Spike waited impatiently for evening to come.  He knew that Buffy
wouldn't come to collect him for patrol that night.  She'd do
everything in her power to avoid dealing with what had happened
between them the night before.  And he wasn't going to pressure her. 
He just wanted to talk to her about it.  Try to get her to admit that
she had feelings for him.  He could wait a little while for her to
come to terms with her emotions.  And then they'd be together. 
Finally, they'd be together.

***

Buffy hung up the phone and started towards the living room to gather
her weapons for patrol.  Giles had taken an awfully long time to tell
her that he had nothing to tell her.  He had gone to England a week
ago to report on the Glory situation to Travers and to do his own
research on both the hell god and the Knights who were her sworn
enemies.  So far, he had found out nothing more than what they
already knew.

Buffy was a bundle of nerves that evening hoping that she wouldn't
see Spike.  She just couldn't believe that she'd kissed him last
night.  And it wasn't just a kiss, it'd been an all-out tongue
lashing.  Until she'd come to her senses she'd been lost in the kiss,
totally overcome.  Even now when she thought about it, she burned. 

This was so not good.

This was Spike.  Evil, soulless Spike.  Okay, he'd helped save Dawn
from Glory, and he'd been her best ever patrol partner all summer,
and sometimes he was the only one she could talk to, and he was fun
to be around when he wasn't being a total jerk, but he was still
evil.  That chip prevented him from hurting humans, but it hadn't
changed the basic creature.  Spike was still Spike.  And in the end,
Spike was evil.

These thoughts kept running around and around in Buffy's mind.  And
the more she thought about them the more upset she became.  In a
couple days she might have been able to put more prospective on the
matter.  She might have been able to see that in reality Spike really
was *not* the same creature he'd been when he first came to
Sunnydale.  And she might have come to terms with her feelings for
him.

But it was still too soon.  Buffy was still freaked out; her emotions
were still all in a jumble.  She was unable to comprehend anything
but that she'd kissed a soulless vampire.  And that she'd enjoyed
it.  A lot.

So it was unfortunate that Spike showed up.   

She had just gathered her stakes and secreted them about her body
when the door opened and Spike walked into the house.  Glancing
around, he saw that they were alone.  He opened his mouth to speak
when Buffy forestalled him.

"Don't, Spike."

"Don't what, love?"

"If you're here to patrol with me, fine.  If you're here for anything
else, don't."

"Buffy, we need to talk."

Buffy glared at him.  "There is *nothing* to talk about Spike."

"We kissed, Buffy.  We didn't just kiss, we *kissed*."

"And it will never happen again, so just forget about it, Spike."

"I can't forget about it.  There was heat there, Buffy, and passion. 
Don't tell me you didn't feel it too."

"What I felt or didn't feel is not open to discussion, Spike."  She
tried to push past him, but he grabbed her arm. 

"You can't ignore this, love.  There's something between us and you
know it."

Buffy jerked her arm out of his hand.  "There's nothing between us,
Spike.  Not like you mean.  You're a vampire, remember?"

"So is Angel."

Buffy rounded on Spike, furious.  "Angel was different and you know
it.  He has a soul."

"And that I don't have a soul makes that much of a difference?"

Buffy looked at him as if he'd lost his mind.  "Of course it makes a
difference."

"Yeah, well that precious soul of his didn't do him much good after
you shagged him happy now did it?" Spike snarled, his frustration
getting the better of his good intentions.  "Brought Angelus right
out to play didn't you?

Buffy went pale of this reminder of that terrible time.  "Yes, I
did.  And Angel without his soul did horrible things, killed my
friend and teacher, almost brought about the end of the world." 
Buffy's voice was cold and harsh.  "So tell me, Spike, what if we did
get all lovey-dovey like you want?  What happens if that chip stops
functioning?  How many people will you kill before I can bring myself
to stake you?"

Spike stared at her in astonishment.  "For god's sake, Buffy, do you
think I have no control over myself at all?"

"You're a vampire, Spike.  And without that chip, you're a killer."

"And I can choose to not be a killer.  You care for me, love, I know
you do. You just need to believe in me, trust me."

"I can't, Spike.  I can't take that chance."

"Can't or won't?"

"Both."

"Damnit, Buffy, listen, please," Spike pled lifting his hands to
place them on her shoulders. 

"I said no!" Buffy shouted pushing him away so hard he fell onto the
foyer floor.  Spike looked at her with shock.  She hadn't been
violent with him since he'd endured Glory's torture.

Spike's eyes went hard.  Rising from the floor he snarled, "You're
dead wrong about me, Buffy, but you're too much of a scared little
girl to admit it."  Turning on his heel he stormed out of the house. 
Buffy flinched at the sound of the slamming door and then sat down on
the arm of the couch trembling slightly as she got her emotions back
under control.  She was right; she knew it.  Unfortunately, being
right didn't make her heart ache any less.

After a few minutes she left the house.  She'd half expected to see
Spike leaning against the tree at the front of the house, smoking a
cigarette and being contrite, asking forgiveness and starting the
whole damned argument over again.  She was surprised and relieved
that he wasn't there.  Turning left at the sidewalk, she started her
patrol.

Hours passed without seeing him.  She'd found and staked several
vampires, but there was no sign of Spike.  She was going through the
last cemetery of the night when she heard a disturbance.  Heading
towards the sound she stopped short when she saw Spike fighting six
other vampires.  Buffy automatically grasped her stake prepared to
enter the fray, but it was obvious that Spike was having no trouble
against his opponents.  As she watched, the six became four, then
three and then one.  Buffy was just turning to go, knowing that Spike
would dispatch this last one with ease, when she heard him talking to
the last vamp standing.  Turning back, she saw that Spike had the
vamp pressed up against a large stone monument, his forearm pressed
across the other's throat holding him in place.

"Swear allegiance to me."

"W-what?"

Spike grabbed the vampire and slammed him hard against the monument. 
Buffy winced at the sickening thud of the vamp's head bouncing off
the marble.

"I said swear allegiance to me.  Tell me you'll serve me."

"S-sure, Spike."

"Swear you'll do anything I tell you to do.  Bring me fresh young
girls, kill them for me and let me feed."

"S-sure, Spike.  You want me to fetch you dinner?  I can do that."

"Swear you'll turn the humans I tell you to and build me an army of
minions."

The vampire started to brighten up at this.  "You going to take over
the town again, Spike?  Sure, sure I can make you an army.  I'll do
anything you want me to do.  You just tell me."

Spike pulled away from his captive.  The vampire was straightening
his clothing, babbling on about the honor of working for Spike and
how he'd do anything Spike wanted, just say the word, yes sir, when
he exploded into a pile of dust.  "That's what I thought," Spike
growled shoving the stake back into his duster pocket.

Buffy was staring at Spike in horror, her stake clutched tightly in
her fist.  Spike turned to leave and saw her standing there, eyes
wide in shock.  Before she could even move, he was there in front of
her, his hands locked onto her upper arms. 

"Did you hear that, Slayer?  Did you hear all that?"  Buffy could
smell the scent of whiskey on his breath.  "I don't need to have this
soddin' chip out of my head to do evil if I choose," he snarled,
giving her a hard shake and winching slightly when the chip fired. 
Pushing her away from him, he stalked off, duster billowing out
behind him dramatically.

Buffy leaned heavily on the headstone he'd shoved her into.  She felt
sick and she couldn't stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks. 
How could she have been so stupid?  How could they all?  Spike wasn't
harmless.  He'd never been harmless.

Her legs giving way, Buffy sat on the dried grass, a feeling of
complete desolation overwhelming her.

The tsunami had hit shore.

For the next several days, Buffy was quiet and distracted.  Willow
and Tara noticed it when they met up between classes.  Dawn noticed
it and finally brought it up at dinner on the third day.

"What's the matter with you, Ms. Gloomypants?"

"Nothing.  There's nothing the matter."

"Then how come you're all down-in-the-dumps?  Have a fight with
Spike?"

Buffy tensed slightly and then said, "I'm not down-in-the-dumps and
even if I were why would it have anything to do with Spike?"

"Oh you are so down-in-the-dumps.  You're all quiet and mopey and
keep-to-yourselfish.  Which is exactly how you act when you've had a
fight with your boyfriend," Dawn joked.

"Spike in not my boyfriend, Dawn!"  Buffy voice was a little louder
than she had intended.  All three girls looked at her with surprise.
Gathering her composure, she said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.
I've just been busy with classes and going on patrol.  If I seem
quiet it's because I'm thinking about school and stuff, that's all."

