Here and Now

Summary: This is loosely based on "About of Boy" and "Someone Like You"... Oh and it's completely AU, no demons, or witches, everyone's human. Oh, and two of our main characters have a slight case of split personality... Lots of odd pairings. Hope you have fun reading.

"Damn it, William! Can't you understand?! I don't want to be here! I hate this place, this life, and most importantly, you. You make me sick. You and the girl!" Drusilla yelled.

"Dru, love, just put down the knife, okay? Let's talk about this, okay?" He said as he stepped closer.

"Dru, please- " But he was cut off by her battle cry. She then lunged at him, cutting him on his left eyebrow. He stumbled backwards as blood started to flow freely into his eye.

She appeared so cool and calm, and then the bitch just left me there. Always knew the bint was off her nut, but that was just bleeding insane. Should've known better when she named our daughter Dawn when she was born at sunset. But I loved her all the same.

She was the most beautiful baby. With swirls of brown hair and her big blue eyes... You know, she never was a problem as a baby. Always quiet and docile, and never was collicky. That's why I couldn't understand. Dawn was only five months old when she abandoned us. She wanted to leave me, fine. We were just starting out after all. Maybe she wasn't ready. But even so, I'll never forgive her for leaving our little girl.

About a month after she left and after crying out useless buckets of salt; after I sunk into a hole of depression, I decided to make some changes. William needed to die, and I needed to leave- leave behind old memories and weakness. I first cut my hair real short, bleached it, destroyed all of my clothes... You see, William was a complete nancy boy- weak and didn't deserve to see another day. Maybe it was all a psychological thing, but it made me feel better. I had to be strong, for her. I haven't trusted another woman (well, emotionally anyway) ever since. Who needs all of that emotional baggage? I mean, how can you trust something that bleeds for five days straight and doesn't die?

I decided to move to America. California to be exact. You see, my family was already there. My father, Rupert Giles, has a business here. A book store. But now, he's going through some sort of a mid-life crisis. You know the usual, little red sports car, earring, twenty- nine year old girlfriend by the name of Anya. But, they've been together for two years now, and she's expecting. Kinda cute, actually. It's still weird though when your old man is with someone younger than you.

Then, there's my cousin/pseudo brother Wes. We grew up together. When he was four, his parents- my uncle and aunt, died in a car crash, so my father had him come live with me and my mum. We're the same age, 'cept I'm three and a half months older. We had a happy home, then twelve years later, mum died. Cancer got her. Dad waited until we went off to college, and then he was the first to leave to Cali. Then Wes went on to study law and left too. London, I mean. I stayed behind for awhile and met Dru and, well, let's not get into that. Anyway, Wes is working in a highly established law firm called Wolfram & Hart, but is going to leave soon with his live in girlfriend, Lilah and start their own firm, as partners. I wish them the best.

Me, well I've written two books, two big successes. One was an adaptation of my own life, mostly set around my past times in high school, my family and college called School Hard, the other, a collection of poems, alternating between elation and joy and hatred and anger. I called it My Angel and That BITCH. Guess who my inspirations were.

I consider myself to be pretty lucky. My Dad may be a little crazy but, he loves me with all of his heart. Sometimes the other kids in my class get kinda jealous of me. I mean, my dad is the youngest parent with a nine year old at age thirty- one, and he lets me stay up late sometimes at night and he has cool friends- Uncle Wes, Lilah, Anya, Angel, Aunt Willow and Uncle Xander... But sometimes, I get jealous of them. But of course, no one knows. Even though a few of their parents are divorced, they still have their mommies. I never had a mommy. Daddy says she died a long time ago, and never talks about her.

This one time though, I snuck into our attic and went through all of these old boxes until I found one with old pictures in it. There were some of Grandma and Grandpa Giles, Daddy and Uncle Wes when they were little kids, and one of this dark haired woman. She wasn't really smiling in the photo- it was more of a grin. There was no nam or date on the back, and there weren't anymore of her in the entire box. But there were some of me and the other half of the photo missisng. I guess mommy was in those.

I thought about asking Daddy about it, but he would probably get all angry and take it away. So I snuck it to my room and put it underneath the barbie bed in my barbie's dram house. He'd never look there.

Sometimes I'd wonder why Daddy never thought of marrying again. Oh sure he goes out on dates- lots of dates. But he never brings them home. I never meet these mystery women in his life. But he always tells me not to worry about it 'cause they're never of any importance. Surely at least one of them would be nice enough for me to meet? But then he gives me this look- ya know "it's the end of the discussion, young lady" look. 'Cept he never calls me young lady, it's either Nibblet, or Bit, or Dawn or Dawnie. I like it when he calls me Dawnie or Bit. It means he's in an especially good mood.

Then, he proceeds to explain how I have plenty of women in my life who can tell me the mysteries of being a yound girl. There's only three though. Aunt Willow, who's more like a friend than the motherly type, even though she has a son of her own. Jesse's fouf. Anya, who's too jealous to worry about anyone other than her or her baby. If Grandpa- sorry. He's going through this thingwhere he only wants me to call him Giles. I guess that's where dad gets it from. If anyone dares to call him William, he'll go totally crazy on them. He hates his name. "William Randal Giles indeed." he used to mutter to himself. Anyway, if Giles doesn't focus on Anya all the time, then she'll get all whiney and upset. Then there's Lilah. I don't think she likes kids, of any kind. She's nice, but doesn't really like to be bothered.

So, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. Well, not so much my hands as Uncle Wes. Surely he must know someone who can be a mom to me. Even if it's only for a little while. Well, it was a nice thought anyway. It's not that dad isn't enough, but I mean, who's gonna tell me things- woman things? Dad thinks almost all women are the devil, 'cept for us four. I tried to tell him this one time of this guy I sorta liked, then he said that boys were the devil too and to stay away from them. Another woman around the house wouldn't be so bad. Could it?

Ah, the calming lyrics of 'Lil Kim. She is the Queen Bitch indeed. A one woman show, just like me. Don't need 'em. Fuck 'em all. Figuratively speaking of course. Who can trust anything with a penis nowadays? I sure as hell don't.

