaning that she interpreted. Buffy was still laughing at his mimicry as they packed away the leftovers in the fridge, then broke out the books to study.

A few hours later, Buffy sighed and stretched. She was pleased by their progress. Spike really broke things down and she’d managed to get a little ahead. She glanced at the clock, realizing it was already nine.

"Spike, I’m sorry to have stayed so late, I know you must have other stuff to do. I’m sure I’ll be fine walking home alone. I’ll take the flashlight." She started packing up her books. Spike grasped her wrist and stopped her frantic packing.

"You bloody well will not. Buffy. Listen to me. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to. It’s not a burden, you being here. I like spending time with you, pet. I missed you the last three years, it hasn’t been the same without you. So if a little math tutoring if the price I pay for some time with you, it’s a low cost, in my opinion."

Buffy had just stared at him, her eyes wide. She honestly could not think of a single reply to his sincere statement, but his words touched her deeply.

He stood up and moved away as she continued to absorb his statement. "Can you spare an hour before you go home? It’s my telly time, I wanted to watch my tape."

Buffy looked up and laughed. "Spike, are you still addicted to Passions?"

He admitted to his deep dark secret and they watched the tape together, him catching her up on the finer points of the show as they went along. He walked her home afterwards through the woods, carrying the duffel of laundry, still insisting she didn’t have to do it.

************************************

The next few weeks found Buffy settling in and a rhythm of sorts developed in her life. She worked at the gallery on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, enjoying the chance to explore the variety of art Jenny carried and learn more about the business. She’d had a few more dates with Angel on the Friday nights he wasn’t traveling with the football team, and met with Spike for tutoring every Wednesday. She and Willow had agree to rush for Cordy’s sorority and were accepted, as predicted. Buffy soon added Monday night meetings at the house to her slate of activities. She enjoyed being part of the group, but still preferred hanging out with her old friends over everything else.

She found herself popping over to Spike’s place more and more often as the weeks past, for a quiet place to study and hang out and she soon shared his Passions addiction, watching his nightly tape with him. He started leaving the episodes for her to catch up on when she’d miss a night or couldn’t come by. She felt deprived when something came up to keep her from dropping by his place for their nightly ritual.

He always seemed glad to see her and she realized he’d been right, he was a big part of what she’d been missing for the last three years as well. She found that she was reluctant to share that she was spending so much time with him, even with Willow. Will knew about the Wednesday night tutoring, but she thought Buffy was studying at the library most other nights, and Buffy hadn’t really tried to dispel the notion.

She didn’t know why she didn’t want to talk about it with Willow or Jenny, she just didn’t think they’d understand, that they’d tried to put a label on them or categorize their relationship in some way. She didn’t know what their relationship was exactly, and she didn’t really want to, because she liked things as they were. Being at Spike’s place with just him, with no one else in the world knowing where she was, was like being in a soft, safe cocoon where everything in her universe was all right.

*****************************************

Late September arrived. Buffy and Willow were studying in companionable silence in their room, preparing for a round of quizzes that several professors had popped up with as the semester progressed. At least, the studying started out in silence. Buffy realized that Willow was doing that little tap-tap-tap thing with her pencil that she did when she needed to talk about something.

Willow finally stopped the tapping. "Buffy, I have a huge favor to ask. You aren’t, by any chance, going home for the weekend, are you?"

Buffy looked at her in confusion. "I hadn’t planned on it. Angel offered to take me to the movies, some new action flick I think. Why?"

"Well, I guess I was wondering, if it would be possible for me to have the room Friday night."

"Oh. Ohhhh. You and Xander? You guys are moving right along there, eh Will?"

"I know. And I really want him to spend the night, you know, afterwards. But obviously we can’t go to my house or his parents, they’re both around and that feels too much like sneaking around in high school. And he has his own room at the frat house, but the walls are pretty thin and the other guys are all nosy. So this seems like the best locale. But I feel bad kicking you out of the room, I just thought you might be going anyway. That’s okay, we’ll find somewhere else."

