“ I’ve tried everything that I can to get my heart to forget you, but it just can’t seem to.

I guess it’s just no use – in every part of me, there’s still a part of you.

I’ve still got your face painted on my heart, drawn upon my soul,

etched upon my memory, Baby. And I got your kiss still burning on my lips,

the touch of your fingertips are still so deep inside of me, Baby.

…Something in your eyes keeps haunting me.

I’m trying to escape you, but I know there ain’t no way to chase you from my mind…”

There was no sleep to be had this night. All he could think about was her. And how seriously he had cocked it all up in the space of a single evening.

Spike shook his head and drank from bottle number two for the night. The unfortunate thing was that he was seriously drunk – but not drunk enough. He was beginning to wonder if it was possible for him to ever get drunk enough to forget Buffy – even temporarily. He had his doubts. Possibly maybe, if he made it to the black out stage. He was more than willing to give it a go.

The problem was; everything they’d done that night was burned into his brain, and no amount of alcohol seemed to erase it. Whenever he closed his eyes he was set upon by vivid flashbacks. The way she’d first kissed him, like she was starving for him. How she’d wrapped her legs around him, scorching him with her heat. How he’d tasted her breasts, her flesh, the sweet wetness of her quim. Her hot little hands wrapped around his cock. Spike banged his head against the back of the battered easy chair, wishing for something harder – like cement maybe.

He tipped the bottle back for a deep draught. Not soon enough though. One after another – scenes of the night replayed in his head over and over and over - in screamingly torturous detail. Fuck, he could practically taste her right now.

He growled in frustration, grinding his fists into his eyes. But this only assisted him with picturing her naked breasts and the damp chestnut curls of her sex. His erection throbbed painfully.

“ And you!” he addressed it, eyeing it menacingly. “I’ve had it up to here with you. Look wha’ kinda trouble you get me into! Can’ think prop’ly when you’re around, y’ bastard.”

His penis paid him no mind, bobbing along jauntily – hard as ever. He took a series of long pulls from the bottle of Jim Beam then set it back in his lap, carefully avoiding his unbearably stiff prick. He scowled at it with disapproval.

“ Why don’t ya just slag off, ya waster!”

Normally the alcohol would have done it in by now, at least softened it up a little. But not tonight. Christ, he could polish diamonds with the thing! He was damn sick of looking at it, to tell the truth. Not to mention how bleedin’ uncomfortable it was. Only one thing for it then.

“ Right.”

Probably shoulda done it hours ago. Spike stood up unsteadily, bottle in hand. Then carefully made his way down to the lower level of his crypt.

Time for a good long wank.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy tossed and turned for the next hour, her mind filled with images of Spike. What they’d done together, what they could do – what she wanted to do. Something about him made her feel free, like she could ask for anything – do anything and it was all good. She could be anything she wanted to be in his presence. She’d already done things with him that very night that were way outside her realm of experience.

Buffy – made out like the world was ending in a graveyard with a vamp. She’d gotten pretty much naked in a public place and let him lick her and touch her and taste her – everywhere. And she didn’t give a damn. She didn’t care about anything in that moment but him, and how they made each other feel. It was as if the entire world ceased to exist outside the little erotic lust-bubble they occupied. And that was a dangerous thing – he was dangerous. Why was that so damn exciting?

Why did she get wet just thinking about him? It was so frustrating! He was the wrong guy! Couldn’t her body see that? Couldn’t her mind tell the difference between good guy and bad guy? She had a vivid flash of Spike on his knees in front of her. It made her shiver all over.

This was torturous. Why couldn’t it be Riley she felt this way about? He was a good guy.

Although, in all their many patrols he had never tried to do anything more than kiss her.

Not once. Riley liked his Love American-style – at home in bed, in the missionary position with the lights safely off. Buffy yawned unconsciously. Okay, so he wasn’t the most exciting guy in the world. But the sex was pretty good. Or at least she thought so until Spike came along…

“Errrg!”

She growled into the quiet night. Why did he have to come along anyway? Why didn’t she just stake his ass years ago? Then she’d be a happy little camper. Miss Normal 2000 with her college sweetie.

Bad Buffy Brain snarked sarcastically. She was really beginning to resent this little rebellion her mind seemed to be having.

“ I can always have you lobotomized you know.”

