I'll Never Leave You

It has been three months since the destruction of Sunnydale, Buffy has moved to Cleveland with Dawn and Giles. Xander has moved to Cleveland also and has started a new construction job; he had taken pity on Andrew and let him move in with him as his housekeeper. Willow and Kennedy have moved to LA. Where Faith and Wood were, was anybody's guess, they had left immediately after it had all happened, taking the old school bus with them. A memento of his time as Principle of Sunnydale he had said.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

        I'll Never Leave You

Buffy sat alone, by the window of her apartment; she looked down onto the street, watching the "ordinary people" go about their "ordinary lives". She was not the only chosen one anymore, they were everywhere, but she still had been unable to start living that life of a normal girl. A heavy leaden lump ached in her chest, where her heart had once been. She shook her head, desperately trying to clear the images from it, but the ghosts just wouldn't leave her be. She closed her eyes in defeat as she let the familiar images wash over her, already replayed in her head a thousand times.

"I love you,"

"No you don't, but thanks for saying it,"

His denial of her love, had troubled her for days, she believed that he had died really thinking that any woman he had loved, never loved him back. It had been a week after Spike had died that she had finally worked it out in her head, he had believed her declaration of love, it had been his way of letting her go. She knew deep down that she would have willingly stayed with him, and seen it to the bitter end. Dawn would have been taken care of, the hellmouth was destroyed, she knew she should be grateful, Spike had given her something, no one had, the chance of a normal life, but what was the point of it, when the only person you wanted to spend it with was a pile of ashes at the bottom of a crater?

She sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, Buffy forced herself to get out of her seat and go to the cupboard in the hall, she took her jacket out and slipped it on, she was meeting Dawn in half an hour at Starbucks, another attempt on her sister's part to bring her back to the land of the living. Buffy dropped her keys on the floor, she couldn't see them in the darkness of the cupboard, so she got on her hands and knees and fumbled around for them, finally locating them in the back of the cupboard. Her hand closed on a rucksack, shoved in the far corner.

"Funny, don't remember that being there," she said

She pulled it out of the cupboard, in the light she instantly recognised it as Andrews, must have got mixed up with the few meagre belongings they has salvaged from the school bus, she thought to herself. She put it on the floor; it fell to one side, the contents spilling from it. Andrew's video camera lay there, Buffy felt the breath leave her body, as she had remembered Andrew's annoying filming sessions of herself and all the others, maybe he'd even caught some images of Spike. Her heart raced as she fumbled through the bag, pulling the connecting cables that were luckily still in there.

She took the camcorder over to the TV and set it up. She turned on the camera; it still worked to her surprise. Buffy ran the tape; there was a lot of waffling on Andrew's part, which she impatiently fast-forwarded. She stopped the tape on a scene he'd filmed of them all in the kitchen having breakfast. She smiled a little smile as she listened to herself making another one of her motivational speeches. They were fighting the first evil, and she was getting her panties in a budge about Andrew filming them.

"Because it's a waste of time, Come on someone has to agree with me. Spike?"

"Long as you're not pointing that thing at me, seems like a fine way to keep the boy busy,"

Buffy's eyes filled with tears, as she looked on the face of her saviour, a face she had never thought to see again. As he stood there trying to talk with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. She had been afraid that she was starting to forget how blue his eyes were or the shape of that sensual mouth that she knew intimately. She froze the picture on his image and knelt down in front of the TV and touched the screen lovingly tracing the outlines of his beloved face.

Where was he now, what happened to demons after they died, his soul must have gone to heaven, but what of his demon counterpart, the part that made him Spike, did he cease to exist when his body had dissolved? Buffy pondered on this, she was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the key turn in the lock. She quickly pulled the cables out of the Tv and shoved the camera under the coffee table. She had just found Spike again and didn't feel ready to share him with people who might not understand.

She lay down on the sofa and closed her eyes, feigning sleep. Dawn entered the apartment, fired up at her sister for missing their meeting at Starbucks. She stomped angrily into the lounge about to burst into a tirade, when she saw her sister asleep on the sofa. She closed her mouth and sighed, Buffy needed the rest, dark shadows showed under her eyes like bruises, many a night dawn had heard her get up from their room and pace about in the apartment, looking for some kind of peace, but never finding it. She left Buffy to sleep and went into the kitchen to get herself a homemade caffeine fix.

Buffy felt herself slowly drift off to sleep, against her will. Her dreams frightened her; they always took her back to Sunnydale. She slipped into a fitful sleep that her body ached for.

**Buffy's dream**

She was running through the school corridors, the building was shaking and falling apart, she gripped the scythe in her hand as she negotiated the falling rubble. Tears still streaming down her face from her emotional encounter with Spike, she ran out into the daylight, the school bus was waiting there for her, Faith standing on the steps of the bus.

"Come on B," she screamed.

She pulled Buffy into the bus, the doors closing behind them. She then ran to the back of the bus where her sister Dawn hugged her, the Bus sped off, as Buffy was in her sister's arms she looked over her shoulder, her eyes widening in horror as she saw Spike emerge from the building, his jacket over his head to protect him from the daylight. She looked into his eyes and heard his mouth silently form the words "Buffy" he held out a smoking hand to her. She screamed at Robin Wood to stop the bus, he ignored her and carried on driving. "Spike, Spike" she screamed as she saw the school fall into the hell mouth.

        * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy awoke to two pairs of concerned eyes. Giles and Dawn, Giles was panting slightly out of breath, he had just entered the apartment building when he had heard Buffy's screams, Dawn was wiping at a large coffee stain on her blouse.

"Give me a heart attack why don't cha?" said Dawn

"What happened?" asked Buffy confused.

"You were screaming Spike," said Giles shakily

"Uh, bad dream," said Buffy.

"Want to talk about it?" asked Giles

"Not so much, got any more of that coffee Dawnie?" asked Buffy looking at her sister's blouse.

"Sorry I am wearing it all," said Dawn as she flounced off into the kitchen.

"Buffy we should talk about this, look at you, you're holding on by a thread, your clothes are hanging off you, just because Spike died does not mean that you should get yourself a death wish too," he said Sternly.

Buffy's face whitened at his cruelty, she did something she never thought she'd do, Buffy slapped Giles across the face, and walked off in the direction of her bedroom, she almost tripped on Andrew's rucksack, she picked it up and took it in her room and closed the door, locking it behind her.

TBC

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

        Chapter2

Xander was busy at the construction site, going over the plans of a new apartment building with his boss, when his cell phone went off. He looked slightly embarrassed and took it out of his jacket pocket. He saw the caller was Giles.

"Sorry I have to take this," he said apologetically.

He turned his back and walked a few paces, so to be out of his bosses hearing.

"Hey G man what's up?" asked Xander.

"Thought I'd told you never to call me that, never mind: I'm worried about Buffy, she's locked herself in her room again, but I think it's more than that," sighed Giles.

"Look I am on lunch break in half an hour, about I come over, see if I can talk to her," said Xander.

"Would you? I've tried everything and I have Dawn here pitching a fit, because she can't get in her room," Said Giles rather desperately.

"Ah, the joys of being a surrogate father, I'll be over as quick as I can," Xander replied.

Xander dialled up his home number.

"Hello?" said a voice warily on the other end.

"Andrew it's me, sorry can't make it home for lunch, have to go see Giles," said Xander.

"I already made it, I cook I clean and do your dirty laundry, all I ask is a little respect in return, well if you want your lunch later, it will be in the cat," whined Andrew.

"We don't have a cat," said Xander.

"Well the goldfish then," Andrew replied slamming down the phone.

Xander went back to his boss, to continue going over the plans. He sometimes wondered why he put up with Andrew. He had just looked so lost, both of his friends were dead, he had nobody, he'd just stood there shifting about from one foot to another, when Faith and Wood had driven them all here. He knew why he kept him around even if he hadn't admitted it to anyone else. He was his last link with Anya. Her death still cut deep, he winced inwardly as he remembered his stupid throw away remarks he'd made as they had surveyed the remains of Sunnydale. But, it had just been his way of coping; he looked at his watch.

"Okay if I go for lunch now?" asked Xander.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Xander arrived at the apartment building; he could hear Dawn's wails as he neared the front door. He knocked on the door; a rather harassed looking Giles opened it.

"Oh thank God, you're here," said Giles in relief.

Dawn was on the sofa, looking a blotchy mess, her nose all red from crying.

"Hey Dawnster, what's up?" he asked her instantly regretting it, as she went off into one.

"Buffy?" he asked looking at Giles.

Giles motioned towards the direction of her room.

"Go easy on her, I think I may have been a bit insensitive," admitted Giles

Xander walked off, while Dawn was still full rant, closing the door behind him. He put his ear to the door, it was silent, maybe she had fallen asleep. He tapped lightly on the door.

"Go away Giles, I need to be alone," she said

"Not Giles, Xander here," he replied.

"Oh," came the voice from inside.

There was a continued silence, when Xander was startled as the door suddenly flew open. Buffy looked pale, but at least there was no sign of tears, he thought.

"Bad dreams again?" he asked

She nodded.

"Yeah they can be a bitch," he said.

Buffy opened the door wider to let him in. Xander looked at the mess that was she and her sister's bedroom.

"Whoa, maybe I could lend you Andrew for awhile," he smiled.

"I thought you were my friend," she replied.

"Just a joke Buff," he said sitting down on the bed next to her.

She smiled at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Buffy this has to stop, you're killing yourself," he said softly.

"Well what use am I? I never wanted to come back in the first place, you all know that, I should have died with Spike, would have been a mercy," she said sadly.

"Buffy Anne Summers, don't ever let me hear you talk like that again! I lost Anya, life still goes on, you may not want it to, but it does, why do you think I keep so busy, because when I stop, I remember that she's not there anymore and she's never gonna come back. Don't make Spike's or Anya's sacrifice pointless, remember when you told Dawn the hardest thing in this world is to live in it?"

"Yes, I remember,"

"Well live in it, live for those we lost, but most of all, live for yourself," he said.

Buffy bowed her head as huge sobs racked her body, she felt the comfort of Xander's arms around her, she melted into them for a moment, until she was reminded of another time, when someone had held her in his cold arms, giving her strength, she struggled to be free, the memory was too raw.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I really want to be alone, thanks for being here," she smiled weakly at him.

Xander looked at his watch.

"Gotta be some where?" she asked.

"Time for me to be back at the site and I didn't get any lunch," he told her.

"Dawn's probably got a doughnut or two kicking around," said Buffy, sounding a little more like her old self.

"And you know I'm trying to cut down on the sugary fried snacks," he said patting his tummy.

He gave her a smile as he left her and closed the door behind him.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn had stopped her crying, as she was sitting watching MTV, while Giles cringed at the music.

