CHAPTER 61 – TRIPPING OVER MY TONGUE

Dawn was in the kitchen when Buffy and Willow returned around 7:00pm.

"Hey guys, how’d it go? How’s Xander?"

"Hi Dawn. Xander’s fine, he sends his love. I think it went alright. He’s going to think about it for a couple of days and let us know."

Dawn nodded. "What did he say when you told him about Spike?"

"He was shocked, of course. I’m not sure exactly what he thinks," Buffy shrugged.

"Buffy didn’t tell you the best part!" Willow said.

"What’s that?"

"He took us to lunch in Manhattan! At Tavern on the Green!"

"Wow! You guys are so lucky. I’ve seen that restaurant on TV, on David Letterman’s show a long time ago. Nice, huh?"

"Very," Willow answered.

"How’s William been?"

"He’s been fine. We had fun. Went to the beach, watched TV, just stuff. He seemed like he was starting to get a little nervous a couple of hours ago. He tried not to show it, but he got sort of fidgety, but then you called to let me know that you’d be here soon, so he’s been alright since then."

"Where is he?" Buffy asked.

"He’s sitting on the deck."

Buffy walked over to the sliding door. She saw him sitting on one of their beach chairs, he was writing something in a notebook, his back to her. She opened the door and went out.

Thinking it was Dawn, he asked, "Did you hear from Elizabeth again?"

Leaning over the chair, Buffy put her hands over his eyes, "Guess who?" she whispered.

William turned around, and gave her such a joyous, unabashed smile, that she couldn’t help but smile back at him the same way.

Had anybody in the world ever been so happy to see her that it lit up their whole face the way it was lighting up his? She didn’t think so.

"You’re back!"

"I am. Did you miss me?"

He nodded, enthusiastically, pulling her onto his lap.

"Always miss you," he said, kissing her, "every minute I don’t see you, it seems like forever."

She kissed him back tenderly, touching his face, "I missed you, too."

Buffy was awarded with another joyous smile from William, "You did?"

"Um-hmm," she said, kissing him again, content and happy, to once again be in his arms.

"How did the visit go with your friend?" he asked her a few minutes later, when they’d come up for air.

The night before they’d gone, she’d explained that Xander was a high school friend of theirs that had been very close to her, Willow, and Dawn the whole time they’d all lived in Sunnydale.

"Good. It was great to see him again."

"Dawn told me all about him when you were gone."

"She did? That’s…good."

"I didn’t get the feeling he liked me very much," William said.

"Why? What did she say?"

"It wasn’t what she said, as much as what she didn’t say."

Buffy looked at him; "It was sort of complicated. I wouldn’t say he didn’t like you, as much as that he didn’t…understand some things."

"What things?"

"You. He just didn’t understand you," she said, then added, "or us."

"Was he…did you and he…?"

"Xander and me? Oh, no. No. We’ve always been just friends."

"I see," William said, afraid to push Elizabeth away with more questions. She always seemed averse to answering any specific questions. After the other day, the first time they’d made love…well, he was learning to just not push her. He was afraid she’d take off again, leaving him alone. Better not to know, than to be alone.

They sat there, arms around each other, in silence, just enjoying the view of the lake and each other.

"It’s nice to see, isn’t it?" Willow asked, coming up to Dawn.

"Yeah, I’m so happy for them, I really am," Dawn agreed, looking out at Buffy and William, entwined in each other.

"I hope…" Dawn started, then stopped.

"What, Dawnie?"

"I just hope that it lasts for them, that nothing bad happens. Damn! I don’t even want to think like this!"

"I know. They haven’t exactly been your conventional couple, have they?"

Willow said, then snorted. "Understatement, much?"

Dawn giggled, "I just hope…they deserve it. Buffy deserves it. Spike deserves it. William deserves it."

"One big deserve-fest."

"Yeah."

Later on, after they’d come back from getting ice cream, as was their nightly ritual, and Willow and William were discussing the English countryside, Buffy found Dawn inside.

"Hey, Dawn, I need to ask you something."

"Sure, what’s up?"

"Dawn, what did you tell William about Xander?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I came back, he said that you’d told him all about Xander, and that he got the impression that Xander didn’t like him."

"I never told him that."

"I know you didn’t. In fact, he said he got it more from what you didn’t say, than what you did say. I want to know what was said, so I know how he got that impression."

Dawn sighed. "I don’t know Buffy. He started asking me about him. I think he thought that maybe he was an old boyfriend or something. Then I told him how I used to have a crush on Xander. How he was always around. You know, helping out. Being there when we needed him. Once I started, I tried to sort of get out of the conversation. I mean, it’s so hard telling him stuff, yet stepping around so much other stuff. It all comes out cryptic, generic."

"I know."

"And he knows that there’s stuff we leave out. He has to."

Buffy nodded, "I know. I think he’s just resigned to that fact, at least for right now."

"Anyway, once I started talking, he started asking me lots of questions. Then he asked me if he and Xander were friends."

"What did you say?"

"I told him they’d been roommates. Twice."

Buffy groaned.

"He wanted to know if it had been in college. I told him, no, that Xander was just helping him out."

"And?"

"And he wanted to know helping him out how. I told him that he’d been having a bit of a rough time. Again, he asked how. I just played dumb and told him that I hadn’t been sure exactly, that you knew."

"Thanks. So, still, Dawn, how did he get the idea that Xander didn’t like him?"

"He asked me, "But Xander helped me, because we were friends, right?"

"And I guess I didn’t answer that exactly the best way."

"What did you say, Dawn?"

"I think I said, ‘More, like he was doing you a favor.’ I’m sorry, Buffy."

"So William just thinks he was a pity case for Xander, now?"

"I don’t know. Maybe. I really am sorry."

"It’s okay, It’s not your fault. I’m constantly tripping over my tongue every time something comes up. I just…if Xander decides to help, I just wanted William to be comfortable around him. You know I had my reservations about asking him because of the way Xander felt about him anyway. In fact, I warned Xander; that if he didn’t feel that he could put the past behind, if he harbored any ill will toward Spike, then he shouldn’t do it, not even for me. I’m just trying to protect William from anymore hurt. That and I guess, well, I was sort of hoping that maybe they could be sort of friends. I don’t think…"

"That he’s ever had a good friend?" Dawn said.

"Well, Spike had Clem. So to speak. But as William? I’m not so sure. Just would be nice, if Xander could sort of bond with him. But now…now if Xander decides to come, I think William will just avoid him."

"I’m sorry, Buffy."

Buffy sighed, "I know."

Later that night, Buffy was in bed waiting for William to come back from the bathroom when she happened to see his notebook on the dresser. Curiosity got the better of her as she started to move towards it. Just then William came into the room, and Buffy, making a save, reached underneath the dresser instead - for the Wal-Mart bag that had been nearly forgotten.

"What’s that?" William asked.

Great. Just great.

"Um…maybe you should read this," she said handing him the bag, blushing.

END CHAPTER 61

CHAPTER 62 – I THANK GOD FOR HER

Had Buffy made it to the dresser and opened William’s notebook, this is what she would have read:

24 June 2008

6:00pm

My love has left me for the day. I fear it is to see an old boyfriend, although Dawn has told me otherwise. Still, I am jealous of this person who has claimed her attentions.

Dawn told me that I have been roommates twice with this man, Xander. And yet, she says that it was because he was doing it for the sake of Elizabeth. If he were interested in her, would he have done this? Let a possible suitor or boyfriend stay with him? I don’t know how long ago this was. I get the feeling that there was no true friendship between us.

I have so many unanswered questions still. Questions that I fear to ask; fear to hear the answers to. Elizabeth, Willow, and Dawn, they talk to me as if I was normal, as if there was nothing unusual about a man of 2008, referring to things from over 100 years ago. I try not to, because then, they pretend, for my sake, I suppose. I don’t understand any of this.

