Some Days You Gotta Dance

Title: Baby Did A Bad Thing

Author: Mrs Muir

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: All things BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, UPN or Fox. All song lyrics belong to their owners.


Chapter 37 - Some Days You Gotta Dance

Some days you gotta dance
Live it up when you get the chance
‘Cause when the world doesn’t make no sense
And you’re feeling a little too tense
Gotta loosen up those chains and dance


“Spiiiiiike.” Dawn screamed my name and scared the living shit out of me. I turned around to see what she was doing. Just standing by the door. Giles was beside her. I raised my eyebrow at her as she started to laugh at me. Then prissily she walked over to the ladder and turned the music down.

“Did you have it up loud enough?” She smirked at me. “And been practicing the dance moves I see.”

“And does that give you the right to come into my house and scare the shit out of me?” I had forgotten that Giles was standing there but he didn’t seem upset at me for cussing in front of her. Actually I was more than a little uncomfortable that they had caught me.

It was just one of those days when you feel good and a little music makes it better. The station was tuned to a classic rock station here in town. They played the stuff that I liked. When Dawn turned it down it had been playing a little Bad Company and I had been singing and swaying along to the music while I ripped wallpaper off the living room wall. She had thought it was great that she had caught me in a moment that was embarrassing to me.

“Well, at least we are even now, Spike.” Giles said with amusement in his eyes. Now, I couldn’t hold it against him anymore about the day I caught him singing in his apartment. Freebird. Who would have thought that Giles was into that type of music?

“I know Dawn wasn’t supposed to be over this afternoon but I have to go and meet with a couple of vendors. It’s a dinner appointment. Can she stay with you?” He asked after we had acknowledged our moments of invaded privacy.

School had started today and we had decided earlier that her visits weren’t going to be as frequent. She had to really apply herself this year after her grades had slipped last year.

“There is going to be a woman there.” She announced as if that was why he was going. I looked back at him as he pulled his glasses off and started to clean them. Yep. There was a woman involved.

“Is she hot?” I asked him just to return the embarrassment favor. To move things back in my court. He looked over at me and rolled his eyes.

“No, I would not describe her as hot. Not that she isn’t attractive but this is a business dinner. And only a business dinner.” He tried to cover himself as he slipped his glasses back on.

“Uh-huh.” Dawn and I both said at the same time. Neither of us believed him. But I decided to let him off the hook.

“Yeah, it’s fine that she stays.”

He told me thanks and to make sure she did her homework. Before she did anything else. I nodded my head. And he left me a few more instructions and I just kept nodding. Finally he laughed when he realized what he was doing. I knew all of the rules when it came to her. After all, she had tried to get me to break every single one of them.

After he left she sat at the table and started to tell me about her day at school.

“The classes are pretty much boring. But I have world history and figured you could help me with that. Right?” She paused to get a response from me. I had turned my attention back to the living room walls. At her question I mumbled something to the effect of sure. “And Spike, oh my God, there is this new boy at school. His name is Joshua and is in two of my classes. We were talking and I told him about the Bronze. So, if he goes this weekend will you take me?”

“A boy. You’re too young. No.” I didn’t even bother to look at her. After the fiasco last Halloween I didn’t trust her judgment about boys. And I would have to find a way to kill anyone that touched her.

“I am not too young. Buffy was dating at my age. And she was with Ang…” She stopped when she realized what she said. That argument wouldn’t get her anything she wanted.

“And look how that turned out. No.” Not going to go there. Just ignore it and keep going.

“Spike, please. Giles already said yes. And we’ll invite everyone else so you won’t be bored. And you’ll be there to watch me.”

“Giles said yes without checking with me?” Didn’t believe that one for a minute.

“Well, he said if you said yes then he would.” She pleaded. Before I even turned around I knew she had that look. Giles wouldn’t want her to go without one of us with her. And because he sure didn’t want to hang out at the Bronze to watch her.

“Why me? Why not ask one of the girls?’

“Because. Please.”

“Don’t you have homework?”

“Yes. And the sooner that you agree I can get started and you can continue your wallpaper dance.” Laughter laced her voice as she reminded me of my earlier unguarded moment. I had a feeling that I would be reminded of it quite often. “Or I can tell everyone that Spike likes to dance.”

“Go ahead.” Not going to give into blackmail. Not even for her.

“Pleeeeeeese.” She was on her last tactics. The whine. The one thing that really irritated me. She reminded me of Harmony when she did that. And that was not a good trip down memory lane.

“Fine. Everybody else goes. I’ll go.” She had her agreement but on a condition so there was still hope it wouldn’t go through.

“Thank you, Spike.” I turned to look over at her as she opened her books and settled down to her homework.

But of course it was me and my luck. Sometimes I really thought that everything was stacked against me because everyone decided to go. Friday night found me waiting for Willow and Tara to pick me up. To go chaperone Dawn. Xander and Anya were picking her up and we were all meeting there. She had called me earlier to tell me thank you again. And to give me rules to follow around this boy. No threatening looks. No warnings. No stalking them all over the place. And no embarrassing her. I never agreed. And I am sure that the others wouldn’t either.

It was in the car that Tara told me the one thing that really made my night. Dawn was up to her old tricks. She had invited Buffy and Richard to meet us there. Not only would I have to put up with him, but I looked a loser because I was the only single one there. Dawn was in trouble. Every single one of those rules would be broken now. She had no idea what torment was. But she would tonight.