Excuse me for sounding so bitter. Traumatic experiences can do that to you. My traumatic experience comes in the form of one Parker Abrams. Seven long years ago, but the memories are forever fresh in my mind. When young, innocent, ignorant Elizabeth Summers first went to college, she met charming, lying, evil, piece of shit upper classmen Parker. Offered to show her around campus and was all buddy buddy and "look at me, I'm mister sensitive" and his carpe diem bullshit. Yeah, he fooled her alright. Got her to throw away the old chastity belt and open her dimpled knees. What a stupid bitch. But then if it wasn't for her, I, Buffy, wouldn't be here today.

He stuck around for a couple of months, well two and a half to be exact. After he'd had his wicked way with her, he decided that he was bored and had thoroughly broken her in. Well, he did have a point. Elizabeth was so certain that they were in love and surely he wouldn't leave her? I mean, they were gonna get married and everything, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong! He broke up with her all the while with an infuriating smile on his lips and talking of how fun it was. She came to find out that the entire time, he was two timing her anyway. That lousy, son of a bitch! He had made a fool of her in front of everyone. Then, something inside of the normally good natured Elizabeth had changed...

First the hair went. She hacked off the long golden locks so that it barely came past her jaw. She dyed it from honey brown to a nice Californian blond. Then, she thought long and hard about her next actions, and decided it was for the best. Late that night, she found his "precious baby," his 1952 Jaguar roadster. Custom colored. First, the potato up the tail pipe, then a little slash and dash to all four tires, then she carved "Fuck You Bitch" on the hood, and then two pounds of sugar into the gas tank. Nobody saw her. Though god knows he tried to blame her for it. Came the very next day to her dorm room shouting and cursing her name.

I opened the door wide and openly glared at him and spat at him with as much venom as I could muster.

"Elizabeth doesn't live here anymore, you selfish fuck!" and promptly slammed the door in his face. That day, Buffy was born. I never felt so free in my life! God, it was liberating.

Ever since then, no serious relationships. I learned that from my girl Faith, and of course, 'Lil Kim. Fabulous women them both. If I see a guy I like, I might screw him, but not before he goes down on me. Only if he's really good I'll actually have sex with him. And of course, I'll never go down on them. They bow before me, never the other way around. Then Faith had to go screw everything up and get into a real relationship. Some tall, chocolately goodness named Robin Wood (how fitting, well according to Faith). That just left me and Cordy. Lilah had been out of the game for a while now. She was all nesley with Wesley. Not like I care. As far as I'm concerned, all guys are pricks. Hell, even my dad is a selfish bastard. No matter. I always get what I want.

"Dawnie, sweetheart. How are you?" Wes said with a large smile. Geez, looks like his face is gonna split Dawn thought.

"Fine Uncle Wes. Daddy didn't tell you I was coming over, did he?" When I said that, he finally dropped the act and turned into his normal, solemn, yet nice self.

"No, he didn't. How is your old man these days?" He asked, gesturing for me to take a seat.

"The usual. That is until my friend Vi told him how wicked his scar looked and asked how he got it. She was supposed to stay over the weekend but, now he's all 'Grrr.' But, if you're busy, you could always send me over to Gramps."

"No, you can stay here. I'll have a talk with your dad later. You know, if Giles heard you call him that, he'd blow a gasket." He said with a slight grin.

"Yea, I know. But actually Uncle Wes, I was wondering something..." I asked in my best innocent little girl voice. Could always get to a Giles man, well Uncle Wes being half a Giles and growing up in a Giles house hold and... whatever.

"What's on your mind? You can ask me anything." As long as it's not about sex he thought wearily.

"Well, I was wondering if you could get my dad to go out on a date. Ya know, someone nice and smart and likes kids." Also mommy material.

"Dawn, you know your dad already goes out on dates- lots of them..." Spike is such a man whore. It's a surprise he hasn't caught something already he thought.

"No, I mean, that's true but, maybe someone who could last, oh say, more than a day?" Wes regarded me carefully for a moment. He nodded his head more to himself than me. I think he was finally getting my point.

"Dawn, I understand completely how you feel. But at least you have one parent, who loves you more than life itself. I was lucky after losing my parents. I had Giles and your grandma Anne. She became a mother to me, and then I lost her too."

"That's alright. It was a long time ago. But as far as your father, well- you know how stubborn he is, and he doesn't trust women, you know, at all."

"I know. But see, the thing is, you aren't supposed to tell him." I said, giving him a conspirital wink wink.

"Of course. You can't have a course of action without a plan." I said with a triumphant smile.

"I don't know, Wes. I mean Spike gets kind of crazy when people interfere with his affairs. Especially if it involves Dawn, his emotions or his cock." Lilah said nonchalantly as she flipped through a magazine on their king size bed.

"Thank you, Lilah. However darling, me and Dawnie have come up with a nearly full proof plan."

"Yes well, as you know, my birthday is coming up. I thought perhaps we could have a party- a little celebration for my thirty- first."

"But Wes sweetheart, you absolutely detest parties for yourself involving more than two people- you know, just you and I?"

"Well, we can have our own private party afterwards. I just don't want to see her so sad. I know what it's like. And if having a party will somehow spare her from the pain if Spike is actually happy, then I'll do it." He said as he sat down next to her. She then sat up and embraced him in a tight hug.

"Oh baby, that's terribly sweet of you. If we ever had a kid, you'd probably spoil the brat rotten."

"I'll have you know that no child of mine will be a brat, of any kind." He said in mock defense.

"Shut up!" she said, playfully whacking him upside the head. "So, what's your plan?"

"Well, I was hoping you could invite some of your friends. I don't really know of anyone suitable."

"Fine then. My two very much available friends I shall invite are Buffy and Cordelia."

"A female version of Spike minus the kid and a brunette prima donna? Sure. They'll be perfect for each other. Well, once they get over themselves anyway. Buffy contrasting with Angel's broodiness and Cordy's enormous boobs for Spike." Wesley looked at her with a skeptical expression marring his features.

