Chapter 7

~ * ~

Buffy had no luck whatsoever in persuading Willow to have a makeover. In fact, by the end of the week, Willow had gotten herself so worked up about the whole thing that she turned up at Buffy’s house wearing her oldest jeans and baggiest sweatshirt.

“You said casual, right?” She avoided Buffy’s disappointed look. “And these are comfy, and when I’m comfy, I’m more relaxed. Look, Steel Magnolias.” She held up the video she’d borrowed for the night.

“You look adorable Will.” Buffy didn’t sound very convinced.

Willow pulled her sweatshirt down, stretching it even more. “Don’ t be mad Buffy. I know you’re only trying to help but, well, I just want to be Willow.”

“Oh dear,” Buffy looked contrite, “there I go again, always trying to organise everyone’s life. Just be you, Willow. You’re fine just as you are. Maybe If I stopped trying so hard I’d have more luck in, well you know.”

Willow looked at her video, “Maybe this wasn’t the best choice for tonight. What have you got?”

“Ghost.” They both burst out laughing. “And lots of tissues.” Buffy looked down at her outfit. “There’s the doorbell. Let him in Will, I think I might just go upstairs and change.” She raced up the stairs, pulling at her blouse buttons as she went. “Drinks are in the kitchen.”

Willow stared at the door. Let Xander in. How did she do that? Turn the door handle, and open the door, but first stop shaking. The bell rang again. Okay, one, two three. She opened the door and there he was. And he looked amazing.

He was wearing a pair of neatly pressed Chinos, a shirt and a tie. He was actually wearing a tie, and what had he done to his hair? Looked like it had gel in it. Willow stared at the package that was Xander and he stared back and then they both looked down at themselves and said, “Oh!”

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy slipped out of her skirt and reached for her sweatpants. She could do dressing-down. She could. Never mind that they were designer sweatpants. Willow was right. This was a fun evening around the television with friends, not a reception with the queen of England. She had to learn to let go a little. To stop trying so hard all the time. She opened a drawer and took out a big white t-shirt, which she would usually wear for working out. Tonight she would be comfy, after all, who was she trying to impress? If Spike turned up, he’d be with Drusilla anyway. He wouldn’t be looking at her. She looked doubtfully at herself in the mirror and fluffed up her hair. This was a new look for her yet again, she thought. Usually she would rather die than appear in front of anyone without spending at least an hour in the bathroom, and then trying on every single outfit in her closet. She took a tissue and started to scrub at her lipstick but then she stopped and grabbed the lipstick and re-applied it. Not ready to go that far.

When she got downstairs, Xander and Willow were sitting on opposite sides of the room, both staring fixedly at their feet. Xander had a beer bottle in his hand and goodness, what was he wearing? He looked good, though, even if he was a little overdressed. She waved cheerfully at him. “Hi Xander, glad you could come. I see you’ ve met Willow.” She put a big emphasis on the word Willow.

He jumped at the sound of her voice and she noticed the look of dismay on his face when he realised how she was dressed. “Who? Oh. Yes.” He took a big gulp of his beer.

Buffy sat herself down next to Willow. “So, what did you bring?”

“What?” Xander pulled at his tie.

“DVD.” Buffy pointed to the box beside him on the couch. “What’ve you got for us?”

“Night -of-the-Living-Dead.”

“Oh, my favourite,” Willow piped up, then looked down at her feet again. “Well, one of...”

“Really?” Xander managed something approaching a smile. “Mine too, you like horror then?”

“Love it. I like to get really scared, then go to bed and hide under the blankets.”

“Yeah? When I was a kid I’d pretend I was in a tent...”

“And you’d have a flashlight?”

“And I’d shine it on my face...”

They both lapsed into silence again, but Buffy hadn’t failed to notice the buzz of excitement that had passed between them. Willow a horror freak, who’d have guessed it? Well, that was a good start.

The doorbell rang and they all jumped together. Boy, things were tense tonight. Buffy shot out of the chair. “That’ll be Spike and Dru Willow, why don’t you check out Xander’s DVD or something?” She motioned towards Xander as the doorbell rang again. “I’ll go let them in.”

Buffy stopped for a moment in the hallway and gathered her wits.. Why was she so nervous at the thought of meeting Dru? Would Drusilla be beautiful? Of course she would. But so what, why should that bother her? She knew very well why. She pasted a smile on her face as she reached for the door. How on earth was she going to handle seeing Spike in the arms of another woman?

~*~*~*~*~

Spike pulled the video out of his pocket. Bloody Drusilla. They’ d been here once already. She’d been up for it right until the last moment, and then had decided that she wanted to go to the pub instead. He’d tried his best to persuade her, but then she’d accused him of not wanting her any more, or some such nonsense and jumped out of the car. He’d tried to follow her, but she’d just laughed at him, and he’d lost it. Told her to go. And she’d gone. So now he stood on Buffy’s doorstep, holding a copy of Dracula has Risen from the Grave and feeling utterly miserable. Frustration at his inability to make Dru love him the way she used to, guilt at the way he was looking forward to seeing Buffy again, anger at himself for being love’s bitch - he was feeling it all at the moment. And sorry for himself. It wasn’t often he indulged that one, but tonight he felt like a little boy who’d just been told that Christmas had been cancelled. He knew he was getting near to the end with Drusilla, but he couldn’t cut himself free from her right now without seeming like the world’s worst, biggest...

The door opened and there was Buffy, smiling at him. Her expression changed to one of mild concern as she seemed to pick up on the emotions written in his face.

“No Dru?”

He shook his head. “Brought a video.”

“Good.” Her face still held a questioning look. “Come in Spike.”

He stepped inside, avoiding her gaze as he shrugged out of his coat. “Hope you like horror.”

She picked up the video, “Dracula? Nice one. You okay Spike?”

He threw his coat into the closet. “Yep, right as rain. I see Xan’s here, how are he and Red getting on?”

“I’m working on it. Beer?”

“Sounds good. Shall I?” He pointed to the kitchen.

“No, you go through, I’ll get it.”

He watched her disappear into the kitchen. Cute get-up. Sexy, and dangerous. He shouldn’t have come. He was feeling vulnerable and needy, and Buffy was the last person he trusted himself to be around. It wasn’t fair to any of them, not him, not Dru and definitely not Buffy. This had major hurt, all round, written all over it.

He took the beer she’d fetched for him and followed her into the television room. Why was life so bloody complicated?

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy was pleased to see that Willow and Xander were at least on the same couch now, even if they were both still staring at their shoes, but she was worried about Spike. He’d looked terrible, almost close to tears when she’d opened the door. No sign of Drusilla. It was obvious that something had happened but he didn’t look as if he wanted to talk about it, hadn’t offered any explanations. Xander had mouthed something at him when he’d seen Spike was alone, but Spike had just shaken his head. Still, she was glad he’d made it, and she was secretly relieved that she didn’t have to meet Dru just yet.

“Okay, horror or weepie?”

“Horror.” The three of them spoke in unison. Willow picked up Night of the Living Dead. “This one?”

Xander flashed her a look of approval, and Spike shrugged his shoulders, “Sounds good to me.”

“Okay then.” Buffy popped the disc in the player, then padded back to the couch and sat next to Spike, tucking her feet up underneath her. He leaned back, but didn’t look very relaxed at all. Waves of tension rolled off him and her heart went out to him. The butterfly bandages were gone, leaving him with an angry looking red slash over his eye. She wondered if Dru had taken them off for him. She hoped he was remembering to put antiseptic cream on it. He didn’t want to catch an infection, did he? What he needed was a good shoulder massage, to loosen the kinks and get those knots out. With some wonderfully exotic massage oil. She indulged in her fantasy for a few more moments until she realised that since the film had started she hadn’t seen any of it. How on earth was she going to concentrate with him stretched out so invitingly beside her?

~*~*~*~*~

Willow hadn’t been exactly telling the truth when she’d declared her love of horror movies. It had seemed like a good way to engage Xander in conversation, but now she was beginning to feel seriously freaked. She was never going to sleep tonight, she thought, jumping violently as something surprising happened on the screen.

Xander chuckled and leaned close. “You’ll love this bit.”

“Will I? Yikes,” she jumped again. “Umm, sorry about that.” She gave everyone an apologetic look. “Wasn’t expecting that. O-mi-god, what’s he doing?”

~*~*~*~*~

It turned out that nobody but Xander actually watched much of the film at all. Buffy spent the whole time giving Spike a mental back rub, imagining the feel of his muscles moving under her oil-slickened hands, happily lost in her little fantasy. Spike meanwhile, spent the entire film re-living the bust-up he’d had with Dru, wondering what there was left to say to her, and trying not to notice the heady perfume Buffy was wearing. Willow ended up with a cushion over her face, peeking out occasionally but mostly secretly watching Xander. She wanted to take his tie off. Slowly, like she’d seen a woman do in a film once, but the thought of actually doing it both horrified and excited her at the same time. She’d have to sit on his lap, astride him, so she could look him in the eye. Perhaps she could pull it off with her teeth. Erk, where did that come from? She’d never have the courage to do that, would she?

~*~*~*~*~

As the credits rolled, Buffy jumped up and grabbed Spike’s hand. “Come on Spike, why don’t you help me fix us something to eat?”

He was a little slow on the uptake, I’m not really hungry, oh!” He finally seemed to realise why she was rolling her eyes towards Willow and Xander in such a strange fashion, and allowed himself to be pulled up. “Right, I’m starving.”

