Chapter 32 – Hey Pretty

 

 

 

I can’t forget I’m a sole architect

I built the shadows here

I built the growl in the voice I fear

You add it up but to do better than that

You’ve got to follow me

                        Poe

 

 

 

Sometimes you just had to be a man. Own up to your mistakes. Fix them the best way you possibly could. Redemption was a word he knew well. His whole life was an endless litany of his father reaching for it. He wondered if anyone ever achieved it, or if it was an endless struggle for something that was unattainable. It was why he never thought about it. At least he hadn’t until his cowardice had tarnished his light in this world.

 

Connor glanced over at Raven who hadn’t said a word to him since yesterday morning in the clinic. She responded to him. Followed him. Did everything right without speaking. It tore at him to look into eyes that once were so lively but now were the dull edge of midnight. Her hair once a tumbling mass of mahogany that blanketed his every fantasy was pulled back into a tight braid. He couldn’t even see the curve of her body beneath the sweat suit she wore. The agony of her soul oozed through her very pores to float through the air around her.

 

He turned his eyes back to the dirt road he was driving on. It curved through the woods on a narrow tract that led to the small cabin where they would be staying. Essie had sent one of her men to turn the generator on and stock the refrigerator and pantry. All they had to do was show up. This would be their hideaway. The place where they would discover their future. A destiny he already knew. It was what he wanted even though he ran in fear of it. His place was beside her, to be her knight, her guard, and lover as she fulfilled her calling. Like Spike was to Buffy.

 

He would always be ‘The Destroyer’. Only now he would also accept the role of mate to Raven and fulfill it to the best of his ability. He’d been trained well by them all. Now it was time to take his place in the wheel they were all running on. Nothing would ever be the same again after this time. And it was all right.

 

The cabin came into view and he pulled the jeep to a stop beside the small porch in the front. It was a typical log structure. A chimney rose from the roof like a hand reaching through the trees that were clustered around the area. Connor climbed out, hurrying around to open the door for Raven. She stepped out, wrapping her arms around her middle as she looked around. There was curiosity on her pixie face that gave him hope of her quick recovery. After she had stepped away from the vehicle, he grabbed their bags from the back.

 

“Come on,” Connor said, holding his hand to her. She accepted. They walked up the three steps to the front door where he let go of her long enough to open it. She stepped through the threshold first, leaving him to follow. He watched as she wandered around the small space. The kitchen was to the left of the large front room with a table dividing it from the living area. There was a small hall leading to the back where a bedroom and a bathroom were. He dropped her bag on the floor next to the bed. “You can sleep here. I’ll sleep in the living room.”

 

Raven nodded.

 

“You hungry…,” no response, “tired?”

 

She nodded again.

 

“Then I’ll leave you alone,” Connor said. “I’ll be out here if you need me.”

 

He closed the door behind him, heading back to the sanctuary of the living room. He threw his bag on to the table, and then flopped on the couch. It was going to be hard seeing her through this. Everyone from Kate and Buffy to Spike had lectured him on taking care of Raven. Her fragile emotions over what had happened all the way to her eating habits had been touched on.

 

In a way it was funny because no one knew her like he did. The fear she felt with every fight, the tears she still cried over those girls buried in unmarked graves, to the way her eyes glowed when she was happy, and the regrets she already carried. They were all a part of him because he was the one who walked next to her every night, the one who laid those bodies in the graves, and the one she loved.

 

This was the beginning of a new world. A new way of life for them both. He knew something was coming. He saw it in the faces of the people around him. He dreamed it every night when his mother came to him encouraging him to stay strong. The hope Darla lost as a young girl was alive in him. To her memory, her sacrifice for him was helping to shape the man he was becoming. Only once the First came to him in her shimmering light. He had laughed in its face, walking away. Quortoth had shown him just how bad life could be. He wanted no part of that hell ever again.

 

So, here he was. Ready to help Raven through this difficult time. To see her through the coming days of shaky ground.

 

“Connor,” Raven’s voice roused him. She barely spoke above a whisper. Her eyes filled with tears as she walked toward him. “I hurt so bad.”

 

“I know,” Connor responded, holding his arms out. He took her onto his lap, holding her close. “It’s going to be all right though.”

 

“I hurt so many,” she lamented, burying her face against him. “How could I behave like that?”

 

“You’re human.”

 

“No, I’m not,” Raven said.

 

“Then how about no one is perfect,” Connor teased. “Does that one work?”

 

She laughed. It sounded strangled but it was there. A step in the right direction. “Yeah, that works.”

 

They stayed where they were for a long time. Holding each other until they found the comfortableness again. Found the rhythm between them that kept them connected. She fell asleep first. He followed a short time later. They were together again. The way it was meant to be.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Spike pulled the comforter up to his waist, leaning back into the pile of pillows behind his head. He didn’t want to let go of the night yet. It felt too good, luxuriating in the damp warmth left from their earlier lovemaking. His eyes were heavy as he scratched his stomach and watched Buffy dressing. She was happier than he’d seen her in a long time. A smile danced on her lips, her eyes were bright, and in her wake was the sound of her humming.

 

“Come back to bed,” Spike asked.

 

“Nope,” Buffy tossed over her shoulder. She reached for a pair of jeans, pulling them on and giving him an enticing view of her ass. He lasciviously licked his lips, remembering earlier, holding it while he pounded into her. “We need to spend some time with the kids this morning before we take off.”

 

Raven and Connor had left for the cabin almost a week earlier. A week in which he returned home, played with his children, and made love to Buffy every chance he got. It was where he belonged. He knew it in every fiber of his being. And today, he was taking his wife away for the weekend. Right after he picked up his last paycheck and told Jake he wasn’t returning.

 

He glanced over at the clock. It was still early. Del was downstairs so Elijah and Joy would be fine if they woke up. With an evil grin, he rolled out of the bed, and pretended to head toward the bathroom. Buffy was still humming as she rummaged through the closet to find a shirt to wear. He waited until she stepped out of it to make his move.

 

“Gotcha,” he yelled, looping an arm around her waist and picking her up.

 

“Put me down, Spike,” Buffy yelped, struggling to free herself, but her movements made her bottom rub against his crotch. No way was he letting her go now.

 

“Nope,” Spike said, striding toward the bed. She giggled, continuing with half-hearted attempts to free herself. He tickled her along her ribcage making her screech. He laughed and dumped her on the bed. “Now, I’m going to ravage the young maiden.”