"You're actually throwing Wes a party this time? Geeze, what happened to his usual 'kinky sex fest' present? Run out of ideas?" Buffy asked.

"No, that comes later. And you should know by now that our lives is nothing but a sex fest. Especially in the board meeting rooms when everyone else goes home at night." Lilah said with a sly grin.

"Eww! Can we say too much information? Just glad I don't have to work there." Cordelia said.

"Yea, like it matters. You have ridden in the back seat of Lilah's car, haven't you? I'm sure those special blue police lights could find plenty of happy juice back there." Faith said. They were having their weekly get together at a restaurant called Tres Bien. Sure the name was lame, but the food was to die for.

"Anyway, Faith. Ladies, you are all invited, and those of you who are single, please do not bring a date. There will be very much available salty goodness to go around." Lilah said.

"Is that right? What makes you think Cordy and I, since we are the only two available ladies sitting here, would be interested in the least?" Buffy said quizically.

"Well, think of it this way: you won't be tied down for the evening and also by not having a date, you can keep your options open. Believe when I say it is well worth it." Lilah said.

"Whatever. Couldn't hurt to have a little fun, right? I mean, it's not like I have any real plans for... when is it?" Cordelia asked.

"Next weekend. Since his birthday is the Tuesday after that, I thought it would be best to not have it on a working day. I mean, for those of us who actually work." Lilah said, looking pointedly at Buffy.

"Hey, just cause my dad still gives me a hefty allowance, don't be all bitchy to me." Buffy said.

"Yea, well, just please bring your gracious self okay? And please, no scandals, okay? So Faith in layman's terms, that means to not hump Robin anywhere in or around my house. Got it?" Lilah said.

"Well you know, it kinda takes the thrill out of it if you expect it coming." Faith retorted.

"So, who are the hotties? And don't play games, Lilah. You better not be trying to dump some ugly and or dorky losers on us." Cordelia said.

"No, they're pretty hot. Subject numero uno- Angel. He's tall dark and handsome to a T. The other, is Spike."

"Spike? What, is the name compensating for something or what?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"How would I know? But I'm thinking no. He's English, and he's got some sort of punk rock meets Goth kind of style. But he pulls it off in a very hot and sexy way."

"Yeah right! It's just that every guy I come across don't really interest me. Either intellectually lacking or sexually lacking. Sometimes both. Trust when I say being alone is the only real alternative." Cordy said in a huff.

"Well, maybe next Saturday will be your lucky day." Lilah said. In truth, she was hoping they both wouldn't run off screaming when they heard that both eligible bachelors had kids. Work, work, work. All my life in one way or another. She thought. But, it was for Wes. If it made him happy, she would gladly do it.

"I said, birthday party. What part didn't you understand?" Wes said, very much irritated. He came to Spike's home personally to inform him of the gathering. He had his own key and let himself in that Friday at eight p.m. Big mistake. Evidently, he was entertaining some leggy red head. Dawn was at a friend's house. Being very much put out, Spike told the red head very bluntly to leave. He then decided to blame his hormonal frustrations on Wes. As if it was his fault Spike couldn't get laid. He didn't tell the bird to leave. He did. Wanker.

"Hey, no need to get snippy now. Want a drink?" He said, heading towards the kitchen, clad only in his jeans.

"Some Jack it is, then. So a party, eh? What happened to you and Lilah's lil' S&M session?"

"Calm down, mate. Only rufflin' your feathers. I don't haveta bring a present, do I?"

"Oh, come on, you know me better than that surely? Course I'll get you something. Whaddya want? Red, blonde, brunette- oh, already got one of those." Spike said smirking at him. Any outsider would think that they didn't like each other. But it was nothing more than friendly banter between two "brothers." Wesley laughed quietly at the thought.

"You know, Lilah would have your stones on a platter if she heard you talking to me getting another woman. One night stand or no."

"Yeah, then she'd come along and Lorraina Bobbin your crown jewels right after." Spike said. Wes nodded in agreement.

"Now, now. You know he's going through these changes. Bloke'll feel all left out if you don't invite 'im. Besides, more gifts for you, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure he'll fit in fine. He and Anya will be fine." Wes said not at all too surely.

Angel decided, although reluctantly, to go to Wes' celebration. He would have much rather have stayed at home with Connor, or even finish some of his work. He wasn't really a people person. But, Wes was his best friend after all. He would stay for the dinner and two drinks max, then go back home, alone. Men like him didn't deserve happiness of any sort anyway. His son and his work was his life, and nothing more.

He started feeling that way three and a half years ago, when he lost her. Darla, the love of his life. They were so happy together. The three of them, all smiles and sunshine. Now it's mostly darkness. It's amazing how all of that can be ripped away from you in an instant. One afternoon, they were out for a family drive. Nowhere in particular, just out, enjoying the pleasant weather. Not too hot, not too cool. There was a nice breeze about. The day was perfect; too perfect.

Darla sat in the passenger side and Connor was sleeping peacefully in his car seat in the back. She had the window down. She wanted to feel the breeze wash over her. He stopped at a red light on one of the side streets. That's when it happened. A man came from nowhere and reached inside of the car, trying to reach Darla's purse. She in turn, though in shock, roughly pushed him back in reflex. It all happened so fast. He was about to switch gears and pull away from the maniac, but then...

"You fucking dirty bitch!" he yelled. Then out of nowhere, the bastard pulled a gun on them and shot her in the chest. He smiled at Angel, he actually smiled at him before he grabbed the purse and ran off. He couldn't believe it was happening to him, to them, in broad fucking daylight.

"Darla, baby, Darla? Darla?!" His wife was staring blindly at the ceiling, but she was still alive. He drove as fast as he could, nearly getting into a head on collision to the hospital. He remembered sitting in that waiting room, rocking Connor in his arms. He was still asleep, but he thought he'd go insane if he did nothing.

A little while later, one of the surgeon's came out and told him that the bullet was lodged in a place they couldn't get too. In fact, they weren't even going to try until she had a blood transfusion and because of her weakened state. They let Angel in to see her, and she smiled weakly up at him lovingly. I gently grasped her hand. Her eyes were unwavering as she said "I love you so much. Take care of our baby. He's the best thing we've ever done." Then she started convulsing as he screamed for help. Before anyone got there, she was already gone...