Willow was halfway to her feet as well. “I can help you Buffy.”

“Got all the help I need.” Buffy frantically motioned her to sit back down. “We might be a while, but I’m sure Xander will look after you, won’t you?” She nodded at Xander who was having a lazy stretch. The film and several beers seemed to have put him in a very good mood, but he still wasn’t really getting it. He flashed Willow a friendly grin and then picked up Spike’s video, which was on the end table, and proceeded to read the back cover.

Buffy pulled Spike out of the room, frustrated beyond belief. “What the hell’s it gonna take to get those two together?” She noticed Spike was smiling for the first time that evening.

“Bossy thing, aren’t you?” He looked down at her hand, which was still entwined in his, and let it go. “You can’t just throw them together and expect them to, well you know.”

“But they like each other, I know it.” She took another discrete peek round the door. Still no progress. “Willow likes Xander anyway.”

“And I’m pretty sure Xander could go for Willow.” He leaned back against the wall and folded his arms. “Of course he’s only just got over you.”

He was looking at her through half closed eyes and she couldn’t really tell what he was thinking. “That’s not fair, Spike. I never did anything to lead him on.”

“You didn’t see you in that club.”

She looked down and inspected her fingernails. “That wasn’t the real me.”

“Is this the real you then?” He nodded towards her outfit.

“No, this is actually workout Buffy.”

“What, like Workout Barbie?” That earned him a shove. “Ow.”

“Never mind me. What are we going to do about those two in there?”

“Oh for heaven’s sake.” Spike opened the door. “Xan, need a word with you.”

Xander looked up, perplexed, then got up and came to the door.

Spike pulled him out of the room and closed the door. “Okay, listen up. The nice lady in there. Major hots for you. You’re in man.” He spun the very surprised-looking Xander around. “We won’t be disturbing you any time soon, will we Buffy?”

“No, She really likes you Xander. She’s just a bit shy that’s all.”

With that, Spike opened the door, and shoved Xander back into the room.

He turned to Buffy. “Okay, that’s sorted. Now, we just need to amuse ourselves for the next hour or so.” Got any suggestions?

Buffy caught the hint of a smirk on his lips. Was he flirting with her, because she could play this game too? “I play a mean game of snap. “

He laughed out loud at that one. “Don’t think I could stand the suspense right now, love. You’d beat me hands down.”

“Yeah,” Buffy beckoned him to follow her into the kitchen, “I noticed you were a bit tense. Coffee?.”

“Love one, and yeah, that’s a bit of an understatement at the moment.” Spike pulled out a chair and turned it round, sitting astride it. “Got a few problems.”

Buffy busied herself with the coffee making, not wanting to distract him now he was opening up. “Oh yeah, with the PhD and all?”

“No, that’s going okay, more personal.”

“What, family, that sort of stuff,” Buffy spooned the coffee into the filter, “because my dad drives me mad sometimes. Don’t get me wrong I love him to bits, but you know?”

“Yeah, know exactly, but this, it’s out of my control. Can we talk about something else?” Spike folded his arms across the back of the chair. How are you finding England?

“Cold.” She flipped the switch on the coffee maker, and sat herself down at the kitchen table. “You know, after California. But it’ s really quaint, the bit’s I’ve seen anyway.”

He leaned his chin on his hands. “Try and see some of the real stuff while you’re here, it’s not all about Shakespeare and singing shortbread tins y’know.”

“And Americans aren’t all about big cars and guns.”

He grinned back at her, “nice one, you got some brains inside that blondie head of yours.”

“Why you,” Buffy knew he was only joking, but she wasn’t about to let it go. She picked up a wet dishtowel and threw it at him, “have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Spike intercepted the dishtowel and bunched it in his hand. “That’ s no way to treat a guest, Summers.” He jumped up and came towards her, brandishing it.

Buffy felt a moment of pure panic before she shot out of her chair and made for the kitchen door. He got there first and blocked it, waving the dishtowel menacingly at her. “Now what shall I do with this?”

Boy, he could do ‘evil grin’ when he wanted to. She shrieked and looked around, but there was nowhere else to run so she charged at him, hoping to duck under his arm, but he was too fast for her. His arm snaked out and caught her, pulling her tight against him and he proceeded to stuff the wet dish towel down the back of her tee shirt. Her frantic struggles and squeals only made him pull her in tighter.

“Nobody attacks William Giles and gets away with it, ouch,” he recoiled as Buffy pushed him into the wall.

She stuck her tongue out at him, and shot out of the kitchen, pulling at the dishtowel as she went. Which way? Mustn’t disturb Willow and Xander. He was after her. The lounge, she ran inside and tried to push the door closed, but he already had his arm round it. She didn’t want to hurt him, so she let go and ran behind the couch, holding up the dishtowel. “I’m not - afraid - to - use - this Spike,” she was hysterical now, her breath coming in short pants and she almost couldn’t get the sentence out.

He cocked his head at her as he stalked slowly towards her. “Oh, I’m really, really scared.”

Buffy’s heart went into overdrive. Nowhere to run. She threw the weapon, gave another very girly shriek, and ran to one end of the couch.

He fended off the dishtowel and kept coming. “Gonna get you Summers,” he taunted, “you can’t escape.”

“No, Spike,” Buffy made another attempt for the door, but he threw himself at her, bringing them both down and knocking the breath out of her as he landed on top of her.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike hadn’t intended to squash her. She ended up beneath him sucking in mouthfuls of air, her hair tangled all over her face, his full weight on her. He rolled over onto his back, taking her with him, so that she was on top, and held on to her as they both struggled to regain some composure. “They were both still on the verge of hysterical laughter, which was pretty difficult when there was no breath to laugh with, and they lay there, chests heaving, doing nothing but try to breath and not laugh for a few moments. Eventually he found enough breath to speak. “Are you okay Buffy?”

She muttered something against his chest and lifted her head, “William Giles?”

He smoothed the hair away from her face. “That’s me, you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” her face was still flushed from her exertions, her eyes luminous. “You?”

Was he okay? He had a beautiful, sexy, woman lying on top of him, her soft curves moulding themselves to his body, her scent all around him. And not just any beautiful woman. This was Buffy, who he’ d been having secret fantasies about ever since the night she’d fixed his head for him. The forbidden fruit he wasn’t supposed to have, but wanted desperately.

He knew he could let her go any time now, there was no reason to keep holding on to her, stroking her hair, other than he was thoroughly enjoying it, and didn’t want to stop. Her t-shirt was bunched in his hand as it rested against her back, his other hand was sliding behind her head, threading itself into the hair at the back of her neck. She couldn’t fail to feel the reaction he was having to her nearness.

As he shifted beneath her, her eyes widened in realisation, and she went very still. “William?” Her voice was like a soft caress, asking him an age- old question.

He pushed his hand further into her hair, and slowly brought her face down to his. “Yes?” He whispered it against her mouth, as he brushed his lips to hers, and surrendered himself to the inevitable.

Chapter 8

~*~

Buffy felt herself melting into him. The rest of the world faded into soft focus as she settled into the rhythm of the kiss. Nothing else mattered but the feel of his lips slowly sliding against hers, one hand caressing the bare skin of her back, the other urging her closer to him. He was warm, and hard as she settled against him, and kissed him back. It was the kind of kiss that could have gone on forever, sensual and lingering. A slow, burning kiss that spoke not only of lust but something else. ,This feels so right was about the only coherent thought that Buffy was capable of, as his mouth worked its magic against hers. She tried to deepen it, but he seemed in no hurry to go any faster. His hand made its way to her bottom and he pulled her in against him, bending his knee to accommodate her, as she arched instinctively against him.

He groaned and the sound made her skin tingle. She was on fire for him, her whole body flooded with desire. For him. She'd thought about this, wondered how it would feel, and it was better than anything she could ever have imagined. She'd never been kissed like this before. It was maddening, frustrating and incredibly erotic all at the same time. But she could feel he was holding back, and she needed more.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike didn't dare deepen the kiss. He could feel Buffy's frustration as she moved restlessly against him, her tongue sliding along his lips, her fingers pulling at his hair, but this wasn't the time, or the place, for the things he wanted to do to her. For her. He hadn't forgotten that Xander and Willow were in the other room, but he was still sliding his hand down Buffy's back, pulling her down to him, their legs tangling together. He heard himself groan as she pushed herself against him. Gotta calm down. He slid both hands down to her bottom and held her still.

She broke the kiss and lifted her head, drawing in a shaky breath. "What is it Spike?" Concern clouded her features. "Don't you want to...?"

He silenced her with another kiss, harder and more demanding this time and she responded in kind, then he broke abruptly away. "Did that feel like I don't want to do this?"

She sat back so that she was kneeling astride him and touched her fingers to her mouth. "So why did you? It's Drusilla, isn't it?" She looked away. "I understand."

She made to get up, but Spike caught her wrist and pulled her back. "Look at me Buffy. Huh?" She wasn't going to, so he said it anyway. "Yes, it's Drusilla, but it's complicated. I want you Buffy, I want you so much, you can't imagine."

She lifted her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Me too." She leaned her forehead against his chest, and picked at one of the buttons on his shirt, "But we can't, can we? This is wrong, isn't it?"