She flipped on to her belly moodily and promptly buried her head under her pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike stood in the cement shower stall of his crypt, cock in hand for what had to be the third time that day. He let the hot water beat down on him as his mind filled with images of Buffy. Only this time he didn’t have to make them up, he didn’t have to try to imagine what her body looked like. He had the real thing emblazoned on his brain. This was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that it made the wanking all the better, his mind could now provide him with a Technicolor, 3-D fantasy Buffy in vivid Scent-O-Rama. But a curse because he knew he would never forget it, never forget her – not ever. Probably not even after he was long dust and a permanent resident of Hell.

“Fuck me...”

He spluttered, realizing he would never be rid of her. That might have been said with more irony if he’d registered the fact that was exactly what he was about to do. But you’ll have to forgive him, he is quite horribly drunk.

He braced himself against the wall of his shower with one hand, preparing to go to town. There was no help for his mind; she already had a permanent hold of it. But he could do something for his body at least. The pathetic bit was that there was only one thing that would get him off right now – Buffy. Spike sighed and leaned his whiskey-heavy head against his outstretched arm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy flounced over on to her side irritably. Why did things have to be so complicated? She absolutely did not want to be having these feelings for him. For Spike, of all people! But God, the things he did! The way he touched her. No one had ever made her feel that way before, like she was lit up from the inside. She felt so…good …when she was around him lately.

All alive and juicy and desirable.

Riley never made her feel like that… No one did. Just Spike. And if she were really honest about it – he always kinda had. He’d gotten her going since the first night she met him. The way he talked to her, his cock-sure swagger. He’d sauntered into town like he owned the place and told her straight to her face he planned on killing her. It’d been one long bout of foreplay ever since. Only it took her till just now to realize it.

This was true, she admitted reluctantly. Sometimes, in bed with Riley – thinking about fighting Spike was the only thing that could get her off. And lately…well, lately she wasn’t just thinking about fighting him now was she? Her skin felt very warm suddenly. When she looked at it that way, thinking all the way back to the beginning – Buffy could see that this had been building for a while. Years even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike stroked steadily, eyes closed – remembering… The musky tang of her sex pressed up against his nose as his tongue was buried inside her… The searing heat of her hands wrapped around his cock, pumping it hard – squeezing it tight right at the head. Bloody perfect. He groaned her name huskily;

“Buffy…God, Buffy…”

Then his mind turned to everything he’d wanted to do to her – what he would have done this very night…if only. He would lay her out naked on his bed – licking, sucking and savouring every inch of her golden body. He would spread her legs and spend an hour between her thighs, exploring every satiny fold of her succulent quim. Making her come over and over until she couldn’t take it a moment longer.

“ Mmm – yeah…”

And then - what she would do to him. She would kneel before him and take his full length in her mouth. Sucking it from the base to the head, then swirling her tongue around the tip as she pulled it from between her shiny candy-apple lips. He knew she would do him right –

do him so very well.

“Ah, Love…yeah…”

And finally, what he wanted most – to spread her thighs wide for him and slide his cock right where it longed to be; buried to the hilt within her. Spike remembered the way her tight little pussy had clenched his fingers – so fiery hot and slick with her juices. It didn’t take much to imagine it sheathed around him now. He knew exactly how it would be, slamming home inside her, feeling her muscles starting to contract as her orgasm built. Knowing it was him bringing her this pleasure. Only him.

“Christ, Buffy – Fuuuuck!”

He roared out his climax, knowing there was no one around to hear it. Thick milky rivulets hit the back wall of the shower and flowed away with the water.

“ Oh…fuck…yeah…”

He rasped, starting to come down now. He was still braced against the wall with one arm, and he leaned into it gasping. God, that was good. Best wank ever – and no wonder. Anymore UST and a bloke could explode. Plus he had all that really choice fantasy material now.

He pushed the thought from his mind. He didn’t want to think about that now. Just wanted to finish his shower and seek the solace of his bed and the oblivion of sleep.

He prayed he wouldn’t dream tonight. And if he did – that he wouldn’t remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy lay there for a moment, stunned. She tried to let this information sink in. Just how long had this been going on exactly? Had they been attracted to each other from the beginning? Just dancing around this issue the whole time?

“ It’s all we’ve ever done.”

His words came back to her.

“No.”

But it was said quietly and without conviction. She flipped through her mental catalogue of memories – scenes flashing in her mind. The night she first met him. Their first fight at the school. Spike at her house – making a deal with the devil to stop Acathala. Willow’s wedding spell.

