Where The Heart Is 2

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A few days later, Buffy sat at the table at the Magic Box. Anya was helping some customers and Xander was sitting across from her. He was talking about something but Buffy wasn't really listening. She was too lost in her own thoughts about Spike.

"So, what do you think I should do?" Xander asked her.

Buffy turned and looked at him blankly.

"Huh?"

"I asked, what should I do?" He said giving her a weird look.

"About what?"

"Were you even listening? I don't know what to do for our anniversary. Anya is expecting some sort of special thing for the anniversary of when we started dating. I need a woman's opinion." Xander explained again, agitated that she wasn't paying attention to him.

"Oh. Well, take her to dinner or something." Buffy offered disinterestedly.

"Dinner? That's special? I mean, we go to dinner all the time."

"Look, I don't know. I'm not really in romantic mode right now." Buffy told him a little more harshly than she intended.

"What is your problem Buffy?"

"Nothing." She said defensively. Then she felt bad. She touched Xander's arm. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just, I have a lot on my mind right now. Why don't you take her away for the weekend or something? That's romantic and special." She offered.

"Yeah. That's an idea. Get away from the Hellmouth for awhile." He said thoughtfully.

Just then, a well dressed, young man walked up to the counter. Anya looked at him appreciatively.

"Can I help you?" She asked, looking into his deep blue eyes.

"Yes. I'm looking for a book on Ancient Folklore." He said with a smile.

"Oh. Well, we have several." She said, becoming flustered at how attractive this man was.

It wasn't like her to even notice other men, but something about this man struck her. She led him over to the literature section of the store. Xander looked over when he heard Anya giggling. He saw her touch the man's arm and throw her head back in flirtatious laughter.

He looked at Buffy.

"I wonder what's so funny?" He said, feeling the jealously rising in his stomach.

"Maybe he told her a joke or something." Buffy shrugged.

Xander just continued to stare after them, uncomfortable with how enamored Anya seemed with this strange man.

Anya walked back up to the counter with several books in her hands. She looked at the handsome customer.

"So, you want all of these books? That could be pretty expensive. Not that I'm discouraging you. The more money you spend the better. Money is good." She said flustered.

He laughed at her and shook his head.

"You're a strange girl." He laughed.

She looked at him embarrassed.

"I like that in a woman." He smiled, noticing her embarrassment.

"You do?"

"Well yeah. It's refreshing. And you're right. Money is good. That's why I have a lot of it." He said flashing her a winning smile.

She melted instantly.

"You have a lot of money?" She asked swallowing hard.

"My parents own a large financial corporation. I'm training to take over for my father one day." He explained. "My name is Joshua." He said offering his hand.

Anya reached out and shook it lightly.

"I'm Anya."

"What a pretty name." He smiled. "I know we've just met, but I have to ask you, are you busy tonight?"

She smiled excitedly, and then suddenly realized that Xander was sitting across the room. She had forgotten all about him for a moment. She instantly felt ashamed of herself. She glanced over and saw that Xander was glaring at them. She looked back at Joshua.

"Um, I'm engaged." She blurted out.

Joshua's smile faded slightly.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that. I was gonna suggest you come out on my yacht for a romantic dinner." He said, giving her a suggestive look.

Anya gulped.

"You have a yacht?"

"It was a present from my father for my twenty fifth birthday."

She looked over at Xander and managed a small smile to try and put him at ease. He smiled at her, clearly unnerved by the man at the counter. Sweet, sweet Xander… Anya thought to herself. He's really cute and sexy, but poor…Stop thinking like this! She urged herself. You're marrying Xander. You love Xander… But there are other fish in the sea. Fish that have yachts…

She shook her head to dispel the horrible thoughts she was having.

"I'm sorry Joshua. I'm in love with Xander." She said firmly, trying to do the right thing.

"He's a lucky man." He said shaking his head.

"Yes, he is. He's sitting right over there." She said waving to Xander who only nodded his head, clearly uncomfortable.

Xander turned to Buffy.

"Are they flirting? Do you think I should get up and kick this guys ass?"

"No. Just forget it. Look, he's paying. He'll be leaving soon." Buffy said, trying to reassure him.

"Lucky for him. I could take him, right?" Xander asked, trying to beef up his wounded ego.

"You could totally take him." Buffy said patting him on the arm.

Just then Joshua walked over to the table and smiled at Xander.

"So you're the fiancé?" He asked.

"Yeah." Xander said giving him a hard look.

"She's real special. You're lucky. You'd better be real careful someone doesn't snatch her away from you." He said smirking at him, then walking off.

Xander turned to Buffy sharply.

"What the hell was that? Who does that guy think he is?" Xander said irritated.

"Relax, Xander. He's a jerk." Buffy said comfortingly.

"You don't actually think Anya was interested in that guy, do you?" Xander asked uncomfortably.

"Don't be silly. He's not even that cute." Buffy said rolling her eyes. The truth was, he was that cute. Maybe Buffy should go after him? Get her mind of a certain annoying blonde vampire.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm being stupid. Anya loves me." Xander said trying to boost his confidence.