They all know me, but I don’t know me, and they all seem reluctant to tell me anything about myself. I can only guess that whatever I was before, was.....horrid. But then, if it were, if I were, why would they bother with being my friend, now? If this isn’t the case, why don’t they just come out and say, "William, you used to be a teacher, a writer, a clerk…something…" Why do they all protect me from…me?

The only constant in my life is my love for Elizabeth. She must have been sent by the Gods for my salvation, because, without her by my side, in my arms every nigh, I fear I would lose what little mind I have. She is my light. She is my everything.

21June 2008

3:00pm

My heart is mostly joyous right now, watching my love swim with Dawn right now.

I say mostly, because of the events over the past two days.

One thing I can truly say is that I am a man now! And being one, I must learn all I can about women. No. About one woman. Elizabeth.

This morning was glorious, as she and I made love, once more. After yesterday, I wasn’t so sure that would ever happen again.

She left me yesterday and I didn’t think I should ever see her again. Or if I did, that she would talk to me. We had our first fight and it was my fault. I should have been so grateful for her love that I should just shut up and not ask for anything more, yet I did. I asked her to be mine, forever.

She ran.

I can’t say that I blame her. I’d left her before, for 5 years, and now she’s scared. I’ve obviously hurt her before

How could I have left her? I vow, I shall spend the rest of my life making it up to her, so that she is never hurt again.

Even if she refuses to become my wife.

If she hadn’t come back…I don’t think I could have bore it, a life without her. I have no life that I can even remember to return to. My family is dead, according to her, and I have no friends that have been mentioned, save one, a man named Clem.

20 June 2008

1:00pm

Why? How could I have been so stupid? Blathering about, chasing her away. A weight of 10 stones is on my chest now; I don’t feel I shall breath again, until she returns.

20 June 2008

3:15pm

Again and again the words replay themselves in my mind. How could I have said what I said to her, about ‘casual?’ If she comes back, I shall throw myself at her feet and beg her forgiveness.

20 June 2008

5:45pm

I’m so alone.

20 June 2008

8:45pm

They have left me in the cabin and the feeling is of utter desolation. I have to get out, if she does not come back. I can’t stay here and wait to see the inevitable…

There is no home for me without her…

19 June 2008

7:00pm

Tomorrow Elizabeth is taking me into town for a haircut. I am not looking forward to this, to leaving the warmth of the cabin, the safety of it, but I have promised this to her, and so I must.

Every night I hold her, she holds me. Every moment is more glorious than the last one. I can’t wait until night comes, to hold her, kiss her lips, feel her body aside mine, atop mine. I feel I should die from wanting her soon.

Sun and Stars

She is to me

That and more

Life

Love

Breath

Joy

Beauty Eternal

18 June 2008

5:00pm

I fear I’ve turned into what they call a ‘TV addict,’ that is to say, I enjoy the TV a bit too much. I guess with TV, DVD’s, and the Internet, people just don’t find the time to read books as much anymore. Luckily, Willow and Dawn are not like that. As I am not. But must watch to not get ‘addicted’ to the ‘idiot boxes.’ Elizabeth seems somewhere in between. She seems to enjoy some TV, some Internet, and some books.

I think mostly though, she watches me.

And I would rather watch her than anything else, too.

17 June 2008

4:30pm

I’ve decided I like the beach. It’s quite nice here and not nearly as cold as I remember the waters in The Lake District, as having been.

I will do anything I can to please Elizabeth. If she wanted me to run naked in the snow in front of the queen’s carriage, I would do that. Not that she would.

Alas, it’s not even Queen Victoria anymore.

I’ve become quite the expert since yesterday at getting up on, and not falling off of a raft. Even begun to enjoy (rather than being nauseated by) the waves as they come rolling under us, caused by extremely loud and fast ‘personal watercraft’ or boats. Elizabeth is quite fond of the sensation for some reason.

She likes me to place my hand on her stomach, quite low, when the boat goes by. Today, she placed her hand on my stomach, as her eyes sparkled in a teasing way. It was…um…quite nice.

16 June 2008

6:30pm

Elizabeth talked me into going to the beach with her today. I was quite embarrassed to be seen in so little attire, even if ‘everyone’ else is.

However, after walking up to me in her ‘bikini’ and kissing me…well, I forgot all about my own modesty as I tramped after her like the puppy dog that I feel I am. But the beach was quite nice, the water lovely, and when she locked her legs around me in the water. Oh, I am putty in her hands. And legs.

I don’t know how much more I can stand of only kissing her, having her so near, feeling her heat so near me. Part of me is ashamed that I can not control myself better than any common animal. Yet, God made us to fit one another, to be pieces of the puzzle. To fit. How can that be wrong, then? To fit into her, like one puzzle piece into another? Surely, not!

15 June 2008

8:30pm

I feel like Jules Verne’s character. I have so much to learn. How can I have forgotten this world? Is this my world? Or did I come from another time? Surely not, for no man lives for over 150+ years! Yet it is not, only what I don’t remember, but what I do.

I have been reading the books on inventions that Willow has so kindly purchased for me. I am in complete awe of the marvels that man could not even conceive of back in…what I remember.

I have looked at the marvels of the ‘computer’ and the ‘Internet.’ Imagine, music coming out of a machine like this. Machine. So many machines. And TV? Pictures, stories, history, so many things, so very, very many images…

At least some things seem timeless. Nature and love. The things that make a heart glad, they appear to still be timeless.

I have learned so many things. And I have learned to use a grill. Very much like the stove I remember, only outside. Still uses a form of coal. Inside, it’s a much larger one, using ‘electricity.’ Lights, not candles. Another thing I do not recall from any of my memories.

Elizabeth. She’s amazing.

Everytime she looks at me, touches me, kisses me. Me! I almost can forget that I don’t remember her, except from a few days ago. How can this be? It seems like a terrible crime, that I should not remember the face of, the comforting embrace of the woman behind my salvation. Elizabeth.

So dark, so empty, so hopeless; was my world only a couple of days ago.

And then she came into it.

Light, full, hopeful, is my world now.

Words fail me, what she has meant to me. Means to me. Words cannot express; are not enough.

I thank God for her.

Elizabeth.

She is my home.

END CHAPTER 62

CHAPTER 63 – SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN

June 27, 2008

Friday

10:00am

"Not yet! Too early for school," Dawn mumbled, dreaming.

Ring, ring, ring.

Dawn flailed about, trying to hit the snooze on a non-existent alarm clock.

Ring, ring, ring.

Dawn opened her eyes, "Huh? Phone? Phone!"

She jumped up and went to look to see where the ringing was coming from. Finally she located the source inside of Buffy's purse.

She fought through the maze of things until she could locate the phone.

"Hello?"

"Dawn?"

"Xander?" Dawn squealed, excitedly.

"Yeah, it's me! How you been, Dawnster?"

"Great, Xander. Just great! How about you."

"I've been great, too."

They talked of school and his family for a while, until the subject of Buffy and Spike came up.

"Are they...you know, together?"

"Yes," Dawn answered. She could almost see him shaking his head.

"So, what do you think about it?" he asked Dawn.

"About what?"

"About all of it. Spike being a human; William. What's he like by the way? Him and Buffy together, after all this time?"

Dawn let out a breath. Not making this easy are you Xander, she thought.

"Okay, first of all, William is shy, self-deprecating, kind, good-natured, and totally different in that way from Spike. He doesn't swear, is intelligent in a book-learning sort of way. Self-reflective. Lots of things. I can't say anything about him that is negative. As for his similarities to Spike, well, there are his looks. At least, once we made him go get a haircut and get rid of the sideburns. Oh, but his hair is a light, to medium brown, so different from Spike's there. Oh, and the other similarity is that he's crazy about Buffy. Although, he calls her Elizabeth, but that's because, after he died she changed her name."

"What? Whoa, back up Dawn. She changed her name?"

