Where The Heart Is 3
Willow and Tara quickly followed him, eager to stop Xander from doing something he'd regret.
"Get your hands off of my fiancée!" Xander shouted, yanking Joshua by the arm.
"Xander stop! It's not what it looks like." Anya protested.
"He didn't just kiss you?" He spat angrily.
"Okay, so it is what it looks like. But I can explain." Anya said desperately, knowing she really couldn't explain.
"Calm down, Xander." Willow said, tugging on his arm.
Just then, Buffy and Spike noticed the melee at the bar.
"What's going on there?" Spike asked.
"Oh crap. It's that guy from the magic store." Buffy muttered noticing Joshua.
"What?"
"We should get over there. There could be trouble." She said taking his hand and leading him over to the bar.
Xander whirled around and looked at Willow.
"Calm down? This guy was kissing Anya and I'm supposed to calm down?" Xander shouted angrily.
"I'm sorry Xander. It was an accident." Anya said sadly.
"An accident? His lips accidentally crashed into your face?"
"Look man, maybe you just aren't giving her what she needs? Why else would she be sitting here with me?" Joshua smirked satisfactorily.
"That's it. I'm gonna kill you!" Xander said attempting to throw a punch, but Willow grabbed his arm.
"Don't. You'll regret it."
"Yeah Xander, he's not worth it." Buffy chimed in as she joined them.
"Are all of you insane?" Xander said irritated. Then he turned to Anya. "What's going on? Do you not love me anymore?" He asked her.
"Xander, of course I do. I-I don't know why I let him kiss me. I guess I'm just nervous." She said sadly.
"Nervous? About what?"
"About getting married. What if we aren't right for each other? Maybe I just wanted to see what it would be like with someone else." She admitted shamefully.
Xander felt as if she ripped his heart out and stomped on it. He pushed away his hurt and focused on the anger.
"Fine. Maybe I'll do the same thing. Maybe I'll kiss someone else too. See how you like it." He said angrily, looking around the room for a suitable girl to kiss.
His eyes focused on Tara standing to the side trying to avoid the whole situation. He smiled and marched over to her. He grabbed her into his arms and kissed her full on the mouth.
Tara let out a feeble squeak as she was startled beyond words. Willow's eyes went wide and her mouth fell open from shock, as did everyone else's. Spike started chuckling and Buffy smacked his arm.
Xander pulled away and looked at Anya satisfied with himself. Tara only stood there with her mouth slightly open and a lusty look in her eyes. She'd never been kissed quite like that before. She was tingling all over, and not just from shock.
"There. I feel better now." He said bitterly as he walked out of the bar leaving everyone in stunned silence.
Anya started to cry and ran off. Willow looked at Tara who hadn't yet recovered from Xander's powerful liplock.
"Okay. This night keeps getting weirder." Willow muttered.
Buffy turned to Spike.
"You should go after Xander." She told him.
"What? Why me? He hates me." He protested.
"But you're the only guy here. I think he needs a man to talk to." She explained.
"But I don't like him." Spike groaning.
"Go. For me?" She added with a small smile.
"But I thought we were gonna go to your place and, well, you know?" He said with a knowing grin.
"We will. Later." She assured him as she shoved him off towards the door.
He reluctantly walked away. He was so in awe of this entire evening that he couldn't think straight. Buffy and he were together. She loved him. Everything was right with the world. And Xander had to muck it up with his problems. Spike sighed and hoped he could find him quickly and get back to Buffy.
He was so ready to shag her until she couldn't see straight, he was afraid he'd burst. He wished he didn't feel the need to be all noble. He could just tell her he couldn't find Xander, and then go rip her clothes off. He sighed again. She'd be pissed if she found out, and he wanted to make sure he had more than one chance at sleeping with her. He set off to find Xander with another annoyed sigh.
Buffy turned to Willow and Tara.
"I'll go find Anya." Then she turned to Joshua. "And you. Get lost." She said angrily.
He smirked and got up from the bar. He walked out to the dance floor and disappeared into the crowd.
