From Night to Day

Author: Mercy

Disclaimers: I own nothing they belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy, I just borrow them on occasion. But I wish I owned some of them..maybe one day in my dreams...lol..not!!!

Summary: Buffy is living with her mother and Dawn in Sunnydale, her next door neighbours house goes up for sale. Guess who moves in next door with a baby, all cute and gorgeous, and I mean besides the baby. But there are a few obstacles along the way, and not to mention their differences in age. Buffy is trying to deal with a dark time in her life and she looking for the strength to conquer it. He is looking for something that he thinks his lost, his trying to learn to live again, and maybe love again.

But love is blind, renewing for the spirit and divine for the soul~~~ who says me Mercy me (he he)

Timeline: AU all the way

Rating: PG 13 to begin continuing to NC-17 with a hint of R somewhere along the way

Chapter One For Sale

The loud bagging of a hammer moved in time with the second hand on her watch, as she peered at it once again. She was going to be late again. Snyder was going to kill her for sure this time, this would be the third time this month that she was late, and she'd get a detention for sure.

"Come on Mum, I'm late again, Snyder's gonna love this.", Dawn yelled towards her mother, as she made her way to the front door, "Can't I just stake him and be done with it already!"

"Okay, okay, just wait a minute!" Joyce voice was strained at hearing her daughters demands, as she scramble around her looking for her keys, "I cannot find my keys, where are they?"

"There on the coffee table mom!" Buffy said with a laugh as she bounded down the stairs, "Where you always leave them!"

Joyce walked to the table, pick up her keys and motioned to her two daughters to vacate the house, with a sweeping of her hands, "Let's go!"

The hammering that could be heard earlier became more acute as the front door opened, and the family left the house. It became apparent as the girls walked toward the Jeep, that a 'FOR SALE' sign was being erected on the neighbours' front lawn. Sitting there as bold as brass telling the world that the old Coopers' place had finally gone up for sale, after years of neglect by the previous owners. The gardens resembled a forest more than flower beds and lawns, the trees hadn't been trimmed in years, and the house looked like it was about to cave in.

"So Old Man Coopers' finally hit the bucket!", Dawn stating the obvious for all.

"Dawn, don't speak about the dead like that!", her mother responded harshly.

"Buuttt Mommmm !!!!"

"Dawn it isn't proper to speak of the dead like that, even if he was a pain in the backside", Joyce commented with a smirk on her face, both of her two girls breaking out in laughter at their mothers little outburst.

"Well let's just hope that who ever buys the place isn't as creepy as Old Man Cooper was", Buffy looked at the old house hoping against hope that the new owners wouldn't be a weird as Old Man Cooper had been.

The drive to Sunnydale High went quickly and without much comment from any of the passengers in the car. Dawn was too interested in the homework that she hadn't done the night before, and Buffy with the make up she had yet to apply before she got to class.

"Well Miss I hope that you put as much effort in your studies as you do your make up!"

Joyce reprimanding her daughter for her lack of interest in her schooling, as she pulled into the school drive. This had become a major issue in the Summers' household this last term. Buffy's grades had been falling and Joyce was beginning to wounder why....there was no apparent reason, but she wondered if it has something to do with that dreadful man Riley. Her boyfriend in collage, Riley had just dumped her on her 18th birthday, and Joyce still had yet to prize it out of Buffy why they had split.

She still couldn't believe that her eldest had turned 18, and Dawn was about to turn 15, since they were such contradictions of each other. Buffy was wild and impulsive, but had a responsible attitude, and Dawn was serious and studious, with her face forever in a book, or doing her homework. They were like chalk and cheese, she wondered sometimes how they ever could be related to each other.

Joyce let out a long sigh, as she watched her eldest finish applying her make up, and pulled out of the curve to continue on their journey onto Sunnydale campus to drop off Buffy for her day's classes.

'Ugh, psychology again', Buffy wondered to herself as she made her way down to her class, 'Why do we have to do something that I swear I'll never use in my lifetime?'. As she turned the corner she was approaching, she collided with another human being that happened to be the male that filled some of her waking thoughts, and her sleep with nightmares.....Riley.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry, here let me help you", Riley said to Buffy as she picked up the books that had been knocked out her hands, and had gone flying across the hallway.

"Its okay, I I I I don't need anyyyyyy help thank you", she stuttered as she stumbled to pick up her books, and tried to find her composure that she seemed to have lost.

"But Buff, I can help?", Riley tried to help pick up her books that still remained on the floor.

"I don't need or want your type of help", Buffy finished retrieving her books, looking at Riley with a sense of disgusted on her face.

"Hey Buffy, what offence did I commit to deserve this type of treatment?"

"I would have thought the fact that you're still breathing was an offence", Buffy retorted to his stupid statement, he knew what he had done to her.

"So what, one day you breathe hot then cold", Riley snorted out, "What are you dead, or something?"

"Only where you're concerned."

"What did I do to you?"

Buffy hesitated with the attention that they seemed to be drawing in, from the crowd around them. She contemplated it for about 0.25 seconds and thought 'why not?' and finally did something she should have done ages ago.

"Riley, you say that I blow hot and cold, but at least I know what 'yes' and 'no' means. Not 'yes' means 'no', and 'stop' means rip my blouse off", Buffy said it in a calm and loud voice, and with what little nerve she had left she turned and walked away from the little scene.

She'd done it, she'd showed him that Buffy Summers was one not to be played with, used or abused. She promised herself from that day on that no man would ever walk over her again..........

Three Weeks Later

A solitary figure moved in front of the house with a very tightly bundled bit of woollen cloth, pulled close to his chest. He gently bobbed the bundle up and down in his hands, slowly and rhythmically, keeping it close to him at all times. He pulled it even closer to his body as he bent down, pulled out a large envelope in his hands, and removed the "SOLD" sticker. He looked at the sticker for a little while, as if mesmerised by it. It's definitive meaning, which meant more to him than anyone could ever conceive.

What it would mean to him and the little bundle he held in his arms.

It was so final, but also a new beginning..........like shutting an old door, and opening a new one.

"Well Little Bit welcome to our new home", the figure removed the back of the sticker and balanced the bundle on one knee as he placed it on the FOR SALE sign.