 

“You’re an idiot,” Buffy teased, flipping over and attempting to crawl away. “We don’t have time for games.”

 

Spike leapt onto the bed, pushing her face down into the comforter. “No games, just want your pussy in my face.”

 

Using her arms, she flipped them so she was facing up on top of him. He held her by the waist again with one arm, and with his free hand started to undo her jeans.

 

“No, no, no,” Buffy chanted, squirming against him. “Don’t have time for anything.”

 

“Yes, we do,” Spike said, taking down her zipper. “Just one more time, please.”

 

“Ha, the Big Bad is begging for sex,” Buffy announced in triumph. “Paws off the merchandise.” She pushed his hands away from her then wrapped them around her holding them against her. He tried to turn them but gave his own yelp of surprise when she bit down on his arm. Not hard enough to break the skin but enough for him to feel it. He pulled his arm up to inspect the damage, and she took the opportunity to hop off the bed. “Can’t catch me,” she taunted as she headed for the stairs.

 

He shook his head. She forgot her shirt. She’d be back but he followed her. Leaping over the couch when she backtracked to grab her t-shirt lying on the chair. Buffy kept a wary eye on him as they danced around the chair. Him trying to catch her and her trying to get some covering. Finding her rhythm, he moved to the left, watching from the corner of his eye as she reached for the shirt. Spike swiveled to his right, grabbing her wrist and yanked her back. They fell onto the couch, this time face to face, him on top.

 

“Got you,” Spike whispered, pinning her hands above her head. He ground his cock against the softness of her denim covered cunt. “You’re so beautiful.”

 

“You just want to get laid,” Buffy scoffed, trying to buck him off.

 

He kissed the space between her breasts, flicking the curve with his tongue. She always tasted so good. Innocent even after all these years. He sucked on his mark along the curve of her neck. Her blood was racing through her veins despite her denial of wanting him.

 

“I want you,” he vowed. “You’re my world.”

 

“Promise me,” Buffy pleaded, rubbing her chin against his cheek. “For always.”

 

It broke through his mood and he loosened his grip on her. She ran her hands along his shoulders, kissed his temple, then shoved him off. He landed on the floor as she sprung over the back of the couch. Looking up he saw an evil grin lighting up her face. She knew him too well. Could play him like an old victrola with only one record.  Buffy swayed her hips with her arms outstretched. She looked so much like a little girl on a playground that he expected her to stick her tongue out at him.

 

She wasn’t though. And her next action proved it all too well. With one flick of her wrist she undid her bra. Using moves that any professional stripper would envy, she slowly pulled it off. He was transfixed by the sight of his love dancing for him. She took a step up to the platform that held their bed while undoing her jeans. Leaving them behind on the floor, Buffy climbed onto their bed, did a quick down to her knees then back up. Her hands slid down her thighs until she was shaking her breasts at him. He lunged, tackling her down to the bed.

 

“You’re a shameless tease,” Spike whispered, kissing his way up her stomach. “Doing that to your husband who only wants a proper shagging.” Her hands splayed through his hair when he lightly suckled at one nipple. He kneaded the other one. “So, good, pet, so good.”

 

“So, take me already,” Buffy whimpered, wrapping her legs around him.

 

All the playfulness was gone now. They needed each other too much after their long months apart. The only thing separating them was the thin cotton of her panties. He went to rip them but she stopped him. “No, they’re new,” she bit his ear. “Take them off real slow.”

 

Spike knelt above her. His golden goddess waiting for her faithful servant. He hooked a finger on either side, waited until she lifted her hips, then slid them down her legs. He dropped them over the side of the bed. His gaze drifted over her body, grateful that she had lost all bashfulness, even with what she considered her imperfections. He let his tongue run along the scar on her calf where she caught it while jumping over a fence. The bruises on her thighs from his hands holding her during the rough sex they’d indulged in first the night before.

 

He rained adorning kisses along the silver webbing of stretch marks from her pregnancy. It had left a soft mound of belly that no matter what she did wouldn’t firm up. He worshiped it. The extra cushion had kept their baby from harm. To him it was a miracle beyond any he’d seen in his decades of life.

 

Her breasts weren’t the same perky ones she once carried as a teenager, but they too were part of the miracle. They’d fed the child they created. It only made them more beautiful. He flicked his tongue at one budding nipple, wondering if it was time to broach the subject again.

 

“Let’s have another baby,” Buffy whispered.

 

“Do you mean it?”

 

It was terrifying that she might be joking. He wanted another chance to have a child. The children brought to them by circumstance and Journey had completely changed the man who had run from being a family man. He wanted another one. The chance this time to celebrate every day of Buffy’s pregnancy, for it to be a happy time, and a birth that wouldn’t be filled with so much anger and despair. For them to be together during those first few weeks of their baby’s life. His eyes filled with tears that she wiped away with her thumbs.

 

“Yes, I’m sure,” she promised. “I was supposed to get my next shot this month. If you want I’ll cancel the appointment.”

 

“Cancel it,” Spike said, filled with a happiness that he didn’t think he’d ever felt before. Laughing, he wrapped Buffy up next to him, and then made love to her with a reverence that left them both in tears.

 

He was home.

 

 

to be continued…

 

Chapter 33 – Do What You Do

 

 

Slow down, that’s right

Give it all you got

Yeah, you got the right stuff

Kick back, let go

Trust yourself to know

Yeah what you got is good enough

                        Martina McBride

 

 

 

The buzzer was the annoying kind. Loud, insistent, and causing a body to want to look around to see who they were disturbing by daring to even touch it. Giles refused to move though. He just hoped it was bothering the occupants of the flat enough so they would answer the door. Four days and no word from Wesley or Fred except for a message on his machine saying they were taking time off. Not only he but the slayers and the school needed them. Things were going to hell in a handbasket fast. There wasn’t time for self-pity or self-indulgence.

 

Giles pressed the button again, leaving it there so the screech of the doorbell was a neverending source of irritation. He wanted to shove his fingers in his ears like a child. The sound of someone removing the chain lock was the only thing that silenced the damn thing. He waited patiently until the door was jerked open to reveal a highly upset Fred.

 

“Go away, Giles,” the young woman said. “We need some time alone.”