The three of us were the last ones there except for Buffy and Richard. Dawn was all dolled up looking older than she should. As we all stood there talking and saying hi. She suddenly grabbed my arm digging her nails in.

“He’s here. Oh my God. He’s here.”

“I kind of figured that. Would you like to let go of the arm?” Sarcasm laced my words. This was not setting too well with me. I looked up and Xander wasn’t looking any happier than me. Then we turned to look at this boy that had Dawn all in a tizzy. He came walking up to us with Dawn being the only thing he was looking at. I gave him a quick once over just to set the kill factor. He was almost as tall as I was with black curly hair and gray eyes. I guess the girls would call him good looking. Hmmph he still wasn’t good enough for her.

Dawn introduced him to all of us. She left me for last.

“Josh, this is my brother, Spike.” I looked down her in surprise. “Well, kind of like my brother.”

Dawn was still holding out on the Buffy and me thing. That was the only reason for that comment that I could think of. He put his hand out for me to shake. I looked down at it hesitating for a moment then reached out to shake it. Even if I was going to torment Dawn I would try to give him a chance. Josh asked her to dance then reached for her hand to lead her to the dance floor with him.

”I’ll kill him if he lays a hand on her.” Xander and I said at the same time then looked at each other and laughed. Dawn was not going to have an easy time with dating. Not with the two of us watching out for her.

“So, what’s so funny?” Buffy suddenly appeared next to me with Richard right behind her.

“These two protecting Dawn from her new boyfriend.” Anya supplied the answer because everyone else was a little tense. It was still the Richard and me thing. We hadn’t been in the same place since the last time we were all at the Bronze. And the night that was a fiasco. I just took a step back away from everyone. Let them make the first move.

But Buffy got all excited about seeing what Josh looked like. She took off with the girls to go and check him out. To do that girl talk thing which they couldn’t do with us men around. But this unfortunately left Richard, Xander and I standing there in an awkward silence. I had made my peace with things but that didn’t mean I wanted to socialize with him. Xander stood between us trying to figure out what to say. Since neither of us were offering any conversation starters.

“Anybody wanna play a game of pool.” Xander offered as a way out of this uncomfortable situation. It was one way of us doing something that wouldn’t involve much more than idle talk. Richard agreed but I told them I would catch up with them later and headed for the bar.

Richard came to lean against the bar next to me just as they were delivering the beer I had ordered. I gave him a sidelong look as he ordered himself one. After the bartender went off to get it he looked over at me.

“I do love her.” He said to me as he started to play with a napkin shredding it by the corner.

“And do you want me to say congratulations or something.” I didn’t even bother to turn and look at him. Honestly, I could care less how he felt. She was the only one that I was concerned about.

He gave a small forced laugh at my comment.

“No. Wasn’t expecting anything from you. Just wanted you to know that I do care about her. I wasn’t looking for anything then bam one day she was there. Never met anyone like her before.”

His beer was brought over to him and I waited while he paid for it. He started to play with the beer bottle moving it around in circles. Then he took a long swig of it.

“She told me some stuff about the two of you. How much you have always been there for her. And that you agreed to let her go so she could figure things out.” He paused for a minute as he blinked his eyes a few times. I finally turned to him.

“And why are you telling me all this? Do you expect us to become chums or something?” I was feeling a little bit exasperated with him. If that’s what he wanted then he was in for a surprise because he wasn’t getting it.

He still didn’t look at me as he kept playing with the bottle. I sighed as I looked out over the crowd. Just as I was starting to step away he started talking again.

“You have this really strong bond with her. A past that I can’t compete with. And it’s not like she left you because you were a bastard or anything. That I could fight. But when we’re together it’s like a big piece of her isn’t there.”

I stepped back to lean against the bar facing him.

“And I know that part of her is with you. No matter what she decides I’ll never have that piece of her heart. It’s always going to be yours.” He finally looked up at me. As my eyes met his I realized that we were both feeling the same when it came to her. Confusion and helplessness. I closed my eyes and threw my head back. Trying to fight the feeling of empathy I was having for him.

Looking back over the crowd again I tried to figure what to do next. If Buffy was with him I knew he had to be alright. And he was a friend of Xander’s too. It was only two more weeks until he left for Dallas anyway. Maybe with a bit of effort I could be civil to him.

“Xander said that he was helping you tomorrow to put in your new cabinets. If you’d like I could come over and help. Bring one of my buddies to make it easier.” He offered like I would actually accept.

Then I saw her standing by the stairs looking at me. When she realized who was next to me she started to hurry toward us. I turned back to him before she could get there.

“Yeah, that would be great. I’d appreciate the help.”
It seemed the best thing to do at the time. Give in to him. And his scheme to be the better man. I don’t know maybe he was being sincere. Probably was. But if I didn’t go along then it would be my fault. Didn’t need to lose anymore ground. Besides I wasn’t worried about the competition. There wasn’t any as far as I was concerned.

Xander was the first to arrive at my house on Saturday. And as we were setting up a plan for the day Buffy and Richard showed up with his friend, Sam. As Richard and Sam came into the house they started to look around. Noticing the blankets that covered most of the window. Of course, he had to ask about them. Buffy and I looked at each other and I shrugged. Let her deal with it. He was her problem. She quickly stammered out I had some kind of skin condition making me sensitive to sunlight. He looked at me kind of funny but left it at that. But, oh well, didn’t really care what he thought of me.