Dawn didn't buy it for a minute, but wisely decided to drop it.  She
knew that if Buffy didn't want to talk about something, a rack and
hot pokers wouldn't drag it out of her.  Exchanging a glance with
Willow she was assured that Willow would try to find out what was
bothering her sister.

While Dawn and Tara began the clearing up, Willow casually followed
Buffy into the living room and watched Buffy gathering her weapons
for the evening's patrol.

"So any class in particular giving you trouble, Buffy?"

"Willow, please, don't try to pry."

"Asking about school is prying?"

Sighing, Buffy sat back on her heels and stared down at the stake she
held in her hands.  "I know you're trying to help, Willow, but I
really don't want to talk about what's bothering me, okay?"

"Okay.  But you know that when you're ready, I'm here to listen,
right?  And you can talk to me about anything.  Best buds, remember?"

Buffy gave Willow a small smile.  "I remember.  Thanks, Will."

Standing up and slipping on her jacket, Buffy left for patrol.  She
had refused to change her normal patrol routine just to avoid Spike.
And even though she wasn't ready to see Spike yet, every night that
passed that she didn't see him left her with a strange mixture of
relief and disappointment.  She'd been shocked when she'd realized
that Spike could build himself an army of minions and raise havoc in
Sunnydale.  Her first instinct had been to call Giles and tell him
what she'd seen and heard, but she knew that Giles would simply tell
her to stake Spike to remove any possibility of danger.  The fact
that Spike had saved Dawn, probably saved the world, wouldn't matter
to her cool-headed Watcher.  A year ago she would have had no problem
following that order.  She would have staked Spike and gone dancing
at The Bronze afterwards with no further thought.  But this wasn't a
year ago.  This was now and now was different.  She would not stake
Spike without due cause.  And so she kept her concerns to herself.

She didn't see Spike that night but over the next couple of weeks she
did spot him a few times.  Once he was coming out of a convenience
store close to his cemetery.  He'd stopped right outside the door,
tore open a pack of cigarettes and lit up.  After inhaling deeply,
he'd stalked off into the night.  Another time, she'd been patrolling
through his cemetery when she saw him walking towards his crypt, a
brown paper grocery sack in his arms.  Both times he had either not
noticed her or ignored her presence.  Buffy stalwartly ignored the
feelings of pain and loneliness seeing him caused.

She refused to admit to herself just how much she missed him.

She didn't speak to him again until a full three weeks had passed.
Walking down a side street she heard a commotion and saw the flashing
of emergency lights coming from the direction of the Sunnydale
Museum.  When she got there a crowd had gathered and was looking
towards the museum doors.

"What's going on?" she asked a man standing next to her.

"Museum was robbed and the guard attacked."

"Oh.  You know what was stolen?"

"Heard it was that big diamond they had on display."

"Oh."  Buffy was rapidly losing interest and started to leave.  She
hadn't taken more than two steps when she heard the man say, "What
the hell?"

Turning back she tracked his gaze to the doorway of the museum where
paramedics were wheeling out what appeared to be a life-sized ice
sculpture.  Since paramedics wouldn't be concerned about an ice
sculpture, Buffy came to the logical conclusion that it was a human.
Frozen solid.  Pushing her way through the crowd she got as close as
she could to the ambulance.  Once she got near enough Buffy could see
that it was the museum guard who had been frozen.  She'd never seen
anything like it.  After he had been loaded into an ambulance, she
began to push her way back through the crowd.  It was then she
spotted a familiar face towards the rear of the group.  He glanced at
her, turned and started to walk away.  Pushing even harder, she made
her way through the crowd and called out, "Spike!"

He stopped and turned back to her, a look of supreme indifference on
his face.  It took Buffy back a bit how much that look hurt her.
Steeling herself against her feelings she asked, "Did you see that
guy?"

"Yeah, I saw."

"You know anything about it?"

Spike gave her a sour look.  "No, as a matter of fact, I don't.  I
know I'm evil and all, but I'm not much into frozen food."

Buffy flushed at his jibe.  "I didn't mean I thought you had anything
to do with it, Spike.  I just wondered if you know what kind of demon
could have done this?

"What?  You mean like Iceman?  Mr. Freeze?  The Wishmaster?"

Buffy turned away from his mocking voice but stopped when he said, "I
don't know of any demon that freezes its victims."

Looking back at him she nodded.  "Thanks.  Guess it's an all night
research party.  If you hear anything, will you let me know?"

Spike just shrugged, the disinterested look back on his face.  "If I
hear anything."

Buffy watched as he once again walked away from her.  God, this was
so hard.  She wanted to chase after him, try once again to explain
why it was best they not see each other.  Try to explain why she just
couldn't - wouldn't – allow herself to get involved with another
vampire.  Especially one without a soul. No matter how much she
missed him.  No matter how much she trusted him.  No matter how much
she cared for him.

Her heart aching, Buffy watched until he had disappeared into the
night and then went to call a Scooby meeting.  Maybe research would
turn something up.  Just because Spike didn't know of a demon that
froze its victims didn't mean one didn't exist.

Anya also denied knowledge of a freezing demon.  They searched all of
Giles' books at The Magic Box without success.  When Buffy spoke on
the phone to a still absent Giles he too stated that he'd never heard
of any such demon, but promised to research it in the Council's vast
library.  By the time Friday rolled around, everyone was ready for a
night out at The Bronze.  Dawn had received an invitation to sleep
over at her friend Janice's house so the five adults agreed to meet
at the club after heading home to clean up and change.

Buffy decided to put in a short patrol before meeting the others and
arrived about an hour after everyone else.  Spotting her friends on
the dance floor, she made her way to the bar and ordered a Diet
Coke.  A quick search of the tables led her to the one that held
familiar jackets.  Taking a seat she watched the dancers.  Her eyes
tracked across the dance floor and then held when she spied one
particular couple.

Spike and a dark-haired woman wearing a short black dress and come-
fuck-me shoes were dancing at the far end of the dance floor.  The
woman's arms were wrapped around Spike's neck and her head rested on
his shoulder as they moved together to the slow rhythm of the music.
Buffy felt as if she'd just been punched in the gut.  When the song
ended, the Scoobies headed back to the table with cries of welcome,
but Buffy's full attention was centered on Spike and his partner.
Spike's hand was on the small of her back as they left the dance
floor and headed to the bar where the woman paid for drinks.
"Typical," Buffy huffed to herself.

"Hey, who's the bimbo with the evil undead?" Xander asked following
Buffy's look to the bar.  "Spike get a new vamp girlfriend?  I
wondered why he hasn't been hanging around lately."

"I don't know," Buffy answered trying to sound uncaring.  "Never seen
her before."

"S-she's not a vampire," Tara interjected.

"How do you know, baby?" Willow asked her lover.

"She was in the ladies room when I went a little while ago.  She, um,
used the facilities."

"Well, that settles it," Xander answered in a satisfied tone of
voice.  "As we are all well aware, having spent way too much time
recently with a certain bleached vamp, vampires don't pee.  So
fangbreath has somehow suckered a normal girl into a date.  You going
to warn her off, Buff?"

Buffy hesitated.  If she went over there to warn the girl that Spike
was a vampire, he'd just assume she was doing it because she was
jealous.  Which she so was not.  But if she did nothing and he hurt
the girl...

Sighing, Buffy said, "He won't hurt her.  Chip, remember?  She's
probably a vampire groupie anyway."

As the whole group watched, the girl laid her hand on Spike's chest
and leaned in to speak in his ear.  Spike's answering smile could
only be called predatory.  Finishing his drink in one swallow, he
grabbed the girl's hand and started pushing his way through the crowd
towards the door.  Buffy's hand tightened on her drink.  The plastic
contracted and soda erupted out of the cup and onto the table.  By
the time the mess was cleaned up, Spike and the girl were gone.

***

The girl opened the door to her apartment and entered.  Spike leaned
casually against the doorframe and when the girl saw that he hadn't
followed her in asked, "Aren't you coming in?"

"That an invitation?"

"Sure.  I mean if you want to come inside."

Spike smiled a slow sensuous smile, his hooded eyes roaming over her
body.  Entering, he shut the door and walked up to the girl tracing a
finger down the side of her face.  Leaning down he murmured in her
ear, "Oh, I want to come inside, luv."  The girl's breathing sped up
and she whispered, "You want a tour of my apartment?"

"Sure, pet."

Waving a graceful hand she said, "Here's the living room.  The
kitchen's over there."  Walking to a closed door, she opened in and
said, "And here's my bedroom."  Walking through the door, she stopped
to slip first one shoe and then the other from her feet.  The look
she gave Spike left no doubt that his invitation to enter included
the bedroom.