"Willow. Stop. It’s fine. I’m working at the gallery on Saturday anyway. I’ll just get Angel to drop me off at Giles’ house, instead of here. I hope you guys have a good time."

"Thank you Buffy, I really appreciate it."

***************************

Buffy and Angel exited the movie theater, carrying the remains of a huge tub of buttered popcorn.

"Well that was interesting. I had no idea one could crash a car that many different ways."

"You mean you didn’t like the car chases? And there were so many. Women….you just don’t get it."

She punched him lightly on the arm and then looped her arm in his as they headed for his car. As usual, she’d had a nice time with Angel.

Nice. Such a boring adjective and yet the best one to describe their dates. He was always super polite, very charming, opened doors, and so on. She should really be grateful that she’d lucked out in finding a good guy to date so quickly after coming back to Sunnydale. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, maybe she just needed to work harder at this relationship.

"Oh, Angel, I almost forgot. Can you actually drop me off at Giles’, instead of the dorm tonight? I’m going to spend the night there."

"Sure thing." He’d drove her to the old neighborhood, covertly checking his watch and the time. She wondered about that. He always seemed to check his watch as the date grew later. She wondered if there was some rule about how long a date should be that she didn’t know about.

As he pulled into Giles’ driveway, she quietly got out, after a quick goodnight kiss and walked to the front door as he pulled away. The house was dark and silent and she tried to be mouse-like in creeping in, so as not to disturb the sleeping Giles.

Then suddenly she realized there was music playing in the family room. She walked quietly down the hall and stopped dead, just short of the doorway.

Dancing in front of her, to some sort of soulful blues tune, were a very naked Jenny and Giles, bodies intertwined as they swayed to the music. Buffy clapped her hand to her eyes as she backed as quietly as she could down the hallway, certain they hadn’t seem her, as wrapped up in each other as they were. She managed to get the front door closed and relocked it, before she collapsed on the front step.

She was afraid she might be permanently scarred for life. Naked Giles and Naked Jenny all wrapped around each other. As much as she adored them both and as happy as she was for them, she had not needed to see that. She shuddered, seeing one’s parents, or parent substitutes in her case, getting a happy simply should never happen. She regained her composure and reached for her cell phone.

She tried Angel’s phone, thinking that he couldn’t have gotten far, and he could surely could come back and pick her up. She was puzzled when she got nothing but voice mail, so she left him a message to call her back. He must have shut his phone off. She hated to call Willow and Xander and mess up their special evening. She thought some more. Spike! Of course! He’d come get her and he could properly sympathize about the impact of this on her. She couldn’t wait to tell him.

Quickly she dialed his cell, which he answered over a dull roar in the background.

"Spike? Where are you?"

"Buffy?" He covered his other ear with his hand in an attempt to block out more noise and edged away from the stage at the Bronze into the back hallway, where he could hear a little better.

"Buffy? Is that you?"

"Hey Spike - what’s the noise?"

"I’m at the Bronze, pet, there are some new bands up from LA playing tonight, one of my old bandmates called and recommended I come check’em out. They’re pretty good. How are you pet? Everything okay?"

"Actually, I have a little problem I was hoping you could help me with. I hate to interrupt your evening, but is there any way you can come and get me at Giles’ house? You are never going to believe what I just saw."

They finalized the arrangements and Buffy walked down to the end of the street to wait for Spike’s arrival. As soon as he pulled up, she hopped in the car.

"Hey Goldilocks, do you mind coming back to the Bronze with me? They were taking a break between sets when I left to come get you and the band I went to hear is going to play one more time tonight. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. Now let me tell you how I’m scarred for life."

She related what she’d seen and he sympathized with her, agreeing that seeing Giles or Jenny naked would have been quite the shocker. They laughed about it, but each were privately thinking about the sweetness the older couple had found.

"Do you think they are going to get married?" Buffy asked, looking over at Spike.

"I don’t know. She’s almost moved into Giles’ place now. I think they could be happy just as they are, but he’s pretty traditional."

