CHAPTER 186 - DELIBERATE DECEPTION

DECEMBER 21, 2009
SUNDAY
GREENWICH
12:15AM

FUNNEL AND FIRKIN

Hugh Hawley looked down the bar at the man who, except to tell him, “Keep ‘em coming,” when he’d first sat down three hours ago, had not said another word.

"Last one," he said, setting down another shot of Jack Daniels in front of him.

William slowly focused on the man in front of him, scowling slightly as the words sank in.

"We're closing for the night,' the man offered, apologetically.

"Oh, right," William mumbled.

"Bars close around here too damn early, if you ask me," said a soft, American accented voice.

He turned with a start towards the woman. He stared, bleary-eyed. A petite blonde woman with green eyes shining of inebriation smiled at him. William blinked several times trying to clear his vision from wistful imaginings.

"I'm Jennifer,” she said, encouraged by his intense gaze. “I'm a history student at the university here. What about you? Are you from around here?"

"Originally,” William said after a moment. “Just passin' through now.”

"Yeah? Where you going?"

A bitter guffaw died in William’s throat. "Hell, no doubt."

"Oh come on. It cant’ be that bad," Jennifer said, with a small sympathetic laugh.

He didn't reply.

"Well, I don't think you're going to hell tonight in any case. So how about we get out of here? We can go somewhere you know; get to know each other better...” she said suggestively.

“I don’t think so,” William said, throwing back the last shot. “I’m a bad man; a very bad man.”

Jennifer, who had been inching closer to William as she spoke, was now pressed up against him. He felt her warm breath as she whispered in his ear; “What would you say if I told you I sort of have a thing for very bad men?”

“I’d say you’re a stupid bint without the bloody lick of sense you were born with!” William said, shaking her off. Abruptly, he rose and threw some bills on the bar.

Jennifer’s face flamed, as she hurriedly got off her own barstool, glaring angrily at William.

“I don’t know what your problem is. I just wanted to have some fun, but apparently that’s a crime around here. God, I miss American men! At least I could get a decent...Know what? Fuck you!”

As he stood there swaying, a painful sense of deja-vu washed over him of another blonde tossing her hair over her shoulder, and angrily stomping away from him many times; what seemed like a million times.

The other patrons turned to look curiously at William as he stumbled drunkenly towards the door, but he didn’t pay them any heed. Nothing mattered anymore, least of all a group of strangers he’d never see again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1:00AM

Giles paced from the kitchen to the foyer, glancing towards the clock in the study for the fiftieth time. As he paced, he replayed the whole day from morning, until William had left his seat during the game. The front door opened. Expectantly, Giles turned towards it.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said, sighing.

Vi looked contrite.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out quite like that, it’s just been...”

“I know,” she answered, taking off her jacket and throwing it on the bench next to the door.

“You found no trace of William then I take it?”

Vi shook her head.

Last Giles had heard, neither had the other girls. In groups of twos and threes he'd sent the slayers out to comb the city for William. A couple of them had been dispatched back to the neighborhood in and around the stadium. Another two groups had gone to the areas of Hyde Park and Kensington, where William had mentioned his brother once lived, and where Dru had sired him. The other groups were searching Greenwich, Hampstead, and central London.

“Damnit! Why did he...? I can’t figure it out. We were sitting there enjoying the match. William got up to go use the loo; at least that’s what I supposed, but he never returned. What am I missing?”

Vi walked over and put her hand on the watcher’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll turn up, Giles.”

Giles ran his hand through his hair. If something were to have befallen William, whether by demon or the human variety, he would never forgive himself. Buffy would never forgive him either. That William was a grown man with considerable fighting skills; having at one time been a master vampire, made no difference. He felt responsible for William’s well being, coming to him as he did without her knowledge.

The house phone rang, and he quickly grabbed it.

“Is this Rupert Giles?” asked a woman whose voice he didn’t recognize.

“Yes, this is Rupert Giles. Who’s calling?”

“I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour. This is Dorothy Faulkner.”

“Who?”

“Your neighbor across The Knoll from you. I got your number from Harold Watley.”

“Oh yes, right. What can I do for you Mrs. Faulkner?” Giles asked, wondering where on earth this was heading.

“You see Mr. Giles,” she said, clearing her throat, “I’m usually asleep at this time, but nature called. As I was passing my upper hallway window I happened to glance out. As I did, I saw a man walking across The Knoll near Harold’s, then heading in your direction. Let me tell you, I almost had a heart attack seeing someone out there. I was going to call the police, when I saw him collapse in your back yard.”

By this time, Giles had walked to the back door and turned on the lights. Vi followed.

“Is he still there?” Giles asked, straining to see out into the darkened yard.

“Yes, he’s down near the shed.”

Giles put his hands above his eyes as he peered out into the yard. He’d have almost missed the figure completely, save for what remained of the telltale hair.

Shall I call the police or an ambulance for you?” Dorothy asked.

“No, I’ll take it from here. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Please, do be careful, Mr. Giles.”

“I shall. Thank you again,” he said, hanging up.

“What is it?” Vi asked.

“Come with me,” Giles said, hurrying out the door.

“It’s William!” Vi said, hurrying towards the still figure.

Giles nodded. Kneeling down, they immediately began to assess him for injuries or signs of trauma.

“I don’t think he’s hurt,” Vi said.

“William, can you hear me?” Giles asked, gently shaking him.

William moaned something unintelligible, then turned over and threw up.

“No, not hurt,” Giles said, wrinkling up his nose in disgust. “Drunk as a Lord, by the look and smell of things.”

Giles first inclination was that he ought to just leave him outside to burn up in the morning sun. That was followed by the rather disappointing realization that since William wasn’t a vampire, that wouldn’t be the case anyway. On the other hand, he could just let Mrs. Faulkner call the police on the inconsiderate berk. Still...

He silently cursed his conscience.

“Help me get him inside,” Giles said tersely,

Vi came around the other side. Together they hoisted William up, and between them, walked him back to the house, cleaned him up as best they could, and put him to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DECEMBER 21, 2009
SUNDAY
1:30PM

Sprawled sideways on the bed and still in his street clothes, William’s first thought upon waking, was that something had crawled into his mouth and died, given the bitter, rancid taste. He fared no better as he attempted to get up; the movement bringing on a cacophony of kettledrums, apparently which had taken up residence inside his skull sometime during the night. He fell back, trying to get his bearings. Slowly, the past twenty-four hours came back to him: the Chelsea vs. Manchester United game, Stamford Bridge Stadium, packed with over forty thousand people.

All those people...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a quick shower, William steeled himself before going downstairs in search of tea. If it weren’t for the overwhelming feeling of dehydration, he would’ve stayed in his room. It was Sunday, so the chances of Giles not being at home were slim. He went over his explanation in his head one more time before heading down the stairs.

The study door was closed, as William made his way into the kitchen. As to not bring any attention to himself, William poured the water before the kettle could even whistle.

With teacup in one hand and aspirin bottle in the other, he quietly made his way down the hall, heading for the stairs.

“William, might I have a minute of your time, please?” Giles asked through the study door, just as he passed in front of it.

With a sigh, William back tracked the few steps, and pushed open the door with his arm. Giles stood up from behind his desk, and motioned for him to take a seat on the opposite side. Despite trying to be careful, William’s hands shook as he tried to set the teacup on the desk, causing some of the liquid to spill over the side and onto some papers. Swearing under his breath, he started to get back up to find something to sop it up with when Giles stopped him.

“That’s alright. I’ve got something for that,” Giles said. He produced a box of tissues from a drawer and handed them across the desk to William.

“I’m sorry,” William said, wiping off the liquid. He looked at Giles, as he picked up the sodden papers, shaking his head.

“We’ll put them on The Times,” Giles said, opening up the Sunday paper. Spreading it out on the floor near his desk, he then took the wet papers from William and sandwiched them between the newspaper sheets. That finished, he sat back down again.

The moments ticked by and finally Giles cleared his throat. It was with the greatest effort that he’d decided he would reign in his anger and disappointment, when confronting William with his thoughtless and self-destructive behavior yesterday.

“How are you feeling today?”

“A bit green.”

“I should say,” Giles said, nodding. “Do you recall how you got to your bed last night?”

William shook his head. He’d suspected as much, given the state they’d found him. Giles filled him in from the slayers who had been summoned to go looking for him, to when Mrs. Faulkner called, ending when he and Vi had managed to put him to bed.

“Care to tell me what happened to you yesterday, whist we were at the game?”

William took a deep breath and repeated what he’d rehearsed earlier, along with an apology.

“Claustrophobic? You felt claustrophobic? That’s it?” Giles asked, suspiciously eyeing William.

“Pretty much. Yes.”

“Was there something about your past that being at the game set off?” Giles probed.

“No. It was just...I just had to get out.”

Giles wasn’t satisfied. If that had been the case, William could’ve just met him at the car after the game. Not to mention him going missing for hours, only to return home so drunk he didn’t even remember how he got to bed.