"Um, yeah. She goes by Elizabeth Worthington now. Elizabeth Anne Worthington."

"Where did she get that name from?"

"It's William's last name. He left her a house and she took his name."

"A house? A house? Spike owned a house?"

"Yeah. He had it for about 50, 60, 70 years. I'm not sure."

"A house?" Xander asked again. "And he left it to her? How the hell did he do that?"

"From what Buffy says, he willed it to her. He had a lawyer draw up papers."

"What?"

"When they went away around Valentines' Day back in 2003. You know, after she went out to that dinner with Robin Wood, when you went out with that demon girl."

He groaned, "How could I forget?"

"Well, Spike took Buffy to the house, and I guess he sort of figured that he wasn't going to come back from that fight, and if he didn't, he wanted to give her the house. Left some money to her and for me, too."

"I never knew. Not in my wildest dreams would I have thought..."

"Don't feel bad, it's only recently that Buffy even told me all of that. I still don't even know where the house is."

Xander shook his head.

"Why Elizabeth, then?"

"Spike introduced her to this old woman who owns a restaurant that he helped out over the years, as Elizabeth. He just thought it was her 'real' name. He didn't know that Buffy was all mom named her; that it wasn't short for Elizabeth."

"Oh."

"As for William or Spike being together with Buffy, or Elizabeth...I'm happy for her. As much as she's done, gone to school, become a teacher, all that...there was still this sadness about her. I don't think she's ever been happy since Spike died."

"And she is now?"

"Really happy. Truly happy. They both seem so happy; it makes me want to cry for her, honestly. For both of them. They deserve this, Xander. It's a second chance for both of them."

"You don't resent him anymore? What he was? What he tried to do to her?"

"Oh, Xander. It's water under the bridge. He atoned, he went out and got a soul. Then he died so Buffy could have a normal life and so that the world didn't end. Who am I to hold a grudge in the face of that? Who is anybody?"

Dawn was quiet for a minute, waiting for Xander to say something.

"Thanks, Dawn."

"For what?"

"For telling me all that."

"So? Are you? Are you? Are you?"

"He laughed, "Yeah, guess I am."

She squealed, causing him to hold the phone out from his aching eardrum.

"I love you Xander!"

"Yeah, that's what you tell all your old crushes."

"Not too old. If only you weren't married!"

He laughed. "Let me talk to Buffy."

"Okay, hold on!"

"Buffy!" Dawn called, knocking on William and her sister's bedroom door.

"Huh? What?" Buffy answered, rousing herself from sleep and the warmth of William's arms around her.

"Xander's on the phone," Dawn answered.

"Okay, be right there."

"No hurry, I'll talk to him for a few more minutes."

William slightly stiffened hearing the other man's name mentioned.

"I got to take this," Buffy said, giving William a kiss.

"I understand," he said, slightly miffed.

Buffy smiled, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're jealous, William!"

He tried not to look at her.

"Don’t be," she said, kissing him again, this time her tongue exploring his mouth, until he felt his heart beating hard against his chest. "You're the one. The only one."

He pulled her over towards him, possessively, as his hand cupped a breast, making her moan, "The one what?"

"The one," she said, trying to pull away.

"The one, what?" he insisted, his tongue, teasing her, his fingers running over her breast lightly, the way that always made her gasp, as she tried to push them further into his knowing hands.

"The only man I love!"

He smiled, at her, releasing her from his arms, "And you, I."

"What? I'm the only man you love?" she asked in mock horror.

"Woman," he said, laughing softly, "you, Elizabeth Anne Worthington, are the only woman I love. The only one I've ever truly loved." He kissed her. "Satisfied?"

She nodded, smiling, "Well...emotionally yes, otherwise, think that will have to wait," she said, winking and getting up, and quickly putting on her clothes.

Buffy saw Dawn on the deck and went outside.

"Oh, here’s Buffy," Dawn said, hearing the door, and handed Buffy the phone.

"Hey, Xander."

"Hey, Buff."

"What’s up?"

"I’ll do it."

"You’ll do it? That’s wonderful, you don’t know how relieved I am!"

Buffy saw Willow walking up from the beach and called out to her, "Willow! It’s Xander, he said he’d drive us!"

"Yeah!" Willow called back, giving Buffy a ‘thumbs up.’

"We have to call that RV place later," Buffy said.

"Buffy! Buffy!" Xander yelled into the phone.

"Hold on, Willow. Xander?"

"Buffy, you don’t have to rent an RV," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"That’s what I was going to tell you. Angela’s parents have one. Anyway, they were just about to take the RV on the road, when they had to fly out to Kansas, because Betty’s mother, that’s Angela’s mother’s mother, was hospitalized."

"And?"

"So, I talked to them, and they would like to resume their vacation plans. All I have to do is to bring the RV to them. I’ll come pick you guys up and we’ll all drive to Kansas. Oh, and Angela and the kids are coming. Betty wants her mother to get to spend some time with them."

"That’s wonderful," Buffy said, then asked, "but what about past Kansas?"

"No problem. I’ll drop off Angela and the kids, drive you guys the rest of the way, then double back to Kansas and meet up with them there."

"Oh, Xander, I don’t know how to thank you…wait. You’d have to drive all that way back to Kansas by yourself? I don’t think that would be…"

"I help him," Willow said, who’d been standing nearby listening, "as soon as we drop off you, William, and Dawn, I’ll drive back to Kansas with Xander and fly home to England from there."

Buffy smiled and mouthed, ‘Thank you!’ to Willow; "Did you hear that Xander?"

"Loud and clear!"

Xander went on to describe the RV the best he could to Buffy. "We’ll bring along a big 3 room tent that Angela and the kids and I usually use. Otherwise, it will be too crowded at night."

"We’ll use the tent," Buffy said.

"No, you guys can have the bedroom. We’re used to sleeping outside in the tent. Besides, we have sleeping bags and all that stuff."

"But Xander, what about the babies? Wouldn’t they be better off inside?"

"Thanks for the concern, Buffy. But we’ve been camping with both of them all along, since they were born."

"I don’t know what to say Xander. I really think you guys should have the RV, though."

"Don’t worry about it, Buffy. If Angela wants it, then we’ll give you guys the tent. Satisfied?"

"Yes. Thank you. For everything."

"You’re welcome. Now tell me when to be there."

Xander listened, "Okay then, we’ll see you guys next Wednesday. Sounds like a plan."

END CHAPTER 63

CHAPTER 64 – THE INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE

Buffy hung up the phone and turned to Willow, smiling.

"I knew he'd do it! I just knew it!" Willow said.

"I wasn't as sure as you were, but I'm glad he is."

"So, now what?"

"I guess I should call Leroy and tell him when we're leaving. Tell William. Buy anything we need. Buy Xander’s kids something. What do you think we need?"

"Food. I don't know what else."

"I should have asked Xander. I'll call him back later."

Buffy went back in and went into the bedroom.

"You look happy," William said, seeing her smiling.

"I am. The reason I went to see Xander the other day was to ask him if he would help us drive back to California."

"I see. So is he?"

"Yes! And we're going to get to meet his family, too! Oh, and the best part, well, maybe not best, but a good part, is that he already has a RV we can use to drive. It's his in-laws, so he's going to bring it to them in Kansas, drop off Angela and the babies, then drive us the rest of the way."

William just looked at her trying to digest all of it. Xander. Kids. Kansas. RV. "I see," he said, not even realizing that Elizabeth had just taken off her clothes again, and crawled under the covers next to him, until she kissed him.

"Umm," he said, coming back to the very present moment, "what was that for?"

"Remember how I said I was emotionally satisfied," she answered, arching her eyebrows, "think I'm ready for some other satisfaction now, too."

He growled, low in his throat, reminding her of Spike, as he rolled over on top her, grasping her arms over her head for a second, as he pressed his mouth to her breasts, "You're a saucy one, aren't you?"

