"You alright there, luv?" an accented voice asked from behind her. Buffy turned to find a man on a barstool there, head tilted to one side as he observed her. He had the deepest blue eyes she’d ever seen and the brightest blond hair too.

"I’m fine" she nodded a little warily, stirring her Martini around in the glass with the cocktail stick that had an olive on it at some point.

"S’alright, pet, I’m not some weirdo who’s gonna jump on you any second" the stranger smirked as she shifted away from him, "You just looked a bit, well, lost I s’pose"

Buffy smiled at his apparent interest in her, sighing at the same time and wondering when she’d became so cynical that she automatically assumed a guy that spoke to her in a club like this was some kind of attacker.

"I’m not lost" she assured him, deciding she might as well sit down on the stool beside him, "See that bunch of shiny happy people over there" she pointed and he nodded when he spotted those she spoke of, "That’s where I’m supposed to be. It’s an engagement party for my two of mybest friends" she said absently as she watched Willow and Xander laughing with the other couples. All those couples, and her on her own. She’d just had to get away.

"Tell me then, luv" the stranger asked her, "If your best mates are over there, what exactly are you doing all alone over here?"

"I’m not alone" she smiled as she turned back to look at him, "I’m with you"

He smirked at that, turning it into a smile when she held out a hand to him.

"I’m Buffy, by the way" she told him as he took hold of her hand in his.

"Spike" he gave as his own handle as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

"Your Mom and Dad named you Spike?" she laughed to cover the fact he’d embarrassed her a little.

"No" he agreed, "You tellin’ be your parents named you Buffy?" he asked in kind, with a raised eyebrow as he sipped his bourbon.

"Yes, actually" the blonde replied, going even more red than she had done previously, "I sometimes wonder about their sense of humour" she rolled her eyes and Spike bit his lip so as not to laugh.

"Well then, Buffy" he said her name with some emphasis as he tried to puzzle out where her parents had ever found such a thing, "How about I buy you another drink, seein’ as we’re such good friends now"

"Yeah, okay" she nodded, "Thanks" she said, settling herself on the stool and deciding she’d be happy to stay and talk for a while. It wasn’t as if she was doing anything wrong, just talking and having a drink with this nice, seemingly decent, drop dead gorgeous guy. As she glanced back at her friends she noticed they’d not even missed her yet, such was the world.

"So, you’re not from around here, right?" she asked her new friend as their drinks arrived on the bar and he paid for them.

"What gave me away?" he smirked and she laughed lightly.

"Well, let’s skip past the fact that nobody from Sunnydale has that accent" she told him with a look, "and come straight to the point that if I’d seen you before I would’ve remembered" she grinned, downing half her drink in one go.

"I’m from England" Spike explained, "Just north of London actually. Came here for my Summer vacation"

"Alone?" Buffy checked, finding it a little strange that such a hottie as this didn’t have at least one girlfriend if not several.

"Yeah, alone" he confirmed staring into his glass, "Was supposed to be coming here with my girlfriend, but..."

"Bad break-up?" Buffy guessed with a pained expression, regretting asking now.

"Is there a good kind?" he asked, taking a gulp of his drink, "Truth is I found her in bed with someone else"

"Ouch" was Buffy’s response. She couldn’t imagine how much that must hurt, to walk in and find the one person you loved with all your heart in the arms of another.

"Yeah, well, don’t s’pose I can really blame her" Spike sighed, finishing his drink much faster than he’d intended to and immediately ordering another for both himself and Buffy. Talking about Dru made him want to drink on until he couldn’t think anymore, didn’t care like he did when he was sober.

"What possible good reason could she have for cheating on you with some other guy?" Buffy asked with a look. She was a strong person, never allowing herself to become a victim, well, she tried not to anyway. She hated to see others suffer, be weak and allow themselves to get stepped on by those they loved or hated, it didn’t matter either way.

"See that’s the point though, innit?" he said, picking up his next drink and studying the brown liquid as it sloshed against the sides of it’s container, "Didn’t catch her at it with another fella" he admitted, "Found her in our bed, getting her happys with another bird"

Buffy’s eyes were wide as the Grand Canyon, though Spike wasn’t looking at her to know it. That really was the absolute last thing she’d been expecting him to say.

"She was... oh" she said, frowning hard, then biting her lip as laughter wanted to force it’s way out of her body. Here she sat, her life not exactly on the up and up, and still she’d managed to find the one other person in the whole of the Bronze with bigger and more unsolvable problems than her.

"Are you laughing at me?" Spike asked her with a tilt of his head as Buffy tried to hide her giggles in her hand. It didn’t work too well, though she shook her head in answer to his question.

"You bloody are!" he accused and he seemed so serious about it, Buffy felt awful but she couldn’t help busting up laughing. It was just so ridiculous. There was a woman out there who had Spike for a boyfriend, this gorgeous and apparently genuinely nice guy and she was gay. How incredibly unfair was that?

"I’m so sorry" Buffy attempted to apologise around her terrible fit of giggles, "I just... it’s so ridiculously insane"

Spike couldn’t help himself as he joined in laughing with her.

"S’pose it does sound bloody funny from the outside" he admitted, knowing that if he were alone thinking about his situation he’d be crying like a baby, especially after the amount of drinks he’d had. Somehow Buffy’s presence made it more bearable, better than just bearable, even amusing to him.

When the pair of them had substantially calmed down, Buffy took her turn and bought the next round of drinks. Neither seemed at all bothered by how much they were drinking, life was too complicated to want to remember all it’s intricacies right now. Better to drink and talk and laugh and let all the badness drift away for a few hours, they decided. It wasn’t as if anyone was going to miss them going home tonight.

"So, how about you, pet?" Spike asked Buffy.

"How about me, what?" she checked, not understanding what he meant.

"Your latest flame planning on going gay too?" he smirked and she giggled once again.

"Doubtful" she told him, with a shake of her head, "Very doubtful. He likes women way too much for that... just not me so much" she added sadly as she finished off another drink. Spike looked thoughtfully at her. How was it possible that such a woman could not be desirable to any straight bloke with a pulse? His silent thinking made Buffy uncomfortable after a while and she told him so too.

"Do you have to look at me like that?" she said, glancing away from his intense gaze and going slightly pink.

"Sorry, pet" Spike told her, finding her embarrassment so endearing, "I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m just trying to figure out... I don’t understand how any man could ever not want you" he told her perfectly seriously and Buffy looked up at him with such wonder and surprise, as if no-one had ever told her she was attractive.

"I think you’re drunk" she said, shifting awkwardly in her seat.