It hadn't been his intention at the beginning of the evening to shag
the girl when he'd picked her up at The Bronze, but he'd been aware
of Buffy as soon as she'd walked in, had known as soon as she saw
him, knew that her eyes never left him.  But she'd not moved from her
seat.  And he was suddenly tired of it.  Tired of waiting for her to
come to him.  Tired of waiting for her to admit her feelings.  Tired
of the pain and loneliness and futility of loving her.  It was time
to move on.  And the minute that realization hit him, he took the
girl up on her suggestion they go to her place and left the club with
her.

Pulling her up against him, he began kissing her with all the
expertise his hundred and twenty years of existence afforded him.  As
the heat built up, he shrugged out of his duster and pulled the
zipper down the back of her dress.  Pulling the dress open he trailed
kisses and nibbles down her neck and across her shoulder.  The girl's
nails dug into his back through his tee shirt.  Picking her up, he
laid her on the bed and followed her down onto the mattress.  Tugging
the dress the rest of the way off, he threw it on the floor next to
the bed and returned to kissing and caressing her.  The bra was
removed next and Spike took her full breast into his mouth, suckling
at the nipple, bringing forth whimpers and moans from the girl.
Rearing back, he tore his shirt over his head and pressed his chest
against her bare breasts.

He kissed her mouth again as his hands ranged up and down her body,
cupping her breasts, moving lower to stroke her firm ass and pull her
hips closer to his.  Her hands found their way to his belt.  She
unbuckled it, opened his jeans and slid her hand inside.  When warm
soft flesh grasped his cock, Spike shuddered and moaned, "Oh god,
Buffy, I love you so much."

The girl stiffened underneath him.  Pulling her hand out of his
pants, she said, "What did you say?"

"Don't stop, luv," Spike groaned, pulling at her hand to return it to
his shaft.  She yanked it from his grasp and shoved him away hard
enough to knock him completely off the bed.

"Hey, what the hell was that for?"

"Who's Buffy?"

"Huh?"

"Who is Buffy?"

"Where'd you hear that name?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"You just said it when I had my hand on your dick, you asshole.  If
you're going to fuck a girl at least get her name right.  Mine's
Mary."

Spike blinked at her.  "I said Buffy's name?"

"Yes.  Now say mine and come back to bed."

Spike stood up, refastened his pants, then picked up his tee shirt
and pulled it back on.  "Sorry, luv.  Doesn't look like I'm ready to
move on after all."  Grabbing up his duster, he walked out of the
apartment and into the night ignoring the girl's sputtering rage.

He stood outside the apartment door just long enough to light a
cigarette.  His plan to get over Buffy didn't seem to be working so
well. 

He'd first thought that if he stayed away from her, acted as if he
was no longer interested, she'd start chasing after him.  That plan
didn't seem to be bearing much fruit.  Then when he'd decided tonight
to actively try to get over her, to move on, he'd come face to face
with the fact that he really wasn't ready to move on. 

Bugger.

Pathetic.  There really was no other word for it.  The Big Bad
mooning over a girl who was never going to admit to wanting him.  And
not just any girl but a Vampire Slayer, his mortal enemy.  Just when
the hell had William the Bloody turned back into William the Bloody
Awful Poet, all soft and squishy and useless?

Deep in his morose thoughts, he started walking towards his crypt.

***

Buffy stuck it out at The Bronze for another hour trying her best to
pretend she was having fun.  She'd danced a few dances with the gang,
had another Diet Coke and talked to some random guy who'd come up to
the table with the intention of picking her up.  Her obvious lack of
interest eventually drove the guy off.  When she couldn't stand it
any longer, she made an excuse of wanting to make another sweep
before heading home to bed and left the club.

She tried not to think about Spike and the woman he'd left with. 
Unfortunately her brain wasn't obeying her orders to think about
something – anything – else.  As she walked down the street not
really paying any attention to her surroundings, her mind's eye kept
replaying the image of Spike leading the woman out of the club.  Well
apparently all his disclaimers of love for Buffy had been so much
bull.  When she hadn't fallen into his bed, he'd found some tramp
that would.  Well, fine then!  If he was that much of a man whore
that he had to pick up the first easy piece that looked his way then
Buffy had been wise to stay away from him. 

And besides, he was an evil, soulless demon.  Which he so proved
tonight.

Deep in her morose thoughts, she turned a corner and slammed right
into someone coming from the opposite direction.  Hands reached out
to steady her and she looked up into surprised blue eyes. 

Knocking his hands away, Buffy stepped back and took a quick glance
around.  "Where's your new girlfriend?" she snapped.  Shit!  She
hadn't meant to say that.

Spike looked surprised and then a sly smile played about his lips. 
"Jealous, love?"

"Don't be ridiculous.  I'm just making sure you didn't hurt her."

"Sure, Slayer.  Well if you're concerned you needn't be.  She's safe
and warm all tucked up in her bed where I left her."

Buffy felt her heart fall into her stomach.  She'd been pretty sure
that he'd planned to take the girl to bed when they'd left the club,
but to hear it from his own lips made it all too painfully real. 

"If I find out anything's happened to her, Spike, you're dust," she
snarled as she pushed past him.  She hadn't gotten very far when he
was there in front of her blocking her way.

"Define anything, Slayer.  Is shagging someone who isn't you a
dustable offense?"

"I don't want you to... to..."

"Shag you?"

"Yes."

"Yes, you do want me to shag you?"

"No!  Damn it, Spike, you know exactly what I mean."  She moved to go
around him but he danced in front of her blocking her way again.

"If you don't want me to shag you, then why are you so upset because
you think I shagged someone else?"

"Spike, just get away from me."

"Answer my question, Buffy.  Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset.  Now get away from me!"

"Doing a good imitation of someone who's upset."

Buffy stopped trying to get around him and closed her eyes in an
attempt to regain control.  "Look, Spike, I don't care what you do or
who you do it to as long as it doesn't involve eating them."

The look of amusement on Spike's face and raised eyebrow confused her
for a moment until she silently replayed what she'd just said. 
Getting the unintentional double entendre, she blushed furiously. 
"You know what I meant, Spike," she ground out.

"Yeah, I know," he sighed suddenly tired of the game.  "Look, Slayer,
if it makes you feel any better, the girl's alive and well and
uneaten in any sense of the word."

Buffy looked up at him in surprise.  "You mean you didn't..."

"No, I didn't.  Wanted to.  Couldn't."

Buffy's heart started pounding in her chest and she felt just a
little giddy.  The anger faded from her eyes and was replaced with a
more tender emotion.  "Why?" she asked softly, unable to keep the
question from coming out.

Spike reached out a hand and gently caressed her face.  "Do you
really have to ask, Buffy?  There's only one girl I want and she's
standing right here."

"Spike," Buffy whispered, her gaze locked with his.  Responding to
the warmth he saw in her eyes, Spike lowered his head and brushed a
light kiss across her mouth.  Buffy's lips parted automatically and
Spike accepted the invitation.  Claiming her mouth, he pulled her
into his arms.  Her arms slid around his neck and she pressed herself
as tightly up against him as was humanly possible.  Swinging her
around, Spike pushed her up against the wall of the building.  Buffy
gave a little leap and wrapped her legs around his waist.  The kisses
were frenetic, lips and teeth and tongues meeting and parting, mouths
grinding against each other.  Spike was rocking his hips, rubbing his
throbbing erection between her parted thighs.  He was going insane
with his need for her. 

"God, baby, please, please.  I need you so much, Buffy.  Please,
love."

Buffy tore her mouth free of his and lifted her head gasping for
breath.  His mouth immediately found her neck where he pressed hot,
needy kisses against her skin all the while begging her to let him
love her.  She was incoherent with need, ready to take him right
there on the sidewalk.

It was the blare of a car horn and the raucous cries of "Get a room!"
that snapped her out of her passion-fueled trance.  Pushing Spike
back, she lowered her legs to the sidewalk.

"Spike, stop!  Stop!" 

It took all her Slayer strength to push him away from her. 
Uncomprehending, he tried to take her back into his arms and she
pushed him away again.  "Spike, stop it!  For god's sake we're right
out in the open!"

Shaking his head in an effort to clear it, he finally regained a
semblance of control.  Glancing around, he realized what Buffy was
saying.

Swallowing hard, he said, "Right then.  What do you say we take this
to my crypt?"

"No."

He started at her blankly for a moment.  "No?"

"No.  Spike, I'm sorry.  I-I can't..."