Last to arrive was Josh. The boy was smart and had figured out last night that his biggest obstacle to Dawn was Xander and I. Of course, Giles and Buffy held the final say so on whether or not she could date. But he knew he didn’t stand a chance if we didn’t like him. When he had heard the plans for the day he had volunteered to help. And we had accepted. It would give us a chance to get to know him some more.

Being how Sam also worked with Xander and Richard, the three of them took over the installation of the cabinets with Josh and me helping. I ended up being glad that they took over because it ended up being a faster process than it would have been otherwise. They knew what they were doing and I probably would have been more of a hindrance as I learned the process.

Buffy stayed in the living room most of the day watching television or reading the magazines she had brought. I knew why she had come. To make sure Richard and I didn’t end up in a brawl. Not that there would have been much of one with the chip in my head. At least I thought I knew why she was there because as the day progressed she started to watch me. It was subtle at first then it was more and more. Her eyes bore into me but as soon as I turned around she would look away. Then I started to look at Richard when she did it but he didn’t seem to notice. I decided to ignore it as we continued to get the cabinets in.

Around four the rest of the girls showed up. They had brought pizza, wings and some snack foods with them. And beer and soda to drink. They let us know that it was time to stop whether we were done or not. Dawn was carrying some movies they had rented for us to watch. Apparently, the four of them had spent the afternoon shopping and had decided to surprise us. I suspected that it was actually Dawn’s plan since she knew Josh was over. Tara confirmed my suspicions later. And told me they had gone along with it because they didn’t want to disappoint her. And they had liked the boy.

The last couple of weeks I had started getting use to having the Scoobies over but there were other people there now. People who had no clue what I was or the kind of life that the group actually lived. I tried to stay in the background while I got comfortable with them there. Especially Richard. He assumed the boyfriend role again as we started to relax. After everyone had helped themselves to the pizza and wings I went over to fix myself a plate. As I was reaching for some food when she came to stand beside me her hip brushing against mine. I looked at her but she didn’t look back. Then her arm brushed against mine as she took a piece of pizza for herself. Then without saying anything or even looking at me she returned to sit next to Richard.

I settled down into my chair as Dawn put the movie in. She sat on the floor with Josh in front of the television. Xander and Anya were across from me in the big chair. On the couch were Tara, Willow, Buffy and Richard all crammed in beside each other. I guess Richard didn’t mind as he put his arm around her. That left poor Sam to lean against the corner of the couch next to Willow. As the movie played every once in a while I would look over and Buffy would be watching me. But while she did it she was snuggled into Richard’s side. It just didn’t set right with me. She couldn’t have everything her way. I forced myself to become absorbed into the movie and ignore what she was doing. If she wanted to stare then she could.

As the movie finished up she stood to go and get another soda. As she passed me she laid her hand on my shoulder. Just a light touch but it startled me. I looked over at Richard but he was too busy talking to Sam and Xander to notice. She had spent the last couple of months avoiding me and not being alone with me. Now, she was looking at me and touching me. Teasing me. I wondered if this was a game or if she thought I wouldn’t care. Or if she was deliberately trying to start something.

Before they put the second movie in to play I went to my room to get some blood. Buffy was still up getting a drink. But Richard was behind me so I didn’t approach her. After it was heated up I crouched down to drink it. Leaning against the wall for support. I looked up in surprise when she came into the room. But as she came in she left the door ajar. I assumed it was so no one would get suspicious of us being alone in here.

“What do you want, Buffy?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean with everybody here. And Richard.” She was looking everywhere but at me.

“Why aren’t you being honest? Don’t you think if I wasn’t comfortable that I would have done something about it?” I stood and walked closer to her. She took a step back but I didn’t advance again. Stood there and watched her expression as I took another drink.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry I was just checking on you.” She turned to leave but I grabbed her arm as I set my mug on the top of the fridge.

“What are you doing?” Buffy turned to look at me. Her eyes met mine unguarded. I could see the desire that was burning in their depths.

“Nothing. I’m sorry. I was just checking on you.”

“Not that. I’m talking about this.” Without breaking contact with her eyes I ran my finger along the side of her neck. Her eyes closed as a shudder ran through her.

“Don’t.” Her voice hoarse as her heart beat increased speed.

“Then why did you start? With the looks and the touches?”

Buffy leaned toward me a little closer then pulled away again. Her eyes were back on my chest again.

“I wasn’t starting anything.”

“Buffy, damn it.”

Then she shushed me as we heard a noise in the hallway. I walked over to check it out and when I didn’t see anyone there I closed the door. Her eyes widened as I walked back over to her. Let them think whatever they wanted.

“Just tell me one thing then you can run back to your boyfriend. Are you just horny?”

Her mouth opened then closed.

“You pig.”

She tried to walk around me but I stood in her way.

“I’ve heard that before. So, are you horny? Would either of us do? Or is it me? Or is it him? Don’t mean to offend you but I’m just trying to figure out what kind of game you’re playing?”

“I’m not playing a game.” Buffy defended herself.

She kept trying to dance around me but I wouldn’t let her by. She finally stopped moving and I thought I was going to get my answer when Tara opened the door.

“Ummm, guys. Your absence is becoming noticeable.”

We both turned to look at her and this time when Buffy moved past me I let her go. At the door she stopped and looked at me over her shoulder.