Unbeknownst to the man he was being watched by a single female next door, looking out the window of her bedroom on the second floor. Watching the solitary figure with the bundle in his hands, she noticed the striking platinum blonde hair and most importantly she thought, 'oh my god what a hottie !! '. But the bundle began to squirm and cry out, she couldn't help but notice the baby within his arms, trying to get out of its restraint in the blanket it was wrapped in. She watched as the stranger tried to sooth the baby, with a voice that she couldn't hear, but only could imagine, as the baby settled to his rhythm of speech, she wondered what lullaby he appeared to be singing to the infant. . "Please, please, please be the new owner, and please not be married, or let the kid be your brother", Buffy whispered to herself, as she continued to watch the two as they turned and began to walk in the direction of the Summers house, and move to the sidewalk.

Buffy continued to watch the man and child walk down the street, looking at him as closely as she could. She noticed the hard clean line of his dominate cheek bones, and square jaw, but was continually drawn back to that hair. It was short and slicked back to the sides, but what most attention grabbing was its colour. It's platinum blond, almost white in colour, absolutely contrasted by the black jeans and long black leather jacket he wore. The combination was so lethal it should be illegal, Buffy contemplated too herself, he was so alluring to her at that moment in time. With this thought she caught herself short, catching herself off guard, she couldn't believe that she had just thought, what she'd thought. Trying to remember the promise she had made to herself concerning men, or any man in fact.

"Oh my god, just what I need a Billy Idol wanna be!" she spoke aloud to herself. Chiding herself for even thinking bad thoughts, especially after what Riley had done to her. She was so off men. But she couldn't help herself but be drawn to this man, to a place she feared would bring her to a dark place again. A place she felt would only bring her weakness, when she craved only strength to free herself from the darkness that Riley had brought into her life.

She had decided that she would never allow a man to create such havoc in her life again. Especially after the night that Riley had decided that he'd waited enough time for Buffy too come her senses and give him what he wanted. Which in this case had been his demand to take their relationship further. Something that Buffy herself had not been ready to do, it had not been the right moment for her and she hadn't felt it was the right time in their relationship yet.

But Riley had decided for them both, that it had been indeed the right time, much to Buffy's cries of 'no' and 'please stop'. He simply decided to ignore her, and in the end only created a nightmare for Buffy. One that seemed to haunt her at night in her dreams and created chaos in her attempts to move forward with her life.

And she wanted her life back again......

Chapter Two Moving In

"Hey watch it will you!", yelled a voice that didn't belong in Buffy's cloudy brain, she tried to ignore it, and reached for her blankets and pulled them over her head. It was too early in the morning and too cold, to have to even have think about what was going on around her.

"Where you want it mister???" another voice penetrated into Buffy's head, grating over her already tired brain cells. She begrudgingly pulled the covers down and looked at her bedside clock.

7.43 AM

"Upstairs, the first room to the right", the first voice that she had heard before sounded again.

"Why me? Why now? What have I done to deserve this?" Buffy grumbled to no one but herself, "It's Saturday for goodness sake!!!"

She stumbled out of her bed over to her window, looking out she saw what had created the racket that had awoken her up. A large moving van was parked outside the front of Old Coopers' place, two burly men in grey overalls moved furniture and boxes on the front lawn of next door. A mixture of old and modern furniture formed a menagerie on the front yard. It resembled more of a jumble sale than a moving in thingy, Buffy thought.

A car door slamming caught her attention, with the accompanying "Bugger" that went with it. The distant English accent was strong and piercing. The owner's annoyance reverberated in the air as it was carried into Buffy's ears. Snapping her head towards the owner of the voice she saw the back of the platinum head that could have only belonged to her mystery man from the other day. He was holding a cell phone to his ear, as he began to pace the lawn, his annoyance to whom ever he was talking too expressed in his gait and the irritation in his face that only hardened the chiselled look of his face.

What ever it was he was really pissed.

In that moment he turned and looked up into his neighbours house, up to the second story and saw the figure that stood at the window. Staring at the young girl, he plainly saw her amusement at his displeasure, only making him seethe more at the disaster that had been his day already, and he hadn't even had a coffee or a smoke yet.

The day had been a total catastrophe, the movers had shown up two hours earlier than expected, making him totally unprepared for the day, and interrupting his sleep. Not that he got much lately, and if any it was so broken that he felt like a dropped drinking glass, that had shattered into a thousand pieces. So much like his life in the last three months. So broken he thought sometimes that he may never be able to glue it back together again. But he had to get his life back on track, because he had more than himself to think about, something more important than his own life.

Reflecting on his thoughts, his hands went into his pockets looking for the smokes that he had hastily given up a few weeks ago. His mind raced to think whether he had an old packet in the car, or anywhere within the packing boxes.

"Bugger, of all the bloody stupid times!!!", he swore to himself, turning around towards the house, the young girl in the window was the least of his concerns, as he was drawn deep into other worries that whorled around in his mind. She was forgotten within the same instant that he noticed her.

"No Mum I wasn't talking to you!!", the accent becoming more broad and strained within the contexts of his conversation, "Please Mum don't worry we will be alright!!"

"Yes Mum I have your number in the phone don't worry"

"Yes Mum any sign of trouble I call you straight away"

"Mum you know why I had to leave!!", Buffy watched as his face turned pale, drained of all colour, his head bowed down to the ground, "I can't stay there mum, please don't ask again!!"

With a flick of his wrist he turned the cell off, and turned towards the car once again, he moved towards the front passenger door, looking in the glove compartment, finding what he'd been looking for.

Sod it, he thought to himself, as he light up a stale cigarette, the bitter sour taste filled his mouth and the smoke caused his head to spin. He let the repulsive stale smoke fill his lung and his senses, it was if it was the only sense feeling he had left in his being.

He felt numb from the inside out, and all he wanted to do was feel again, the emptiness was killing him...........

Buffy watched as the peroxide blond moved in a hurried rush around his own lawn talking into his cell phone. She moved back quickly from the window as she saw the blondes face look into her window noticing her presence. Her presence was noticed, and one that she didn't think that he seemed to like, with the hardened look of disapproval in his face. Even from the distance of her window she could see the tension in his face causing the muscles on his cheek bones to strain. Buffy realised at that moment in time that this was one fellow that she wouldn't like to irritate.

But as quickly as he glared at her, he turned and began roaming back towards his own house. Talking it would appear to his mom, and a very worried mom at that. It kinda reminded Buffy about how here own mom worried too much about her.

'Like hello I am 18', Buffy thought to herself.

