Leonardo's Bride

"Mummy…Daddy…you awake?"

Spike smiled as he rolled over to find his littlest one leaning on the bed. She grinned when she realized her father was awake.

"It's my birthday day," Journey announced with happy pride. "Get up," she pulled on the comforter. "We have lots to do."

"Shhh, baby," Spike whispered, hanging onto the only thing keeping him covered. "Mummy is still asleep."

"Oh," Journey changed to a stage whisper that didn't really alter the volume. "I be quiet."

"Morning, pumpkin," Buffy whispered as she leaned over Spike's side. "I'm awake…now."

"Sorry," their daughter said dutifully but her grin showed that she was anything but apologetic at waking her parents.

Spike slipped onto his back, putting his arm around Buffy to keep her where she was. Thankfully she didn't move away only adjusted herself. Her head was propped on her hand that rested on his stomach. He caressed her back idly while Journey clambered up to sit beside them. His hand cradled his daughter's back to ensure she didn't fall off the high bed.

"Who else is up?" Spike asked, glancing at the clock to see that it was only a little after seven.

"Del got here few minutes 'go," Journey said. "Angel was in the bathroom and Dylan was watching cartoons."

Buffy stiffened at hearing Dylan's name but didn't say anything. The argument the night before had ended at Buffy's announcement. Spike didn't want to say anything else because he couldn't disagree with it. All he could do was take the blame and try to figure out how to prove her wrong or to make the changes that would make things good between them. He just wasn't sure how to get through the wall that was between them.

"Well, sounds like it's time for everybody to get up so we can celebrate, huh?" Spike asked.

"Uh, huh, let's go," Journey said, giggling. "I'm hungry. Del said whatever I want."

"And what do you want?" Buffy asked with one brow rising as she looked at her daughter knowingly.

"Waffles, whipped cream, syrup, cookies and sprinkles."

"Sounds like a tummy ache waiting to happen," Spike said with a grin. "Tell you what; we'll discuss it after I get dressed."

"No, my birthday," Journey declared, crossing her arms and sticking out her lower lip.

Buffy grabbed the lip and pulled playfully on it. "Doesn't matter…you want to save room for the cake and ice cream later."

Journey nodded enthusiastically and Spike knew she would give in about breakfast. Somehow Buffy always found the words to cajole their child into doing the right thing. It made him proud of the woman she had become. And he wondered why he couldn't fully trust her because that's what it came down to after all. He couldn't trust that she would love him completely. Why was he stuck on the memory of the girl who wasn't sure she wanted to be with him? Unfortunately, there wasn't going to be any easy answers. Not this time.

He sighed and lifted Joy to the floor.

"Go sit on the bottom step," Spike said. "Give Daddy a chance to get dressed."

"'kay," Journey said as she skipped across their room.

"Go back to sleep if you want," Spike whispered, kissing Buffy's cheek. "I'll take care of breakfast."

"I'm awake now," she answered moving away as if the affection had only been for show.

Spike slipped out of bed and said, "If you want to take your time…"

"I will…thank you."

Their eyes met from across their bed. It felt awkward between them. Almost as awkward as the feel of holding her body clad in pajamas. It was a rare night that either of them slept with anything on. And he felt rejected. He couldn't be angry though. It was his fault they found themselves in this situation.

He quickly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt while Buffy headed for the bathroom. The door closed behind her and he knew the lines had been drawn between them. She wanted all of him or nothing. He stared at it for a moment before his feet took him in that direction. He wanted to break the door down and shake her even though he knew it was a mistake.

"You coming, Daddy?" Joy called. "Max is up…"

"Yeah, baby," Spike changed his path giving one last glance at the closed door before running down the stairs.

Buffy sighed in relief at the sound of her husband leaving. She needed some time alone and was grateful that he had given it to her. It was just too much to paste on a happy smile and be super mom and wife right now. She wished she could rewind the previous night and start all over. To be able to stop the insecurity that had led to her opening her mouth at all the wrong times.

It all came down the question of what was wrong with her? No matter how great her life was now there was something that took her tumbling back through the years. She stared at her reflection as she thought of all the times she realized she was alone.

Like the last time she had seen her father. She was still in high school. Dawn and she had gone to LA to visit him, never suspecting that when he dropped them off, waving and saying how much he loved them that they would never see him again. There were only a few phone calls more then nothing.

Angel telling her in the sewer of all places that it was over between them. And that he was leaving not only her but town also. Telling her that she deserved to be in the light…her a Slayer…in the light? It didn't work…never had and never would. Didn't he know that? Didn't he know that she loved him with all the hope that was in her young heart and he took that hope away when he left?

The helicopter taking off while she screamed Riley's name and he never looked back. She hadn't been enough. She didn't love him enough and he knew that.

And finally staring into the reflection of her eyes…the memory that tore her apart…the one that made all the other's insignificant filled her mind.

"Damn it, Buffy," she told her reflection. "He came back to you. To you. He put you back together. He loves you. You know that. So, why can't I accept it?"

Because losing him was her greatest fear.

So, she had to fight for him. She had to show him that she was the only person that could love him the way he needed to be loved. With new resolve, Buffy hurried through her shower. Her hair was pulled back but still allowed to cascade down her back. She dressed in a baby blue pullover with a low scoop in the front and a pair of faded jeans that hung low on her hips. Clothes chosen because Spike said he liked her in them. She sprayed his favorite scent on then with a smile on her strawberry glossed lips she headed downstairs.

The kitchen was chaos as usual. Spike stayed out of the way; leaning back against the counter and sipping his morning blood. With amusement he gazed around at the people around him. His family. Del was busy making batches of waffles to feed everyone. Max, Angel and Faith were all sitting at the table, drinking coffee and arguing good naturedly over some training schedules for the younger slayers. Journey was happily stuffing her face with waffles in the seat next to Angel. And Dylan was staying out of the way in the corner. He was holding a glass of orange juice in one hand and an egg sandwich that Del made him with the other.

Buffy made her way into the room. She looked almost uncertain and for some reason he couldn't meet her gaze. It was still uncomfortable between them. She greeted everyone as she made her way to the fridge. He could feel himself tensing as he watched her pull fresh fruit out. For a moment he considered leaving the room but knew he couldn't. This was where he belonged. Buffy stood beside him as she started to cut up the fruit for a salad. There were too many people in the room to try and talk to her so he leaned over to nip her ear. She smiled up at him and he knew it was okay for now. There would be a later to put things right again.