"That's me! Saucy me! Hot sauce me!"

"Gonna eat you up!" he murmured into her breasts.

"Oh, God, I hope so," she said, and pushed him down lower to show him exactly how.

They lay in each other’s arms afterward, "That was amazing," he said.

"Yeah. You were amazing, William."

"No, you were. I never imagined..." he turned to kiss her, the taste of her still on his lips, "how I could pleasure you in that way. I hope I..."

"You were wonderful, you heard me scream, didn't you?"

He smiled, rather proudly, pulling her toward his chest, "Yes, quite. That and I believe you may have pulled out some of my hair."

"Sorry about that," she apologized, giggling.

"That's alright, I didn't really mind. Didn't even really notice it right then."

He lay there, tracing patterns on her back with his hand, as he nuzzled into her hair. Never had he felt more content than he did at that moment. Elizabeth was his. His woman. What a revelation all she had shown him in the past two weeks had been. Love. Life. Love. He had only vaguely dreamed of such a love as he had with her. Never really dared to give into that type of fantasy. He had only hoped that some woman, some day would love him back, make a marriage with him, hopefully not be too cold when it came to pleasures of the flesh.

Elizabeth, though, she just didn't just allow his ministrations; she was a full participant! Many times, it was she who initiated their lovemaking. Warm, hot, sensual, loving, giving, receiving, enthusiastic, beautiful. How could he ever have imagined that some silly bint like Cecily, or those other girls he thought he remembered could ever satisfy him? Now he knew. He was a man, a fully awake, passionate man.

Knowing this kind of passion was bittersweet, though. It made him afraid; afraid of what he could lose, afraid of being alone again one day. To be alone now? After having known this was more than he knew he could ever bear. It’s one thing to have always been alone and only wishing for a great love, but to have had one and then…

He pulled Elizabeth in closer still, "Are you real?" he asked her, not for the first time.

"I am," she answered, not for the first time, "and so are you."

William sighed, "Sometimes I can barely believe you're real; that this is real."

"I know. Me either."

She leaned up on her elbow, putting her hand on his face, "Let me show you just how real you are," she said and with that, disappeared under the covers.

"Oh my," William said, as his eyes closed, "oh my!"

"Real enough?" she asked, looking up.

"Oh, God yes!

Buffy called Leroy to let him know when they were leaving and to thank him for the use of the cabin and everything he had done. He told her him and his cousin were still planning on coming up the following Friday.

"How you guys doing? You and William?" he had asked.

"Unbelievably okay," she’d replied.

"His memory come back?"

She hesitated, "No, but things are still good. He’s adapting pretty well, I’d say."

"Hmmm. That’s good. I’m glad for you. Both of you."

"Again, I can’t thank you enough for everything you did for me. If you hadn’t been there…"

"You still would’ve figured it out, Elizabeth. Of that, I’ve no doubt."

"And this place was just what we all needed. It’s beautiful, peaceful…"

"What I tell you?"

"If you ever get out to California, I want you to call me."

"You know I will. Gonna stay for a couple of weeks with you and William," he answered, chucking, "me, my cousins, maybe bring Bernie and Dr. Turner along, too!"

She laughed. He’d been a good friend.

"Goodbye Leroy Roberts."

"Goodbye Elizabeth Worthington."

The next days passed both slowly and quickly.

Slowly, in the time they spent just being lovers. For Buffy, it was like discovering a part of herself; that not only had she thought she’d lost forever, but one that she’d barely known. Giving herself, loving another as fully as she felt she was falling for William, not holding back, this was the stuff she’d never allowed herself to hope for, wish for, in the past. As close as she’d been to having that, the one weekend with Spike in Julian, it was still tinged with the shadow of The First hanging over their lives.

As her life had been going in the last years, love was surely not anywhere on her radar. She had tried to push the past behind her and just focus on trying to be a capable person. A person who could go to school, work at a ‘normal’ job. Love was best left alone.

For William, he felt like he was growing into a person; a man, that he would never have recognized only a few weeks back. Or as far back, as what he considered, his faulty memory, to be. Elizabeth had opened both his eyes and his heart to what it truly meant to be a man. He chided himself for what had, in the past, been his weak attempt to define what love was in his poetry. The love he felt for her was so big, so encompassing, so huge, he knew that he could not even come close. He wanted to love her the rest of his life. Love her, protect her, worship her, and never, ever, ever, leave her again. Or do anything that would make her want to leave him.

And they were both terrified.

But the days went by quickly for all of them, too. Now they were in countdown mode, only 5 more days, only 4 more days, and so on.

It was finally Wednesday morning and Xander and his family would be there sometime this evening. The next morning they would be leaving.

The night before had been particularly sweet, poignant even, as Buffy and William made love for the last night, in which there was just the original four of them there at the cabin, in what had become ‘their bed,’ ‘their home,’ for the past 19 days.

That night he had pulled her over on top him, like he had done in those first days, before they had actually made love, and they had just kissed, for what seemed like hours, kissed and rubbed, and moaned in desire to one another. And when they finally gave in to the passion, it had once again, seemed like the first time.

The next morning had again, been full of that same sweetness of the night before, as if they were reluctant to break contact; to start a day, that also meant beginning a series of endings.

And so it was. When they finally did begin the day, it was doing chores that had to be done before leaving, laundry, a trip to the grocery store, filling up Leroy’s car, putting away things they’d used that wouldn’t be used again. Swimming one last time and deflating the rafts they’d used.

William tried to be of use that day, but most of the chores were done by Willow, Dawn, and Elizabeth. He was assigned cleaning out the grill and putting away the dishes. Every time he looked around the cabin, it made him sad to see the things that had already been moved in that pre-packing way people had of getting ready for an actual move. He looked at the rooms, the furniture, the deck, the lake, and part of him ached to have to say goodbye to it all.

Buffy saw him standing in the living room looking out the window. An afternoon cloud burst had started and the lake grew dark as the storm came in.

She came up behind him and hugged him, resting her head on his back, "Looks sort of lonely, doesn’t it?"

He nodded, "Yes, but beautiful, too."

"It does."

"We’ll be okay, you know," she said.

He nodded, not trusting his voice.

"I won’t let…I promise you, when we get home, we’re still going to have this," she said, coming around and facing him, "we’ll still have us, this closeness, this love."

He looked into her eyes and saw both the fears and hopes that he felt. He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips, "I know. As long as you’re with me, long as we’re together."

As they were just finishing dinner that night on the deck, they heard a loud horn sound in front of their cabin.

"I bet that’s Xander," said Buffy, hurrying to get up.

Willow and Dawn ran down the deck steps and sprinted toward the front of the cabin. Buffy started after them, then looked back at William, "Aren’t you coming?" she asked.

"I…I’ll be there shortly. I’ll just clean up here and let you guys catch up for a few minutes."

Buffy hesitated, then walked back to him, "It’s going to be fine. Xander is great, you’ll see!" Then she kissed him quickly on the cheek and hurried down the steps.

"Xander!" Buffy cried as she came around. He was already out of the RV and in the middle of a Willow and Dawn embrace, when she came up, joining the group hug.

"Hey guys, this is my wife Angela," Xander said as a woman with long dark hair holding the hand of a little boy came down the RV steps," and this little fellow is Alex, and the baby is still asleep inside, right?"

Angela nodded, "It’s nice to meet all of you, Xander has told me so much about all of you over the years, I feel like I know all of you."

"I’m Buffy, this is my sister Dawn, and my our friend, Willow."

"I’ve seen all of your pictures, it’s nice to see you in person now."

"Alex, right?" Willow said to the boy.

He nodded.

"That’s a nice name and you’re a handsome fellow, just like your daddy."

"Now she tells me," Xander said, grinning, and getting an elbow jab from Angela.

"Where’s Spike?" Xander whispered to Buffy.

"William," she said, using his name with inflection, "is cleaning up our dinner plates, he didn’t want to intrude on the reunion, I think."