He twisted a strand of golden hair, and watched as it ran through his fingers. "I don't know, Buffy. I don't seem to know right from wrong any more. I only know that I'm thinking about you all the time, even when I'm with Dru. Thinking about all the things I want us to do together. Mostly involving stockings." She gave a small laugh at that, and he felt her arm slip around his back and give him a small squeeze. "She's on drugs you know, and I just don't want to deal with it any more. Big shit that I am."

Spike rested his cheek on Buffy's head. "She's just not the same girl I remember. It's all but finished Buffy, this isn't your fault. I couldn't have stopped this if I tried. And someone's got to prevent you from killing yourself in that car of yours."

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy pressed herself against his chest, listening to the slow thump of his heart, and blinked back the tears. In the heat of the kiss she'd forgotten all about Drusilla. She had no business kissing someone else's boyfriend, no matter how troubled the relationship. But a selfish part of her wanted Spike. If what he said about her was true, then it was okay wasn't it? Only it wasn't.

"What are we going to do Spike?" She still couldn't look at him, because if she did, she would want to kiss him again. Her lips were still tingling with the memory of that last meeting, and aching for more just like it.

"Don't rightly know. I'll have to talk to her, I guess," He was still fiddling with her hair, "don't know how she'll take it, she's a bit fragile right now."

"Do you still love her?"

"Don't know that either. We don't make each other happy any more and god- knows," his voice broke as he spoke, "I deserve some happiness in my life."

He sounded angry, and he squeezed her so hard that she almost couldn't breath. She wriggled free and brought a hand to his cheek, feeling guilty that she'd abandoned herself so freely to the kiss. It wasn't as easy for him as it was for her. She should have realised. "It's okay Spike." Heck, now he was going to cry too. "I'm here Spike, listen to me." He opened his mouth to say something ,but she silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Shh. Let me speak. I want you too, Spike, but I know this is hard for you. I just want you to know that I'll be here for you. Whatever you want Spike," she traced the outline of his lips with her fingers as she spoke. "It's your call." She could still hear the little voice inside her head, cautioning her, but she pushed it aside. She wanted him too much to think beyond the consequences of what they were doing tonight, and now that she had him here in her arms, she just wasn't prepared to give him up that easily.

He was watching her intensely as she spoke to him, she could see he was struggling with some emotion she couldn't read. Her hand continued its exploration, slipping to the back of his neck, gently caressing. She felt him shudder as he rubbed his head against her hand. "Tell me what you want Spike," she whispered in a low, seductive voice she hardly recognised. This was another Buffy she hadn't known existed, like the one in the club. She wasn't going home the same person that came out here just a few weeks ago. Going home... she didn't want to think about that. So little time, and so far away. All the more reason to grab this with both hands. He'd said he deserved happiness, but so did she. She let her hand slip down inside his shirt collar, her thumb skimming lightly across his collar bone. She loved the way his chest moved as he sucked in uneven, ragged breaths and she loved that she was the cause of his breathing difficulties. "Tell me William."

"I want," his voice was a hoarse whisper, "god help me Buffy, I want this." He tightened his arms around her, and reclaimed her mouth with a kiss that was almost scary in its intensity. She grabbed hold of his shoulder to anchor herself, and sighed with relief as he slid his tongue into her mouth at last. This was it. She was dizzy with heat and desire but there was something else. A little feeling of panic, slowly building in intensity, as she realised that she was falling in love with him. She pressed herself against him as hard as she could, not wanting any space between them at all. How could this have happened so fast? And how could she ever let him go?

~*~*~*~*~

Xander couldn't believe his luck. She liked him, and judging by the way she kept staring at the floor, she was more nervous than he was. Don't mess this up Harris, she's cute. He sat himself down next to her, Darned cute. And there was nothing remotely scary about her tonight. He almost hadn't recognised her when he'd arrived. Vamp Willow had been replaced by adorable jeans -and -sweatshirt Willow, and she was sitting right beside him. "So" he clapped his hands together, making her jump. "You like horror then?"

"Not really," she gave him a tenuous smile, "I made that bit up."

"Really?"

"Uh-Huh."

"So you didn't enjoy the film?"

"Nope."

Right, end of that topic. Think Harris. "Uhh, Buffy and Spike said they'd be a while with the food, so what do you wanna do?" Christ that was a stupid thing to say, did it sound like he meant . . . ?

Willow looked at him, her eyes wide. "I w-want to do," she turned to him, and took a deep breath, then she reached up and took hold of his tie. "This." The knot fell away as she untied it for him with shaking fingers, slowly sliding it away and dropping it on the floor. Then she reached up and undid the top button of his shirt.

Xander was almost rigid with shock by the time she'd finished. She'd gone from cute to sexy in a microsecond, and he was ready to explode. This sort of thing happened to him all the time - in his fantasy world - but this, it was happening in real life. What did he do now? She was looking at him with her huge eyes, her hands still on his shirt collar. It was his move, only he couldn't. His mouth didn't seem to want to close, his hands were clamped to his knees, suddenly paralysed. And he was going to burst out of his pants any moment now.

~*~*~*~*~

My god, she'd done it. It had taken every inch of courage, and, by the look on his face, had almost given him a heart attack. But she'd done it. And now she understood how Buffy had felt in the club. This feeling of feminine power, it was good. But what happened now? Wasn't this the bit where the man swept you off your feet, and kissed you like there was no tomorrow? Did you do that when you'd only known someone a couple of hours? Come on Xander. He was staring at her with his mouth open, and his hands were holding his knees so tightly they were shaking. Was this good or bad? She hadn't had much experience with men, that was true, but she'd seen films, read books. He had to be more experienced than her, surely?

"Uhh, Xander," she waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance. "This is the part where you sweep me off my feet."

"I do? Where?" He looked around.

"Here silly." She took his chin, surprised at her own boldness, and turned his face to hers. He was so nervous that it actually made her feel confident, and she never felt confident when she was with a man. Did all women have this sexy alter ego somewhere inside, just waiting for the right person to bring it out? She needed to look it up someday, but not now. She'd been dreading this, sure she was going to make a complete mess of it, but she was actually enjoying it, although his apparent lack of response was a bit worrying. She gave him what she hoped was an inviting smile. He wiped his hands on his pants and sort of smiled back at her, squirming uncomfortably, and she looked down to see what was wrong. Oh. Now she knew. He saw her looking and slapped his hands over the front of his trousers, and now, it was his turn to blush.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike gave Buffy his hand, and pulled her up, grimacing as he adjusted his jeans. He was so hard he could hardly walk, and there was only one way this make-out session was going to go if they didn't stop right now. He pulled her towards him and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. "Coffee's ready I think."

She looked back at him with passion-clouded eyes. "Coffee, what's that?" She reached up on tiptoe and kissed him again, and for a few moments he was lost as she did wonderful things to his mouth. She gave him a wicked grin as she pulled away. "D'you like that, Spike?"

"Yeah, I like, but if you don't stop, you wicked woman, I'm going to have to throw you over my shoulder and take you upstairs." He turned towards the door, "So, coffee?" Walking away took some effort, but it wasn't the right time to go any further. There were things to sort out and Xander, Dru's brother in the next room. God, Dru, what was he going to do about her? It was so easy to get carried away when you were in the moment, and now that he'd taken this first step with Buffy, there was no going back. He had to tell Dru, and it was going to hurt her like hell, maybe even cost him his friendship with Xander. He felt Buffy's hand creep into his as they walked into the kitchen and he gave it a squeeze. Was their happiness worth all the pain this was going to cause?

Chapter 9

~*~

Buffy just wanted to keep touching him. This was the first time she’d gone so head over heels for anyone, and she was on such a high from what had just happened that she almost couldn’t pour the coffee straight. She had to keep looking at him to make sure he wasn’t going to disappear. He was so darned sexy, sitting there, with his hair all messed up, elbows on the table, chin in his hands, watching her as she pottered around. She wanted to sit on his lap, get him to kiss her again, but some instinct was telling her to back off, just a little. Give him space. He was right, if they were going to do this, and they already had really, then it had to be done right. He owed Drusilla that much.

"So, how do think Xan and Willow are getting on?" She handed him a coffee and sat down opposite him.

"Thanks," he put it down in front of him, and stared into it. "Knowing Xander, they’ll be watching the next film by now. He likes to talk big when it comes to women, but they actually terrify him. You wouldn’t believe some of the dates he’s been on."

"I would actually."

Spike laughed, "Oh yeah, forgot you’ve been in the love machine."

"The what?"

"The Mini," Spike looked pensive for a moment. He’s a good friend.

"And you think that when he finds out about us, he’ll freak?"

"Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe." He extended his hand across the table, and covered hers. "What are we doing Buffy?"

"Being happy." She looked straight at him, her gaze unwavering. "We deserve it, remember?" Her other hand covered his. "And I’ve never been so sure about anything." Her heart gave a little lurch. "You’re not changing your mind are you?"

"God no Buffy. Do you think I’d start this and walk away? But you will be. Come the end of the year, you’re back to the States aren’t you?"

Buffy didn’t know what to say. Yes, she was going home. Everything she knew was there, her dad was waiting for her, her future was waiting for her, and until now it hadn’t included this handsome, utterly irresistible man who was sitting opposite her. She didn’t want to deal with anything past that right now. "Are you hungry Spike?" She patted his hand, let it go and pushed her chair back. "Because I promised you food."

He seemed relieved at the subject change and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. "Yeah, suddenly I’m ravenous.