William shifted in his seat, feeling very much like a child brought up in front of the headmaster.

“I apologize for causing you any worry yesterday, and for last night,” William said. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me, to which I’m very grateful. It was thoughtless and unconscionable of me to put you through that.”

“Yes, it was, William. I’m disappointed in you.”

“Again, I’m really quite sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Very well,” Giles said. He was still dissatisfied, but he didn’t know what else he could do for William at this juncture.

“If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go back to my room. I’m not feeling very well,” William said, rising.

“Of course,” Giles said, also standing.

With a nod, William collected his teacup and walked to the door.

“William?”

“Yes, Giles?” he asked, turning around once again.

“Um...just remember, I’m here if you want to further discuss anything that’s troubling you. Anytime.”

“Thank you,” William said. And with that, he was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DECEMBER 22, 2009
SUNDAY
LOS ANGELES
5:00PM

Still in shock from the events of the past twelve-hours, Wesley pulled up in front of his office. He sat there for a moment, blank-faced stared out the window. Finally, he reached across himself with his right hand to open the door, carefully turning his body, as to not jar his casted left arm on the steering column. With the help of a standard issue emergency room cane, he limped over to the trunk to retrieve the weapons bag.

Letting himself into the office, he accidentally bumped his arm against the doorframe. The pain, radiating from his elbow down to his fractured wrist, was sudden and blinding, but he welcomed it. Gritting his teeth, he waited a moment for the pain to subside. When it had, he hauled up the long bag he was carrying, and without bothering to turn on the lights, went over to the cabinet on the far wall. Maneuvering as well he could, he replaced the weapons he and the five slayers had taken with them to San Bernardino National Forest.


Things couldn’t have gone worse. The G’raklics had been a particularly nasty breed of highly intelligent demons. For days, he and the slayers had searched throughout the areas where the reports of slaughter had originated from, but were unable to find any trace of them. Then yesterday, as they were starting to hike back, the demons mounted a surprise attack, surrounding them in the only area they had to pass through that offered no possibility of retreat.

As strong and skilled as the slayers were, they were still no match for nearly a dozen G’raklics. Their short stature belied their fierce stalking skills, reminding Wesley of the velociraptors from Jurassic Park.

Furthermore, the bony plates that protected their midsections and much of their necks, made killing them by beheading all the harder. The blow needed to be precise. In the end, one of his best slayers, Jessica was dead. Ramona was mortally wounded, and not expected to make it through the night. Loreena had suffered a concussion and would need to stay hospitalized over the holidays, even with slayer healing. The other two, Neela and Alisha also sustained injuries that would keep them from any duties for a while. Not that he cared about that; his heart was heavy with loss and a deep sense of personal failure.

All he'd wanted was to go home, but he couldn't bear to call the families of the girls from his apartment; it was his only haven in this insane world. Wearily, he walked to his desk to look up the numbers he needed. The red light on the phone was blinking, and he stared at it a long while before finally pushing the button.

“Wesley, this is Buffy. Call me when you get this message; as soon as you get this message.”

He felt an irrational hatred towards her for a moment.

Buffy.

The Chosen One.

And, the only slayer in the history of the world who'd been able to share her power, turning thousands of potentials into just-as-real-as-she-was slayers. Thousands of slayers, and still not enough to stop all the evil, or to stop his slayers from dying.

The moment passed and lucid thought returned. After all, Buffy had been alone in the fight against evil for all those years, surviving longer than any slayer before her. She’d done what she had to in order to save the world from The First, that along with the sacrifice Spike had...

William. That must be the reason she called.

"Crap."

That phone call would have to wait until he’d first called the families of the girls who were dead, dying, or hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DECEMBER 22, 2009
MONDAY
GREENWICH
7:00AM

William stared at his reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing it anymore. The chronic sleeplessness, stress, and drinking over the preceding months showed. After splashing some cold water on his face, he vigorously rubbed his cheeks with his palms hoping some renewed circulation would cover the pallor. It wasn't much, but it was slightly better.

Remembering his mother's advice of long ago he forced himself to smile, studying the effect. Satisfied, he nodded. It was the one small change he could consciously make which would be both persuasive, and most dramatically affect his looks.

He wasn't proud of the deliberate deception he was about to engage in. However, he only had a short time in which to convince everyone that he was doing alright now. If he could manage so, it would be much more readily accepted when after the holidays, he announced he was off to revisit some places he'd last seen as a child. Of course, Giles would likely ask if he wanted some company, which he would graciously decline.

He would only be half-lying, anyway. The Lake District had, in fact, been a place he had fond memories of as a child. The Internet had provided him with all the information he had needed. He’d even rented a car for next Saturday, and made reservations at a low cost lodge, close to many hiking trails; one of which would surely serve his purpose.

No matter what he felt between now and the time he left; be it sorrow, anger, or self-loathing, he would have to be careful to not let those emotions show. To those around him, it needed to appear that he was once more finding meaning, if not joy, in life again.

Still, that wouldn't be the real test; not by a long shot. He knew he couldn't very well act as if everything was fine without showing that he was somehow also dealing with his relationship with Elizabeth, especially over the holidays. Giles knew him too well for that. Not to mention, he wanted to contact her, needed to, if only to somehow let her know that she's never been very far from his thoughts. It was a double-edged sword; the part of him wanting to pour his heart out to her to reassure her that she was still loved, and always would be. The other part of him was loath to giver her renewed hope, only to have it taken away.

All he knew is that it had to look like an accident. There could be nothing that would lead Elizabeth to think that it was something she could have prevented. To leave her feeling as though she’d somehow failed him would be worse than the hell that surely awaited him. Hell wouldn’t be cheated of it’s due this time; of that he was certain.

Although the thought of her loving someone else seared him in its intensity, with all his heart, he hoped that Elizabeth would go on with her life and all that meant. What he wanted for her, was a life that would be filled with love; and, if she wanted marriage and children. Most importantly, William wanted her life to be filled with light and to be free of the darkness he believed his presence had brought back into her life.

Most of all, if his nightmares were any indication of the thing he had been, or of the savagery he must still harbor deep inside him, he wouldn’t be around to hurt her.

END CHAPTER 186

CHAPTER 187 - SURPRISE

DECEMBER 23, 2009
TUESDAY
4:00AM
SOMEWHERE OVER THE ATLANTIC

Buffy shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable. She'd taken the midnight flight from LAX to London hoping she would be able to doze for at least part of the long flight. However, so far sleep had evaded her. It wasn’t just in anticipation of seeing William, but also finding out why he’d basically cut off all communication with her. That in and of itself was enough to keep her awake, but it was what happened at the airport before she left, which left her feeling disquieted.

Wesley had finally called her back, calmly listening while she grilled him about his part in helping William get to London. Without emotion, Wesley told her all that he knew, which wasn't much. He told her he’d originally planned on accompanying William the whole way, only to be needed back in Los Angeles.

At the end of the conversation he informed her there was an important scroll that needed to get to Giles, asking if she could please come by his office and pick it up on her way to the airport. She’d retorted, that if it was that important to him, he could meet her at LAX and deliver it to her there. After forewarning him that if he weren’t there when she arrived she wouldn't wait, they agreed on a meeting spot in the parking lot, closest to the international terminal.

Pulling into the lot, she soon spotted the car he’d described, and parked nearby. Expecting the Wesley of old, she was shocked by his appearance. Instead of the bespectacled, nerdish watcher she remembered, a tall, good-looking man, not much older than herself, got out of his car. Bruised, limping, and his arm in a sling, it was obviously he’d recently seen battle; that or he’d been involved in a car crash. Either way, she now regretted having made him make the trip to the airport in his condition.

“What happened?” she asked.

Wesley proceeded to tell her about what had happened to the slayers and himself up in Big Bear.

“God, Wes, I’m so sorry! I wish you’d called me. I could’ve helped,” she’d said, automatically.

“Quite frankly, asking you never occurred to me.”

“And why the hell not?” Buffy had asked, infuriated by his matter-of-fact attitude.

Wesley had eyed her curiously before he spoke. “Because you’re retired. Aren’t you?”

Buffy was taken aback. In that moment, she’d truly forgotten what she was.

Retired.

Muttering an apology, she promised to take good care of the scroll, then said her good-byes.

Now, somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, Buffy wondered if retiring and letting other girls carry on in her stead, had been the right thing. Was being the slayer for seven years, averting numerous apocalypses, losing loved ones, and even dying twice herself enough justification to turn her back on her calling?
For what, she wondered. In order to have a normal life? Despite the outward appearance of her life, past and present, she certainly didn’t feel normal. She didn’t imagine she’d ever quite feel normal again.

And now, she was flying off to England to find/confront her former vampire-now-human-lover, (though she used the term loosely as of late) but to what ends? To convince William that he could have a normal life with her? Elizabeth Worthington, nee Buffy Summers: Master & Commander of All Things Abnormal in this Life! Would he ever be able to again, now knowing what he did about himself? Would she? Just because they had that in common, it didn't mean he would come back to her, despite his reassuring words before he left. Since then, his actions, or rather inaction, had spoken for him.