 

“We need you,” Giles replied just as tersely. He stepped forward, forcing Fred to move out of his way or be barreled down. “Wesley is only giving the rumor mill fodder by his being absent. No one knows the truth, but the girls are showing quite the imagination with filling in the blanks.” He stopped in the middle of the room. “Besides demon activity is increasing. Things are getting out of control. We need to finish deciphering this prophecy and figure out how to stop whatever is coming. I need you both.”

 

“Oh, you need us, but the entire Blood family can take a vacation?” Fred bit out. “Especially the one who started everything is out there having a good old time.” At his look of surprise, she added. “Yeah, we know. Kind of hard to miss the email sent to the faculty that Faith and Max would be covering Sunnydale while they’re gone.”

 

“I highly doubt that Raven is having a good old time as you put it since she was nearly raped,” Giles said, trying to ignore Fred’s sarcasm. He knew she had been hurt as well in the whole fiasco. After all it was her boyfriend that had been flirting with a teenage Slayer. Trying to remain calm, he removed his glasses, folding them carefully then unfolding them. “I understand your points, Winifred, I really do. But if we don’t get some much needed help then there may not be anything left to argue about.”

 

“Giles, what is happening?” Wesley questioned as he stepped out of the bedroom.

 

Giles quickly hid his surprise at his colleague’s appearance. Wesley looked worse than he’d ever seen him before. There was at least a few days growth of beard covering his pale countenance. He appeared thinner. It could have been the fact that he was dressed in wrinkled jeans and a shirt that hung lifeless around the younger man’s form. Wesley was going through his own form of self-imposed hell after the incident with Raven.

 

Angel had explained to Giles about an encounter several years before with an evil being that left Wesley’s inner demons in control, including his attack on Fred that had nearly broken the young Watcher.

 

“A surge of demon activity,” Giles replied. “Not only around the hellmouths but here in the city as well. It appears as if they are testing us, insidously trying to find our strengths and weakness. Staking claim to a future we know nothing about. The girls are severely overwhelmed with combatting them. We are sending our senior girls out to other locations, but quite frankly, they aren’t prepared. We don’t have Watchers to send with them. They are used to being supported by each other, working in a group, and a few…I’m scared for them. We need to finish translating the prophecy and stop this before its too late.”

 

“Are you sure I’m wanted at the school?” Wesley asked, sitting on the edge of his couch. His hands dangled between his knees. His head hung in a defeated manner. He was the picture of a man beaten down by his own weaknesses. Someone who knew only too well the depth of his own evil and not sure how to fight it.

 

Giles sat across from him. “Yes, you are wanted at the school. Actually you are needed. Wesley, I can’t tell you that you haven’t made mistakes because you have. You handled the whole incident with Raven the wrong way. But we don’t have the luxury of time for scolding.”

 

Wesley looked up at him and nodded slowly. “Give me a few hours and I’ll be there.”

 

“You’re kidding right?” Fred burst out. “You’re just going to go back after what happened? They just get to skip away free and clear.”

 

“I’m afraid in the end they will pay the highest price,” Wesley said, with a wan smile. He shook his head.  “They usually do. My concern lies with our other Slayers, and with this world that we keep saving. It’s what I was trained to do and I will do it.”

 

“Very good,” Giles approved. His voice held pride at Wesley’s decision. It was their Watcher’s oath to protect their girls, to make the hard decisions, and to protect the world no matter what the personal cost. In these times they needed to remember that. “I will see you in my office at 1 PM then?”

 

It was settled. One more thing Giles could cross off his list. Next, he needed to see about making a plea to Travers to help with the girls they were sending out into the world. He blamed himself. They were all hopelessly unprepared for indivdual battle. Their time of triumph had made them all weak. Now the innocent would pay the price.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

The door to his office opened then closed softly behind whoever had entered. Angel raised his head to see Gunn standing just inside the door. In his hand was a piece of paper. His friend looked nervous as he stepped closer to Angel’s desk.

 

“Sit, Gunn,” Angel said, straightening the contracts he was reading over then slipped them into a folder. The young man remained standing with his hands now behind his back and the paper gone from view. “So, what’s going on?” Angel asked, standing also. He turned to the small credenza to pour himself a cup of coffee. The power play demanded he stand but not show the weakness of standing. Coffee was only an excuse and after one sip was placed on his desk.

 

“It’s regarding the Silver Cross nightclub,” Gunn explained. “The one that Raven was in last weekend.”

 

“What about it?” Angel asked, bristling. “I ordered the place closed down.”

 

“The owner is one of our clients.”

 

“And Raven is my family,” Angel retorted, letting his irritation at having his orders disobeyed show. “Shut it down now.”

 

“We do lucrative business with the owner,” Gunn said. “We keep him operational, we get a cut of his profits and all the…entertainment we need for our other clients.”

 

It was only from centuries of practice at disguising his feelings that enabled Angel to hide his revulsion at his colleague’s words. He forced his face to remain impassive even as thoughts of what Raven’s fate could have been if they hadn’t found her in time. Probably hundreds of innocent girls had found their downfall in that club.

 

“Raven is my family,” Angel repeated. “She is under my protection. Take care of it.”

 

Dismissing Gunn, Angel reached for a file on his desk. The other man didn’t leave though. The air was bristling with tension between them. Angel wanted to keep his promise to Spike to avenge the attack on his daughter, but if the opportunity to further his quest into the Black Thorn presented itself, then he would have to opt for the greater good. Bringing down the inner circle of Wolfram & Hart would have greater impact then taking down a mere gnat on a wall.

 

“Did you need something else?” Angel asked, without looking at Gunn.

 

“I thought you didn’t care about anything or anyone after Cordelia.”

 

“She’s still alive,” Angel said, facing his friend. “And as long as she is, I will continue to do what makes her happy. Protecting our own falls under that heading.”

 

Gunn nodded. “What about that power you crave? What if you could have it now? The ability to control your own destiny and have all you desire just by asking for it.”

 

“Like you?” Angel asked quietly. “I’ve noticed the expenditures that far exceed even your generous salary here.”

 

“Better than me,” Gunn promised. “More than you could ever hope for.” He held out the piece of paper holding the Silver Cross’s fate on it. “Prove where your loyalties lie.”

 

“Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven**,” Angel said, reaching for the paper. He prayed that Spike would understand as he ripped the orders into little pieces. It was done.