"You are?" Buffy walked slowly around the table, and stopped in front of him. "Well, we’d better do something about that, hadn’t we?"

"Oh yeah?"

She saw him swallow hard as she placed her hands on her hips and leaned towards him. "Chinese or Indian?"

"What?"

"Chinese or Indian? Food." She shimmied past him to the kitchen counter, and picked up the take-away flyers. "Got these through the door. It says they’ll deliver."

He was up like a shot, standing behind her, arms around her waist, whispering in her ear. "Gotta better idea."

"Really?" She tried to play it cool, but she couldn’t stop the little shiver that ran down her spine as his warm breath tickled her ear.

"Fish and chips."

He made it sound so sexy. "What did you say Spike?" she asked in an innocent tone.

He leaned in even closer so that his lips were touching her ear. "Fish and chips." He finished the words on a kiss. Fish and chips as foreplay, that’s a new one, she thought. He gave her earlobe a nibble before taking hold of her hand. "Come on, grab a coat and we’ll walk out to the chippie. Then you can tick it off your list of things to do while you’re in England."

She gave him her best pouty look. "Walk. I’m American, we don’t do walking."

"You do now love. Another great British tradition. Do you think we ought to disturb those two in there?"

Buffy thought for a moment. "They might wonder where we’ve gone. Hang on a minute."
She tiptoed out of the kitchen followed by a very amused Spike, and leaned close to the television room door. "Can’t hear anything," she whispered. "Do you think they’re...?"

"Just call through the door," Spike was whispering too. "Never known Xan to refuse fish and chips."

Buffy tried a little knock, which was greeted by the sound of a flurry of movements from inside the room. She stifled a giggle. "Going out for fish and chips, do you want some?"

"Yes please." "Okay." Xander and Willow both spoke at once.

"No don’t come out, we’re going now." She giggled again as Spike started nibbling the back of her neck. "We’ll be gone..." she looked at Spike.

"Half an hour," he finished for her. "We’ll take the scenic route."

"Okay. Just gotta," she pointed to the bathroom.

He nodded, "I’ll get my coat."

Buffy shut the bathroom door and leaned against it. What a night. Incredible didn’t begin to cover it. Too good to be true? She banished the thought as soon as it came. And America suddenly seemed like a very long way away indeed.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike put on his coat, and felt in his pocket for his phone. You have one new message
He put the phone to his ear and listened.

Spike lowered the phone and stared at it. Then he flipped it closed, and pocketed it.
Hell, what was he doing? He tried for a bright smile as Buffy came out of the bathroom, but it wouldn’t come. First thing tomorrow morning, he’d go and see Dru and sort things out. Only it wasn’t going to be that easy, was it? You didn’t end a two year relationship just like that, even though it was time.

He watched her slip into her jacket and they stepped outside.

"Oh crap, it’s raining." Buffy rushed back into the porch. "I can’t walk in the rain - my hair."

"Will get wet, rain does that." He held out his hand. "Come on, it’s not far."

Buffy backed up further, and held up her hands. "Sorry, no can do. You’ve seen workout Buffy, but I’m not ready for you to see frizzy-hair Buffy."

"Women!" He rolled his eyes heavenward, and reached in his pocket. "Okay, okay, stop with the pathetic look, I’ll drive us."

Buffy skipped down the steps, brightening considerably. "Shall we take my car?"

"No, we’ll go in mine, jump in.

Buffy climbed in beside him. "Sorry about this, always had this thing about the rain. She clicked her seat-belt. I know it’s silly, but It’s just there. No idea where it came from. "How about you?"

Spike backed the car off the drive. "How about me, what?"

"Phobias, irrational fears of hedgehogs, that sort of thing." She was gently teasing. "There must be something."

"Hospitals." He turned the car onto the main road out of the housing estate.

"Oh, with the cut? But it’s pretty normal to be scared of hospitals."

Spike turned the car on to the main road. They had half an hour to kill, so he reckoned they didn’t have to go straight to the shop. And just the mention of hospitals was turning his insides to jelly. He shouldn’t have said it. "So, what does your dad do? For a living, I mean?"

Buffy looked a bit confused at the abrupt change of subject, but thankfully, she let it go.
"Property mainly. Owns a couple of high -rises here and there, your’s?"

"Foreign correspondent, for the BBC. Don’t see much of him, never did."

"Oh."

They lapsed into silence. Spike sneaked little glances at Buffy as he drove, and he found himself going all warm and fuzzy inside. There was so much he didn’t know about her, yet he felt so comfortable with her. And any minute now, he was going to start spouting poetry. Only one place to go when he felt like this. He indicated right, instead of left and headed out of town.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy suspected they weren’t going straight to the chip shop, in fact they’d already passed two. She snuggled back into her seat and let him take her. She even resisted the urge to ask him where they were going, and that wasn’t like her at all. Normally she’d want to be in charge, to know all the details, so she could wear the right clothes, serve the right wine, that sort of thing. It was a nice feeling, being with someone you trusted enough to let them take over. After a few minutes the houses thinned out, and they were in the countryside.

Spike turned the car into a narrow country lane. "Not going to ask where we’re going then?"

"Nope." Buffy pushed in the tape that was sticking out of the machine and jumped as the unfamiliar, and very loud music blared out.

"I might be kidnapping you."

"That’d be nice." Buffy hugged herself. That would be very nice.

The car stopped. "Okay, we’re here." He reached into the glove-box and pulled out a small flashlight, then he swung his door open. "Wanted to show you something."

Buffy opened her door, and looked out in dismay at the still-falling rain. It would be churlish to refuse to go, she really did want to see this whatever-it-was.

Spike looked up and realised what was wrong. "You really that scared of a bit of rain?" He took off his coat and put it over his head. "Here, get under, this’ll only take a few minutes, it’s over there."

It was a little stone building, sitting in the middle of a field, much like a very small church. Buffy stepped gingerly out of the car, cringing as her trainers sank into the muddy ground. She ducked under his coat. "What is it Spike?"

They ran the few yards to the building, and Spike pushed open the wooden door. "It’s an old well-house, supposed to date back to medieval times. Just wait a moment for your eyes to adjust." He pulled the coat off their heads and shrugged back into it. "I love this place."

The door closed behind them and they stood in the cold, dark room in silence. A weak shaft of light was coming in from a hole in the roof, casting the carved stone features lining the walls into strange shadows. Buffy could hear running water coming from somewhere, but she couldn’t make out where. She shivered in the damp air and moved in closer to Spike. He opened his coat so she could snuggle up to him. It was a strange feeling. As if time had stopped and they were suddenly in a world all of their own. Just the sound of their breathing, and the hypnotic trickling of the water. She tightened her arms around him and he rested his head on the top of hers. It was exactly what they needed. Time out from the emotional roller coaster they had both been on for the last few hours. Her breathing relaxed as she leaned against him, listening to his steady heartbeat and feeling utterly at peace.

"Thank you Spike."

"Knew you’d like it. I come here when I need a bit of time out. Reckoned we needed that tonight."

She nodded. "Reckon so."

They stood silently for a few more moments, and then he fished the flashlight out of his pocket. "Look at this."

It was the source of the water. A lion’s head carved into the stone with water coming out of his mouth and cascading into a stone trough. The stone was well-worn. It all looked very old.

"It’s a natural spring. Supposed to have healing properties or something. That’s why I only come here at night. Place is heaving during the day." He swung the flashlight round to reveal a shelf covered in little straw dolls. "Corn dollies. Wiccans tend to use this place for stuff."

Buffy was entranced. Nobody had ever taken her anywhere like this before. It was a secret, magical place, and she knew she would remember this night for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t have been surprised if fairies had appeared and danced for them.

"Kiss me Spike."

He turned, and leaned towards her. "Always happy to oblige, my fairy princess."

God, he was reading her mind now. She went on tiptoe to greet his mouth with hers and they kissed until they were both breathless with need. His warm hands on her waist, moving slowly upwards until his thumbs were grazing the undersides of her breasts. Hers winding behind his back, sliding against the cool cotton of his shirt. Reluctantly pulling apart as they realised they had to go back to the real world.

As they walked back to the car, her breasts still tingling from his touch, Buffy offered up a silent prayer of thanks to whatever beings protected this place. Whatever happened in the future, she’d always have this to remember him by.

Chapter 10

~*~

It was his move. Xander shifted uncomfortably and searched Willow’s face. She was smiling, that was good, and there was the leaning, and the puckering. That was a big clue. He’d been here so often, and ballsed it up so many times that he had no idea what women wanted any more. Her sweet rosebud of a mouth hovered invitingly in front of him, her eyes half closed. If only she’d tell him, give him permission. He really wanted to kiss her.

~*~*~*~*~

Willow was beginning to feel as if she’d entered a smiling contest. She’d sent out every signal she knew, and he was still sitting there looking terrified. Perhaps she’d scared him with the tie thing?

"Xander?"

"Yes, that’s me." His voice came out as a high-pitched squeak. He coughed, and adjusted it to a more manly tone. "Yes?"

"The sweeping off the feet. You can do it any time now."

He looked her up and down. "But you’re already off your feet." His laugh was more than a little hysterical. "But you already know that, right? "Oh god..." His voice trailed off. "Help me here."

He was looking at her so appealingly that Willow’s heart did a little double take. Before, with the tie thing, it had been just sexual. She’d been curious about how he’d react and surprised at the reaction she’d gotten. But this was an entirely different feeling. In that heartbeat, she'd realised that she could really get to like this guy. And she didn’t like seeing him suffer like this. Not when she could put it right.