They’d kissed and groped and made out like they were extras in “ The Real Cancun”. And when the spell had ended, it wasn’t the horror of kissing Spike that made her pull away; it was the knowledge that she didn’t want to stop. How quickly she had stamped that down, burying it in the deepest part of her subconscious.

Swaggery Spike. Snarkey Spike. Ultra-Violent Spike. They were all there in her memories, soon to be followed by: Helpless Spike. Romantic Spike. And always and forever;

Mouthy Spike.

Bad Buffy Brain piped up. Okay, fine – them too. And a few months ago, when Riley was sick – Bad Ass Spike showed up for a minute, doing his level best to get that chip out of his head. And wasn’t that exhilarating though? Seeing the old Spike for just a moment? God, she’d been pissed at him. Her sense of betrayal was so great…

It’s not like he didn’t act exactly according to character.

She just never expected him to hurt her like that. He went behind her back; he lied to her and double-crossed her when he was supposed to be helping her – and in cahoots with Harmony, no less.

Oh, but the fight – too sweet and over too soon. When he’d leapt at her, the shock of his body on top of hers. And the sense memory that took over when she knew the bite was coming. She shivered involuntarily. When Angel bit her it gave her the best orgasm of her life.

Her mind corrected. Yes, now second to the dream she’d had the other night.

Would be third best if only…

Buffy pushed that thought away quickly. So if Spike had bitten her… she gulped. It woulda been one helluva way to go out. And she knew he hadn’t been unaware of that – of what a vampire bite could do…sexually. When he was on top of her then, she’d felt his erection grinding into her as he went for the kill. The arousal she’d felt had been so sharp and immediate that it threw her off her guard, stunning her for a moment. And that wasn’t the first time was it? How many times had she fought or argued with him and noticed his hard-on threatening to pop out the buttons on his 501’s?

God, did the man ever wear underwear?

Probably Dozens. Though she’d dismissed it or consciously chosen to ignore it.

So it wasn’t just her.

It was both of them.

Wanting each other.

All this time…

“Fuck.”

Buffy’s mind hurt from so much circular thinking. Even Bad Buffy Brain had been stunned into silence. Her head ached, her eyes burned and her stomach was a tangle of anxiety. There was nothing left for her to do but sleep it off, and hope the morning light would bring some clarity.

She reached over and flicked on her small bedside lamp. Digging in her nightstand she found the small bottle of Tylenol PM and gratefully downed 2 tablets with a gulp of bottled water. Hopefully now she could get a decent night’s rest.

Things always look better in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Goddess of Love stood at the foot of Buffy’s bed in all her enchanted glory. Her son stood by, watching her with awe as she worked her magic on the fabric of reality itself.

He thought with amusement. After all these years he was still learning from her. It’d barely taken her an hour to come up with a devastating new plan of action. Aphrodite had taken the time to sit with the girl and tap into her desires, conscious and unconscious. Very quickly she’d hit upon the snag that was keeping the lovers apart.

“ She believes she wants a so-called ‘normal life’.”

She announced materializing on the roof of the Summer’s house alongside Eros. She smoothed her silken robes and patted her flowing hair back into perfect order. …As if she needed it.

“ I was able to confirm with the Akashik Records. The girl thinks of her Slayerhood as a burden. She was never trained properly, you see. She should have been raised with the knowledge of what she was, but she slipped under the radar of the Watcher’s Council somehow. She didn’t find out until the age of 16! It came as quite a shock as you can imagine.”

Eros nodded sympathetically, trying to envision such a destiny suddenly thrust upon an unsuspecting teenage girl.

“Her Watcher must have had his work cut out for him.”

“ Oh yes, indeed. The upshot of all this is that she wants back the life she had, thinking it will bring her happiness. That is why she refuses her vampire suitor and clings to a mortal lover.”

“ She has another lover?” He asked, shocked.

“ Didn’t you do any sort of research? Impetuous child… No matter, you may have overlooked him anyway. She has little connection with him beyond her fantasy of a quote ‘normal boyfriend’. And you should have seen that girl’s heart – such a mess! No wonder the poor dear is confused. She’s so thoroughly committed to this misguided ideal that she’s throwing away a chance at real happiness.”

She shook her head sympathetically, a frown upon her rosy lips.