 

“I’ll let you know when and where,” Gunn said, with a smile. He turned to leave, but hesitated at the door. “I’m sure you’re eager to go ahead with this, so I’ll see how soon it can be arranged.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

There weren’t any overt stares in his direction as he made his way through the lobby. He could sense the glances, the whispers, and the sudden busyness as he walked by. It made him uncomfortable. He kept his eyes to the floor, taking rapid strides back to the administrative offices. With a backward glance to see who was watching, and hating himself for the furtive movement, Wesley slipped into Giles’ office. 

 

“Ah, you’ve arrived,” the older Watcher greeted him, barely looking up from the books he was studying. “Did Winifred return to work?”

 

“Yes,” Wesley said, hesitating just inside the doorway. “I dropped her off at Wolfram & Hart before coming here.”

 

“Did she come to understand your reason to return?”

 

Wesley laughed. Fred had been anything but understanding. She was making demands he didn’t know if he could follow through on. Especially the one asking him to give up his Watcher duties and to devote all his time to the law firm. But he didn’t want to reveal such private problems to Giles however, so he lied.

 

“We worked things out,” Wesley said.

 

“Good,” Giles said with a nod. He waved to the table beside his desk. “There’s a fresh pot of tea if you would like some.”

 

“Thank you,” Wesley responded, only glancing at the teapot before approaching the desk. “I’m fine right now. Have you made any progress?”

 

“A few more words,” Giles said, pulling his glasses off. He dropped them on the table as he rubbed his forehead. “It doesn’t make sense. There seems to be several elements involved that somehow connect together like a jigsaw puzzle.”

 

“Everything affects everything else,” Wesley said, taking a seat across the desk. He reached over to take the pad of notes that Giles had made. “Winged creatures born of hope? A new form of demons?”

 

“I don’t know…I just don’t know,” Giles said, leaning back in his chair. “We know that it involves Spike, but what does he have to do with winged creatures? It’s not like vampires can turn into bats like the legend says. Besides he is only half-vampire now.”

 

“We’re not quite sure what Spike is,” Wesley said, running his finger over the phrases they were trying to piece together. “It’s like with…Raven; no one has really tested their abilities.” He looked up as a thought crossed his mind. “There is someone in this whole picture that we’ve overlooked.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Journey,” Wesley said. “The First made itself known not long after her birth. And remember Dagon was certain that she would usher in a new era of evil.”

 

“Dagon was also certain that Journey would be a male,” Giles countered. “But it does bear more consideration with the timing. She is someone else that we have no clue what her exact abilities are.”

 

“Why have we not pushed Buffy and Spike to allow these studies?” Wesley asked. “I understand them not wanting the Council to have dominion over their children, but that also leaves us blind as to what we might be dealing with. Either Raven or Journey could be the key to this whole thing.”

 

“Like Dawn was once upon a time?” Giles asked quietly. “Events have seemed to be following a predestined path since Raven and Elijah came into the picture. And we seem to have been blindly following it.” He sighed then leaned forward on the desk again. “I guess its back to the grindstone.”

 

“Giles, why don’t we demand answers?” Wesley said. “This whole thing is a farce. No one is willing to push those that have some of the answers. We aren’t testing the abilities of the people around us. Why not? It’s ridiculous. People are probably going to die, but we aren’t allowed to know why.”

 

Wesley stood to pace around the small office. His anger over what happened with Raven was only compounding the frustration he was feeling. People were depending on Giles and him to solve the mystery of what was going to happen, but yet they were stymied at every turn. By some of the very people they were trying to protect. It didn’t make sense. Shouldn’t everyone be giving one hundred percent to the effort?

 

“I don’t know, Wesley,” Giles said. “It doesn’t make sense. Buffy’s silence on the whole thing worries me…especially after what happened during her pregnancy. Yet Spike does trust her. All I can do is plod on here and hope that we find something to tie it all together.”

 

“And if we don’t find the answers in time?”

 

“Then I assume we’ve run out of luck,” Giles said. “And we’ve lost the war.”

 

It was what Wesley was afraid of; the world would be destroyed because of secrecy and egos. He shook his head as he remembered what happened with Connor. Should he take a risk again and do things on his own? Or should he try to trust those that didn’t seem to deserve it? It was a hard question. With a heavy sigh, he sat before Giles and reached for one of the books.

 

For now he could only do what he was best at. Research, advice and hope to hell it was enough. He shook his head as he copied the phrases they had already deciphered:

 

Three hearts forged into one soul

Two winged creatures born of hope

Thrice tempted, one convicted holds closed the gate by faith

One fallen and all is lost

 

 

 

 

to be continued…

Chapter 34 – Love is a Battlefield

 

 

 

We are young

Heartache to heartache we stand

No promises, No demands

Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong

Searchin’ our hearts for so long

Both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

You’re beggin’ me to go, you’re makin’ me stay

Why do you hurt me so bad?

It would help me to know

Do I stand in your way or am I the best thing you’ve had

Believe me, believe me, I can’t tell you why

But I’m trapped by your love and I’m chained to your side

                        Pat Benatar

 

 

 

Raven stood at the edge of the clearing, staring into the denseness of the woods that surrounded their cabin. Where she was standing was safety, another step or two and she would be in territory she wasn’t comfortable with. Once in another life, when she was still a child, back home in Lankasha she would run wild through the mountainous terrain of the forests that surrounded their village. There was no fear then. She knew what was in those woods, the evil fairy people outcast from their home, the good fairies that preferred the isolation, and the animals that were their friends or at least with which there was a truce.

 

Now she was an adult. Soft from years of living in the comfort of the modern world where magic was something to be hidden, where no one knew of her ancestry or of her status as a Slayer. Shame wound through her. She hated straddling the line. She hated who she had become. She missed the wild child she once was when everything was on display whether it was her emotions, her family’s magic, or her heart. This world she lived in now was one of games. Nothing was simple and she longed for the days where there wasn’t so much confusion. Or maybe she simply wanted to walk away from the burdens of being different.

 

Her father had.

 

Spike had chosen to give up his immortality and the exclusiveness of being one of the only two souled vampires alive. Now he was a hybrid. Belonging to neither world and seemingly hating both. If anyone was the object of misery it was William the Bloody, aka William T. Blood, the family man whose demon still longed to be on the killing fields, stifled by the role he had chosen out of love.