After Darla's death and burial, Angel went out on a full out vigilante mission. He would never forget that son of a bitch's face until he was dead, by his own hands. The police were doing all they could, which meant they weren't doing a damn thing and didn't give a damn. Another senseless mugging, another senseless killing. But that was okay for Angel. He had his own plans for the thing that ruthlessly murdered his wife, and it had nothing to do with a jail cell. Eight and a half months after his wife's murder, he found him. Daniel M. Holtz. Unfortunately for Angel, he found him in a bar, with lots of people around. Of course, that didn't stop him from attacking him and nearly bludgeoning him to death with a pool stick and breaking his back with just his foot. It took three guys to pull him away. When Holtz was done recuperating, he went to trial for murder in the first and was convicted one year later. Turns out Angel wasn't the only one missing a loved one at the hands of Holtz. He was put away for a long time and wouldn't be up for parole until about, a good five decades. Justice was served, but Angel's broodiness remained.

The stupid police actually tried to accuse him for manslaughter. That filth would have deserved it. No matter. Wes got him off. He met him at his uncle's bookstore one day and he mentioned being a lawyer. He never thought he would actually need one one day. Well, not for criminal reasons, anyway. But some good did come of the whole ordeal. He started Angel Investigations with two of his friends, Fred and Gunn. Other people deserved their proper justice too.

He knew that his best friend Wes only had good intentions for him, and that he only wanted to get him out more. Angel decided to appease him this time and hoped that would keep him off his back for a little while about his lack of social life. Maybe he'd get lucky and disappear into the shadows...

"Really, anything would be fine, sweetheart! Whatever it is, I'm sure Wes won't have any problem with it!" Xander shouted back. Ah, sweet, eager to please Willow. He loved her more than life itself. It only took for her to ogle some guitarist like a lost puppy for him to realize that she was the woman for him. They had always been together, since childhood. Willow always had a crush on him, and they dated for like two seconds in the fifth grade. But, in high school, she was just, well, Willow: best friend, study buddy, an escape from frequent arguments between his parents, his gal pal, buddy. He always loved her, but he truly fell in love with her senior year. He was her first and only, but he had experienced the touch of another.

Faith, wild child, dark eyed beauty. In the "other crowd" at school. She was very much experienced and overtly horny at the time. She needed a ride after work one day, and he happily obliged, in more ways than one. Of course, he never told Willow of the incident, it would crush her. She thought they were each other's firsts. He wished. He had to always be gentle and kind; with Willow, it was always making love. Sometimes, he just wanted raunchy sex, but he wouldn't dare bring it up. How could he? It would be like, some sort of weirdo betrayal somehow.

They tied the knot right after graduation. At first, it was kind of strenuous because Xander wasn't going to college, but it actually turned out for the best. Starting out small on a construction site, he was now big business- head foreman. Life was sweet. They had a little boy, Jesse, who he adored. Dark hair and dark eyes, a jokester like his dad. He had his mother's sweet smile and friendly disposition. Oh, and he was terribly brilliant. He knew the boy would make him real proud someday. But now, onto the party, have some drinks, and some supposedly adult conversation. Yuh huh. Thank god Spike would be there to liven things up a bit.

Instead of bringing something silly like a paper weight or a tie, Spike brought something that Wes would really appreciate: a bottle of Dom Perignon. He would have bought some Cristal, but he did have a certain someone's college fund to worry about. Noticing that there weren't too many other cars out on the block, he walked up the steps and rang the bell.

"Spike, you didn't bring a date? How shocking." Lilah said in mock surprise as she let him in.

"Oh come, now. Know I like to keep my options open. Don't need anyone tying me down." He said as he handed her the bottle.

"No. Angel's out back. I guess he figured if he arrives first, he can leave first. Wes is still getting dressed." Spike nodded and headed towards the back. He found Angel out there alone, nursing a beer.

"Well, well. You actually came. Bet if it was my party, you would've stayed at home, all broody." Spike said as he sat down next to him.

"I'm not staying long. Work, ya know. Never ends." He said as he looked at his friend. Though as of late, it was kind of difficult. Spike was so out going; the proverbial social butterfly. But the only reason their friendship truly remained was because the loneliness in Angel got along with the lonely alter ego buried deep within Spike- William. Though their losses weren't the same, it still hurt just as much.

"Come on, Angel. This is a celebration. So let's celebrate." Spike said as he slapped him on the shoulder.

"I am, Spike. See? I've already got my drink." Angel said as he held up said bottle.

"Yea, well, 'you're never fully dressed without your smile.'" He said, smirking at him. Angel quirked an eyebrow before responding.

"Well, ya know. Dawn and her damn tapes. I swear I've got PBS' lineup memorized for the whole soddin' week." Spike said as he got up to get a beer for himself at the cooler.

"You didn't bring anyone?" Angel questioned when Spike came back to the table. Spike gave a long, exasperated sigh.

"Bloody hell. Come on, you know I like to be available if there's gonna be pretty women around."

"Spike, have you ever considered slowing down? I mean just a bit?" Spike pretended to mull this over in his mind before answering him.

"Well, Angel. I dunno. Call me old fashioned, but what's wrong with living in sin? I mean, look at you. You don't plan on being a monk for the rest of your life, do you?"

"Alright, alright." Spike said as he held up his hands in mock surrender. He knew when to back off. Just then, Xander and Willow entered through the back door.

"Hey guys! How's it goin?" Willow said cheerfully. Angel and Spike smiled at her in turn. It was hard to ever be sad around Willow. Xander nodded at the two men before pulling up a chair for his wife at the table.

"Yea, cause I did all my homework and cleaned my room like a good boy before I left." Xander joked back as he sat down.

"Oh, Xander, Spike. You two are so silly. Angel, it's good to see you. You're looking well." Willow said in a bubbly tone.

"Well, some of Lilah's lot and Giles and Anya." Spike said, taking a healthy swig short after.