"I know. He made a comment to me the other day about being fortunate that he hadn’t lost her. It makes me think that maybe he wants to make things official. Wouldn’t that be cool, I bet I’d get to be a bridesmaid!" She dimpled at him and he had a vision of Buffy floating down the aisle, dressed in white instead of some pastel fluff.

"Yeah, though I suppose I’d have to wear a nancy-boy tux if they go for the fancy deal. It’d be worth it though, to see the two of them happily ever after."

They pulled up to the Bronze, and entered after Spike played Buffy’s cover charge. The crowd was a little different tonight than on many of the evenings Buffy had hung out here, both as a teenager and since returning to Sunnydale. Clearly the harder sound of the LA bands had drawn in a more diverse group than usual. Spike took her hand in his and led her closer to the stage. He stopped to talk to a few different individuals along the way, and finally found them a position where they could see the bands.

He stood behind her, his hands placed protectively on her shoulders. She recognized the territorial gesture for what it was, a protective measure designed to discourage others from bothering her in the thrashing crowd, but she relished the feel of him behind her as they listened to the bands play. She gradually relaxed back against him, and he smiled down at her, sliding his hands from her shoulders down to her waist, looping his arms across her stomach and resting his chin on her head as they listened to the music. She closed her eyes for a minute, enjoying the cacophony of sounds mixed in with the feel of Spike behind her.

The band finished its last song and Spike led her to the stage, never loosening his grip on her as he chatted with some of the musicians about their set and mutual friends and acquaintances. She briefly realized that standing there with Spike felt natural, she didn’t feel the resentment she sometimes felt when Angel threw his arm around her, clearly marking her as his turf when they were around his teammates or frat brothers.

She thought maybe the difference was in the motivation. With Angel, despite his sweet words, she always worried that maybe she was just something pretty, part of his image. He always wanted her to look good and praised her appearance, but there was little heartfelt emotion behind his words. Whereas Spike, Spike was holding on to her to keep her safe. She didn’t feel like she was on display with him.

She smiled up at him. "Spike, you want me to go get you a drink?" He smiled back, "Sure, just a Coke is fine."

She made her way through the crowd and to the bar, asking for two Cokes. One of the band members who been playing walked up and introduced himself as Jason. She told him her name, not wanting to be rude.

"So Buffy, did you enjoy the show." She agreed politely that she did, but declined Jason’s offer to buy her a drink. He gave off smarmy vibes.

"So you’re with Spike, huh?"

Before she could answer, she felt Spike behind her. He slid his arms around her again and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey, luv, this bloke bothering my girl?" She could almost hear the growl in Spike’s voice as he glared at Jason.

"No, man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. Sorry, my bad." Jason grabbed his beer and walked away.

Spike pulled away from her. "You ready to go? I think the bands I wanted to hear are done for the night." She agreed, but could still feel his stiffness as she followed him outside.

Once in the car, she patted his shoulder. "Spike, it’s okay. Calm down. All he did is ask me to have a drink."

He sighed as he put the key in the ignition, "I know, but I hated him looking at you like you were a piece of meat, some band groupie, who’d jump from my arms to his like a lot of the girls there tonight."

"I know Spike, but really, it’s fine." She slid across the seat and leaned her head against his shoulder. ‘I’m just glad you were there to come to my rescue. He was a little creepy."

He began the drive back to campus. Buffy was clearly tired out, it was after 3:00AM and she was soon drowsing against Spike as he drove. Before long he pulled up to Stevenson Hall and gently shook her awake.

"Buffy, wake up, luv. You’re home."

She pulled herself upright, something niggling in the back of her mind. She glanced up at the window to her room and could see some lights still flickering behind the shade. Xander and Willow. In her room. Having their special night. Clearly still doing so. She gulped. "Spike, I think I have a problem."

She turned to face him. "See, the reason I went to Giles’ tonight was because Willow asked if she could have the room to herself. She and Xander wanted some alone time and our room, minus me, seemed the most private place. So I agreed, not thinking that I’d run into the same situation at home. But look at the window. I think they may still be, um busy, and I can’t walk in there. What am I going to do?"