"So how is she?" asked Giles.

"Well she's been better," said Xander.

"Do you think I can get in my room now?" asked Dawn.

"I'd say that was a possibility," said Xander.

"Good cos my friend and I are gonna check out the all the cute guys at the mall, can't do it wearing this," grinned Dawn. Pointing to her soiled blouse.

She walked off in the direction of her room.

"Are you going to let her just go?" asked Xander.

"She's seventeen, I have to trust her sometime," sighed Giles.

Giles switched off the TV, glad of the silence. The phone rang, jolting them out of their thoughts. Giles seemed reluctant to move.

"Shall I get that?" asked Xander.

"Please," said Giles vaguely.

"Hello, Rupert Giles, well not personally, anyway," said Xander.

Giles could hear the slight strain of an excited voice on the other end.

"Calm down Willow, you're talking too fast, say that again," said Xander as the colour leeched out of his face.

He listened as Willow repeated herself, he handed the receiver over to Giles.

"Think you'd better hear what Willow has to say," he said looking nervously at Buffy's bedroom door.

TBC

Chapter 3

Giles replaced the handset of the phone and slumped back down in his chair, Xander and Giles just looked at each other for a few moments.

“Not big on the understanding right now, Spikes alive, thought he’d gone all dusty,” said Xander confused

“Willow said she would tell us more when she got here, she’s flying in with him tonight, he’s had to be sedated, apparently Angel has had him at Wolfram and Hart for over a month,” explained Giles

“Does she want collecting from the airport? Doesn’t sound too good,” said Xander.

“Yes, her flight gets in about 4:00am tomorrow morning,” said Giles

“I’ll be there, when are you gonna break the news to Buffy? Still don’t get the how, people seem to have a real problem staying dead around here; mystical deaths definatley a grey area,” replied Xander.

Dawn came out of the bedroom; they both fell silent. She looked at the both of them.

“Something secret going down again, the old everyone stops talking when I enter the room thing, it’s a classic,” said Dawn.

“Dawn….” Giles began.

“It’s no big, I’m late for the mall, who’s going to give me a ride?” she asked hopefully.

“Come on, guess it’s down to me,” said Xander

“We’ll talk later, I‘ll stop by your apartment this evening,” said Giles.

Dawn was already on the steps of their apartment,

“Xander,” she said impatiently.

“Oh, and Xander, not a word to Buffy and Dawn, we need to figure out how to break the news to them, especially to Buffy,” said Giles quietly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Buffy, I have to go out for awhile, you’ll be okay here?” asked Giles though the bedroom door.

“Sure, I’ll be fine,” said Buffy.

Buffy waited until she heard the click of the front door closing behind him, she came out her bedroom checking that she was really alone, she had Andrew’s rucksack over one shoulder, she took it over to the table and spilled the contents all over it’s surface. She rummaged through a couple of Star Wars action figures and a stack of trading cards from various shows, some packs of gum, she picked up a heavy brown envelope. It had the word “Spike” scrawled across it, she ripped it open, not caring about Andrew’s privacy issues.

She peeked inside the envelope; the boy had been busy, collecting his little Spike shrine together, the others had joked that Andrew’s obsession with Spike had been more than hero worship, she was starting to think, that maybe they were right. There were a couple of cigarette butts in a little plastic bag, almost like evidence. Another little bag containing what looked like hair, she opened her mouth in amazement, she would know those bleach blonde locks anywhere. She would have loved to know how Andrew got close enough to get some, although Spike hadn’t had a reflection to work with, she knew his one vanity had been his hair and she couldn’t imagine Spike giving it up freely to anyone.

She smiled as her hand closed over Spike’s lighter, remembering his frustration the night before “It” happened, when they were in the basement together and he’d wanted a cigarette and he couldn’t find it, he had accused her of keeping it again, like last time. She flicked the lid open and closed it a couple of times, absentmindedly. At the bottom of the envelope were more videotapes, one labelled “He speaks” and a little doodled loveheart next to it. Buffy raised her eyebrows at it.

“Oh well, each to their own,” she sighed.

Buffy took the tape and knelt down beside the coffee table feeling underneath it for the camera, she hooked it back up to the TV, taking the other one out she put the tape in. As it started up, she couldn’t help, but laugh to herself as Andrew introduced himself, dressed in his own leather duster and he tried to do a poor imitation of an English accent. Buffy rolled her eyes; she really should have given Andrew more to do, it was obvious he’s had too much time on his hands.

She sat cross-legged in front of the TV, the scene switched to Spike in the basement; he was looking at the camera and frowning.

***The Video***

“I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod off before I rip your throat out and eat…. Said Spike

Andrew interrupted him.

“Ok, Spike the light was kinda behind you,”

“Oh, right, Uh, what? Said Spike shifting around “Is this better then?”

Spike went back to looking annoyed

“I thought I told you to piss off with that bloody camera, yet here you are with that thing in my face. Would you sod off…?

“That’s a wrap, thanks Spike, turning it off now,” said Andrew.

There were some muffled noises and the picture jolted about as Andrew rested the camera on some surface or other in the basement. Andrew hadn’t turned it off. Probably hoping to get some illicit footage of Spike, thought Buffy. She watched as Spike walked over to the fridge in the corner.

“Sod this, I need a beer, want one boy?” asked Spike to Andrew.

“Oh I don’t know, I’m not twenty one yet it’s illegal,” said Andrew nervously.