"Really? Well this is definitely going to be an interesting evening." Xander said as he rose from his chair to get Willow and himself a drink. What he didn't know was how much of an interesting evening it was going to be...

"God, Cordy. I just don't see why we had to show up together. You're a grown as woman." Buffy groused as they approached the front door.

"Buffy, just because I didn't bring a date doesn't mean that I have to show up all alone like some loser. Besides, you shouldn't be complaining cause we all know how much of a sucky driver you are. You're gonna need someone sober to drive you home. And if you vomit in my car, I'll have to kill you." Cordelia said as she rang the bell.

"Cordy, you know I'd never damage your lil' red Corvette. And hey! I'm not as bad a drinker as you're trying to make me out to me." Buffy said, a little put out by the fact that she thought she wasn't a responsible drinker.

"Yea right! You totally go all cave woman when you drink too much!" Cordelia retorted. Just then Lilah opened the door, all smiles and false cheerfulness at having all of those people in her home when it just should've been her and Wes having mind blowing sex.

"Ladies. Welcome to our humble abode." She said as she let them in. Cordelia sported a horrified expression on her face.

"Oh god! Where is everybody? We can't be fashionably late if we're the first ones here!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"Yes, he is. But if anyone's hitting Wes it'll be me and you know it. But hey, those two hotties I mentioned are out there. How's bout you two go take a looksee?" Lilah said as she walked away, heading towards the back. Her two friends followed.

The first thing Spike noticed was the huge knockers on the leggy brunette. Her short, tight burgundy dress showed off all of her curves. Then the fiery blonde came swaying in right behind her in her form fitting red halter dress and four inch heels. They both screamed sex.

"So many treats. Which to feast upon first?" Spike muttered to Angel. Angel of course ignored the innuendo and listened attentively as Lilah introduced Cordelia and Buffy. He had to admit they were pretty, and they also came dateless. Huh. Wes always was a tricky son of a bitch.

The first thing Buffy noticed was the shockingly white blond hair out at the table. God, what was this guy thinking when he decided to bash himself in the head with a bottle of peroxide? Buffy thought. Then she observed the rest of the package and decided that he was sexy as hell. Then she noticed the brunette man with the goofy expression on his face, looking as if he were going to drool up a pool of saliva. To his right was a smiling red head woman with kind eyes, and next to the peroxide guy another brunette man with sad, soulful eyes. He was cute, but seemed like he would be awfully lame. Hmm. Cordelia can have him she thought. She wanted to test out the blond, salty goodness. Wes, standing by the table of party guests, politely waved to the two as they came to their seats.

"Here we go." She whispered to Cordelia as all kinds of naughty thoughts did a marathon in her mind.

Spike was well aware of the hot blond eyeing him. He knew exactly what that look meant: sex. He found it quite interesting, actually. Usually, women weren't so bold with him. He kind of liked it. He decided to give her "the look" right back. When he did, she smiled slyly at him before getting up from her seat.

"Excuse me for a moment, everyone. I have to go to the ladies." She said casually. No one really noticed excepted for him. Everyone was engrossed in some story Red was tellin' about... something. Two minutes after she went into the house, Spike exited also. His blood was pumping in anticipation at the idea of her waiting for him in the loo. Unless of course, he read her signals wrong? Nah, he wasn't wrong. The bint definitely wanted him. Spike crept up the stairs and slowly opened the bathroom door. The lights were off.

"Hey, luv. You in here- " Spike was suddenly cut off by shock as he was slammed against the bathroom wall.

*************

Lilah had noticed that the bleached duo had left the party. She wasn't sure she should go see what they were up to and walk in on something she'd never want to witness or to just wait until they came back and pretend as if nothing at all occurred between them somewhere in her home. She decided that ignorance was much more blissful. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Oh, I'll get it, sweetheart." She said as she smiled at Wes. *Well, at least he seems to be enjoying himself* she thought.

"Lilah! We are very much pleased that you have invited us to your humble abode for a free meal and drinks which I can not consume. How are you?" Anya said, all glowy and full of cheerfulness. Giles just nodded his head in greeting.

"I'm fine, Anya. And how are the two of you?" She asked as she stepped aside to let the couple in. The sight of them together was odd, yet endearing as she watched them hold hands. They seemed to be genuinely in love. *Hmm, maybe Anya isn't apart of his mid-life crisis after all* she thought.

"Hey everyone!" Anya shouted, interrupting Willow's tale of... something incredibly boring. No one knew for sure exactly what it was about, but looked interested for the sake of being nice. Willow quickly covered up her slightly annoyed look with Anya and quickly put on one of her trademark smiles.

"Anya, Giles! Glad you all made it! How was your trip?" Wes said enthusiastically, thankful for the reprieve.

"Very sweet. My new car was all smooth sailing." Giles said all smiles. That car made him really happy. Anya's pregnancy could testify to that. Giles walked over to his nephew and gave him a strong pat on the back.

"Happy birthday, Wes. May you have many more and all that rot." Giles said as he handed Wes a a medium sized bag.

"Oh, Rupert, we were going to do presents later when-" Lilah started in protest.

"Oh, bullocks. Everyone should be able to open up one present before all the others, isn't that right, old chap?" Giles said as he took out a cigarette. Anya quickly took it away and put it in her purse.

"Hey, give that back!" Giles yelled.

"God, stop being such a baby. I refuse to let my baby have little black lungs before it even has the chance to be born yet, Rupert." Anya retorted before she sat down with the others. Giles shrugged it off and sat down next to her and said hello to the guests. Then he noticed someone was missing.

"So Wes, is Spike here yet, or is he shaggin' off his willie somewhere?" Giles asked (completely unaware of the inappropriateness of the question) as Wesley covered his face in partial embarassment at his oddball family.

***********

"Hey!" Spike yelled at the silent figure that roughly accosted him.

"Hey yourself. Didn't think you'd come. Then again, I bet someone like you could probably make me come all night. Am I wrong?" Buffy whispered huskily in his ear as she cupped his erection, which seemed to be deflating by each passing second. Her attack and directness put him threw a loop, and she was scaring the hell out of Spike jr.