“It’s you.” Then she slipped out the door. I reached for my blood and drank it down in two swallows while I thought about what she had said. I didn’t know if her comment was good or bad. It didn’t really leave me room to move.

For the rest of the night she avoided me. Avoided looking at me. Avoided touching me. Tara kept looking from me to her. Trying to figure out what was going on between us. When I caught her eyes once she smiled at me in amusement. I had an insane urge to stick my tongue out at her. But restrained myself. At the end of the second movie everybody broke up and started to leave.

On the way out the door Tara hugged me and wished me good luck in my ear. I squeezed her a little harder and told her to keep wishing. Dawn and Josh had to be shepherded out of the empty dining room. She wasn’t happy that they weren’t given any time alone. But she didn’t need to rush anything. I made a mental note to talk to Buffy about her.

Richard and Buffy were the last ones out the door. I thanked Richard for his help and then he went on out to say good-night to Xander.

Buffy stood next to me as I leaned on the door.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She was whispering so that no one would hear her.

“It’s okay. I realize I am irresistible.” I leaned down to whisper it in her ear.

She laughed when she realized I wasn’t mad at her about it. It would leave me alone with my hand later but I was getting used to it. After all this time of being away from her it was the only thing I was getting.

“Yeah, you are.” A slow blush crossed her face as she realized she had said it out loud. “Oh, God. Look, Richard and I are going to a game tomorrow. Can you handle patrol tomorrow night?”

“Do you have any doubts on what I can handle?”

Her blush became a darker red then she turned to walk out onto the porch. She paused and turned to look at me again.

“I’ll see you Monday to patrol? Okay?”

“Whatever you want to do Monday is fine by me.”

It was my turn to laugh as I shut the door on her. I was still alone but felt better knowing that it was getting to her too. And she had promised me that she wouldn’t do anything with Richard so that meant she was left to feel as frustrated as me. Actually, Richard was probably feeling as frustrated as we were which was fine by me. I kept laughing all the way back to my room as I thought about. But I sobered up when I got there. I could smell her perfume and arousal still hanging in the air. I groaned in frustration because it was back to me, my hand and a few good memories of Buffy.

Feel Like Makin' Love

Chapter 38 - Feel Like Makin’ Love


Baby, when I think about you, I think about love
Darling, I don’t live without you and your love
If I had those golden dreams of my yesterday
I would wrap you in the heaven, but they lay dying on the way
Baby, If I think about you, I think about love
Darling, if I live without you, I live without love
And if I had the sun and moon, and they were shining
I would give you both night and day, love satisfying
Feel like makin’…
Feel like makin’ love, feel like makin’ love to you
Bad Company



Before I went patrolling with Buffy and Xander on Monday night I had run out to take care of a couple of things. Needed to pick up some blood and smokes. On the way back to my place I stopped into Willie’s for a quick drink. I told myself that I needed a little fortitude before spending time with her again. The exchange between us on Saturday night had kept repeating itself in my mind. Then my imagination would take over and she never left my room that night. Yeah, I was going to respect her wishes but it was driving me crazy knowing that she was as hungry as I was.

I sat at a corner of the bar and sipped at a double whiskey. There were some new faces in the mix tonight. New vamps that I hadn’t seen around before. There were four of them gathered around a table in the corner with their heads leaned close. A sure sign that something was up with them. I asked Willie if he knew anything but he just shook his head at me. I moved behind them to head for the pay phone. They kept talking as I pretended to make a call. All I heard was something about the ‘goods’ and that it was in an abandoned warehouse off of Essex Road. Then they shut up when they realized I was listening.

After that I left in a hurry because I didn’t want to confront them myself. Besides a little investigation was in order. It would give us something to do tonight on patrol other then walk around in circles hoping to run across some baddies. Buffy and Xander were waiting for me when I finally got home. They had made themselves at home sprawled in my furniture watching television.

“About time. I thought we agreed to meet at nine.” She said it with sarcasm but her eyes revealed that she was joking. I reached out and tugged her ponytail as I passed by. Letting the strands run through my fingers as I continued to my room. I put the blood away and after taking a pack of cigarettes out I put the rest of them on the dresser.

“I got a lead on some new vamps.” I told them when I came back into the living room plopping down onto the couch next to her. My knee rested against hers. I felt her look at me but I kept my eyes on Xander. “There were four of them over at Willies. Talking about a warehouse over on Essex. Thought we might check it out.”

Xander and Buffy agreed with my plan so we stocked up on weapons and headed out. We decided to walk to give us more room for quick maneuvering. She walked on the other side of Xander from me. I let her have her space for now.

When we got to the warehouse we circled it. The main door was in the front and most of the windows had boards over them. In the back there was a window with no covering but it was high off the ground.

“Step up, Buffy.” She looked down at my cupped hands and back at me. I sighed in exasperation. “Come on, step up and check out the place.”

Buffy backed up and put her foot into my hands and balanced herself on the wall as I lifted her up.

“Stop.” She called down to me. Her hands rested on the windowsill as she tried to peer into the building. When she told me to stop her ass was right in front of my face. I closed my eyes and groaned to myself. The woman was going to torture me to death one way or another.

“What do you see, Buff?” Xander asked her when she was silent for a few moments. He was looking up at her. I couldn’t resist it as I leaned forward bringing my nose right at the place where her cheeks started to curve. Right where her sweet womanhood ended. Inhaled the fragrance that was all Buffy.