It was then that Cordelia made her way into the room. She headed for the table and Spike watched as Journey tugged on Angel's sleeve. His sire reached over to slide the child onto his lap without hesitation. Cordelia took over the chair that Joy had previously occupied.

"Do you want some?" Journey asked, pushing her plate of waffles in front of Cordelia.

"No thank you, baby," Cordelia responded, brushing back Journey's hair. "I'm not feeling too good."

His daughter patted Cordy's stomach. "Is it icky?"

"Yeah."

Journey nodded and looked up to scan the room. Spike was fascinated by the exchange and continued to watch what his little scamp was going to do.

"Dylan," Journey called, her eyes settling on the young man. "Fix Cordy toast and tea, please. Her tummy not feeling so good."

Everyone in the room stopped talking and turned to look at Dylan. He had the classic caught in the headlights look as he stared stunned at the little girl. No one offered to come to his rescue or help him out. Not even Spike. It was a moment that Dylan would forever distance himself from Spike's family or take a step toward being accepted by them.

"Here," Buffy said quietly. She handed Dylan a loaf of bread. "Keep it light and only a very small amount of butter. I'll make the tea."

"Thanks."

Spike's heart softened as he witnessed his wife's generosity. In spite of her insecurities and own opinion she had offered Dylan a helping hand. Had life blinded him to how much she had changed over the years? She wasn't that young girl anymore. She was a woman that loved him and she deserved so much more than he had given her.

He knew it was time to face his doubts and try to find a way to overcome them. Otherwise he would lose everything he had. Spike looked up to find Dylan staring at him with knowing eyes.

In that moment Spike accepted he had blinded himself from the truth.

Nickelback

The decorating was going on in full force. Raven, Connor and the girls were busy turning the house into a four-year-old’s dream of pink ribbons and balloons. Buffy was in the kitchen with Del cutting up vegetables for the party later. Spike knew she was busy but he had to talk to her. Approaching her from the rear, he slipped his arms around her waist and kissed the curve of her neck.

“Do you think you can slip away with me for a little while?”

“Go ahead, Buffy,” Del said, gesturing toward the back door with her knife. “Faith, Max and Dylan should be back shortly and I’ll get them to help.”

“Okay then, Buffy said. She piled the remaining carrots onto a platter. “We’ve got the cell if someone needs us.”

Spike waited until they were halfway across the backyard before he slipped his hand in hers. Everyone knew there was tension between them and that was part of the reason he wanted to get this settled. Their daughter should have the best birthday party she could without any undue unrest.

Neither said anything as he led her through the cemetery. The peace between them was welcome after the night before. Spike turned his face toward the sun, letting the rays warm him. For so long this had been denied him and now it was his again.

“Sometimes it feels strange for me and you to be together in sunlight,” Buffy said, voicing his unspoken thoughts. She smiled up at him. The happiness in her eyes warmed him and he slipped closer to her until they were walking with their arms around each other. “I’m glad though.”

“Me too,” Spike answered as they came to a stop by their bench. It had seemed forever since they had been here. Their lives too caught up in the daily routine but with a smile he admitted that this was fate. In the early days of their relationship so many decisions had been made here. It only felt right to decide their future here, too.

Buffy settled next to him. Her legs crossed beneath her while he leaned forward on his forearms.

“Promise me something?”

“What’s that?” Spike glanced behind him to stare into eyes that were suddenly wary.

“Be honest. I can handle anything as long as you’re honest.”

“Like you were last night?”

“Yeah,” Buffy answered with a smile that crinkled up her nose.

“You were right. I hate admitting it,” Spike paused with a sigh. “But a part of me still hasn’t forgiven you for not loving me freely. I guess sometimes I wonder if you do love me or if you settled for me.”

“I don’t doubt your love.”

“I’m just a right bastard then, huh?”

“I don’t want to fight with you again.”

“God, Buffy,” Spike exclaimed, rubbing his hands over his face. “I don’t want to fight with you. I mean…are we fooling ourselves? Do we have anything to build on?’

“Our home, our children, friends and family,” Buffy said, putting her hand on his back. “Nine years of being together…I don’t want to lose you.”

Her voice was trembling and he knew he was tearing her apart.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Spike said. “I want us together…I don’t want to tear apart our family.”

“So, how do we get past all the bad stuff?”

Spike didn’t know what the answer was so he didn’t say anything.

“Pet?”

“Yeah?” Buffy asked cautiously.

“Why did you think I wanted to be with Dylan?” Spike asked, turning to face her. “Do you really not trust me to be faithful to you?”

“Woodstock.”

“Woodstock?” Spike asked in confusion. He opened his mouth to ask for an explanation but before he utter a single word, the past shrouded his mind and he was taken back to…

The beat from the song My Generation weaved its spell among the thousands of young people still partying despite the fact that it was three in the morning. The atmosphere was almost serene as Spike made his way through the throng. He’d lost his sandals hours ago so the mud was squishing through his toes. They had disappeared sometime after he had eaten that young man. Ever since then the world had been a crazy kaleidoscope of sensations that he was just floating through.

…from his past that he had wanted the first time he had seen him.

And the beautiful man in his present that wanted him.

Buffy’s meaning had become clear to him. The uncanny resemblance between the boy and the man sent a shiver down his spine. Buffy knew his darkest secrets, his deepest desires and she knew what he had tried to deny. Dylan was his ‘type’. The ones that attracted him back in the days when taking what he wanted was only a game. A pastime that was only fit to amuse him when he was bored.

But those days were gone.

This time the words came easy.

“You were right, Buffy,” Spike confessed with a laugh. “There was a time when seducing Dylan would be what I wanted. He would be a toy that I would use to while away the time. Back when time didn’t mean anything. It stretched out in front of me like it would never end.” He hesitated and turned to look into his wife’s eyes. “Those days are gone though. And yes, I’ve been denying it, tried to hide from it, but you always know the truth somehow.” He shrugged. “I’m not the one to overanalyze things. Writing those books is the only time that I’ve really spent time reliving the past. It’s gone and nothing can change it.”

“And now that…”

“We’ve been through this,” Spike cut her off then sighed. “All right, yes, I’ll admit to that too. There are times when I can feel that Dylan wants me. I feel it, smell it but,” Spike hesitated and looked into his wife’s eyes. “But I don’t want him. He can’t give me what I need.”

“What’s that?”

“Love…unconditional love,” Spike whispered, returning his gaze to his clasped hands. “I’ve always been love’s bitch. Always begging everyone, someone to love me, to accept me as I am but no one did.”