“ And on a side note, our vampire is non-other than the infamous William the Bloody. Which isn’t helping matters one little bit. However much he tries to change, she doesn’t trust him, always believing he has ulterior motives.”

She stood up and began pacing the length of the roof, her flaxen curls glowing platinum in the moonlight. She turned to him, her perfect brows drawn together in thought.

“ This is serious business, Eros. Destiny is at work here – their souls and karma are deeply intertwined. The Powers want them together. They need each other you see, without their Love for each other they are lost.”

“ I had no idea what I was getting into, did I?”

Aphrodite smiled indulgently at her errant child.

“ You never do, Cherub.”

“ What will happen if we fail?”

“ We must not. It is Buffy’s Love that drives Spike towards positive change. At her side he will become a great warrior and serve the White, ultimately redeeming his own soul. And it is Spike’s Love that will make Buffy’s life worth living, it will give her something to cherish and fight for, it will make her the strongest Slayer in all the line.”

“ My Goddess…” Eros exclaimed in awe. And he had thought this a simple Love Match. Aphrodite nodded at him and then continued;

“ But without Buffy, Spike will fall back into his old ways - and at best drink himself into a stupor until he is foolishly killed – and at worst he could give even Angelus a run for his money.”

Eros hissed in shock.

“ It cannot be so – have you not seen his heartfire? It blazes like the sun, it is what called me here!”

Aphrodite rubbed his arm soothingly and said gently;

“ But it is just that tender heart that makes him vulnerable. It’s what drew him to an unlife in the first place.” She frowned thoughtfully, turning away from him to continue her pacing.

“ And as for Buffy, she would remain a strong, capable Slayer – but with an unfilled heart and an empty life. It would be her undoing. She won’t last long without the boy.”

“What must we do?”

“ I’ve come up with a plan, Poppet. You’ve heard the expression ‘Careful what

you wish for?’ …”

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her.

“Yes?”

“ The Slayer desires ‘normal’?” Aphrodite’s blue eyes twinkled wickedly.

“Then normal she shall have…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning light stirred her from a deep and restful sleep. She turned over into her pillow displacing the heavy masculine arm that was draped over her protectively. That felt sooo nice, she snuggled happily into the bare chest in front of her.

Her sleep-fuddled brain manufactured. She sighed with contentment. All was right with the world.

Wait.

She peeled open one eye carefully.

Not Spike. Large + Warm = Riley.

She tried not to feel too disappointed, and looked up to see him smiling sleepily at her.

“ Good morning, Beautiful.”

She smiled back at him, warming slightly to his sudden appearance.

“ Morning. When did you get here? I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“ What are you talking about, Buffy? I was here when we went to bed. Together.”

“ Oh.”

Buffy was feeling very perplexed at the moment. She pulled back the blankets and struggled into an upright position. That’s when she noticed she wasn’t in her own bedroom anymore…

She scanned the room quickly, relieved to find she was somewhere familiar at least.

“ Are you okay, Sweetie?”

Riley asked over his shoulder as he slipped out of bed and began rummaging around in the drawers of his dresser. He found a pair of green sweats and slipped them on over his boxers, along with a simple gray athletic shirt.

“ Yeah, I just thought…”

“ Good.” He said brightly, not noticing he was cutting her off. “ ‘Cause we don’t want to be late for class.”

“ Oh. Okay.”

She got out of bed and began picking her clothes off the floor.

“ I’m gonna grab a quick shower then. Meet you at lunch?”

He smiled cheerfully at her and grabbed his towel off the hook on the closet door.

“ Yeah. Sounds good.”

Buffy finished dressing quickly – in clothes she didn’t remember wearing last night.

Cute though.

At least she could count on her own taste. Riley opened the door, then turned around and came back to her.

“ I can’t believe I almost forgot – ”

He scooped her up into his arms and kissed her soundly, leaving her breathless.

“ I never want to leave you without doing that.” He said putting her feet gently back on the ground, smiling sweetly. “ I always want you to know how much I love you.”

Her heart melted just a little.

“ How could I not? ”

She said, touched. He grinned boyishly at her and shouldered his towel.

“ I can’t wait for this summer, Buffy.”

“ Me either.”

She replied, trying not to sound as puzzled as she felt. She smiled brightly at him as he walked towards the door.

“ And, Honey – don’t forget your ring on the night stand again. I just hate to see you without it.”

He winked then turned down the hall, seeking his morning shower.

