She was kissing Spike. Buffy repeated it in her head at least three times before it sunk in that she was actually doing it. “Buffy, I love you. God I love you so much.” Buffy leaned forward and pulled him to her for another kiss. Unsure as to why, Spike telling her he loved her didn’t make her want to throw up. This felt right. It felt right and good. Spike ran one of his hands up and down her back, touching the bruise that he had left there when they had fought a little earlier.

This brought her to her senses a little and she pushed him away from her, “What in the hell are you doing Spike?”

The blonde vampire looked a little surprised, “Whatever I’m doing up until about a second ago you were doing it back.”

Buffy couldn’t think of a come back and simply stood there until the man in front of her took a step forward and placed one of his hands on her waist, he looked into her face and spoke quietly to her, “If you tell me to stop I will. I don’t want to even try and force you. So if you want to run and tell me to stop, them you can.”

Buffy froze, it would have been easier to simply run, but now he had given her the option she wasn’t sure she felt like making the decisions. It felt different with Spike. She had thought, not that she had ever thought, but she would have thought that he would have felt a little like Angel, cold and soft and gentle. But he didn’t, he felt good and strong, like he wanted everything from her. Angel hadn’t been allowed to want everything. Buffy ran one of her hands up Spike’s arm towards his face. Her fingers wrapped and twisted the bleached blonde hair around her fingers, which was surprisingly soft. She touched his face and ran her hand over his cheek, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t think straight.”

Spike gave her his trademark smirk, “When you can’t seem to think, the best thing is not to even try.” Quickly but gently he pulled her body flush with his, and giving her plenty of chance to run away he kissed her again. Buffy hesitated for a second, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard and full.

Spike moaned and held her so tightly she couldn’t move as he nibbled at her lips, rubbed her mouth with his tongue. After a few moments, Buffy pulled away slowly. She smiled at Spike slightly and walked towards the door. Spike was surprised and a little hurt. She turned around, “I have to go and check on my mom.” The Slayer smiled, “I’ll be back later, if you not busy?”

Spike smiled back as the Slayer raised her eyebrows, “I could probably fit you in pet.”

Buffy walked out and smiled to herself, she was trying not to think too much or she might talk herself out of something that was feeling real good. Her final thought before she reached her house was that Spike was a better kisser than Riley.

* * *

Her mom was asleep on the sofa and Dawn was upstairs listening to Greenday on her headset. Buffy was tempted to head straight back over to Spike’s crypt. She was kinda sorry that she had left in the first place as it had really killed the moment. Whoa! She was having a moment? She and SPIKE were having a moment. This was freaking her out on a whole new level and for some reason it really did not feel icky. She wanted to go back and finish that kissing session…with Spike. Deciding that she was going to do something for herself for once and trying desperately not to think about Riley and how he would be perfectly right to scream and yell at her along the ‘I told you so’ line, she grabbed her coat from her bedroom. She bounded down the stairs as quickly as she could without making any noise that could disturb her family and pulled open her front door to see Riley stood there his hand raised as though he was about to knock. A fresh stab of guilt clutched Buffy, he had been right. Less than twelve hours after Riley’s ‘superpowers’ had been taken away she had kissed a master vampire. What the hell did that say about her, “Riley? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you still be in the hospital?”

“I just wanted to come and talk to you.”

Buffy could tell that she was looking guilty, “You did? Now?”

Riley frowned slightly, “Well yeah.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just thought that you’d still be getting prodded by needles and having tests and stuff.”

Riley smiled at his girlfriend, “No. I wanted to see you. Can we go up?”

Buffy was almost on autopilot as she led Riley to her room. She kept imagining things going wrong somehow, that he would somehow know instinctively without her saying anything.

It was a few seconds after Riley started speaking that she even realised where she was, “…so I just wanted to apologise again and tell you how sorry I was. They were my issues; they weren’t even really anything to do with you. I was putting them onto you and it was wrong of me.”

Buffy tried to focus on the conversation, “It’s okay Riley. We’ll work it out. Somehow. You just have to understand that I’m with you for a reason, it’s not because you could, you know, leap tall buildings in a single bound.” Buffy was cringing inside as she thought about Spike. Spike! Spike!! Why was she thinking of Spike when she was sat here with her boyfriend. A boyfriend that loved her and made her feel safe and loved.

Riley leaned forward and kissed her gently. She automatically responded. As Riley pulled her towards him she realised that her mind was not where it should be. The way it hadn’t been with Scott. Buffy pulled away from Riley, at the hurt look on his face she quickly tried to cover up her reaction, “Oh…I’m sorry Riley. But you’ve just had a major operation on your heart and I don’t want to do anything that means you wont heal as quickly.”

Buffy smiled at him but he looked upset and angry, “God Buffy! So much for everything you said. That you didn’t want a boyfriend with powers! That me only being a human being didn’t bother you. You are already treating me like a child.” Riley stood up and headed for the door.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Buffy put a hand on his arm. “It doesn’t matter what you are, you wont be in a fit state to get it on less than twelve hours after major heart surgery. It’s not because…”

Riley cut her off by taking her in his arms, “Then prove it to me. We’ll take it slow and careful and you wont hurt me I swear and if you do I’ll tell you and you can stop. Okay?”

Buffy really didn’t feel in the mood but she returned his kiss anyway.

* * *

A couple of hours later Buffy saw Riley to her door with the ex soldier grinning like a Cheshire cat. She had to practically force him out of the door; he didn’t even seem ready to leave then. But Buffy had to get rid of him. Her mother would need her help and she had to go on patrol. Buffy tried to convince herself that she was only going out to patrol. She wasn’t going to see a certain bleach blonde vampire.

* * *

“I always wanted to kill a Slayer.”

Buffy ducked, “And I always wanted piano lessons, so really we’ve both been holding inside all this unexpressed rage.” Buffy was winning and she knew it. She was taking out quite a bit of rage on this particular vamp, while taking her time. She had lost her nerve and she hadn’t gone to see Spike, but she had promised her self that she would go after this one. She punched the huge demon in the face. “But really…” kick, “I think…” punch, “I’m expressing mine better.” Thump. “Tell you what…” arm wrench, “You find yourself a good anger management class and I'll jab this pokey wood stick through you heart.” Buffy dusted her coat as she put her stake back in her pocket. Trying to delay the moment se would have to go and see Spike, “I think that sets the world’s speed record for closure.”

Buffy turned and was ready to leave when someone called out to her, “Miss if you’re looking for one of those rave parties you’re late. I cleared a load of kids out of here last night.”

Buffy quickly fell into her role exchanging some brief banter with the guy and turned to leave as soon as possible.

“Hey miss,” Buffy turned round again, “Take this, whatever it is with you.”

Buffy looked down at the circular glowing object in her hands, “Thank you.”

“Glow-balls huh? I swear I don’t get your generation. What is that thing?”

Buffy turned to leave, “Let you know a soon as I find out.”