Neither spoke the name of the woman that might have. The woman that almost tore them apart, but even though he had made his choice, it seemed she was still there. With her had begun the journey down this seemingly unending road they were on.

“You don’t think I can?” Buffy asked softly but yet there was steel in her tone.

“Can you?” Spike asked as he stood to gaze down at her. His beautiful Slayer shone in the afternoon sun. She was an untouchable goddess that had come to him when she had hit the ground and he had helped her to stand again…to run again. Still after all these years he could still felt like the dirt beneath her feet and be unable to accept that she could really love him.

So, many times they had hurt each other, tried to kill each other, promises made in battle, and in the heat between them. She had spurred him to make decisions that he never thought he would, regaining his soul, giving up immortality and their children. Their baby…his joy…it was all because of her. Because he wanted to find a way to prove worthy of her heart but she didn’t care about those things. All his mate wanted was his unconditional love.

Something he seemed unable to give.

Buffy met him toe to toe. Her hand cupped his face, caressing him with her thumb.

“The woman I am was forged by your love,” Buffy said, tears filling her eyes. “It’s like you said last night. I am your wife, your mate, the mother of your children and always your woman. I’ve given you your freedom. Let you make your choices…”

“Then why did you send me away?” Spike cried and something echoed in his mind. Another’s cry… Oh, god, Rainbow…wake up, please wake up…Diana, don’t leave me. Was this his punishment? Was all his striving for good not enough? Was he to walk the same road that he had sent countless others on? No, the Powers had favored him and he pushed the thought aside. “Everything’s been fine for years. This fighting and shit all started because you decided that it was better for us if I wasn’t here.”

“I only want you beside me,” Buffy said simply.

He had been sent away because Buffy knew something he didn’t. Because she had seen something that she couldn’t share. Raven knew of it, too. It rocked him to his core as the last of his blinders fell away. The truth that he wanted to hide from was now so real it was if it was carved in stone. The longer he had been away from home and the safe cocoon he’d created, the more he felt the need to finish something. Something was calling to him. He needed to find it and put an end to this once and for all.

“I’m sorry,” Spike said, pulling Buffy against him. “I’m so sorry…I don’t want to go but I know I need to. It’s the only way.”

“I know, William, I know.”

Spike pulled back so he could look into her eyes. “I love you, Buffy, only you. I’m going to come back to you because the only thing I see at the end of this road is you.”

Chapter 14 - The Unicorn Song

When I was growing up my best friend was a unicorn

The others smiled at me and called me crazy

But I was not upset by knowing I did not conform

I always thought their seeing must be hazy.

The unicorn and I would while away the hours

Playing, dancing, and romancing in the wild flowers

And we’d sing,

Seeing is believing in the things you see

Loving is believing in the ones you love

Peter, Paul & Mary

Apparently he had never seen anything like it before. Even Max had to admit it was impressive. They were stacked to the ceiling in a wide variety of colors and size. Dylan let out a soft whistle as he gazed around the large toy store.

“It’s not that bad,” Max said, with a chuckle. “Most of them don’t bite.”

“Yeah, but they beep, whistle, screech, run over your toes, or can be propelled at your head at a hundred miles an hour,” Faith said, with a smile. “Especially in the hands of a four-year-old.”

“I didn’t think that picking something out for her would be that hard,” Dylan said, shaking his head. “I wish I had asked Spike what to get her.”

“Who got his list from Buffy,” Max said, patting the younger man on his back. “It was her you should have asked.”

Dylan only made a sound that sounded like a combination of a laugh and a grunt. The relationship between the Slayer and Spike’s new partner was rocky at best and almost hostile at its worst. Buffy seemed to be more accepting of Dylan since breakfast, but there was still standoffishness about her when it came to him. Max didn’t think Dylan would ever be considered family but as Spike’s family and friends it was their duty to at least get along with him. Well, at least until they found that something that would prove their suspicions correct.

“So, any clues, guys?” Dylan asked, looking back and forth between Max and Faith. “Cuz I am at a loss here.”

It was Max’s turn to shake his head. The only reason he was even there was because he refused to let Faith go anywhere alone with the blonde. It wasn’t that she couldn’t take care of herself, but because he was afraid that she might get interested. Dylan seemed to be more her ‘type’ than he would ever be. And of course it had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted her back. That was a done deal, he told himself as they moved over to look at the dolls.

“Does she have any baby dolls?” Dylan asked.

“Okay,” Faith laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a slight thrust of her chest outwards that Dylan couldn’t miss. “We are talking about Journey here. The daughter of a Slayer and a vampire whose favorite past time is to pretend she is patrolling.”

“Yeah, with Candy the first Slayer dog beside her,” Max added, breaking into Faith’s flirting. He innocently raised an eyebrow when Faith flashed him a dirty look.

“So, nothing too girly or frilly right,” Dylan said, giving Faith an appraising look, lingering for a moment on the swell of her breasts before moving down to her hips encased in black leather.

“Nope, that’s not exactly true either,” Max said in an effort to stop the other man’s visual feasting on the Slayer. “She’s Buffy’s daughter so she is very feminine.” He glanced at Faith. “She’s just a very tough feminine.”

“This is going to be fun,” Dylan muttered under his breath while looking decidedly helpless. “I should have stayed in LA.”

“Nope,” Faith said, casting Max a look that was filled with hurt and anger. “You need to mingle with Spike’s family. Show us how wonderful you are.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dylan said, throwing his arm around her shoulder and throwing Max a look of triumph. “Come on. Let’s see if we can find the kid a present.”

It took Max a second to follow them down the aisle especially when Faith put her arm around the punk’s waist. What was she doing? Last night she was badmouthing him to everyone and today she was falling all over him. Anger bubbled under the surface but he refused to let it out. He pushed it away into that part of him where he hid things that he didn’t want to deal with. With an easy gait he followed them as they wandered through the store.

They looked briefly at video games but they were dismissed. The Blood house had tons of games and they couldn’t be guaranteed to pick one out that they either didn’t already have or someone else had gotten. It was the same with books and games. Spike and Buffy were generous with their children and with the large family there was never a shortage of presents.

“Maybe I should just get a gift certificate or something?” Dylan asked, looking around.