Her eyes grew wet, as she pondered the futility of it all. Looking around the plane at the sleeping passengers, she decided she hated them, hated them and their stupid normal lives. But most of all, she hated herself. She hated herself for quitting, while others still died in the battle against evil, and she hated herself for what she still wanted, and what it seemed she couldn’t have...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DECEMBER 23, 2009
TUESDAY
1:00PM


To say that Giles had been surprised to find William already at the breakfast table yesterday morning, and offering to go to The Council with him, was an understatement. What with this latest episode just barely a day old, he certainly wouldn’t have taken any bets on this scenario. That wasn’t to say he wasn’t pleased; William had been quite an asset to both him and the girls when he’d been there in the past.

Giles glanced over at William working on a translation; rather he was supposed to be. Instead, he was staring off into space. If Giles had heard him snoring, he wouldn't have been surprised, as eerily still as he seemed to be. Just then he stirred, and Giles quickly looked down at his own papers, so as to not be caught staring. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see William giving him a hurried glance, before going back to his work. And so it went...ever since yesterday; odd moments of zoning out, distractibility, far less than stellar sparring and fencing exercises with the girls, careless mistakes on his translations.

As was his habit while attending paperwork, Giles would occasionally take a glance at the monitors linked to the training rooms. Often, seeing his girls as they progressed from untrained gems in the rough, to capable slayers was what made him feel it was all worth it, and what kept him going. It was what kept The Council going.

Yesterday, however, he'd found himself frowning - not at the girls, but at William who’d been fencing with them. Giles winced as he saw him stumble, due to nothing more than bad form, certainly unbecoming for one classically trained such as he’d been.

“Come on, William,” he'd found himself saying aloud, as he watched more of the same. The fencing came to an abrupt stop, and he watched as the girls surrounded William. Unable to see what was happening, he rose from his desk to go downstairs...

~~~~~~~~

“Are you okay, William?” asked Rose, rushing to his side.

William looked down, surprised to see the red stain spreading on the upper sleeve of his shirt.

“I’m so sorry,” Rose said.

“No need. I let down my guard, and you took the advantage. That’s exactly what you want to happen in a fight.”

“Yeah, but not in here. I...I cut you. God, I’m really sorry!”

“Why were you fencing without the safety tips on?” Vi asked, looking at Rose sternly.

“I don’t know,” Rose mumbled.

“Don’t blame Rose, it’s my fault, too,” William said.

Rose smiled gratefully at William. He’d defended her.

“Giles is going to have a cow when he finds out,” Vi said, biting her lower lip.

“It’s okay, really,” William said, as the other slayers gathered around him and were now examining the wound. “It doesn’t hurt. Much.”

“Do you think he needs stitches?” asked Rose.

“No, it’s not too deep,” Vi said. Fatima had run off to get the First Aid kit, which she now handed over to Vi.

“See, what did I tell you...ouch!” William said, as Vi swabbed the wound with peroxide.

“Still...” Rose said.

“Perhaps William should help me in the office today,” Giles said, appearing over Vi’s shoulder to get a better look at the wound, then turned to William.

“Yes, I suppose that would be best,” William said, chagrined.

“I’m sure you’ll be back up to snuff in no time, as soon as that injury you told me about last night is better,” Giles said.

William was about to ask what he was talking about, when he caught Giles’ intent.

“What injury?” asked Rose.

“Um...twisted my ankle yesterday,” he said, glancing at Giles, who gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“You should have told us,” Vi said.

“Really, William. I wouldn’t have been so hard on you,” Rose said, winking at him, but relieved that this injury hadn’t really been her fault after all.

“Guess I just forgot about it.”

“Why don’t I look after William, and you girls take a break?” Giles asked, as he nodded to William to follow him.

~~~~~~~~

“I appreciate your giving me an opportunity to save face, but you didn’t have to do that,” William said, trying to keep his voice even, as they made their way up to the office. “It’s not like I didn’t know that I wasn’t fencing very well, or that I can’t accept the consequences of having done poorly."

“Understood." Giles said, nodding. "And if I offended you, I apologize.”

“No need...”

“Actually, I do need your help on something, so I'd be happy to have you consider my interference as just a way to enlist your help,” Giles said, with a wry grin.

"Yes, well...I'll do that then," William answered.

~~~~~~~~~


6:00AM PST
STILL OVER THE ATLANTIC

Buffy could hear the stewards starting to come down the aisles with carts full of coffee, juices, and whatever passed for a continental breakfast. Make that trans-continental. Quietly, Buffy turned off the small, overhead light, and raised the shade a couple of inches. It was brilliantly sunny outside now, at however many thousands of feet high they were flying at. She could see the clouds beneath them, but not the ocean. Just as well, the thought gave her the willies. She glanced once again at her watch. It was already past noon in London. Willow would be there to pick her up in only a couple more hours and then...Her stomach clenched at the unknown. And then...that was the big question.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:30PM
GREENWICH
COUNCIL HEADQUARTERS

The phone rang, startling both William and Giles.

A few minutes after answering it, Giles turned to William. “It seems we’re being ordered out of here, in deference to the girls’ need to decorate for the party this evening.”

“They’re not decorating in here, are they?”

“No! Oh dear God, I hope not,” Giles said, making a mental note to make sure to lock the office door. “Just the same, they want us out of the building proper. So, what say you we finish up, and head for home shortly? I think I could use a nap before tonight’s doings in any case.”

William nodded, fighting back a yawn at the mere mention of sleep. Not that he would dare chance it, not before having to go to this party. He dreaded the very idea of having to mingle and pretend he was in some sort of cheery holiday mood, but pretend he must. It was part of the plan. They had to see him as acting normal.

“I’ll just be another couple of minutes. I’d like to finish up this page first, if that’s alright.”

“That’s fine. I have a few things to finish myself,” Giles said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3:30PM
LONDON
HEATHROW INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

It had taken almost an hour to go through customs after been tagged to have her luggage gone through by London’s finest. Luckily, she’d left her stakes at home. That would’ve been interesting to explain. After finally getting through the process, she walked out to where families, friends, and loved ones awaited.

Buffy saw Willow first. She was holding up a big cardboard stake, with her name in yellow crayon, written lengthwise down the middle.

“Very funny. Does that also come with a cardboard vampire?” she said, tapping Willow on the shoulder.

“Buffy!” Willow cried, throwing her arms around her, in a welcoming hug.

“You cut your hair!” Buffy said, looking at Willow as she stepped back. “I like it!”

“Really?” Willow asked, her hand automatically going up to her hair.

“I do,” Buffy said, admiring the short, curly style. She grabbed the handle of her larger suitcase, then positioned the carry-on top of that.

“I’ll get that,” Willow said, as she took hold of the handle just as Buffy had finished attaching the smaller one on top.

“You don’t have to do that, I’m fine.”

“Nope, allow me. You can just carry the...what is that?”

Buffy looked down at the large cardboard tube she had in her arm. “I honestly don’t know. It was something Wesley wanted me to deliver to Giles. He said it was important. Old and ancient texts on some old and ancient scrolls, as far as I could tell. Let me tell you, trying to explain something like that to the baggage screeners, not of the fun! I think they thought I was a mule or something, with a payload of drugs inside there.”

Willow laughed, as they made their way through the maze of concourses on their way to the parking lot. They got to the car and Willow put the luggage into the boot, while Buffy waited for Willow to unlock the door.

“Um, Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Um...you didn’t want to drive, did you?” Willow asked, trying not to panic.

“No, why?”

“Wrong side.”

“Huh? Oh yeah, so it is,” Buffy chuckled, as she now took notice of the steering wheel through the window. “Wow. It’s like something you know exists, but until you see it, you really don’t believe it.”

“Like vampires?”

“Good analogy, except vampires I know exist. Now cars with steering columns on the right side, and driven on the opposite sides of the road, those are the things I have trouble comprehending! How screwed up is that?”

Willow laughed. That was her Buffy.

They didn’t talk until Willow had exited the parking lot, and got onto the Motorway.

“Speaking of vampires, at least a former one now residing with my former watcher; how long will it take to get to Giles’ place?”

Willow looked at her watch, calculating both the traffic and time of day. “About an hour; a little less if we’re lucky, a little more if we’re not.”

Buffy nodded and settled back in her seat, as Willow narrated points of interest as they drove toward Greenwich.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:00PM
GREENICH
COUNCIL HEADQUARTERS

“Hey, it’s looking pretty good,” Vi said, as she came into the training room. Being the largest room, it had been chosen for the site of their party. A large Christmas tree had been brought downstairs and festooned with lights, garland, tinsel, and ornaments. Colorful decorations had been hung on the walls, streamers hung on the windows, and a large poster of a fireplace was mounted on the wall. Long tables covered with red and green checkered tablecloths were beginning to fill up with plates of Christmas cookies, truffle cakes, pies, candies, and other treats.

Another table was set up for liquid refreshments. Unopened bottles of wine and liters of soda were being iced, while an empty punchbowl sat in the middle, waiting to be filled. Two other tables had been set aside; one to serve the traditional English holiday fare of roast goose, mince pies, plum and figgy puddings, stuffing, and potatoes; the other for foods representing the home countries of the many other slayers who now studied and resided here.

“Thanks,” Rose answered. She and a few of the other slayers had been in charge of this area. “How about you, are you finished with the entryway hall?”

“Just about,” Vi said.

After she’d gone, a couple of the other girls came up to Rose.

“So, what do you think the chances of William coming to the party are?”

Rose patted her head thoughtfully. “I’m not taking any chances tonight ladies. As soon as we’re finished here, I’m going to put on my sexiest, most revealing dress, then I’m going to Giles’ flat on a search and rescue mission to make sure that he does!”

The girls giggled, conspiratorially.

“Who’s with me?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:00PM
GREENWICH
TRAFALGAR TAVERN

Buffy made her way back to the table, where Willow, a strong espresso, and a salad awaited her. As soon as they’d gotten into Greenwich, she’d asked Willow if they could stop somewhere so she could get some fresh clothes and make-up out of her luggage. There was nothing like traveling for hours and hours to make one feel all skanky. She would’ve have liked to showered, too. Unfortunately, Willow lived in Bath, and the only other alternative would’ve been to rent a motel room for an hour or so, but that was ridiculous even for her sleep-deprived brain.
So, a restaurant’s bathroom was put into service in the name of making herself halfway presentable. It also gave her time to catch her breath, if only a bit, before just arriving at Giles’ doorstep, luggage and hopes in hand.

“You look refreshed,” Willow said with a smile, as Buffy sat down. She’d changed into a pair of smart tan pants, a maroon shell with a cowl neckline, over which she wore a short, ivory cashmere sweater. Her hair had been taken out of the ponytail, and now looked freshly brushed. It hung loosely, except for the small, shiny maroon clip holding back one side.

“Well, as refreshed as one can, dressing in a stall, and applying makeup under a dim restroom light bulb,” Buffy stated ruefully.

“You can’t tell at all; you look very nice.

“Really?”

Ever the optimist, Willow nodded emphatically. “Absolutely! William is going to take one look at you and fall in love all over again.”

“If it were only that simple...”