Willow looked at Tara who still hadn't said a word.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked.
"What?" Tara asked absently.
"Are you okay?" Willow repeated.
"Um, yeah. Totally. Just a little, thrown is all." Tara said nervously.
"I can't believe he kissed you." Willow said shaking her head.
"I know. I mean, wow." Tara said in a far away voice.
Willow looked at her curiously.
"Wow, as in `wow, that was icky' or `wow, that was good'?" Willow asked nervously.
Tara shook her head and laughed a little too loudly.
"Of course it was icky. I-I mean, it was Xander. W-we aren't supposed to kiss." She said quickly.
Willow's expression fell.
"You liked it, didn't you?" She asked softly.
Tara bit her lip and looked down at her feet.
"Maybe just a little." She admitted shamefully.
Willow sighed.
"He is a good kisser, isn't he?" She asked with a small smile.
Tara let out a sigh of relief.
"Yes. My god. Now I know why you used to be in love with him." She admitted.
"Yeah. Used to, being the operative words. I don't have to be jealous or anything do I?" Willow asked her.
"Of course not. I mean, hello? Lesbian." Tara said with a comforting smile.
Willow kissed her forehead.
"Why don't we go home and see if I can make you forget all about Xander and his magical lips." Willow whispered into her ear suggestively.
"I prefer your magical lips anyway." Tara said with a smile.
They grabbed each others hands and headed out of the club quickly.
Buffy found Anya crying in the ladies room. She went over and joined her on the couch that was in corner of the room.
"Anya? Are you okay?" She asked.
"No. I made a huge mistake. Now Xander hates me. I was so stupid." She cried.
"Do you love him?"
"Xander? Yes. I love him more than anything in the world. I just got scared. And Joshua was so sweet and did I mention rich?" Anya said looking up at her.
"Well just because Xander isn't rich shouldn't make a difference. If you love him, you better fix this." Buffy told her patting her on the back.
"But how? He probably won't ever speak to me again." Anya whined as she buried her head in Buffy's shoulder.
"Find him. Don't make the same mistake I almost made. Spike and I were both so stubborn that we almost lost the only chance we had to be together." Buffy explained.
"Yeah?" Anya asked hopefully.
"Yeah. If you love Xander, and I think you do, fight for him. Let him know that you love him." Buffy assured her.
"Okay. Thanks Buffy." Anya said sincerely. "Oh, and you and Spike? I think it's nice." She added with a smile.
"You do?"
"Yes. I mean, you seem to make each other happy. I think someone should be happy." She said with a small smile.
"You'll be happy again too. Just find him." Buffy said, standing up and heading out.
She hoped that Spike had found Xander and would meet her at her house soon. She was anxious to release years of pent up sexual tension. She had been waiting a long time to be with him. Longer than she cared to admit. It was way past time to let it all out.
Spike wandered through the park. He had no idea where Xander would have gone. He figured he should just give up and go. Then he saw him sitting on a bench with his head in his hands. Spike sighed and walked up to him.
"Thought I'd find you here." Spike said casually.
Xander looked up at him.
"You did?"
"Well, no. Not really. I've been wandering this bloody town for an hour looking for you." Spike said irritated.
"Why?"
"Because. Buffy told me to." Spike shrugged.
"Pussy whipped much?" Xander asked sarcastically.
Spike smirked at him and sighed.
"Yup. And thanks to you, I haven't even gotten any yet."
"Are you trying to give me a reason to kill you?" Xander asked, rolling his eyes.
"Look, she sent me after you cause she said you needed a guy to talk to." Spike shrugged.
"Well, did you bring one with you?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"Very funny, mate. Look, it's not like I want to be here. I could care less if you marry Anya or not. In fact, I'd rather be naked with Buffy right now." Spike said honestly.
"Okay, shut up now before I have to rip your tongue out." Xander said cringing.
"Point is, Buffy wanted me to talk some sense into you, so I'm here. Are you feeling all clear headed yet, cause I'd really like to get on with my evening." Spike asked impatiently.