Thankfully the walking arm-in-arm had settled down to handholding so Max had relaxed a little. He looked around the store once more, determined they wouldn’t leave empty handed. He knew if Dylan didn’t get Journey the right present it would never be forgotten. It wasn’t that she was greedy. A flower picked from the garden or even something that had been made for her could bring a delighted smile to her face. It’s just that it was her birthday and she felt it was her right to be adored on that day.

“Come on,” Max said with a small sigh. “I know something that she would probably like.”

“Oh, and you bring it up now,” Faith snapped. “Now that we’ve wandered through this store twice and have found nothing.”

Max shrugged. “Eh, I thought it would be better if it came from Dylan’s view but since that…since he’s inexperienced buying presents for princesses, I’ll help.”

“Thanks ever so,” Dylan said, and even his smile couldn’t hide the sarcasm in his tone. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Max said, leading them to the costume aisle. “Look she’s got a vivid imagination and likes to play dress up a lot. See,” He picked up a package of large scarves in bright colors. “Like with these she can build a tent or drape them around her.” He dropped them and pointed to the different outfits on display. “Or something like this so she has all the accessories for whatever game she’s interested in.”

“This is actually cool,” Faith said as she stared entranced at the costumes. “I never got stuff like this when I was kid.”

”It would have been a lot of fun, wouldn’t it?” Dylan said. He turned his glance to Max. “Bet you had all the cool toys, huh?”

Max only shrugged but knew he was on the outside again because Dylan was right. His childhood had been idyllic with all the right things to make them look like everyone else on the block. He crossed his arms and stepped back as the other two made selections. A part of him gave way as he listened to Faith talk about the different costumes and the games she played in her childhood. The curtains, sheets and her mom’s old castoffs that she had used to fill her make believe hours.

It was too much for Max. It hurt him to hear the pain in her voice and wished she’d let him make it better. He’d give her anything she wanted and would dress her anyway she wanted to. He wanted to see her smiling and happy but knew he wouldn’t give up his pride to do it. No, maybe he would if he thought it would do any good.

“What do you think?” Faith asked, holding a couple of items out for his inspection.

“Perfect,” Max said, and meant it.

They had kept the scarves and had added a pirate’s costume complete with eye patch and plastic sword along with a more traditional girl set which Journey could use to pretend to be several different characters. The little girl would be ecstatic over the choice and it would give her hours of play with them.

“Great,” Dylan said. “Let’s get this stuff paid for and we can go get some lunch before we head back.”

“Sounds good,” Faith said, with a smile. “I know the perfect spot.”

Faith’s perfect spot turned out to be a small sports bar in the middle of downtown. Somehow though it was romantic to her and Dylan, as they drank beer, played pool and ate burgers. The flirtation was going full force between the two and by the time they left, Max was fuming. She was deliberately rubbing his nose in their differences. It wasn’t going to work and he really hoped she wasn’t going to do anything stupid, like sleep with this jerk just to prove a point.

Max barely waited until the jeep stopped in the driveway before he took off. He needed some serious cooling down time before he would say something he’d regret.

“Max, wait a minute,” Faith called before he was even halfway across the backyard. “I want to talk to you.”

Sighing, he stopped, hands on his hips as he waited. She wanted to gloat, cause a scene or make sure his heart was a little more broken and he was going to let her. Just like the fool that he was. He watched as Dylan went by him wearing a smirk. He closed his eyes as he waited for her to start and he almost smiled when she didn’t disappoint.

“What was that?” Faith asked.

“Just doing what you wanted,” Max said, feeling the man slip behind the cold mask of the agent. It seemed a part of him was determined to not let her break his heart anymore, after all. It was a surprise to him but then he was trained to not show emotions so he let it be. “It was the whole purpose of that performance this afternoon, wasn’t it?”

“Performance?” Faith asked, stepping closer to him. “It wasn’t a performance. I like him and think he’s hot. Is there a problem with that?”

“Yeah, when he’s the guy who’s causing trouble in Buffy’s marriage or don’t you care?”

“If he’s paying attention to me then he won’t be causing trouble, now will he?”

“You’ll regret it,” Max said, lowering his eyes to mask his sadness.

It wasn’t really what he meant to say but he was running out of options. Faith was too stubborn for her own good and he knew that the chances of her sleeping with Dylan had just risen. She’d do it just to prove a point. Not to him but to her. She’d do it to show that she really didn’t care about Max.

“Don’t interfere in my life,” Faith spat. “You’re the one who walked away from me.”

“All because Angel wouldn’t approve of me…”

“No,” Faith interrupted with a laugh. “That’s not the reason. Get that through your head. Look at me, Max.” She stepped back and threw her arms wide. “I’m not in your league and I don’t want to be. The only reason I’m out of prison is because the Watcher’s Council pulled some strings. I’ve seen things. Done things that you…”

“What, Faith?” Max said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her so close that he could feel the heat of her breath. “The fact that you killed a man when you were in the middle of a battle makes you unworthy to be loved. I know who you are but you’ve never taken a real look at me. You have no clue who I really am. I’ve looked men and demons in the eye then taken their lives. I never asked if they deserved it or if they were good or bad. I did it because I was ordered to. Because someone felt they were a threat to the common good. Now, what does that make me?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. He didn’t need one. He turned away from her stunned expression to head for the cemetery. The only thing he wanted then was something to pound on, a strong drink or a hard fuck. It wasn’t likely that he would get any of them so he took off running. His friends knew some of the things that he had done while in service of The Guardians but rarely did he talk about it. Buffy and Spike knew because they were among the few people that were privy to his past.