* * *

Buffy walked away from the factory district trying to keep her mind on the glowing object. But he mind wasn’t really there. It was in the Shady Cemetary where her feet were currently taking her. Before she even realised where she was she was staring at the door of Spike’s crypt. Knocking on the door for the first time in her life she waited, “Come in…”

Buffy felt her heart in her throat as she opened the door and stepped inside, she shouldn’t be doing this. Just turn around and run. Her feet didn’t want to obey her though. She just looked at him, “Hey.”

He just smiled, “I’ve been waiting for you pet.”

Buffy smiled, “You have?”

Spike moved from where he stood and sat down on the sarcophagus in the centre of the room, “Yeah.”

Buffy didn’t know what to say. She knew what she wanted to do but she wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do exactly. Apart from anything else she felt a little inexperienced next to Spike who had been around for over a hundred years. She was far from a blushing schoolgirl but still. “I don’t really know what to say to you. This is kinda new terrain,” and it really was. Spike didn’t have a soul. He was a demon and yet she had wanted to come here tonight…to him. And he had said hat he loved her.

“What do you want to say Slayer?” Spike found this new expression on her face adorable. She always looked beautiful and he knew it. He might be her enemy and a vampire but he was still a man and not blind. He had tried his best to avoid looking at her like this. She was Slayer number three, not someone to be though of like he was thinking now. He didn’t know what had come over him this morning, he had just felt the nee to kiss her, he had, and she hadn’t even tried to push him off. He stood up and walked over to the tiny mortal who looked up into his face, she was nervous? Spike smiled to himself as he ran one hand down the side of her cheek.

Buffy shivered into his touch as he leaned for and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Why couldn’t she feel like this around Riley, or even Scott? Why with a vampire? Why in God’s name did it have to be with Spike of all vampires? Her body though didn’t seem to give a damn. Buffy pulled her self to him.

Spike frowned, something was wrong. She felt like Buffy and she tasted like Buffy, but she sure as hell didn’t smell like Buffy. She smelled like…oh bugger…she didn’t…she hadn’t…she smelled like soldier boy. Spike pushed himself away from her, fighting for the breath that he didn’t need, he could see from her face that she was confused, but he was too busy trying not to be sick from the idea of the idiot touching her after he had, “Your boy back on his feet is he Slayer?”

Buffy was stunned, how did Spike know about her bo…Riley getting better? He couldn’t know. But if he did and he seemed to did that mean he knew about…? Oh shit shit shit shit shit. She forced her voice not to shake, “He’s getting better.”

Spike growled deep in his throat. “Better enough to spend the entire after noon inside of you? Did you think I wouldn’t know Slayer? He’s all over you. I can smell that idiot from over here!”

Buffy went pale, now she was the one who felt a little queasy. She felt so cheap. She hadn’t thought about that, Spike being able to smell…it. After spending hours with the man she claimed to love she had come back here to the arms of her mortal enemy. She realised that Spike must be feeling it too, cheap like he was being used. For that she did feel guilty even though he didn’t know why. “I…He came to see me just after I got back from here this after noon…and…well…” Buffy was embarrassed, she didn’t know what to say so she tried to cover, “Oh for god’s sake, he’s my boyfriend Spike, he has the right to spend the afternoon with me,” she deliberately stayed away from Spike’s chosen phrase.

Spike was hurt too, he turned his back on Buffy as he tried to reign in his temper before he said something that they would both regret, “So, what Slayer? You just thought you’d come here to see me when Riley couldn’t give you what you needed? Is that it?”

Buffy flushed, “No that’s not it. Look, I’ sorry okay. I really didn’t want to, but I couldn’t just tell him no. He’s already freaking out over this operation leaving him with no superhero strength anymore I just didn’t want to give him an extra reason to feel insecure.”

Spike turned to her, game face on as his temper flared again, “In case you didn’t notice he does have a reason to be insecure, very insecure. His girl is stopping by a vampires lair ready to get it on.”

Buffy looked at him her eyes hardening she was hurt and despite the fact she knew it would be wise to just count to ten but she let it come out anyway, “Did you actually think that I would let you touch me, I mean really touch me? You’re disgusting Spike. You are an evil vampire. When you told me that you loved me what did you think I would say? That I loved you too? That I would just fall into your arms and we’d live happily ever after? Wrong! You’re just a vampire and maybe I felt like coming to see you for a bit of fun, but you are crazy, and I mean more crazy than usual, if you ever thought it could be anymore than that.”

Spike felt his heart break as he looked at her. Se had just voiced his fears and made them real: that she could never see him as anything but a demon, her enemy. “I think that you should just go now then Slayer,” he said quietly.

Buffy regretted her words before they had even finished coming out of her mouth. She shouldn’t have said any of that. God she didn’t even mean it. She shouldn’t have said it. She hadn’t even meant it to come out that strongly, “I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t…” She could swear that she saw tears in his eyes, she felt her stomach clench, had she hurt him that much? Buffy went forward and tried to put a hand on his arm. Spike just moved his hand and took hers. He led her out of the crypt and let go of her. All Buffy could do was look behind her as he closed the door.

* * *

Buffy woke early the next morning. She had wanted to go back in and talk to him but she hadn’t been able to face him after what she had said. She really had been queen bitch. Cordelia would have been proud of her. Buffy flushed a little at that thought. Even Cordelia wouldn’t have been that cruel. And to top it all of her mom was still sick. Buffy dragged her self out of bed. She’d go and do a little cooking see if she could help cheer herself and her mom up.

One look at Buffy told Dawn that something was wrong. She was pretty sure that her sister wasn’t worried about Riley. Contrary to popular belief she did know what went on when Buffy and Riley were ‘training’. “Hey,” said Dawn, “How you doing?”

Buffy took a second to register Dawn’s presence, “Oh hey. Just you know. Usual.”

Dawn looked at her and Buffy flushed guiltily under her sisters gaze, “What’s up? Trouble with Riley?”

Buffy looked at Dawn wondering when her baby sister had gotten so damn observant, “No, I just didn’t sleep well last night. A little groggy today.”

Dawn rolled her eyes, “Fine if you don’t want to talk about it but there is no need to lie to me.”

Buffy smiled, “Since when did you care? You normally cause my bad moods not sympathise with them.”

Dawn smirked, “I’m a female it’s my pergative to change my mind.”

“Prerogative.”

“Whatever. Besides if I’m nice maybe I could go with you to Giles’ today for his grand opening at the magic shop.”

Buffy glared, “All right but I swear if you break anything, touching anything, breath on anything in the wrong way I will kill you. And it’s only to stop you bothering mom while she’s sick.”

Dawn went a little pale, “Can we not talk about that please. It makes me feel sick.”

Buffy put a piece of French toast on as plate as her mother walked into the room looking even paler than Dawn did. “Hey mom, you feeling okay?”

“Oh the headaches they said would go away came back and brought some friends along with.”

Buffy was worried, her mom never got sick. She wanted to fix it somehow, she wasn’t used to not being able to fix things that went wrong. “Well breakfast is served. We have to go to Giles’ shop opening.” Buffy knew that she was going to regret taking Dawn with her but she was way too worried about what she had said to Spike to refuse her sister.