 

Raven didn’t want to be like that. She wanted either one world or the other. One world she could be all that she was, Lankasha, filled with centuries of magic, and a Slayer, a being created to vanquish the evil of the world, or she could be an ordinary eighteen year old girl living for the moment. If she chose the latter life than she would have to leave this world behind, too. Go where no one knew who she was and start over as whoever she wanted to be.

 

“Rave? You okay?” Connor called from the porch. “Dinner is ready.”

 

When she didn’t reply, she heard his footsteps behind her, coming closer, stifling her with his protectiveness and the love she once craved beyond reason. Tears started to flow down her cheeks as she looked into the darkness of the woods before her. And in that darkness, she saw the reflection of the blackness that was slowly eating away at her soul.

 

She turned back to the man who was her life, “I’m sorry, Connor. I’m sorry for everything. I love you.”

 

“I know you are,” Connor said, pulling her into his arms. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

“Is it? I’m afraid,” she swept her hand in the direction of the woods. “If you were blindfolded, tied up and dumped out there somewhere, you’d survive, you’d find your way out. Me, I’d curl up and whimper.”

 

“No, you wouldn’t,” Connor reassured her. He kissed the corner of her mouth, then her cheek before burying his face in her neck. “You’re a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for.”

 

“Only because of you,” Raven whispered, clinging to him. “I’m lost without you. Please, if this isn’t forever for you then leave now. Don’t break my heart again.”

 

“I won’t,” Connor promised, his hands roaming her back. “I’m here for always. For better or worse, I’m going to be beside you.”

 

Raven pulled back, needing to see it in his eyes. She relaxed when all she saw was love and determination in their depths. “Teach me, Destroyer; teach me how to survive whatever comes. I want to truly be able to stand beside you and not hold you back.”

 

At first there was hesitation in his eyes, but then he nodded. “Yes, I’ll teach you. Tomorrow morning we’ll start.”

 

“Don’t take it easy on me,” Raven demanded. She looked around them. “We don’t know what’s coming and I want to be able to not only survive but to be the warrior I need to be.”

 

Connor laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. “I promise. Okay? Can we eat now? The chili is perfection at the moment.”

 

She smiled up at him, giving him her heart again. She traced the planes of his face, letting her fingertips follow the curve of his lips. “Can it wait a little while? There’s something else I want you to teach me first.”

 

“Rave…,” Connor whispered. “I…I…are you sure?”

 

“Yes, make me yours,” Raven said. “I don’t want to be a child anymore. I want to be your woman until death does us part.”

 

They had both chosen words from traditional marriage vows during the course of their conversation. It was time. They could either cross the threshold together or separate for good. If she was truly who he wanted then he should finally claim her.

 

Connor looked to the sky for a moment before cupping her face in his hands and looking into her eyes. “Yes, Raven Blood, I will take you as my own, in the ways of your people, of my people and the future we will create together.”

 

“Yes,” Raven vowed. “Our future.”

 

Connor laughed, sweeping her up into his arms and striding toward the cabin. She clung to him, having no doubts about what they were about to do. She knew that he no longer had any doubts either. They were one, and they would create a life together with their own rules and their own ways.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

The Hyperion was quiet for a change. It was early evening and most of the Slayers were at dinner or up in their rooms. Fred breathed a sigh of relief as she made her way across the lobby. She didn’t really want to see any of those young women now. Not when she was still filled with self-doubts about what happened with Wesley. She knew he loved her, just as she loved him. But not for the first time she wondered if she could hold onto him. There had been no promises of forever, no popping of the big question, and they still had separate apartments. There was a lot of room left for wondering if he wanted forever.

 

“We shouldn’t have any problems finishing the prophecy in the next few days,” Wesley’s voice floated out into the hallway. He sighed. “Then we should hopefully get this ‘battle’ or whatever it is over with.”

 

“Don’t rush it,” Giles said. “We don’t want to make any mistakes.”

 

“Hi, you two,” Fred said in greeting as she stepped into the office. She raised the bag that was in her hand. “I brought over some food from the Thai restaurant. Hope you haven’t eaten.”

 

“No, we haven’t,” Wesley responded, standing. His face lit up when he looked at her which relieved a lot of her worries. The tender kiss on her cheek held promises of later. “Thank you. You are going to join us, aren’t you? Maybe even give us some of that brain of yours to help us out.”

 

“If you don’t mind,” Fred said, shyly as she looked over at Giles. She was still embarrassed by her fishwife routine earlier with the older Watcher.

 

“Of course not, Fred,” Giles said. “Please take a seat. Any help is appreciated, but I’m afraid I’m going upstairs to see my family for a little while.”

 

“Oh, sure, of course,” Fred rambled, letting Wesley take the bag from her. “Giles, I really do want to apologize for earlier. I was just all upset about…what happened, and I don’t think I was thinking too straight.”

 

Giles smiled at her, and then squeezed her shoulder. “It’s all right, Winifred. I understand. Things have been a little tense around here and everyone is entitled to their moments where they let loose.”

 

“Thank you,” Fred replied, with a smile. She didn’t want any more conflicts than she had to have. Filled with relief she gave Giles a spontaneous hug which he gratefully gave back to her.

 

“I’ll see you two in a little while,” Giles said, as he left the couple alone.

 

“Thank you, Fred,” Wesley said, pulling her attention back to him. He slipped his arms around her waist. “For bringing me dinner, for defending me, for always being there.”

 

“I love you, Wesley,” Fred murmured. She couldn’t look in his eyes. She couldn’t see the truth. That maybe he didn’t love her back.

 

“Fred, look at me,” Wesley said. “I love you. Once this prophecy business is taken care of how about you and I going away ourselves. Maybe go down to Mexico or fly over to Europe.” He hesitated for only a second. “We can plan our future.”

 

She couldn’t look away anymore. It was there in his eyes. The love she wanted from him. It had always been there.

 

“Yes, Wes, we need to,” Fred said. “No more putting it off.”

 

“No, ma’am,” Wesley teased her with a solemn nod of his head.

 

For now it was all right. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, needing the hug to chase away the rest of her fears. Some where in the moment of tenderness, she found the strength she needed to trust him again. Love was too hard in the life they led, and she wasn’t going to lose him. Not while her heart still beat faster when she saw him. Not while his eyes still lit up at seeing her. Not while they were still alive.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the morning that would start a new phase of his life. Nothing could take him higher than the way he was feeling at the moment. Buffy was behind him on the motorcycle as he wound through the streets of LA. He could feel her heartbeat, the touch of her hands as they held onto his hips and her humming some song that probably only made sense to her.