"Boy, you sure are good at giving advice." Xander said sarcastically.
"Look, I'm not a bloody therapist. If you wanna talk, let's talk. If not, then I'm leaving." Spike said rolling his eyes.
Xander looked at him and sighed. He did want to talk, just not to Spike. But he was the only one around so he gave in.
"I just can't believe she's having second thoughts." He admitted finally.
"Well, aren't you?"
"What? No." Xander protested.
"You're not the least bit nervous about getting married? Pledging to spend the rest of your miserable little life with one person?" Spike asked.
"My life isn't miserable." Xander protested, then sighed. "Okay, maybe right now it's miserable, but it wasn't before. And maybe I am a little nervous. But I didn't go out and throw myself at someone else like she did."
"People do stupid things when they're in love. Take me for example." Spike said with a smile.
"I'd rather not think of you at all. Do you have any idea how much it hurt me to see her with that jerk?" Xander asked desperately.
"Sure I do. I caught Drusilla making out with a Chaos Demon right in front of me." Spike said remembering the cringeworthy scene.
"It sucks, doesn't it? What did you do?" Xander asked.
"Well, I got right pissed about it. Then I demanded to know what the hell she was doing. Then she dumped me." Spike shrugged, knowing it wasn't really a comforting story.
"Great pep talk. So, you think Anya's gonna dump me?"
"Nah. She loves you too much. You just have to make things right again. Don't get all puffed up and macho though. I don't think girls go for the whole demanding that you love them bit. I've tried." Spike said helpfully.
"Thanks for the tip." Xander said sarcastically. "I don't want to demand that she love me, I just want her to do it willingly."
"Go talk to her. Work it out. You'll feel better." Spike said patting him on the back awkwardly. Then he sighed. "So, are we done now? Can I go?" He asked.
"I should keep you here all night. It'd be worth it to keep your undead hands off of Buffy." Xander said raising his eyebrow, still disgusted with the idea of the two of them together.
"You couldn't keep my hands off of Buffy unless you cut them off." Spike said with a smirk.
"Don't tempt me." Xander said with a smirk of his own.
"Look. It'll all work out." Spike said attempting to be nice again.
"Thanks." Xander said sincerely. He was surprised that he actually felt a little better after to talking to him.
"No problem. If you ever need to talk again…" Spike shrugged uncomfortably.
"I'll be sure to find someone else to talk to." Xander added with a joking smile.
"Good. That's what I was gonna say." Spike said quickly.
Spike turned and walked off, heading anxiously for Buffy's house. Years of waiting were finally about to come to an end. He thought he may pass out from anticipation. He just hoped she was already there waiting for him.
Buffy sat in her living room waiting for Spike to show. Thankfully, as luck would have it, Dawn was at a friends house tonight. Buffy figured it must be fate or something. She kept looking at the clock on the wall and getting more nervous.
She was ready for this, right? She loved him, he loved her. There was no bad there. Still, it was Spike. There was the whole vampire/Slayer issue that hadn't changed. She tried to push that thought out of her head and just concentrate on his face in her mind.
His deep blue eyes that looked at her with such love. She hated that they'd even wasted this much time not being together. And for nothing. They'd both been so afraid of getting hurt, that in turn they were both miserable. Tonight, all of that changed.
She heard the knock on the door and suddenly her heart leapt into her throat. Oh my god, this is it… She said to herself. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Anya stood there with tears in her eyes.
"I couldn't find Xander. He wasn't at home." She cried, as she pushed past Buffy and walked into the living room.
Buffy groaned and cursed under her breath.
"Damnit Anya, not now." She muttered.
"What am I going to do? What if he never comes home? This is all my fault." Anya said, throwing herself into Buffy's arms.
Buffy patted her on the back and sighed.
"There, there, Anya. I'm sure he'll come home. Spike went to talk to him." Buffy reassured her.
"Spike? But Xander hates Spike. He won't listen to him." Anya said tearfully.
"I know, but I'm sure at the very least, Spike will send him home. He'd better anyway." Buffy added under her breath.