* * *

Dawn had broken something within twenty minutes of them walking through the door. Not only that. The younger Summers had laughed herself silly at Giles’ outfit, okay she herself had too but internally, and then she had offended Riley by saying that he was pasty pale and mentioning a private conversation between Buffy and her mom, when Buffy had said that she had to think of a way of stopping Riley from wanting to patrol anymore. Riley had looked embarrassed, glared at Buffy and then headed for the workout room. Willow telling her to go easy on Dawn had been the last straw. Buffy had left the glowing orb to be examined and left. They were heading home and Dawn was still prattling on about how knocking over the fifty dollar statuette hadn’t been her fault as Buffy had obviously gotten a double dose of reflexes.

* * *

The sight of Joyce Summers obviously with a terrible headache finished off the argument. Leaving her mom in Dawn’s dubious care Buffy was at the hospital collecting pills galore. On her way out Buffy spotted the intern who had looked after Dawn the other day. He was pushing a trolley with a flailing man on it.

“Hey, Ben right?”

The guy looked at her in confusion for a few seconds as though trying to place her, “Oh yeah right. Buffy. You’re mom was in as was your sister Doctor Dawn.”

Buffy smiled a little, “Yeah. That’s right. Just getting a prescription…”

Buffy was cut off as the man on the trolley began to flail wildly and began had to lean on him to get him still, “You’re hurting the nice intern who’s here to help you. I need nine cc’s of Phenobarbital…” Buffy pushed the man down with one hand, “Or not. You know not to be rampantly sexist in the workplace but you’ve got some serious muscles for a girl.”

Buffy flushed, she knew it was stupid of her to show how strong she was really but Ben seemed like a nice guy and the flailing man was being a pain. “Oh…I…uh…”

Ben smiled at her obvious look of embarrassment and threw her a lifeline, “Radioactive spider bite?”

Buffy smiled back, “How did you guess?”

Whatever Ben had been about to say was cut off as the man grabbed Buffy by the wrist, “Doesn’t help; doesn’t make a damn bite of difference. Don’t think you’re above it missy, they come through your family. They get to your family.”

Buffy dropped the pills on the floor as the implication of this statement set in, “My family? What do you mean?” But the man was wheeled away before Buffy could ask any more questions. After exchanging a few pleasantries with Ben Buffy dropped off her mums prescription and headed straight to Spike’s crypt.

* * *

After deliberating for a few seconds Buffy pushed the door open and walked inside. “Spike? Spike? Are you here?”

Spike seemed to melt out of the darkness at the back of the crypt, “Where else would I be Slayer?”

He was dressed as usual, black jeans and t-shirt. For the first time Buffy noticed how incredibly hot he was. Quickly concentrating back on the topic at hand Buffy spoke, “I need your help. I need you to tell me if there’s anything new in town. Anything new? Anything playing with magic?” Spike looked at her but did not speak, “Look Spike I’m sorry about last night I didn’t mean it. I was just mad at you, like I nearly always am. But I need you to tell me if you know anything.” Spike didn’t say anything again. Buffy was starting to get desperate, “Please Spike.”

Spike wanted to help her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he would do anything that she asked if she would just give him a chance. But he didn’t believe that she was really sorry. After what she said, he didn’t believe that she could be sorry for what she had said. He started to believe it when she started to cry.

Buffy was desperate. And she was sorry. Spike had always helped her before when she had come to him. Granted he had sometimes wanted paying but still, he had always been there to help her when she had need him. Why wouldn’t he help her now? But she knew why. She had hurt him. She felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she turned away and headed for the door.

* * *

Spike couldn't just let her leave like that. He walked up behind her quickly. And grabbed her arm. He knew that he should still be mad at her. But he couldn't. He loved her. Idiot that he was. He loved her. She could hurt him and he didn't know if he would ever reach his limit. He knew that she shouldn't really be jealous of Riley. He had seen the way they were together. The Slayer didn't rely on him. She didn't need him, she sometimes barely even noticed if he was around or not, and the boy knew it. Spike had seen it in his eyes. Riley wasn't the guy for the Slayer Spike knew it, Riley knew it. Spike would just have to wait until the Slayer realised it. Spike pulled her body close to him as he buried his face in her hair.

Buffy didn't hesitate when Spike put his arms around her. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her how much he loved her even if she couldn't say it back to him. Buffy breathed in deeply. She loved his scent. Burying her face in his chest she cried softly. Feeling him kiss her on the top of the head, she lifted her head and kissed him. It was her turn to kiss him. To show him that she didn't really think what she had said to him. Buffy rubbed her hands over the blonde vampires chest and shoulders as she kissed him gently. Pushing her tongue past his teeth, he moaned into her mouth.

Spike held onto her and ran his hands up and down her back. After a few seconds he very gently pushed her away from him. Buffy looked confused and hurt. Spike quickly smiled and said, "Maybe you'd better tell me what's wrong pet before we get caught up in other things."

Buffy smiled a little but pushed herself back into his arms as she started talking, "There was a guy at the hospital when I went to get my mom's pills. He seemed a little nuts but, he said that there was something that could get to me through my family. The doctor's don't know what's wrong with my mom and so I thought that maybe it could be supernatural, magic. I wanted to know if you had heard of anything new that's come to Sunnydale. Oh and the night watch man, that was the guy at the hospital, I saw him last night he was absolutely fine, no crazies. But he found this glow ball, he thought that it was mine and I have the guys working on it. Wow I go on don't I?"

Spike smiled, "A bit pet. The only thing I heard happened about two months ago, just about the same time as Dracula. So, even though it was weird I wrote it off as something to do with him. But now.maybe there is something in it. As for the, what did you call it? Glow ball? I've no idea, never heard of anything like it. Does that cover everything?"

Buffy smirked at him, "Everything except details about the weird things."

Spike nodded his head, "Well, the old factory district on the west side had a bit of a disturbance. Apparently, some monks appeared out of nowhere set themselves up there, but within about two days they were gone. No idea what it was all about. My only thought it that perhaps they were spell casting and after it was done they did what most bad guys don't have the brains to do around here and ran."

Buffy frowned for a second, "Only one small flaw. If they did cast a spell on my mom, what was their plan? If as you say they left town what was the point? To worry me yeah okay, but why? To what end? Most of the bad guys set up a diversion to do something not for nothing."

Spike shrugged apologetically, "No idea pet."

Buffy put her head in her hands, "It's my mom, and I have to do something."

Spike went over and pulled her into a hug. The tears had started again and he just let them come. She probably needed to cry he decided, she was always being strong, she needed to let go now and again, "It's okay Slayer, we'll figure this out."

Buffy looked up, "We?"

Spike smiled, "Of course 'we' you nit. Who am I going to have feed me hot chocolate and marshmallows? Your mom needs to get well soon."