Spike laughed at him,

“You and your little nerds tried to take over Sunnydale, and you’re worried about a beer?” asked Spike in disbelief.

“I tried champagne once, it made me throw up,” said Andrew.

Spike handed him a beer.

“Come on Andrew, you’re not a man until you’ve tried your first beer,”

Andrew took it uncertainly, sniffing at it suspiciously, and took a small taste of it. Spike took his pack of smokes out of his jacket, he took a cigarette out of the packet and put it in his mouth, he offered a cigarette to Andrew, he took it desperately wanting to look as cool as his idol. Spike lit his own cigarette then lit Andrew’s. Andrew took a deep drag on it, instantly choking, Spike grinned as the boy coughed and retched. He slapped him on the back and handed him his beer; Andrew gulped it down gratefully. After that they just sat there in silence, Spike finished his beer and got his silver hip flask from his Jacket and started drinking from that. Andrew kept looking at Spike, when he thought the vampire wouldn’t notice.

“Why’d you stay Spike, after you know all your problems with the first?” asked Andrew, feeling brave after his alcohol consumption.

“None of your bleeding business,” snapped Spike.

A look of hurt appeared on Andrew’s face. Spike sighed,

“Because she asked me to, I would have gone, but she said she needed me, Buffy never needs anyone that’s what made me stay,” Spike admitted.

“You still love her?” asked Andrew.

“Silly bloody question if you ask me, but yes I still love her, in fact I think I always have, but she doesn’t want me, I’m just her little bit of cold comfort when things aren’t going her way,” said Spike sadly.

“That’s harsh,” said Andrew.

“That’s life boy, better get used to it,” said Spike.

there was a beeping noise,

“What’s that?” asked Spike suspiciously.

“Oh, the camera is on standby, battery must getting low,” said Andrew nervously.

A hand came towards the camera and then it went black.

Buffy stared at the blank screen for a moment and then it switched off, she turned seeing Giles standing behind her holding the remote.

“How long have you been standing there?” she asked.

“Long enough, had to come back forgot my books, got a couple of blocks away before I realised,” said Giles.

“Oh,” was all Buffy could think of to reply.

Giles looked at her for a moment.

“Buffy I have to tell you something, but I think you need to sit down,” he said seriously.

Buffy got up off the carpet and sat down on the sofa.

“What is it Giles, problems on the Cleveland hell mouth? Cos it’s been pretty quiet around here compared to Sunnydale,” she said flippantly.

“Willow’s coming to stay with us for awhile, she’s bringing someone with her,” said Giles.

“Kennedy? Can’t say I’m that keen on her, but I’ll try for Willow’s sake, one brat is quite enough in this place,” said Buffy thinking of her sister.

“No not Kennedy, someone you thought you’d never see again, Buffy there’s no easy way to tell you this so I am going to just come right out with it, It’s er Spike,” said Giles.

Buffy paled.

“Giles if this your idea of some kinda sick joke, then please tell me now,” she said.

“No I am deadly serious,” said Giles.

TBC

Chapter 4

Buffy’s hand gripped the armrest of the sofa; she rose quickly from the chair.

“Where is he? I have to go to him,” she said desperately.

“He’s in LA, well he was in LA,” said Giles.

“Well, where is he now?” she asked impatiently.

“He’s on a plane, Willow is bringing him, Buffy we don’t know what to expect, Angel has had him for the last month at Wolfram and Hart.

“Is he okay, does he still have his soul?” asked Buffy.

“All very good questions that Willow will be able to answer when they get here,” said Giles.

“That will be when?” asked Buffy.

“Xander is picking them up at Hopkins International 4am tomorrow morning,” said Giles.

“Xander knows about this too?” asked Buffy angrily.

“Only because he took the call, what do you intend to do?” said Giles

“To be the first person there when that damn plane lands, that’s what,” Buffy replied.

“Do you think that wise?” he asked

“Sense be damned Giles, he needs me, he was always there for me, time to return the favour I think,” She said.

Giles sighed; once Buffy was set on a course there was just no stopping her.

“Well I guess you’ll be coming to Xander’s with me later, what about Dawn?” he asked.

“Think she’s old enough to be home alone, besides she has keys,” said Buffy.

“Okay I have to go return these to the library,” said Giles picking his books up off the table.

Buffy turned and smiled at Giles with a brilliance that had been lacking these past few months. It was like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. Giles Just hoped he had done the right thing; he left the apartment. Buffy just couldn’t stop smiling to herself, then she frowned, wondering how Spike would be, she remembered when Angel had come back from the hell dimension she had sent him to, he’d been little more than an animal. She realised that she was afraid of seeing him again, she took Spike’s lighter from the table and slipped it in her jeans pocket, thinking it might help him to have a familiar object if he was feeling in any way disjointed, going to hell or wherever or back could be a bumpy ride.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Giles and Buffy stood outside Xander’s apartment; Giles rang the bell a second time.

“Are you sure he’s in?” asked Buffy.

Giles checked his watch.

“Of course he’s in, besides I can hear the TV,” said Giles.

The door was suddenly flung open; a petulant looking Andrew was standing there.

“Yes?” he eyed them suspiciously.

“Will you let us in already,” said Buffy pushing past him, Giles following behind.

Buffy walked into the lounge.

“You really ought to do something about your pet poodle,” said Buffy looking at Andrew.

Andrew opened his mouth to say something then Buffy glared at him, Buffy slipped Andrew’s rucksack off her shoulder and chucked it at him.