She continued to watch as, he moved back towards his car, terminating his conversation on the cell, leaning in through the door, finding something, a cigarette, lighting it up, and inhaling deeply. Buffy could feel her own stomach turn at the thought of the second hand smoke. She looked deeper into the interior of the car, she observed what appeared to be a baby seat with the back seat of the car. Lying within it she could see a bright florescent green blanket, she couldn't make out whether an infant lay within it, or it was just covered with a blanket.

"Ok so we have baby, where's mom?", Buffy's mind raced thinking where was the baby's mother. Reflecting back to her first sighting of the mystery man, he was alone then, but he must be married or something....where was the child's mother. She looked around the neighbour's yard and saw no woman present. The baby must be with its mom she thought, but she heard the first howl of the infant that did indeed lie within the baby seat.

The new neighbour quickly extinguished the cigarette that lay between his lips, and removed the squalling infant from the baby seat. He quickly moved to pickup a baby bag that lay next to the baby seat and slammed the back door. Only making the little one cry even louder, and wriggle within his arms. He quickly made his way into the house and disappeared from view.

The smoke that had filled his lungs now made him feel like he wanted to be sick, but this didn't stop him from inhaling more with his next breathe, making him feel like he was going to gag on his next inspiration on the oxygen and smoke filled gas.

Life and death in the same breathe.

What a contradiction he contemplated, as he heard the baby begin to cry, demanding attention. He extinguished the cigarette that had been creating such an overwhelming feeling of physical and emotional turmoil within him. He went to retrieve the baby from the car seat, the baby bag that lay beside it and quickly moved towards the house.

His mind began to wonder as the life he held in his arms became insistent and wanted to be feed. And probably a nappy change wouldn't hurt, the smell coming from the nappy was just horrendous.

"What have we been feeding you Little Bit"

Laying the baby on the counter in the kitchen that they know stood within, he went about changing the baby. His mind lost in deep thoughts of a woman happy and stunningly beautiful with pregnancy, thinking that she should be here, now, and in this moment. Sharing every moment with their child, every cry, smile, word, and even a dirty nappy or two.

But that dream had been shattered so quickly and agonizingly by one bleak moment in time. And one drunk driver, who never saw the BMW coming the other way, he was so drunk that he couldn't keep his head up and didn't see the headlights of the other car. Not even as he ploughed in the BMW, causing the owner and his wife to be thrown around like marbles, triggering one of them to splinter into a thousand pieces. Causing the untimely birth of their child and the haemorrhage that eventually seeped the life force out of her.

The baby oblivious to these poignant thoughts within her fathers head gurgled and began pulling at her feet. Seemingly happy to have a new nappy on and playfully went about further exploring her toes. A smile or something that resembled a smile adorned the little face, making the father lose his scowl, reminding him this is what was now the most important thing in his life.

His child........and no one or anything else mattered more than his child.

Buffy was not the only one to see the new arrivals, Joyce had noticed the young man struggle with his own thoughts and the baby. Her heart ached at the sight, and her maternal instincts cut in, driving her into the kitchen and the stove. She quickly prepared the milk and retrieved the thermos from its hiding place from the back of the pantry.

Making her way over to the Coopers' place she knocked on the door, and waited for the shadows she saw move within come to the back door. With the swing of the door there within stood a very handsome man and a half naked baby about six months old in only a nappy.

"Hi, I'm your neighbour form next door, ummm Joyce", Joyce moved closer to the two, "I thought you could use a hand, or something".

She lifted the thermos in the air, placed the other hand on the screen door opening it and coming straight in. Causing the occupants to move back further into the house, and out of Joyce's way as she barged in, moving straight into the kitchen, she surveyed her surroundings.

"What lady you don't need an invitation or something?", the open hostility causing Joyce to cringe somewhat. Causing the baby to cry, and wriggle about in between the two arms that held her within them. The baby leaned with arms out stretched towards Joyce, crying harder and making her intentions even clearer. She wanted Joyce to take her from her fathers embrace, and give her a cuddle. Joyce's motherly intuition made her move forward and take the baby from her father, and begin to soothe the child with a little jiggle of the baby and soft words uttered from her mouth.

"There's some milk in the thermos for you, I thought that a nice hot drink was just what you needed", Joyce indicated to the stainless steel container that still lay within her hand. She indicated to the new neighbour that he should take it. Opening it up he looked in at the contents, smelt the aroma that permeated from it and began to laugh at its contents.

"Hot bloody Chocolate!!", the British accent softened and was almost unheard by those in the room, "Got any of those little marshmallows to go with that???"

Joyce indicated to the bag that was slung from her shoulder, he moved forward and removed her burden, only to find it full of goodies. Enough to have a sugar rush from for a very long time.

"I thought if you're anything like my kids, you'd have a very sweet tooth and would like some junk food to tide you over until you can go to the market."

"Thanks I appreciate the thought"

"Your welcome"

Joyce moved the baby over to her hip as she moved towards counter, and what appeared to be the baby bag. Opening it up she took out a baby bottle, and moved toward the microwave, she'd spotted earlier. Putting it inside and turning it on to heat the baby's food.

"You're very forth right in some one else house you don't know!!"

"Yes my girls say I'm like a bull in a china shop, it doesn't matter where I am if I can help I do, it's in my nature", Joyce watched as the digital timer counted down on the microwave.

"Yes Buffy thinks-" , Joyce began to stammer.

"Buffy.....did you say Buffy?", he couldn't contain his amusement at the name.

"Yes and what's wrong with that name, it's the name I gave her"

"Um, ewh, um, well nothing I suppose"

"And just what would your name be young man?", Joyce demanded from this strange man before her.

"Um William, William Benson"

"William, hmmm, I would have thought of something else. Something more liking with your ummmmm", lost for words Joyce couldn't think of what to say.

"More like Spike?", Spike chuckled at the woman before him, "Spike to my friends."

Joyce laughed at the mans' nickname, yes it seemed to fit him perfectly. The timer went of on the microwave, she took out the bottle, tested it for temperature, and deciding it was just right, she proceed to feed the baby.

"And this little ones name?"

"Imogen"

"Imogen, what a gorgeous name. Who is she named after?"

"My mother said she was the spitting image of me when she was born, I couldn't think of a name so Imogen stuck"

"She didn't look like your wife?", Joyce looked around for a while, "She didn't come with you today?"

"No", his scowl returned to his face. Joyce thought better than tempting fate, to find out the truth to the where about of his wife.