"Maybe" he agreed, putting his fingers under her chin and turning her head back so she was facing him, "but that doesn’t change the fact that you are a very attractive woman" he told her, looking right into her eyes and making her listen, "I was sober enough when you came over here and I knew it then. Fella’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice" he said solemnly, not realising that the entire time they had been drifting closer and closer together.

Buffy swallowed hard and her heart thumped wildly in her chest, as Spike leaned in a little further and put his lips to hers. If she didn’t know better, she would’ve sworn it was the fourth of July and somebody was letting off fireworks all around her as he kissed her all but breathless. Her arms slid up around his neck as his wrapped around her waist, lifting her from the stool and pulling her towards him. She was practically on his lap as the kiss deepened and he protested a little when she tried to pull away.

"Spike" she gasped, trying to breathe as she rested her forehead against his, "What’re we doing?"

"Well, where I come from, it’s called snogging, luv" he told her, wasting no time in giving her another demonstration which she let happen for a moment before pulling away again and this time right out of his arms.

"This isn’t a good idea" she told him, sitting back down on her stool and looking off to the side, "I mean, you know this is insane, right?" she checked, wondering if it was just her being weird again or whether this really was kind of inappropriate. She’d only met this guy a couple of hours ago and suddenly they were lip-locking like it was going out of style, there had to be something wrong with this picture.

"Yeah" he sighed, turning on his seat and finishing another drink, "S’pose it is sort of daft to be messing around..." he trailed off, finding it terribly difficult to have a sensible and rational thought right now, without getting lost somewhere in the middle. Some of that he guessed was the alcohol’s doing, but he’d been fine just a few minutes ago, right up until he’d kissed Buffy. God but she was beautiful he thought as he glanced over at her, playing with an umbrella from someone’s abandoned cocktail. He’d met some girls in his time, slept with several, even fancied himself in love with a couple but there was just something about this one, about Buffy, that he couldn’t wrap his head around. Never had simply kissing a girl got him as excited as he was when he had her in his arms just now.

Buffy herself refused to move her eyes away from the bar or the paper umbrella between her fingers. If she looked at Spike she’d want to get back over there and kiss him again, feel his lips on her own, and his hands burning her skin even through her clothes. Nobody ever made her feel that good, not ever, and all they’d really done was kiss. That was a fact that both scared Buffy and thrilled her at the same time, in a way she couldn’t begin to describe and didn’t want to try.

"Er, I should probably go" she realised, even though somewhere inside her a voice was screaming what an idiot she was to walk away from a man like this, a man that could make her shiver inside with just a look and who’s kiss sent her soaring through the clouds. Okay, so he could be anybody, she didn’t know him properly or anything but she’d like to know him better, intimately being the perfect word for just how well.

"Do you have to go?" Spike asked her, reaching out a hand to her arm as she got up, "We were doin’ alright before, talking and stuff" he reminded her.

"I know" she nodded, eyes flitting between his own and the point on her arm where his fingers lay, and finding it ridiculously difficult to get out a sentence, "but this isn’t... it’s not... It’s too hot in here" she said, pulling her arm from his grip and stepping away, "I have to get out"

With that she practically ran for the exit and despite the fact he was a little bit drunk, Spike managed to move fast enough to follow her, probably aided by the fact she’d had her fill of alcoholic beverages tonight too.

They arrived outside the door of the club and Buffy took in great lungfuls of fresh air, hoping to make herself cooler and calmer. It didn’t help as much as it should, since Spike was right by her side again, giving her that intense look that made her melt inside.

"You’re bleeding" he frowned, reaching out to take her hand carefully in his own.

"I tripped at the door" she said absently, "Put my hand out to stop myself falling... I guess there was something sharp or..." her head swam from a mixture of alcohol, the sight of her own blood, and the gentle way this guy was cradling her hand so carefully in his own.

"I’m staying at the hotel just around the corner" he told her, "If you want I could clean this up for you, maybe make us a coffee too" he suggested.

Buffy opened her mouth to say thanks but no, when his eyes came up to meet hers again. Before she knew it she’d agreed to his proposition, and they were walking together, him asking her if she had a clean handkerchief or similar that she could press onto her cut until they got to his room. She managed to find some tissue from her purse and did as he told her, absently wondering if he was a doctor or something, but then it hardly took a real medic to know how to stem the flow of blood from a small scrape like this.

They were silent as they went into the building and travelled up three floors via the elevator. They shared a couple of glances but Buffy mostly kept her eyes on the floor, knowing if their eyes met for too long their lips would soon follow and things might get out of hand. Speaking of hands, she was fairly certain her own had stopped bleeding now but for some reason she didn’t tell Spike, and followed him from the elevator to his door and then inside his room.

"Sit down" he told her, gesturing vaguely to the bed, and despite her better judgement, Buffy perched on the edge of it, seeing as there was no chair or anything as an alternative. Spike disappeared into the en suite bathroom and returned a moment later with some antiseptic and so forth. It still should’ve hurt, Buffy realised, as he cleaned up her almost non-existent wound, but it didn’t. She felt nothing but electric-type sensations as his fingers caressed the skin of her hand.

"There" he said a moment later as he pressed a sticky plaster over the cut, "All fixed up" he smiled, kissing her hand as he had when they first met just hours ago.

"Thankyou" Buffy breathed, absently wondering why he was still holding her hand, and how they seemed to be leaning in closer to each other despite the fact she was unaware she was actually moving.

"You’re welcome, luv" he replied, eyes flickering between her own hazel pools and her lips as she licked them absently.

"I should go" she said, glancing towards the door and back, "but maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"No can do, pet" he told her, intense gaze never wavering, "Going back home tomorrow"

Buffy couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear to think she was about to walk out on this wonderful man and she would never see him again. She wasn’t so naive she believed in love at first sight, that was for silly school girls and their daydreams. Still, she was only twenty-five, she told herself, despite the fact she felt so much older most days. She looked down to avoid his eyes but his hand reached out to push her hair away from her face, fingers lingering at her cheek.

"You are so beautiful" he told her, meaning it as honestly as he’d ever meant anything. When he leaned in to kiss her, Buffy lost all capacity for any kind of rational thought. Fireworks, just like before, electricity, fire, explosions, all those feelings she’d only ever read about in books were happening to her now as Spike kissed her til she couldn’t breathe, and still she didn’t want him to stop.

He leaned her back onto the bed, pressed her body into the mattress with the weight of his own as he kissed a path from her lips down her throat and back.

"Oh God" Buffy gasped, a small part of her telling her she was idiot and asking what the hell she thought she was doing, but the whole point was that she wasn’t thinking anymore, only feeling. It was like molten lava ran through her veins as Spike’s hands pulled her top from her skirt and found the bare skin in between, his lips coming back to hers and taking her breath away all over again.