"Don't!  Don't you tell me you can't when you bloody well nearly did
right here on the sodding sidewalk.  You want me as much as I want
you, Buffy, and it's time you stopped denying it."

Buffy's head went up proudly.  "I'm denying nothing, Spike.  I
already told you, what I want or don't want, feel or don't feel has
nothing to do with it.  It's about what's right.  And being with you
is not right."

"And being a cocktease is?" he snarled. 

Buffy flushed, embarrassed and ashamed.  "I didn't mean to-to tease
you, Spike.  What just happened was a mistake."

"You seem to be making a habit of making mistakes with me, Buffy. 
You better be careful.  You make too many mistakes and you'll fall
off that marble pedestal you're perching on."  Turning on his heel,
he walked away from her.

Buffy was in a foul mood the next day, snapping and snarling at
everyone.  Even sweet self-effacing Tara didn't escape the Wrath of
Buffy.  After breakfast everyone - including Dawn, who'd returned
home that morning - went to The Magic Box.  They'd pretty much given
up the search for a freezing demon.  Now they were researching for
spells and magical objects that might have been used against the
museum guard.

By the time Buffy left at a little after one for a hair appointment,
everyone was glad to see the back of her.  As five pairs of eyes
watched her pass the window Xander noted, "So, the Buffster seems to
be in a not-so-good mood today."

"Ya think?" Dawn asked dryly.

"I think she needs to have sex," Anya stated matter-of-factly from
her place at the cash register.

"Ahn!"

"Grow up, Xander," Anya said flatly.  "Riley's been gone for almost a
year and she hasn't even been around a man except you and Giles since
then.  Well except for Spike and if she were sleeping with Spike she
wouldn't have the energy to be so bitchy.  Vampires have terrific
stamina."

"Ahn!"

Willow had placed her hands over Dawn's ears at the beginning of this
conversation, much to the disgust of the younger girl.  "I-I don't
think we should be talking about s - e - x around Dawnie," she
whispered desperately.

Dawn tugged Willow's hands from her ears just in time to hear Anya
say, "Oh for god's sake, Willow.  Her bedroom is right next to yours
and Tara's.  You think she doesn't hear you two having lesbian sex?"

Dawn grabbed Willow's hands and smashed them back against her ears.

***

Buffy was feeling a bit better when she left the beauty shop.  The
gentle massage as her hair was washed, idle chatter about
inconsequential matters and the soothing heat of the dryer as her
hair was styled helped her to relax.  Knowing that she needed to
apologize for her earlier behavior, Buffy turned in the direction of
The Magic Box.  Thinking about how she was going to explain her bad
mood she didn't even notice the black van parked across the street or
the three young men wrestling over a gun-like object.

She was crossing in front of an alley when she was struck with a
strong tingling sensation as if she had been hit by a weak electrical
current.  A wave of dizziness swept over her and when her head
cleared she looked down at herself and noticed...nothing.  As in, she
wasn't there.  Twisting around to look all around her body she
realized that she was completely invisible.  A wave of panic filled
her and it took all her willpower to keep control.  Her first thought
was to go to Spike for help, but she quickly tamped that down and
headed at a run to The Magic Box.  She still hadn't noticed the three
young men who now stood with jaws agape staring at where the Slayer
had been just moments earlier.

Slayer speed brought Buffy to The Magic Box within five minutes.
Opening the door she burst in.  Anya looked over from where she was
straightening a shelf full of totems and frowned when she saw no
reason for the door to be opened.

"Anya, it's me," Buffy exclaimed breathlessly.

"Buffy?  Where are you?"

"Right here, in front of you.  I'm invisible."

"Willow!"

Willow looked over the railing from the balcony.  "What?"

"Buffy's invisible.  Were you playing around with the cloaking spell?"

"No!  And how do you know Buffy's invisible?"

"Because she's here and she just told me she's invisible."

"Will, I'm right here," Buffy added picking up a small statue and
waving it to pinpoint her location.

"Oh, wow." Willow said in a weak voice.  Hurrying down the stairs she
added, "How'd it happen, Buffy?"

"I don't know.  I came out of the beauty shop..."

"Did you get the highlights like you were talking about?" Anya
interjected.

"Yeah, and they really look good," Buffy said enthusiastically.

"Uh, guys, let's try to focus.  Go on with your story, Buffy."

"Oh, yeah, sorry.  Anyway, I came out of the beauty shop and was
crossing the alley between Jenkins and Wilkins when I went all tingly
like I'd stepped on a frayed extension cord or something.  I got
kinda dizzy and then I was invisible."

"Okay, we're going to need to investigate where it happened.  I'll
call Xander and Tara so they can meet us there."

It was inevitable that Xander was the one to stumble over the first
clue – literally.  Looking up from the ground where he lay he
said, "Guys, I just tripped over something that's not there."

Willow came over and waving her hands around found the object that
had tripped up her friend.

"It's a traffic cone, I think."

"Ow!"

"What happened, baby?" Willow asked in concern as Tara reached down
and rubbed a toe.

"I think I just found a fire hydrant."

A metallic thumping sound came from a few feet into the alley.  "And
I just found a dumpster," Buffy said.

The quartet continued searching the area for several more minutes,
but was unable to find anything else that was invisible.

"Okay, let's take this traffic cone back to The Magic Box," Willow
said.  "I want to conduct a few experiments, try to find out if it's
a magic spell or possibly science gone wonky."

The others headed for Xander's car, but Buffy held back saying, "Look
guys, I'm going to search around town a bit more, see if anything
like this happened anywhere else.  I'll check in after a bit, see if
you've discovered anything, Will."

"Yeah, okay.  That's not a bad idea.  If you find a series of
invisible objects, we may be able to trace it back to the source."

Buffy watched as her three friends drove away and then began the
search.  A half-hour later she was bored.  She found nothing else
unusual within a six-block radius of the alley.  No missing fire
hydrants, telephone poles, dumpsters or buildings and no other
invisible people.  She thought about sneaking into a movie – what
good was it being invisible if you couldn't see a free show – but
she'd already seen the only movie currently playing that interested
her.  Not really in the mood to go back to The Magic Box and watch
Willow do experiments on the invisible traffic cone, she started
walking randomly through town.  It wasn't until she stood in front of
his door that she realized where she'd been unconsciously heading.

She knew she should walk away, return to her friends, perhaps even
search out vampire nests and do a little slaying.  Instead she
quietly opened the door and peered in.

The upper level was dark and empty.  She was surprised since Spike,
unlike most vampires, was an early riser.  Entering the crypt she
walked slowly, casually, over to the ladder that led down to Spike's
bedchamber.  She should just go.  Leave sleeping vampires lie.

Her right foot hit the first rung of the ladder; then her left hit
the second.  Before she knew it, she was standing at the bottom
looking at the bed.

Spike lay motionless on his back.  A sheet was draped over his hips
and legs.  His chest, stomach and arms were uncovered and bare.  His
right leg was bent slightly and his knee and most of his thigh were
exposed to her view.  His right hand was resting on his flat belly
and his head was turned to the left.

Buffy swallowed at the view he presented to her.  She was pretty
certain that he was naked under the sheet.  Curiosity overcame her
better judgment and she approached the bed quietly, not wanting to
wake him.  Reaching out she carefully lifted the sheet from his hips.

Spike's hand shot out, grabbed her wrist and before she knew it she
was sailing across the bed to land with a bounce on the mattress
beside him.  He rolled over and pinned her body under him.  His eyes
were furious and then he blinked.

"Buffy?"

"Let me up, Spike," she demanded.  Well it would have been a demand
if she'd had any breath to speak with.

"What the hell?  Buffy, what's going on?"

"I'm invisible."

"Yeah, pet, I noticed.  Why are you invisible?"

"We don't know.  Willow's at The Magic Box trying to figure it out.
I was out looking for other invisible things."

"And you thought you'd find something under my sheets?"

Buffy could feel her face burning.  "N-no.  I, um, I just..."  She
really couldn't come up with any kind of excuse.

"Just wanted a peek?"

"No!"  Buffy pushed her hands against his chest.  Spike noticed that
she didn't push very hard.  As a Slayer, she could have thrown him
out of bed and halfway across his chamber with very little effort.
Reaching down, he located her wrists and pulled her arms over her
head.  Settling his body comfortably over hers, he said, "I think you
owe me a forfeit for trying to peek at my goodies."

"I don't owe you anything, Spike.  Let me up."

"A kiss."

"What?"

"I'll take a kiss as my forfeit."

Buffy hesitated.  If she gave him one kiss and he let her up, she
might be able to escape from this embarrassing situation with at
least a part of her dignity intact.