“Gotta present for you,” she said.

Andrew caught the rucksack awkwardly, almost dropping it. “Where was it? Thought I’d lost it,” he said excitedly.

“Nah, we had it all the time,” said Buffy.

Andrew opened it and looked at Buffy accusingly.

“You’ve been in here,” said Andrew.

“Yeah, you have a lot of Spike love going on in there, I have to say,” she grinned at him.

Andrew flushed bright red.

“I, er think there’s some dishes in the kitchen that need washing,” said Andrew making a hasty retreat.

Buffy looked at Xander.

“It’s okay, I know everything, well as much as you guys any way,” said Buffy.

“She wants to meet him off the plane with you,” said Giles.

“Are you sure Buff? Willow said something about him being sedated,” said Xander.

“Well me and my slayer strength could come in handy then,” said Buffy brightly.

“You wanna stay the night?” asked Xander.

Buffy arched an eyebrow and Giles frowned at him.

“Not like that,” he smiled awkwardly.

“Well that’s settled then, don’t forget to keep me informed of any new developments, I have one of these thing too. Don’t forget,” said Giles extracting his cell phone from his jacket pocket and eyeing it distastefully.

“Don’t worry G-man, we’ll keep you in the loop,” said Xander as he walked him to the door.

“Xander how many times have I told you not to call me tha… never mind, call me okay.” Said Giles.

“How did Buffy take the news?” asked Xander.

“Surprisingly well,” Giles replied.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy paced back and forth at gate 20 of Hopkins International.

“Buffy come and sit down, walking a hole in the floor isn’t going to make the plane get here any quicker,” said Xander rubbing his tired eyes.

Buffy walked over to the window and pressed her head on the cool surface, looking into the blackness of the Cleveland night sky. She was tired too; sleep had been impossible. The indifferent voice of the announcer came over the loudspeaker announcing the imminent arrival of the flight. Buffy clenched her hands together in unbearable tension. She sensed rather than felt Xander come up behind her and put an arm around her shoulder. She turned to him.

“You’ll be okay Buffy, it looks like you have been given a second chance, take it easy you have all the time in the world,” said Xander.

Buffy thought of Anya, she smiled at Xander.

“I’m sorry Xander, I know this must be hard for you, but for different reasons,” she said sadly.

“Yeah, no mystical death for my girl so there’s no coming back for Anya, just as it was for Tara,” he said looking at the floor.

Buffy put a finger under his chin.

“You ok? There’s me all full of the happies,” she said.

“Yeah, you know me, the original survivor, any way it’s great to see you happy again,” he smiled weakly.

“Oh look, I think it’s their plane,” said Buffy unable to keep the excitement from her voice.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn sat awake in her room, the bedside clock said 4:30 am, she wished she could have been at the airport with the others; it was maddening to still be treated as a child at her age. Buffy had been slaying for over two years at her age and saving the world and stuff.

Giles had told Dawn over dinner about Spike. She was still taking it all in. She knew things were not over between her sister and the vampire, many nights she had been woken by her sister screaming out Spike’s name. Maybe it would be a good thing for her sister; She’d been really worried that Buffy had been on the verge of some kind of mental episode. She smiled a little thinking about Spike, he’d really changed those last few months, realising he wasn’t the same person, who had attacked her sister, she surprised herself, realising she’d finally forgiven him for that. If Buffy could move on then so could she.

Dawn yawned, sleep finally coming to claim her as she smiled dreamily, remembering that summer she’d had a crush on Spike, much to her sister’s annoyance.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Gate 20 finally opened and a steady stream of tired looking passengers came out of the tunnel.

“Where are they Xander?” asked Buffy anxiously.

“Don’t worry Buff they are on the plane,” Xander reassured her.

Buffy spied a redhead in the crowd.

“Oh, I think I see Willow,” she cried.

Buffy rushed forward, she stopped short all the breath leaving her body as the crowd parted to reveal Willow purposefully pushing a wheelchair, Buffy paled as she saw who the occupant of the wheelchair was. Willow stopped pushing the wheelchair and put up her hand in greeting, quickly putting it down as she saw her friend’s distress. Buffy hurried to her side and crouched down to look at Spike. His eyes were glazed over, his hair over grown and unruly, not unlike when he’d first come back to Sunnydale and she’s found him living in the school basement.

“Spike? Spike, can you hear me?” she asked.

“I dunno if he can Buffy, a doctor friend of Angel’s gave him a pretty powerful sedative before the flight, the kind that would keep an elephant out of it,” said Willow.

“Why?” asked Buffy,

“Every time we’d try and get him on a plane, he’d totally freak out, had to get him here somehow, had enough trouble giving him the sedative, had to use a binding spell on him,” said Willow.

Spike lifted his head and looked unwaveringly into her green eyes that were bright with unshed tears. He mumbled something unintelligible.

“Don’t try to speak, you’re home now, I am gonna take care of you,” she said squeezing his unresponsive hand.

“They threw me out, they didn’t want me,” said Spike.

Buffy looked at Willow.

“What’s he talking about?” asked Buffy.

Spike started chuckling.

“Oh, yeah Angel sends his love,” he said

Buffy frowned.

“Come on let’s get him out of here, it will be getting light soon,” said Buffy looking at windows.

TBC

        Chapter 5

The trio of friends stopped beside Xander's car, Buffy had insisted on pushing Spike's wheelchair out of the airport, due to the lateness of the hour the parking lot was almost deserted. Xander undid the rear passenger door; Buffy scooped up Spike in her arms and placed him inside the car. Most of the weary travellers dotted around were too tired to notice the strange sight of the tiny blonde woman lifting a man into a car as if he was no more than a baby.