 

It was okay.

 

Everything was okay.

 

He’d fallen in love with his lady all over again when she said she wanted his baby. This time they were together on the decision and he swore if he had to hide Buffy away somewhere during her pregnancy he would. Nothing was going to become between them again. And today they were going away, just the two of them. No clue yet as to where they were going. They would let the bike take them where it wanted. It didn’t matter as long as they were alone.

 

One small item of business to take care of and they were on their way. Spike pulled the bike into the parking lot of Matrix, stopping by the door. Buffy hopped off before he did, smiling at him as he undid the strap of her helmet. His fingers caressed the softness of her neck, enjoying the lust that sprang up in her eyes. He leaned down to kiss her which wasn’t easy with the helmets on, but they managed.

 

“I want you soon,” Buffy whispered. “Get this over with fast or I may have you take me on your desk.”

 

“That would give the guys some entertainment,” Spike teased, as they took the helmets off and headed to the door. “And I don’t want anyone else gazing at your hot, little body.”

 

“Possessive much?” Buffy quipped, sashaying in front of him into the office. She reached for his hand, waiting for him to lead her into the back where they could hear the guys talking about some demons. The guys were all there with serious expressions on their faces, sending warning signals screaming through his brain. Something was wrong. He glanced at their faces as they looked from him then to Buffy. She stepped closer to him, unsure of these men she’d never met, except for Dylan, sitting cross-legged on a desk in the back of the office. Their eyes met for a moment and Spike could read the jealousy in the younger man’s eyes. It made him squeeze Buffy’s hand a little harder.

 

“Hey, everyone,” Spike said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

 

“Good you’re here,” Jake said. “Buffy dropping you off?”

 

“No,” Spike said, shaking his head at his boss. He hated to do this but his marriage and family was his number one priority. “I need to talk to you.”

 

“Shit, you ain’t quitting on us, are you?” Bob asked, crossing his arms as he looked Buffy over. “I mean I understand but…”

 

“I’ll handle this,” Jake said, with a sigh. “Look, Spike, I knew this was a temporary gig with you, but there has been a surge of demon activity in the last few days. We’re spread pretty thin. I need you.”

 

Buffy stiffened beside him. He wasn’t going to disappoint her. Not this time, he stepped back and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him. He hoped his message was clear to everyone.

 

“Look, I’m sorry, but I’ve got plans with my wife,” Spike started.

 

“She’s a Slayer,” Dylan said, speaking up for the first time.  He hopped off the desk and swaggered over to them. His disdainful glance at Buffy showed exactly what he thought of her. “Why doesn’t she come along and show us what she’s made of.”

 

This was going to be trouble. Spike just knew it would be. He’d hoped that Dylan would have taken the hint a long time ago, but it didn’t appear he was going to get that lucky. Ted laughed in the background while the other two men stared uncomfortably at the trio. It seemed even his boss was wondering how this showdown was going to go.

 

Buffy seemed to melt into Spike’s side, surprising him with her actions. Her fingers slipped between the buttons of his shirt, so she could caress the bare flesh of his stomach. Her legs separated letting his leg slip in between them while her head rested against his shoulder.

 

“I’d love to come along,” Buffy practically purred. “But I didn’t exactly pack for demon hunting.” She giggled low in her throat. “I’m afraid that I’d look a little silly fighting a demon in my negligee and stilettos. Don’t you think so, stud muffin?” She let her hand slip out of his shirt to trace a path up to his chest. She glanced up at him, flipping her hair before looking back at his now angry partner. “We’ve barely stopped making love for the last week.” She fanned herself. “My, oh, my have you ever been fucked by a vampire?” She flipped her hand. “I guess you wouldn’t have, would you? Poor darling. It’s a wonder I can walk at all.”

 

No one had said a word during Buffy’s performance least of all the very stunned Spike. Dylan was checkmated by his wife. Spike couldn’t deny his ego was stroked by their little fight, but he absolutely adored the fact that Buffy had won. He smiled down at her, then leaned down to kiss her, letting his tongue caress the warmth of her mouth before looking back up.

 

Jake cleared his throat breaking the moment. Spike glanced around at his comrades. He figured Buffy had won the hearts of Ted and Bob with the look of adoration they were giving her. It was Dylan that he was worried about. His partner was trying hard to hide the fury that was raging through him. He’d have to talk to him later and let him know the score.

 

“Spike, I understand what you were planning,” Jake said, bringing everyone’s attention back to him. “But we’ve got some demons that are terrorizing some ranches up in the mountains. We don’t have any idea what they are or where they came from. They’re not indigenous to that region that much we do know and we can use all the help we can get.”

 

“You’re not taking Dylan’s idea seriously, are you?” Spike scoffed. But he could tell Jake was serious. He wanted them to give up their time alone and go to some mountains to fight demons instead. He shook his head. “Look, it’s like Buffy said, we didn’t exactly pack for mountain fighting.”

 

“There’s a sporting goods store down the street,” Ted offered. “We could probably get everything she needs there. Personally, I’d like to see a Slayer in action.”

 

“Okay,” Buffy said, stepping away from Spike. She looked over at him. “I hate to say it, but it is our mission to fight evil. I can’t go off and enjoy myself knowing your friends are in unknown terrain fighting demons they don’t understand.”

 

The challenge had been accepted again. Spike smiled. It was the second time in one day that Buffy had floored him. Yep, his life was going good. “Give us the run down,” Spike said, sitting on his desk. He patted the space next to him for his wife. “Then we go shopping.”

 

 

to be continued…
 

Chapter 35 – Who Wouldn’t Wanna Be Me

 

 

 

‘Cause I’m ridin’ with my baby

And it’s a brand new day

We’re on the wheels of an angel

Flyin’ away

 

And the sun is shinin’

This road keeps windin’

Through the prettiest country

 

And I got the one I love beside me

My troubles behind me

I’m alive and I’m free

Who wouldn’t wanna be me?

            Keith Urban

 

 

Max glanced over at Faith, who was fidgeting again, seemingly unable to get comfortable in the passenger seat of his new phantom gray Toyota Camry. But he didn’t need to ask to know it had nothing to do with the comfort of his car. She didn’t want to be doing this with him. It was too intimate of a situation for them to be in and she was afraid that he would get ideas again. He sighed, reaching over to turn the music down.