"Xander, what would you say if I asked you to kiss me?"

"You would?"

He looked so relieved that Willow had to bite back a giggle that was threatening to entirely spoil the moment. She nodded. "Yes, I think I would." She half closed her eyes again and offered him her lips. There was an agonising wait of a split second, before his met hers in a gentle, almost shy touch. It was unbearably sweet, and it felt like coming home. All the memories of previous, teenage kisses, the awkward ones where you banged your teeth together, the slobbery wet ones, the gagging tongue-down-the-throat ones, all faded from memory. And were replaced by this. She leaned in a bit further, increasing the pressure and he did the same. She changed the angle and he adjusted his to fit. He’d actually taken his hands out of his lap and was holding on to her elbows, so she put hers on his waist. It’s like a dance, she thought, and we both know the steps. And she had to breathe.

As she pulled away, Xander tried to follow her, his eyes hazy and unfocussed. He muttered something she didn’t catch and pulled her back to him, his arms sliding up her elbows and around her back. His mouth became more demanding as he pushed her back into the sofa, and she shifted to accommodate him. Then he had to breathe. He lifted his head and looked at her, his chest heaving, a ghost of a grin on his lips. She smiled back and his grin became wider.

They were like two schoolkids who had discovered a delicious secret. Xander nodded, his grin becoming goofier by the second and Willow simply said, "yeah." She gave a happy little sigh and pulled him down for another kiss.

~*~*~*~*~

"It's been more than half an hour." Buffy looked at her watch as Spike parked the car. "They’ll be getting worried."

"No they won’t. You staying in the car?"

"What, and miss this cultural experience, no way." Buffy followed Spike out of the car and linked her arm in his.

He gave her arm a quick squeeze and disentangled himself. "Sorry love, gotta be careful for now. They know me in here."

She stuffed her hands in her pockets, feeling suddenly self conscious. "Sorry, didn’t think of that."

"Hey, it won’t be for long. Just wouldn’t be fair for Dru to find out from someone else."

"Maybe I should wait in the car then." Buffy turned to go back, feeling ever so slightly hurt. It was silly really, and he was entirely right. He would be all hers soon enough. She wanted things to be perfect all the time, but this was real life. It was messy and complicated, and quite wonderful all at the same time. His arm reached out to stop her and she suddenly felt ashamed of her little outburst. "It’s okay Spike." She patted his hand, focusing on that, not his face. "Go get the food. My treat. Here," she handed him a twenty pound note. "Will this be enough?"

She couldn’t tell what he was thinking as he took the money. He simply nodded in understanding and handed her the car keys. She took them and let herself back into the car, still feeling mildly embarrassed about her mis-step. Did this mean that they couldn’t be seen together at all until he finished with Dru? Would it be that obvious if they pretended to be just friends? She could never just be Spike’s friend, she realised. It would be torture seeing him and not being able to touch him. To sit a few feet away from him and not take him in her arms. The driver’s door opened and Spike and the delicious smell of fish and chips entered the car.

"Like your new after shave." She was trying to be jolly as he handed her the carrier bag full of food, but she knew she didn’t sound it. "Mmm. This smells good. Can’t wait to get back now."

He slammed his door, put the key in the ignition and turned to her, bringing his hand up to the side of her face. "Listen to me Buffy. I was a real thoughtless prat back there. Will you forgive me?"

Buffy leaned her head into his hand. When he looked at her like that, she’d forgive him anything. "There’s nothing to forgive, Spike, Dru needs to hear it from you. But you can kiss me now, right? Windows all steamed up, no-one can see in."

"You bet." Spike pulled her across the seat, and Buffy let out a shriek as she rolled onto the bag containing the food.

"Oh. No. Now look what you’ve done." She put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle, "How are we going to explain this to Xander and Willow?" She held up the flattened bag and giggled again. "They’re going to think we were..."

"I wish." Spike gave her a swift peck on the mouth, started the engine and turned the car for home. "This’ll have to be our little secret, just for a while longer."

On the way home, Buffy thought about what she’d nearly said. That big, important step in her life. It was about to happen and it was exciting and just a teeny bit nerve-racking. She desperately wanted the first time to be with Spike, she was sure of that and she knew he would make it special for her. She wasn’t that innocent, but she suddenly felt like a naive schoolgirl next to him. The way he’d taken on Angelus, the way he drove, the way he kissed. He did everything so confidently. Like he was used to being in charge. She gazed out into the night as a delicious warmth began to pulse through her. He’d said he was going to throw her over his shoulder and take her upstairs, and she wanted him to. She wanted him to teach her everything he knew.

~*~*~*~*~

Right now, Buffy had Spike handcuffed naked to her bed. She was wearing the naughty leather top and the stockings, of course, and she was standing over him while he lay there, helpless and hers to command. She squeezed her legs together and rolled over onto her stomach. That last image had really hit the spot. Perhaps she shouldn’t have insisted that everyone stay the night, because she just wanted to go into the next room, where he was, and jump into bed with him. Of course, the fact that Xander was in the same room put somewhat of a damper on things.

They’d all ended up having far too much to drink and no-one was in any state to drive home. Xander and Willow had tried to play it cool, but by the end of the evening it was obvious they were an item. She’d had to make do with a few quick snogs in the kitchen, on the pretext of fetching more drinks, but that had only added to the frustration. She threw back the covers and got out of bed. Her head was swimming a little and she knew she was going to have a monster hang-over if she didn’t do something about it. Water. That’s what you were supposed to drink. Lots of it. She slipped out of her room and made her way towards the stairs.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike lay on his back, one arm thrown across his face, listening to Xander’s regular breathing. He was pleased for him. It was about time he had some success in love, and he and Willow had looked so happy. He couldn’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy though. They had nothing to stop them and he had to face Dru tomorrow. It was going to break her heart. No wonder sleep wouldn’t come. And having Buffy in the next room wasn’t helping.

He heard Xander stir. He let him get half-way out of bed and then he coughed. Xander shot back under the covers, as Spike grinned to himself. He was pleased for him, yeah, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with him. That’s what mates were for, right?

"So, you got it on with Red then?"

"What?" Xander was, very obviously, pretending to be half asleep.

"Willow. The two of you, you know, together."

"Yeah. She’s great Spike." Xander gave up all pretence of sleeping and sat up. "I just gotta go to the er...take a leak."

"Of course you do." Spike grinned into his pillow. At least someone was going to get to work off their frustration tonight. the lucky bastard

~*~*~*~*~

Willow couldn’t stop thinking about the film. One particularly gory bit kept repeating itself over and over in her mind, until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She wished Xander were here, so she could cuddle up to his manly chest, and feel safe. That’s what manly chests were for, she decided. It was a comforting thought, and if he’d been alone in the spare room, she might have considered slipping in, and climbing into bed with him. It had only been an hour since she’d seen him and she was missing him already. That first kiss had been an absolute revelation, but Buffy and Spike had arrived home far too soon. And now someone was moving outside the door, and making their way down the stairs. Once she’d convinced herself that it wasn’t an extra from the film, she slid out of bed and peeked round the door.

"Buffy, is that you?" The figure stopped, and turned round.

"Yes," she whispered. "Going down for a drink. Can’t you sleep either?"

"No. Wait, I’ll come too." Willow grabbed her sweatshirt and put it on over the short nightie that Buffy had lent her, then she tiptoed downstairs after Buffy.

~*~*~*~*~

Xander really did need the bathroom, so he went there first. He wondered if Willow would mind if he sneaked into her room- just for a cuddle. And maybe another of those mind-blowing kisses that she was so good at. They couldn’t get up to much else with Buffy and Spike around, and even in his drunken state he realised that she wasn’t that sort of girl. Sleeping with a guy would be a big commitment for her, and despite her bravado with the tie thing, he knew he needed to go slow. He finished up and made his way to what he hoped was her room. The door was open. Peering in, he saw that she wasn’t in her bed. Where the hell was she? He walked back out to the landing and listened. Probably in with Buffy. Girls liked to talk about things, didn’t they? Buffy’s room was quiet too, but then he noticed the light on downstairs. That’s where they were. Missing you already Willow. Forgetting he was clad only in his boxer shorts, he made his way down the stairs.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy poured herself a big drink of water and downed it in one. "Don’t want to get a hangover, do you want one Will?"

Willow waved her hand. "Got any fruit juice?"

"Yeah, I got everything." Buffy opened the fridge door and took out a carton. "Get yourself a glass - in there. Then tell me everything."

Willow poured herself a drink. "Don’t know what you mean."

"Come on Willow, spill. The U.S.T was rolling off the pair of you in waves when me and Spike got back."

"U.S.T. What’s that?"

"Unresolved sexual tension."

Willow took a long swig of her drink. "What, like you and Spike?"

"What?" Don’t blush, don’t blush "I’ve no idea what you’re talking about."

"Buffy, it’s okay. Your secret is safe with me. I guess Xander can’t know?"

Buffy let out a long breath and flopped down into a chair. "Is it that obvious?"

"Is the pope a Catholic? Yeah, just a little. I guess Xander didn’t notice because he was - he was..."

"Aha, so you are together."

"Yes." Willow’s face lit up. "Oh, Buffy it’s just too wonderful. He sort of fits right into me."

Buffy frowned. "Not sure I’m getting the imagery here." A little light bulb went on in her head. "You didn’t?"