"You want me to ride in the back with him?" asked Willow.

"No thanks, I'm not letting him out of my sight," said Buffy firmly as she got into the car with him.

Willow and Xander exchanged looks, but said nothing as they got in the car. The drive back from the airport was pretty silent; Xander kept glancing at the couple in the back from his driver's mirror. He could see Buffy staring at Spike with such intensity, almost as if she was afraid that he might disappear. He sighed, he couldn't blame her, she'd been to hell and back these past three months.

"Good to have you back Will, really missed you," he said taking a hand off the steering wheel to give her hand a quick squeeze.

"Missed you all, felt kinda guilty about deserting Buffy in her hour of need," said Willow.

Buffy looked away from Spike for a moment.

"It's okay Willow, I understand, the destruction of the hellmouth gave us all a chance to have a new life," said Buffy.

"What was with all the, they threw me out they didn't want me crap, that spike was spouting?" asked Xander.

"I don't know, that's the first coherent sentence any one has managed to get out of him since he was found, even if it doesn't make much sense," said Willow

"So who found him?" asked Buffy.

"Angel, found him in a sewer tunnel, he was in quite a state, filthy almost starved and er naked," said Willow blushing.

"Why'd Angel help him? It's no secret that there's no love lost between those two," said Xander.

"He did it for me, because he knows I care about Spike," said Buffy quietly.

Willow turned her head to look at her friend, seeing the unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"So is the wheelchair a permanent thing or what?" asked Xander.

"No, what with the sedative and my binding spell, he couldn't walk, should be fine in a couple of hours," said Willow.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief; Spike had been through so much, the idea of him being incapacitated would have been terrible. She looked at Spike fast asleep on the seat next to her, his face looked thinner and his cheekbones more prominent. She stroked his cheek, he muttered something in his sleep and tried to turn over in the restraints of his seatbelt.

"Nearly there," Xander announced as the car turned up a suburban street.

Xander brought the car to a halt outside a modern apartment block.

"Wow this is nice," said Willow.

"Yeah Giles leased it off one of his watcher friends," Xander informed her.

"Never mind that we have to get Spike out of here quick, the sun is coming up," said Buffy anxiously.

Xander hurried round and opened trunk getting out Spike's wheel chair, by the time he'd brought it round the backseat was empty, he looked up just in time to see Buffy carrying Spike, slung over her shoulder.

"Guess we won't be needing that," smiled Willow as she followed Buffy into the building.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Giles had been watching from the window, waiting for their arrival. He'd opened up the sofa bed in readiness for Spike's arrival. He was at the door opening it, before Willow's finger managed to make contact with the doorbell. He opened the door wide to let Buffy in. Willow trailed after her and Xander followed a few moments later. Buffy deposited spike gently on the sofa bed, placing a pillow under his head, she sat down on the bed next to him.

"Giles!" said Willow excitedly, giving him a big hug and almost knocking his glasses from his face.

"Sshhh, Dawn is still sleeping," he told her quietly.

"Oops! Sorry, just excited that we're all together again, even if it is under these circumstances," said Willow apologetically.

"How is he?" asked Giles, motioning towards Spike.

Buffy's eyes widened at her watcher's enquiry. It hadn't been that many months ago he'd plotted with Principle Wood to end Spike's very existence.

"Well as far as I can tell, he's still Spike, he doesn't speak much, but I don't know if that is because he can't or he won't," said Willow.

"Maybe he's gone all Looney tunes, like in the school basement," said Xander.

"I don't think that's it somehow, I persuaded Angel that the best course would be to take him to Buffy, he wasn't too hot on the idea at first," said Willow.

"I bet he wasn't, even more so if he knew their history," said Xander.

"He knows, did you get the blood? I want something handy if he wakes," said Buffy quietly.

"Yes, went to a wholesalers after I dropped you off at Xander's last night," said Giles.

Xander looked at his watch,

"It's 6am, I'm sorry to have to leave you all, but I have to be at work in an hour, come on Willow, you're staying at my place," said Xander.

"I'm about ready to hit the sack, you going to be okay here, Buff?" asked Willow.

"You guys go, we'll be fine here," said Buffy eager to be left alone with the man she loved.

Giles saw Willow and Xander to the door.

"Good luck with Andrew," said Giles.

"Oh yeah I forgot, you had Mary Poppins keeping house for you, how's that working out for you?" she teased Xander.

"I'll tell you about it in the car," yawned Xander.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Giles shut the door and went back into the lounge, Buffy had curled up on the bed to lie along side Spike. She looked exhausted and almost as colourless as the man who laid along side her.

"Would you like me to stay and keep watch, if he wakes?" asked Giles.

Buffy smiled sleepily at him.

"No, it's okay you get to bed, I'll know if he stirs," said Buffy.

Giles switched off the main light, leaving Buffy in the soft glow of the Dawn that penetrated the closed drapes. Buffy put her arm gently around Spike, looking into his face, wishing she could see his eyes. He trembled slightly, she held him closer to her and his shaking slowly subsided. He smiled in his sleep, she wondered what he dreamed of, and what ever it was she hoped it was happy.

"Buffy," he muttered in his sleep.

Maybe he was dreaming of her.