Love was a crazy thing, he thought as he caught a glimpse of Buffy and Spike kissing on their bench. It was never over with when you found the one who fascinated your very soul. And he wondered if he would ever stop loving Faith.

~~~~~~~

The rule was that she couldn’t open her presents until everyone had finished their cake and ice cream. Journey was convinced it was going to take forever for that to happen. She eyed the pile of presents waiting on the table and she could feel her fingers itch with the need to rip them open. She wondered if Daddy had remembered the sequined purse she had spotted in the mall while visiting Angel.

It was apparent that there was going to be lots of new stuff to play with. Mummy had made her go through her toys earlier this week and pick out which ones to get rid of. They would be donated to some kids who didn’t have any. That was okay with her but she didn’t understand why their Mummy’s and Daddy’s didn’t get them presents. She decided that when Daddy was tucking her into bed she’d ask him why.

She picked up her milk glass and took a big drink while scanning the room. Aunt Faith was barely eating her cake because she was too busy making goo-goo eyes at Dylan. Her eyes narrowed when she looked at him. He made her nervous. She didn’t think he really liked her. It was fine with her. Mummy didn’t like him either. Daddy did. She put her glass down and continued around the room. Raven, Sean and the other kids were almost done then there was Angel and Aunt Cordy. She wasn’t eating very much but Joy knew it wouldn’t affect the opening of the presents. Aunt Cordy never ate very much anymore besides she’d given the little girl her present earlier in the afternoon.

Journey patted the locket hanging around her neck. On one side was a picture of her parents and on the other side was a picture of her Angel. Aunt Cordy had taken her on her lap and told her a story about the little girl’s future. It convinced Joy that Aunt Cordy was her fairy godmother just like the one in Sleeping Beauty who saw the baby’s future. Except in Joy’s future there wasn’t horrible needles and sleep. Aunt Cordy said that she had a very special future to live. She knew because she’d had one of her visions about it. She had also made Joy promise to help look after Angel. He would need her in the years to come. Journey thought the promise was silly because there wasn’t a need to promise something she already planned on doing.

Eyeing her plate, Journey tilted it toward her and scooped the last bite of ice cream into her mouth. She wiped her mouth on her napkin then turned to her parents who were sitting next to her. Mummy was sitting with her legs over Daddy’s and was feeding him ice cream. She patted Daddy’s arm to get his attention then held her arms out. There was no doubt that she would be lifted onto their laps where she would be cuddled and kissed.

“You getting sleepy, Luv?” Daddy whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek.

She shook her head and pointed to her presents.

“Silly man,” Mummy giggled. “There’s no way she’s going to sleep until after she’s collected her bounty.”

Their arms were around her and she laid her head against Mummy’s chest. She could hear her heart beating like it always did around Daddy. A little faster just like the way Mummy breathed. Raven said it was a man woman thing she would understand when she grew up but she knew. It was because Mummy loved Daddy. She wished Daddy wouldn’t go away anymore because Mummy was sad when he was gone and so, was she.

“Hello, Joyness,” Angel said, coming over. “You ready to open the presents?”

“Uh-huh,” Joy said, sitting up and patting the table. “I want to open yours first.”

She flashed him her prettiest smile and was rewarded with her uncle going to the pile and retrieving one for her. The others quickly gathered around, taking seats on anything that was handy or on the floor once the chairs ran out. Joy squirmed under the attention but forgot about it when she pulled the wrapping away. It was a silver mirror and brush set just like the ones the fairy princesses used.

Yep, it was a great birthday and she looked up to await the next present to be handed to her.

to be continued…

Chapter 15 - Dream On

The past is gone

It went by like dusk to dawn

Isn’t that the way

Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows

Where it comes and where it goes

I know it’s everybody’s sin

You got to lose to know how to win

Dream yourself a dream come true

Dream on, dream on, dream on

And dream until your dream comes true

Aerosmith

It’s always the smallest things that bring the greatest joy. That’s why Spike nicknamed his youngest daughter Joy. She brought him a sense of self that no one else could. There was no past to contend with, no previous needs that he couldn’t fulfill. He was everything to her. Her father, her friend, her god and she doted on him like no one else. It was amazing but he wasn’t threatened by her love for his grand-sire. He had created this small being, his body, his heart and soul and she would always belong to him first.

Maybe it was selfish to think that way but when everything and everyone else came with a price and compromise it was gave him comfort when nothing else did.

“And they lived happily ever after,” Spike read softly. He closed the book and laid it on the nightstand.

“No, they didn’t,” Joy said with a smile. “Mummy says no one does.”

“Why did she say that?” Spike asked, wondering what conversation had prompted his wife to destroy such innocent belief in their child. He put one hand down on the bed beside her so that he was looking down at Journey.

“Because love takes work and that’s what makes you happy,” Joy said, patiently. “It’s all the stuff you do to make people happy that makes you happy.”

“Oh,” Spike said. “You mean, like reading you a bedtime story or when you pick up your toys so Mummy doesn’t have to.”

“Yep.” Journey nodded her head vigorously. “Does reading to me make you happy?”

“Very much so,” Spike whispered, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “And it’s time for you to go to sleep.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, pumpkin?”

“Why do some Mummy’s and Daddy’s not give toys to their kids?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mummy made me give my old toys ‘way. She said some little girls and boys don’t have any. Why don’t they have any?”

“Some parents don’t have a lot of money so they can’t buy them. They spend the money on making sure they have a place to live and food to eat.”

“Oh, will you always be able to buy me toys?”

“I don’t know sweetheart. I hope so but I promise I’ll always take care of you.”

“Are you going to come home soon to stay? Mummy is sad and so am I that you’re not here to tuck us in at night.”

He smiled at the thought of tucking Buffy in. It gave him all sorts of illicit images that he shouldn’t be having at the moment. He looked up and saw her standing in the doorway. Her eyes were a deep shade of jade, letting him know that she was having the same thoughts as he was.

“I’m going to come home to stay as soon as I can. Daddy has to take care of a few things but I’m coming back.”

“Okay. Mummy says I shouldn’t make you promise, but you’re not going to go away for good are you? Rona says her Daddy left home and never came back. He didn’t love her mommy anymore. Rona thinks that he stopped loving her, too.” Joy gazed up at him with big eyes as she worried her bottom lip waiting for an answer.

Thoughts of Hank Summers came rushing to him and how his abandonment had affected both Buffy and Dawn as he stared down into the worried face of his daughter. It tore at him that his baby would think that he might not love her or her mother anymore. He pushed her hair away from her face, letting his fingers drift down her cheek as he swallowed back the emotion that was choking him.

“No baby, I love your mother very much. And I do promise I’ll always come back to you,” Spike said then held his hand up while putting the other one on her precious bear. “I vow that I will come home to you and your mother and the rest of the family.” He smiled. “Now, see you didn’t make me. I wanted to. And since it was made on teddy, I have to keep it. Teddy Bears never lie.”

Journey grinned then scrambled out from under the covers, pushing him aside when he tried to catch her. “I’ve gotta give you somefin’,” she declared as she made a dash to her vanity in the corner.

Spike watched as she opened the sequined purse he had given her for her birthday. She pulled out a small pouch and returned to him.

“Hold your hands out, Daddy.”

Spike dutifully cupped his hands out in front of him and tried to hide a smile at the serious expression on her small face. She opened the pouch and dumped it into his hand. There were a few coins, a necklace, a cross, and several beads that had to have once been another necklace or a bracelet.

“Angels dropped these when they came to take the people home,” Joy said. Her little voice filled with awe. “I found them out in back when I was taking walks. Raven says they’re good luck because of the angels dropping them.”

His heart ached as he stared down at the small treasures in his hand. He glanced up at Buffy for a moment. She knew about the lies told to their daughter to protect her. Most likely the ‘treasures’ were dropped by people attacked by vampires or other demons in the cemetery.

“I want you to carry them for luck cuz you need to come home to us.”

“I will, Journey, I will,” Spike said, carefully putting the treasures back in their pouch. “Get back in bed.”

This time Journey crawled beneath the covers without any more questions. She hugged her father tight, kissing his cheek before pulling her teddy bear close. Spike turned the light off, adjusted the nursery monitor, and stepped outside. Buffy was immediately in his arms.

“I think that you are the best father in the whole world and I love you for it,” Buffy said, pressing kisses to his face and neck. He pulled her close and buried his face in her shoulder.

“I know you do,” Spike said, he could see it radiating from her eyes. “Tonight I have no doubts.”

He scooped her up and headed for the stairs to their bedroom. There would be no games but only love between them this night.