"What's wrong? You don't seem too happy to feel me." Buffy said in a huff as she pulled herself off of him.

"Nothing- you just, startled me is all." Spike said, willing his erection to come back completely. He was irritated at the situation, yet also terrified. How could he, self proclaimed stud, lose an erection before cumming? *This is bloody awful* he thought ruefully.

"Ugh, whatever. I don't have time to play games, little man." She said as she began to exit the bathroom.

"Hey wait! Where are you going?"

"Back to the party, cause right now, that dull story that Wilma or whatever was telling seems a helluva lot more interesting then what's obviously not going on between you and me." She said as she stomped off. Spike turned on the bathroom light and splashed water on his face. He looked at his reflection for a moment before looking down and exclaiming," Hey! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!"

**************

Buffy fled down the stairs as fast as she could. Fuck! That never happened before! How could she possibly make a guy lose an erection? What the hell was wrong with her? All that little scene did was bring up past uglies of how she wasn't good enough. Stupid Parker. Stupid bleached idiot. Maybe Lilah was wrong. Maybe that Spike guy really was gay.

When she got to the table, she was introduced to some chick named Anya and the infamous Giles. *Gee, what a stellar guest list* she thought ruefully. Where the hell was Faith? She desperately needed to get her mind off of her current misfortune.

"Hey, did anything happen between you and the hottie?" Cordelia whispered to her.

"Nuh uh. I never kiss and tell." She whispered back before taking a large gulp of her drink. As the raspberry Smirnoff burned her throat, she began to feel much, much better. Just then, the doorbell rang once again. By then, Lilah had dropped the facade of false cheerfulness, muttered an "oh, hell" and went to answer the door. As Lilah left, Spike entered. He tried to glance at Buffy, but she quickly turned her head and took another large gulp of her vodka, ignoring Cordelia's subtle protest of slowing down a bit.

"Spike, dear lord are you sick?" His father questioned.

"Yea, you look really flushed. If you are sick, could please sit further away, ya know, from me?" Anya asked.

"I'm fine, really. Just, a little warm is all." He responded noncommittally. Angel, Wes and Xander eyed him warily. They knew that something utterly terrible had happened in the last ten minutes.

Just then, the duo following behind Lilah interrupted them from their concerned thoughts.

"Everyone, this is Robin Wood and- " Lilah started.

"Harris, is that you? Hey, it's me, Faith!" She exclaimed. Xander felt the sudden urge to pass out just then. Instead he looked at his loving wife and smiled tryingly at her confused expression.

TBC

No Silent Night

"Willow, please. I'm sorry, really. Can we just talk about this?" Xander pleaded through the bedroom door of their home. Willow had given him the silent treatment all the way home, then proceeded to give him a pillow and a blanket for the couch, and locking the bedroom door behind her.

"Xander, go to sleep. You have work in the morning, and I have... things to do. So go away."

"Hey, maybe I'll take the day off tomorrow? We gotta talk about this, Wills."

"No. Besides, Dawn's visiting tomorrow, and I'd prefer if you weren't here so she won't see me mad at you. Now go away before you wake up our son. Then I'll be really pissed off." Xander contemplated saying something else to his irate wife, thought better of it, and went to the bathroom to change into his bed clothes. Though he knew for a fact that he wouldn't be getting much sleep at all.

************

The Morning Hangover

Buffy woke up with a terrible headache and tried to account for last nights events. Besides the Spike incident, everything afterwards seemed kind of hazy. All she knew for sure was that she had an extreme guilty feeling lurking in the back of her mind for god knows what. She popped some aspirin and called Cordelia to find out the damage she'd done.

"What?!" Cordy yelled into the phone, purposely. Buffy pulled back her cordless and winced.

"Geez, Cordy. Was I really that bad?" She asked meekly.

"Ugh, yea. You know, I warned you- repeatedly I might add, and yet you ignored. God Buffy, you made me look bad!"

"You? How did I-"

"The mere fact that I'm associated with you, especially by us coming together... You were drunk and- I've never been more ashamed and embarrassed and-"

"Okay, alright. I get the picture." Buffy said as she flopped back onto her pillows. "What'd I do?"

"Not what you did, what you said. You ripped that Willow chick to shreds. I mean, even though we all knew it was true, you never say things like that out loud. Ugh, gotta go. Talk to you later." Click. Buffy couldn't believe it. One of her best friends just hung up on her! How could she? *Well, only one thing to do.* she thought. *Gotta make amends.* She took another couple of aspirin and dialed up Lilah.

"Yes, Buffy?" Lilah asked impatiently. Buffy began to feel worse as the seconds ticked away.

"Uh, Lilah, I know you're probably all mad at me, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You haveta forgive me, please?"

"What? Oh, yeah, whatever. Look, I'm kinda busy right now." She said. Buffy could hear Wesley mumble something in the background.

"Oh, well uh... I need a quick favor. What's Willow's address and phone number?"

"What, are you fucking insane? Why'd I give that to you?"

"Because I want to apologize personally to her. And besides, the quicker you give it to me, the faster you can get back to giving it to Wes."

"Well, I could always hang up."

"Then I'd just call back; repeatedly."

"I'd unplug the phone."

"Lilah, please! I have to make it up to this Willow person. I know I was a major bitch and all, and she may never forgive me, but I have to try! I was gonna get her a fruit basket and everything." She complained. Lilah sighed into the phone, gave Buffy the information, hung up, and got back to giving Wes one of his many birthday presents.

*************

Dawn could tell that Willow wasn't her usual cheerful self. So Dawn attempted to stay out of her way as much as possible and quietly played Game Cube with Jesse. Just when Willow seemed to be in a good mood again, the doorbell rang and mean Willow came out to play again.

"What the are you doing here?" Willow asked, more flabbergasted than angry as she looked at the blond haired woman with the insanely large gift basket.

"I've brought you fruit, and cheese, meat, tea, jam- "

"But what are you doing here? At my house?" Buffy hung her head in shame as she explained.