"What? No. He’s just so," Willow leaned towards her and whispered. "I could really, really, get to like him. You were right Buffy, sometimes you have to just go for what you want."

Buffy was about to answer when she heard a noise at the door. "What’s that?"

Willow looked round anxiously, as the door shook. Just like it did in the film.

~*~*~*~*~

Xander stood outside the kitchen door, one hand about to push it open. What was that?

It was Willow’s voice. Was she talking about him? She could really get to like him? His chest swelled with manly pride and he felt a primitive urge to rush into the kitchen and carry her off. She really liked him. The way she’d said it. Tonight was all his dreams come true at once. Then Buffy’s face peered round, serious at first but breaking out into a huge grin when she saw his state of undress.

"Oh it’s you." She turned back into the room. "It’s only Xander." Then her face appeared again. He squirmed uncomfortably as Buffy’s gaze dropped to his underwear. "You look, umm, cold." She pointed to the coat-closet. "Find yourself something, then come join us. It looks like the party’s starting up again."

~*~*~*~*~

Spike lay in bed, listening to the goings-on on the landing. First Buffy’s door, then Willow’s. Xander was in the bathroom, then he was going downstairs. What the hell was happening? He climbed out of bed and pulled on his jeans. Damned if they were starting up the party again without him.

He could see Willow’s room was empty. Slowly, he pushed open Buffy’s door. The bedside lamp was on, but she wasn’t there. He stepped inside, feeling a bit like a pervert as he took in the rumpled bed-linen, her make-up neatly arranged on the dressing table, the discarded underwear on the floor. He was just drunk enough to think it was a good idea, so he slipped inside, picked up her panties and stuffed them into his back pocket. He gave her cuddly pig a wicked grin. "I’ll give them back, promise." God, that was a lucky pig, getting to sleep where she did. The bed smelled vaguely of her perfume, and he had to fight the urge to climb in and wait for her to return. A poetry book lay open and he raised an eyebrow as he saw what she was reading. Whoa, she was definitely as frustrated as he was if she was reading this sort of thing in bed. He looked around and recognised her college bag in the corner. Ripping a scrap of paper from her notebook, he rummaged for a pen. page 42, only with stockings. He scribbled on the paper and tucked it inside her book. Then he went downstairs to join the party.

~*~*~*~*~

It was three am before anyone went back to bed. For some strange reason, Buffy had a huge collection of board games including Cluedo, the English version of Clue, so they all trooped back into the television room to play. Once he’d got over the shock of seeing Xander wearing a vaguely familiar fur coat, Spike settled himself as closely to Buffy as he could, without arousing suspicions. He found that if he casually leaned one arm on the floor just behind her, he could tickle the base of her spine without anyone seeing that he’d moved his hand. This kept him amused for the rest of the evening, especially as Buffy was struggling to keep a straight face as he stroked her. He got bolder and bolder as he realised that Willow and Xander weren’t taking much notice anyway. It was definitely going to be Willow, with Xander, in the bedroom, very soon.

~*~*~*~*~

He was going to pay for this, Buffy thought as she squirmed and tried not to laugh. She was devilishly ticklish and he was torturing her. So was the fact that he was half-naked and wearing his glasses so he could read the cards. The combination of a shirtless Spike and glasses made an incredibly erotic picture. The intellectual and the sex-bomb, all rolled into one. She imagined him standing, like this, in front of a class of students, book in hand, explaining the finer point of Romantic Poetry. While all the female, and probably some of the male students, swooned and sighed. The would be a popular class! Oh, it was her move.

~*~*~*~*~

Eventually Willow fell asleep on Xander and he gallantly, if somewhat unsteadily, carried her upstairs to her bed. Then he slipped in beside her and held her close, thanking a god he didn’t really believe in for this tremendous gift he’d been given.

~*~*~*~*~

As soon as they left the room, Spike pulled Buffy towards him. "Thank god they’ve gone. Goodnight kiss?"

"Yes please." Buffy’s fingers threaded into his hair and held him firmly, possessively. "I thought they’d never go."

He’d only meant it to be a quick kiss, but there was no way he could control it. Not with the loosened inhibitions of too much alcohol. He crushed her to his chest, kissing her long and hard. The buttons on her pyjama top opened as he pulled at them, desperate to feel her against him, skin to skin. Her soft breast filled his hand, the nipple hardening as he grazed it with his thumb. She pressed herself against him, making little noises deep in her throat, and he groaned with the sheer torment of it all.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy." He murmured it over and over as he kissed her face, trailing his lips across her cheek, loving the way she squirmed as he whispered it in her ear. Loving the way she arched up into him as his mouth moved lower to her breast. Her hands were on his back, urging him down, sliding to his bottom, and squeezing. Feeling in his pocket? He tried to wriggle out of her grasp, but she had them.

"Spike?" She held up the panties, her eyes wide. "Spike!"

He buried his face between her breasts. "The pig gave them to me. Bit of a pervert that pig, if you ask me." Then he looked up and was mightily relieved to find she was smiling. "You’re not cross then?"

"I haven’t decided." Her grin became decidedly wicked. "Of course, you’ll have to be punished."

He dropped his head once more and kissed his way from one breast to the other, knowing this had to stop soon. He had to go to his bed and she had to go to hers. "Is that a promise?"

"Oh yes," Buffy gave a gasp as his mouth found her already-aching nipple. "It most definitely is."

Chapter 11

~*~

By the time Buffy woke up the next morning, it was past eleven o’ clock, and she had a hangover to end all hangovers. She staggered to her bathroom and downed two painkillers, before slipping into her clothes of the previous night, and venturing out of her room. Last night, and all the incredible things that had happened, seemed like a dream. The kisses, the Well-House. Spike. Had he meant all those things he’d said? She peered out of the window and saw that all the cars were parked on the drive. So, he was still here. She padded across to his room, suddenly shy at the prospect of seeing him. Xander and Willow were still in bed, she could hear them talking softly, but the door to Spike’s room was partly open, and the bed was empty. Buffy leaned her head back against the wall and fought off a wave of nausea. She wanted to see him before he went, but why did she feel so awkward about it? He hadn’t wanted to stay with her when they’d finally made it upstairs, but she understood his reasons for that. He had to finish with Drusilla first because of her. The scarlet woman who’d lured him away. Drusilla was really going to hate her for this.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike was already up, his mind on the unpleasant task that needed to be done some time today. He was determined to get it done sooner rather than later. No point in putting it off. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Dru wasn’t going to like it one bit and who could blame her? But he really had had enough of it all. Buffy had just brought forward the inevitable. Buffy. As he dressed, he remembered how she’d clung to him when he’d deposited her in her bed. She couldn’t hold her drink, that was for sure. It would have been taking advantage to stay with her, pure and simple, and there was no way he was doing that. He made his way down to the kitchen and looked around for the coffee. When she came down he’d say good morning then go do what he had to do.

~*~*~*~*~

Willow slowly drifted out of sleep, and focused on her surroundings. Unfamiliar. The walls were the wrong colour and her teddy was suddenly - Xander shaped? She sat up and looked down at his sleeping form. What on earth had they got up to last night? They’d played Clue, but she had no memory of anything after that. A lot of kissing, yeah, and Buffy and Spike had been all over each other, but there wasn’t anything about them getting into bed together. As she racked her foggy brain, he started to stir, and she felt a moment of panic. What if he regretted what happened? If anything had happened. Surely she should be able to remember it?

~*~*~*~*~

Xander woke up feeling warm, and happy, and utterly satisfied with life. He opened his eyes to the sight of Willow looking down on him, and he couldn’t imagine a better way to start the day. He gave her a lazy smile and tried to pull her down for a kiss but it suddenly dawned on him that she didn’t look that happy. His heart sank a little. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

At least she was speaking to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Willow sat up, feeling a bit self conscious in her skimpy nightie. “Xander?”

Uh oh, here it comes, he thought. He’d heard this one so many times, he ought to write a book. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. It had felt so good, so right. He steeled himself for the brush off, wondering what he’d done wrong this time. Well, apart from jumping into bed with her without asking. What an idiot he was.

“I want to ask you something.”

“Yes Willow, I’ll be friends with you.” He sighed. “That’s what you were going to say wasn’t it?

Willow looked a little confused but carried on. “Of course I want to be your friend Xander , but after we came to bed, did we, did we, do...”

“No, we didn’t. I’d never take advantage of you. You must know that.”

Willow flung herself onto his very manly chest, and hugged him. “Thank you Xander.”

Now he was confused. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me?”

She snuggled in even closer. “A lot of men would have, taken what they could. I was pretty drunk last night. Thanks for being such a gentleman.”

Xander pulled the quilt up around them, his happy mood quickly returning. “My pleasure ma’am,” he said in an American drawl. “Does this mean I can kiss you now?”

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy pushed open the kitchen door and was hit by the smell of coffee. Her stomach did a little flip and she wasn’t sure whether it was the sight of Spike, leaning against the kitchen counter and drinking a cup of the stuff, or her delicate stomach. She ran a hand through her hair, which felt, and probably looked, like a haystack. “Morning.”

“You look hungover.”

“I feel it, why don’t you?” It wasn’t fair. Apart from slightly messed up hair, he looked perfectly normal. And she knew he’d had a lot more to drink than her.

“Used to it.” He poured out a coffee and handed it to her. “I guess you’re not?”