"One kiss?"

"Yeah, one kiss."

"Okay, but then you let me up."

"If you want."

"Oh, I'll want."

Spike lowered his head, but instead of taking his kiss, he began
inhaling her scent, running his head up from her shoulder to her
hair.  "You've colored your hair," he breathed into her ear.

Buffy felt a shiver pass through her body as his voice rumbled in her
ear.  "Just highlights," she said in a barely audible voice.

"Didn't cut your hair, did you?"

"Just a trim."

"Good.  I love your long hair, Buffy."

"You told me before I had stupid hair."

"I lied."

The whole time they were talking Spike had been running his head
lightly over her face, neck, shoulders and chest, never allowing his
lips to come in contact with her flesh.  Every time he moved his
head, his body shifted on hers, rubbing her lightly.  Buffy's heart
was beating rapidly and she began to undulate against him as her body
responded to his touch.  Finally when Buffy thought she would have to
beg him to kiss her, he drew his lips across her cheek and captured
her mouth in a sweet, tender kiss.

Spike lowered his hands to clasp her head as the kiss intensified and
Buffy used her freedom to wrap her arms around his back.  Without
conscious thought, she parted her legs and trapped his hips between
her thighs.  The kiss went on for an eternity.  She could feel
Spike's erection pressing into her belly and she burned.  Buffy ran
her hands over Spike's back reveling in the feel of smooth, cool skin
and firm muscles.  Their bodies rubbed together with increasing
fervor and Buffy slid her hands down his back until she captured his
buttocks and dug her nails into his flesh.

Spike threw his head up and back, his eyes closed as he moaned from
the sensation of the sharp sting of her nails.  Buffy was entranced
by the look of bliss on his face.  When he lowered his head and took
her mouth again, she didn't protest.  And when his hand found her
breast, she moaned and pushed her breast further into his cupped
palm.

Spike leaned back from Buffy and his fingers located the buttons to
her shirt.  One by one he unbuttoned them until the shirt fell open.
He kissed his way across her chest and then took her breast into his
mouth.  Buffy gasped as she felt her bra dampen in his mouth.  He
nipped lightly at the hardened pearl of her nipple and she hissed and
arched under him.

Spike cursed the fact that she was finally where he'd wanted her for
so long, in his bed writhing under his body, and he couldn't see her
face.  Couldn't see the look of desire in her eyes.  But he could
imagine what she looked like right now - eyelids heavy with need
shining from her eyes, mouth open and lips swollen from his kisses,
her beautiful hair fanned out wantonly on his pillow.  Slipping his
hands behind her back, he unhooked her bra and for the first time he
tasted the warmth of her flesh as he took her nipple into his mouth.

The sounds coming from Buffy's throat were fueling the fire that
burned through Spike.  He left off suckling at her breast and
returned to her mouth.  He could never get enough of her sweet
mouth.  Sliding his hand down her body, he rubbed between the
juncture of her thighs.  Buffy thrust her hips up into his hand and
moaned out, "Oh god, Spike."

Pulling away from her, he sat back on his heels and found the button
at the waistband of her slacks.  He worked at unfastening it and then
began pulling her slacks down her legs.  Buffy couldn't take her eyes
from the hardened length that jutted out before him.  Her last really
coherent thought was that she should stop him, that she shouldn't
allow this to go any further.  But she didn't want to stop it, and
then her slacks were off, her thighs were parted, and Spike's mouth
was there between her legs.

Buffy's whole body arched up when his tongue flicked across her
clit.  Her hands wound into his hair and she held him in place as he
lapped and sucked.   He was doing things to her with his mouth that
she'd never felt before.    When he slipped a finger into her she
thought her heart would explode from the overload of pleasure.  She
was completely overwhelmed.

Spike could feel her body begin to tense.  He wanted nothing more
than to taste her when she came, but even more he wanted to feel her
climax clenching around him while he was buried deep inside of her.
Pulling his head away, he ignored her protests and quickly covered
her body with his.  Positioning her hips with his hands, he found her
opening and slid home.

They both froze.  Spike looked down to where he knew her eyes should
be.  It was a little disconcerting to be able to feel her soft,
slender body under him, to feel the wet heat of her passion as it
surrounded his shaft, but not see her.  He soon forgot everything but
the feel of her as he buried his head at the juncture of her neck and
shoulder and began to move within her.  She was everything he'd known
she'd be and more.  Buffy wrapped herself around him with a force
that would have broken the bones of a lesser man.  The nails of one
hand dug into his back and she grasped his hair with the other.  The
only sound in the room consisted of grunts and moans, the squeak of
bedsprings and the slap of flesh meeting flesh.

When Spike knew that he could no longer hold out, he twisted his hips
until a squeal from Buffy let him know he'd found the spot.
Thrusting even harder, he drove into her until she first locked up
under him and then jackknifed as her climax tore through her.  He
followed her seconds later.

Willow had books spread out all around her, but hadn't made much
headway.

"I'm pretty sure there's magic involved here, but I can't find any
kind of spell that'd do this.  I mean we used that cloaking spell,
but that was really more of a "you don't notice me spell" than an
actual invisibility spell.  And besides, it was area-wide not limited
to single objects.  Somehow whoever did this managed to focus the
spell on individual objects instead of a focal point like our
crystal."  Willow pushed the books away from her in
frustration.  "Frankly, I'm stumped."

"Do you think that it'll eventually wear off like our cloaking spells
did?" Xander asked.  "'Cause if so then all Buffy has to do is wait
it out and presto, The Return of Buffy, live and in color."

"I suppose so, Xander.  I mean most spells of this nature have a
limited shelf life.  I just wish I could find out how it was done.  I
don't like things I can't explain."

"Well if it takes a while for Buffy to get visible again, we can
always spray paint her like you did this cone," Xander joked.  "At
least we'd be able to see where she is."  Reaching out, he grabbed
the top of the black-painted cone.  Everyone's eyes widened in horror
as it dissolved in his hand.

***

Spike could feel the warmth of Buffy's body pressed up against him
and hear her slow regular breaths as she slept.  After they'd
climaxed, he'd rolled off her and pulled her up against him.  He'd
expected her to pull back and move away from him, denying what they'd
just shared.  Instead she'd wiggled herself into a comfortable
position, murmured, "I'm going to take a nap," and promptly fallen
asleep.  Spike smiled and brushed a kiss across the top of her head. 
He'd never felt so content.  He closed his eyes intending to take his
own nap when he heard his door open upstairs and a voice calling,
"Spike!" 

Startled, he sat straight up, waking Buffy.

"What's wrong?" she asked, instantly awake.

"Xander's upstairs."

"Huh?  Why's he here?"

"Don't know, love.  Best I go find out though."

He rapidly pulled on his jeans as Xander's voice called out for him
again.  "Spike, you here?"

Climbing rapidly up his ladder he paused a second to give a casual
air as he exited to the upper room.  "Yeah, yeah, I'm here.  Why're
you?"

"You just getting up?"  At Spike's look, he shook his head as if
irritated with himself.  "I'm looking for Buffy."

"Haven't seen her," Spike answered nonchalantly.  Walking over to his
chair he picked up a pack of cigarettes lying on a table and lit one
up.

"And you won't.  She's invisible."

"Invisible?" he asked blowing out a stream of smoke.  "How'd that
happen?"

"Willow thinks magic of some kind.  That's not important.  What is
important is her life may be in danger."

Spike froze with the cigarette halfway to his mouth.  "What'd'ya
mean?"

"The spell or whatever caused the invisibility hit a traffic cone
too.  Willow was using it to study and now it's starting to come
apart, dissolve.  Willow says that it's breaking down on a molecular
level.  We're afraid the same thing is going to happen to Buffy." 

Spike looked at Xander in dawning horror.  "Does Willow know how to
stop it?"

Xander shook his head.  "Not yet, but we really need to warn Buffy,
get her back to Will so that she can at least try to stop whatever's
happening from happening."

"Right.  Look, you go on, keep looking for her.  I'll scout around as
best I can, try to sniff her out."

Xander made a slight face at the idea of Spike sniffing out Buffy,
but he hoped that in this case the vampire was successful.  Nodding,
he left the crypt to continue his search.

Spike turned to go back down to his bedchamber when Buffy, wrapped in
a sheet, stepped into the room.

"You hear, love?" Spike asked going up to Buffy and pulling her into
his arms.

He felt her head nod against his chest.  "Yeah, I heard.  I guess I'd
better get back to The Magic Box."  Pulling away from Spike she
headed back towards the ladder.  "I need to find my clothes."