~~~~~~~~

Dylan knew where she was. He knew that she was upset by her earlier argument with Max. He knew because he had shamelessly overheard every word. Division among the ranks and he suppressed a smile at how easy it was as he stepped onto the back porch. And Faith was right. If everyone thought that he was pursuing her then there wouldn’t be any suspicions of his plans for Spike.

His Spike.

She glanced up at him then quickly away. He slipped his hands in his back pocket.

“Hi, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Faith said. Her hand wrapped around the chain on the swing.

“Mind if I sit?” Dylan asked, cocking his head toward her. She shrugged so he took it as a yes and sat beside her. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been quiet since we got back this afternoon.”

The woman shrugged and it made Dylan want to sigh. He steeled himself. He could do it. Seduction was his art. It had been since he first used his looks and body to get what he wanted. Since then he had honed it to perfection even playing the lost little boy to Spike’s need to protect someone. Research paid off.

“It’s amazing what some people think,” he said rather nonchalantly.

“What people think what?” Faith asked.

She shifted in the swing so that she was facing him. He looked down, acting like he was hesitating as he picked a thread on his worn jeans.

“Don’t start something if you’re not going to finish,” Faith said with an edge of annoyance creeping into her voice. She started to turn again but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Dylan said. He sighed. “I don’t want to step in where I’m not wanted. It’s pretty clear that something is going on between you and Max.”

“Was going on,” Faith said, looking down. “He broke up with me not too long ago.”

“Do you love him?” Dylan asked, slipping his hand onto her shoulder in a comforting manner. “I know it’s none of my business but…”

She shrugged. “I like him a lot. He just makes me uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I understand. I think you and I are cast from pretty much the same mold. You like the simple things. I mean, seriously who gives a fuck which fork you use as long as the soddin’ food gets in your mouth,” Dylan paused, watching Faith’s reactions. There was a trace of a smile on her lips so he continued. “And man, who wants to drink wine anyway. Beer is just as good.”

“It’s not that bad,” Faith said. Probably out of loyalty to the man who had her tied up in knots. “I’m just not…”

“Comfortable in those scenes,” Dylan said. “And he shouldn’t expect you to change.” He brushed her hair back, letting his fingers linger over the ends. He lifted his eyes to hers. Let it look like he was hesitant again then said in a rush, “I think you’re terrific the way you are.” He quickly looked away.

Faith laughed but her hand rested on his leg. “Thank you. It’s good to hear that.”

The sound of a car door from someone in front of the house alerted them that they weren’t alone. Dylan could hear the footsteps coming along the side of the house. A whiff of cologne and he knew it was Max returning from the errand he had run.

With no time for finesse, he cupped the back of Faith’s neck and leaned forward. Apparently she hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on around them because she just looked at him in surprise. The first contact of their lips was brief. The second she met him halfway, letting their mouths linger. He needed a second more as the figure moved soundlessly around the porch. Dylan wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer, and teasing her lips with the tip of his tongue. Footsteps sounded on the steps and they pulled apart.

Yep, it was Max.

~~~~~~~~

Max stared at the kissing couple for a second in disbelief. They pulled apart and he watched as Faith wiped her mouth. His eyes darted to Dylan. The kid was wearing what was supposed to be a look of shame but he saw it. The smugness in the depths of his eyes and he knew Dylan was playing Faith. It really didn’t matter though. Faith had let him. The embarrassment was clear on her face. He didn’t care or at least he tried to tell himself that. Without saying anything he turned and walked into the house.

The door slammed behind him. Fury swept past his carefully constructed walls and his training as an agent. The hurt was beyond almost anything he had ever felt. It shook him down to his very core. After years of being alone, one woman had bulldozed her way into his heart, and was now destroying him.

“Can’t stand to lose out?” Angel asked quietly.

Max looked around to find the vampire in the corner of the kitchen. Leaning casually against the counter, drinking what was probably blood. His taunt was the last straw. Propriety and honor lost the battle that was warring in Max’s heart. He didn’t even care that Angel might finally lose whatever restraints he had regarding him. All Max cared about was that everything he believed in was slowly crumbling around him. And what he thought was the best choices in his life were turning out to be the worst. Worse than the numbness that service with the Guardians had brought him.

“Am I so bad that you prefer Faith with that loser?” Max asked. He stepped closer to the vampire. “I mean at least I would have loved her instead of just wanting what’s between her legs.”

It was all Angel needed. Max found himself pinned to the wall with the vampire’s hand pressing down on his throat. He laughed. It didn’t matter. Maybe Angel would break it and all his misery would be over with. At least he would be with Brianna again.

“Don’t talk about Faith like that.” Angel growled. He shook his head, letting the vampire slip over his face.

“So, have the two of you made plans for when Cordelia dies?” Max asked, feeling the pressure increase. Not caring he continued, “I mean are you going to at least wait a respectable mourning period or are you just going to go for it?”

“Give me one reason for not killing you,” Angel said. “Because you just overstepped the bounds, boy.”

“I have? That’s good, Angel old man,” Max said with a sneer. “I’m not the one with a dying wife and a pretty young thing waiting in the wings to take her place. I mean that is why Faith wouldn’t be with me.”

“What do you mean?”

The grip around his neck loosened.

“I mean that Faith fancies herself in love with you,” Max said, clearing his throat. “She’s hoping that she’ll be next in line for your affections. And since you seem to encourage her, I figured maybe she’s right.”

The look on Angel’s face told Max everything he needed to know. Angel hadn’t a clue about how Faith felt or what she wanted. Either that or he had deliberately blinded himself. It didn’t matter. He didn’t want Faith’s heart. Angel stepped back. His face slipping back into human guise as the grief covered his features instead. Max almost felt sorry for him but not enough to stop. The vampire should know everything.

“Yeah, she was with me to while away the time,” Max said a little calmer than before. “I guess she’s moved onto someone else who is a little more willing to just be a toy until it’s time.” He chuckled. “Because I don’t think that Dylan could care about anyone else as much as he cares about himself.”

“Leave me alone,” Angel said.

Max nodded. Now he was feeling guilty for bursting Angel’s bubble about Faith, for letting his emotions have the better of him for the second time in one day and for not being the man he wanted to be. He headed straight out the front door and to his car. The only thing he wanted at that point was a bottomless glass of scotch.