~~~~~~~~~

4:30PM

Bolting awake, William jumped out of bed when Giles knocked on his door to remind him that they were to leave for the party within the hour. His heart pounded furiously, as he struggled to come back to his awakening reality.
He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Sleep meant nightmares, and this had been no exception. In fact, it had been worse than normal.

Hearing Giles’ retreating footsteps, he sat back down on the bed, his hands in his head. There was no way he could go to this party and act like everything was okay. Not now. He would just have to tell Giles that he wasn’t feeling well, and to extend his regrets to the girls. That decided, he rose from the bed and went over to the table to look over the document Lawrence had sent him to sign. He would post it first thing tomorrow.

After returning from The Council, William had placed a call to Lawrence. He tried to be as casual as he could, considering the reason for his call.

Ever the diplomat, Lawrence didn’t question him directly about the possible reasons for the request, instead he had suggested other options.

“William, I understand that you want Elizabeth to be covered in case something happens to you, considering what you went through...”

“What do you mean?” William had asked quickly.

“You losing your memory for five years and being presumed dead, of course.”

“Right; what I thought you meant.”

“As I was saying,” Lawrence continued, diplomatically, “I understand that you want Elizabeth to be covered in the case of your actual death in the future. I want to assure you she already is by your will as it stands now, even though you’re not married. However, it is highly irregular for one to legally will everything over to another, before that occurs. I just need you to realize that if you do this, that you’ll have nothing at all. No assets, no money, no holdings, no stocks, bonds, investments...”

“I understand.”

“And how do you expect to live if you don’t get back with Elizabeth?”

“Like everybody else; I’ll work.”

“You know; if I didn’t think I knew you better, I’d believe you were planning something dire.”

“What?” William asked, in as an incredulous voice as he could muster. “No! I’m not planning anything, I just... just want Elizabeth to have everything now.”

“I’d be remiss not to advise you that if something unseemly were to happen to you in the near future, these particular changes might be looked upon suspiciously by the courts.”

“What would you suggest, then?” William said, after a moment.

“I’d say there are a few changes that would make the document stronger, and which would insure Elizabeth, upon your death, inheriting your total estate and assets, with a minimal of court interference or estate taxes owed.”

“You think that’s better?”

“Yes, William. I do. As a matter of principle, not to mention common sense, I always advise against a person giving up their total estates, no matter the reason, unless a person is infirm and no longer able to make decisions on their own. In fact, should that ever happen to you, the addendum I’ll draw up, will also have that provision, as well.”

“Alright, we’ll do it your way,” William said, the issue now resolved.

In the end, what did it matter which way it was worded? As long as Elizabeth didn’t have some magistrate challenging his will, then she would be okay financially.

She’d be okay

She’d be okay.

It was his mantra, and the only thing that he had left to believe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:30PM
TRAFALGAR TAVERN

“That’s The Council,” Willow said, as they drove past.

“Hmm...not what I expected. I thought it would look like a fortress or something.”

Willow laughed, “Well, I think the old building that Travers and them used to work out of was more like that; I’ve seen pictures. Giles is a lot more laid back, and so is the building. Kennedy tells me that it’s a lot bigger inside. It has a couple of subterranean levels”

“Oh...”

“It’s too bad we couldn’t have driven through London proper, but that would’ve take forever. There’s so many wonderful places to see!”

“Like Harrod’s?”

“Besides Harrod’s, Buffy! There’s Kensington Palace, The National Gallery, The Tower of London...”

“I know, Willow. I was just teasing. I’m going to be here for a little while. You can take me on a tour, okay?”

“And Harrod’s I was going to say. I’m gay and a girl; I believe shopping is in both my job descriptions.”

“So it is,” Buffy said, and they both laughed at the joke. The irony was that over the past years, she’d mostly only shopped when it became a necessity, not for fun like she had when she was younger. Until last year, that is. Having someone to buy stuff with and for, that had made it fun again.

“Are you ready to go now, Buffy?” Willow asked gently.

She slowly nodded, “As ready as I’m ever going to be...”

~~~~~~


5:45PM

“Let’s go,” Rose said to the two other girls accompanying her. Having spent the last thirty minutes transforming herself into a sexy vixen, she looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror, satisfied with the results. She’d had her eye on William for a long time, and tonight she would make her intentions known...

~~~~~~

“Here we are,” Willow said, turning the car off.

Buffy looked at the house, but made no attempt to get out.

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”

“I think so. Why? Don’t you?”

“I dunno. All of a sudden I’m not so sure, maybe I shouldn’t have come. Maybe he really doesn’t want to see me, maybe...”

“It’s just nerves.”

Buffy didn’t answer.

“Well besides all that second guessing your head is doing, what does your heart tell you?” Willow asked.

Buffy took a deep breath and nodded. Willow opened her door and Buffy followed suit, then together they walked up the sidewalk to Giles’ front door.

~~~~~~~

Glass of sherry in hand, as he read the day’s newspaper, Giles looked up as William came into the study. He started to ask if he was ready, but something about his demeanor stopped him.

“I’m sorry,” William said, “but I don’t think I’ll be accompanying you to the party.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“I’m afraid that I awoke with a horrible headache. I didn’t mean to fall asleep; looks like I would’ve been better off.”

“Are you sure? We needn’t stay that long. In fact, a spot of food might be just the thing you need.”

William shook his head, “No, I’ll just eat something here. I just don’t think I can stand the girly noises right now. Please give them my regards and...”

Giles and William both turned their heads, as they heard the knock.

“Wonder who that could be,” Giles said, as he got up to go into the foyer.

~~~~~~~

Buffy stood off to the side a bit, as Willow knocked.

“He’s coming,” she whispered.

“William?”

“No, Giles.”

The door opened, followed by moments of stunned silence.

“Surprise...”


END CHAPTER 187

CHAPTER 188 – THEN, YOU TALK


“Willow? Willow! My God, where did you come from? Never mind that; it’s wonderful to see you! Come in, come in! Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?”

Willow shrugged, before stepping aside.

“Hello, Giles,” Buffy said, moving from where she’d been standing in the shadows to the center of the doorway

“Double surprise,” Willow added meekly.

“Buffy? Oh my goodness, my dear girl, I’m so very glad to see you!” Giles said, smiling broadly and taking both of her hands in his. In that moment, he all but forgot the most likely reason she’d come at all.

“Girls, you are both a sight for sore eyes,” Giles said, looking at them fondly. He wouldn’t have admitted it aloud, but them being there had just made it seem a lot more like Christmas. He shook his head in wonderment. “I just can’t believe it.”