He wanted her, she could feel how much he really did and that in itself thrilled her beyond words. Nobody had ever wanted her this much, and she doubted they ever would again. She didn’t just want him, she needed him, needed what he was doing to her, wished it’d go on forever.

Clothes slowly slipped away, as they moved together, lips and hands discovering each others bodies in beautiful detail as he began to make love to her, real romance novel love, movies love, pure and passionate love, despite the fact those three little words were never spoken and the couple were not even that, just a pair of almost perfect strangers.

What would happen next was anybody’s guess, and right in that moment neither Spike nor Buffy cared. They were connected on so many levels as he moved inside her, looking deep into her eyes as he did so. In his gaze she saw passion, pure want for her alone, and as long as she lived she’d never forget that look, the feeling that went with it, and the passionate emotions it seemed only this man could evoke inside her.

Chapter 2

Buffy groaned as she woke up the next morning. It felt as if a samba band had set themselves up inside her head, using the interior of her skull to play on. She should have known better she realised, drinking like she had last night always led to bad hang-over-ness in the morning. Not that Buffy made a habit of drinking so much but last night had been... she frowned as she realised she couldn’t entirely remember what had happened last night. She shifted her body in the bed and realised with some horror that she was naked. That was not normal, she thought, and neither was finding a man in the bed next to her that was not her husband!

"Oh God" she groaned silently not wanting to wake the bleached blond that lay beside her sleeping soundly still. She opened one eye to look at him again, and a million thoughts and feelings flowed through her as she began to remember last nights events. Nobody had ever wanted her like Spike had, nobody had ever made her feel so very alive. Angel never had, not even back when she was younger and believed herself to be in love with him.

With a sigh, Buffy manoeuvred herself out of the bed, careful not to disturb Spike. She found her clothes spread around the room where they had been thrown in the heat of passion. She wriggled into them, trying to remember if she had a purse with her or possibly a jacket. Her eyes passed by the clock on the stand by the bed. She cursed as she realised she was going to be late if she didn’t hurry and with one final long look at the beautiful face of the man who’d made her feel so good, she let herself out of the room and ran down to the street.

Buffy was too hell-bent on getting home on time to be sad or happy about anything that happened last night. Long ago she’d realised there were things that mattered more than your own happiness, it was just last night that she seemed to have forgotten. A man whom she knew only by the nick-name of Spike had taken her to heaven and back, and that she would never forget as long as she lived, though she’d never see the guy again. He was headed back to England today, he had said, and so it was over. That was probably for the best Buffy realised, thinking no doubt the alcohol and such had made her time with him seem more special than it should’ve. It couldn’t have been as amazing as she remembered, it just wasn’t possible, or so she told herself. If it were true, she’d just left behind one incredible man that she was never going to see again, and that would make her crazier than anyone else in the world ever.

With a heavy sigh, Buffy let herself into the building where she lived and trudged up the three flights of stairs without stopping at the elevator. It was Out Of Order so often there was very little point in even trying it. The blonde stopped in the last stairwell, digging in her purse for a mirror. She made a face at the less than good-looking reflection and attempted to make herself look semi-presentable.

Buffy painted a smile on her face and knocked on her neighbours door.

"Buffy, hi" Jenny greeted her friend, letting her into the apartment.

"Thanks so much for doing this, Jenny" the blonde said gratefully, "I couldn’t really let Will and Xander down and Angel was... kinda busy" she lied.

"Honestly, Buffy, it’s fine" Jenny assured her, "Everybody needs to have some fun once in a while, maybe a few drinks. Even mothers"

Buffy smiled at her friends kindness, and whilst she agreed with what she was saying in principal she was starting to feel awfully guilty. Jenny thought she’d had an innocent night out, had a few drinks, gone home to bed and come around here next morning to pick up her little boy, all innocent as can be. If she knew she was technically an adulteress, she might not be so fast to defend her, despite the fact she’d never been Angel’s biggest fan.

"Mommy!" a little voice yelled, breaking Buffy’s train of thought.

"There’s my boy" she grinned as she crouched down to the six year olds level and he barrelled into her arms, "You have a nice time with Aunt Jenny, Michael?" she asked as she hugged her son.

"Uh-huh" he nodded, grinning widely, "We watched cartoons and then Aunt Jenny read me a story before I went to sleep" he enthused, "and then I had pancakes for breakfast for when I got up"

"Sounds good" Buffy smiled genuinely at last.

Michael meant so much to her, more than anything else in the whole world, including her husband and herself. A part of her was feeling wretched right now for leaving him with Jenny whilst she had the most amazing sex of her life with a complete stranger, but it wasn’t as if her boy had come to anymore harm than he would have if she’d stayed at the party and gone home to her own bed.

"Come on, starshine" she smiled once again, picking her son up from the floor, "Let’s get you home"

"You’re not gonna stay and tell me about the party?" Jenny frowned as she handed Buffy the bag with Michael’s pyjamas and things in.

"Not much to tell" the blonde shrugged, "Besides I should get moving, the apartment needs cleaning and then there’s laundry and shopping"

"You work too hard, Buffy" her friend said seriously, a hand on her arm to prevent her leaving until she’d finished speaking, "You should talk to Angel, he needs to be helping you with all this"

"Jenny" Buffy sighed, "I know you’re trying to help but, it’s okay. I can deal" she said a little unconvincingly as she went out of the door, "Thanks again for looking after Michael, I owe you one"

"Nonsense" Jenny said with a shake of her head, "It’s what friends are for"

The two women shared a final smile before Buffy carried her son down one flight of stairs to her own apartment.

"Mommy?" Michael whined as she put him down on the ground and searched for her keys, "Is Daddy in there?" he pointed at the front door, making a face.

"Of course" Buffy told him, "Where else would Daddy be?"

"How come even if he’s home I go see Aunt Jenny when you go out?" he asked next and Buffy felt sick. How did you tell a little boy that you don’t trust his father enough to leave them alone together? Not that she really believed Angel would harm Michael, at least she thought she believed it. He could be so cruel though, he wouldn’t have to even touch him in a physical sense. Angel could use just a harsh look and a few words to bring even her to tears sometimes, he could mentally screw up Michael all too easily, especially when he’d been drinking, and Buffy would not give him that oppurtunity.

"Daddy has stuff to do" she said, fumbling with her keys, hating knowing she was lying to her son, but she had very little choice. She could hardly tell the boy his father didn’t love him enough to play nice, she sometimes wondered if he loved him at all, although that was a theory she’d rather not dwell on.

Buffy wrinkled her nose at the smell of stale beer as she opened the door and Michael ran inside ahead of her. Semi-crushed cans littered the coffee table along with half-empty chip bags and a pizza box missing most of it’s contents.