"Oh, well in that case, umm why don't I be neighbourly and invite you over for breakfast, seeing that is one has already had hers, and I'm sure you're hungry"

"Um, I don't know the movers still have to move the stuff in"

"Let them move your stuff in, the girls and I volunteer to help you get your stuff in the way you like later. Come on, come and have some real food", nudging the bag full of snacks and junk food. "Real home cooking, I promise you that."

"Um, I don't know"

"Please come, you can meet my girls, I'm sure that they'd like to meet you and the baby!!", Joyce put the bottle down on the bench as the baby was finished, and began to rub the baby's back, until she let out a large 'burp'.

"And I haven't finished holding this gorgeous one yet!!", Joyce cuddled the baby.

"Okay, Okay", Spike gave into the wants of his new neighbour. Looks like he'd found himself a new babysitter, he wondered if her girls where old enough to baby-sit as well.

Maybe breakfast wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Mom, Mom", Buffy yelled not finding her mother in her bed. Surely the same noise that had awoken her had gotten her mother up. Bounding down the stair case in her pyjamas and fluffy bunny slippers, she grabbed the mantle and swung herself around. She came hurtling around the staircase to find herself standing in front of her mother and her new neighbour. She found herself gob smacked and unable to find any words at being confronted by both of them only in her pyjamas, and kiddie slippers.

She was absolutely horrified.

She felt the scrutiny of the man in front of her as she stood before him, his quick appraisal of what she wore, and the smirk that had fallen upon his face. She quickly looked down at what she wore, promptly went a bright red and turned and ran back up the stairs.

"At least you could have told us we were having company", Buffy said as she scrambled her way back to her bedroom.

Spike looked at Joyce bemused at the play that had unfolded before him, between the two women, and the girl and himself. He couldn't believe someone could be so shy, or embarrassed so easily. She was dressed, but by the way she had run off you think that she had been naked.

"You must forgive her, she's not the best thing in the morning", Joyce began making excuses for her daughter.

"Its okay, more of a night man myself. Well since Imogen anyway", Spike replied trying to relieve some of Joyce's clear embarrassment.

"Let me guess, Buffy?", Spike spoke again, lifting his eyebrow towards the roof, indicating towards the stair case, with tilt of his neck.

"Umm yes, Buffy my eldest."

"More children Joyce, boy or girl?", Spike looking upstairs waiting to see if anymore came bounding down the staircase like their sister, hoping that they would be a little more hospitable than the last.

"Just Dawn, my youngest", Joyce took two steps up the staircase, "Dawn come down and meet the neighbour, and Buffy get dressed and get yourself down her young lady!!"

Joyce indicated that Spike move into the kitchen, and to take a seat by the counter, she still held the baby within her arms, who was now sleeping, she handed Imogen back to her father after he sat down. Spike took Imogen back into his arms, rocking her slowly hoping to keep the infant sleeping as long as he could.

"Hey mom, did you say the new neighbour was here??", Dawn sprouted as she can into the kitchen, her attention drawn straight to the sleeping infant, "Awh aint she cute, can I hold her?"

"Dawn the baby's asleep, better not to wake her", Joyce said, attempting to stop the girl from plying the baby out of her fathers arms.

Dawn moved around next to the man in the kitchen, and slowly began to touch the baby, careful not to wake her. Just looking at the small hands and feet, brushing back the tuff of hair that lay on the babies head, it was a thick dark brown, curly and so soft. She had a strong resemblance to the man in front of her, it was clear that he was her father, no question about it.

"What's her name, how old is she, where did you move from, where...???", Dawn began the volley of questions towards the stranger in her kitchen like typical Dawn, 'I wanna know everything' style.

"Dawn not so many questions. The poor man just moved here, let him be", Joyce's annoyance was evident towards her daughter.

At that moment in time Buffy decided to make an appearance to the entrance of the kitchen. This time dressed in jeans and a black coloured jumper, her honey coloured hair severely pulled back into a pony tail. Hands in pockets and with decidedly defensive body language she moved into the kitchen beside her mother.

"Spike these are my daughters Buffy and Dawn", Joyce indicated towards her daughters.

"Hello, nice to meet you", Spike looked at each of the girls, instantly liking the younger and not sure of what to make of the elder.

"Hey Spike welcome to Sunnydale, the hellmouth of the west", Dawn greeted the new neighbour.

"Hellmouth??"

"Dawn !!!", Joyce chided her child.

"But mom, it is!!!!"

"Dawn, go down to the basement, I think that your baby bouncers still down there somewhere. Go get it and bring it back of stairs for Imogen.", Joyce requested of her daughter.

"Imogen ??", Dawn questioned her mother.

"Hello Dawn, the baby, you know, the little human being in the room", Buffy pointed towards the sleeping infant.

"Oh, okay, be back soon", Dawn made her way to the door leading to the basement, and disappeared behind the door.

"If you'll excuse me, I think that I maybe able to find a blanket for the baby while she's asleep in the baby bouncer", Joyce stood up and moved disappearing into the hall way, leaving Buffy and Spike alone.

They just stared at each other, not knowing what to say to each other, summing each other up like opponents in bout, about to come out of their corners, ready to fight. Buffy stood still and moving her weight from one foot to another, just continuing to stare at Spike. Spike just sat there and looked at her with a look of discontent on his face, like he didn't want to be there, in the kitchen with her.

"So what's your story?", Buffy spoke first at last.

"My story??", Spike looked quizzically at her with a tilt of his head.

"Yeah your get up"

"My get up??"

"Well hello, the clothes, the hair, the leather jacket, I mean it is so 80's", a smirked appeared on her face, like she'd won the first round in the duel going on between them. But a smirk appeared on her opponent, and evil grin enveloped his face as he replied, to her little outburst.

"It makes me feel more manly", Spike ran a hand down his arm of the jacket, that held the baby within, "What you have a problem with the coat??"

"What did Billy Idol have a closet sale or something??", with that Buffy, moved towards the counter and leaned over touched the baby's head stoking her hair, and playing with her little hands.

"What jealous love?" Spike replied tartly, " Did the Bag lady do your shopping for you?"

He couldn't help volley her insult back, but he detected the humour in amongst whatever was making her grumpy. Spike sensed a spitfire in there somewhere, she just had to grow up some more, well maybe just a little bit. Buffy stormed out of the kitchen, her foot steps making loud 'clomps' as she moved down the hall, and walked out of the house. The slam of the door, causing the walls to vibrate and Imogen to wake up startled and begin to howl the house down.