"What if I can't fix this?" Anya said unhappily.
Buffy started to say something and then the doorbell rang.
"Hang on." Buffy said, going to the door.
She opened it and Spike immediately grabbed her and kissed her forcefully, pinning her up against the door.
"I can't wait to get your clothes off." He said excitedly.
Buffy smiled at him and jerked her head to the side, indicating a crying Anya staring at them. He let go of her.
"Oh. You're here." He said irritated. Then he turned to Buffy. "What's she doing here? I mean, I'm all for a little ménage a trois, but don't you think our first time should be just between us?" He asked with a little smirk.
Buffy groaned.
"Shut up, Spike. You're disgusting. She's not here for a threesome. She can't find Xander. Did you find him?" She asked anxiously.
"Yeah, I uh, talked some sense into him. You really should go home now. He's probably waiting to make up with you." Spike said to Anya quickly.
"You think so? I mean, does he forgive me?" She asked, wiping her eyes.
"Yeah. Sure. Now run along." Spike said trying to shoo her out of the house.
"You're not just trying to get rid of me so you can have sex?" Anya asked tearfully.
"Of course not." Spike said pretending to be offended.
"Look Anya, just go home and wait for him. I'm sure he'll be home soon. We'll talk later." Buffy said, ushering her out the door.
"Okay." Anya said as she walked out the door. Then she turned again. "Are you sure he went home?" She asked.
Spike and Buffy both groaned loudly.
"Yes! Just go. Please?" Buffy said desperately.
"Fine. At least someone will be having sex tonight. I just wish it were me." Anya said sadly, as she walked down the steps.
Buffy shut the door quickly and turned to Spike. He went over to her and took her into his arms. She nudged him away.
"What?" He asked hurt by her actions.
"A threesome?" She asked giving him a hard look.
"Oh, come on. I was kidding. I mean, unless you want to?" He added.
"Okay, not winning me over here." She said rolling her eyes and walking away from him.
"Look Buffy. I'm not serious." He said grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. "You know I only want you. I don't want to share you with anyone. Especially before I even get a turn with you."
"Really?" She asked hopefully.
"Of course. Since when do you ever take anything I say seriously?" He asked.
"When you said that you still loved me." She said quietly.
"Well, I was serious about that part. I do. I never stopped. I'm just sorry that I acted like such a jerk. But that's all behind us now. Let's not talk about it. Let's just stop talking altogether and go upstairs." He said leaning over to kiss her softly.
"Okay." She said looking at him with a sly smile.
She knew she was only stalling because she was nervous. But she wanted to stop being nervous and get on with the good stuff. She took his hand and led him up the stairs wordlessly.
He felt like he was being led straight to heaven. If anyone dared to try and interrupt them now, he might have to kill someone. He wanted this night to go on forever. He'd waited so long, he was afraid he'd be through before they even started. He tried to fix his mind on anything other than the way her ass looked swaying up the stairs in front of him.
She led him into her room and he closed the door behind them. She turned and looked at him. She smiled nervously.
"So, this is my room." She said anxiously.
"Yes, Luv. I've been here before." He smiled.
"Yeah, but not like this. Or for this reason." She said looking away from him nervously.
"Are you scared?" He asked, noticing her demeanor.
She looked up at him and shook her head.
"No. I'm just waiting for you to kiss me." She said with a smile.
"Well, wait no more." He said moving over to her and taking her into his arms.
He covered her mouth with his hungry kisses. His tongue probed her mouth and she let out a stifled moan. It felt so good being with him, she honestly couldn't remember why they had never done this before.
She roughly pulled his jacket off and tossed it aside. He looked at her with his eyes full of lust. Then he captured her mouth again. His hands ran down her body until he reached her breasts. He caressed them roughly through the material of her shirt, and she moaned into his mouth.
She pushed him away from her and he looked at her startled that she broke their connection. She gave him a devious smile and ripped her shirt over her head. He smiled appreciatively and ripped his own shirt over his head.