“Ahhh.” She jumped as my face made contact with her. Then lost her balance falling backwards. As she came down I wrapped my arms around her and took her weight as we hit the pavement. She scrambled off of me as I laughed up at her.

“Sorry, I got dizzy for a moment.” I reached my hand up to her for help that I didn’t need. She surprised me when she grabbed it and pulled me to my feet. The look in her eyes let me know that she didn’t believe me for a second about getting dizzy. But was actually amused by my actions.

“You guys, okay?” It was Xander looking at us worriedly. I think we had both forgotten he was there for a minute.

“Yeah, I think we’re fine. Didn’t see anything. Doesn’t look like anyone is in there.” She said to him in an effort to cover up my actions.

“Well, then let’s go in and have a look around. Shall we?” I suggested getting things back on track. As much fun as I was having playing with Buffy I was serious about getting things checked out. We moved around the building. They kept an eye out as I picked the lock.

“Haven’t lost my touch.” I told them as the door swung open. We treaded carefully into the darkness of the building. Xander was holding the flashlight so I let him lead the way. Buffy and I had senses that he didn’t have so we could keep a feel out for things that couldn’t be seen.

The main room of the place was empty except for rats and trash left by crashers. We moved to start checking out the offices. As we turned to go down this one hallway with Buffy in the lead she sent us off into different offices to check things out. Her reasoning was that it would be faster if we did it that way. Neither of us were picking up on anything, demon or human, being there. So, we split. Xander moved through the front offices while we headed for the back ones.

I stopped to check out one office as she moved down the hallway to check out another. There wasn’t anything in this place but junk. It was beginning to look like it was a bust. That the vamps were talking out of their ass about the ‘goods’ when I heard her yelp. Then there was the sound of something crashing. I took off at a run to find her. Xander was already heading down the hallway and I fell in behind him.

“Guys, a little help would be appreciated.” It was Buffy calling out to us. Apparently, she was holding her own but needed help soon.

As we turned to go into the office one of the vampires came flying out. That was my girl. Xander turned into the office leaving me to stake the one she had served up. After his dust was blowing down the hall I joined the two of them. I paused as I entered the room. It was full of appliances, televisions and other stuff still in their boxes. All new stuff stolen from stores or right off the trucks. Score one for my side I told myself as I headed into the fray. Xander was struggling with one of them while the other two were fighting with Buffy. Deciding to help her first I moved toward them. But she had turned and the vamp pushed her my way. I put my hands up to catch her and got tits. She landed right in my hands. But there was no time to enjoy the spoils of the fight.

“Oooomph.” She put her hands on my chest and kicked her leg out to catch one of the vamps in the chest. He went flying across the room with her following him. She had a stake in her hand to dust him before he had time to recover from her kick.

That left the other one for me. We struggled for a few moments before Buffy came up behind him and staked him from behind. We looked over at Xander but he was standing there in the dust that was the vampire he had been fighting.

“Yeah, for our team. Four vampires dusted and half the stolen loot in Sunnydale found.” Xander congratulated us on our victory. We left everything there and called the police from the corner. I joked with Xander that maybe we should work with the police since this was the second time that we had done their job.

It was a bit of a letdown from the rush we just had but we decided to patrol through a couple of the cemeteries. This time Buffy walked between us. As we walked along she would brush against me every so often. The air surrounding her carried a cloud of her arousal. I knew it was a combination of the fight and me. I looked over at Xander but he was clueless. Shaking my head I felt sorry for human men missing out on the sweetest aroma in the world. They just couldn’t smell it the way we could. Their women calling out to be claimed and they practically had to be on top of them for them to notice.

The longer we walked the harder I got. The call from her got stronger. All I wanted to do was send Xander home and pull her down into the grass and make her mine again. To feel her skin against mine. To feel her heat surround me. To feel her breath against me. To hear her cry my name out to the night.

As we headed back to my house she suddenly tripped landing on her knees. I hurried to her and reached a hand out to her. She reached for me and looked up freezing when she saw my erection straining against my jeans. As she stood her eyes moved up my body stopping when she looked into my eyes. Her tongue darted between her lips and then retreated into her mouth as she tried to swallow away the dry mouth.

I hoped that she would tell Xander to go ahead without her that she was staying with me. But she left with him in the car. I wasn’t going to ask. It had to be her decision on whether or not to be with me.

If I went to her house I knew that I could seduce her. That it would take only a few touches before we were naked and straining toward each other. But tomorrow it would only be another reason for her to push me away.

As they turned the corner a third alternative came to me. Yeah, it would be a poor substitute but it would be better than me alone with my fantasies and my hand. Quickly moving back into my bedroom I threw my cell phone down onto the bed and pulled my clothes off. I reached into my dresser and grabbed the baby oil. Stretching out onto the bed I watched the clock and waited. Eight minutes for Xander to drive her home, four minutes for them to chat and say goodnight, five minutes to get into the apartment and fix a drink. She was moving down the hallway as I coated myself with the oil.