She had no idea where she was going, as she walked down the footpath of her street, she felt that maybe she'd been a little bit to harsh on her new neighbour. Maybe she should go back and apologise for being rude. But then again he was just as rude, maybe she shouldn't apologise, maybe he should first. She was quiet confused about what to do, but realised that living next door to him and his family maybe interesting indeed. But at least he wasn't as weird as Old Man Cooper had been, but Buffy wondered where his wife was, and she hadn't seemed to be around, nor had she seen anything to resemble any woman's things amongst the menagerie on the front lawn.

Another thought that had entered her mind she absolutely couldn't stop thinking how gorgeous he was close up, no wonder she reacted the way she did. She'd done it to get away from him and the emotional response that he was beginning to have on her. She couldn't help but be honest with herself, she was beginning to get a crush, 'but they where only for girls Dawn's age', Buffy thought to herself.

But the truth has a habit of coming out, she was getting a crush......and she didn't know what to do about it. Crushes lead to thoughts and feelings that she'd rather not experience, to her a loss of all the self control that she had gained since the incident with Riley. 'Or was this only lust', Buffy considered, he was old enough to be at least 25-27 and way out her league, who would be interested in a collage girl her age.

Maybe there was no wife, maybe he was divorced, living next to Spike and co was going to be very interesting indeed, as a glimmer of hope and feelings long denied stirred in Buffy. Maybe there was hope after all.......

Chapter 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Crush~~

Days had turned into weeks, since the arrival of Spike and Co. into the Sunnydale community. It certainly had created gossip for the local grapevine, and enough fodder for the busybodies in town to keep them feed for weeks. The appearance of an attractive man with no wife was enough to keep to the unmarried and married women for a fact, of all ages running to the hair and beauty salon without delay, trying to catch what appeared to be the hottest and most available guy in town.

The Summer's family had become friendly with the new arrivals, Dawn became a regular visitor to the household to mind Imogen when her father was busy, and the babysitting money was good for Dawn. Joyce dropped in to make sure the single father was coping with the baby, and supplying endless dinners for him. And Buffy, she sort off just popped in to drag Dawn home when needed, or took leftovers for the neighbour to have dinner, or to invite the family to dinner.

He became a regular in the Summer's household as much as the family had in his. Life was good.........for now.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"They're saying what???" Spike embarrassment was showing clearly all over his face, he was so red he looked like a tomato. His annoyance at being the subject of gossip was making him so annoyed that, the steam was literally blowing out of his ears.

"The woman in town think you're just a cutie!", Dawn sat in front of Spike in the Summers' lounge room, playing with Imogen, bring him up to speed with the gossip that he had been generating since his arrival into town. She was relishing in his apparent embarrassment, and just loved watching his face get redder and redder.

"Oh and they also think you're a 'hottie', or so Janice's mom said.", Dawn was going to milk this one for all it was worth, she couldn't help herself, she was just enjoying herself to much. Her grin on her face was just contagious as Imogen began to gurgle to herself, and begin to attempt to grab at the toys that lay in between her and Dawn.

"See even Imogen agrees with them", Dawn looked down at the baby, picking up a toy for her to play with.

"Agree with what?", Buffy asked as she entered the room from the direction of the kitchen. Inquiring what the two were debating about, moving over to her sister, casting her attention towards the baby, "Hey Little One!"

"Bit", Spike replied towards the two sisters.

"'Bit'", Buffy turned her head up at Spike, seeing blue observant eyes that seemed at that point to be summing her up, or maybe she was just being paranoid, at that point she didn't care, as she felt those unwanted little 'crush' type feelings arise deep down in the pit of her stomach.

"Imogen, her nicknames is 'Little Bit'"

"Oh, um sorry", Buffy tried to move her eyes back to the baby but she couldn't, she felt caught in the embrace of the deep crystal blue stare of his gaze, as if enthralled. She felt a little silly, how could she be attracted to this man, he was way to old, he had a baby, he was her neighbour, and most importantly her mom would kill her if she ever knew about these crazy ideas and emotions that were going on in her head. But what Buffy felt most was the feeling of impending doom that accompanied these feelings, of losing herself in the abyss that she wanted to avoid at all cost.

Spike couldn't help but see the wheels churn around in Buffy's head; he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. If only she knew what was going on in his, she would run away as fast as she could, the fact that he fancied the little chit, probably would be enough to scare her off. The reality was that he was probably too old for her, he was a single parent, she was the girl next door, and her mum would probably take an axe over his head, if he even tried anything.

He even questioned the validity of theses feelings as he'd only known her for such a short time, the instant attraction he felt for her was like a coin, two sided. On one side he felt this rush of attraction filled with extra helpings of lust, and on the other pure guilt for even just thinking such things about her. It was too soon, too fast for him, he felt out of control of his life, and at the moment he felt like he was hanging on by a thread.

Buffy watched Spike as he seemed to be considering something with great thought, she noted the worried look in his eyes, and the hardening of his features. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, what was troubling him so. She considered her own worrying thoughts and decided it was best left for later, considering that really she didn't want to really think about them in his presence, it only warped her thoughts.

"Come on Dawn, Mom wants us home", Buffy looked at her sister, "Dad's due for his visit and its Pizza Night, remember??"

"Oh come on Buff, we both know he ain't gonna come", the look on Dawnie's face said it all, Hank their father was due to visit, but as always he'd be AWOL. He never came, and hadn't shown up for about 2 months now; he always found an excuse not to visit his daughters.

"Your dad coming to see you both?" Spike asked of his visitors.

"Yeah Dad's due any minute." Buffy replied for her sister that had began to sulk at the thought of having to leave, "You know he's due Dawn, so come on, we'd better head home."

"Say 'bye bye Spike' Dawn", Buffy glared at her sister, "and 'bye bye Imogen'."

"Okay, okay", Dawn looked between the two, "Bye Spike, thanks for letting my play with Imogen"

"Bye Imogen", Dawn smoothed down the baby's hair as a farewell.

With great reluctance Dawn got off the floor and moved in the direction of her sister, and out of the house. Both made their way across the lawn, back to the Summer's house, Dawn striding a little quicker than her sister, as if to avoid her.