"Hey, baby" Angel leered from the bedroom door and Buffy’s stomach turned over at the sight of him. It was crazy to think just a few years ago he was what she lived for. They were so much in love during High School, she always wanted to be Mrs Liam O’Reilly, and finally the day came when it happened. It wasn’t how Buffy had pictured it. Two days before her graduation she’d realised she was pregnant. At first Angel had been happy but resented the fact both his parents and Buffy’s mother thought they should be married before the child was born.

Back then she’d had no idea that he spoke his vows to her under protest, only later in one of their screaming, raging arguments had he admitted it. After Michael was born, his father doted on him right up until they left the hospital. A whole two days of family-type bliss before it became apparent things were not going to be that simple. In short, Angel was jealous of Michael, his own son. It was possibly the most ridiculous thing in the world, but it was the only explanation. Any time Buffy spent caring for her baby, Angel spent trying to distract her and then sulking when his attempts were made in vain. Sometimes he was nice to her and Michael, sometimes it was like having the old Angel back, but those times were few and far between, especially now.

"Michael, honey, why don’t you go to your room" Buffy told the boy, "Pick out a dvd and wait there for me, I’ll come watch with you for a while, okay?"

"Yay!" was the excited response she got as her son darted towards his bedroom, only to be intercepted by Angel.

"Hey Mikey" he grinned, reaching for the boy who dodged away and ran into his room.

"His name is Michael" Buffy snapped. He knew how much she hated his name being shortened in that way, she was almost certain that was the main reason he used it.

"You didn’t come home last night" was his only response he turned to look at her once again.

"I stayed at a friends" she replied, taking off her coat and hanging it on the hook behind the door, "I told you I might. Were you so drunk you don’t even remember?"

By the time she turned around again, Angel was right there in her face. His breath was enough evidence to prove how much alcohol he’d consumed, even if she hadn’t noticed the empty cans strewn about. He looked angry at first but his features softened eventually and he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I remembered" he told her, "I just missed you, baby" he told her, one hand running through her hair and the other down her body to her ass.

"Angel, don’t" she said, pushing him away, "Just, don’t"

She moved away from him, picking up some of the trash he’d left all over the place. It was times like this when she really questioned why she stayed with him, especially now as she thought of last night. Angel muttered something that sounded like ‘bitch’ before retreating back to the bedroom and slamming the door. Thankfully it seemed he was too drunk, tired, or a combination of both to bother starting an argument, but Buffy knew it’d come later. Most of the time her lack of want for him wasn’t an issue and she knew only too well why. At least whilst he was screwing other women he left her alone in that department.

She sighed as she took the pizza box and cans through to the kitchen, dumping them in a black bag for the trash. Her life felt as if it were barely worth living on days like these. She worked a five day week whilst Angel claimed so many sick days, Buffy knew if his boss wasn’t his cousin her lazy husband would have lost his job months, possibly years ago. He wasted what he earnt on himself, the beer he drank and cigarettes he sometimes smoked. Buffy was left to run the family home on the little she earned as a receptionist at a dental surgery. With all the things she needed to keep her son fed and clothed, she had no cash for luxuries and no time to spare as she spent most of the weekend cleaning and cooking and making time for her baby boy.

"Mommy!" aforementioned child called as he ran into the kitchen to find her, "Mommy, why are you crying?" he frowned when he found her sitting on the tiled floor in tears she’d barely noticed herself.

"It’s okay, sweetie" she promised her son, "Mommy’s fine, just being silly is all" she forced a smile as she wiped the dampness from her cheeks, "You picked out a dvd for us to watch?" she asked, getting up and washing her hands.

"Uh-huh" he said, proudly holding up his choice with a grin.

"Let’s go then" his mother smiled, following him back to his room where she put the disc into the machine, flipped on the TV and settled on the bed with Michael on her lap. Her eyes didn’t take in the cartoon, her brain certainly didn’t register any of it at all as her mind raced around in circles til she felt sick.

It was almost four years since her own mother had passed away. For months before that Joyce Summers had suffered with cancer, having told her daughter of her illness on the very day Buffy was going to explain about Angel’s change of character. The young girl as she was then, planned to ask if she could move back in with her mother, only to be told of Joyce’s dreadful illness. Buffy couldn’t impose, she had to support her mother, not add stress to her condition. When the illness finally took her, Buffy was left without a family to turn to, and no friends that could really help her. Nobody knew the extent to which Angel had altered. He was sweetness and light in company, or at least he had been til he stopped going anywhere with his wife.

At this point there was no escape. Buffy had little money, no family, and hardly any friends since most had been driven away by her husbands appalling behaviour. If there was just her to think of she might have made a run for it, anywhere she could afford, just to get away. Michael made the difference. She could bear to be unloved and badly treated by Angel, if it meant keeping her child safe and well.

Last night was supposed to be a release, one night of goodness to help her face the badness of everyday life. All it had done was prove to Buffy just how much she was missing, and showed her how awful her life had really become. Still, despite all this, she would not give up the memory of that special night for anything in the world.

To Be Continued...
 

Chapter 3

It was three weeks since Willow and Xander’s engagement party, and therefore three weeks since Buffy had spent one night making mad passionate love with a stranger she only knew as Spike. Since then she had spent a lot of time thinking about the mysterious Englishman who she would never see again, even when she knew there were much more important things that her mind should be on. However, today there was one less thing to worry about and that was Angel.

Though her husband was turning out to be possibly one of the worst men Buffy had ever met, his cousin was not similarly afflicted. Doyle was pleasant enough though perhaps a little too kind hearted towards the lazy and often unpleasant Angel. Buffy actually quite liked Doyle and was pleased for him when he announced his engagement to his girlfriend, Cordelia. With the wedding just around the corner, a weekend long bachelor party had been arranged in Las Vegas and the group of men had left together on Friday night.

Buffy was only too pleased to have two whole days without her husband. She rushed through the housework on Saturday morning with plans to spend much quality time with her son, Michael, and he was only too pleased to be taken to the park and get an ice-cream before heading home and playing half the board games he owned. By the time the child went to bed he was so tired he fell straight to sleep and Buffy wasn’t sure if she should feel guilty for being glad.

She curled up on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s finest that she’d treated herself too and watched a chick flick she would neither have time to watch usually or would normally dare to in front of her husband.

As the hero and heroine ran into each other arms, declaring love for each other and kissing deeply, Buffy felt ridiculous for feeling dampness on her cheeks. It was just a movie, she didn’t usually get teary about such things, especially when it was a nice happy ending. She knew why this was happening now, of course she did. She wanted to be in love like that again, she wanted to be worshipped by a man that she couldn’t get enough of. It had started out like that with Angel, but they were just kids then, and what she’d had with Spike, that was one night, and it wasn’t exactly love, she barely knew the man!