In my head I ran through her motions so that I would know when the time was right. She was sitting on the edge of the bed pulling off her shoes and socks. Her hands ran up the inside of her thighs as she kicked her shoes away. Then she stands walking over to the closet. Reaches down and pulls her shirt over her head. Her hands caress her stomach moving toward her breasts. She cups them then moves to unfasten her bra. Freeing them from their restraint. They are cupped again as she runs her thumbs over nipples. Tweaking them. Her hands move down to unfasten her pants. Spreading out to move them over her hips and down her legs. Bending over her ass in the air. She steps from them leaving them on the floor. A quick drink to keep her throat from being dry then she turns to lie down on the bed. Shifting so she is in the middle. One hand goes back to a breast. Massaging it. While her free hand moves down her belly to her quim. Her legs fall apart as she separates herself sliding in to find the center of her pleasure.

Time to call. Press the button to dial her number. It rings then voice mail. Dial it again. Voice mail. Dial it again. Voice mail again. Damn it. Come on Buffy. It’s an emergency as my free hand wraps around my cock. Fourth try.

“Spike, what is it?” Her voice is breathless and exasperated at my intrusion.

“I know what you are doing.” I whispered to her. My tone reflected the depth of my need to be with her. “Because I am doing it too.”

“Mmmmh, Spike, I was in the shower.” She lies to me as her breathing gains speed.

“Yeah, you are all wet, aren’t you?”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Hang up and I’ll come over.”

“Don’t do that. Unnnnnnh.” She groans in my ear. The girl wasn’t stopping for anything.

“Just admit that you want my hot, tight, body.” I chuckled as I imagined her lying there with her hand buried between her legs. My rhythm begins to pick up speed.

“Your body isn’t hot.”

I was about ready to retort something equally rude back to her when she surprised me. She just let it go. It was past the time to stop for either of us.

“It’s cool. When I’m burning up. Feeling like I am about to catch fire. Mmmmh, you come to cover me and you feel so cold. It sends chills through my body. My toes curl and it’s like an orgasm all in its self.” Her breathing was getting heavier and I wished I were there to watch the changes in her. Her face flushed and the green of her eyes darkening as her need increased.

She was too far away from me as I arched into my hand. I started to pant in time with her. Needing to share this moment with her. Slow it down. Ease up or I wouldn’t be there at the end.

“Tell me what you were fantasizing about, Baby.” I beg her to keep me going. To keep feeding me her fire as we moved together.

“Oooooh, God.” She paused as she caught her breath. “We were in the cemetery. I was lying on the bench next to the big oak tree.” Her breath caught and she moaned low in my ear. “You pull my pants off while kneeling in front of me. I put my feet on your shoulders and you use your tongue on me. Please, Spike, give it to me. Take me over. “

There is a cry to her voice as asks me. Begs me to satisfy her.

“Buffy, prop the phone up to your ear.” I gave her a minute to do it. Listened to the phone being shifted and her head moving against it until it is secure. “Reach over and grab an ice cube out of your drink.”

“Mmmmmmh.” She shifts on the bed and I hear the ice rattling against glass. “Now, what? Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Hold it in your hand and rest it on your stomach. Right above your curls.” I smiled as she hissed from the cold. “Move it slowly. So, slowly up your stomach.”

“Spiiiiiike.” Her call to me is primal in its need. I have stopped my motions with my cock. I was so ready to cum just from listening to her that I didn’t need any physical contact to keep the momentum up.

“Is it up near your breasts?”

“Yeah.”

“Take it over your nipple. Circle it just like it was my tongue. The way it makes you scream.’

Then she did give a small scream as she followed my instructions.

“Take your fingers and put them in you. Thrust them as you circle your clit with your thumb.” I was starting to take her home.

“They don’t reach like your fingers do. You feel so much better.” She got out to me between gasps and moans. I smiled knowing just how good I could make her feel.

“Ok, baby, take your fingers out.”

“Mmm, huh?’

“Lick them for me. Please.”

I almost shot my load as I heard her licking and sucking on her fingers. This woman had gone from nervous learner to taking everything I suggested. If only she wouldn’t throw us away.

“Home stretch, pet. You still got the ice? If not get more.”

I heard the ice against the glass again. The other cube must have melted across her hot flesh leaving trails of sizzling water against her. I reached down and encircled myself again.

“What do I do with it?’” Her voice trembled in my ear.

“Take it down between your legs. Keep the one hand on your clit, baby. Keep stroking.”

“Unnnnnh-huh?”

“The hand with the cube take it all the way down to the bottom of your lips.” Stopped for a second to give her a chance to get positioned. “Separate them with it. Move it right over your entrance. Don’t put it in though.”

“Uncomfortable.”

“Scoot down and use your feet against the footboard for leverage to curl yourself up.” She was the slayer. Her body could move anyway she wanted it to. I heard a grunt as she started to stroke herself again. “Circle your finger around your clit as you move the ice cube over your entrance.”

“Ooooooooooh, mmmmmmmmmmmh.”

“You ready?” I knew she was from the noises she was making.

“Spiiiiike, please.”

“Without removing your one hand, move the ice up your slit. Slow and easy, baby. Now, with both hands move it over your clit. Circle it.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaah.” She nearly split my eardrum with the scream she gave as the ice met her core sending her into her orgasm. I turned my attention back to myself stroking myself to join her. Cum squirted all over my hand and stomach as I found release.

We lay there for a moment as I listened to her breathing slow down. Then I heard her hand take the phone again and her swallow as she took a drink.

“Spike?’ She whispered to me with what I hoped was awe in her voice.

“Do you know what I wish?” I didn’t want to hear recriminations or regret in her words. So, I ignored her questioning of my name.

“What?” She allowed herself to be moved away from her first thoughts.

“I wish I was there to lap you dry.”