 

“I know you don’t want to do this,” Max said, clearing his throat. He kept his eyes on the road. There was no way he wanted to see the guilt and relief that would be so easy to read on her face. “I only agreed because Buffy and Spike specifically asked us to watch over Sunnydale while they were gone.”

 

“And their house and kids,” Faith scoffed. “I figured out the plan already. You and me, the cute kids and the house. Give us a chance to see what it might be like…if…”

 

“I know,” Max said. “You don’t have to finish it. Don’t worry; I won’t try to make you see the light. I know that you and your little buddy have it all wrapped up in the fun department.”

 

“Don’t Max,” Faith warned. “You’re going to push it too far one of these days.”

 

He shrugged. “Sorry, Faith.”

 

“It’s okay,” she said, turning to him with a smile which he returned.

 

Friends. They were friends and some how he needed to wrap his mind around that concept. So, how would friends act? If it was Buffy beside him they’d be chatting about everything from her shoes to the kids to Spike. They’d found that comfortable middle ground, so he should be able to do the same with Faith. Except his crush on Buffy had never progressed to the point where his heart had taken a severe beating.

 

“So, how did Dylan handle your taking off with me?” Max said, curiosity prompting the question. He winced after he said it though. It wasn’t exactly idle conversation.

 

“If I said he was pissed off and jealous would it make you feel better?”

 

“No,” Max replied, after a moment of thinking it over. “I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with that.”

 

“Are you ever like…I don’t know…just a guy?” Faith asked, turning in her seat to look at him. “You’re always so…prissy.”

 

“I am not prissy.”

 

“Yes, you are,” Faith insisted with a giggle. “You have this fuddy-duddy routine, your clothes match all the time, and you’re just too nice.”

 

“A few minutes ago you said I was too pushy.”

 

“Then you immediately apologized.”

 

“My mother taught me to be a gentleman,” Max retorted. And his training and lifestyle had taught him to be very precise and careful. It was something that would always be with him. It could cost him not only his life but the life of someone else if he let go even for a moment.

 

Faith laughed before reaching over to turn the radio back up. She patted him on the leg lightly then her hand retreated to her own thigh. Her grin was infectious and he found himself laughing, too. One thing about being around this woman was that he never knew what to expect from one moment to the next.

 

“So,” Max said a moment later. He got her patented ‘here we go again’ looks when he turned the radio down. “Seriously…do I really come off as that…prissy?” He hated the word. He just couldn’t think of another one at the moment. “You’re a woman so what do I need to do to get women to notice me?”

 

“You thinking about asking someone out?” Faith asked.

 

He shrugged because he hadn’t really thought about actively searching for anyone. Life had been lonely. His close friends were all paired off. Maybe it was time he did start looking. He wanted Faith but she kept turning him down. It seemed to be a good time to try to get over her. To look for someone else that would be a better match for him.

 

“Why not?” Max said. “You’re the one who keeps saying I spend too much time alone and am turning into a grouchy old man.”

 

“So, I do,” Faith said. Suddenly she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Don’t change a thing, Maxim, you’re perfect the way you are. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

 

She returned to staring out the window leaving him flummoxed by her words. He could hear the pain in their inflection and in her eyes that were blinking back tears. He couldn’t say anything in answer. Anything that would come out of his mouth would make it worse. Instead he retreated, pulling out every piece of detail he’d memorized since Faith had first returned. Somewhere there had to be a clue as to why she continually rejected him when she gave off so many signals that were the opposite of her words. He wouldn’t rest until he knew the answer.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The sporting goods store was actually a few miles away from Matrix. Everyone had loaded their gear into the van that Jake would drive. The others climbed onto their bikes before heading over as a group. Ted had organized them once they got there. He sent Buffy and Spike to the dressing rooms, and then sent the guys to the different departments to get what she would need. He said it would save time this way. They wanted to get to their destination well before dark.

 

“Spike?” Buffy called. Her voice muted by the door between them. “Are you there?”

 

“Where else would I be, pet?” He smiled because he could just imagine her rolling her eyes at him.  “You ready to try clothes on.”

 

“Yeah, you alone?”

 

“At the moment,” Spike answered.

 

The door to the dressing room opened a crack so that Buffy could peek out. Once she was satisfied she stepped back so that he could see her. She was wearing only panties and bra. He licked his lips as he gazed at her. They weren’t just the usual everyday comfort underwear she usually wore. These were the ones for him, and well for her. The red ruffle hipster panties were so cute on her that he was tempted to join her in the dressing room. While he debated, Buffy turned just a slight bit so that her bottom was jutted toward him.

 

“Do you see something you like?” She asked while trailing her finger slowly along her hip.

 

“Buffy, you’re going to get us both in trouble,” he warned, glancing out to see if the guys were coming yet. They weren’t. He looked back to see her bending over.

 

“Oh, I think you’re the one who got us into trouble,” Buffy pouted, straightening up then turning to sit on the small bench. She allowed her legs to fall open, so that he could see exactly what she was offering. “All those wonderful toys are just going to…oh, my god, Spike,” she stood up with panic in her eyes. “Bob, he took my duffle bag. You don’t think he went through it, do you?” Her hand covered her face as all thoughts of teasing him vanished.

 

They had decided to leave Buffy’s original bag at the office since she wouldn’t need her frillier things for the job. She’d taken a few things out to put in Spike’s bag then after zipping it up, Spike had handed it off to Bob to lock up in the weapon’s room.

 

“What are you worried about? Even if he did, I’m sure he’s seen women’s clothing before,” Spike laughed, and shook his head.

 

“You don’t understand,” Buffy hissed. “Not only is Mr. Buzzy the seventh in there, but so are all the…well, the…other stuff is in there. It’s not something I want him to see.”

 

Spike couldn’t help but to break out in laughter. “I’m sure he didn’t go snooping.”

 

“Ooh, you want him to know, don’t you? You’re such a pig.”

 

“Hey, I’m not the one who made the big speech about fucking a vampire,” Spike was still laughing.

 

“Yeah, well you enjoyed that,” Buffy replied in a huff. She sat on the bench again, crossing her arms and legs in a way that told exactly the way she felt. “Stroked your ego, didn’t it?”