As the screen faded to black and the credits began to roll, Buffy turned off the TV and stared into the mostly empty ice-cream tub on the table, considering whether she wanted to eat the remaining melting contents or not. The decision was made for her by a knock on the door and she abandoned her comfort food to go and see who was there. Sliding the safety chain into place she prised open the door and peeked through the gap.

"Oh hello there" said an English voice and a very proper-looking gentleman smiled kindly at her, "I was looking for Joyce Carter" he told her, "I was directed here from Revello Drive"

"Hold on a sec" Buffy frowned, closing the door to take off the chain, and wondering why this man was on her doorstep and asking about her mother by her unmarried name years after she’d passed away.

"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously when she opened the door at last. She was fairly certain she’d never seen the man before not even in pictures, and if she had she was sure she’d remember the awful tweed suit and little glasses.

"Oh I’m terribly sorry, my name is Rupert Giles" he introduced himself, "And you are?" he asked.

"Buffy Summers, originally" the blonde replied, "I’m Joyce’s daughter but... she died"

"Oh good Lord" Mr Giles gasped, putting a hand to his head and looking as if he might pass out, cry, or possibly both, "No, she can’t... good God, how?" he needed to know.

"Come inside" Buffy said ushering him in, "Sit down before you fall down"

He did as she said and Buffy went to the drinks cabinet, pouring the man a brandy.

"Here, it’s good for shock" she told him as she handed him the glass and sat down on the couch opposite him, "Mr Giles, how did you know my mother?" she checked, thinking it must have been a very long time since he’d seen her since he didn’t even know she’d got married!

"It was a very long time ago" he confirmed, "We were just children really, I was over here as an exchange student and I met dear Joyce... it will sound quite strange to you I’m sure but I was a little wild in my youth" he smiled at memories of that time, "Joyce was quite attracted by it, or so it would seem. I suppose you might say we fell in love"

Buffy was quite taken aback to realise she was currently siting opposite one of her mother’s ex-boyfriends. Joyce had never spoken of dating anyone other than Buffy’s own father Hank, and he was hardly mentioned at all after the divorce when Buffy was just fifteen.

"You and Mom dated" she said with a strange smile, before a frown took it’s place, "How come you broke up?"

"Well, I had to go home to England" he explained, "Though I promised that as soon as the Summer break rolled around I’d be on the first flight back to California to see her" he explained, reaching into his back pocket and producing a wallet, from which came an old crumpled photograph that he stared longingly at before passing it to Buffy, "I can’t remember a happier time than those two short months I spent with my dearest Joyce"

Buffy looked at the picture, a younger version of her mother standing outside the old house with a young man at her side, his arm around her shoulders. He looked only vaguely like the man that sat here now, dressed in a T-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket, with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. As her eyes blurred with tears at the sight of her mother, Buffy could almost make the picture be herself and Spike.

"Was it recent that she... passed away?" a voice cut through her thoughts and she remembered where she was and what was happening.

"Fours years now, Mr Giles" she said sadly, handing his photo back to him.

"Oh please, it’s just Giles" he told her, "May I ask how she was taken from you?"

"Cancer" Buffy said, feeling the pain of losing her mother all over again. Giles hated himself for upsetting this young woman. He had no business pushing into her life like this, it wasn’t as if she even knew him.

"I’m so terribly sorry" he muttered standing up, "I should go, I should probably never have come..."

"Wait a second" Buffy called him back, "You must have had a reason for wanting to find her now" she realised, "Why didn’t you come back before?"

Giles sat down again and sighed.

"My own dear father passed away shortly after my return to England" he explained, "He was a rich man, owning several large businesses, the entirety of which he left to me. We had no other family you see and the loss of my father hit me very hard, as did the sudden responsibility thrust upon me"

"In all the tragedy and everything, you forgot about her?" Buffy asked and Giles shook his head.

"Oh no, absolutely not" he declared vehemently, "I could never forget her, I simply needed to get things in order before I returned" he explained, "I wrote to her, told her everything that had happened and waited for a reply. When one never came I tried several more times but still got no answer"

"That doesn’t make sense" Buffy frowned, "If you liked each other so much, why would she ignore your letters?" she asked not understanding at all. Her mother was not the kind of person to do that sort of thing, she would at least have the good grace to write back even if only to tell the guy it was over between them, she was sure.

"I have no idea" the man admitted, polishing his glasses on a handkerchief, "I simply assumed anything she had said she felt for me no longer existed, though it never stopped me from loving her. To this day Buffy, I can quite honestly say I still love her"

"I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to tell her" the blonde said honestly, thinking how much better things might have been if this pleasant enough man had returned to California a few years ago, after her parents divorce. It might’ve been okay to have a step-father like Giles.

"Yes, well" he smiled, "It is perhaps for the best. If we had found each other all those years ago she might never have married your father, and you would not be here now"

Buffy smiled at that.

"Guess not" she agreed, "Still, Mom might have been happier with you... she got divorced from my Dad when I was fifteen"

"Oh dear" Giles sympathised, "and then to be so ill"

"The divorce and the illness were almost four years apart so it wasn’t quite as tragic as it sounds" Buffy told him making Giles frown. He was doing some quick calculations in his mind and something wasn’t adding up.

"I hope you won’t think I’m prying when I ask this" he said eventually, "but what is your date of birth, my dear?"

"January 19th" she said wondering why he wanted to know, "1981"

"Good Lord" Giles gasped for about the seventh time since he’d arrived and Buffy didn’t understand what his problem was.

"What’s the big?" she checked, "My parents had been married a year and then I was born and..."

"I beg to differ" he cut in, "Indeed your mother was free and single when I met her... just ten months prior to your birth"

"What?" Buffy squeaked, looking at Giles as if he had three heads, "What are you saying?" she asked in a strangled voice, though she was fairly certain she knew what he meant she couldn’t believe it.

"There is a very great chance, Buffy, that your father is not your father at all" Giles said slowly, trying to take it in himself "and that I..."

"No" she interrupted, "No, no, no, no, you can’t be my... cos I had a father, a Dad, Hank Summers, he was married to my Mom and he was... but..." her mind went into overdrive and no sentence that spun in her head could make it out of her mouth in complete order. She had vague memories of scraps of arguments she’d overheard. Words she couldn’t understand spilling from her fathers lips so cruelly as her Mom sobbed and cried. Could it be true that she was actually the spawn of this man, Mr Rupert Giles, and not the guy she’d called Daddy all these years?