* * *

Buffy left the crypt feeling better than she had when she had arrived. At least she had a starting point now. These monks. Buffy headed back to the magic shop for an update, she also wanted to drop a few hints as to the monks and her suspicions about her mom.

Well she managed to tell Giles the update, he had almost begged her for an update. The shop, worryingly empty this morning had suddenly filled up. A lot. There were people everywhere. Anya seemed to be in her element. She was taking money off people and then on Xander's instruction telling them to have a nice day. Buffy didn't think about this for too long, a thousand year old ex-demon, who punished men telling them to have a nice day? It just made her head spin. She managed to get herself sat comfortably behind the counter. Sorry Giles, sympathetic and all but Mom ill is a priority. Buffy was looking for spell that could be used to make someone sick. She had asked Willow but she had never heard of anything like it. Willow had heard of spells to kill but never to simply make someone headachy. There was, unfortunately nothing in the books.

Anya thought Buffy was very silly, why didn't she let the academic types do the research. Buffy could have been helping her, not that Anya really wanted her to but the offer would be nice. Deciding to offer some help Anya spoke, she wasn't serving anyone right then anyway, she was rescuing a package that Willow had tried to gift wrap. It looked like the paper had been shredded before she had even started, "You know Buffy," Buffy looked up at Anya a little irritated at being interrupted, "There was this French sorcerer back the in the sixteenth I-don't-know-what called um." The name escaped her, "Gutierre?" Giles asked. Anya smiled and nodded, "So cute in his little knickers. Anyway he had this one spell the demons just hated called 'ouvrir les rideaux'."

Buffy frowned, "Rotate many foodstuffs."

Willow smiled, "Pull the curtain back."

Anya grinned pleasantly, "A spell to see spells, well a trance to see spells actually, but you get the idea. Try that."

Buffy looked at Anya like the ex-demon had just suggested she dress up as a bunny and surprise the little kids, "What do you mean 'see spells'."

Giles looked thoughtful, Buffy was surprised he wasn't cleaning his glasses, it might have had something to do with the fact that his hands were full of boxes, "Well all spells leave behind a trace signature it's just not perceptible to the human eye. In this case it could be the image of a hand choking your mother."

"Or a cloud of mist around her." Anya's interest in this conversation was waning they'd figure it out they always did.

Willow's eyes lit up, "Or maybe the shape of the demon that's doing the spell?"

"Possible." Willow looked pleased at Giles confirmation making Buffy smile.

"Ok," Buffy was ready to try anything at this point even taking advice form the former vengeance demon, "So I'll do what, monsieur silk-knickers did. I'll go home I'll get trancey and I'll see what's effecting my mom."

* * *

They had argued with her over it of course, telling her that it was dangerous unless you knew what you were doing. She didn't care. It was her mom. She was not to risk her mom for anything. Buffy had thought about calling Spike for help, he'd been around for a while he might know what to do if something went wrong. But it was still daylight and she didn't know how she would explain his presence to anyone else should they see him. Riley called round without warning sometimes. That was all she needed. After arguing with Dawn, who wanted to watch, Buffy settled her self down.

The room was floating, no, she was floating. Her feet weren't touching the floor. Buffy opened her eyes and the darkness outside stunned her. She could have sworn that she had only been sitting there a moment. But her clock said it had been two and a half hours. Buffy moved, well she stood but she seemed to do it without actually having to do anything. Her whole body moved

when she told it to but it didn't feel like her limbs were moving.

Buffy walked down the stairs and looked around, it was like looking at everything through a thin mist, but in a good way. Buffy's attention was focused as soon as se heard her mother calling her,

"Buffy"

"Mom," Buffy began inspecting her mother while at the same time trying to carry on a normal sounding conversation. "You going out."

"Well either modern medicines working or I just took the world's best placebo either way, I'm going out for a couple of hours." There was nothing. Why was there nothing, why couldn't she see anything? Had the trance failed?

She didn't think so but she couldn't see anything on her mother, unconsciously Buffy said, "Nothing."

Joyce Summers frowned, "What?"

"There's nothing." Joyce smiled in maternal concern,

"Are you sure that you're okay? You seem a little out of it." Buffy tried to focus, but something caught her eye. The picture on the wall was moving. No it wasn't moving, it was vanishing more particularly Dawn. Dawn was vanishing. Joyce touched her daughters' arm to get her attention, "Hey?"

Buffy looked at her mom, "Oh yeah I'm fine. You go, have a good time."

"You're so grown up." Joyce touched Buffy's face and left.

* * *

Buffy moved through the house looking at other pictures of Dawn. No matter which one she looked at the image of her sister kept vanishing. What did this mean? Buffy forced her mind to see clearly. Did it mean that Dawn wasn't here? It had to mean something like that. And if Dawn wasn't here what was? Was Dawn possessed with something, meaning that her sister wasn't here? Buffy walked into her sister's room. All the furniture kept vanishing, showing what looked like a storage room instead. This made no sense. "Buffy." Why would the furniture be disappearing? "Buffy." The pictures and the furniture, but why? "Buffy!" The sound of 'Dawn's' voice penetrated her mind. "Buffy, who said you could come in my room?"

Dawn kept flashing in and out of Buffy's vision. Whatever that thing was, it wasn't her sister. It might have possessed her, or it might have something to do with the monk. Whatever it was, it was in her house and it wasn't Dawn. Buffy looked at it with hatred in her eyes, "You're not my sister."

* * *

Spike had been worried about Buffy. She was acting overly stressed about this. He had headed over to her house and climbed the tree outside, moving like a shadow. Seeing Buffy sitting on the floor her body relaxed with incense burning, he had guessed almost immediately, what was going on. A trance, Spike knew what trances looked like. Drusilla had used them in one way or another for over a hundred years in his presence. He had also seen what had happened once in the early years when the she hadn't been able to get out of one. Whatever had motivated Buffy to try trances had to be serious, something to do with Joyce? Spike moved around the house keeping an eye on Buffy through the various windows. It became apparent, as she peered at a picture of her sister and mum, that she was seeing something he was not. He followed her back upstairs and watched. As soon as he heard what Buffy said to her sister, his eyes went wide.

* * *

Spike jumped down from his perch and ran round the front of the house; opening the door, he sprinted up the stairs and watched as Buffy threw her sister against the wardrobe door. Quickly stepping in front of Buffy, he put his hands on her shoulders, and looked into her face. Her eyes were clear; she was out of the trance. He hadn’t wanted her to know that he had been watching her, but Buffy would never forgive herself if she did something to Dawn while in a trance. “Buffy, what are you doing pet?”

Buffy squirmed in his grasp trying to turn her attention back to Dawn, “No…let go I have to…”

But Spike was determined; he knew that Dawn was well…Dawn. He knew her scent; he had known it for over three years, “No, Buffy, you have to tell me what’s wrong. Tell me and if you’re right, whatever it is you’re trying to do I’ll help.”