He kissed her again and let his hand trail down her back and unclasp her bra. He freed her breasts and kissed his way down her neck, running his tongue along the top of her chest, until his mouth reached her nipples. He gently licked around one, while his hand rubbed over the other.
She clutched his head to her chest and ran her fingers through his hair. She felt him suck one of her nipples into his mouth, and she cried out softly. He brought his lips back up to meet hers and crushed his body against hers roughly.
She grabbed his shoulders and whirled him around quickly. She tossed him backwards onto her bed. He looked up and saw the fire in her eyes as she climbed onto the bed with him. His pants felt so tight, it was almost painful. He was almost afraid if she touched him, he'd come.
She crawled across the bed seductively and sat up on her knees in front of him. She ran her fingers over her own naked breasts seductively and he bit his lip to keep from crying out at the sight of her touching herself.
Her hands then ran down to the top of her pants and she began unbuttoning them. She pushed them down and pulled them off. She now sat before him clad only in her black lace panties. He watched as she teased him by starting to take them off, then stopping. He was enjoying her little show immensely.
Finally, he could stand it no more and lunged for her. He flipped her around and pinned her to the bed.
"You're taking an awfully long time with those panties, Luv." He whispered, as he gently bit her earlobe.
"Why don't you do it for me?" She said, kissing him softly.
He smiled and ran his hands down her body until he reached her only garment. He ran his hand over her mound and caressed it through the fabric. He then dipped his head down and kissed her stomach, before making his way down to the edge of her panties.
He looked up at her and saw that her eyes were closed in anticipation. He smiled and let out a playful growl. He bit down on the edge of the fabric. He pulled her panties down slowly with his teeth, letting his chin trail across her soft curls. When he was satisfied they were down far enough, he reached down and pulled them all the way off with his hands.
He then met her mouth once more in a bruising kiss. He whispered into her ear.
"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He told her.
"Oh Spike. I want you so bad." She said, biting her lip.
"I've never wanted anything more than you." He said trailing his kisses down her body once more.
He reached her burning core, and gently pushed her thighs apart. He could see how wet with desire she already was. He looked up at her longingly.
"Do you want this?" He asked, kissing her wetness softly.
The feel of his lips on her heat made her shudder.
"Yes." She cried out, desperate for his touch.
He pushed her thighs further apart and buried his tongue inside of her. She couldn't help but cry out sharply at the sensation. She felt his mouth exploring her most intimate places. His tongue ran over her sensitive nub and she could feel it throbbing against his mouth, begging to be touched.
She grabbed his hair and pressed him into her body. She had never felt so desperate for release before. He sensed her orgasm building already and wanted to be inside of her when she came. But the grip she had on his hair, was making it impossible to stop what he was doing. He gently sucked her into his mouth and felt her body start to shudder.
"Oh god…Oh, Spike." She cried out as she began to spasm around him.
Her entire body was shaking and tingling. She was gasping for air. Finally, she released his hair and he made his way back up to her mouth. He kissed her gently and she opened her eyes to look at him.
"I love you." He whispered softly.
"I love you too." She said, reaching up and kissing him hungrily.
She still wasn't satisfied. She might never be satisfied. She needed to taste him. Feel him inside of her. She grabbed his shoulders and reversed their positions again. She straddled him and began to undo his pants. She pulled the zipper down and freed him. He moaned when he felt her warm hand begin to stroke him.
She smiled at what she was doing to him and went to work removing his pants fully. She removed his shoes and yanked the pants off, throwing them aside. She straddled his knees and began to caress his length again. She looked at him seductively and bent her head down, to take him into her mouth.
He cried out when he felt her mouth engulf him. He could feel her tongue running over him as she sucked him. His eyes rolled back and he felt like he could come at any second. All he could think of was that his cock was in Buffy's mouth. It was too good. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to him.
"Not like that, Buffy. I need to come inside you." He said hotly.
"Oh, Spike. I want you to." She whispered as she kissed his ear.
He grabbed her arms and flipped her over onto her back again. He pushed her legs apart and readied himself for the bliss he knew he was about to enter. She looked at him expectantly, and he slid himself inside of her slowly.