"I'll help you."

Within minutes Buffy was dressed and ready to leave. 

"Look," Spike said, "I'll give it a bit, say thirty minutes - make it
look like I was hunting for you - then I'll come to the shop."

"Okay." 

Buffy tried to hide it, but Spike could hear the fear in her voice. 
Without hesitation he went to her and pulled her back into his arms. 
Their commingled scents drew him like a beacon and he could have
found her in a crowd of thousands. 

"Don't worry, Buffy, Willow will figure it out.  You know our Red,
she's always our ace-in-the-hole."

Buffy allowed him to hold her for a few moments longer, then pulling
back she slipped from his arms and left.

When Spike arrived at The Magic Box, Anya and Dawn were the only ones
there.  "Where's everyone else?  Did Buffy show up yet?"

"Yes, she arrived about twenty minutes ago.  Then Xander called and
said that something weird was going on at the arcade.  It looked like
more invisible people, so Willow, Tara and Buffy went there."

Spike growled in impatience.  The arcade was one of the few buildings
in downtown Sunnydale that had no direct sewer access and it was
still too sunny for him to go outside.  He felt like cursing or
breaking something, but one look at Dawn's frightened face and he
brought himself back under control.  No sense adding to the Bit's
worries.  Going over to where the girl sat at the counter, he took a
seat beside her and said, "Don't worry, Niblet.  Willow'll fix her."

Dawn gave him a watery smile and then leaned her head on his
shoulder.  Spike closed his eyes as he felt himself melt into a pile
of goo.  Damned Summers women.

A half-hour later the entire gang, including a now visible Buffy,
trouped into The Magic Box.  Dawn squealed in delight and jumping
from her seat, ran to Buffy and gave her a huge hug.

"Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, Dawnie, everything's fine."

"Did you discover the spell that caused her invisibility, Willow?"
Anya asked.

"It wasn't a spell, per se," Willow answered.  "It was three goofy
guys."

"You remember Jonathan Levinson from high school, Ahn?" Xander asked,
walking over to give Anya a quick kiss. 

"The little man from the prom with the toy umbrella for Buffy?"

"Yep.  He and the guy that made the sexbot and Tucker Wells' brother
made an invisibility ray.  They claimed that they hit Buffy with it
by accident.  Oh, and get this, they were using the diamond that was
stolen from the museum in their ray gun."

Spike hunkered in on himself when Xander mentioned the sexbot.  He
hoped no one brought up the Buffybot, but from the glare that Buffy
threw at him he was aware that she had thought of it right away. 
Well that was water under the bridge.  He certainly would never again
need a Buffy simulacrum now that he finally had the real thing.

As the conversation flowed around him, Spike looked his fill at
Buffy.  He liked the new highlights and couldn't wait to run his
hands through her hair and watch the light play on it.  He was having
visions of rubbing his face in her hair when Dawn punched him on the
arm.

"Hey, Earth to Spike."

"Ow!  What the hell'd you punch me for, Niblet?

"Jeez, Spike, stop daydreaming and pay attention to the
conversation.  Buffy asked if you wanted to help her break into the
museum and return the diamond tonight."

"Oh, yeah, sure, Slayer."

Everyone was staring at him except Buffy who wasn't looking at him at
all.  In an attempt to regain his aura of cool he stood up and
started to walk towards the basement door.  "You come by and pick me
up when you're ready for your caper, Slayer."  Opening the door he
disappeared down the stairs stopping only long enough to swipe some
burba weed.

He changed the sheets on the bed wanting everything to be nice and
fresh for later and took a shower.  He wondered if Buffy would agree
to a quick tumble before they went to the museum or if she'd insist
that they wait until after patrol.  Spike hoped she'd go for both the
quick tumble and the after patrol take-your-time shag.

When she finally showed up, she simply stood in the doorway and
said, "Come on."  He watched, disappointed, as she walked away.  She
could at least have given him a bit of a snog.  Catching up to her,
he reached out to take her hand and pulled her to a halt.

"Wait up a minute, love.  Don't I even get a kiss hello?"

Buffy's hand was lax in his and she sighed as she looked down at the
ground.  "Spike, let's not have this conversation, okay?

Spike stiffened at her words. 

"What conversation?"

"The one where you think we're a couple and I tell you we're not."

He was silent for a minute.  "So this afternoon was what?  Another
mistake?"

"A one-time thing."

"Is that right?"

"Yes."  Turning to finally look at him she tried to make him
understand.  "Look, Spike, I admit we had all this unresolved sexual
tension between us.  Now we don't."

Spike could only stare at her in disbelief.  "You think what happened
between us this afternoon, what we shared, was a one-off?"

"Spike, please don't do this."

"So you're telling me you don't have feelings for me?  That making
love with me meant nothing?  That you were just getting your itch
scratched?"

Buffy frowned at his words.  "If you must put it so crudely, we both
got our itches scratched.  Why do you have to keep pushing it,
Spike?  Can't we just go back to the way things were before?"

"When before, Buffy?" he asked with anger in his voice.  "When we
were trying to kill each other?  Or how about when I would only help
if you paid me?  Or wait, I know, how about when I just followed at
your heels like a good dog?"  Spike made a mocking thoughtful
face.  "Yeah, that's the one.  Let's go back to that."

"Damnit, Spike..."

He didn't give her a chance to finish her sentence.  Stepping up to
her he cupped her face in his hands.  "We can't go back, Buffy, and
you know it.  Do you really want to?"

Buffy looked into his eyes gone incredibly soft, felt the gentleness
of his hand touching her face and shivered as the heat rose in her.
She'd spent the last couple hours convincing herself that having
given into her raging need she was satisfied.  After all, she'd been
alone since Riley left and she'd been fine.  But she could no longer
deny that no matter how hard she'd fought against it, over the past
several months her feelings about Spike had changed.  She'd been
miserable these last weeks apart from him and knew that what they'd
shared that afternoon had been more intense, more satisfying, then
she could ever have imagined.  And despite her best intentions, she
could feel desire for him growing again. 

But in the end it all came down to one thing.

"Spike, I've told you we can't be together.  It's wrong."

"Why, Buffy?  How is our being together wrong?  Who does it hurt?"

"Spike, please," she whispered.

Spike moved his hands around to the back of her head and pulled her
forward until their foreheads touched.  "Buffy, I want to make love
to you again."  Drawing back, he brushed her hair from her face and
looked deeply into her somber eyes.  "I want to see the look on this
beautiful face when I'm inside you making you feel everything you
felt this afternoon.  Don't push me away, love, please."

Buffy started trembling under the onslaught of his words and his
gentle touches and when he lowered his mouth to hers, she didn't
fight him.  The kiss was sweet and wild and soon they were wrapped in
each other's arms.  When it ended they remained entwined together
with Buffy's head on his shoulder, his head resting on top of hers.

"See, love?  You want me too."

She pulled away and tried again to make him understand.  "But don't
*you* see, Spike?  It doesn't matter how much I want you physically. 
I don't love you so being with you like this, using you just for sex,
would be wrong."

Spike tried to ignore the white-hot flash of pain that raced though
him at her words, but he wasn't going to give up yet.  "Answer these
questions, Buffy, and be honest.  This past summer we spent
patrolling together and being in each other's company, did you enjoy
it at all?  Did you ever have fun just being with me?"

"Sometimes," she muttered unwillingly.

"And when you brought your mum and little sis to me to protect from
Glory and her minions and when you came to me for help getting Dawn
out of Sunnydale and away from the hell bitch, did you trust me then?"

Buffy swallowed and silently, reluctantly, nodded, eyes fixed on the
ground.

"You say you don't love me, and maybe you don't, but tell me the
truth, Buffy.  Do you care for me at all?"

Buffy thought about lying to him, denying any feelings for him, but
she'd finally stopped lying to herself about it and just couldn't lie
to him. 

Raising her eyes to him she answered quietly, "You know I do."

"Then don't you see, love?" he insisted once again cupping her face
gently, "you enjoy being with me, you trust me, and you do care about
me.  You wouldn't just be using me." 

Buffy pulled away from him.  "Damnit, Spike, even if all that's true,
this can only lead to badness.  You know that."

"I don't know that and neither do you, Buffy.  Give it a chance,
love.  Let yourself be happy." 

"And will I be?  Will I be happy with you?  You're a demon, Spike. 
You don't have a soul.  What happens when your very nature makes you
do something I can't let pass?"

"I know what I am, love.  And I don't deny that there's a demon in me
screamin' out for blood and carnage.  But I swear to you I'm more
than that.  You're my soul, Buffy.  Guide me and I'll do whatever you
want.  Trust me and I promise I'll be the man you need, the man you
deserve." 