Then I hung up the phone and moved to the bathroom to take a shower. I felt better than I had in a very long time.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Chapter 39 - Somewhere Over The Rainbow


Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
One day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why oh why can't I
E Y Harburg



It was typical Buffy. What else should I have expected? That she would come running to me afterwards and declare that she would never leave me. It had the opposite effect. No word from her in two days. She had spoken to Xander and told him that she would handle patrolling alone. My phone calls had gone unanswered. Well, my phone call. The more I pushed the more she would run. So, I left her alone.

It was Wednesday when she finally came to see me. I was finishing hanging the wallpaper in the kitchen and had opened the windows to cool it off some. A breeze brought her scent to me. It was faint but indistinguishable. When she didn’t show up for a few minutes I followed it. She was out there somewhere trying to figure out how to approach me. So, I helped her out by going to her.

I found her sitting on the bench where her fantasy had taken place. She was leaning back on her hands with her hair flowing out behind her. It was luminous in the moonlight and the breeze was gently making it dance. Her face upturned to the night. Her breathing was soft and even almost as if she were meditating. I hesitated behind her afraid to break the serenity of the mood. Maybe she wasn't ready to face me and I would only be starting trouble if I approached. I wondered if I should turn and go back home.

“Spike."

She whispered my name not even opening her eyes or turning to me. I took a few more steps toward her moving around the bench to stand in front of her. She brought her head down and opened her eyes. To look directly into mine holding their gaze. I tried to read what she was thinking but they were hooded. Not giving the secrets away.

Growing more nervous under her stare I looked away as I fumbled through my pockets for my cigarettes. But I had left them at home. I didn't understand why she wasn't saying anything. Unable to take it anymore I turned back to look into her eyes again. A smile graced her face when I met her gaze. She stood and took a few steps.

"Let's walk."

She waited for my assent before she started to move again. I fell into step beside her. I wish she would say something. Anything to indicate how she felt about the other night. Was she just going to ignore that it ever happened? She didn't seem to be angry or hurt or vengeful. There was an air of contemplative peace about her. Her stride was easy like it was just a stroll she was seeking.

"Buffy?"

I couldn't hold out anymore. My need to have something definitive to hold onto was stronger than anything else at the moment was. Even her anger would be welcome. Rather than this feeling of free falling.

"Yes?"

"What's going on?"

"We're walking through a cemetery at night." She turned to me and smirked. It was deliberate this leaving me hanging. A way to torture me and punish me for the other night.

"Smart ass."

Then she laughed softly. It was a melodious sound that echoed around us. My hands came to rest on my hips as I stared at her. Trying to decide what I should be feeling. So many things were going through me at the moment. One of which was choking her to death and dumping her body on Richard's doorstep. Another was to drag her back to the house and lock her in the attic until she agreed to be mine. Or the most logical was just to walk away and leave her there. Turn the torture back on her.

I turned to go when she reached out for my arm.

"I'm sorry, Spike. Don't go."

Then she giggled again and that did it. I reached for her and started to tickle her. She struggled against me not really fighting to get away. Then my hands turned to move over her slowly reacquainting myself with the curves of her body. She cuddled into me her arms wrapped around my waist. Her nose buried in the crook of my neck inhaling my scent. One of us groaned as I reached down to cup her bottom and pulled her to me.

Her hands came to my shoulders and pushed me away. I knew it had to be too good to last. The world fell away as I wanted to die from the wanting and needing of her. All the pain that had become a dull ache from time came slamming back through me. Then her hands moved from my shoulders to cup my face as a tear found its way down my face. I wanted to pull away from her but my heart just wanted to take whatever I could get. There had been a part of me that had hoped that the weekend and Monday would convince her to be with me. It had been a foolish dream that I was now paying for.

"Don't cry, baby. Please don't cry now."

Her words pleading with me not to hurt from her anymore.

"I can't do that."

I stepped back from her and wiped at my face with the heel of my hands. Would the tears ever stop falling? Would the pain ever go away? She sighed as she watched me.

"Damn it. I'm sorry that this hurts. And that it doesn't suit your purposes."

I turned to start walking home.

"Spike, I need to talk to you. Please?"

"What do you want to say? That it was a mistake and I was a bastard for taking advantage of you? That…."

I hadn't turned around because the tears were falling again. But before I could finish her arms were around me. Her face pressed to my back.

"No. Not a mistake. You never have been nor will you ever be a mistake. Do you understand me?" Her words were fierce in their intensity as they tried to break through my wall of defense. I froze as something inside wanted to believe her. A curl of hope rose from my desperation.

"Buffy, don't say something that you don't mean."

She loosened her hold and turned me to face her.

"We need to talk. Can you listen to me with an open mind?"

All I wanted was to bury myself somewhere and try to forget everything. I wanted to believe in us so badly but it just wasn't turning out the way I wanted it too. At this point I was so sure she was going to leave with him that I just wanted it over with. But I had to hear her out. Hopefully, she wouldn't take long to finish breaking my heart. So I told her yes that I would listen to her.

She reached out for my hand and started to walk again.

"What happened scared me. The whole thing from Friday to Monday showed me how vulnerable I am to you. Not necessarily in a bad way but how easily you move me. I thought about things, then I talked to Richard, then to Sara, and then talked to Richard again."

"You told him what happened?" I stopped and pulled her to face me. I couldn't believe she would do that.