William had quietly come out of the study, disbelieving what his ears were hearing. As he slowly walked down the hallway, he saw her. Her back was to him, as he drew nearer.

“It’s nice to see you, too. Wonderful, in fact,” Buffy said, “but, I gotta ask, what the frilly heck is going on?”

“Going on? Whatever do you...? Ah, of course...” Giles said, a bit deflated as her meaning became clear.

“Elizabeth?” William said, so softly that the others didn’t hear.

Slowly she turned around; heart pounding. There, not six feet from her stood William. To her left she heard Willow gasp and quickly tried to conceal her own shock. His face, thinner than she'd ever seen, made the deep, dark circles underneath his eyes all the more prominent. His hair, unruly and grown out since she’d seen him last, reminded her of how he’d first looked when she’d discovered him living in Sunnydale High School’s basement, after he’d come back from Africa. The clothes he wore, slightly disheveled looking and hanging loosely on his lean frame, told her another worrisome story.

“Merry Christmas, William,” Buffy said softly, venturing a small smile.

Wide-eyed, he continued to stare at her. She was really here, not just a vision from his most ardent dreams, and recurrent sacrifice in his most horrendous nightmares, but here in the flesh.

Watching the play of emotions across his face, Buffy took a tentative step forward.

Shaking his head, he mirrored her, only in the reverse, backing away from her. This couldn’t be happening, couldn’t be real. Please God, not now.

“William? I...”

Just then the door burst open. All eyes turned to the three women who had just come in.

“Hey Giles! You ready for the party? How about you, William?”

Buffy looked at them, then at Giles and William. Nobody spoke.

Finally, Giles cleared his throat. “Girls, this is Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg. Buffy, Willow, these are some of our school’s students; Rose, Fatima, and Meghan.”

“Mary,” she corrected.

“Mary, of course.”

“Buffy Summers, huh? As in the former slayer?” Asked Rose. Coolly she sized up the competition and inwardly shrugged, finding her lacking.

Buffy nodded, having trouble taking her eyes off of William for even the few seconds it took for the introductions.

“Nice to meet you. Seems you came just in time for our party; in fact, it’s starting as soon as we get back.”

The three girls had now surrounded William, who himself was still staring at Elizabeth. Only when Rose possessively grabbed his arm, making him wince, did he look away. Noticing she'd grabbed him over the wound she'd accidentally inflicted earlier she adjusted her hold. Buffy also noticed, as she watched the interplay between them with something akin to fascination.

“What are you doing?” William sputtered, suddenly aware that both Rose and Mary each had hold of him by an arm.

“We’re here to escort you to the party.”

William shook his head.

Buffy bristled, ready to kick some sub-slayer butt if need be.

“Uh-uh, William, you promised, and we’re here to insure you make good on that promise,” Rose said, as they started to drag him towards the front door. Too stunned to think or say anything else, William let them.

“Well, hope we see you at the party,” Rose said sweetly, as she opened the front door, and along with the other girls, led William through it.

Following the procession, Buffy could only nod, dumbfounded, as she and William continued to stare at each other until the car drove out of sight. Only then, did she turn back around and confront Giles.

“What the hell is going on!?!”

“Buffy, calm down.”

“Don’t you dare, ‘Buffy calm down’ me, Giles! I just flew thousands of miles to find out what’s going on, only to find William looking like I don’t know what, and then hightailing it out of here to go to a party with some...some slayer sluts! So don’t tell me to calm down!”

“That’s neither fair, nor accurate. The girls have had this party planned for weeks. It had nothing to do with your arrival, which by the way, thanks for having the consideration to let us know you were coming,” Giles said, heatedly.

“Yeah, I should’ve done that. Then William would’ve had time to go hide out in Asia or something,” Buffy said, hands on her hips. “I’m sure you would’ve helped him disappear, seeing you’re the expert on that.”

“What did you expect from him?” Giles asked, ignoring the baiting. “You just pop in here...”

“Whoa, calm down guys,” Willow said.

Giles took a deep breath, continuing in a much softer tone. “Buffy, it’s not that I don’t want you here. Please, don’t think that. I’m very glad you’re here, just as I’m sure William is as well. You just took him aback, is all.”

“Is that what that was? Being taken aback?”

Giles didn’t answer.

Buffy’s shoulder’s sagged as the adrenaline, which had sustained her, now ebbed away.

“How could you not tell me William was here all this time? That he’d come to you? Why is he here? How did he even know where you lived?”

Giles took a deep breath. “To answer your last question first; last year in Julian, unbeknownst to you, I did give William a card with my phone number, and the offer that if he ever needed to, he could call me. The reason being was that I could foresee that he might someday have questions you either couldn’t, or wouldn’t answer.”

The betrayal stung like a slap, and Buffy took a step backwards.

“Such as?”

“Such as The Council’s records, as they pertain to him.”

“I thought The Council and all it’s records had been blown up,” she said, icily.

“Not those that I’d already had in my possession, and that would apply to the totality of files of one William the Bloody.”

“Know what I think? I think this was your way of still trying to control me; by taking away the one person I love,” Buffy yelled. She knew she wasn’t making any sense, but she was helpless at this point to stop herself from dredging up old wounds. “Admit it Giles, you always hated him, and of all the people he could go to who would fuck with his head...”

“Buffy!” Willow warned.

“That’s patently absurd, even coming from you, Buffy!” Giles said, his voice belying his indignation.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“You want to know what that means?”

“Guys! Stop!” Willow yelled. It had the desired effect. She turned to her friend, first.

“You’re not being fair, Buffy. I don’t think Giles hates William. You don’t, do you?”

“Of course not!” Giles said, shooting Willow an aggrieved look.

“And Giles, you have to know how it looks to Buffy, don’t you? No matter your motives, you went behind her back. Again.”

Giles nodded, sighing. He’d always known that his helping William would likely drive a deep wedge between him and Buffy. Apparently, those chickens had now come home to roost.

“Believe it or not, Buffy, I’ve grown quite fond of William and I have no wish to see him hurting. Back in Sunnydale, I did strongly dislike Spike, but that time has long passed. And admittedly, I did conspire behind your back to remove him from the picture, but only because I wholeheartedly believed Spike was a danger to you and the potentials. Furthermore, I believed that you couldn’t see that because of your feelings for him. I was wrong on all counts. Believe me when I tell you that the last thing I want to do, is to cause you any more suffering than you’ve already had to bear.”

“How could you?” Buffy asked, her voice trembling. “How could you let him read those terrible things without...”

“You?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact.”

“William didn’t want you involved in this, that’s why he came to me. Do you really think me that heartless, Buffy? Do you think I just gave him the files, and let him read them without comment, without discussion, without trying to somehow put it into perspective for him? However, the fact remains Spike killed; killed with impunity. Try as I might- try as you might- there’s no good way to soft sell that.”

“William didn’t kill those people,” Buffy said adamantly.

“No, he didn’t. But William is the one left trying to understand why he’s back. He doesn’t understand why he’s alive again for the first time in over one hundred twenty some years, or after burning up in The Hellmouth.”

“He’s back because he saved the freakin’ world! That’s his reward! Isn’t that what the Sandshoe Prophecy said?” Buffy asked, turning to Willow.

“Shanshu. Yep, that’s what it said,” Willow said, shifting uncomfortably. “Still, there are a lot of questions for William to try to find answers to, Buffy.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t intellectually realize these truths,” Giles interjected. “It’s that he isn’t internalizing them, and that’s where it counts if he’s to be able to make some sort of sense of his life and go on.”

“Yes, he does. I know that.”

“William needed someone who wasn’t in love with him to be able to give him the facts, without censorship,” Giles said gently, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Who else would you rather him have turned to? The only other person, with direct knowledge of who Spike was and what he did throughout all those years is Angel. And even if Angel hadn’t been behind what befell you and William, I doubt you’d have much cared for that option. I have no doubt that if it hadn’t been me; William would have sought out someone else to find his answers from. I gave him my card, Buffy, because I was the safest choice.”

“He could’ve told me. I would’ve taken a leave of absence. I could’ve come, too.”

“William also needed to do this without worrying that you would be in pain, right along with him.”

“Too late for that,” Buffy said, looking at Giles. “Doesn’t he know that I feel what he feels?”

Giles smiled sadly at Buffy.

“He needed to do this on his own.”

“So what do I do now?”

“Well, I believe that if you’re up to it, we go and catch up to William at the party. Then, you talk.”

END CHAPTER 188

CHAPTER 189 – FAKING IT

6:00PM

Before leaving, Giles received a call asking if he could pick up one of the slayers.
He asked the girls if it would be alright if he detoured slightly, assuring them it would only cause a slight delay of about twenty minutes or so in their getting to the party. Buffy knew this was said more for her benefit than Willow's.

"I believe you know her," Giles said to Willow. "Her name is Nancy Ferguson."

Willow looked at him blankly.

“I believe you may know her as Fergie?”