"But I don't want to be your soul, Spike," Buffy confessed shakily. 
"I don't want that responsibility.  There are times I can barely
guide myself.  I make mistakes all the time.  What if something bad
happens because I make a mistake?  Or because you don't know the
difference between right and wrong, someone gets hurt or worse?  And
because I'm all wrapped up in being your girlfriend, I don't do my
job as Slayer.  I can't take that chance, Spike.  I can't be your
conscious.

"You're the best person I've ever known, Buffy," Spike insisted, "and
I've changed just from being around you.  You know I have.  Being
without a soul doesn't mean I don't know the difference between
what's right and wrong.  It just means I didn't care.  Now I do
because it's important to you.  You already are my conscious,
Buffy." 

Buffy stared at him wanting to deny his words.  She walked a few feet
away and stood quietly for a few minutes staring off into the
distance, her arms wrapped tightly around her body.  Spike watched
her, hands clenched, anxious, as he awaited her next words.

Her common sense warred with her emotions.  His slightest touch made
her weak in the knees and awakened in her a longing for what she'd
felt with him that afternoon.  And he was right about one thing.  It
wasn't just a physical connection she'd felt.  But did she dare reach
out and take what he offered?  His love?  His body?  Faith's
philosophy of want, take, have, had never really worked out for Buffy
and god knew how much she wanted this.  Wanted him.  That alone was
enough to scare her off. 

Did she dare take something she so desperately wanted? 

Was it really such a cosmic sin to reach out and try to grasp a
little bit of happiness? 

Did she dare open her heart to another vampire? 

Was it already too late to even ask that question? 

And most importantly, just how much did she, could she, trust him?

Buffy reluctantly came to a decision.  No matter how much she wanted
him, no matter how much he wanted her, regardless of everything he
had just said, regardless of what she felt for him, it all came down
to the fact that in the end it would be wrong.  She was a Slayer. 
She could not be with another vampire.  Especially one without a
soul. 

Ignoring the wrenching pain in her heart, blinking back tears she
refused to allow to fall, she turned to tell him.  He stood with his
body leaning slightly towards her, head slightly tilted to the left
with a hopeful look on his face, his hands clenching and unclenching
in nervous impatience.

She opened up her mouth to tell him no.

"All right, Spike, we can try."  She blinked as she heard the words
come out of her mouth.  He grabbed her crushing her to him, kissing
her deeply until her knees gave way once again.  When he finally
lifted his head she pushed back from him once again, trying to gain
some distance so she could think coherently.  It certainly wasn't
what she had meant to say, but now that she'd said it she wasn't
going to take it back.  There was one thing, however.

"I-I don't want to tell anyone," she said breathlessly.  "About us, I
mean.  At least not yet.  Let's see how this works out, okay?  I
don't think I can handle all the disapproving stares and well-meant
speeches right now."

Spike's hesitation was brief.  The disappointment he felt that she
wanted to keep their relationship a secret was outweighed by his
elation that she was willing to be with him.  "Yeah, all right," he
agreed.  "Probably just as well.  I don't much feel like dodging all
the well-meant stakes Xander would aim at me anyway."

Buffy smiled weakly at his jest.  "Come on.  Let's get this diamond
back where it belongs."

***

"Gentlemen, we have a situation.  Because of your incompetence the
Slayer now knows of our existence."

Warren Meers was sitting in his captain's chair glaring at his two
companions.  At least he was doing his best to glare.  With two
swollen black eyes and a split lip, courtesy of said Slayer, his
glare was more a grimace of pain.

"Hey, it wasn't just our fault," Jonathan protested.  He was sporting
a slight bruise on his left cheek.  "If you hadn't tried to grab the
invisibility ray away from Andrew and me it wouldn't have gone off
prematurely."

Andrew giggled at Jonathan's choice of words, which earned him more
glares from his companions.

"Regardless, the Slayer is now aware of us and this interferes with
our plans.  She needs to be neutralized."

Jonathan frowned at Warren's statement.  "Neutralized how?"

"Well ideally, she should be eliminated from the picture
altogether."  Seeing that Jonathan was going to protest, he quickly
added, "But since that isn't an option at this time, we just need to
make sure that she is too occupied with her duties to interfere with
us.  This is where Andrew comes in." 

Looking at the younger man who was gazing at him adoringly through
his own black eye, Warren continued.  "Andrew, I want you to summon a
series of demons that will wreak havoc in Sunnydale.  She'll be so
busy slaying demons she won't have time to hinder our operation."

"I can do that," Andrew agreed enthusiastically.  Jumping up, he ran
to his own console and pulled out a loose-leaf binder.  Flipping
through the pages, he muttered "No, no, that one's too easy, no,
yes!"  He looked up with a gleam of excitement in his eyes.  "I never
thought I'd summon this one, but it's way cool and it'll keep the
Slayer so busy she won't even have time to pee."

"Excellent.  Summon it.  Once she's busy with the demon, we can begin
the next phase of our plan."  Raising a glass of Mountain Dew he
offered a toast, "Gentlemen, I give you Phase II!"

Andrew and Jonathan raised their glasses. 

"Phase II!"

***

Spike never took his eyes from Buffy's face as he thrust into her. 
Her head was thrown back, her eyes were closed and her lips were
parted as gasps and tiny cries slipped out.  It was the most
breathtaking thing he'd ever seen. 

Her eyelids slid open and she gazed at him with eyes luminescent with
passion.  She was even more beautiful than he imagined.  His hands
were tangled in her hair and he lowered his head to take her mouth. 
He could tell she was on the verge of climax so he picked up the
speed of his thrusts.  His reward was the feel of her nails digging
deeply into the flesh of his back and then the strangling clench of
her pulsing muscles as she fell over the edge.  His own deep groan
and shudder swiftly followed.

After he moved off her, she lay with her head on his chest, their
legs entwined together.  Spike's hand made gentle passes up and down
her arm and he pressed kisses to the top of her head.  "I should get
home," she murmured sleepily.  She felt totally relaxed, boneless. 
She wasn't sure she had the energy to move, let alone get dressed and
walk home.

"Don't leave yet, love, it's still early." 

Buffy looked up at him.  "Dawn..."

"Is safe with the two witches."  Tipping her face up, he kissed her. 
Buffy's arm slid around his neck and Spike rolled back on top of her.

It was many hours later before Buffy left.

Buffy was awakened the next morning by a frantic Dawn shaking her
shoulder and calling her name.

"Buffy, wake up!"

"What?  What is it?"

"There're some strange things flying around outside.  One of them
stung Tara."

"You woke me up because Tara got stung by a bee?"

"Not a bee, Buffy!  Here, look!"  She held out a crumpled paper
towel.  Opening it up she revealed a creature slightly larger than a
bumblebee but humanoid in form.  It also had wings and a sharply
pointed tail.  This specimen was also pretty gruesomely squished.

"What the hell is that thing?" Buffy asked in disgust.  "Is it an
imp?"

"Willow says she doesn't know what it is.  But it stung Tara when she
went out to get the paper and she's really in pain.  Willow doesn't
know what to do to ease it and she's starting to panic."

"Okay, let me get dressed.  Has anyone called Anya to see if she
knows what it is?"

"No, but I'll do it now."  Placing the paper towel on Buffy's
nightstand, she left the room.  Buffy hurriedly began to dress.  She
thought about sending Dawn after Spike, but remembered that when
she'd left last night, Spike had been passed out, lying flat on his
stomach, spread-eagled and nude.  Buffy smiled remembering that she'd
totally exhausted her lover.  She'd have to go get him herself as she
didn't want to take the chance of Dawn getting an eyeful of Spike's
naked butt.  Even if it was an awfully pretty butt.  It took Dawn
yelling up the stairs, "Buffy, Anya and Xander said they'll be here
right away" to bring her out of her reverie and back to reality.

After dressing and a quick trip to the bathroom, Buffy grabbed up the
paper towel holding the creature and ran down the stairs to see Tara
sitting on the couch holding an ice pack to her arm, pale and in
obvious pain.  Willow was fussing over her, but apparently
accomplishing nothing.  A variety of lotions and potions lay on the
coffee table.  Going over to her blonde friend, Buffy knelt down and
asked, "Can I look at it, Tara?"  Tara nodded and removed the ice
pack from her arm.  The area around the sting was swollen and an ugly
mottled purple in color.

"Oh goddess, baby," Willow wailed, "the swelling's even worse."