Buffy stared at him for a second, “You don’t understand…she’s not, I don’t know…”

Buffy looked a little scared, Spike rubbed her shoulders with his thumbs and turned to Dawn, “Go down stairs bit. I’ll try and figure out what’s wrong here.” Dawn looked at Spike uncertainly for a second, she knew he was a vampire; she had been there the first time that Spike had ever attacked Buffy. She didn’t know whether to trust him, but seeing no better option she quickly turned and ran down the stairs. Spike turned back to the Slayer, “Buffy, tell me what’s wrong. Why don’t you think that Dawn isn’t your sister? Buffy, tell me. You have to tell me.”

Buffy was confused. She didn’t understand how Dawn could not be her sister but she knew that she wasn’t the trance had worked and it had told her that this thing was not her sister. “I was in a trance. I saw things. That thing is not my sister. Maybe she’s possessed, or maybe she’s been replaced with something. I don’t know exactly but I know that…it is not my sister.”

Spike was confused, but he did not doubt her sincerity. She was being as honest as she could be telling him all that she could, “Buffy, that is Dawn. No, listen to me pet. I know Dawn’s scent. I know that Dawn hasn’t been…changed. She is the same as she ever was.”

Buffy was shaking her head, she looked about to cry for the second time that day, but she didn’t, “I can’t explain it Spike. But I know it. That is not my sister.”

Spike was stopped from answering by the phone ringing. “You’d better get that pet.”

Buffy and Spike walked down the stairs. Picking up the phone, Buffy took a deep breath. Hearing Giles voice, Spike was touched to see her turn the phone so that he could hear the conversation about this glow-ball that Buffy had found, “It’s called the Dagon-sphere and it has a history going back many centuries”

Buffy’s eyes flicked to Spike, “Go on.”

“It’s a protective device used to ward off ancient primordial evil.”

Buffy grew more agitated, “Any word on what this evil looks like?” Spike could tell that Buffy thought this evil had something to do with Dawn. But he didn’t see it. You couldn’t dress as someone and have their scent. It was as clear as a fingerprint, just as unique but about a hundred times harder to fake.

“Unfortunately no. All it says is that the Dagon-sphere was used to repel ‘that which can not be named’.”

Buffy turned questioning eyes to Spike, “I’m gonna go back to the factory where I found it. Whoever planted this doo-hickey’s got answers.” Spike knew that she was asking him to go with her. He nodded.

“Buffy I know I’ve said this before but for goodness sake be careful. Anything that goes unnamed is usually an object of deep worship or great fear. Possibly both. Have you completed the trance to see what’s harming your mother?”

Buffy felt an urge to tell the man who was still her watcher and practically her father, “That’s the thing, I just saw…” Buffy’s voice trailed off as Spike touched her arm and indicated behind her, signalling that Dawn was in the room. “Nothing, it didn’t work.”

* * *

Buffy was walking quickly to the factory, she had to be back home before her mother got there and was alone in the house with that thing pretending to be her sister. Buffy couldn’t understand how something could fool Spike, but it had to be powerful, and she wasn’t going to let it happen, not to her, her mom, or her sister, wherever she was.

Spike was worried, Buffy was very tense, her heart was pounding, Spike could hear it, and she was almost running to the warehouse. He didn’t know what she had seen to convince her, so completely but it had to be amazing. After a few second, he took her hand and squeezed it. He saw her smile as she squeezed his. Her pace slowed and she seemed to relax minutely.

They crept through the old warehouse and Buffy felt a tug on her arm Spike pointed to the monk, Buffy let go of his hand and ran to the man, “It was you who planted the Dagon-sphere right? I got it. Don’t worry I’m stronger than I look.” Buffy glanced at Spike and flicked her eyes to show she knew about the approaching person, Spike stood back into the shadows, the woman hadn’t seen him yet and an element of surprise might be useful. “I’ve had experience with this sort of thing before, but best of all…” Buffy turned and put her and on the woman’s throat, “I’m not stupid.”

Next thing Spike saw was the woman in the red dress pull Buffy’s hand off her throat and hit the Slayer in the face. Buffy flew across the room and landed in a crouch. Spike was stunned for a second, but that was all it took for him to get across to her and pull her to her feet.

“Are you sure about that last part? Two of you huh? Well wont be that difficult.” The woman stopped after a second, “A vampire? A vampire? A vampire that wants to fight me? Never even thought about that. But maybe I can find out if anything besides the basics kill you, you know, like dismemberment, castration, anything else really.”

Spike squirmed, at the very idea. He didn’t like this one little bit. This bitch had thrown Buffy without a second thought. She was strong. They needed to know what they were up against before they fought her. Unfortunately, that wasn’t really an option. Buffy wasn’t going to leave without the monk. So fight it was.

* * *

The woman was winning, even against the two of them and Buffy knew it. She knew that Spike knew it. The bitch wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Neither of them could keep this up for much longer. Buffy grabbed Spike by the arm and ran for the monk. The woman gave chase quickly but not before Buffy, closely followed by Spike, jumped through the plate glass making sure the already injured monk didn’t hit the floor.

Hearing the building collapse behind them, Buffy began to drag the monk away with Spike’s help, but he didn’t seem to want to be dragged. He pulled away from them and lay down on the floor, “I’m done. My journeys done.”

Spike gripped the man’s arms and tried to haul the man to his feet, “No it bloody well isn’t. We need your help. I’m betting you know what is happening with Dawn. We need you to explain.”

The monk nodded, “The key. You must protect the key.”

Buffy nodded, “Yes, excellent plan, we’ll protect the key together, all three of us. We’ll do it somewhere that’s not here though because that thing is strong and we’re going to need your help.”

The monk didn’t seem to hear her, “The world…many will die…everyone will die, if you don’t keep it safe.”

Spike was getting impatient, “Look, if we don’t get out of here now, there will be no one left alive to protect the key, we have to go now.”

Buffy could see that the man was really about to die, “What is it? The key, what is it?”

Spike looked up at the factory checking for signs of life. Finding none, he let the man answer “For centuries it had no form at all, my brothers, kept it safe. Now we can’t I am the last. The Beast found us before we could escape. We hid ourselves with magic for years but she still found us.”

Buffy sighed, “Yes but what is it?”

The man looked nervous as thought he might be chastised but he carried on anyway, “When the Beast found us, we learnt that our magic’s were inadequate they weren’t going to work anymore. We had to try something else, we had to hide the key. Gave it form, moulded it flesh made it human and sent it to you.”

Buffy looked as thought she was going to be sick. Spike felt her grip his arm, the man couldn’t mean, surely the bloke couldn’t be telling them…but Buffy answered before Spike could even ask, “Dawn?”

The monk nodded, “She’s the key. We knew the Slayer would protect. But we had to be sure. You have memories of her, you have memories of loving her, and so you will protect her.”

Buffy clutched Spike tighter, “You put that thing into my home. You went inside my head…minds of everyone I love and built memories?” The monk nodded, “Then you un-build them. You can’t just insert her into my life…”

The monk became agitated, “You can not just abandon her, she, is you. We made her out of you, taking your memories and made her.”