They both moaned at the sensation and he began to thrust into her deep and hard.
"You are so wet. I've never felt anything so good." He murmured into her ear as he continued pounding into her.
All she could manage to do was moan. She'd never felt anything this good before either, but she couldn't find the words to tell him that. She could feel herself verging on the brink of another orgasm already.
He wanted to hold back, but he couldn't. All the years he'd spent waiting for this moment were just too much. He cried out as his body shuddered with release.
"Buffy, oh, Buffy." He said over and over as he came.
She followed right behind him, and her walls tightened around him. She cried out and dug her nails into his back. She was silently glad that no one was home to hear them. She couldn't have been quiet about this if she tried.
He collapsed onto her and they both lay there too exhausted to move. He kissed her shoulder softly and rolled off of her. They both lay on the bed, side by side, staring at the ceiling. Neither one could believe what they had just done. Or how incredibly satisfying it felt to finally have release after waiting for so long. Finally Buffy broke the silence.
"Wow." She said with a smile.
"Oh yeah." He agreed.
"I mean, that was…" She said, in awe of the moment.
"Yeah, it was." He smiled, knowing exactly what she meant without words.
She turned onto her side to face him. She traced her finger across his chest and smiled at him.
"Tell me again why we waited so long for this?" She asked with a grin.
"Don't ask me. You're the one who wouldn't give in." He teased her.
She shoved him playfully.
"I was ready to give in, and then you're the one who said you were over me." She said pointedly.
"Yeah, but that's cause I thought you still hated me." He said defensively.
"True." She said thoughtfully. "We were both really stupid." She laughed, kissing him gently.
"Yeah, we were. But nothing will ever come between us again." He said pulling her close and holding her tight to his chest.
"Nope. Nothing." She smiled happily. Then she looked up at him. "Promise me you'll never leave me."
"I'd never leave you." He reassured her softly.
"Promise?" She asked.
"Promise." He said kissing the top of her head.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As love stories often go, Spike and Buffy had never been happier. As the months went by, they spent just about every moment together. They were always surprised at just how much they couldn't get enough of each other.
Even her friends didn't make a fuss anymore about them. Xander and Anya had worked their differences out thanks to their help and the wedding was still on. It seemed that nothing in the world could possibly go wrong.
Spike should have known that line of thinking was bound to reach back and bite him on the ass. And that's exactly what happened. He had been sitting in bar minding his own business when some loser began to bother him.
Buffy was having a girls night with Willow and Tara, so Spike was on his own. At least until later, when he'd planned to sneak into her room and join her in bed. But now, this creep was ruining his good mood.
"Find somewhere else to sit, you bloody pillock." Spike said irritated at the drunken man.
He was threatening to beat Spike up if he didn't move.
"But that was my seat. I was dancing and now I want it back." The man slurred angrily.
He was obviously so drunk, he didn't care if he was making a scene over a barstool.
"Piss off." Spike said, shaking his head.
He was in no mood to argue with this asshole. He knew he should have just gotten up and moved, but then it would have been like giving in. Spike never gave in. The man grabbed Spike's shoulders and yanked him off the barstool.
He reached back and punched Spike across the face. Spike felt his anger rising and wanted nothing more than to rip this guys throat out. He knew the chip would stop him, but the temptation was there.
He held his hands up to shield himself from the mans forceful blows.
"What is your fucking problem?" Spike shouted as he was being pummeled.
"You stole my seat." The man hissed, as he continued to punch at Spike drunkenly.
A crowd had gathered around them and Spike knew he looked like a weak fool, letting this guy beat up on him. Finally, he just decided it would be worth the searing pain in his head, to save face in front of these strangers.
He reached back and struck a blow across the guys face, whirling him around, and onto the ground. One good punch was all it took for the guy to be knocked out cold. Spike straightened his jacket and waltzed away from the bar. He kicked the man, on his way out.
"Your seat is open now." He said to the unconscious man.