Curiosity piqued, Buffy walked over to the oak night table on her side of the bed.

There glittering brightly in the early morning sunlight was a gorgeous diamond solitaire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy could not have been more shocked. This was hers? When did that happen?

“ Okay. Something seriously screwy is going on.”

She pocketed the ring and headed over to the dorms, hoping to catch Willow before class.

Ten minutes later she was knocking on the door to Tara and Willow’s room, anxiously going over the morning’s events in her mind. Tara answered the door smiling kindly at Buffy.

“ Hi Tara – I was just looking for Willow. I had something I needed to talk to her about before class.”

She looked politely puzzled.

“ I’m sorry, she isn’t here Buffy. She didn’t come by this morning.”

“ Come by?”

Buffy’s brow wrinkled with confusion.

“ No. I wasn’t expecting to see her till lunch.”

Buffy was crestfallen. She worried at her lower lip, thinking.

“ Oh. Okay. Well, do you know where I might find her?”

Tara looked even more perplexed.

“ Um, your room maybe?”

“ My room?”

“ Are you okay, Buffy?”

She looked genuinely concerned.

Buffy plastered on a smile and tried to pass it off as a blonde moment.

“ I’m sorry - I spent the night at Riley’s and I didn’t get much sleep…” Tara pinked slightly at this admission. “ I mean I didn’t sleep well. I guess I just assumed she would be with you.”

Tara beamed brightly at her, feeling complimented.

“ That’s okay. It’s nice that you would assume that – I guess that makes us an official couple then.”

Buffy smiled with false cheer, her brain on overload.

“ Yeah. Absolutely it does. I guess I’ll just run over to our room, and then I think it’s time for some serious coffee.”

Tara smiled sweetly.

“ Okay, I’ll see you guys at lunch then.”

“ Great. Bye.”

“ Bye, Buffy.”

Tara closed the door gently on a very confused Slayer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy dashed over to Stevenson Hall as quickly as she could, her mind a whirl of confusion. Was she dreaming? But everything seemed so real. Then maybe last night was the dream – that somehow seemed more likely… Her and Spike, making out? Half naked in the graveyard? That couldn’t be real, right? But then why was it so easy to remember the feel of his mouth on hers? Or the touch of his hands, cool and commanding on her body? Buffy felt fractures beginning to develop in her sanity…

I need to talk to Willow, now.

She knocked lightly on the door to her room, praying feverishly.

Willow answered the door, looking surprised to find Buffy on the other side.

“ Buffy? Why’d you knock?”

“ Um, I forgot my key? I’m having a really weird morning, Wil.”

Willow’s face was all concern as she looked at her friend. Buffy was obviously very upset.

“ What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Buffy walked into the room she’d moved out of two months ago to find her belongings magically returned, just as if she’d never left. Somehow she didn’t think dorm gnomes were responsible. She looked around nervously, chewing her thumbnail.

“ Yeah, I guess – I don’t know. Do you have time to talk now? I kinda need you.”

Willow sat down on her own bed across from her, brow furrowed with alarm.

“ I’ll make time. You look really freaked, Buffy. What’s up? ”

Buffy sat down heavily on her bed, worrying at her nail anxiously.

“ Could you um, tell me about my life? ‘Cause I seem to have completely forgotten it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ What? What’s going on? What do you mean…”

“ I mean I woke up at Riley’s this morning. But I went to bed at my house. I have an engagement ring I don’t ever remember getting. I thought I moved back home two months ago…And I won’t even begin to describe the events of the last couple of days to you – ‘cause you wouldn’t believe me. Hell, I don’t even believe me.”

Willow looked dumbfounded. But she immediately rallied like a trooper for a possible explanation.

“ Do you think it’s some kind of spell? …Or maybe you’re just working too hard lately?”

Buffy shrugged and threw up her hands in exasperation.

“ I dunno, Wil. But my memories of how things were, like pre-dawn today – are as vivid and real as sitting here with you right now. I don’t know what to think! Could a spell do all this?”

“ Mess with your mind? Oh heck yeah. Magic can make you believe anything – at least for a little while. And you should know, right? Cause of my whole wacky ‘do my will’ spell. Making you think you were in love with Spike…”

Willow flicked her wrist in a dismissive gesture, chuckling.

“ Yeah, ridiculous…”

Buffy laughed weakly, a series of images flashing through her mind from last night – all graphic and painfully real.