Buffy trembled as realisation hit her, “She’s not my sister. I don’t have a sister. How? She’s always been there…she’s my…How can she not be my sister?”

The monk smiled sympathetically, “She doesn’t know. She’s an innocent in this. She has memories of her life. She doesn’t know that she’s not your sister.”

Spike watched as the man’s eyes glazed over and heard his heart stop. Looking at Buffy, he saw that her eyes were filled with tears, but she seemed beyond crying. Spike moved away from the body and wrapped his arms around the Slayer, who suddenly seemed so very small to carry the burden she always carried.

Buffy clung to him as though she would never let go. She couldn’t cry she was in too much shock. Dawn, her baby sister, how could she not have always been there. She remembered so many things, the time that Dawn had cried because one of her porcelain figures had been broken in the move, the time that she had cut her knee when learning to ride a bike…how could those things not have…not she couldn’t think about these things. She didn’t need to. But she needed him, she needed him desperately to hold her. Buffy felt him rock her, kissing her hair, telling her that he loved her. She just hid her face in his coat.

* * *

Spike had almost had to carry Buffy back to her house. At first, she had this look, like she wasn’t there. As soon as Buffy heard her mother and her ‘sister’ inside she had snapped out of it. “Spike, I need you to do me a favour, okay.”

“Right, Slayer, what do you need me to do.”

Buffy looked at her watch, “I need to you to call Giles and tell him to come round here in two hours. Everyone will be in bed, so he can’t knock. Tell him to come to the door at eleven thirty and I’ll be there to open the door.”

Spike nodded, “Right pet. I’ll make sure that he’s here. And Slayer,” Buffy turned to face him. “She’s still you’re sister. You’re just even more than that now; she’s you. You love her, and you need to protect her. And if you need me I’ll be here to protect her, just like I’d protect you.”

Buffy had silent tears streaming down her face as Spike turned away, “Spike?” As soon as Spike turned around he felt a pair of arms go around his neck. Without thinking, he kissed her back. He felt her run her hands up and down his back, pulling away before things went any further, she lay her forehead against his, “Thanks Spike. You wont tell any one will you.”

It wasn’t a question and before he could reply, she was heading through her front door smiling slightly at him over her shoulder.

* * *

“Hello, Magic Box.”

Giles had, had a very rough day. It had been like a railway station in there. He had been reduced to hiring Anya, simply because she could handle it so much better than he could. He had a horrible feeling that this phone call was going to be something else he couldn’t be bothered to deal with, “Watcher,” oh god he was right. “You need to go round to the Slayer’s house tonight, she needs to see you.”

Giles felt his heart leap into his throat, “God, is she all right has something happened?”

“Calm down Watcher, you’ll give yourself a coronary. There’s nothing wrong, but she needs to see you. Go round in about an hour and a half, at half eleven. Don’t knock on the door you’ll just wake up everyone. She’ll be ready to open the door to you.”

Something occurred to Giles, “Why are you delivering this message?”

Spike felt suddenly irritated. That question had come to mind? “I was there when the thing that Buffy need to tell you about happened. Just be there, she made me promise to call you.”

Giles nodded although he knew that Spike couldn’t see him, “Of course I’ll be there. Thank you Sp…” Before Giles could finish, Spike had hung up.

* * *

Buffy had felt the need to make up with Dawn even though she never would have done in the past. She felt strangely closer to her; she wanted to be close to her. Now she was trying to explain everything to Giles, at least the parts that she understood. “And she has no idea?”

No, Dawn didn’t have any idea. And she must not know, she must never know. And this thing, this woman, was so powerful; she had been able to take both Buffy and Spike. She knew that she was talking to Giles but she didn’t really seem to be know what she was saying. She needed Giles to take control, she felt so lost she didn’t know how to take control. Sometimes it felt like there was such a weight on her shoulders making her so tired, how was she supposed to deal with this, what was she meant to do? Thank fully he did, “We need to find out who this woman is and what she needs Dawn for.” He looked at Buffy, “I mean if she comes after you…”

Buffy looked up the stairs towards her sisters bedroom, “She’ll come…she’ll come for us.”

Spike was tempted to go back round to see Buffy. She had been so upset; he could only imagine how she felt. Despite their recent arguments, Spike could remember how close they ad been. He had even kidnapped Dawn once to use as a bargaining chip to get Buffy to…no, no he hadn’t. That was the point, he hadn’t. He hadn’t done any of it. But, there was more that Buffy hadn’t done with her sister. He just didn’t really want to leave her alone. Giles would have left by now, and she would be alone…no she wouldn’t. Spike grabbed his duster and headed for the door.

* * *

Buffy dragged her tired body up the stairs and stopped holding the tears in. She couldn’t grasp it; her mind couldn’t grasp it. Buffy stopped by Dawn’s door and glanced in, no…Dawn might not have always been there, but as far as she was concerned, Dawn was her sister, no she was more than that. Dawn was a part of her. She was going to protect her sister. She couldn’t stop the tears though. She was sorry for Dawn as well. Dawn, a fourteen year old who was always going to be different, Buffy knew what that was like. The Slayer stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed, she felt alone. She cried into her pillow.

* * *

Spike climbed the tree outside Buffy’s window, he could hear her crying, he was tempted to knock but decided not to. He slid the window up and climbed through the space silently. Spike walked towards the bed, Buffy was facing away from the window, and Spike touched her shoulder.

Buffy knew it was he as soon as he touched her. She turned over and wiped furiously at her eyes. Spike took her hands. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. Buffy cried. She wasn’t sure why, but she wasn’t afraid to cry. Why did it feel like this? Why did it feel so different? It didn’t feel like this with Riley? She couldn’t let go with him; she felt like she had to look after Riley all the time, she didn’t feel like that with Spike. Buffy turned her head and kissed Spike, she knew what she was doing. She was kissing him on her bed in the middle of the night, she knew what she was telling him and she did want to, she wanted him. She wanted him so badly that it almost hurt her. Spike pulled away from her, “I only came round to see if you were okay Slayer, see if you needed me. I’m sorry pet, I didn’t mean to take advantage.”

Spike stood up and started towards the window, but Buffy caught his hand, “Spike don’t go, I do need you.” Buffy pulled him back and put his arm back around her waist.

Spike wasn’t sure that he had heard her correctly. Why would she want him, she was the Slayer one of the purest beings on this planet, why would she want him? “Are you sure about this?”

Buffy nodded and stood on the bed pulling him to her and kissing him. Buffy was sure about this she knew what she wanted. Slipping her legs around his waist he held her as she rubbed her hands down his back, she wanted this; she wanted him. Buffy slipped her hands underneath Spike’s shirt massaging the muscle. She pushed them into a sitting position so that she was across his lap. She could feel the outline of Spike’s cock on the inside of her thigh and she gave a low moan into his mouth. Buffy tugged the shirt over the vampire’s head and ran her hands over his chest. She kissed him again slipping her tongue over his. Buffy pulled her spaghetti strap top over her head.