"Indeed Buffy, I know very well that I was your mothers only suitor whilst I was here" he explained, "I do believe I was the first she... was ever with" he said feeling a little embarrassed about what he was saying, "I’m sure you would be the first to agree your mother was not the sort of woman to cheat"

"Of course she wouldn’t..." Buffy shook her head absently, "but how can it be true, how can you and... I can’t take this in" she said, running her hands back through her hair and staring at the carpet as thoughts ran round her head so fast it was making her dizzy.

"Indeed, it is rather a shock" Giles agreed, "Not at all what I expected when I came here I assure you..."

"Mommy!" a little voice called suddenly as a small boy ran from the next room to Buffy.

"Michael, sweetheart, what are you doing you of bed?" she asked, lifting him onto her lap.

"I heard voices" he said, snuggling up to his mother and looking warily at Giles.

"I’m sorry, honey, we didn’t mean to wake you" she told her boy, kissing the top of his head, "This is my son" she said to Giles, "Michael, say hi to Mr Giles" she encouraged the boy, "He used to be friends with your Grandma Joyce"

"Hi" Michael said shyly, clinging to Buffy.

"Hello there" the Englishman smiled, realising that should it turn out to be true and that he really was Buffy’s father, the little boy in her arms might be his grandson.

Michael yawned then and his mother told him he should be back in bed. She excused herself to take him through to the bedroom but only got halfway there when Giles said he should go anyway, let her get some rest too.

"Are you staying around here long?" she asked, hugging Michael too her as she watched her possible father head for the front door.

"A few days, yes" he told her, "I wonder if I might, if you wouldn’t mind my visiting again at some point. It may be possible we have some things to discuss"

"Here" Buffy said, picking up a pen and paper from by the phone and handing in to him, "Write down a number for me and I might call you, okay?"

"Okay" Giles smiled, scribbling down his name, number, and the name of the hotel he was staying at, "It was very nice to meet you both" he said sincerely as he handed back the paper and pen and went towards the door once again.

As the door clicked shut behind him, Buffy sighed. It had turned out to be a very strange evening, she thought as she took a half-asleep Michael back to his room and put him to bed. She doubted very much that she herself would get any sleep at all tonight, as she wondered where her assumed father was right now, and if it had all been a lie. It could easily be true, she realised, for Giles to be lying, but there was no reason why he should, there was nothing he could possibly gain.

Tomorrow Buffy would check records, numbers and figures, work out once and for all who her real father was. If the paperwork didn’t add up to anything definite she’d be willing to go for a DNA test if she had to. After so many years of feeling alone, it might be nice to have a Dad again, one man in her life that she could actually trust.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 4

"Hank Summers" he said as he answered his cell phone to the ‘unknown caller’.

"Hi, it’s me" Buffy told him, wondering vaguely if he’d even know from her voice who she was. It was years since she’d seen him last and it was only by chance that he had the same number now as he had four years ago when Joyce passed away that she’d managed to get a hold of him.

"Buffy" he smiled, "Great to hear from you, sweetheart"

"Is it?" she asked him coldly, "Why’s that?"

"Oh baby, come on" Hank sighed, "I know I haven’t been the world greatest father but I have my reasons..."

"Is one of them because you’re not my father at all?" Buffy interrupted, wondering why she’d just blurted it out like that, she certainly hadn’t meant to. To be honest she wasn’t even going to call and ask like it but it seemed the fastest and most definite way of finding the truth. She was going to get him talking, work the conversation round to Giles’ visit and hope to get through the whole conversation without an argument or tears. Things had not gone according to plan when she heard Hank’s insincere voice and saw red, remembering how he’d abandoned her and her mother so long ago.

"I’m waiting for an answer?" she pressed, hating the waver in her own voice.

"Buffy, sweetheart, why would you say something like that?" he asked and she sighed as she sat down in the chair behind her.

"I met Rupert Giles yesterday" she explained, "He came looking for my Mom. When I told him what had happened and that I was her daughter, he started reminiscing about when he knew her over twenty years ago, and how he left her behind... nine months before I was born" she left the last sentence hanging, waiting for some kind of reaction from the man she’d called Dad all her life.

"You weren’t supposed to find out, he’s got no right coming back now" Hank muttered more to himself than to Buffy before finally saying something to her, "Sweetheart, Rupert Giles is not a good person, he’s a liar and a cheat and he used your mother badly"
"I didn’t ask for a character analysis" Buffy snapped, "I asked you if you were my father, or is it really him?" she asked again, starting out angry but phasing back into a little scared by the end of her question. This was a big deal after all, a large portion of her life could well have been a lie.

"In every way that matters, I am your Dad" Hank said at last, "but biologically, yes, Rupert Giles is your father"
Buffy dropped the phone then and it clattered against the coffee table before thumping onto the carpet. It had stunned her enough to know Giles might be her Dad, but to actually be told it was true by someone that she didn’t trust so much but still he was hardly likely to lie about this. It sounded as if it were painful for him to admit the truth, but Buffy had no idea why as she soon told him as she scrambled to pick the phone receiver back up.

"Why didn’t you tell me before?" she asked, feeling numb.

"Like I said, he used your mother" Hank repeated, "He used her and then he left promising to come back but he never did and..."

"His Dad died" Buffy interrupted, "He told me he wrote lots of times to explain but Mom never wrote back. That doesn’t sound like Mom to me so what happened? The truth Dad, please" she urged him, not thinking about the fact she was still calling him her father even though they were discussing the very fact that he wasn’t at all.

Hank was going to lie, though he’d never say that to her. He’d promised Joyce years ago he’d never let the truth out about this, but if Buffy already knew half of it and Giles was in town, what choice did he have? Besides he couldn’t hurt his ex-wife now, she was gone.

"Buffy, your mothers parents didn’t like Rupert Giles, they thought he was a bad influence on Joyce, and they were glad when he went away" he explained, "Then they realised the two of them had been closer than they thought, and Joyce was having his baby, that’s you sweetie"

"Go on" Buffy pressed when he paused for a second. She needed to know the whole story, she deserved to know it.

"I’d liked your mother for a long time, we went to school together and I worked part-time for her father, your grandpa Joe, but Joyce, she barely knew I was alive" he smiled sadly at the old memories, "Anyway, I overheard Joe on the phone to her about the baby. I asked him to tell me the whole story and he was glad to be able to share the burden. You just didn’t have kids without being married, Buffy, not back then"

"So you married her" Buffy filled in, "And Grandpa Joe and Grandma Helen kept Giles letters away from my Mom ’cause they liked you better?"

"Pretty much" Hank agreed, hating that the young woman he still saw as his little girl might be hurting right now. He’d caused her enough suffering as it was, and losing her mother had hit her hard. Now all this, finding out her family had lied to her since the day she was born, Hank couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling.