"Hey Dawnie, wait up!" Buffy called to her sibling in an attempt to slow her down, she could feel the tension coming off her sister like waves, Dawn slowed down a little but did she didn't stop. Buffy quickened her pace to catch up with her sister, she put her hand on her to halt any further progression.

"What now!!" Dawn stopped in her tracks and turned to her sister, her face saying it all. She was rightly pissed off with her.

"What's your problem Dawn, we both know its Dads night to come and visit us", Buffy looked at her sister with distain, and she was becoming more difficult to talk with than ever.

"Come one Buffy, we both know that he isn't going to come, he never does. And...and.."

"And what?"

"Spike", Dawn looked away from her sister, she refused to look her in the eyes, as she crossed her arms in a defensive manner.

"And what about Spike?", Buffy inquired.

"He's making Cow Eyes at you again"

"Ewwwwwww, no he was not!" Buffy looked at her sister like she had two heads.

"Yes he was and so were you!!"

"We were not, we.........", Buffy's voice died before she could finish her speech, because she knew it was true, as much as she wanted to deny it, it was true.

"He looks at you and you turn away, you never look back at him. Then when you think he's not looking, you turn all lovey dovey on him. I've seen you!!!!" Dawn accused her sister, with bulging eyes and a terse voice.

"No Dawn I don't, really I don't", Buffy's lie fell from her lips and onto deaf ears; Dawn wasn't going to believe it for one minute.

"Come on Buffy we both know the truth.", Dawn looked into her sisters eyes at last with a smile on his lips, "His a hottie, what girl with warm blood wouldn't feel attracted to him, you'd have to have no pulse not too."

Dawnie's quick change in attitude gave Buffy ideas to why her sister was giving her the cold shoulder. '~OMG she's got a crush on him~' Buffy thought to herself, it was obvious now, how could she be so blind, '~not only did she have a crush she was jealous of me~'.

"You've got a crush on him", Buffy couldn't help but have a little giggle, making Dawn start her quick march back home, "Dawn I'm only kidding, come on!!"

Dawn ignored her sister, her face a crimson shade of red. Buffy knew that she had some major making up to do. Some real serious making up to do. At least they now had something in common with each other, even if it was crazy, illogical and just down right strange.

Buffy entered their home just slightly behind Dawn, and began making her way up the stair, when her mother stopped her. She heard a door slam upstairs, she could only guess was her sisters.

"Buffy, I think your sisters going to need a shoulder to cry on again!"

"Let me guess Dad?"

"Yes Sweetie, he cancelled again about 10 minutes ago, business he said", Joyce tried to as always soften the blow with a white lie or another. Buffy knew deep down that it wasn't business, probably some young girl her age or near enough that had his attention. She looked at her mom, just nodded her head and made her way further up the stairs to make her way into Dawn's room.

"Dawn ?" Buffy stood outside her sisters room knocking gently on the door, and opening it slowly peering in. Dawn was slumped on her bed the tears whelming in her eyes.

"Why do we even bother with him anymore Buffy?"

Buffy made her way over to her sister, enveloping her in a big hug, giving her some comfort, "I don't know Dawn, he's our Dad no matter what, and we can only hope that one day he'll be our Dad again.", but deep down Buffy knew that their father was losing interest with his daughters, and that hurt her deep down as well. But she had to hope for her sister that this wasn't true, that maybe their father would realise just what damage he was doing to them before it became a permeant scar. And the girls wouldn't want to do anything with him either.

"Hey why don't I call Willow and the gang, see if they wanna go to the movies, and we'll have a real pizza night with them, and if you behave maybe go to the Bronze after?"

Buffy hoped that this would appease Dawn's ambivalence towards their father, and give her something to do instead of sitting in her room upset. It would also give her an excuse not to stay at home and mope around with her. Dawn raised her head and looked at her sister; she simply nodded her head in agreement, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill.

Buffy left her then, to make the arrangements with their friends to meet later and hope that their mother would agree to allow them to go out together. Luckily enough Joyce was in agreement with her daughter to take Dawnie out as a 'treat', and not that this would be habit forming each week because their father was getting 'slack'.

Luckily Willow, Xander, Cordy and Tara had yet to finalise their plans and where happy to meet with the Summer girls as Buffy planned. She thanked her lucky stars that she had friends that accepted her little sister as part of the crew. Not many people their age would want to be caught dead socialising with a high school kid, so Buffy thanked her lucky stars that she knew such fine people, and was glad to call them her friends.

She went back upstairs told her sister to get ready, that they would meet the gang in half an hour. This was a night both of them needed to get out of the house. Buffy could help but wonder that she had two good reasons to want to get out for a while, one being her father, and the other the hurdy gurdy feelings she was having about Spike. She needed a night out away from everything, a night just to get away, she needed some time not just to think about it, she needed...she just didn't know what she needed.

She went to her own room to get ready for their night on the town and it hit her what she needed and why she was going out.

To escape.

Chapter 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~The Past Always Comes Back to Haunt Us~~

A few days later Spike sat in his kitchen feeding Imogen her lunch, something that resembled strained peas and carrots that looked rather lumpy, stringy and smelt absolutely ghastly. She sat in her highchair looking rather indianite at any suggestion that she eat what was put in front of her, even as her father attempted the old favourite...

"Look Imogen here comes the train....choo... choo!!!", Spike pushed the spoon towards his daughter, her little hand sprung out pushing it away from her face, resulting in the concoction ending up all over her father, running down his face, and splattering onto his clothes.

Spike in defeat put the baby spoon down, moved to the sink to clean the goo off his face, and attempted to clean it off his clothes before it stained. Behind him he heard a crash, turning quickly he watched on in horror as Imogen pushed the bowl that held her lunch onto the floor. Forming her own masterpiece upon the tiles, a look of horror on her fathers' face, and a little smile (some would say a smirk) with a gurgle of joy from the baby girl, upon creating such a mess.

"Oh bugger!!!!"

Imogen 1

Spike 0

Spike thought as he shook his head at the chaos that lay on the floor, the little monster of his daughter, and trying at the same time to remember where he had left the mop. He looked at the state of his blue suite and wondered 'what on earth he was going to do now'; he had an interview in half an hour and tried to contemplate how he was going to get there in time. Just what he needed today, to be late for a job he desperately wanted and needed.

Imogen continued to create havoc with her appearance as she played with the food that had been caught in the tray of her high chair, looking rather pleased with herself, escaping a meal she clearly didn't want. She gurgled and banged her hands on the tray before her, looking at her father in bemusement with an 'ain't I cute' look.