Xander made some sort of face and Buffy looked at him, eyes pleading.

"I’ll behave," he whispered.

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" Alex said suddenly.

"Want me to take you, Alex?" Dawn asked.

He shook his head, and went around the back of Xander, clinging to his legs.

"I’ll take him back in the camper," Xander said.

"No, take him in the cabin, the bathroom is right off the kitchen, as soon as you walk in. Want me to go with you?"

"No, I can find it, stay here and talk with the girls."

Xander took Alex by the hand and they walked into the front porch and then the kitchen.

William was standing by the sink, washing dishes when the door opened. He looked as he saw a man with a black eye patch, dark hair, a little bit on the heavy side, and a little boy walk in.

"Oh, there it is…" he stopped, an astonished look on his face, as he saw a man who looked like Spike, but yet looked very different. His hair was a light brown, and his clothes were subdued. Instead of all black and leather, he wore a light blue T-shirt, tan khaki pants, and sandals. And the look on his face, not at all the smirking countenance Xander remembered.

"Who is that daddy?" Alex asked, as he saw the two men looking at each other.

"Um…this is Spi…this is William," he said, "William, this is my son, Alex."

William looked down at the boy and smiled a genuine smile, "Nice to meet you, Alex," he said, as he squatted down and extended his hand.

Alex smiled back and shook William’s hand. "Nice to meet you, I have to go to the bathroom."

William smiled and rose up, pointing to the bathroom.

"Want me to go in with you?" Xander said.

"No, daddy, I can do go myself."

"He might have a hard time with the soap. Oh wait, there’s a little footstool," William said, and went to retrieve the plastic stool that had been on the porch.

"Here you go," he said, handing it to Xander.

"Thanks," he took it in to Alex and positioned it in front of the sink for him. He decided to stay in with him, to make sure he could work the water without burning himself.

They came out of the bathroom, "Why don’t you tell your mommy that I had to go potty too?" he told Alex, motioning to Angela that he was coming to her.

"When are you coming out Daddy?"

"I’ll be right there in a couple of minutes."

"Okay, daddy! Bye William!"

"Bye Alex!"

"Cute kid," William said, when Xander came back into the kitchen."

"Yeah, we kind of like him," he laughed, looking at Spike.

"How old is he? Three? Four?"

"Four, just turned."

They just looked at each other for a couple of minutes.

"So, how have you been, Spike? I mean William?" he said, flinching at his error.

"It’s alright. I know that’s the name I used to go by, even though I don’t remember. They, Willow and Dawn, slip up once a while and call me Spike. Even Elizabeth does sometimes. I don’t mind anymore."

"You mean Buffy, right?"

"Yes, Buffy. I know that’s what most people call her. Her friends at least, but the first time I ever knew she existed, at least since I can remember, I’ve known her as Elizabeth, so," he shrugged, "a rose by any other name, right?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry, a line from Shakespeare."

"Oh, yeah, right," Xander said, getting annoyed with the new and improved Spike.

"So what should I call you, then?"

William looked at him, trying to tell if the question was meant to be friendly, or as he suspected, held some other feelings. "Whatever makes you the most comfortable, of course."

"Okay, then."

"Alright."

"So, how have you been, Spike?"

William sighed, it was as he suspected, "Did Elizabeth tell you about the hospital and such?" he asked.

Xander nodded.

"Well, I guess since then, I’ve been alright. I don’t seem to remember anything that I should, so I’m sort of lost as far as knowing how things work," he laughed, self-deprecatingly. "I guess I’m learning, though. I can work a microwave, answer a cell phone, and even ‘google’ on Willow’s laptop."

"That’s a start. If anyone can ‘google,’ then I guess they’re doing alright. Do you remember how to drive?" Xander asked, as an afterthought.

William shook his head, "I don’t even like to ride in cars!"

Xander laughed, "Well, you’d better get over that quick!"

"I know," he said, "gonna be a long drive, huh?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Buffy walked in, and smiled as she heard the laughter.

"Hey guys, what’s ya doing?"

"Um, Spike," then he looked over and smiled at him, "William and I were just getting reacquainted."

"That’s nice," she said, patting Xander on the shoulder, then walking up and putting her arm around William’s waist. His hand automatically did the same, as he smiled, pulling her in towards him.

The way they were comfortable around each other was not lost on Xander. When he’d last seen them together, he knew there was something strong between them, even though they tried to hide it from everyone else. Anya had pointed it out many times, when he wouldn’t have paid attention. He also knew that Buffy had spent the last night in Sunnydale in the basement with Spike, as he, Giles, Andrew, and Amanda played Dungeons & Dragons.

Although his first reaction was almost anger or revulsion, he quickly checked his emotions, telling himself that Buffy was a grown woman and obviously, William a grown man, and that was that. He’d promised himself, before agreeing to this trip, that he would try to let bygones be bygones, as hard as that might seem.

"I’m going to go out and check up on Angela. Is the baby awake?"

"Yeah, she’s awake, we saw her a couple of minutes ago when she awoke. She’s precious Xander. Ann, right?"

"Yeah, after Anya."

"I know," Buffy said, her eyes getting moist. "We’ll be right out."

"Okay," Xander said, smiling at her and hurrying out.

"Who was Anya?" William asked, when Xander had left.

"Um, she was Xander’s girlfriend. In fact, he almost married her. Long story."

"She died?" Spike asked, looking at her.

"Yes. Same time you…the time when Sunnydale collapsed."

"I’m sorry."

"It’s okay. I’m just so glad that we all are here. Together," she said, and turned around, putting her arms around him and kissed him.

"Me, too."

Buffy and William went out to join the group and Xander and Angela invited all of them to have a look around inside the RV.

"Wow, this is so cool," Dawn said.

"Yeah, this is huge!" Willow said.

Angela showed them all of the rooms and cabinets, storage, and pullout beds.

The women took a turn holding the Ann, who was just beginning to walk, but still wanted to be held most the time.

When it was Buffy’s turn, she felt a little awkward, having not held one this small for quite a while, but then she settled into a chair, as Ann, studied her face and played with her necklace.

"How old is she?"

"Fourteen months," Angela answered, just as Ann slipped down from Buffy’s lap and went to her mother.

"Oh, it’s almost 9:00pm," Dawn said, suddenly.

"What does that mean?" Asked Xander.

"Ice cream time," Willow, Buffy, and William all said at once.

"The little store closes in an hour, so this is the time every night we make a run for ice cream."

"I see, well, count us in," he said, as he scooped up Ann, and motioned for Angela, and Alex to follow him.

Alex took off in a run, and it wasn’t but a couple of seconds later, that he fell on the rocks. He started crying.

William had been right behind him, and kneeled down to see what was the matter.

"Oh, poor Alex, let me see," he said, in a sympathetic voice, "oh, you’ve cut your knee on these sharp rocks. How about after we go for ice cream, that you let me see if we have any bandages for it back at the cabin?"

Cry, cry, gulp, gulp, "Ohhhh…kaaaaay," Alex said, then put his arms around William’s neck.

William smiled at the sudden affection of the small boy, "Would you like me to carry you over to the ice cream store?"

Alex nodded.

"Alright then, seeing as you have a bum knee and all," he said winking at Alex.

Alex giggled between sniffles.

As they were ordering their ice cream, William said to Elizabeth, "Why don’t you get one of those frozen ice things, too. Alex can put it on his knee."

She smiled at him, "Good idea! I’ll take one of those red things, too," she told the girl behind the counter.

"Now this is just for your knee, Alex," William said.

"Can I eat it, too?" he asked.

"Well, why don’t you just eat your ice cream cone first, then if your knee feels better, and if it’s alright with your mommy and daddy, then maybe you can have it."

"Okay," he said, happily licking his cone, which was melting on both him and William, who was now covered in both blood and ice cream, but smiling happily.