~~~~~~~~

How had he missed it? Was Max telling the truth? Did Faith really want him? Was he encouraging her without meaning to? Did Cordelia know?

Oh, god, he hoped Cordelia didn’t know or suspect something that was the furthest thing from his heart. He had been a fool for years. He had wasted so much time running from the love he had for the woman that was now his wife. And now they had so precious little time left. He didn’t want anything to mar whatever happiness he could give Cordelia in the short time they had left.

It had to stop now.

Angel headed for the back door. He ignored the murmurs of the couple still talking on the swing. The touches they gave and the arousal coming off of both of them.

“Leave now, Dylan,” Angel said. “I need to talk to Faith.”

“Angel, what’s wrong?” Faith asked, jumping up. “Has something happened?”

“I said leave, pup,” Angel barked. “And get far enough away that I won’t smell or hear you.”

It was a warning. He had caught the young man skulking around the house, listening in, or getting into things he shouldn’t have over the last couple of days. He had already decided he needed to have a serious talk with Spike about it but he wanted to wait until they got to LA. No reason to upset Buffy or the kids unless he had to.

Dylan looked at Faith and she nodded. Getting her permission to leave them alone and it almost made Angel laugh. Even if she said no, Angel would still have his way. The young man thought he was all powerful but he wasn’t. Not to a centuries old vampire who had seen and killed dozens of Dylan’s kind over the years.

The situation was too sensitive though so Angel waited until the back door shut behind Dylan. He waited until Dylan had moved beyond the kitchen before he looked up at Faith. She looked worried and a little scared.

“Everyone is all right,” Angel said, glad for the relief that showed on her face. He didn’t want to hurt her but he had to. “I was talking to Max about you.”

“God damn it,” Faith said. “Why was he whining to you?”

“He wasn’t. He was letting me in on a few things.”

The fear was back. He wanted to comfort her so he took a step back. So, many times the two of them had wavered on the line that would take them beyond friendship. Always he had stopped. Faith was beautiful, courageous, and now that she was on the right path, a great woman. It hurt him to admit even to himself but she would never be Cordelia or even Buffy. Not in his heart. Never in his heart and it wouldn’t be fair to her to always be second best.

“Like what?”

“Faith, I’m probably going to say this all wrong but,” Angel stopped, sighing as he searched for the words. “I love Cordelia with everything that I am and have. She took a lost vampire and made him a champion. She kicked my ass when I needed it, comforted me when I needed it and has always stood by me. She’s taken my shit, my moods, my dark side and loved me in spite of them. When she is…,” he swallowed back a sob. “When she is gone, I am going to grieve for a long time. There is no way that I could let anyone get close to me. Not even someone who has…”

“Someone who has what?” Faith spat. “Someone who’s been your friend and only your friend. You’ve got quite an ego there, Angel.”

It had gone wrong. He knew it would and he didn’t want to lose the friendship, too. His mind searched for a way to make this come out all right. And only came up lacking as Faith continued to tell him how wrong he was. Her words though only proved him right.

~~~~~~~

It was quiet. Almost too quiet and Cordelia pulled the afghan tight around her body. She hated it when she was alone. She didn’t want to be alone. Not when death was lingering so close. It was her only fear. Angel wouldn’t be holding her when she finally slipped away. She shook her head. Self-pity wasn’t going to do anything and Angel was doing the best he could. He was beside her more everyday. How did a vampire become so caring? She smiled because she knew it was love. It had worked its magic on a self-involved girl with an Academy Award for a goal. She had no regrets.

Footsteps sounded in the hallway.

“Hello,” she called.

“Hey,” Dylan said a second later. He leaned on the door jamb. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

It was strange that with everyone else he seemed to be faking his emotions and concern, but with her though she could feel the sincerity in his words.

“I’m just being all maudlin,” Cordelia said. “Come sit with me for a minute.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Dylan asked as he took a seat on the couch next to her.

“Yeah, there is,” she smiled at him.

“What’s that?”

“Quit trying so hard.” Cordelia said, thoughtfully. “You have a chance to be a part of a family here. A family that will be remembered for centuries because of what they have accomplished. You could a part of it if you quit trying to tear it apart.”

She watched his reactions carefully, the emotionless face, the shuttering of the eyes and the slight twitch in his hand. She had hit a nerve.

“I’m not trying to do that,” Dylan said, politely. “I’m sorry that you think that I am but all I’m trying to do is get along with everyone.”

Cordelia chuckled. “You’re really quite good but I’m not buying. Look, kid, you’re staying in a house with an empath, a Slayer with prophetic dreams and visions and me who gets visions directly from the powers that be. Who lately, by the way, have been really generous in letting me see things concerning my family. So, I know you hit on Raven last night, you’re hitting on Faith today, and you’re creating a wedge between Buffy and Spike. Do I have this right?”

“Look, Raven was playing with me, I was just playing back. She’s a kid, Spike’s kid and I wouldn’t do anything like that to him. Faith is an adult, she’s free and I like her and I’m sorry about Max but he couldn’t hold her,” Dylan stopped for a breath. “And as for Buffy and Spike, their marriage has a lot of problems that have nothing to do with me. I don’t want to see my friend get hurt and if she’s that insecure then,” he stopped with a shrug.

“You’re lying,” Cordelia said. “You’re very good but not quite good enough. I’m the queen of acting the way you want people to see you. It’s a heavy burden to carry.”

“I’m sorry you’ve gotten the wrong impression of me. I like you and I was hoping we could be friends,” Dylan said, standing.

“Sit, Dylan. We are friends. Friends tell each other the truth,” she stopped until he sat again. “I know the burdens you carry. I’ve been shown them. And I know that although you’re not really evil, you are susceptible to its charms. It’s very seductive I know. You have a shot of a family here but you have to stop this path you’re on. You have to choose to fight on the side of good.”