Spike turned the key back on. "Just come back to my place. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed. Give you a chance to check out the stars, like I knowing you’ve been dying to do.’

She laughed and agreed. She had been fascinated by that bed ever since she’d first laid eyes on it.

They reached Spike’s place and mounted the stairs. He pawed through one of his dresser drawers and came up with an old t-shirt and pair of boxers for her to sleep in. She exited into the bathroom and quickly changed, making a small neat pile of her clothes for in the morning. She came out to find his bed turned down for her and Spike curled on the small couch. She walked over to where he lay, legs draped over the arms of the couch.

"Spike, that has got to be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. You look like you’re in pain. Get up and let me sleep there."

"I’m fine." He closed his eyes and attempted to roll over, but the narrowness of the couch prevented this without much maneuvering.

She pulled his covers off and carried them back to the bed with her.

"Spike, this is ridiculous. Get up or I’m going to pour cold water on you. I can’t sleep when you look that uncomfortable."

He stood up. He didn’t really want her to sleep on the couch. She was right, it was incredibly uncomfortable. So that left the option of someone on the floor or them sharing his bed. What the hell, he liked torture.

"Fine. Come to bed, Buffy."

She started for the now vacant couch.

"Nope. You aren’t sleeping there either. You’ll be just as bad off as I was. The bed is big, we are both adults, and there is no reason why we can’t both sleep there."

She stared at him for a long minute, her hands still full of his bedding, then she tossed it on the couch and returned to the bed. He stared at the sight of her crawling across the crimson comforter, her golden skin contrasted by its rich color and reconsidered his offer for a brief moment.

Could he do this? He could. It wasn’t like she was coming to his bed to do more than sleep for a few hours. She was here as a friend, because she needed a place to stay. She’d even been on a date with another man earlier this evening. He breathed deeply, then turned out the light as he slid under the covers as well.

He felt a hand touch him on the shoulder lightly and he turned to find her facing him in the glow of the moonlight.

"Thank you Spike. For letting me stay here, for coming to get me tonight, for sharing the bed with me. And the stars are beautiful from here." She gave him a light squeeze, then broke contact and rolled away to the safety of her side of the bed.

He let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved she hadn’t touched him more than she had. He didn’t know if he could have resisted her if she’d made the slightest move towards him. This, in a twisted sense, was one of his favorite fantasies. He’d take Buffy out to a club, show her the music he liked, have a perfect evening together, then come back here where he could make love to her under the stars, watching the moonlight dance across her body as he worshipped her. He’d gotten bits and pieces of that tonight, enough to make it hard to sleep peacefully next to her, knowing what he needed to make his life complete lay inches from him.

He didn’t know what they were playing at these days. She came to see him nearly every night now. He was still tutoring her, sure, but he knew there was more going on. She flirted more with him now. It was subtle, nothing blatant, but her gentle little touches, the way she’d curl up next to him on the couch while they watched television, her hugs when she got excited, all combined were rapidly crossing over beyond friendship in his book.

But she continued to date Angel. They didn’t talk about it, except in the most passing of terms. He’d seen her occasionally on campus, having lunch at a table with Angel, his buddies, and some of the new sorority girls, but he taken to avoiding that area after that, pained at seeing them together. He didn’t think she was really happy with Angel. She didn’t light up when he was mentioned or seem that excited when her cell indicated she had a message from him. She never called Angel back from his place. And she spent her evenings with him.

He remembered the pain of seeing Dru with another man. He didn’t want to break up a relationship that way, to try to seduce Buffy and pull her to him. He wanted her to come to him, free and clear, because she didn’t want anyone else. He had often thought about pushing her on the subject, asking her about Angel, asking her about them, seeing if they could stop with the games. But he always changed his mind. Right now he at least had a part of her, quite a big part and he wasn’t sure what it would do to him if she walked away. So he waited, hoping she’d call things off with Angel and give him the chance.