 

“Bloody hell, Luv, don’t want to get into a tussle about this,” Spike said, leaning on the door jamb. “I’d much rather have spent the weekend alone with you and your little bag of goodies.” He rubbed his chest to let her know that he meant what he said. What he got was a sandal aimed at his head. He ducked, letting it hit the wall on the other side of the hallway. “Now, calm down, pet.”

 

“Did you go and piss her off again?” Bob asked, heading into the dressing area with some jeans over his arms. He smiled when Spike closed the door so he wouldn’t see Buffy. “Man, you gotta learn how to treat a lady.”

 

“Thank you, Bob,” Buffy called out making Spike roll his eyes. “He needs to learn to appreciate me more.”

 

“Look, this store doesn’t sell any jeans so I had to go next door,” Bob explained, handing over a few pairs. “Try them on and the ones you don’t like I’ll take back,” he called through the door. “And Miss Buffy, don’t let this jackass of a husband of yours give you any shit.”

 

“I won’t,” Buffy called back. She giggled. “If he does I’ll just kick his ass.”

 

“Thanks mate,” Spike said, ignoring her with a shrug. It was just playing after all. He waited until his co-worker had disappeared into the store again to hand Buffy the jeans. “They don’t look like the fancy stuff you wear,” he remarked as she looked them over.

”They’ll do fine,” Buffy said, sliding a pair over her hips. “Just as long as they fit.”

 

She started moving around, squatting and bending over while staring in the mirror the whole time.

 

“Like the show, pet,” Spike said, watching her.

 

“I have to see if they’re comfortable or not,” Buffy said. She pulled that pair off then hurriedly tried the others on. “Nothing like good old Levis for getting the job done. Yep, they’ll do for this weekend.”

 

“I’m bringing shirts down,” Ted called, with his hand over his eyes. “A couple of sweatshirts, t-shirts and some thermal undershirts. It’s cold up there.”

 

“Thanks,” Spike replied, taking them from him, and then helping him turn around without Ted having to move his hand. Once he had bounced himself down the hallway, Spike knocked on the door.

 

Buffy reached out and took those. She shook them out, looked them over then slid a sweatshirt on. “They’ll work. Now for socks and shoes.”

 

“Dylan’s got that duty,” Ted called back. “I’ll go see what’s keeping him.”

 

“I’m here, I’m here,” Dylan said, pushing past the other men. He handed over a pair of hiking boots to Spike along with a package of heavy socks. “Don’t need to worry. I got the best brand they carry.” He added as Spike looked them over. “Don’t need a man down in the field. Oops, sorry, woman.” He shrugged. “Besides I had to impress.” He waved a piece of paper. “Got the salesman’s number.”

 

“Whore,” Buffy muttered under her breath. It took everything Spike had to pretend he didn’t hear it. He knew Dylan would never call the guy. It was just an attempt to show Spike that he didn’t care about the show Buffy had made earlir. Dylan did though and he wished Buffy wouldn’t be so heartless. Spike waited until Dylan headed back toward the other guys before opening the door. He slid into the room with his wife.

 

“You should be nicer, pet,” Spike said, dropping the shoes on the floor. He slipped his arms around her waist and kissed the tip of her nose. “He’s just a mixed up kid.”

 

“A mixed up kid who wants you,” Buffy said, her hands splayed across his chest. “I just don’t trust the guy.”

 

“It’s me you don’t trust,” Spike said. “Is it?” He hugged her tight. Not even caring that she didn’t say anything to refute his statement. He’d earned her distrust. Soon it would be over with though. Once he was home with her and Dylan was just part of the past it wouldn’t matter anymore.

 

“I love you, Spike,” Buffy whispered, rising on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck.  “I do trust you.” She took his chin in her hand to make him look at her when he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I do, okay? You haven’t given me a reason to doubt you in a very long time.”

 

He wanted to believe her. He decided that everything was going too good between them to doubt her words. So, he kissed her until she was smiling again. “Come on, we need to get going.”

 

They sorted through the clothes, taking the ones she wanted and headed out. It didn’t take long for them to pay for things, pack them in a new duffel bag, and leave. Everyone loaded up again, Buffy climbing onto the back of the motorcycle behind him.

 

“Remember,” She whispered, before he started the engine. Her hands slid along his hips, down his thighs and back again.

 

Yeah, he remembered. How could he ever forget? The days when it all started between them. Suddenly he let everything go but the feel of the bike beneath him and his girl wrapped behind him. They were together. The way he always wanted them to be. He was the happiest man on earth.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

No matter how much he cared about the rest of the family, Angel was grateful that the house was quiet except for Cordy and himself. He’d given her nurse the night off so they could have some time alone. Unlike most couples there wasn’t a romantic candlelit dinner for two, or even passionate lovemaking. Instead they were wrapped up in blankets on the verandah just watching the ocean roll in under the waning sun.

 

If he closed his eyes he could believe for just a little while that everything would be all right. That this woman in his arms wasn’t going to leave him alone soon. A fragile hand was tucked inside his so much larger one. Her breath fanned over his chest in erratic whispers. He kissed her forehead, then moved his cheek over her hair, letting it tickle him.

 

“What did Gunn want earlier?” Cordelia asked.

 

“Not much,” Angel replied, hating that he couldn’t tell her the truth. “Just some questions about a client of the law firm.”

 

“I wish we’d never accepted the deal.”

 

“Why? We’ve done some real good,” Angel said. “Yeah, we’ve made some compromises, but overall I think we’ve done more good than bad.”

 

“Do you think so?” Cordelia asked, turning to look at him. “We used to take out the bad guys, not help keep them in business.”

 

Angel sighed, and pulled her a little closer. This way he didn’t have to see the condemnation in her eyes. She knew the night club that Raven had been attacked in hadn’t been closed down. He’d braced himself for an argument from her, but she only looked disappointed in him. It hurt. There wasn’t much time left for them and he didn’t want any regrets for her. He wanted to explain everything to her. His plan for when she was gone of how he would sacrifice himself to bring that law firm down. A blaze of glory for the righteous in her name.

 

“I hated having to compromise,” Angel said. “I didn’t have a choice.”

 

“There’s always a choice,” Cordelia said, squeezing his hand. “Sometimes it’s just hard to see which one is the right answer.”

 

“That’s what you’re here for,” Angel whispered. “You’re my light, remember?”

 

She didn’t say anything, but he felt her tears against his skin. He gathered her closer and watched the day slip away into the night.

 

 

 

to be continued…