Spike kept trying to force his mind to believe that this was happening. He didn’t want to let himself enjoy this in case he woke up and found that it wasn’t true. Spike watched as she took off her top and if he hadn’t been sitting his legs would have given way. She was truly beautiful. Spike lowered his head to her breast and sucked the hardened nipple into his mouth. Buffy squirmed against his mouth and ground her pussy downwards against his erection. Spike gripped her hips and rubbed her against him, feeling the heat that was coming off her. Spike moved and laid her on her back slipping her shorts down her legs. Spike stared at her for a second and she moved to cover herself in embarrassment, “Don’t even think about it pet. You’re beautiful.” Spike kissed down her flat stomach.

Buffy squirmed. She wanted him to touch her pussy; she was practically aching for his touch now. She felt a breeze on her stomach and opened her eyes to see that Spike was running his hands over her calves. She moaned as he massaged her legs making her wet as he tortured her. Buffy closed her eyes again as he ran his tongue up the inside of her thigh. She waited for his touch but he simply moved to the other thigh, “Spike, please . . .”

Spike smiled, he’d wondered how long it would be before she asked nicely. Spike bent low, and ran his hand down her stomach. He opened the lips of her pussy and traced the inside with his tongue. Buffy bucked up into his face and cried out quietly biting her lip. Spike quickly stood up from the bed. Buffy felt him leave and looked up, “What’s wrong?”

Spike grinned at her, “You want to wake the house?”

Buffy flushed, “I guess not.”

Buffy reached for her shorts her pussy trembling, wet and aching, “What are you doing Slayer?”

Buffy looked at him in confusion, “But you said . . .”

Spike smirked; he walked over and threw her shorts over his shoulder. From behind his back he showed her a leather strapped watch that he held up, “Open your mouth pet.” Buffy did as she was told, “Now bite down.”

Buffy bit down on the leather as Spike crawled back down her body and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder. Spike opened her again to see her swollen clit. He lowered his head and stroked the nubbin with his tongue. Buffy bucked up into his face and bit down hard on the leather strap. Spike slipped his hand underneath her ass and slipped a finger from his other hand into her soaked opening. He searched for an area on the inside of her walls and stroked it firmly. Buffy keened and her hands flew to his shoulder.

Spike lowered his head and inserted another finger. He licked her clit as she rocked against his mouth. Her hands clutched his hair as she ground against his tongue.

Buffy came writhing into his face, as he stroked her from inside.

Buffy opened her eyes and smiled. He crawled back up her body and stroked her face. Buffy wriggled suddenly and pushed him onto his back his time. She slowly sank slightly his cock just inside her wet opening. She swivelled her hips around. Spike clutched at her hips so hard that he was afraid of leaving finger marks. She lowered herself slowly still circling. When she was all the way down, she moaned and lifted herself up. She slammed down on his cock and he groaned out. Buffy stopped moving causing him to open his eyes but all she did was put the watch strap in his mouth before she started moving again. She bounced up and down on his cock citing her lip. Spike slipped his hands up and massaged her nipple. Scooting backwards he propped himself against the headboard, which thankfully was a decent distance from the wall. He suckled on her nipples and lowered a hand to pinch her clit, Buffy clutched at his shoulders and rode him faster “Oh God . . .Spike harder . . . harder . . .so good . . . harder. . . Unh unh unh . . .UNH.”

Buffy felt Spike clap his hand to her mouth as she came violently. Seconds later she felt Spike come hard inside of her.

Buffy fell forward into his arms. He kissed her softly and held her limp body to him.

* * *

Spike woke the next morning early at about four thirty am. The sunrise had disturbed his sleep. He was trying to figure out what to do about it, it was rising in about twenty minutes, but he felt the tiny blonde mortal beside stirring, she was lying with one leg draped across him and both arms pressed to his chest as he held her. Spike felt her move, she was awake, he could tell by her heartbeat. She was going to throw him out, he could se it coming, she was going to come to her senses and kick him out. Spike heard her heart beating even faster, an obvious sign of panic, he closed his eyes, he wanted to hold onto this feeling for as long as possible. Instead of waking him up though, she was creeping out of bed. Spike opened his eyes a crack and saw Buffy pulled the blinds shut. Spike felt as though his heart had jumped to his throat, Buffy crawled back into bed beside him and snuggled against his side falling asleep again quickly. Spike wrapped his arms back around her again and kissed her.

* * *

Buffy woke around ten thirty. But she didn’t want to wake up; she wanted to stay like this. She wasn’t ready to get up and face the world; she liked it where she was. She liked it with Spike and boy was he good in bed, with the…and the…and that thing he could do with his…Well that wasn’t the point. She was going to have to move. She was hungry.

Spike felt Buffy wriggle but instead of letting her go he pinched her on the ass first. Buffy turned around and smiled, “I didn’t know that you were awake.”

“Course, pet. You’re heart speeds up when you wake up, I can tell.”

“Hah! I woke up before and you didn’t notice.”

Spike knew that she was referring to when she had gotten up to close the curtains, he pointed at them, “Considerate of you pet.”

Buffy’s eyes widened a little, “You really do notice.”

Spike pulled her back onto the bed, “I always notice.” Buffy didn’t hesitate to return the kiss that Spike planted on her lips. She was about to get back underneath the covers when the phone rang, “Sorry, I have to get it, I don’t know if Dawn’s still in.”

Buffy grabbed her robe and ran down the stairs, “Hello?”

* * *

“Hey Buffy.”

Buffy smiled, “Hey Will. What’s up?”

“What? Did you forget? We’re mean to be helping you to move out of the dorm and back into your mom’s permanently. You did forget huh?”

“Yeah. But it’s no problem, I’ll just get dressed and meet you there in an hour.”

“Okay Buff. Dawn was dropped off here this morning, by your mom, who said she was feeling better by the way. Anyway, Dawn said that shed help us out. So that makes, me, you, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Tara oh and of course Riley.”

Buffy felt her stomach clench, oh god Riley! What was she going to do? She had deliberately not thought about it. She hadn’t wanted to think about it. She had wanted to be with Spike. She had…oh god…she had cheated on Riley. And technically, she was cheating on Spike with Riley if she saw him today. What was she going to do? “Will, I’ll see you in an hour okay?”

“Yeah sure Buff.”

Buffy put the phone down and headed back upstairs to the bathroom.

* * *

Buffy went back into her room. Spike held out his hand and she took it without thinking. He pulled her down onto the bed and kissed her, but she pulled away. “Spike I need to talk to you.”

Spike heard the seriousness in her voice; whatever had been said over the phone had effected her, “What’s wrong pet?”

“I’m kinda moving back into well…here. With mom being sick, I need to be here and now with Dawn…well I need to be here. And we’re all going over to the dorm to move me out.”

Spike could see that she was trying to say something and she didn’t seem to be able to get it out, “Buffy, what are we getting around to here pet?”

Buffy squirmed, “Well I need everyone’s help, Dawn, Willow, Giles…and Riley.”