Willow nodded enthusiastically. “Fergie, yeah; she was in the first training classes with Kennedy when you opened the school. It’s been a long time since I've heard Kennedy mention her. How is she?"

"Not terribly well at the moment. She broke her leg fighting a group of Felkner demons in Morocco a couple of months ago, and despite slayer healing, she still claims not to be up to resuming her duties."

"Morocco? Isn't that where...?" Willow drifted off.

"Where what?" Buffy asked, looking from Willow to Giles.

"The other two slayers Nancy was on the mission with were killed during the fight," Giles explained.

"Oh," Buffy said. For the second time in as many days, she once again felt a sense of guilt over, yet, more slayer deaths.

"We suspect that has more to do with her unwillingness to come back than her broken leg does, although she declined to see our therapist afterwards. We haven't seen much of her lately, so the girls were very glad to have persuaded her into coming out for the party."

“You have a therapist now? Wow.”

Giles nodded. “Yes, it was long overdue, wouldn’t you agree? Many workplaces have them, and I’d say that in our line of business, it’s all the more necessary.
Actually, we were quite lucky that she was one of our own. When the girls got called up, one of them, Marjorie Thompson, had already been a practicing therapist for a couple of years. She was something of a wunderkind, graduating from the university at quite a young age. In short, she came to us, trained and became an active slayer. I’m not sure the impetus, but after a few years she decided she could better serve the cause by doing what she’d been originally trained to do, so she went back into private practice, but on retainer to The Council.”

“Again, wow.”

"Before I forget, I didn't want to assume you hadn't already made other plans," Giles said, clearing his throat, "but if not, you're both more than welcome to stay here."

Willow looked at Buffy, expectantly.

"Thanks, Giles. That would be fine."

"There are two spare bedrooms on the second floor, if you'd like me to get your luggage before we leave?"

"No, we can do that when we get back," Buffy said, eager to get going.

"Then we'll be on our way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6:00PM

Still stunned by Elizabeth’s sudden appearance, and his escorts coming to drag him to the party, he’d numbly climbed into the back seat of the small sedan they’d come to collect him in. For as long as he could, he watched Elizabeth, standing at Giles’ door until he could no longer see her, as the car had sped away.

Now, as they drove to the party, William listened to the chatter of the girls. He even responded appropriately, though for the very life of him, he couldn’t remember what it was that he said, or was said to him. Vaguely, he was aware that Rose was sitting closer to him than even the small back seat space demanded, and kept discreetly inching as close to the door as possible.

“William, you never told us Buffy was coming,” Rose commented, off-handedly.

“I...I didn’t know.”

“She just showed up, huh? Rather inconsiderate of her not to give you fair warning, wasn’t it?”

All William could do was nod.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you,” she said, then bent over to whisper in his ear, “I’ll take care of you.”

Shocked, he pulled away, at least as far as the six inches of space Rose had between them would allow. Before he could respond to her, they arrived at the party. Getting out of the car posthaste, William hurried towards the door, but they easily caught up to him. Once again, he felt Rose and Mary loop their arms through his.

Inside, the party was just getting underway. Mary soon left his side to talk with others, but Rose still had her arm through his. His head still reeling, he none-the-less went through the motions of saying hello to those who came up to greet him, noticing that some of them gave Rose a knowing look that he couldn’t help but miss. In fact, suddenly, all the little signals he’d been missing or ignoring previously, now became crystal clear to him.

Oh, dear God.

He couldn’t believe this was happening to him now of all times. Now!

Finally, he extricated himself from her, telling her he had to use the loo. Luckily, she didn't follow. He took the lift up to Giles office, and tried the door, hoping that Giles somehow had forgotten to lock it. No such luck. Another door, leading to a storage room was open however, and he let himself in, sinking down against the inside of it.

“She’s here. Here. Elizabeth’s here,” William repeated to himself, as he tried to wrap his brain around the fact. His pulse quickened, as he recalled how lovely she’d looked in his mind’s eye. She was really here.

The more he examined it, the more he realized that only a part of him was truly shocked. Though it wasn’t as if he’d actually been expecting her; quite the contrary. In fact, he’d never expected to set eyes on her again, in this, or any other world. And yet, she always seemed to have a knack of showing up, just in time to try to save him...

“Bloody hell! Who asked you to?” he cursed aloud to the four walls. Didn’t she get it? There was nothing inside him left to save. How dare she just show up, bolloxing up his plans? Inconsiderate, indeed! Damn right, it was!

He knew he had to get back to the party soon or Rose and the other slayers would send out a search party.

Rose.

He groaned. Of all the lousy timing in the world, he had to have the absolute worst. What the hell was he going to do about this unfortunate situation?
Then it dawned on him; it was the perfect ruse. William felt a pang of guilt for the deception he was about to set into motion involving an unwitting Rose, but aimed at Elizabeth. The words to an old song his mother sang to him came to mind, “How could you use a poor maiden so?” and made him feel strangely uneasy.

Still, worse than having Elizabeth believe him interested in another, and walk out, would be for her to find out firsthand exactly what that darkness still inside him was capable of.

“Time for Plan B,” William said, as he rose to rejoin the Christmas party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6:15PM
THE OUTSKIRTS OF BLACKHEATH

Giles rode up front with Willow, while she took the backseat, mulling over the events of the past hour. During the long hours of the flight, the one thing that she’d replayed a hundred times over in her head was what it would be like, in those first moments they saw each other again. Out of all those scenarios, not one of them had even come close. The only clear emotion that she seemed to get from him was...fear.

Why fear? It didn’t make any sense.

“What’s William been doing with his days?” Buffy suddenly blurted out.

The talking up front ceased.

“Sorry guys, that was rude.”

Giles turned around to face her.

“It’s alright, Buffy. That’s a very good question.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, it is a very good question. I didn’t want you to get the impression that William has been sitting around the flat moping all of the time. He’s actually been quite helpful to me and the girls.”

“How? Fighting demons?” Buffy asked, a tinge of bitterness creeping into her voice, especially since William had denied doing that in his email.

“No, of course not. Do you think I would encourage him to do that while he was here? Give me some credit, Buffy.”

“I’m sorry, Giles. I’m just...rattled, I guess.”

“Quite understandable.”

“So, how’s he been helping?”

“Actually, he’s quite good at translating. William has an excellent mind for languages, and I’ve been very pleased with everything he’s helped me with so far. As for the girls, he’s been helping them train; much like Spike used to with you.”

“I see,” Buffy said, feeling a pang of jealousy, as well as longing for her old slayer days, and Spike.

“He still has quite the knack for sparring, and his fencing skills are the kind one only sees from classical training, although he’s not above using street fighting skills along with those either,” Giles said, not bothering to mention the exception to that statement that was yesterday’s debacle.

“Well...that’s good. I’m glad he’s been able to help out,” Buffy said. It now seemed that all her worrying about William had been for nothing. William had obviously found something meaningful to keep himself busy, when he wasn’t searching for answers about his past. She knew she should be happy for him, and she was, but she also felt...left out.

“Yes, I’d have to say that William has been very helpful; that is, when he’s been there,” Giles said, just as they pulled up to the flat of Nancy Ferguson, aka, Fergie.

“I’ll go get her,” Willow volunteered, getting out of the car.

“What do you mean, when?” Buffy asked.

“William has only been there...let me think...perhaps half the time since he’s arrived; probably less. I believe I’ve been able to discern a pattern to it. I started to notice that after we’d speak of his past, William withdraws for a while; seemingly to be alone in order to digest what he’s just found out.”

“What does he do during that time?” Buffy asked, doing a quick calculation in her head.

“I’m not sure, Buffy. William generally doesn’t share that with me. I know he’s spent some time at one of the libraries on the Greenwich University campus, and I believe he’s even ventured into London. Other than that, I really can’t say. I will tell you this; he doesn’t sleep very regularly, if at all.”

“I know,” Buffy answered, tersely.

“However, under the circumstances, I’d say William’s doing as well as can be expected. It’s been a hard few months for him; wouldn’t you say?”

The sure-to-agitate-Giles expression, ‘Duh,’ sprang to mind, but before she could invoke it, Willow had come back to the car with Fergie. Quick introductions were made, and they got under way. Despite Giles and Willow’s best efforts to draw her into conversation, it was clear she wasn’t very happy to be there. Coupled with Buffy’s preoccupation with seeing William, conversation attempts soon died and they drove along in uncomfortable silence. Twenty minutes later they pulled up in front of the modest brick building, which was now Council headquarters.

Nervously, Buffy followed Giles, Willow, and Fergie up the walkway to the door. If she had any illusions of having a chance to talk privately with William, they were soon shattered. As soon as she walked in, a murmur went up amongst the dozen or so people who were in the entry hall. Buffy quickly found herself surrounded by fellow slayers; both those she knew, and ones she’d never seen. Except for a few that she’d known as potentials, she couldn’t help but be shocked by how young they appeared to her.