Buffy put the coffee down on the table. “Can’t face that right now. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yes and no. C’m’ere Buffy.”

He held out his arms and she sank gratefully against him and remembered what he’d felt like last night. It hadn’t been a dream. The hand stroking her hair was the same. His voice, the feel of his chest. It was all there.

“Feeling rough?”

“You could say. I was afraid I’d dreamt it all.”

“Last night?” He gave a little laugh. “That would have been some dream.” He crooked his neck down to look at her. “No regrets then?”

“No, you?”

“None. Not looking forward to today though.”

“With Dru? When will you see her?

“Going straight round. No point in putting it off.”

“I feel bad for her Spike. Feel like I’ve stolen you away from her.”

“You haven’t Buffy, honest. It would have happened anyway. It’s not going to be nice, but you’ve got to trust me on this.”

“I do Spike.” She pulled back as she heard footsteps on the stairs. “Looks like the others are up.”

Spike drained his cup. “Yeah I gotta go.” He placed a swift kiss on her lips. “Give me your phone number, I’ll call you later.”

“I’ve got some cards somewhere. Morning Willow, Xander. Spike was just leaving. Help yourself to coffee, cereal, toast.”

Buffy followed Spike out and handed him his coat. “Let me know how it goes. “ She handed him one of the change-of- address cards that she’d had printed to send to her friends back in the States, and he slipped it into his coat pocket. “Call me, please.” God, that sounded needy, but she was close to tears as he walked towards the door. What if he couldn’t do it? Finish with Dru. She didn’t know Drusilla, but from what Spike had said, she wasn’t the type to give up easily. What if Dru wouldn’t let him go?

She knew she pulled funny faces when she cried, and she was doing it now. Spike frowned at her and framed her face with his hands.

“Chin up girl.” He bent down for another kiss, brushing the tears away with his thumbs. “I’ll call you as soon as I’ve seen her.

He kissed her again and then just held her, as she clung to him. She felt a bit silly when she pulled away, sniffing and wiping her nose on her sleeve. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Bad headache. That and I just don’t want you to go.”

“Got to love. Hey, why don’t you go check out that poetry book you were reading last night? Left you a note.”

“You did?” Oh heck, he hadn’t seen that book had he?

She watched until his car was out of sight, then she went back upstairs to take a shower. As she undressed, she flicked through the poetry book. Page 42. Pulling on her bathrobe, she settled back on the bed to read it. Whoa, it was good, it was very erotic and it was - his. The name at the bottom of the poem simply read - Spike.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike let himself into his flat, threw his keys onto the table and picked up the phone. He’d rehearsed it over and over in the car, but his hand was still shaking as he dialled the number, let it ring, switched it off. Did it again.

She sounded in a good mood when he finally got hold of her, and he could hear laughter in the background.

“Hi Dru. Look I need to see you. Yes now. You at The Frog? I’m gonna grab a shower, then I’m coming over.”

By the time he got there, she’d gone. A small group of her college friends were clustered around the infamous Johnny, but no Dru. Spike scanned the bar, wondering if she’d gone to the bathroom or something. Then one of her friends caught his eye.

“Hi, Spike.” She motioned him over. “You looking for Dru?” The bar was busy and they had to shout to be heard. “’Cause she’s gone to your place. You’d better go after her, she’s a bit...” the girl waggled her head towards Johnny. “Dunno what he gave her, but she was in a very good mood when she left.”

“Shit.” Spike wanted to strangle her, then he wanted to punch Johnny’s lights out. “You’re supposed to be her friend. Why d’you let her do this?”

“Why do you Spike?" She looked him up and down. “She was pretty upset last night, could have done with you here. Where were you?”

“Bugger off Darla. When did she leave?”

Darla sidled up to him and ran her finger up his arm. “Because if you two aren’t...I’m so free right now.”

“I said bugger off.” Spike slapped her hand away. “What’s she been saying?”

“Hit a nerve did I? Well, apparently you’ve been a bit lacking in the . . .” she looked pointedly at Spike’s crotch, and smirked. “She tells me everything you know.”

“Is that a fact?” Spike gave her a cold smile and felt in his pocket for his keys. “You don’t want to believe everything you hear love.” Then he turned and made his way through the crowd, fists clenched, jaw twitching. He was sick to the back teeth of it all. The bloody humiliation. Having to defend his manhood to Darla, of all people. If he ever saw that crowd again, it would be too fucking soon. He just wanted out.

~*~*~*~*~

By the time Buffy emerged from the shower, Willow and Xander had gone. There was a note on the kitchen table.

Sorry we sneaked off. You looked like you could use some peace and quiet. Thanks for a great evening. I’ll call you. Willow

To tell the truth, she was relieved. She couldn’t concentrate on anything but what Spike was doing with Dru. How was it going? Would he do it? She looked at the phone. Call me Spike, please. I can’t bear this. It didn’t ring. She made herself a drink, grabbed a couple of cookies and went back upstairs. Sleep was what she needed more than anything, well, apart from Spike calling. She sat down on her bed and picked up the clock. He’d been gone less than an hour, and she’d counted every agonising minute. Buffy picked up the phone and placed it carefully on her pillow, then she laid her head next to it and focused all her determination on making it ring. Within minutes she was fast asleep.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike found his front door unlocked when he got back home. She was here then. He took a deep breath and pushed it open. Dru was lying full-length on the couch, one arm on her chest, the other dangling to the floor. The television was blaring. For a moment he thought she was asleep, or worse, unconscious. He was at her side in three strides, dropping to his knees beside the couch and reaching for her hand. Not now, please not now. “Dru?” He shook her, “Dru, wake up.”

Drusilla snapped one eye open and a big grin spread across her face. “Gotcha!” She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the couch. “Your face Spike, was a picture. You didn’t really think I was...” She creased over, laughing at her own joke, stopping only when she realised that he wasn’t.

Spike dropped her hand and sat back on his heels. “What the bloody hell was that about?”

She leaned forward and ran her hand lightly across his chest. “That, was about you being a naughty boy and leaving me all alone last night.”

“You nearly gave me a sodding heart attack.” Spike pushed himself to his feet. She was making it easy for him, and that somehow wasn’t right. He’d got it stuck in his mind somewhere that this needed to be hard on him. That if he suffered now, it would somehow absolve him. But the words slipped right out, nice and easy. “I can’t take any more of this Dru.” It almost sounded like someone else was saying them. “I’ve had enough, let’s cool it, we can still be friends." He didn’t really mean that one. All the old clichés. It shocked him how readily they rolled off his tongue. And all the while she just stood there, arms folded, waiting for him to finish. Then she sat down and picked up the TV remote control.

“So, Spikey, what do you wanna watch?”

“Dru.” He sat down next to her. “Have you heard a word I’ve said?”

She flicked channels. “Ooh, look, James Bond, with Pierce whats-is-name. I like him.”

No, It wasn’t going to be easy.

He leaned over, took the remote from her and flicked off the TV. “Dru, love, look at me. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”

“Not listening, not listening.” She put her hands over her ears and rocked backwards and forwards, sticking her tongue out at him like a child. “Can’t hear you.”

“Dru,” he tried to pull her hands away but she wriggled out of his grasp and stood up, eyes blazing.

“I said, I’m - not - listening.” She screamed it at the top of her voice. “Can’t... “ her voice trailed away, “hear - you.” She slumped back down on the couch and dropped her hands to her lap. “Did you say something, Spike?”

Spike was dumb-struck. What kind of shit was he? Doing this to her when she was in this state. It took him two attempts before he was able to speak. “What did you take Dru?”

“Dunno,” she sounded like a little girl. “That stuff from Johnny.”

“We need to get you help, Dru, you know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she nodded slowly and then turned to him. “But you’ll help me, won’t you?” Her hand crept round his back as she leaned her head against his chest. “Help me Spike, I’m so scared.”

“Bloody hell Dru,” Spike’s arm went around her and pulled her close. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”

~*~*~*~*~

Dru smiled as she pressed her face against Spike’s shirt. She’d known this was coming for a long time, but did he really think he was going to get away that easily? Spike belonged to her. Had since the moment she’d set eyes on him. He was just being silly, paying her back for not wanting to spend a boring evening with his boring friends. And this was a game they’d played before. Would play again. That’s what made this so special. The passion. He needed it and so did she. Her hands moved round to his belt buckle and slowly started to undo it. “Got just the thing for you pet. You just lie back and Dru’ll kiss it all better.”

Chapter 12

“Leave it out Dru.” Spike grabbed her hands and held them up, away from him. Disbelief clouded her features. She lunged back in at him, but he held her firm. “No Dru, no more.”

“Okay, okay.” Her hands broke free and she held them up, palms towards him. A gesture of peace. “You mean it, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t look at her. “Look, we don’t have to do this now, how are you feeling?”

“Well,” she stared at her palms, opening and closing them. “I was feeling rather good, until you came in and told me that you and me are a big pile of shit.”

“That’s not what I said, Dru. And this is a crap time to be having this conversation. Let me take you home.” He stood up, picking up his car keys. “Get yourself right. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“You’ll talk, you mean.” She gave a half-snort, half-laugh. “You like to hear yourself talk, did you know that Spike?”

“Yeah, I’ve been told. Come on.”

“No, let’s have this out now. Just tell me why.”

“There’s nothing left Dru. We don’t make each other happy any more.” I’ve got someone else He turned away. “And this drugs thing. It’s killing me.”