"You okay, honey?" he checked, "I’m so sorry we never told you but..."

"It’s okay" she interrupted, "I’m okay" she lied as a tear escaped down her cheek, "I have to go now"

"I know I wasn’t the best father in the world" Hank sighed, "but I did my best" he promised her, "It wasn’t easy knowing Joyce never loved me enough, but I loved her, and I still love you, baby" he swore.

"I love you too, Dad" she choked out, before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

It was then that Buffy began to cry, her face awash with a river of tears and she wasn’t even really sure what they were all for. It hurt that she’d been lied to and it was frustrating to know she couldn’t really confront anyone who had caused this pain. Her grandparents and her mother were dead. At least now she understood why her apparent father left her and her mother. He needed to be loved more than her mother could, and with her not being his natural daughter, why should he even care. He did care though, he still loved her and that made her cry too.

"Mommy, what’s wrong?" a little voice asked and Buffy tried to dry her cheeks with her hands as she glanced over at her son who’d just appeared from his bedroom.

"Come here, Michael" she said and he pelted into her arms so she could hug him tight, "I love you" she sobbed as she held him, "You’re my precious baby boy, and I would never lie to you"

"I know, Mommy" Michael nodded against her shoulder, "I love you too"

That only made Buffy cry harder and she was beginning to think she’d never stop when a knock on the door made her try at least. She blinked hard, sniffing into a tissue and trying to wipe her cheeks clean of salt water as she got up and went over to the door.

"Giles" she said a little startled to see him, especially after the recent revelation.

"I’m so sorry, Buffy" he apologised immediately, "I know I did say I would stay away until you called but I must head back to England quite early on Tuesday and I wasn’t certain I’d see you again if I didn’t come today" he explained, "I must know Buffy, whether or not you are indeed my daughter. I shall drive myself mad otherwise"

"It’s true" Buffy choked out as further tears welled in her eyes, "You’re my father"

"Oh good Lord" Giles gasped, polishing his glasses furiously on his handkerchief. Buffy let him into the apartment and they sat down, Michael on his mother’s knees.

"I must repeat that I had no idea of your existence until yesterday" Giles told his apparent daughter, "If I had I would..."

"I know" Buffy nodded, "My grandparents kept your letters from my Mom, they didn’t like you much back then"

The man nodded slowly.

"Yes, they were fairly hostile towards me" he agreed, "but then I suppose I was a little wild and Joyce was their only daughter..." he mumbled, trying to take it all in.

He’d been awake half the night and pacing the hotel room most of the morning, desperately racking his brains, trying to work out if it could be true and he could be the father of dear Joyce’s baby girl. He’d wanted to come and see Buffy again but had to-ed and fro-ed over the decision until he was dizzy, before finally deciding yes, he would come here again. Now he was glad he had, though a little stunned by the stream of revelations he was hearing.

"My Dad... er, Hank" Buffy went on to say, "He always liked my Mom, and when you left and she realised she was pregnant with me, he offered to marry her. I guess I see now why Mom wanted me to marry Angel so bad" she said with a thoughtful expression. Giles shook his head out of a daze and looked strangely at her.

"Angel?" he echoed, "Your husband, I presume?"

"Yeah, Michael’s father" she nodded and the boy on her lap snuggled closer to her.

"My Daddy’s mean" he mumbled, putting his thumb in his mouth until Buffy reminded him that big boys don’t do that.

"Oh dear" Giles replied to the child, looking at Buffy who glanced away.

"He’s okay" she shook her head, "Angel would never hurt us, he’s just... it’s complicated" she said vaguely and Giles didn’t like what he was hearing, or rather what he was not hearing. This young woman was apparently his daughter and the child on her knees was his grandson. It sounded as if his son-in-law was not all he should be and that made Giles worry. Still, before he panicked over Buffy’s marital status he wanted to get to know her better.

"Buffy, my dear, do you think I might get to know you better?" he asked, "I understand this has all come as a terrible shock to you, I must say it was quite a surprise for me also" he admitted, "but we are family, that much is apparent. Even if I cannot be a father to you, could we at least try to be friends do you think?"

The blonde seemed to consider it for a moment before looking warily at him. She didn’t like the way he reacted to what Michael said about Angel. It was nobody’s business but hers what happened in her marriage, least of all a father she didn’t know about until a few minutes ago.

"I don’t know" she said eventually, "This is all too much, too fast" she shook her head, "I don’t know if I need another friend, or another father, I just..."

She was interrupted by banging and crashing on the other side of the front door before it finally swung open and thumped against the wall loudly.

"Angel" Buffy said quietly to herself, closing her eyes and wishing him away. This was all she needed right now.

"Hey, Daddy’s home!" he exclaimed, laughing almost maniacally.

"Go to your room, Michael" Buffy muttered, dropping the little boy down off her lap and watching him scuttle away, "Angel, what are you doing here?" she asked him angrily as he slammed the door shut and made the whole apartment shake.

"Hey, there’s my girl" her husband slurred, leaning on her as she came towards him, "Vegas was a bust, baby. Couple of the guys got arrested for pickin’ up hookers, me and Doyle had to run for it" he laughed once again and Buffy had never been so embarrassed as Giles watched the scene with distaste.

"You’re drunk" Buffy said pushing him away, "Why don’t you go sleep it off" she advised, shoving him towards the bedroom.

Finally it seemed Angel noticed Giles.

"Who’s this?" he asked nastily, looking daggers at his wife, "While the cats away, huh?"

"You’re sick and pathetic" Buffy told him as she continued to manoeuvre him towards the bedroom, "I’m the last person who would lie and cheat, despite the fact nobody would blame me if I did" she snapped, "Stay there til you’re sober" she muttered, as he fell through the door and landed on the bed, almost asleep already, he was so damn drunk. Buffy closed the door and turned to Giles with a sigh.

"I think you should go" she told him as he got up and she ushered him towards the front door, just wanting this whole thing to be over.

"Buffy, my dear, I will leave if you wish it, but please give me a chance to see you again tomorrow?" he almost begged of her, "I’m headed back to England very early on Tuesday, and I understand that perhaps you’re glad for it but I..."

"I’ll come and find you, at the hotel, tomorrow" she promised in a whisper as they got to the door, "I don’t know what time but... I’ll come say goodbye"

"Thankyou" Giles smiled, though he’d much rather the situation were different, that he didn’t have to say goodbye so soon to the daughter and indeed the grandson he’d just discovered.