"I'm right here, I'm not going any where," she said as her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn opened one eye, as the alarm went off, she hit the snooze button and rolled over. Five minutes later she was rudely awakened as it went off again.

"Dammit," she said hitting the clock.

She got out of bed and rubbed her tired eyes, she'd been awake most of the night, but she hadn't heard them come in. Dawn looked at her sister's bed, it was as neat and unused as she'd left it, the day before. Dawn frowned in concern, maybe something had happened while she had been sleeping. Dawn threw on her robe and knocked quietly on Giles's bedroom door, getting no answer she opened the door a crack. Giles was sprawled out in his bed fast asleep dressed in a very unbecoming pair of flannel pyjamas.

Dawn opened the lounge door and walked sleepily over to the windows, she threw open the drapes, letting the bright early morning sun flood the room.

"Dawn! Shut the drapes," screamed Buffy.

Dawn turned, rendered speechless and motionless with shock, her mouth open as she noticed her sister and Spike for the first time. She quickly recovered herself and started closing the drapes.

"No wait!" said Buffy.

"What now, do you want Spike to turn into dust?" asked Dawn confused.

"Look!" said Buffy urgently.

Dawn looked at the man on the bed, Spike's skin was exposed to the sunlight, but there was no sizzling flesh, or any sign he was in pain from the sun's rays at all.

"I don't get it," said Dawn.

Giles had awoken, when he had heard Buffy cry out. He entered the lounge breathless, holding a stake and cross in his hand. He looked at Buffy and then at Spike.

"Bloody hell," said Giles.

Spike stirred, he could hear voices at a distance, they sounded familiar, like Buffy, but he had heard so many things in his head, this last month, he was afraid that if he opened his eyes, that her voice would go away, like it always did. He felt an arm on his shoulder. If it was that bloody Angel again.. Spike opened his eyes, he squinted a bit at the brightness of the room. It was a strange room, he hadn't seen before, he looked into the face of the woman he loved. He put out a hand to touch her, was it the first playing with him again? He wondered. Was she even real?

He touched her, she felt solid enough.

"Buffy?" he asked.

"Spike," she answered.

He looked around the room in alarm, the sun was shining on his skin, he looked up and saw Giles, maybe he was trying to kill him again. He struggled to get out of the light. Buffy held him back.

"Spike it's okay, look you're not burning," she showed him his bare arm.

"I don't understand, but I'm still a vampire," he said.

"Oh not just a vampire, I'd say on a lucky guess, you're a day walker," said Giles

TBC

Chapter 6

"Day walker?" said Spike in confusion.

"Yes, it's not that hard to explain, unless of course you are wearing sun block two million," said Giles sarcastically.

"Cool," said Dawn.

"Are you hungry Spike?" asked Buffy, eyeing the thinness of his frame.

"Yeah, my tummy is a bit rumbly," said Spike.

"Dawn, go heat some blood," ordered Buffy

"Why is it always me?" she grumbled disappearing into the kitchen.

"Giles, don't you have to get dressed and go do that thing you were talking about?" asked Buffy.

Giles looked at Buffy, in confusion.

"What thing?" he finally took the hint. "Oh, that thing, shall I take Dawn along?" he asked.

"Would you?" asked Buffy.

A few minutes later Giles and Dawn were ready to leave, Dawn pouted at Buffy.

"Don't see why we have to leave just because Buffy wants to get all smoochy with Spike," said Dawn.

Buffy looked embarrassed.

"That is so not the reason why, Spike and I have things to talk about," she said.

"Come on Dawn, I'll buy you breakfast," said Giles, taking her arm and steering her towards the door.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, both not really sure what to say, especially after the way they had parted, the day they had defeated the first.

"I thought you were dead," she said accusingly.

"Was love, did you see what was left of Sunnydale, no one could survive that," he said.

"How'd you know what was left of Sunnydale?" she asked confused.

"Buffy, you've died a few times yourself, you know how it works, the out of body experience as you pass over, saw you, saw all of you, I finally know what you mean when you told me about that feeling of completion, it's indescribable," he said longingly.

"So why'd Angel send you here? According to him, you were beyond his help and sending you to me was a last resort," Buffy said.

"Sorry to see me?" he asked pensively.

"How can you ask that?" she replied.

He smiled in response.

"I was in a state when Angel found me, how much do you know?" asked Spike.

"I know that you were found in a sewer tunnel and worse for wear," she said.

"Yes, but do you know how I got there?" He asked.

"Kinda hoping you'd tell me," said Buffy.

"So she kept her word," said Spike.

"She who?" asked Buffy instantly feeling something akin to jealously rise in her chest.

"Fred, such a sweet girl, she's the only one I talked to when I was staying with Angel, pissed him off something rotten that I wouldn't speak," grinned Spike.

"Told her how I came back, she's quite sympathetic," he smiled fondly.

Buffy didn't want to hear anymore talk of this Fred.

"So you told her everything?" asked Buffy.

Spike looked into her eyes and held her prisoner with his luminous azure gaze.

"No, not everything, there are some things that are only meant to be shared between two people," he replied.

She realised he had steered her off the subject of his resurrection with looks and sweet words, but she didn't care, he would tell her it all when he was ready, there were more important issues to address, things she needed to know.

"Spike, I need to know this, it's important, do you still have your soul?" she asked.

Spike looked at her for a moment, before turning his head away.

"Does it matter?" he asked quietly.

She turned his head back to look at her.

"Not so much to me, but others might not feel the same way," she sighed.