They had something between them, something so special he didn’t know of anything to compare it to. He saw glimpses of it when he looked at Jenny and Giles now. He thought it was what his mum had felt for the father he’d never known, because he remembered that lost look she’d get sometimes when she’d talk about him, as if part of her was missing. That was what he felt for Buffy. She was his other half and he wanted to be whole so badly.

He stole a glance in her direction, watching the back of her golden head and the curve of her t-shirt covered back for a moment, then looked away. He slowly forced his mind to go blank, knowing he wouldn’t sleep if he kept thinking about her. He rolled away as well, leaving the two of them facing safely in opposite directions as sleep captured them.

***************************************

His first thought on waking was how warm he felt. He frequently didn’t bother wearing anything when he slept, and he was wearing both a t-shirt and pajama pants. Then he realized the other reason he was so warm was the soft fragrant body which was curled around him. Buffy. He looked down at her head nestled on his chest, her arm firmly curled around his neck and her leg thrown across his. He realized he was holding her as well, one hand tangled in her hair, the other draped across her back.

He closed his eyes again, unwilling to break the moment. She would wake up soon, he would let her go and this little interlude would be over. Best to enjoy while he could, assuming the hard-on which clearly was not paying any attention to his brain didn’t wake her and scare her to death, nudging her like that. He shifted lightly, trying to get a little relief. Better.

Buffy inhaled his scent as unobtrusively as possible as she lay against his chest. She thought he might have woken up just now, but she wasn’t sure. She wanted him to go back to sleep. She liked laying here, cosy and warm with him, snuggled together. If he woke up, he’d pull away and she’d miss the feel of his body, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears.

From where she lay, she could clearly see the erection he was sporting. An evil little voice inside encouraged her to see if she couldn’t help him out with that. She wondered what he’d do if she reached down, pulled those pants just a little lower and took him in her mouth.

She wasn’t all that experienced, she’d done that maybe twice with Geoff last year, to see what if was like and then on a dare during a stupid drinking game. She wondered if Spike would look like Geoff. Given the size of the tent in his pants, she thought he was probably bigger. Would he feel all velvety smooth under her fingers? Would he jump and twitch if she slid her tongue over his head and sucked….

Whoa there, Buffy. What the hell was she thinking? He’d been nice enough to let her stay here and the next morning all she could think about was jumping on him? The same evil little voice commented that he probably wouldn’t mind, it would be a nice way to say thank you, but she knew that would cross a line and change everything. One didn’t typically wake one’s best friend up by going down on them.

The inner voice echoed again, asking why that change would be so bad. She blocked it out, not ready to analyze why, she just knew she needed Spike’s friendship and she didn’t want to scare him away. Besides, Angel, date, last night. Why had she never had this urge to explore Angel like she suddenly, desperately wanted to with Spike?

She felt him stir and feigned sleepiness as she slowly rolled away.

"Good morning, Spike, I’m sorry if I was crowding you this morning." she said, now safely back on her side of the bed.

He took in the sight of her sleep tousled hair and soft eyes, her face scrubbed free of makeup and thought she’d never looked more beautiful. "You were fine pet. What man doesn’t like to wake up to a gorgeous woman draped across him?"

The words hung in the air as her heart fluttered and she knew she was blushing. He moved closer and she almost thought her heart would stop. He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her. Suddenly change didn’t seem that bad.

He leaned in, watching her eyes flutter shut as he approached and fought the urge to attack her lips and roll her under him for a proper good morning snog. He kissed her gently on the forehead instead, then threw back the covers and started for the kitchen, refusing to look back at what he was leaving behind. "Pancakes, pet?" He called back over his shoulder.

Buffy sighed and got up as well. "Yeah, and then would you mind taking me back to Giles? I need to get ready for work. Besides, I think Jenny’s been missing you, she keeps asking why you don’t come to dinner more."

"I know. I’m definitely going this week. You want to come with? I was thinking Tuesday night."

And the morning dissolved into normality as they ate their pancakes.

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