"No. No. There is no way I would tell him that. "

She shook her head and then took a step closer to me.

"I don't know how to say this. I really don't. Not without hurting you now or possibly later. Of protecting you or giving you false hope." There was so much confusion clouding her face. Whatever she wanted to tell me had her torn up. And it wasn't going to be said casually or without a lot of thought.

"Just say it. Whatever you decided just say it and let me deal. Instead of this dance you're doing."

She moved away from me to sit on a tombstone folding her hands in her lap.

"Richard came over last night. And we talked for awhile. His last day working with Xander is Friday. Then Saturday he is flying to Dallas for a week. Did I ever tell you his family is there? That's why he's going."

She looked up at me and I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't give a shit.

"He likes you."

Great! Make me feel guilty for hating him. She smiled quickly then turned her gaze back to the grass at my feet.

"I know that if…if he was staying here that I couldn't continue to date him."

I was right. She was going to leave with him.

"So, you're going to fucking go off to Dallas to be with him. I give up, Buffy. Go. Do whatever. I don't care anymore."

My temper didn't even let her finish. Every moment of not being good enough had risen to the occasion. Every moment of being told by someone how I was beneath them wrapped itself around my heart. I turned around and started running off. Blindly without choosing directions. Letting my emotions carry me. I heard her behind me and I tried to pick up speed. Then she jumped landing on my back. Then I was face down on the ground with her straddling my back.

"I knew this was going to happen. No matter how I put it. You've come so far when are you going to start believing in yourself, Spike?" She leaned forward her hands running up my back. Her face was leaning over my shoulder and I could feel her body against me. I tried to push up with my hands to throw her off when she wrapped her arms around me.

"No. You are going to hear me out."

"Can I at least turn over?"

"No. This is tempting enough."

Then she sat back up resting on my back. I sighed and gave up. My head rested on my arms crossed beneath it.

"Richard asked me to go with him next week. He knows he doesn't have my heart here and he just wants to see how I feel away from Sunnydale. I haven't promised him anything. I agreed to go as his friend but with an open mind. He wants me to meet his family and see Dallas."

I hadn't heard anything beyond 'his friend'. She had relaxed some and with my hands I pushed off. As I turned I grabbed her arm to keep from dumping her on the ground. That was better as she settled against my lower stomach. Her hands splayed across my chest.

"And I am not promising you anything either. I don't know. Maybe he is right. I'll get there and everything will become clear. That I belong with him or that maybe I'll just want to be in Dallas."

"Or are you hoping that will happen? Are you just looking for excuses at this point?"

She was giving me hope then taking it away again. I pushed her off and stood up. She scrambled off the ground and brushed dirt and grass off her pants. Then she straightened up looking at me with anger and love in her eyes.

"You know this isn't just some contest between you two. And you agreed to give me the room I needed to figure this out. "

"And I already told you that I don't care anymore."

"Fine. You don't. Good-bye Spike."

Then she turned and walked off. I wanted so badly to yell out for her. To chase her and beg her to take me back. That I would agree to anything. Just let me be a part of her life. One of these day I would learn to keep my pride from talking. To keep it locked away in a corner of me and tape its mouth shut. Just as she was giving me some inkling of hope I had told her to go away. Brilliant move.

It seemed like I stood there forever watching the direction that she had gone in. Hoping that she would come back. But she didn't. I had done it this time. It was time to go home and face the consequences of my actions. Pride and Anger = 1. Love and Trust = 0.

The tears were falling down my face as I approached the house. My vision was blurry through the wetness and I thought I saw her sitting on the steps. Quickly I wiped the tears away and blinked. She was still there. When she heard me approach she looked up to watch me. A smile welcomed me home. I stopped in front of her and waited as she stood.

She reached out to me. Her hand curling behind my head. Her fingers threaded through my hair pulled me to her. Our lips met softly at first. Her tongue came hesitantly to me running across my lips seeking entrance. I opened my mouth and let her in meeting her with the same fervor as her own pursuit. They slid across each other. Circling and dueling. I don’t know how long we stood there kissing. We broke apart a few times for her to take in oxygen then met again in need. Finally she pulled away from me and then wrapped her arms around me. I ran my hands across her back as we stood there.

"Let me see this through. A lot can happen in a week. Maybe you really won’t care anymore by the time I get back. Maybe there I will fall in love with him. I don’t know. But I need to do this."

She squeezed me hard in her arms then let me go. My fingers traced her jaw line then across her lips.

"Go. Go and see that there isn't a big neon sign telling you that's where you belong. But just know this. Don't come back to me if there is any doubt left. I won’t let you leave again."

She nodded and kissed me quickly before walking away. Halfway across the yard she turned around and started to walk backwards.

"Spike, didn't anyone ever tell you that it is rude to hang up on people?" A big grin crossed her face as waited for my answer.

"And you want to give me a lecture on manners?"

"Oh, excuse me. The Big Bad doesn't have to be polite."

She stopped moving for a minute. Her hands propped on her hips.

"That's right."

Then she laughed at whatever joke she thought she had on me.

"Well, Mr. Big Bad, if you hadn't hung up on me I was going to tell you and Little Bad to come over to finish what you started. But, oh well."

She shrugged her shoulders throwing her hands up in the air. Laughing again she turned and walked away into the night.

"Buffy." I whined as she walked away. Yeah, I whined. One of these days I would learn. At least I hoped so as I banged my head against the doorframe.

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