Buffy looked at him and smiled.

Xander had been ready to rush in and scoop Alex from William when he first picked him up, but Alex had seen so taken with him, and he reminded himself that Spike wasn’t a vampire any more.

Buffy was standing by the rails of the porch in front of the little store, while the rest of them were sitting on the picnic benches. Xander came up and stood next to her.

"Who’d have thunk it, eh Buf?" Xander said, motioning back to William and Alex.

She looked back over at William and smiled at him, when he looked up, "Yeah, who’d have thunk it," she said to Xander.

They went over to the swing, to finish their ice cream, then took a walk on the beach and the dock.

Xander and William were on the dock while the others decided to take off their shoes and walk along the shore.

"Do any fishing?" Xander asked William.

"No, I don’t like fishing, I don’t like to kill things."

Xander looked at him. Was he kidding? He figured not. "Well, that’s just kinda wussy."

"What do you mean? Wussy?" William said, stiffening.

"As in, ‘wuss,’ a man who doesn’t like to fish," then went on to explain, "it’s not killing, it’s not like drinking bl…I mean it is killing them, but…you like to eat fish don’t you?"

William nodded.

"Well, someone has to catch and kill them in order for you to eat them," he said.

"I guess…I just never…I don’t know how," he said, miserably.

Xander looked at him. William was turning out to be as strange in his own way, as Spike had been in his.

"I’ll show you sometime, okay?"

"Thank you. I’d like that, Xander," William said.

Later on, they all came into the cabin for a while.

As they were sitting talking about the next morning, all of a sudden Buffy cut in, "Xander, do you think you could take a quick look at Leroy’s car? It sounded a bit, um, I don’t know, rough today? I don’t know if anything is wrong, but just hate to leave him a problem."

"Sure, I’ll go look at it. Want to show me what’s wrong, Buffy?"

"Sure, Xander."

He looked back at William talking to Angela, Willow, and Dawn."

"William, want to come with?"

"Um, sure."

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked him.

"Giving William an education, that you women obviously can’t."

"Chauvinist!"

"Look Buff, you and Willow were better at lots of things; slaying, magic, etc. So, at least I can be better at engines and carpentry, okay?"

"Deal."

Once outside, Xander opened up the hood and had Buffy start the car.

"What do you hear William?" Xander asked him.

"I don’t know, what am I supposed to hear?"

"Well, you’re supposed to be hearing a nice smooth sound."

"Buffy, step on the gas."

"How about now?" he asked William again.

"Well, it seems to be rather chugging?"

"Exactly!

William looked pleased with himself.

"Buffy, can you bring me a screwdriver?"

"Yeah, I think there’s one in one of the drawers," she said, going into the house.

"…and that’s why the air and the gas have to mix inside the engine…"

"Which is mixed together when you use the accelerator?"

"Good, that’s a simple, but correct explanation of the internal combustion engine."

"Combustion engine," William mouthed softly, "you’re going to have to explain that to me again, Xander."

"Yeah, I will, once we’re on the road, we’ll have plenty of time for that."

"I look forward to it."

"You do?" Xander said, feeling some strange sense of pride.

William nodded.

"Hey, Xander, here’s the screwdriver."

"Give it to William, I want to show him how easy this is."

"You sure?"

"It’s a screw, Buffy, now, go inside."

Buffy opened her mouth in protest, then grinned and walked inside. This was going smoothly so far. She crossed her fingers. Just hoped the rest of the trip would be like this, as well.

Xander and William came back inside. William was kind of looking rather proud. And full of grease. Grease, blood, ice cream; it was the first time she’d seen anything on any of his new clothes.

She smiled at him, all the while thinking, she wasn’t going to be able to get those puppies clean anytime tonight. On the other hand, if he could mess with a car, and use a grill, he could learn the finer arts of stain removal!

"Well, cars running fine now, just needed a little fuel injection adjustment, isn’t that right William?"

"That’s right, Xander."

The women all giggled over the male bonding taking place over a car.

"What’s so funny?"

"Nothing," they all said.

Xander and William looked at each other and shrugged.

"Okay, time for my troop to hit the hay," Xander said, nodding toward Angela, "we should leave about 5:30am, if we hope to get to St. Louis tomorrow."

"St. Louis? As in Missouri?" Buffy asked.

"No, as in St. Louis, Florida."

Buffy looked at him, blankly.

"Yeah, Buffy, St. Louis, Missouri. I booked a campground, just outside of there. Sounds nice."

"Oh, okay. Goodnight, guys!"

"See you in the morning!"

END CHAPTER 64

TBC...OKAY, I DIDN'T QUITE GET THEM OUT OF CABIN, BUT THE VERY NEXT WORDS WILL HAVE THEM ON THE ROAD TO ST. LOUIS! HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THE XANDER PARTS. I REALLY DEBATED IF I COULD FORGIVE XANDER ENOUGH FOR HIS BULL-HEADEDNESS REGARDING SPIKE IN ORDER TO LET THEM INTERACT. GLAD I DID NOW, HOPE YOU GUYS ARE, TOO!

CHAPTER 65 - ON THE ROAD

The alarm went off at 5:00am, causing Buffy to groan, as she mumbled, "Hit the snooze, hit the snooze."

William was still mostly asleep, snoring quietly.

"Ug," she moaned, leaning over him to hit the snooze button.

Still asleep, his arms went around her, pulling her close to him. She smiled, and settled on his chest for a few more blissful minutes of sleep and closeness.

In what only seemed like seconds, rather than minutes, the alarm once again went off.

"Damnit!" she said, turning it off for real this time. Xander had wanted to be on the road at 5:30am. That gave her and William only 20 minutes to get up and out.

"William," she said.

"Huh?" he mumbled, in his sleep.

"We have to get up. It's after 5 and we only have 20 minutes before we're supposed to leave.

He groaned, opening his eyes. He pulled her toward him and kissed her.

She broke the kiss of after a minute, "I'm sorry. We have to get up. Afraid there's no time for that this morning," she said.

He stuck out his lower lip, pouting, "Oooo."

"Yeah, me, too, but we really have to get going. I can hear the others already.

"Buffy, William, rise and shine!" Dawn said at their door.

"We're up, just getting up," she answered.

"See?" she said to William.

"I know."

The night before, they had made love once more, staying up later than they should have. Buffy decided they could perhaps sleep during some of the trip the following day. Heck, she or William weren't driving.

They sat on the side of the bed, pulling on their pants.

"Wish I'd showered last night," she said.

"Yeah, me, too. Got all sorts of stuff on me last night."

Buffy giggled.

"Buffy!" Willow called.

"We're getting dressed," she called back.

"Got some travel cups yesterday, so fill 'em up, coffee's made."

"Thanks, Willow."

"Don't think we'll have time for breafast, have to get something on the road," she said to William, who had yet to have any fast-food.

"Okay."

They packed the few things they hadn't packed already in the small suitcases that Willow and Dawn had bought for them on their last trip to Wal-Mart.

Then they changed the sheets to the new, clean ones that she'd purchased, leaving a note for Leroy, explaining that she didn't have time to wash the old ones. She'd debated if she should just take the old ones along, but decided against it.

"These really need to be washed," she said, grinning at William.

He grinned back, "I'd say!"

They walked out to the living room. William pulled the curtains back and looked at Clear Lake one more time.

Buffy joined him.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

"For bringing me here, for...this."

She took his hand, "Maybe we'll come back someday."

"That would be nice. I hope so. It's where I'll remember falling in love with you," he said, turning toward her.

She looked at him, her eyes glistened with tears, "I know. Me, too."

She kissed him, then said, "We have to..."

"I know...we have to go."

She nodded, and taking his hand they went to the kitchen, pulling their suitcases with their other ones. Then filling their new travel mugs with coffee, they went out to the RV.

Xander was standing by the RV's door.

"You ready, kids?"

"We're ready."