“No Spike.” She looked at him with a calm certainty. The sanest she’d looked all evening. “It’s killing me. Do you want that on your conscience?”

The car keys flew across the table and he whirled round to face her “I have never, ever, supported your drug habit. How can you say that? I loved you. Do you think I like seeing you slowly killing yourself? Like seeing you with that pig Johnny? What do you do for the drugs Dru? You sure-as-hell can’t afford to buy them.”

“Loved?” She picked up her coat. “As in past tense? As in not any more? Shouting didn’t work, would it help if I cried?”

She was coming down. Whatever high she’d been on, Spike recognised the familiar signs. A little bit of the Dru he used to know. Sharp and bright. For a few moments. Then she’d crash-land into a weeping mess. And he’d have to catch her, like he always did.

“Come on love,” he took her by the elbow, but she shook him off.

“At least let me get my things.”

Spike ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah.” He gestured towards the bedroom. “Go ahead.”

She emerged a few moments later, carrying a small bag. “Not much to show, for two years, eh?”

That just about summed it up really. Spike picked up his keys. “Come on then.”

“No need, I’ll find my own way.”

“No you bloody won’t.” He grabbed her by the arm and held her as he locked the front door. She didn’t struggle. He wouldn’t have forced her if she had. Knew better than that. Then he walked her to his car. “Get in.” The battle of wills lasted for a few seconds longer, before he said again, more gently this time. “Please.”

As he drove Dru home, he remembered a similar conversation with a girl, by a car and his hand went to the scar that was forming over his eye. The night his world had turned upside - down. Sweet, sexy, accident-prone Buffy. She’d be waiting for his call. Waiting for him. Only something didn’t feel quite right. Going straight from one girl to another. He wanted Buffy like he never wanted anything before, but would she understand that he needed some space, some thinking time? In a few minutes he would be saying goodbye to Dru for the last time. Putting two years of his life behind him. It wasn’t like taking off an old sweater and throwing it in the trash. Right now he was raw and exposed. And a whole lot of other things, all mixed up and jumbled in his head. It was a kind of grief, and only time would put that right.

They pulled up outside Dru’s house, and she jumped out before he’d even stopped the car. He hadn’t gotten half-way up the path, before she slammed the front door and disappeared from view. And that was it. Finished.

~*~*~*~*~

Drusilla ran up to her bedroom and slammed the door. The house was empty, her parents away for the afternoon. She flung herself on her bed and felt in her pocket. The card. It had been in his duster pocket. She’d been looking for money. Figured he owed her, but this was much more interesting. The words blurred as her eyes filled with tears. “Buffy Summers has moved to England!” She turned the card over, then turned it back. “Who are you love? Did you steal my William away from me?” She crumpled the card in her hand, and stared at the ceiling. “Did you?”

~*~*~*~*~

The phone rang mid-afternoon. Buffy went from sleep to wake in two seconds and grabbed the receiver, almost dropping it in her haste.

“Oh, hi Willow. No I wasn’t asleep, well, yeah, but it’s okay.”

Willow had a date with Xander. That was good. Yes it had been a nice evening. No he hadn’t called. Why not? Yes, perhaps tonight.

“Okay, see you on Monday then.” Willow finally got off the line. Buffy felt a bit mean for being so short with her, particularly since she was brimming with the good news about her and Xander, but she wanted the line left clear. If he didn’t ring soon, she was going to explode. The clock told her she’d only been asleep for a couple of hours. That couldn’t be right. She sat up and stretched, then went downstairs. The kitchen clock said the same time and so did the one in the lounge. Damn.

Assignments. She had a couple of those to do, and lots of nervous energy to burn off, but she’d never be able to concentrate. A run, she should go for a run, and she could take her cell-phone. The number was on the card she’d given him. Wasn’t it? Now she had to go and check it, because if it wasn’t, there was no way she was leaving the house. Yes, there it was. But what if he came round, without phoning? No run. She needed to be here. Treadmill then. Maybe it would clear her head. Get rid of this strange, disjointed feeling. And kill some time.

As she pounded away on the running machine, she tried to think of anything but what Spike was doing right now. The Lake District trip. She’d need some new clothes. Walking boots, a snazzy waterproof jacket. And a big grin spread across her face as she remember whose name was at the top of the list, besides Professor Hartington. William Giles. Spike was coming too. Could this get any better? But heck, now she was thinking about Spike again. And why hadn’t he called?

~*~*~*~*~

That was it then. Bridges burned and all that. Spike felt a guilty kind of relief as he got back into his car. It was a weird feeling. Freedom. Made him feel kind of spacey. Cast adrift. He looked back at the house, noticing that the car wasn’t on the drive. No parents. Didn’t like leaving her by herself. No telling how she was going to be when she came out of it. He looked up at her bedroom window, wondering what to do, and she was there, staring out at him. He held her gaze for a few seconds, looked away, looked back and she was still there. Her expression was unreadable but there was something in it that gave him goosebumps. He shivered and tore his gaze away. Now he was worried. What if she did something stupid? He was halfway out of the car when her parents arrived.

Thank god He walked over to the driver’s side as Dru’s dad parked up. “Dan. I need to talk to you.”

“Hello Spike.” Dru’s dad gave him a friendly wave as he got out of the car. “Long time no see.”

“Uhh, yeah, look Dru’s inside. She not too well. Make sure you look in on her.”

Dan’s face fell. “I see, is it...?”

“Fraid so. Look I’m sorry Dan. I did what I could. Moira.” He nodded as Dru’s mother got out of her side. She eyed him coldly.

“I thought I told you not to come round here.” She pointed a finger at him. “I blame you for this William.”

“Come on dear,” Dan took his wife’s arm. “The lad’s done his best.” He turned and nodded to Spike. “We’ll look after her, don’t worry. Pop round tomorrow, eh?”

“No!” Moira turned on Spike. “You are not welcome here, just leave my baby alone.”

Bloody, fucking hell. Spike clenched his jaw to stop himself answering . Why was she always blaming him for Dru’s problems? The last thing he wanted was to get into a slanging match with Mrs. Harris. He turned and stomped back to his car, stopping for a last look at Dru’s window. She was still there and this time he could see her expression quite clearly. She was smiling.

He went straight to the supermarket and bought a large bottle of bourbon and some smokes. Then he went home and got mind numbingly drunk. By five o’ clock he was out cold on the couch, phone in one hand, bottle in the other. The phone rang twice but he didn’t hear it. It slipped from his fingers and clattered onto the floor. The remainder of the bourbon tipped over at some point and soaked the front of his tee-shirt. In his dream he was being pulled in two by an angel and a devil. And neither of them were about to let him go.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy had been determined to let him call her, but by five o’clock she still hadn’t heard anything. She must have picked up the phone a dozen times, then put it down again. Just after five, her fingers were dialling his number of their own accord. She couldn’t have stopped them if she’d tried. There was no answer. By half past five she was dialling again. Still nothing. There was only one W. Giles in the phone book. She scribbled down the address and got out her A to Z of the area. It was only a few blocks away he’d said. Her finger moved over the map. There it was. Now she knew where he lived. The hard bit was going to be stopping herself from going over there. What if Dru was still there? A sudden image of a carousel flashed into her mind. The one her parents had hired for her sixth birthday party. Waiting for it to stop, jumping impatiently because she wanted the kids to get off so she could have another turn. Pushing the little girl off the gaudily painted horse because she wasn’t getting down fast enough. Then jumping smugly onto the horse and sticking her tongue out at her. “Gonna get you Buffy,” the girl had cried as she ran to her mom. “You stole my best toy. Gonna get you.”

Buffy shook her head to clear the image. Time to eat something -she was so hungry she was almost hallucinating. That wasn’t a nice memory at all. The carousel horses had given her horrible nightmares, which she still had occasionally. Only now Drusilla was in the mix. She felt like she was waiting for Drusilla to get off, so she could get on. It suddenly seemed so cynical, with poor Spike in the middle. She placed the phone back in it’s cradle. He’d ring when he was good and ready. Like he’d said. She had to trust him on that.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike woke up just after eight o’ clock. He lay still for a few moments, waiting for the room to stop spinning, then he staggered to the bathroom and threw up. Man, he’d been stupid.

He smelled like a brewery and the bourbon bottle was alarmingly empty. He hadn’t drunk it all, had he? Peeling off his clothes, he stepped into the shower and washed off the nauseating smell. Somewhere, in the back of his pounding brain, there was something he had to do. As he towelled himself dry, he saw the phone lying on the floor. Christ, Buffy, she’d be waiting for his call, and it was half- past -eight. He slicked back his wet hair. Where did the day go? Throwing on a pair of sweatpants, he picked up the phone and remembered the card she’d given him. It was in his duster pocket, which was on his bed. He rummaged around in all the pockets, wondering where it had gone, but not giving it too much attention. Directory enquiries would have it. He punched in 192.

That done, he lay back on the bed and dialed Buffy’s number. This afternoon he couldn’t have imagined wanting to see her so soon. Had his speech all worked out. How he needed a little time to adjust to things. But right now, that all seemed like a load of bollocks. He was free. And he really wanted to see her. Okay, he wasn’t exactly in the mood for love, and probably wasn’t capable of anything more than a cuddle. But boy, did he need that cuddle right now. This was the awkward bit. Going from one girl to the next. He was always going to look the villain in this, but heck, this was what they both wanted. Why waste time waiting?

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