Spike unbuttoned his shirt exposing part of his chest; he laid a hand on it, looking at Buffy.

"It's still all here, does not burn as much as it used to, but I can feel him, guess we've finally made some sort of peace with each other," he smiled sadly.

Buffy noticed the beginning of an ugly looking mark on his chest only slightly exposed by his open shirt.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said defensively

"Let me look," she insisted.

She reached out and peeled back the edges of his shirt, to reveal a star shaped brand scored into his chest.

Spike looked at her, "Courtesy of that shiny bauble, Angel gave you, looks like I came back, scars and all," he shrugged.

The tears fell softly down her cheeks.

"Hey, no crying, it will heal, I think. Come on Buffy it's not like you to go all weepy on me, well maybe it is," he said thinking.

She just cried harder, he wiped away her tears with one hand.

"Tell me what's wrong," he said.

"I should never have left you," she sobbed

"Left me as in broke up with me, or left me as in left me in the hellmouth," he joked, trying to comfort her.

"It's not funny Spike," she said.

His smile faded as he relived his final moments.

"Had to see you right Buffy, I might not have had the strength to finish it, if I hadn't known you were safe,"

"You know I almost stayed with you, don't you?" she asked.

Spike nodded.

"Couldn't do that to the nibblet, she needs you Buffy," said Spike.

"I need you Spike, it wasn't until I had to do without you, that I finally realised it. too late," she said.

"Missed having someone to cuddle up to?" he asked.

"No.Yes, but it was more than that, surely you cannot forget what I said to you, before you ordered me to leave you?" she asked.

Spike bowed his head.

"I haven't forgotten, about that Buffy, you know why I said what I said?" he asked.

"I think so, took me awhile to work it out, but I never claimed to be the sharpest pencil in the box," she smiled weakly at him.

He touched face gently.

"I missed your smile, your face, everything Buffy, I thought I'd never have the chance to look at you again," his voice broke with emotion.

"You don't have to talk about it now, rest, you look exhausted," she said gently.

Buffy rose from the bed, he caught her arm.

"Don't leave me, stay with me, I know I was out of it last night, but while I was dreaming I had the sweetest dream of my life, I could smell you, feel you all around me, it gave me the strength you once said I gave you," he asked.

"It wasn't a dream, I was here with you, I'll be here with you for as long as you need me," she said joining him back on the bed.

"How about forever?" he asked

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew opened the door, he hated it when people turned up unannounced, it caused a disturbance in the force, he saw Mr Giles and Dawn standing there, by the look on Dawns face, intergalactic war had already started.

"Xander here?" asked Giles.

"Sorry, he left for work about half an hour ago," replied Andrew.

"What about Willow?" asked Giles.

"The witch is in the lounge," said Andrew nervously.

He wasn't about to admit that it scared the life out of him being left alone with the means of Warren's destruction.

"You missed out powerful 'she witch' Andrew," said Willow as she silently came up behind him.

Andrew jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice.

"I think I'd better go check on those pancakes I'm making," said Andrew.

"Ooh, chocolate chip?" asked Dawn.

"Maybe," said Andrew.

Dawn followed him in the direction of the kitchen.

"Everything okay Giles?" asked Willow.

"Well there has been one or two developments since you left," said Giles.

"Spike, he's okay?" asked Willow.

"Let's go sit down and I'll tell you all about it," said Giles.

They went into the lounge and sat down, moments later Andrew came in with a plate of hot pancakes.

"Spikes different, he is no longer a common garden variety vampire, let's just say if he wanted to take up sunbathing, he could," said Giles.

Andrew's ears pricked up at the mention of Spike's name.

"Cool, he's like Blade or something?" asked Andrew.

"Interesting idea Andrew, I suppose in a way he is," said Giles.

"You forgot the maple syrup," said Willow, looking at him sternly.

Andrew scurried off in the kitchen to get the missing syrup.

"Willow, stop scaring the life out of the poor boy," Giles reprimanded her gently.

Andrew hastily returned with the syrup bottle and sat down in one of the corner seats, eager for news of his idol.

"I don't understand Spike being able to withstand the suns rays, it was one of the tests Angel insisted that Wes and the others carry out on him, to determine just what he was, he burned just like any other vampire would," said Willow.

"Do you think he is evolving in some way? We still don't know what the amulet might have done to him," said Giles

"True, the wearer isn't usually around to tell the tale," said Willow

"We need answers and at this moment in time Spike's the only one who can give them to us," said Giles.

Willow and Giles rose from their seats.

"Are we on the move again?" asked Dawn, her mouth full of pancakes.

"I don't suppose I could tag along for the ride?" asked Andrew hopefully.

"Don't you have Xander's dirty laundry to do?" asked Willow.

Andrew looked so dejected that she took pity on him.

"Okay, guess it will alright," sighed Willow.

Andrew grabbed his jacket, looking something like an excited puppy.

        * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy awoke, immediately sensing something was not right, she rolled over and touched the empty space where Spike should have been. She sat up, panic clawing at her, maybe the last twenty-four hours had been a dream. She shook her head and got up from the bed.

"Spike! Spike"" she called out desperately, while searching the rooms at the same time.

There was nothing except the electrical humming of the fridge, her head snapped round as she heard the front door opening. Buffy rushed to the front door, in hopes it was Spike, deflated as she saw it was Willow, Giles and Andrew.

"Buffy? What is it?" asked Willow.

"Spike's gone," said Buffy flatly.

TBC