Turning to her friend she took her by the shoulders and gave her a
little shake.  "Willow, I need you to get on the net and try to
locate any information you can about this thing.  Try that "Demons,
Demons, Demons" web site.  See if it has anything posted about
treatment.  Can you do that for me?"

Taking her tear-filled eyes from her girlfriend, Willow nodded and
hurried to her computer.  Buffy laid the tiny corpse next to the
computer so Willow could use it for reference as she searched the
database.  Returning to Tara she asked gently, "Did you guys try all
the remedies for bee sting?  Meat tenderizer, baking soda,
antiperspirant?"

Tara nodded.  "Plus we tried a spell that works to neutralize almost
all venom-based wounds, including snakebite.  Nothing's worked so
far."

Buffy heard the sound of car doors slamming and glancing out the
window saw Anya and Xander making a dash towards the house waving
their hands around wildly.  Buffy rushed to the door and opened it to
allow them immediate entry. 

"What the hell are those things?" Xander gasped.  "They were dive
bombing us out there and I must have smashed a couple dozen of the
little buggers with the car on the way here."

"We were hoping Anya could tell us."

"I need to get a better look than smashed guts and smeared windows,"
Anya proclaimed.

"We have one here," Dawn offered and led Anya to the table where
Willow was working.  Anya took one look at the body and
frowned.  "This isn't good."

"You know what it is?" Willow exclaimed.  "Do you know how to
counteract the poison?  Tara's in a lot of pain."

Anya glanced into the living room where Tara lay back against the
couch.  The amount of pain she was in was obvious though she remained
stoically quiet.  Motioning everyone further away from the living
room, Anya said softly, "There isn't any way to counteract the
poison, at least not directly."

"What?" Willow cried out.

"Quiet, Willow, there's no need to upset her anymore than she already
is," Anya snapped, her manner unusually brusque.  "These creatures
are called The Swarm.  I've only seen them once before, during the
Middle Ages.  There was an outbreak in a small village in the
Schwarzwald - the Black Forest.  The villagers burned a woman at the
stake claiming that she was a witch and ran her two young daughters
out of the village to survive as best they could in the forest.  An
old crone who lived deep in the forest and actually was a witch
rescued the two girls and brought them up.  When the girls were old
enough they got their vengeance by summoning The Swarm to prey on the
village."

"So what happened?" Dawn asked fascinated by the tale.  "How did the
villagers get rid of The Swarm?"

"A small group of villagers traveled to Rome despite all the pain
they were in and pleaded for help saying they were beset by demons,
which they were. The Pope sent a group of church knights who
eventually found The Host and killed it.  Once it was killed, The
Swarm disappeared along with the pain.  See the pain is tied
mystically to The Host; it feeds off its victim's pain.  And until
it's dead, the pain never stops."

"Well then, I just find this Host, kill it and that's that.  Where
can I find this thing?"

"It hides in dark underground places.  It took the knights over two
years to finally locate it and it was just pure luck they did."

"Tara can't be in pain for two years," Willow exclaimed.

"And she won't be," Buffy said, a steel edge in her voice.  "There
must be a better way to locate this Host thingy than relying on luck."

Anya shrugged.  "Willow could cast a location spell.  All we need is
to capture one of The Swarm alive, extract some of its venom, add a
few herbs I have at the shop, drop the solution onto a map and follow
the trail.  If the stupid Church Knights hadn't been so anti-magic
they could have found The Host two hours after arriving at the
village."

"Fine, we go to The Magic Box.  Once we get the location, I go kill
The Host."

"I know you're the Slayer, Buffy, but I don't think you should go
alone.  The Host is big and strong and it's not going to be easy to
kill."

"Fine.  I'll stop by Spike's crypt and have him come with me."

"Spike may not be the best one to help you with this, Buffy."

"Why?"

"Well to keep you from getting stung several hundred times you can
wear armor like the knights did or I can make a repellent."

"And I suppose the repellent smells repellent?"

"The main ingredient is garlic juice."

"Spike is so not going to like that," Dawn said, stating the obvious.

"He'll just have to suffer through.  Garlic will make him nauseous
but it won't hurt him.  He can just not breathe for a while.  Come
on, everyone, let's go.  The sooner I find and kill this thing, the
better."

As they grabbed up blankets to protect them from The Swarm, Dawn
asked Anya, "What happened to the two girls that summoned The Swarm?"

"Oh, D'Hoffryn offered them jobs.  They're two of his top Vengeance
Demons."

"Figures," Buffy muttered as they ran from the house and piled into
Xander's car.

***

The three boys could hear Warren's mother weeping from the pain of
her sting.  She had gone out early that morning for her health walk
and gotten stung by one of The Swarm.

"Shouldn't we being doing something to help your mom, Warren?"
Jonathan asked.  The sound of her crying was really bothering him. 
He hadn't expected anyone they knew to get hurt by the demon Andrew
had summoned to occupy the Slayer.

Warren shrugged disinterestedly.  "Andrew said the pain won't kill
her.  If it gets too much for her she can go to the hospital."

"You're willing to just let your mother suffer like that?"

"Don't worry about it, shortstack.  Let's just concentrate on getting
the cerebral dampener operational.  Once it's ready, gentlemen, the
women of Sunnydale will belong to us."

Andrew and Jonathan looked at each other and giggled.

***

"Spike, wake up!"

Spike stirred in his bed.  Taking in a breath to speak, he gagged and
rolled off the far side of the bed.  Backing up until he hit the wall
he looked in horror at Buffy who stood several feet away.

"God, Slayer, what're trying to do, kill me?"

"Don't be such a baby, Spike.  It won't kill you.  It's just a
repellent."

Spike stilled and stared at her, hurt showing in his eyes.  "You're
wearing a repellent against me?"

Buffy blinked and then cursed her stupidity.  Shaking her head
vigorously she started to walk towards him but stopped when he tried
to press even further against the wall.  "No, Spike, no.  This isn't
about you.  It's a repellent to keep The Swarm away."

"The Swarm?  What the bloody hell's The Swarm?"

Backing as far away from him as she could she explained the
situation.  As he listened, Spike looked around until he located the
clothes he'd discarded the night before.  Being careful not to
breathe, he dressed himself.  Taking a quick breath, he asked, "And
garlic was the only thing Anya could come up with to keep the nasties
away?"

"Afraid so.  I know it's hard on you, Spike, but I really need your
help to kill this thing.  If you don't breathe you'll be okay, won't
you?"

"Don't breathe, I can't talk."

"I know.  If you don't want to help me..."

"Didn't say that.  Just won't be able to carry on a conversation. 
And I won't wear any of that juice myself.  I'd rather put up with
the pain of the stings."

Buffy frowned.  "If Tara's any indication, they're really, really
painful, Spike."

"I can handle a lot more pain than the little witch," he answered.  
"Show me where we're going." 

Buffy pointed out the glowing spot on the map.  Indicating he wanted
her to wait, Spike went to his upper level to retrieve weapons and
was soon ready to go.  Silently, they headed for the tunnels.

The Host was as big and mean and tough to kill as Anya had
indicated.  It didn't help that The Swarm attacked them ferociously;
not even the repellent kept them from stinging Buffy.  By the time
they had finally hacked The Host to death, Buffy and Spike were
covered in agonizing stings.  The relief they felt when the thing
finally died left them giddy.  They slumped to the ground to rest and
regain their strength.

Sitting as far away from Buffy as he could get, Spike lit up a smoke
and then said, "You realize I'm not taking you to bed again until
that juice is out of your pores, don't you?"

Buffy made a little pouty face.  "I thought you loved me no matter
what."

"Yeah, I do.  But I'm still staying away from you until you stop
stinking."

Buffy grinned mischievously.  "Too bad I didn't know about this when
you were trying to kill me."

"Oh, I'd have still tried to kill you, Slayer.  It just wouldn't have
been as much fun," Spike smirked.

Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.

He laughed.

***

When Warren's mother suddenly stopped crying, Jonathan went up to
check, concerned that something bad had happened to her.  Coming back
down the stairs he announced, "She says the pain stopped.  The
swelling's almost all gone too."

Warren glared at Andrew.  "I thought you said it would take the
Slayer weeks to locate that demon and kill it."

"Well it took the Church Knights two years.  I figured it would take
the Slayer at least a couple weeks," Andrew whined.

"Well find another demon to summon, numbnuts," Warren ordered.  "And
this time don't make it one so easy for her to get rid of.  The
cerebral dampener will be ready soon.  And unless you want to die a
virgin, she must not be allowed to interfere with our plans."

Swallowing nervously, Andrew retrieved his handbook of demons.