Fortunately, Giles and Willow extricated her a few minutes later to take her downstairs to the party proper.

Buffy leaned against the wall of the lift as soon as the doors slid closed.

“Take a deep breath, Buffy,” Willow said, gently.

“I’m okay. I just didn’t expect...”

“Yeah, I know.”

“When the time is right, you and William can go upstairs to the offices to talk,” Giles said, as the doors opened and act two began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6:45PM
THE COUNCIL

The last half-hour had been agony for William. Not only had Rose not left his side since he’d returned from the upper floor, but every time he heard or saw the lift doors open, he expected Elizabeth to come through them. Every time she didn’t, he was flooded with equal amounts of relief and disappointment. This time, though, there was no mistaking who had arrived. An excited chatter immediately rose in crescendo, as all eyes fell on her as she entered the main room, accompanied by Willow and Giles. The crowd wasted no time in surrounding her.

Through it, her eyes sought him out from across the room and he saw his name beginning to form on her lips, silently calling out to him. His heart simultaneously responded and broke, as he forced himself to turn his eyes away from Elizabeth's longing gaze; hoping his own hadn’t given him away.

Steeling himself, he turned to listen to the self-absorbed and immature prattling of Rose and a few of the other girls. Not that he could blame them. They were young and free from their responsibilities for the night, and in a good mood, enhanced by spirits, both liquid and holiday. Guiltily, he made himself smile and laugh at something Rose, his unwitting partner in his farce; his Plan B, had just said to him. This served to encourage her to move closer still, resulting in William having to fight the urge to flee.

~~~~~~~~~~

As the party went on, they surreptitiously watched each other from across the room. Buffy kept telling herself it was only a matter of time until the others would tire of the novelty that was her, and she’d be able to talk to William.

Without trying to appear too obvious, he’d watched as both slayers and watchers alike took turns talking to Elizabeth. He couldn’t blame them for wanting to be in her orbit; she was...glorious. He watched, but he stuck with his plan. Even when a dark haired, handsome watcher from France engaged her in conversation, he fought the urge to go to her. And even when jealousy coursed through him, when the sound of her warm laughter reached his ears, knowing another man was the source for it, he stayed his course.

~~~~~~~~~~

It had taken nearly an hour, but she’d finally been left alone for the first time since arriving. Gratefully, she saw that William was as well, and started to make her way to him.

Twenty feet...keep walking, fifteen...almost there, only ten more...

“Buffy! It’s so nice to see you!”

‘No!’ Buffy inwardly screamed, while her feet reluctantly came to a halt of their own accord.

“Hello, Vi,” Buffy said, smiling between gritted teeth, “How are you?”

“I’m doing really good, Buffy.”

No sooner had Buffy told her that she was glad to hear it, that Vi launched into talking about old times in Sunnydale, and the school here in London. All the while, Buffy desperately tried to find an opening so she could excuse herself. As she waited for that opening, she saw that the chance had alluded her. That girl, Rose, had come back and was once more hanging all over William, and to her deepening despair, he didn’t seem to mind.

It didn’t take long for Vi to realize that while Buffy was nothing but pleasant, her focus was on a certain person across the room. Seeing her eyes narrow suddenly, Vi turned to look at the cause.

“He’s not with her, you know.”

Buffy turned and looked at her; really looked at her, for the first time since they’d been standing there talking. She suddenly understood that of all the people there, besides Willow and Giles, Vi seemed to be the only one aware of the strange dynamics taking place between her and William.

“How can you be sure? He looks pretty...cozy with her,” Buffy said, her gut twisting at giving words to what she’d been thinking.

“Because, Buffy, I’ve seen the look he gets on his face whenever your name has been mentioned. I’m not saying that Rose isn’t interested in William, but until tonight, I’ve never even seen him even speak more than a couple of words to her outside of when they’ve trained together.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said, though she wasn’t sure she was convinced from the look of things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:00PM

“Hey Giles, good party,” Willow said, as she joined him in front of the desert table.

“Thank you, Willow, but I’m afraid all the credit goes to the girls. They planned and executed it all on their own.”

“Still, good party. Well, at least for some of us.”

Giles followed Willow’s gaze to where Buffy stood on one side of the room, and William on the other. He shook his head sadly.

“Do you think you could take Buffy on a tour or something? I’d like to try to talk to William, but I’m not sure how Buffy would take it.”

“What will you say to him?”

“Besides telling him that he’s being a poophead? I don’t know, I guess I’ll just wing it. Something meaningful, of course.”

“Of course,” Giles said, with a wry grin. He finished the last of his pudding, and threw his plate into the garbage receptacle.

“Good luck,” he said with a nod to Willow, and headed off in Buffy’s direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello Vi, good party. You girls did a marvelous job,” Giles said, as he came up to the two girls.

“Thanks, Giles.”

“And you, Buffy?” he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m great. Just peachy keen,” she said, darting a glance in William’s direction.

“Actually, Buffy, I was wondering if you’d like to see my office upstairs,” adding when he didn’t get a response, “where William also works.”

“Oh...yeah, sure. Why not?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:15PM
SECOND FLOOR WATCHER’S OFFICE

“So, this is Council headquarters,” Buffy commented, as she looked around the office.

“Yes, yes it is. It’s modest, but it serves our purposes. This, however, is a bit more hi-tech,” Giles said, pulling open a set of sliding cabinet doors to reveal the monitors inside. He selected the training room where the party was taking place and she was immediately offered six different views of the room.

“Impressive. Guess that makes you Big Brother, eh, Giles?” Buffy teased, making herself turn back towards the rest of the office.

“Very funny. I thought it was practical, not Big Brotherish.”

“Sure you did...”

“Is this William’s desk?” Buffy asked, already knowing the answer when she’d spotted the neatly arrayed binders, books, and pens; as well as seeing his peculiarly old-fashioned script when she’d flipped open a notepad.

“Yes, this is where William works. In fact, he was just here earlier today. I must admit that I was quite heartened that after last weekend, he decided to come back so soon. Then again, I’m not sure at all what, if anything, did happen to him.”

“What do you mean happen to him? What happened last weekend?”

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t mean to alarm you.”

“Too late, Giles. What happened?”

Giles sighed. “The girls gave me two tickets to a football match...what you call soccer in The States; Chelsea versus Manchester United.”

Buffy shrugged, the names meaning nothing to her.

“Anyway, I asked William if he’d like to accompany me, and he accepted. We went, had a good time; at least I thought so, but before the end of the game, he upped and disappeared on me.”

“What do you mean, disappeared?”

“Just what I said. William got up from his seat, and simply never returned. Later that night, after I’d already launched an all-out slayer search party on his behalf; he turns up at the flat, drunk as hell. Vi was here, and as there was nothing else to be done at that point, we put him to bed.”

“Is William still drinking a lot?” Buffy asked, memories of Los Angeles forever seared into her brain.

“Not that I can tell, Buffy. That was the first time I actually saw him drunk since he’s arrived.”

Buffy let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t much to hang any hope on, but small favors were small favors, and at this point, she’d take what she could get.

“Did you ask William what happened?”

“Of course I did; the very next day. Not that it did me any good. Not only didn’t he even remember the night before, but he also wasn’t at all forthcoming about his reasons for abruptly leaving the game. The only thing he said was that he'd felt claustrophobic; which I highly doubted."

"Were there a lot of people? When William first came back, he nearly freaked whenever we had to go anyplace that had a lot of people."

"Well, yes. There was a very large crowd; around forty thousand, I believe. I suppose that could've been the reason," Giles said, taking off his glasses in a familiar gesture. Then he shook his head. "No, it must've been more than that. If it was just the sheer number of the crowd, he could've either told me, or if not that, then I would've at least expected that he'd been waiting for me after the game had ended."

Buffy shrugged, not sure in the scheme of things how important his leaving the game and coming home drunk later mattered.

“Like I said, I was heartened that afterwards, he decided to get on with things, as it were,” Giles said, looking at the monitor, where William now stood alone. “Still...”

“What?” Buffy asked, joining him as he watched the screen.

Giles shook his head.

“Giles!”

“It’s just...do you see William there now?”

“Yeah, he’s just standing there, so?”

“I don’t know. Just watch.”

“He looks like he’s looking for someone,” Buffy said, dryly.

“That would be you, my dear.”

“I don’t think so. William seems perfectly happy without me.”

“Balderdash! That’s rubbish, and you know it,” he said, pointing her attention back to the monitor.

They watched together for a few more minutes; a feeling of unease beginning to grow. When someone was nearby, William looked up as though everything was fine; but as soon as he was alone momentarily, it all fell away and his face bore a look of anguish to it that was hard to mistake.

“He’s faking it all, isn’t he?” Buffy asked softly.

“I can’t be positive, Buffy, but I rather suspect so. I just had some concerns this week, despite his eagerness to come back to work, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m glad to have you weigh in on it. You know, as Spike, I could almost always tell when he had some ulterior motive, or agenda. With William...well, I just wish I knew why he felt it necessary to put on an act,” Giles said, turning off the monitor, just as he saw Willow heading towards William.