"You two have something special. Don't worry. I'd give anything to be as happy as you guys are." Buffy said thoughtfully.

Xander saw her wistful expression and patted her on the arm.

"You'll find someone again." Xander reassured her.

"I hope. I just wish love wasn't always so complicated." She sighed.

"It doesn't have to be. I mean, sometimes it just happens. That's how it was for me and Anya. I mean, we were so totally wrong for each other. She used to be a demon, for God's sake. But nothing can stop true love. You have to believe that." Xander said, patting her on the back.

Buffy looked at him and smiled. If only he knew who she was pining away for, he'd probably be less than encouraging.

"So you don't think it really matters if two people are seemingly wrong for each other? If they love each other, that's enough?" She asked, feeling out the situation.

"Sure. Love is blind, or so they say." He shrugged, and glanced over at Anya who was busy with another customer. Relieved it was a female customer, he turned back to Buffy.

"Love is blind." She repeated, lost in thought.

"Look Buff, when you meet that special guy, you'll just know. It'll hit you like a ton of bricks. No one will be able to stop it." He said with a smile.

"Thanks Xander. You have no idea how much you've helped me." She said.

Inadvertently, he had given her the courage to tell Spike her feelings. He was right. When it's love, it doesn't matter how wrong you are for each other. She had something special under her nose and she was tired of ignoring it. She was so afraid that being in love with Spike would be painful. But she found loving him and not being with him, was more painful.

Still, it was easier said than done. What if he rejected her? What if Dawn was wrong about him still loving her? It was all so complicated. Maybe she shouldn't tell him after all?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next night, everyone was at the Bronze hanging out. Willow and Tara were dancing and Xander and Anya were sitting with Buffy talking. Spike walked into the crowded bar and scanned the crowd. He wasn't sure what he was gonna do. He was looking for Buffy, but was almost afraid of finding her.

He had finally gotten the courage to tell her how he felt again, but still wasn't sure it was a good idea. Dawn had been relentless though, urging him along. He took a deep unnecessary breath and saw her sitting with her friends.

"Now or never, mate." He muttered to himself.

He approached the table cautiously.

"Evening all." He said with a smile.

Xander looked at him.

"Oh goody. Spike's here. Now the fun can really begin." He said sarcastically.

Buffy glared at him.

"Be quiet Xander." She said nervously.

She was surprised that Spike had approached their table at all. She was so used to him ignoring her, it was startling. She didn't want Xander to frighten him away.

Spike was un-phased by Xander's remarks. He was used to it. He looked at Buffy.

"Can we talk?" He asked her nervously.

She looked at him surprised.

"You wanna talk to me?"

"Yeah. Can we go outside or something? It's sort of private." He said glancing nervously at Xander and Anya.

Just then, Willow and Tara came bounding up to the table happily holding hands.

"What's up guys? Hey Spike." Willow said, noticing him standing there.

"Spike's trying to get Buffy alone." Xander said, giving him a hard look.

"Why?" Willow asked, looking at Spike.

"My god you people are nosy. I said it was private." He said, rolling his eyes. "Buffy?" He asked looking at her.

The butterflies in her stomach began fluttering nervously. She looked at him and suddenly panicked at the thought of being alone with him.

"Whatever you want to say, you can say it to me here." She said crossing her arms.

Damn, she was a pain in the ass! Spike thought.

"I don't think you want me to say this in front of everyone, pet." He said through clenched teeth.

"Why not?"

"Just forget it. I've changed my mind. Obviously Dawn was wrong." He said, turning to walk away frustrated.

Buffy stood to her feet.

"She was wrong about what?" Buffy asked him.

"She said I should find you and tell you how I feel. But clearly, she was mistaken." He said irritated.

"Tell me how you feel?" Buffy gulped.

"Yes."

"How do you feel?" She asked nervously.

Spike looked at her friends, who were waiting expectantly for his answer.

"What does it really matter? Clearly, you hate me still." He said shaking his head.

"I think it's the other way around. You're the one who's been avoiding me." She said crossing her arms.

"I've been avoiding you because it hurts too much to see you. Whenever I see you, all you have for me are bitter words and hatred filled looks. It kills me!" He said angrily.

"I only look at you that way because you hurt me." She said feeling tears run down her face.

"I hurt you?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes. When I came back, all I wanted to do was see you and you refused. Dawn told me you didn't want to see me. Then I confronted you and you said you were over me. How was I supposed to feel?" She asked painfully.

"You were supposed to feel relief." Spike said pointedly.

"Relief?"

Her friends were staring silently, feeling like voyeurs watching a real life soap opera. None of them had been prepared for this little episode of the Buffy and Spike show.

"Yes. You hate me and now I hate you. We're right back where we are supposed to be." He said, running his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"That's what you came here to tell me? That you hate me?" She asked tearfully.

"Maybe."

"Well you could have saved yourself the trouble. I don't care." She said crossing her arms angrily.