“ It might be nothing, Buffy – I mean why would anybody wanna do this to you anyway?

It doesn’t make any sense.”

“ Maybe just to mess with the Slayer? I dunno…”

Willow looked confused.

“ But how would this affect Faith?”

It was Buffy’s turn to look confused.

“ Huh?!”

Willow’s voice was puzzled.

“ How would you being all wonky in the head affect the Slayer?”

Buffy’s eyebrows met her hairline as she made a sudden mental connection.

“ Faith’s the Slayer?!”

Buffy’s jaw hung slackly open for a full minute, prompting Willow to lean over and gently close it.

“ I take it that’s one of those things you don’t remember.”

Buffy got up, pacing anxiously.

“ Uh yeah. This can’t be a good thing, Wil. I don’t understand anything that’s going on… Not a year ago Faith stole my body, tried to steal my life not to mention fucking my boyfriend! And now she’s the Slayer! And what exactly does that make me?!”

Her voice rose to a hysterical pitch.

“ Um while I don’t feel at all qualified to address that first part, I can tell you what it makes you…”

“ In the middle of a psychotic break?”

“Uh, no – not exactly.”

“ On gianormous amounts of LSD?”

Willow rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

“ No, Silly - it makes you retired.”

Buffy thunked down heavily on her bed.

“ What?!”

Willow moved next to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“ Oh, Sweetie – I don’t know what’s going on, but I promise you we’ll figure this out.”

Buffy patted her arm gratefully and then rose from the bed again, pacing.

“ Just tell me how – when?”

Willow looked thoughtful.

“ Well, you started planning it senior year. I remember there was lots of discussion about everything. I mean it was such a big deal for there to be two of you in the first place. When you got your SAT scores back, they were so good – and then you got accepted to Northwestern. Your mom lobbied really hard of course, and Giles always wants the best for you…”

Buffy nodded absentmindedly remembering how excited her mom had been about her high SAT scores. She turned to Willow raising an enquiring eyebrow.

“ And Faith?”

She shrugged offhandedly.

“ She said she didn’t mind, ‘cause she loved the job and you didn’t – and she was never gonna go to college. She figured being a Slayer was all she was good for. She was super sweet about the whole thing actually.”

Buffy crossed her arms, looking deeply skeptical.

“ Really.”

“ Yeah. I kinda think she was happy to be the only Slayer. She really stepped up to the plate – started training really hard with Giles and - ”

“ Giles is her Watcher?!”

Her mouth fell open in horror.

“ Well yeah, it only made sense – he had so much experience already. And that Wesley guy couldn’t really handle her. He kinda pooped out after we raided the mayor’s office and Faith…hey, do you remember that at all?”

She studied Buffy intently.

“ I remember the mayor’s ascension thingy – big snake and explodey-demon bits all over the place…”

Her friend cut her off;

“ Oh. Well, that never actually happened …” Willow’s brows drew together in a contemplative frown. “At least not here…”

She rested her head in her hand, lost in thought.

“ What? What are you thinking?”

Her frowned deepened.

“ I don’t know…it sounds impossible, even for here…but then again…”

Buffy was deeply unnerved.

“ What Willow?!?”

“ It’s just …I’ve been reading something lately.” She crossed the room to her bed and began shuffling in the drawer of her nightstand. Turning to Buffy she handed her a book. The title didn’t register mentally at all ; “The Many-Worlds Theory of Quantum Mechanics”.

“ Is this for your physics class?”

Willow shrugged and gave her a little half-smile.

“ Just a little light bedtime reading.”

“Wow.”

Buffy was seriously impressed.

“Hey, a girl’s gotta have her hobbies.” She smiled enigmatically before going on. “ Anyway – this book is all about how there are alternate Universes that exist right beside our own. Some so close that they’re almost like a mirror to ours – others so far that we would hardly recognize them.”

Buffy’s brain strained to absorb this new information.

“ So there’s not just other dimensions, there are alternate Universes?”

“ Yup. Apparently reality is a pretty complex place.” She nodded. “ The thing is these AU’s - that’s what the book calls ‘em – aren’t separated by much. According to the author decisions we make can send us into a different place. But this is the weird part – there aren’t just alternate Universes, Buffy. There’s alternate Us - es.”

Buffy just goggled at the implications.