"I'm sorry. I came to apologize. You see, I'm a terrible drunk, and I often lash out at people for no particular reason. I just hope that... you accept said apology. If not, then please take this gift basket as a peace offering. It's just, I'm not typically a mean person, it's just, I was having a bad night, and I- I'm so sorry." She finished as she looked the red head in the eyes. Willow gave her kind, sympathetic eyes and actually invited her in.

"It's okay. I'm sure that one day, I'll look back on this and la- well, still feel pretty bad, but hopefully I'll be over it by then." Willow said as she placed the basket on the coffee table.

"Hey kids, this is Buffy. Buffy, this is Dawn and my son Jesse." Dawn pressed the pause button to get a better look at the newcomer. She looked nice and... tired.

"Hi. How do you know Willow?" Dawn asked from her seat on the floor.

"Oh, we met at this party." The kids looked at each other, shrugged, and continued to play their game. Willow motioned for Buffy to follow her to the kitchen.

"So, is that one of your son's friends, or is she one of those annoying kids that happen to miraculously live right next door to you? I was one of those." Buffy joked.

"Actually, she's sort of my niece. Well not by blood, but... She's my friend's daughter. I believe you met him?" Willow said as she motioned for her to have a seat.

"Oh, who?"

"Spike's."

TBC

"Um, Buffy? Are you alright?" Willow asked with a concerned tone, finally breaking Buffy out of her stupor.

"Oh, I'm fine, just..." Buffy couldn't believe it. He had a kid? A daughter? She's gotta be like ten or something. Just great. A guy she might actually get a chance to know and potentially like (which was definitely few and far between- if there ever was one) and now she had to deal with his kid's mother, the ex-wife or whatever. *Yay, Buff. You sure know how to pick 'em.* She thought wryly.

"Huh? No, no. Dawn's mom, um... She's gone." Willow decided on letting the blond decide on what she meant by that. She for one was not going to tell Spike's business. She hated seeing cranky Spike. Just as Willow suspected, Buffy face fell as she came to a conclusion that would leave Willow free and clear of much explanation.

"Shortly after Dawnie was born. Spike doesn't like to talk about it." Buffy merely nodded her head in understanding. Somehow, that tidbit of info made her want to get to know Spike more. Maybe even talking to his daughter. It was totally weird, but now she felt some sort of connection with the girl. She knew what it was like to lose a mother.

"Say, are you guys doing anything? I'd like to treat you all to ice creme or something." Buffy said with a smile.

"Ooh, great! I love ice creme, well, who doesn't? Except maybe those who are lactose intolerant." Willow said, returning the smile full force.

"Hey, they like it too. Just jealous they can't eat it like us." Buffy immediately stopped joking at the other's abruptly crestfallen face.

"Do you remember, anything of what you said yesterday? Specifically to me?" She asked as she looked anywhere but at Buffy.

"I'm sorry. I'm kinda drawing up blanks after that third or fourth drink. What'd I say?" She asked, uncertain of the change in events.

"I guess you're very perceptive when you're drunk." Willow said with a humorless laugh. "It doesn't matter. It's not important." She said, shrugging it off.

"No, it's very important. Willow, you seem like a nice person who's totally different from my other friends, and I'd really like to get to know you. If there's anyway I can fix this- I don't want what I did to stand in between us. Things like this can eat away at you and cause resentment and... how will we ever have a chance at having a proper friendship after that?" Buffy rambled. Willow exhaled loudly and decided to tell the tale, albeit not in so many words,

"It's just that, you like knew that Xander and I weren't- that he wasn't very happy with me... In the bedroom. He never says it, but I always assumed that... I don't wanna lose him Buffy. Last night, I wouldn't let him come into our room, because I was angry with him, which was covering the fact that I was angry with myself, which was double covering the fact that I was angry with you for ever mentioning such private things."

"No, it's okay. Can't really fix a problem if you never acknowledge it, right?" Buffy remained silent as she thought very carefully of what she was about to say next.

"You can play later, guys. Buffy here's gonna take us all out for a special ice creme treat!" Willow exclaimed. The instant smiles on the children's faces showed their consent.

"Hey, thanks lady!" Jesse exclaimed as he ran past them all to get his gym shoes.

"You're pretty nice for someone we've only just met. You're trying to buy our affection are you?" Dawn asked with an arch of her eyebrow, a smirk and a maturity beyond her years. Buffy gave her an amused look. She noticed how much the girl resembled Spike in that instant.

"Don't mind her. She's just Daddy's girl after all, aren't you Dawnie?" Willow said as she playfully tickled the girl's sides. The girl laughed in merriment before retrieving her shoes also.

"She's cute. I'm guessing the apple didn't fall too far from the tree, huh?" Buffy asked.

They all had a good time at the Rainbow Cone. The jokes, the ease in each other's company, Willow felt as if she had known Buffy her whole life, and vice versa. Everything was going smoothly until Jesse hopped out of his seat.

"Oh no you don't, mister. You know the rules." She said as she stood up, grasping his hand.

"In a public place. In a few years, I'll let you go alone." She said as she pulled him to the ladies room.

"Not really. Anything could happen to a little boy in a men's room. Safe and embarrassed is better than sorry and, I dunno, something horrible." Dawn said as she wiped her hands and face from the remnants of chocolate ice creme. Dawn shifted uncomfortably in her seat as the blond stared at her.

"Nothing, it's just... You're very interesting, if not peculiar. Not that that's a bad thing-"

"You're pretty 'peculiar' yourself." Dawn said with air quotes and a giggle. Buffy laughed with her.

"So, how's life?" Buffy asked. Dawn slightly scrunched up her face at the question.

"Is it fun? I mean, with only you and your dad?" Buffy didn't miss the girl's eyes light up.

"My dad? Oh, he's a blast! Plus, he's a real push over." Dawn said with a conspirator wink wink. "You should meet him. He's totally awesome." Dawn said with a smile.

"Oh, I have. He was at that party. He seems really interesting and... peculiar." Buffy said with a smile. *Oh my god!* Dawn thought. She couldn't believe her good fortune. Buffy was great, and she knew and *liked* her dad, well, as far as she could tell. Unless she was laughing at him- which, Dawn didn't think she was. She really like Buffy, and hoped that things would take a happy turn from there.