"Good. Willow and Dawn brought everything else out, so that's that."

"Yeah, that's that," Buffy said, sadly.

"Wait!" William said, suddenly, bolting back toward the house.

Buffy looked at Xander, and shook her head, then followed William inside.

"What is it?"

"Where is it?"

"What?"

"The empty jar that was on counter!"

"It's by the window."

He turned and got it, "Want a keepsake," he said, and headed toward the sliding door with the jar.

Buffy followed him. He went out onto the deck, then ran down to the beach. She followed him.

"I was going to do this yesterday, and I forgot," he said, filling the jar up with sand.

She smiled, "I'm glad you remembered."

He turned and gave her a smile like a little boy who'd just found the biggest shell on the beach.

"I know it's just sand, but..."

"It's more."

"Part of us."

"I know."

They hurried back into the house, then back out again, William still clutching the jar.

Xander looked at him, "What was that about?"

"Memories," Buffy answered for him, as they walked into the RV to join the others.

As they entered they smelled food. Angela waved to them, as she was turning over an omelet and tending bacon.

"Figured you guys didn’t even eat," she said, smiling, her long dark brown hair, pulled into a loose ponytail that went half way down her back.

"You didn’t have to do this. We could have gotten something on the way."

"Eh, no problem. We decided to try to cut back on road food the last time we went camping. Easier on the stomach, plus, this is easier than cooking outdoors. All the comforts of home."

"All the work, too. Let me help you."

"I’m almost done here, Buffy. You can help clean up after breakfast, how’s that?"

"Fair enough."

"Why don’t you and William put your stuff in the bedroom?"

"Okay."

Buffy and William lugged the suitcases back toward the bedroom.

"Wow!" William said.

The room was paneled in dark Cherrywood, with built in cabinets in every conceivable spot. The room was about 8’ x 12’, and by far, the largest object in it was the king sized bed, which was covered in a quilt made up of dark tones of blues, creams, and burgandy. There were little flood lights in the ceiling and one behind the bed. It even had a built in TV.

"I second that wow, and add a, ‘we really shouldn’t have this room,’ to that. The bed is large enough for Xander and his whole family. They should really have it."

William nodded, "You’re right. What should we do?"

"I’ll talk to him later. We’ll just put our stuff into the cabinets for now. I don’t want to say anything during breakfast."

William’s legs started to buckle as the RV started to roll.

Buffy raised the shade on the window and William came over to her to look out.

"Goodbye Fullers," she said, "see you later."

William just looked as the last of the lake left the window’s view.

She turned and pushed him down on the bed and jumped on top him, "It is a nice bed, isn’t it?"

He looked at her shocked.

She laughed, "I’m kidding," she said kissing him.

"I’m glad, I was…" her tongue in his mouth stopped his talking, "ummm."

"Did I work up your appetite?"

"In more than one way," he said, his eyes partly closed.

Buffy jumped up, "Come on, time to eat."

"Tease!"

"I know."

Willow was sitting on a couch with Alex, while Angela was feeding Ann, who was in a high chair at the small table.

"Dig in, guys," Angela said.

"Where’s Dawn?"

"She’s up there riding with Xander. She said she could get him to South Bend, so he could catch the highway to Indianapolis.

"I’ll be right back," she told William, and went up front.

"Hi, Xander, Dawn."

"Hey Buffy. You have breakfast yet?"

"Just about to. What about you?"

"Angela fed me before you guys were even out here, so I’m good until lunch," Xander said, patting his stomach.

"Dawn, you know how to get Xander to South Bend?"

"Yeah, Willow and I drove over there the other day. Besides, want to spend some time with Xander."

"Okay, I’ll leave you two, see you later."

Buffy went back to the main room and joined William on one of the couches with a plate of eggs and bacon.

They were eating, and talking, when about 20 minutes later, the RV accelerated, as they got on the highway. Buffy looked over at William, who was starting to look a bit funny.

"What’s the matter?"

"Nothing. I don’t know."

"Your stomach?"

"Maybe."

"Hold on," she said, getting up. She went up to the front.

"Dawn, did you happen to remember to buy that Dramamine?"

"Yeah, it’s in my suitcase. Why? William?"

"Yeah. Think so."

"I’ll go get it."

Buffy took the seat next to Xander.

"Oh, don’t tell me he’s going to get sick!" Xander said.

"Don’t worry, he’ll be alright. I hope. He’s not used to cars."

"So he told me. God, he’s so different!"

Buffy nodded.

"He doesn’t seem anything at all like Spike, nothing," Xander said, shaking his head.

"That’s because you never got to know him like I did, when he wasn’t just trying to be the Big Bad. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he seems really different on the outside, I’ll give you that, but on the inside, he’s a lot the same. He’s sensitive, he’s loving, he’s loyal, he’s…"

"I’ll have to take your word for that Buffy. Don’t worry, I believe you. If you hadn’t seen all that, guess you wouldn’t have been with him then, huh?"

She looked over at Xander, "No, yes. I mean, after I came back, I wasn’t exactly looking for those things, didn’t even want to see them, yet there they were, whether I wanted to admit it or not."

"Yeah, but then he…"

"Let’s not, okay? It was more complicated than just that single incident. Besides, he…and now. Now, now…it’s all good."

He looked at her, with his one eye, "Okay."

"Buffy," Dawn called.

"Talk to you later."

"Sure, Buffy."

"Where’s William?"

Dawn motioned over to the bathroom. They could hear him vomiting.

"Is he sick mommy?" Alex asked, looking concerned.

"Think he just got an upset stomach from the car, just like you do sometimes," Angela answered.

"I think I’m going to be sick, too."

"No, you’re not."

"Uh-huh!"

"Oh, dear!"

"William, you okay?"

"Uh, better now, I guess."

"You want my help?"

"No, pretty sure I can vomit quite well on my own."

"Don’t have to be shirty."

She could hear more retching from the bathroom.

Angela walked up with Alex in tow, "Is he done? Seems like Alex needs to puke, too."

"William? Are you done yet? Alex needs to throw up, too."

William opened the door, "I’m so sorry, Angela. It’s not the food, just my stomach. My stomach and the movement."

"Nothing to apologize for, William," she said, directing Alex into the bathroom, and closing the door behind both of them.

"I feel quite the fool!"

"Don’t be silly. Lot’s of people get motion sickness."

"That makes me feel lots better."

"Shirty."

"Where did you ever pick up that expression," he asked her, exasperated.

"From you."

"Me? I never…oh."

She nodded, "Long time ago. Sort of like it. Come on, Dawn has some Dramamine for you to take."

"What does that do?"

"Calms down the motion sickness. Might make you drowsy, though."

He looked alarmed.

"It’s not bad, it’s…Oh. No, nothing like the strong stuff they gave you, nothing at all. I’ve even taken it."

Angela was walking back, with Alex in hand, "Don’t worry William. Even Alex takes it sometimes. Come on, you two, it’s 7-Up and Dramamine for you both.

After Angela gave them the 7-Up to take with the Dramamine, "Small sips," she had warned, William sat on one of the couches, and Alex crawled up there next to him.

"Your tummy sick, too?"

William nodded, "Better now, though."

"Mine, too," he said, patting his, then William’s.

"Want to read me a story?"

"I’d love to. Where’s your book?"

Alex jumped down, eliciting a warning, "Don’t run, Alex!" from Angela.

He retrieved his book, then crawled back on the couch next to William.

"The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh," began William.

A half-hour later, Angela was playing with Ann in the bedroom and Buffy was washing up the breakfast plates and cups in the galley. Willow came up to her and pointed, "Look."

There on the couch, fast asleep, was William, book in his lap, and Alex, leaning against him.

Buffy and Willow both smiled.

"How cute is that?" Willow whispered.

Buffy nodded, "He looks like him."

"Who? Alex? Looks like William?"