Spike stiffened. He had almost seen this coming. He had no idea how to deal with this, but at the mention of Riley’s name, he had the sudden urge to vamp out and growl ‘your mine’. And yet, he didn’t feel that he could call that, he wanted to, he wanted to make this tiny blonde mortal ‘his’, but he didn’t know if she would let him. Spike climbed out of bed and grabbed his jeans, “It’s okay then, I’ll just get out of your hair.”

Buffy felt guilt stab her, “I’m sorry Spike. But what am I meant to say, ‘Hey sorry Riley but I have to spend the day with my lover’?

Spike stood and looked at her, he still had to shirt on and Buffy was trying desperately to not look, “Is that what I am pet? Your lover? Your bit on the side?”

Buffy didn’t know what to say, “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that but what do you want me to say? I know that I feel something here but it’s just…”

Spike’s heart sank, “What pet? Not good enough for you? I had the feeling.”

“No that’s not what I mean…meant.” Buffy hesitated for a second trying to find the right words, “Riley is everything I’ve ever wanted, a nice, normal, guy. Someone who I can be real with because he is real, he isn’t something belonging to the world I have to live in.”

Spike walked over to her and ran a hand over her breast, “Is that really enough for you pet, ‘nice…normal’? Is that all you need? I don’t think that he really is enough? I don’t think that he is all you need. I could tell last night, the way we were touching, you were getting something that you don’t get with him.”

“I don’t know, God I’m not ready to deal with this not this too. I…I’m sorry, I feel something for you but I just don’t know if I can deal with this. It’s just…it’s a little too uh right now.”

Spike felt sympathy for her, she didn’t need him pushing her with everything else she had do deal with, her mom, her sister, “Look Slayer. I don’t care what tell Riley, but you can come to me and I won’t say anything. You can come to me and I'll be there for everything. Including an incredible night like last night, but if you let him touch you, it’s over I can’t handle that. I wont share you.”

Buffy looked at Spike, he still wanted her, still loved her? He said that he would wait, but Riley…how would she explain her not wanting him? “How do I explain?”

“Not my issue pet. If you want to call it off completely fine. I don’t want you to, but if that’s your choice otherwise, I’ll wait and still be here, but you don’t sleep with him. What do you say? For now at least?”

Buffy didn’t know what to say, what was she meant to say? Spike was practically offering to start a…a what? She didn’t want to think too much about that, though she did know what he actually meant. The idea of starting an affair made her stomach turn. She wouldn’t choose she couldn’t but she didn’t know if she could do without Spike not after…what had happened. And how would she explain to Riley how she went off him? God this was making her head spin. Buffy took a deep breath and looked at Spike. She wasn’t going to lose him, but if she chose him she’d have to give up all pretence at a normal life, she wasn’t going to do that either. She couldn’t she wasn’t ready. Buffy nodded. Spike didn’t seem happy but resigned as he nodded too and pulled her against him kissing her. Stopping any thoughts going through her head she returned the kiss. Spike slipped her robe off her shoulders and kissed her neck and throat. Buffy was late for meeting the guys.

* * *

God, Dawn only had to be out of her sight for like thirty seconds and she started to hyperventilate. This morning when they had been moving she had nearly given the game away by freaking out when Dawn was out of the room.

Buffy also had major guilt. It was Tara’s birthday tomorrow and she had no idea what to get for the blond witch. What did one buy for someone they didn’t know that well? Whoa hold on ‘what did ONE buy. . .?’ she was spending too much time around Giles. Didn’t solve her problem though. Buffy walked down the street, to home. She wanted o check on Dawn. God she was becoming obsessive, and after that well. . . she didn’t know. Maybe she’d do a patrol and if that patrol happened to take her past Spike’s crypt? Well accidents happened. Buffy groaned; she felt so unbelievably guilt. When Riley had touched her back today she had practically jumped away from him. She had seen hurt flash on his face and then anger. She didn’t want to hurt him, she just. . .well she just couldn’t seem to stop herself from wanting to see Spike again.

It felt like she hadn’t seen him in ages, and it had only been this morning.

Buffy opened the door and could practically feel her boyfriend’s presence, the human one. “Riley?”

Riley trotted down the stairs, my obedient little boyfriend thought Buffy, “Hey. Just unpacked the rest of your stuff. Wouldn’t even know that you ever left.”

Buffy smiled, “Thanks your sweet.”

“No I’m not, I like it when you owe me favours.”

Riley slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her body to his and Buffy felt her self tense up. Spike had only given her this one condition and she could understand where he was coming from. As Willow had said once he wasn’t exactly ‘Joe restraint’ the idea to Riley touching her must be pretty much unbearable to him. She tried not to make her obvious dodge too obvious as she pushed Riley away, “Well I can’t pay you back just yet, Dawn is in the house and she doesn’t need that kind of emotional scarring.”

Unfortunately Riley had noticed and with a frown on his face looked about to start something when Dawn came walking past. Buffy flashed Riley an I-told-you-so look, thanking God, or monks, for her sister, “See you later.”

Buffy’s relief disappeared, “Whoa, whoa where do you think you’re going?”

Dawn looked at Buffy like she had either gone insane or grown another head; “I’m going to Melinda’s for dinner”

“Since when?”

Dawn smiled, “Nowish.”

Buffy felt her heart clench. Dawn was planning on going somewhere without family or Scoobies? No, she couldn’t. Buffy wouldn’t be able to stop worrying, “You can’t. It’s not safe for you to walk there.”

Dawn felt Buffy’s big sister mode flick on, “It’s across the street. What’s the big deal? I’m just going to go. . .”

“NO. It’s family night. Besides Melinda’s a bad influence I don’t like you hanging out with someone that. . . ” Buffy didn’t know what to say. Melinda was a nice kid, “Short.”

Dawn glared at her sister, “I’m so glad that you’re moving back into the house. This is the source of my gladness.”

Riley was looking at Buffy very strangely. He was going to ask her what all that had been about and she couldn’t tell him. Yet another thing to be insecure about. Though as Spike pointed out he did have a reason to be insecure. Buffy was sleeping with the undead. . . again.

* * *

Glory just wouldn’t have it. She wouldn’t, she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t. Some puny little things interfering. Glory threw another shoe at the layofft demon she had caught before. She was waiting for him to wake up and he was being annoyingly uncooperative. Carefully aiming this time she threw the next show at the side of his head. That did it, “Finally I thought that you were going to nap the whole day away.” The demon struggle in his chains but Glory knew that he wasn’t going anywhere, “Stop whining. You know I remember when the layoffts were a proud warrior race not sneaking around hospitals looking for weak sickly typed to suck the bone marrow from.”

The demon grunted something unfriendly but she carried on anyway. “ I need info and then I need you to deal with a problem. Blond, short, strong for a human. A girl. There was a vampire with her. Also blond, I mean icky. What is it with everyone wanting to be blond?”

The demon grunted something else. “A slayer? Please don’t tell me that I was fighting a vampire slayer. . . wait. If she’s a vampire slayer, what was she doing with a vampire? Aren’t they meant to kill those things?”

* * *