Voices from outside caught his attention away from his daughter and the entertaining time she was having with her food. He caught a glimpse of the Summers' family leaving the house from the back door, heading for the Jeep parked in the backyard, quickly making a split decision, he ran for the back door and onto his patio.

"Joyce, Buffy, Dawn!!!" he yelled towards the family, "Wait please!!!"

All three heads whipped around to the intrusion that startled them all, Joyce being the first to respond, thinking the worst she dropped her briefcase and dashed over towards the younger man.

"Spike, what's wrong?? Is it the baby?? Has she hurt herself??" Joyce shouted as she pushed Spike aside, scuttled into the kitchen, looking at the sight before her, she broke into a fit of laughter, reducing her to tears.

Buffy and Dawn had followed in pursuit of their mother, pursuing her into the kitchen, catching the vision of Imogen covered in a greeny goo all over her face, hair, clothes and not to mention anything else that lay in the vicinity. The grins that came to both of their faces, broke into larger smiles as they both attempted not to brake out into the laughter that possessed their mother. But it was contagious, soon all the women joined each other in deep howls of laughter, as the accompanying tears began to stream as they laughed so hard. All three sets of eyes moving from Imogen to Spike and the mess both of them were in, it was a sight to behold.

"So the emergency is the massacred green goo on the floor hey, or the fashion statement that your making now!!!", Buffy just couldn't help herself with the barb.

"Ummmm Spike love the look, very Nuevo Reich, very now", Dawn added to her sister's little comment on his state of dress.

"Yes Spike that green goes very well with the blue suite, rather striking I'd say", Joyce joined in on the fun her girls where having at his expense.

"Okay people, you've had your fun!!" Spike look at the women in horror as they laughed at his predicament, "Please enough already!!"

"So Spike what can we do for you that seem so urgent???" Joyce asked the young man before her in between laughs, "Maybe call 911 for the Fashion Police"

"Ha ha, very funny!! But can we please get serious here?", Spike pleaded with all of them for some sanity to return to the room.

"Ok, ok, Spike what's the problem?" Buffy had settled down somewhat enough to ask the question.

"Look, I have a job interview in half an hour and I obviously cannot go like this!!" Spike pointed towards himself and the goo that clung to his suite.

"But I think you look rather handsome like that, goo and all!!", Buffy just couldn't help herself.

"Well Miss Summers you may find it attractive but I doubt my maybe employers will!!", Spike was beginning to get very annoyed at the trio, he was losing his sense of humour very quickly.

"And your problem is...???", Buffy responded to his somewhat now hostile attitude towards the Summer women.

"Well could one of you please look after Imogen while I change my suite and try to clean up this mess", Spike pleaded with the women, gesturing with his hands towards Imogen and himself.

"What, no way mister!!!" Buffy looked at him with a look of horror on her face towards one very messy infant. The thought of how one of them was even going to pick up the baby without getting the green goo on them boggled her mind. She and Dawn began to simultaneously began to back away from the chaos, and move towards the back door to avoid the duty being asked of them. Spike turned his attention to Joyce as he watched the girls move backwards, the obvious pleading with her maternal instincts to help, was written all over his face.

"Buffy", Joyce uttered the single word that halted her eldest desperate exit from the kitchen.

Buffy froze on the spot, she turned looking at her mother, with a large pout spoiling her face, "But Mom !!!!"

"No buts young lady I think that this is a job just for you!!"

Joyce turned to her daughter, her back to Spike with a pleading look on her own face, "Sweetie I don't have time for this, and Dawnie's going to be late for class. You don't start class for another 2 hours surely that is enough time young lady, and it's the neighbourly thing to do."

"But, but!!!", Buffy began to plead with her mother, but to no avail as both Dawn and Joyce left the kitchen by the back door. Closing off any means of escape from this little chore assigned to her, slamming the door in their wake.

Buffy returned her attention to the man before her, "I'm hope your happy now!!!", Buffy made her way towards Imogen and the mess that occupied most of her little body and features, with a look of '~ewwwwwwwwww~' on her face. This was a job she most definitely didn't want to do.

"Don't be like that Sweet Heart, I appreciate your help and I'll be forever in your debt!", Spike cockily replied, he softly began to chuckle at her predicament, " Thanks Buff !! I really mean it, I owe you big time! I'll help in your next apocalypse, I promise!!"

With that he left the kitchen and Imogen in her good hands, hoping that maybe while she was at it, she might clean up the mess, and the chaos demon that had created it. Making his way into the master bedroom he removed his suit surveying the damage. It was a complete write off for the interview, even his shirt was ruined, and not to mention his tie. He looked at his tie with sad feelings it had been the one that his wife had given him on his first day of his last job, it was meant to bring him luck. He wondered if it was salvageable from the green goo, it was a vestige of his past, even if it was just a silly tie. Remembering the past only brought on thoughts of the present, and in particular the young woman that was beneath him downstairs tending to his daughter.

Buffy.

He was so confused in his attraction to her, it had slammed itself into him the moment she walked into the kitchen this morning, leaving him dazed and bewildered. He knew that it was foolish and down right insane for him to have these feelings, whatever they where, he shouldn't be having them. For gods sake she was a collage girl, what would someone her age want with him an old man by her standards, and she probably had a boyfriend anyway, someone her own age. He thought to himself as he moved to the wardrobe and removed a new suite to replace the one he had on.

As he lay his new suit on his bed, his eyes caught the photo of his wife that lay on the sideboard, surrounded in a crystal frame, it was a wedding day picture of them both. He moved towards it as drawn by her presence to it, he traced her face with his finger, a single tear slide down his face. He wiped it away with his hand, brushing his finger slightly against his mouth too tasted his own tears, a wave of overwhelming desolation swept over him and engulfed him in a single heart beat.

Spike slide to the floor as the sobs over took his whole body, with his back to his bed he placed his hands over his face as to block out the reality that engulfed him in the empty bedroom. The tears began to flow from his eyes like a salty river threatening to drown him, he began shaking with the weight of his grief in his soul. He began to rock with the burden of guilt that enveloped him over his feelings of want and desire he felt towards Buffy. It just compounded the feelings of loss he felt for his wife, as it hung around his neck like a vice ready to strangle him. His mind whirled around with thoughts of grief over the woman he loved, and the guilt of feeling something over a woman he didn't even know, the contradiction was just too much for him.....he surrendered to the abyss. The darkness was too enticing to ignore, if it meant release from the pain he felt, than he would embrace it. He let go and wept until he could no more..........