"No," Buffy said, "Alex looks just like Xander. And a bit of Angela. They both have the dark eyes and hair, and so does Alex. Now Ann on the other hand…she’s blonde, like…"

"Anya?"

"Yeah, either her or the mailman," Buffy whispered, and they both giggled.

"No, I think it’s Anya’s doing."

"Me, too. Think Xander ever thought about it?"

"I’m sure he must have."

Alex woke up, "Where’s my mommy?" he asked.

"She’s in the bedroom with your sister," Buffy said, who’d been sitting on the couch, opposite William and Alex, just watching them.

When Alex got up to go find Angela, Buffy took his place, curling up next to William, who started to stir.

"How you feeling?" she asked, when he opened his eyes.

"Better. Kinda dry."

"Here," she said, handing him the 7-Up."

"I was reading Winnie the Pooh, then I don’t know what happened."

"You both fell asleep. Alex just got up to find Angela," she said, staring at him and smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He looked at her.

"You just looked cute. The both of you asleep, book open on your lap."

"Post ‘puking’ cuteness, eh?"

She giggled, "Yeah, guess you could say that."

He shook his head. Women! Finding the daftest things endearing!

He drank the 7-Up, as Willow walked up.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Want some crackers or something."

"Maybe in a while. Just thirsty right now."

"Okay, but you should eat something, you threw up all your breakfast."

He nodded.

A few minutes later, the RV stopped.

Dawn walked back, as did Xander.

"Got to fill up the tank," he said, "stretch my legs."

Buffy looked out the window at the gas station they’d stopped at.

"Can I do anything?" William asked.

"I don’t know, come on out, I’ll see."

William got up and followed Xander outside.

Dawn, Willow, and Buffy all looked out the window, as Xander showed William how to fill up the tank; how to use enter how much he wanted, how to use the gas hose. Once Xander was sure he was good, he walked over to the hood and opened it, checked the oil and some other fluids, then slammed it shut.

"It’s done," William said.

"Okay, hold on," Xander said. He came back and showed him how to replace the hose and cap the gas tank.

They got the receipt from the machine, then got back in the cab. Xander pulled the RV over to the air hoses, then once again, had William follow him out, giving him a lesson on tire pressures and gages.

They were about 45 minutes outside of Indianapolis. It was about 7:45am.

"Think we’ll go about another 2 - 3 hours or so," Xander said, "then we’ll stop to rest for about an hour. Then we’ll make the final push past St. Louis, which will probably take another 3, maybe 4 hours."

They all agreed.

"Why don’t you let me drive for a while, and you can watch the kids," Angela suggested.

"Okay," Xander agreed.

"If you want to go up there with Angela, we can watch the kids," Willow suggested.

"I’m alright by myself. My dad taught me to drive this years ago," Angela said, taking the keys from Xander.

Xander settled down on the couch opposite William and Buffy, with Dawn and Willow at either side. Ann crawled up on Xander’s lap and Alex was playing on the floor.

"Been a long time, eh, guys? Last time we were all together like this was in that old Winnebago Spike was driving, I was the one with motion sickness. Remember teasing me about the shrimp Spike? And Glory was trying to capture Dawn so she could use her as her keeeey…player. Her key soccer player …" Xander stopped, catching himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"So she could use her on her own team," Buffy added quickly, giving Xander a wide-eyed look.

"Uh, yeah, that’s it," Xander said.

"You capture players for the other team here?" William asked, confused, "like chess?"

"Uh, no. Not exactly. It was a…special game we were playing," Buffy said.

"You played soccer?" William asked Dawn.

"Yeah, that’s me, key soccer player."

"That’s a lot like our rugby, you’ll have to show me sometime."

"Uh, sure. Been a while, though, don’t really remember how anymore," Dawn said, barely having enough time for the necessary wiggle-room out of it.

"Oh, I see," William said, looking confused at one of the many cryptic things they would say around him, but then not quite say.

The next couple of hours were just spent catching up with each other’s lives. They talked, but didn’t mention the past, except in general terms, always careful to not say anything in front of William that would confuse him.

For the most part, he just ignored the ambiguities, while cataloging this latest bit of the puzzle to suss out later. What hurt him, was that they hardly ever mentioned anything about him, or what role he played in their lives. When they did, they would quickly either change the subject or not say anything important that he could gather any clues from.

Ann had fallen asleep for a while in Dawn’s arms, and Xander had joined Angela for a while, right before they pulled over outside of Terre Haute in a rest area.

"Figured we’d have lunch here, then rest for a while," Xander said.

Dawn and Buffy helped Angela make sandwiches, while Willow watched the kids with Xander.

"Angela, the kids and I are going to take a little nap for about an hour, before we get back on the road. Buffy, William, you don’t mind, while we’re on the road, if we take our naps in the bedroom, do you?"

"Oh, gosh no! It should be your room anyway, we both think so," she said, and William nodded.

"No, that’s okay, we’ve already got the tent for when we stop. Don’t worry about that."

"But, Xander…"

"Forget it, it’s all decided," he said.

"Really, Buffy, we’re perfectly happy in the tent."

"If you’re sure…"

"We are."

"Thank you," she said.

"Yes, thank you," William added.

"If you guys want to lie down, too, just pull out the couches.

"Sounds good," said Willow, yawning.

"Yeah, sounds good to me, too," Buffy said.

"I think I’ll pass. I’ll go wander over to the ‘oasis’ there and have a look around while you old fogies take a nap," said Dawn, laughing.

"Go ahead, yuck it up Dawnster! One day, you’ll enjoy the finer points of nap taking! Must be my age. Think having kids does that to you," Xander said.

"No, must be the age thing, because we like them, too," Buffy said, "and I never used to nap. Ever."

Xander shook his head, "Heck, Buffy, I don’t remember you ever sleeping, especially at night, what with all the patro… Partying. All the partying you used to do," Xander said, mentally kicking himself, for once again having slipped, not only in front of William, but in front of Angela, too, who didn’t know of the truth of their Sunnydale past.

Buffy smiled at him, "Yep! That was me, all with the partying every night!"

William just looked at her.

"What? I was young once," she said to William, laughing it off, nervously.

He wasn’t quite convinced. Somehow he couldn’t see Elizabeth as someone who ‘partied,’ at least not in the way it was implied.

They pulled out the sleeper couches for themselves and for Willow and laid down.

An hour later, Xander got up, leaving Angela and the kids still in the bedroom and made his way through the RV. He stopped to look at Buffy. She was lying curled up with William, her head under his chin, her arm over his chest. William had one arm around her back, his other on her hair. Xander heard her murmur in her sleep and saw William, still asleep, too, kiss the top of her head, at which she snuggled in closer to him.

Xander just stared, trying to make sense of it all. How had Buffy, formerly the chosen one and only vampire slayer, become Elizabeth? Lover of William, formerly Spike the vampire, formerly William the Bloody? Nothing made sense anymore. No scratch that, he thought, nothing to do with anything remotely associated with Sunnydale ever made any kind of sense.

He looked toward Willow and saw she was watching him. She smiled at him and motioned him over. He came and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Hard to understand," he whispered to Willow, pointing to Buffy and William.

"Not really, it’s always been there in one form or another," Willow said.

"You really believe that? That it’s always been there? This…thing between them?" he asked, struggling for what to call it.

"I do. I know it," Willow said, "how else would you explain it?"

"I don’t. I can’t wrap my brain around it yet," he said, scratching his head, "so you think it’s some grand design? Destiny?"

"I think destiny might just be the best word as of yet to explain it," Willow said, smiling at Xander, "or, there is one other word."

"What’s that?"

"Love."

He looked over at them, looking as close and at peace with each other, as he’d ever seen two people look. "Might be," he conceded, "just might be. Um, well, time to get this thing rolling, why don’t I go find Dawn and you wake the lovebirds up," he said, embarrassed now.

"Gotcha!’

END CHAPTER 65