Spike walked out of the bar, satisfied that he'd saved his reputation. It hadn't even dawned on him that he had felt no pain during the fight, or when he kicked the man. Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What the hell?" He asked himself, realization dawning on him.
He thought about running back into the bar, just to make sure the guy was human. But he shook his head and decided against it. He knew for a fact that he was human. He smelled it on him instantly.
"My chip is gone." He muttered to himself.
He wasn't sure whether to jump for joy or cry in despair. This bit of news wasn't likely to go over big with Buffy.
"Damn! Buffy. What am I gonna do?" He said, as he clutched his head in desperation.
He'd been dreaming of this moment for years. He hated that chip and now he was finally free. He was free and he didn't know what to do. His first instinct was to run right out and grab a fresh bite to eat. It had been ages since he'd had any fresh, human blood. Not since Dru had given him that dead girl to drink.
It was so tempting, but a little voice in the back of his mind stopped him. Buffy will kill me…Literally kill me if she finds out. He thought to himself. I can't do it.
He loved her so much that he didn't care about killing or drinking fresh blood anymore. It just wasn't worth it to lose her. No, he wouldn't do it. He would just pretend that nothing had changed. He'd be a good little vampire and Buffy would never have to know that his chip didn't work anymore.
He ran his hands through his hair and sighed loudly.
"Why did this have to happen now?" He muttered unhappily.
Later, after spending the evening wrestling with his conscience for hours, he crept into Buffy's darkened house. He knew that Dawn was asleep, and he didn't want to wake her. He opened Buffy's door slowly, and walked inside, shutting it quietly behind him.
She was asleep and he stood beside the bed looking down at her. She was so peaceful and beautiful. He never knew he could love someone as much as he loved her. He never wanted to lose her for any reason. Certainly not because of this stupid chip. He bent down and kissed the top of her head gently.
She began to stir and opened her eyes. He smiled down at her.
"Hey." She said sleepily.
"Hey." He said quietly, hoping she wouldn't be able to sense that anything was different.
"Are you coming to bed, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me like a freak?" She teased him.
"I love you Buffy. You believe that don't you?" He said suddenly.
She sat up and looked at him concerned. He was acting a little weird.
"Of course I believe that. What's wrong, Spike?" She asked him curiously.
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just want you to know that I love you. No matter what, I'll always love you." He said, sitting down next to her and stroking her hair gently.
"You sound like you're dying or something. What's going on?" She asked, becoming worried.
"I'm not dying. I'm already dead." He said with a smile.
"Then why the dramatics?"
"I just felt like making it clear to you. That's all. Come here." He said, pulling her into his arms tightly.
She couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering him. The way he was holding her, felt so desperate. Like he was clinging on for dear life.
"Spike? Tell me what's wrong." She urged him.
He pulled back and kissed her hard. She struggled to breathe at the force of his kiss, and he pulled away. She looked at him breathlessly.
"I want to make love you." He whispered to her, as he kissed her face gently.
He pulled her close to him again and they fell back onto the bed. He removed her nightgown slowly, kissing his way down her body. She knew something was wrong, but she pushed the thoughts away as his familiar hands caressed her body lovingly.
When he entered her, he cried out softly. It was a cry of passion, but also of fear. Fear that he may never get to be with her again if she knew what he was hiding from her. He made love to her slowly and deliberately, wanting to savor the feel of her heat surrounding him. Never wanting the moment to end.
Afterwards, they lay spent in each others arms. He laid his head down across her naked breasts and she stroked his hair softly.
"You're mine." He said softly.
"You know I am." She responded quietly.
"Promise me nothing will ever change that." He pleaded with her.
"I promise. Spike, tell me what happened tonight." She urged him softly.
"Nothing. I'm just so afraid to lose you. I don't ever want to lose you." He whispered.
"You aren't gonna lose me. You're stuck with me." She reassured him with a smile.
"That's all I need to hear." He said leaning up to kiss her.
They fell asleep as he clutched at her tightly. He was afraid that if he let her go, she'd slip away forever. He'd rather die than let that happen.
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