"Good. Neither do I!" He shouted.

The whole gang stood watching them with their eyes darting back and forth like a tennis match.

Spike started to walk off, but stopped mid-stride and turned around again.

"On second thought, I do care. Why are you being like this? Why do you hate me so much?" He asked heatedly.

"I don't hate you, you idiot. I love you!" Buffy blurted out. Then she clamped her hand over her mouth, shocked at her blunt admission.

Gasps of surprise and horror were heard from the Scooby gallery. Spike looked at her with shock of his own. Hearing her admit her feelings was more startling than he thought. Especially because he'd been convinced that Dawn had lied to him.

"What?" Spike asked looking at her confused.

"Yeah. What?" Xander chimed in with a startled expression.

"I love you." She said looking at Spike. Then she looked at her friends. "I love Spike. There I said it. Is everyone happy now?" She asked desperately.

"Actually, happy wasn't the word I was looking for. More like horrified." Xander said, shaking his head.

Spike ignored Xander and walked over to Buffy.

"You love me?" He asked softly, looking into her eyes.

"Yes. I don't know why. I mean, you're acting like a big jerk." She said giving him a small smile.

"Oh Buffy. God, I love you." He said, pulling her in for a kiss. This was the happiest night of his life.

They held each other and kissed passionately while the Scoobies looked on uncomfortably.

"Wow. I didn't see that coming." Willow said softly.

"Me neither. This is just disturbing and wrong. Look at them. My god, I think they're gonna do it right here in the bar." Xander said, making a disgusted face at the couple groping each other in front of him.

"Now that might be exciting to watch." Anya said thoughtfully.

Everyone turned to her and looked at her oddly.

"Did I say that out loud?" She asked, looking at everyone sheepishly.

"Yes, An, you did. I can't watch anymore. I think my eyes are bleeding." Xander said looking away from them.

Finally the lovers broke away from each other and looked at everyone with sheepish grins.

"Um, guys, I know this is kind of a shock." Buffy said nervously.

"More like nightmare." Xander said shaking his head.

"You're the one who told me that it didn't matter if someone was all wrong for you. You said that love is blind." Buffy said, bringing up his words to haunt him.

"Well, love may be blind, but it isn't insane. When I said that, I didn't mean you and Spike. There should never be a `you and Spike'." He said uncomfortably.

"Well, there is. So get over it." Buffy said, taking Spike's hand. "Let's dance." She told him with a smile.

"Love to, pet." He said, leading her away from the table.

Everyone else sat numbly around the table and finally Tara spoke up.

"They seem happy. I-I guess you gotta give them that." She said trying to break the tension.

"Yeah, I mean Buffy's been all mopey since she got back. I haven't seen her smile hardly at all. And now? She's all smiley. It's kinda nice." Willow said thoughtfully.

"You actually approve of this, Will?" Xander asked.

"Well, no. I-I mean, I guess not. But really? Where's the harm? Love is a good thing." Willow stammered.

"Love makes the world go round." Tara offered with a smile.

"All you need is love." Anya said nodding her head.

"Okay, okay. Stop. You guys are making me sick with the love quotes." He said cringing.

"Love is a many splendored thing." Willow added with a giggle.

Xander glared at her and she stopped smiling.

"Sorry. I'll stop." She said sheepishly.

"I'm going to the ladies room." Anya said excusing herself from this uncomfortable situation.

On her way back from the restroom she spied Joshua at the bar. Anya felt her heart leap into her throat. She couldn't believe he was here. She decided it was best to just ignore him. She tried to slip past undetected, but he saw her. His eyes lit up.

"Anya?" He called after her.

She turned around and smiled.

"Joshua."

"Wow. What a surprise." He said with a smile.

"It's really the only place to go in town, so it's not really that surprising." She said matter of factly.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.

Anya smiled and shrugged.

"Alright." Just one drink wouldn't be a big deal. He knew she was engaged, so it was okay, right?

Xander sat staring at Buffy and Spike who were dancing closely and appeared to be deep in conversation. He wished he could hear what they were saying. But on second thought, if they were talking about something mushy, he'd rather not know.

Just then, his eyes wandered over to the bar where he saw Anya sitting with Joshua. His eyes grew wide and his anger mounted.

"I don't believe it." He said bitterly, shaking his head.

"What? What's wrong?" Willow asked, trying to see what he was seeing.

"That guy with Anya. He came into the shop the other day. Look at her. She's sitting with him." He said incredulously.

Willow noticed Anya's laughter and recognized her flirty behavior. Her blood boiled a little bit for the way she was hurting Xander.

"Maybe he's telling her a funny story?" Tara offered uncomfortably.

"I'm the only one allowed to tell her funny stories. This has gotta stop." He said getting to his feet.

Just as he rose, he saw Joshua lean over and kiss Anya on the cheek. She made no move to stop him, and only smiled at him. Xander felt his heart break and jealousy overcome him.

"I'm gonna kill that guy." He said angrily as he marched over towards them.

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