"Yes, he is. You should get to know him, I mean, us better. I bet we'd have lots and lots of fun." Dawn said with a big smile. *Just like a family.* She added to herself.

"And she's back." My sincerest apologies for the hiatus, but, well, there's really no explanation that can make up for my being neglectful. If you're still reading this, then please let me know and hit me up with a review. Even if it's like only two words. And to those of you who sent me emails to make an update, I thank you profusely.

Chapter Ten

Willow was in good spirits. Buffy was a blast to have around. She was actually quite down to earth once you got to know her. Evidently, Dawn thought so too. It appeared as if the two had known each other their whole lives. It was almost as if they had some sort of instantaneous connection, well, once the ice was broken. They couldn't stop laughing and talking and giggling at stupid things together. It was actually quite refreshing to see. She couldn't remember the last time Dawn laughing out loud like that. How unfortunate it would all have to end. Well, for Dawn at least.

She knew what type of man Spike was, and she knew that he'd be mightily P.O.ed at the idea of his daughter becoming overly familiar with some female who wasn't apart of their "inner circle." Especially one of which he planned on dating, screwing, whatever. Dawn never once met one of her father's "lady friends," and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now. But, it all seemed so unfair. If Buffy could actually succeed at making Dawn and Spike happy, then why not give it a chance? Of course, as soon as she heard the doorbell ring and saw Spike on her front porch, attempting to cover up his already surly mood, she knew the jig was up. She gave a quick glance to her couch where the two were before looking at Spike again. Her nervous look probably gave way to him that something not to his liking was happening, but his rigid stance at seeing his only child with Buffy sealed the deal. *Poor Dawnie.* She thought. If only he knew how truly lonely she was...

*****************

Spike was pissed. Really, really pissed. His agent gave him the bad news of how the publishers weren't too sure of his latest manuscript. Said it was lacking. They were vague and ambiguous about what the hell they waned. Didn't they think it would carry the same appeal as his previous books? Guess not.

"Bloody, stupid, bastards. Don't know a work of art if it were to bite 'em in the ass." He muttered to himself as he drove down the highway in his black Escalade, blasting the Ramones. He was in one of his two favorite cars (the other being his vintage DeSoto at home), playing one of his favorite CDs, and legally speeding down the asphalt. And still, he was mad as hell. *But,* he thought, *I have to get myself together. Wouldn't do any good to let Dawnie see her old man in a pissy mood.*

Dawn and he had an excellent father-daughter relationship. He hated her seeing him in an unpleasant mood. He was always quick to acquiesce her, giving her whatever she needed or wanted. Except in that one moment when he entered the Harris residence. He knew something was up from the nervous look Willow was giving him. He stepped inside warily, and then he saw her, all smiles, sitting in between the legs of one Buffy Summers while she played in her hair. It didn't take a genius to see how close they were becoming in under twenty-four hours. God, how he hated making the hard decisions. The last thing he needed was to see the two of them become close.

'It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'

*Hah! Sod that.* He thought to himself. Dawn deserved the best of everything. Especially after Dru... She didn't need someone else abandoning her, for whatever reason. Even if she didn't know it ever happened in the first place.

"Come on Dawn, I promise it'll be cute!" Buffy said with a giggle in her voice.

"Yea right! I can feel how stupid it's gonna look! Maybe I should do your hair." Dawn said in between laughs.

"Hey, Bit. Time to go." He said solemnly. The two raised their heads in sync with one another and looked at him. Dawn with a sudden look of disappointment at having to leave, and Buffy with one of surprise at his presence.

"Hey Spike." Jesse said from his spot on the floor, all the while not taking his eyes off of the television from his precious video game.

"Hey Spike. Just stopped by to say hello." Buffy said as she got up from her seat, walking towards him. Spike smiled lightly at her. He wasn't really paying attention, actually. He focusing on getting out of there as soon as possible, his mind screaming to Dawn "Hurry up!" every so often. It was a complicated situation that he wanted to avoid completely. But, the longer he stood in front of Buffy, the longer he'd have to talk to her- about his personal, family life. *Damn.*

"Didn't know you had a kid." She stated, still all smiles. Seemingly happy at the idea of him having a kid. *Yeah, right.*

"Oh, well, never came up, did it? And how bout you? I'm guessing no on the kiddie front?" He asked, trying to turn the conversation to personal information about her.

"Nah. But Dawn is totally cool. I'm so glad we met. So, we still on?" She asked happily.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sure." He said uneasily. Buffy glanced briefly at Dawn as she slowly put on her shoes before looking back at him.

"Well, Dawn and I were talking, and uh, we were wondering if the three of us could do something together?" Spike's eyes nearly popped out of his head at the seemingly innocent question. *What the bloody hell was she thinking?*

**************

Buffy wasn't that surprised at the look on Spike's face. In fact, she was kind of expecting it. But what could she do? It was all Dawn's fault; suckering her with her big, blue eyes and fast talking.

'Oh, come on Buffy! It'll be fun. We get to hang out again, and my dad'll have to pay for everything! I mean, we could like go out during the early day, and then if you really wanted some "grown up" time, though I mean, I don't see what the whole big deal is anyways, I could always come back here and hang with Jesse or something. Come on! Please, please, you haveta at least ask him. The worst that could happen is that he'll say no." She pleaded earlier with her.

Buffy had to admit, though, it certainly would be interesting. Dawn was fun, and Spike intrigued her. She had nothing to lose, really. She would like to spend time with them, that is, if Spike allowed it.

She could understand his being over protective. Really, she could. But she could identify with Dawn more. She knew exactly what it was like to grow up with out a mom. Hell, she didn't even have real friends until she went to college. Her dad always doted on her, giving her the best of everything, but never really any affection. Elizabeth was a lonely, only child. She would hate it if Dawn was subjected to the same fate as her. She liked Willow, and she liked the Giles'. Buffy definitely wanted to get to know them better.