“ Yeah, I know. It kinda gave me the heebies at first too. Remember Vampire Willow? Yech.” She shuddered. “ This guy says that on some level, our souls live out every choice we make. Like it’s part of our spiritual growth process. All our major life choices create our path, and with every big life choice our path splits – and a part of us goes one way, and another part goes the other way. He says you can create Heaven or Hell on earth depending on your own choices. Makes it pretty important to stay conscientious huh?”

Buffy frowned.

“ So what are you thinking, Will?”

“ I’m thinking – and I realize how wacko this sounds – but Hellmouth right?”

“ Riiight…”

She encouraged.

“ I’m thinking you’re in an alternate Universe. The things you said, about not remembering getting engaged – and I mean you would never forget that! And about Faith being bad, and the mayor’s ascension. It just rang a bell for me and I thought maybe, just maybe it could be possible.”

They stood in astonished silence together, letting the implications of this sink in.

“ Buffy – maybe you’re getting a chance to live out a different choice. That seems like the only way you would remember things being different. ‘Cause according to the book we turn corners into different Universes every day without ever being aware of it.”

Buffy sat down next to Willow on the bed, stunned.

“ I don’t even know what to say…”

“ I know. Mind-blowing right? Just wait until you get into String Theory. I’ll lend you ‘The Elegant Universe’ – it’ll fry your synapses.”

“ No thanks, my brain already hurts as it is.”

Willow patted the top of her friend’s head gently.

“ Aw, poor Buffy’s Brain.”

She smiled at the silly gesture and then asked;

“ Could this really be possible, Wil?”

“ Well, Buff – look where we are. I think just about anything is possible.”

She made a wide arm sweep to indicate Sunnydale, the Hellmouth and Everything…

Buffy shook her head, trying to make the jumble inside make sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eros stood awestruck, observing the wonderment Aphrodite had performed.

“ Mother, what have you done?”

She clapped her hands, delighted with her triumph.

“ Oh, Only a small feat…I simply moved her over to the second Universe to the left. It was nothing really.”

She said, her voice full of artificial modesty. Eros smiled at her attempt at humility. She never was very good at it.

“ What shall we do now?”

He asked. She smiled brilliantly at him and gave him a wink.

“ Why nothing, Dear Boy – simply sit back and enjoy the show.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy sat in brooding silence for several minutes. There was so much to digest. And she wasn’t sure she entirely believed it…but Hellmouth. That always made a convincing argument for any kind of weirdness to pop up in Sunnydale. And the weirdness had been plentiful as of late... She made up her mind to go with it, and see what they could find out at least. Stranger things had certainly happened. She smiled gamely at Willow.

“ So Faith huh?”

Willow nodded casually.

“ Yeah.”

“ Crazy Faith?”

That got a smile.

“ Uh huh.”

“ Psycho-killer Faith?”

Willow grinned wider.

“ Well she does go a little nutso on the vamps, but I wouldn’t necessarily call her a psycho-killer.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow, her tone incredulous.

“ So Faith is good now?”

Willow shrugged noncommittally.

“ Um, as far as I know she was never really bad, Buff. Not here. Faith is the one that stopped the mayor’s plans before they got too far. With your help of course…”

She added lamely, seeing the look on her friend’s face. Buffy’s frown deepened.

“ It’s just that – in my memory – or maybe my world – Faith went really psycho. She didn’t stop the mayor - she helped him. Right after she murdered the deputy mayor. Then she poisoned Angel and tried to kill me and…”

“ God, Buffy – oh no! No wonder you’re so freaked!”

“ Yeah. And it gets worse, Wil. Because of all that, and more…I had to fight her and I…well I put her in a coma for a really long time.”

Willow breathed in a hiss of shock.

“ Oh my Goddess...”

“ I know. But last year she came out of it, reaaallly pissed off and out for revenge. She had some kind of device – a magic device, that allowed her to switch bodies with me.”

Her friend’s eyes went wide.

“ She stole your body, like really stole it? So you weren’t exaggerating when you said that.”

“ No, I wasn’t. She went nuts. Did all kinds of crazy stuff. She slept with Riley – in my body. He didn’t know of course. But it hurt so much! And it took me forever to get over it. Riley and I just got back to normal not that long ago.”

Willow looked stunned.

“ I don’t even know what to say. I’m kinda amazed you didn’t kill her.”

“ Oh, I wanted to. Believe me. But she ran off – like she does. All the way to Angel, who protected her – of course.”

“ I can’t believe that! After what she did?”