“Thank you,” Buffy said, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know either, but I intend to find out.”

“Maybe we should go back to the party now. I think you’ve probably had enough of the tour. Besides, you’ll come back during a proper working day while you’re here.”

“Fair enough,” Buffy said, nodding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:20PM

After working out the logistics of it, Willow walked up to Vi and whispered something to her. A few minutes later, Vi had succeeded in getting Rose out of the room on a false pretext.

William stood alone, anxiously scanning the room, when Willow walked up.

“Hello, William. Enjoying the party?”

He jumped at the sound of his name, as he spun around. “Oh, Willow. Hello! How are you?”

“Don’t you ‘Willow, hello-how-are-you’ me,” she said, deciding on the Buffy method of pulling no punches approach from earlier that evening. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

William just stared at her.

“And don’t give me the woe-is-me story, either. I get that you had a big shock finding out that you were Spike and all that. It can’t be easy to accept. I get it. Still, Buffy, the woman who loves you, just flew across the ocean to see you; and what are you doing? Nothing! That’s what!”

“Willow, it’s...it’s not that simple, there are things...”

“Things, shmings, William!” Willow said, hands on hips. “All I can say is that you’d better go over and get things straightened out with Buffy before it’s too late.”

William stood staring down at the ground.

“There’s only so much anyone can wait around for another person to get their, pardon the expression, shit together. She waited...well, not waited, because she didn’t know you were coming back at all, so that’s not correct,” Willow stammered. “Let’s just say she was sort of in a state of waiting... after you, rather Spike, died. That’s it; a state of waiting.”

“Bollocks!” William said, surprising Willow, and himself as well, with his outburst. “Elizabeth was living! She had her teaching, she had friends, she had a...a life!”

"I'm sorry to disagree, but Buffy wasn't doing much living; hiding out in your house in Julian and going through the motions is more like it. As for friends, she had Clem. Don't get me wrong, we all love Clem and he's a great person...er demon...um, you know what I mean. The point I'm trying to make is that Clem was the only person she was close to in all that time. You lived with her for a year. Who else is she close to? Okay, there's Edna, but that's different. She was hardly even in contact with any of us, except for Dawn, during all that time. Until you came back. Before that, Buffy was hiding from the world, hiding from ever being hurt again; of loving ever again."

"No!" William said, shaking his head vehemently. "She just hadn't found love again. She had a life--one without vampires and monsters; that's what she had!”

“Is that all you think she wanted? You don’t think you gave her anything in the past year that made her happy?”

William didn’t answer.

“You know, I used to have a better opinion of you; as a man and a vampire. At least Spike wouldn’t give up.”

William cringed at once more being compared to Spike and found wanting. Obviously, he wasn’t even as good a man as the killer inside had been. All the more reason to stick with the plan. He was nothing anymore.

“Well?” Willow asked, staring at him with the best resolve face she could muster.

“Where is she?” William asked softy, looking around the room.

“I think she went upstairs with Giles for a few minutes. But when she gets back...”

“Alright,” William said, nodding.

“Oh, and nice seeing you again,” Willow said, quickly hugging him before walking off.

At the refreshment table, William grabbed the bottle of rum used in the spiked punch, and poured himself a cup straight up. The more he thought of it, the angrier he got. Who the hell was Willow to come to him and tell him what Elizabeth needed and didn’t need?

One thing was clear to him; she didn’t need to be pulled back into the ugliness and the darkness that had been her lot as the slayer. Living with a former killer, or a monster masked as a man, would do nothing but draw her back into that darkness. Whatever Willow thought of him, be damned! He couldn't let that happen.

Just then he saw Elizabeth heading in his direction, a determined look on her face. Before he could decide what to do, the answer presented itself in the guise of the young, seductive slayer.

“Miss me?” Rose asked, as she sidled up to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles caught sight of Willow when he got off the lift and headed towards her.

“So, you spoke to William? How did it go?”

“I think it went very well,” Willow said, nodding. “You would’ve been proud of me, Giles. I was forceful, but fair. I basically told him he was being an asshole, and he’d better get his act together and go find Buffy before it was too late.”

“Well, good. As long as you got the message across.”

“I think he most certainly...oh, crap.”

Giles followed Willow’s wide-eyed gaze to where William stood with his arm around a slayer, but most definitely, not the right slayer. He turned to Willow.

“And what exactly did you say to him?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy had come back down to the party, fully intending to use her slayer strength if need be, in order to drag William off somewhere alone to talk to him. What she didn’t expect, and what stopped her dead in her tracks, was to see William languidly put his arm around Rose and smile at her in such an intimate way that it made her throat constrict. As if on cue, William had turned to look at her.
In contrast to earlier when he'd quickly looked away before she could fathom what he might be feeling; he now held her gaze directly, challengingly.

He held his breath and waited.

Rose instinctively tightened her grip on him, as she watched the interaction in silent triumph. No way did William still want Buffy-the-has-been-Slayer. After all, just whom did he have his arm around, at this very moment?

Nearby, Vi was also watching, with a concerned expression written on her face. Catching her eye, Rose smiled at her with smug satisfaction. Crow, anyone?

Buffy held William's stare for as long as she could, trying to find something, anything there, that would tell her what was in his heart; if she was still in his heart.

William didn’t flinch.

Finally, she gave a short nod, and turned away, but not before he’d seen the pain in her eyes; the pain he’d intentionally inflicted. The glass William had been holding finally gave way under the increasing pressure he’d been exerting on it, quietly shattering.

Rose startled as the glass shards fell down near her feet, and she saw his bloody hand.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Well something did. Poor baby, you’re bleeding. Come on, let’s get something for that,” she said, trying to pull him along with her.

For the first time all evening, William forcibly shook her off. She looked at him, confused.

”I'm sorry, Rose. I...I didn' t mean to mislead you; and I'm afraid that I have, but I can't do this," he said, as he stepped away from her.

“Can’t do what? Let me help you with your hand?”

“No, not that,” he said, waving his hand between them. “This; I can’t do this.”

Hurt, was quickly replaced by righteous indignation and anger, as she realized that he had played her.

“This was all about her, wasn't it? Letting me hang around you tonight, acting like you were interested, putting your arm around me; it was all about making her jealous, wasn't it?”

“Yes,” he answered simply, knowing he couldn't voice the real reasons for his deception. Even if he did, it likely wouldn't have made her feel any better.

"Well, you devious bastard," Rose said, her eyes narrowing.

"I'm sorry..."

"Save it! Just a word of warning; you may not want to have me as a fencing partner anymore. If you get careless again, and I hurt you, I won’t be sorry.”

William looked at Rose for a moment, then nodded. He understood. At the very least, he deserved her ire.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having seen the goings on, Willow quickly headed towards Buffy, who at the moment was impatiently jabbing the up button on the panel next to the lift.

“Come on you piece of shit.”

“Hey, Buffy.”

Buffy turned and saw Willow’s eyes, full of questions and sympathy. She shook her head.

“Is your trunk locked?”

“My trunk? I don’t think so, why?”

“I’m leaving. I...I can’t stay here, I can’t stay at Giles’,” Buffy said, as she stepped into the lift. Willow followed behind her.

“Where will you go?” Willow asked, not bothering with why. She already knew the answer to that.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll get a motel room for the night.”

“I think you’re going to have a hard time. Everything is probably all sold out for the holidays.”

“Then I guess I’ll just head back to the airport.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to find a flight, either.”

“Then I’ll just sleep there until I do,” Buffy said, her voice rising. “I just can’t stay here!”

“I know. I saw. He’s being an asshole.”

“Maybe. Or maybe I was, for running after him.”

“Don’t, Buffy. I don’t know what his deal is, but whatever it is; it’s not your fault, it’s his.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter, does it? William doesn’t want me here, that much is clear.”

“Oh, Buffy...”

“Look, if there’s a motel room available, a cab driver will most likely know where there’s one, right?”

Willow nodded.

“In any case, I won’t leave without seeing you first. I can still visit with you, right?”

“Darn tootin’” Willow said, optimistically. “Besides, we haven’t even gone shopping yet.”

At the door, Buffy buttoned her jacket, then turned back around, “Just tell Giles...just tell him. He’ll understand. Oh, and I’m leaving that manuscript tube thing in the trunk. Make sure he gets it, okay?”

“I will. I’m so sorry, Buffy,” Willow said, hugging her.

“Don’t be; it’s not your fault.”

“I could go with you,” Willow offered, “we could buy lots and lots of pints of ice-cream; chocolate ice-cream, and we could...”

“I appreciate the offer, Willow. I really do, but right now, I just think I need to be alone.”

“You won’t be,” Willow said, putting her hand on her heart.

Buffy swallowed back her tears of gratitude. Then, hugging Willow quickly, she turned and walked out into the night.

END CHAPTER 189

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