~~~~~~~~

The words slammed into him. Words that had been said to him once before and didn’t mean anything. Life was what you made it and he wanted the best. He stood up and stared down into eyes that knew him to well. He couldn’t afford to let her see any more.

Dylan stood again. “Lady, I do respect you but back off. You don’t know shit about me or my life or what I want. I don’t know what kind of hallucinations those drugs are giving you but you’re wrong.”

Without waiting for a reply he turned and left the room. He felt like he was being suffocated. Everything was off kilter. Who else knew? Had he blinded himself to being able to play the game? He needed to get out, away from this house that was beginning to creep him out. He headed out the back door, interrupting Faith and Angel in a heated conversation. And he thought why the hell not?

“Faith, I need to get out of here. You want to go with me?”

She hesitated then reached for his outstretched hand.

“Yeah, get me out of here.”

“Faith, wait,” Angel called as they hurried through the backyard. “Don’t do something stupid.”

Victory. Small but it warmed his heart. The rest would come. Dylan knew he just needed to regroup and soon everything would be back on track.

~~~~~~~~

Oh, god, how could kissing make her just want to melt into a big pile of goop? She pressed herself closer to him, opened her mouth a little more, letting his tongue in deeper. He groaned in response, turning her so that she was leaning backwards onto the tomb. Only a little jump and she would be on top. He would follow and…

“Shit, someone is coming,” Connor whispered, pulling her down.

Raven cursed silently as they crouched in the shadows. It wasn’t vampires or demons otherwise he wouldn’t have pulled her down here. It had to be family members or something. Someone who would tell her father what she was doing. She rolled her eyes. It was time to stop pretending. She was eighteen and in love.

The voices drew closer. She opened her eyes wide, staring at Connor, as she recognized them. It was Faith and Dylan. They were talking about expectations and people who had them. Connor kept her down until they had passed.

“I’m tired of us always hiding out,” Raven groused, when he let her stand again. She buttoned her blouse up. “It’s ridiculous.”

“We’re not hiding out,” Connor said, slipping his arms around her waist. He pulled her close. “I just wanted to be able to resume what we were doing.”

“Oh, well then,” Raven said, going up on her tiptoes to kiss along his jaw. “That I accept.”

“Oh, yeah,” Connor whispered, lifting her up onto the tomb. She wrapped her legs around him to keep him against her. He unbuttoned her blouse again, kissing his way down from her ear to the valley between her breasts. “You are so beautiful.”

Raven arched her back as he pushed her blouse aside and latched onto her nipple. The stimulation from his mouth and the scratching from the lace of her bra were sending her into overdrive. She fell back on her hands, forcing him to follow her up if he wanted to continue. He didn’t.

“Rave, come on,” Connor said, pulling her by the hips so that she was closer to him. “If we get up there then you know we’re going to get into trouble.”

“No, you come on,” Raven declared pushing him away. “I’m sick of hiding out, pretending we’re still fourteen or something. I’m eighteen, you’re in your mid-twenties, I want a real relationship. I’m going to make an appointment with the doctor and get on birth control.”

“And when your father finds out?”

“The hell with him. He fell for Buffy when she was around my age. And she was only seventeen when your father slept with her.”

“Doesn’t that make us kind of incestuous?” Connor said with a grin.

“Forget it,” Raven said, turning to walk away. She was talking about their lives and he was cracking jokes. “I love you. I have since I was fifteen and I want to spend my life with you. Apparently you don’t feel the same.”

“Raven, stop,” Connor said, running to catch up with her. He grabbed her, pulling her around and against him. “I love you.” He cupped her face. “You’re the best thing in my life. I just…yes, I want to make love to you. I want you in my life, forever, but I want you to be sure.”

“I am. I am.”

It was the same argument. Connor thought she was too young to make a commitment. Their fathers were against the relationship but tolerated it because they didn’t have a choice. Cordelia and Buffy were on their side and it was a big mess. Maybe if they showed that they were committed instead of trying to please everyone else, they’d come around.

“Okay, then, go to the doctor.”

“Really?” Raven screamed. “Oh, my god, I love you.”

She threw her arms around him then her legs. He swung them around as she rained kisses on his face. They had all the time in the world. They were young and happy. There wasn’t a reason not to hope for the very best that life could offer.

~~~~~~~

“You’re father will fail. He always does. He’s William and no matter how hard he tries to prove otherwise, he always will be.” The First whispered. “It’s been so easy, I must say. True to form the vampire is. The pyramid will crumble so easily with his betrayal.”

The laughter was more terrifying than the words. It echoed inside his head and shook him all the way down to his toes. Elijah turned toward the light. He ran as hard as he could but couldn’t escape the laughter that reverberated in the dark. Evil didn’t die. It never did. And just because they had pushed it back didn’t mean it wasn’t still there. It lived within the small boy. Inside his head. Eli screamed.

His breathing was heavy as he sat up straight in bed. He gulped in oxygen as he looked around his room. Nothing. No one. It wasn’t here. His mommy wasn’t here. Another sound of laughter came through the open window. It was on the wind. He jumped from his bed, took a deep breath then raced to close the window. With hurried hands, Eli slammed it shut then locked it. He backed slowly away from it. He grabbed his teddy bear and jumped back into bed. He didn’t care that he was too old to sleep with stuffed toys. The bear had gone into hell with him and survived. It was a bond between the two that Eli took very seriously.

Trying to reach a calming place, he let his walls down, so that he could feel the others in the house. There was a trace of hurt and anger but mostly love came back to him. It flowed in warm streams around him from the attic above him and the study below him. It was a strength and joy that comforted him. He searched out Joy, smiling at the giggle she gave in her sleep. She was probably dreaming about riding unicorns through fairy land.

Elijah sighed. Whatever was coming wasn’t coming tonight. He knew it was on the way but he would keep his faith. It was one lesson he had learned. Evil had no power in the face of unwavering belief in good. Sacrifices had to be made, lives lost but evil didn’t win as long as there was someone still willing to fight for good. And Elijah had faith, in his family, his parents and the Slayers who had beaten back the First last year.

Rolling over the little boy returned to his little boy dreams, confident that at least for now they were safe.

to be continued…

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