“ Yeah – he didn’t know at the time and – God, it’s such a long story...”

Willow’s face reflected her concern, and she asked quietly;

“ Can you tell me what happened? How did it end up?”

“ She turned herself in actually. She did the right thing, and now she’s doing time there. I don’t know when she gets out – if ever.”

“ Wow.”

“Yeah. Wow.”

“ Well, at least she did the right thing at the end. I know it doesn’t make up for anything she did to you…”

“It doesn’t, but maybe it will…eventually.” She smiled gently at her, thoughtful. “ You know, it’s funny. But the Wil I know hates Faith with a fiery passion, second only to mine.”

Willow smiled back.

“ I didn’t like her much, at first. I felt like she was taking my friends away. But then she turned out to be so good for you, and then she kinda just turned out to be good. She’s a great Slayer, Buffy. Not as good as you, of course.”

She added, patting Buffy’s knee reassuringly.

“ Yeah. Of course.”

She said not really believing it.

“ But she’s done a lot of good in the world. Averted 3 apocalypses – apocali?” Willow pondered. “ Giles says she’s really coming along.”

“That’s great I guess.” Buffy said half-heartedly, and then asked, “ She’s a good Slayer?”

“ Yeah.”

“ And she’s a good…person now?”

“ Uh huh.”

“Wow.”

Buffy got off the bed, pacing again. She felt dizzy from trying to keep up with the changes. Everything was so different. And the possibility that she was in an alternate Universe? She didn’t even know what to do with that information. A thought occurred to her and she stopped, turning to where her friend sat on the bed.

“ Am I happy, Wil? I mean here, in general?”

She smiled brightly in response.

“ You really are, Buffy. You said it was what you always wanted – to go to school and have a normal life. Be a regular girl. And you’re doing really good here. Your grades are great, and you’re so happy with Riley…”

“ Yeah, what about that? When did we get engaged? I mean we are right?”

“ Oh yeah! It was so sweet! He made such a big deal out of the proposal – I got to help plan.” She said grinning conspiratorially. “ He took you on this little tour of all the places that were special to you guys – you know like the lecture hall that he was your TA in, the quad that you had your first picnic on – ending in the school bookstore, where you first met. He told you that he had never been so happy to have a concussion in his life – cause that’s how he met you.”

“ The whole dropping books on his head thing.”

Willow nodded, beaming.

“ Yeah. Then he broke out roses and champagne and popped the question.”

“ Did I say yes right away?”

“Yup – that minute – or so ya told me.”

“ Wow.”

“ Plus he made this big deal about planning the wedding for the summer so he could take you on a big long honeymoon. You’ll be gone for like 2 months.”

“Wow.” She repeated, her mind starting to short-circuit. She sat down again, rubbing her forehead, trying to fend off an impending headache. Something important came to mind.

“ Have I met his parents yet?”

“ Yep. Nice, down to earth types.”

She worried her bottom lip nervously.

“ Do they like me?”

Willow nodded, reassuring;

“ They love you, Buffy. They already refer to you as their daughter and everything.”

“I’m running out of ‘Wows’ here…”

Willow put her arm around Buffy for reassurance.

“ I know it’s gotta be a shock. I can’t even imagine it myself. But we’ll get the gang on it and we’ll figure it out. You know we will.”

Buffy smiled weakly.

“ Yeah. I guess so. We always do.”

“ Let’s call Giles right now, okay?”

“ Okay. I’m sure I’ll feel better just hearing him say something Giles-ish.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dear Lord, Buffy – an Alternate Universe, are you sure?”

“ Kinda?”

“ Oh Dear.”

Buffy and Willow exchanged a smile.

“See I told ya.”

She whispered to her friend, cupping her hand over the receiver.

“ What’s that?”

“ Nothing, just talking to Willow.”

“ Well, you two should come in straight away. I’ll call Xander and Faith and have them meet you here.”

“ Of course, Giles. And thank you.”

She said, sincerely grateful. He seemed momentarily stunned. When had Buffy ever said thank you for anything?

“ You’re welcome. Of course.”

He said kindly. Buffy smiled with relief. Giles was on it - they would figure it out. They always did.

“ We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

She hung up the phone.

“ Looks like it’s Scooby time again.”

Willow raised an eyebrow and put on a stuffy English-accent for Buffy’s benefit;

“Indeed.”

It was the first real smile she’d seen from her friend all day.