Down stairs Buffy had managed to clean Imogen up from the mess she made as best she could, she gazed at the baby and decided that she need a proper clean upstairs in the bathroom, a change of clothes, and by the smell of things a new nappy. She picked up Imogen, and made her way upstairs hunting down the bathroom in which she sponged the baby, cleaning her face, hands and hair. The baby's room was obvious with its yellow walls and animal print borders, and the lettering spelling out "Imogen's Room', was a dead give away.

Buffy laid Imogen on her change table removing the offending nappy, and its contents into the nappy bin she found in the nursery. She had some trouble deciding what to do next, as she scanned the various pots of cream on the change table, not sure which one to put on the baby. Deciding that the one with the cute giraffe one with the happy baby smiling from its label would do, she applied the cream, and finished the task with a new nappy. But found that she was having some trouble on which way was the front, and what the back was.

"Your Daddy owes me big time little lady!!" Buffy chuckled as she completed the nappy change, she was quite pleased with her results considering this was her first foray into changing a baby.

"Okay, what's next?? A new outfit for Miss Future Junior Prom Queen, I think.", Buffy began looking in the draws near the cot, looking for an outfit for Imogen, with the baby slung on her hip. As she pondered her selection she froze...

She heard a quiet 'thunk' of something hitting the floor in a nearby bedroom, and followed quietly with haunting sobs, that filled her heart with despair. She knew that they could be only coming from one person.

William

Buffy quickly and as quietly as possible finished dressing the baby, she placed Imogen in her cot with as many toys as she could hastily find. Standing in front of the cot she was in too minds, '~do I go to him or just mind my own business~', her mind was made up for her as the sobs became louder and more distressed.

She went to him.

Moving along the main corridor as quietly as she could she stood outside the master bedroom door, placing her hand upon it she could feel the pain and anguish of the person inside resinate from within. With great hesitancy she opened the door to find Spike slumped over himself, with his hands in his face crying his heart out, rocking forwards and backwards with what she suspected was grief. Buffy slowly stepped into the room making her way towards him, as she got closer she spotted the crystal frame and the picture within laying on the bed.

It was a picture of a Spike in a morning suit, with a beautiful brunette in a bridal gown; it screamed 'Our Wedding Day' to Buffy.

"William", Buffy whispered to Spike so softly you almost couldn't hear it.

Spike didn't respond, he just continued with his sobbing, he was so locked in whatever was happening to him he didn't hear her. Buffy was so overwhelmed with sadness to see him like this, it rocked her very soul, and whatever was causing this was just tearing him apart. She stood there for a few seconds unsure what to do, finally she moved closer to him, sat down in front of him, and just grabbed onto him, encircling him in her embrace, giving him an anchor. She began moving with him, backwards and forwards, smoothing his hair, repeating over and over 'it will be ok, you'll see".

As Buffy continued to comfort Spike it finally hit her, why she or no one else had seen his wife, she suspected that she must be dead. With that single thought Buffy shuddered at the thought of the pain that Spike must be feeling. The loneliness, desolation and the difficulties it must be to bring up their child without her.

"Spike please talk to me!", Buffy pleaded with him in a soothing voice, trying to break whatever had hold on him, "Please William!!"

Slowly the rocking stopped, the sobbing slowed, but the tears continued to flow slowly and quietly down his cheeks. He still had his hands over his eyes and face, as not wanting to look into the eyes of the person who had witness this showing of despair, and deep sorrow. Buffy leaned back slightly, letting her embrace loosen a little bit so she could look at Spike, up close she could only guess his emotions at this stage, her heart was breaking for him, she wanted to alleviate some of the burden he carried, but she didn't know how. She decided to make a tough call; she hoped that it would open him up to her, maybe, even if only a little bit.

"What happened to her Spike?", Buffy asked Spike as gently and softly as she could, she continued to smooth his hair in a sign of reassurance, and comfort. Finally he lifted his head from his hands, his eyes all puffy from the pouring of his tears, and his face devoid of any emotion, yet the remains of tears where still present on his cheeks. Buffy couldn't help herself as she wiped them away, her hand brushing them into oblivion.

"She's dead", Spike finally spoke with a gravely voice full of roughness, as is passing over sandpaper as it left his throat, "She died in a car accident over six months ago, and I couldn't save her, I couldn't get to her, I couldn't save her, I....."

He became speechless, lost in his own thoughts of guilt and loss. Spike look directly at Buffy searching her face with his eyes, looking at her so profoundly as if trying to find something there, maybe revulsion, pity, fear or even forgiveness.

"We were hit by a drunk, I couldn't swerve..I didn't see him coming....I couldn't get to her...I was trapped in the car.....I couldn't reach her.....I couldn't save her....The baby....The baby came at the accident scene...", Spike began to stumble with his words, his breathing becoming laboured with each breathe and word he spoke, "The blood, so much blood, blood every....ssshhhheee bleed to death....they couldn't stop the bleeding...I couldn't save her...."

'Oh Spike I'm so sorry", Buffy gently spoke to him, pulling him into an embrace to give him the strength that he needed, and that she could offer him. He pulled his arms around her back grateful for the human warmth that she offered to him, he pulled as closely as he could, wanting as if to feel her gift to him.

"I dream of her every night", Spike whispered into Buffy's ear.

"But every night I save her"

Spike couldn't believe these overwhelming feelings he had for the young woman, he was elated that he was feeling something at all, and even if it was lust, it was something. But he had to be careful with these new feelings, she was just a collage girl, and he was a man with responsibilities, who was he to act on his feelings for her. He felt so lost then, he realised that he had felt something again, and he knew that he couldn't do anything about them. In his mind, he crawled back to the dark place in his subconscious, and stayed there, the light that seemed to burn so bright in his eyes, faded into nothingness as he continued to stare at Buffy.

He couldn't believe his own contradictions, one minute sobbing with grief over his wife, and then lusting after the one before him. He couldn't but think to himself, 'I must be insane, what in hells name am I thinking', he felt even more ashamed and grieved by this admission. He abruptly removed her arms from around her and moved into the en-suite shutting the door behind him......effectively shutting her out.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N~~ I really hope that you liked these chapters, please review and let me know!! It feeds the machine, that is my mind!!!

 

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