When Buffy finally shut the door on her new father, she was already dreading how the rest of the day would go with Angel now drunk and soon to be hung-over. Then there was tomorrow, and she must find an excuse to go out and see Giles, that’d be a headache in itself, but she’d do it, she had to.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 5

Straight after breakfast the next morning, Buffy sent Michael to put on his shoes and coat whilst she tidied the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher. Angel was still unconscious on the bed due to the copious amounts of alcohol he’d consumed the last couple of days and nights in Vegas, and Buffy had slept on the couch to avoid disturbing him. She couldn’t face a fight right now, didn’t want to blurt out something she’d regret later. Her head was filled with thoughts of two different Englishmen and for two very different reasons. Seeing Angel in this state only served to remind her of how different things might’ve been if she’d not married him, if she was free and single still. She might have run to England with her one night stand just for the hell of it, but she couldn’t as things stood. She didn’t regret having Michael, not ever, but she regretted marrying Angel almost daily.

Then there was her father, not Hank like she’d always thought, but a Mr Rupert Giles whom up until two days ago she didn’t even know existed. Now she was rushing around, getting herself and Michael ready to go and see him, to say goodbye. In all honesty Buffy wasn’t sure why she was bothering. It wasn’t as if he’d been a Dad to her, she didn’t know him at all, but knowing he meant so much to her mother was enough to make her like him, trust him even, without question.

"Ready, Mommy!" Michael called as he came back from his bedroom, shoes and coat on, all ready to leave.

"Ssh, sweetheart" Buffy hushed him, crouching down to his level to check everything he wore was properly fastened, "We don’t want to wake Daddy, do we?"

"Uh-uh" Michael said softly, shaking his head as he peered back at his parents bedroom door. The poor boy was scared of his own father, Buffy could see it in his eyes sometimes. Truth was, there were times that Angel even scared her, though she’d never let him know it.

Mother and son left the apartment and began their journey to the hotel where Giles was staying. The whole way Buffy wondered what she was going to say when she got there, whether she could commit to promising they’d visit England or allow him to say he’d come see her again. It had all happened so fast, and so unexpectantly, she had trouble knowing which way was up!

"Well, here goes nothing" she said to herself as she went into the hotel, her little boy’s hand held tightly in hers. They walked up to the desk and spoke to the assistant who called to Giles’ room and told him they were there. Buffy felt ridiculously out of place and very under-dressed standing there in the reception area of a fancy hotel like this. Michael seemed to be awe of the ornate furnishings and chandeliers, the like of which he’d never seen before. Buffy could barely afford her life as it was, fancy places like this were so out of her league.

"Buffy" Giles smiled as he came down the stairs to meet them, "and Michael too"

"Hi" the blonde smiled as her son ducked behind her legs and hid, "Come on, sweetie, you remember Mr Giles from yesterday"

"Hello, young man" her father smiled as he crouched down to the boys level, "How would you and your mother like to come with me to the park?"

"Can we Mommy?" Michael asked Buffy hopefully.

"I guess it’d be a good place to talk..." she said glancing at Giles then her son, "Sure, we can go"

"Yay!" the little boy bounced up and down with excitement as the little family headed out.

"Look Mommy!" Michael shrieked as spun around and around on the roundabout with the other kids.

Buffy smiled and waved to him as she sat on the bench with Giles.

"He’s a lovely boy, Buffy" he told her, "Joyce must’ve been so proud"

"She was" she nodded, feeling ridiculously tearful, "Things might’ve been so different if she’d have known you loved her" she realised as she glanced at the man she must learn to accept as her father.

"Indeed" Giles agreed, swallowing hard, desperate not to make himself look like an idiot by crying over the loss of one he loved for so long, "Buffy, I would so much like to know you better" he told her, repeating words he’d spoken yesterday, before Angel had so rudely interrupted the meeting.

"I kinda think I’d like to know you better too" she agreed, "but it’s impossible. We live a whole ocean apart, we barely know each other, and... my life is complicated enough without one more thing to worry about"

"Oh I would not wish to be a burden" Giles assured her, "Quite the contrary in fact"

"What do you mean by that?" Buffy frowned, as she turned to look at him properly. Her father looked down at his hands, apparently unsure about his next move. A moment later he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a small book.

"Two days ago, when we made the discovery that I was your father" he began, "Buffy, I’ve never felt so many different things and all at once, I was quite shocked and yet so elated to know there was someone... someone to show that Joyce and I were happy once" he sighed, "In part, I blame myself for not being a part of your life. If I had made more of an effort to contact your mother, come back to America..."

"It’s okay" Buffy found herself saying as she put her hand on his, "I don’t blame you, I really don’t blame anyone. It’s in the past, it’s not important now"

"Perhaps you can let it go, but I cannot" Giles told her with a shake of his head, "I have missed so much and I really am at a loss as to know how to make it up to you, and indeed Michael. Buffy, please do not be offended, but this is the only way I can think of to prove my sincerest apology for never knowing you"

With that he handed her the book he’d been holding in his hands and Buffy looked at it strangely before opening it up.

"What is this?" she asked, unable to believe her eyes. The book was for a savings account in her name and the amount of zeros that featured in the amount within it made her eyes go wide as serving dishes.

"As I say, I don’t wish to offend you" Giles repeated, "I do not suppose for a moment that you cannot look after yourself, but if you would, call this back-dated birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, anything you should’ve had as a child and didn’t..."

"I don’t... I can’t take this" Buffy told him, though her eyes were still fixed on the numbers before her. Her existing savings account, the one she and Angel shared was mostly over-drawn, and it was all she could do to put a little aside for Michael’s future.

"I understand, you feel I am trying to buy your affections" Giles said, glancing away, "but I assure you Buffy, that is not the case. I have no-one to share my wealth with, no wife or other children. I cannot turn back the clock and be the father and grandfather I ought to have been. This is all I can do" he explained, "At least I know I might be helping, if not for you now then perhaps for Michael’s future. I need to know I have tried to do something for you, Buffy"

"I don’t know what to say" the blonde admitted. This would simple things up so much, to have money of her own that Angel knew nothing of. She could buy things for Michael, save some for his future, and if it all got too much with her husband, she had a means of escape. Still, could she really take money from this random guy she only met two days ago? Bearing in mind they were almost one hundred percent certain he was her father, it wouldn’t be entirely inappropriate.

"I don’t need you to say anything really" Giles told her, daring to take her hand in his, "I only ask that perhaps you could keep in touch?" he suggested, pulling a small piece of paper from his pocket, "If it makes you uncomfortable I understand but..."

"I’ll keep in touch" she promised tearfully taking the paper from his hand. She managed a smile that only grew when she heard Michael’s joyful laughter as one of his friends pushed him on the swings.

"You look very like your mother you know" Giles told Buffy, "When you smile like that"

"Thank you" she replied softly, glad to know she possessed some of her mother’s beauty, and that in some strange way her memory would live on in her.

She glanced down at her watch and her smile turned to a frown.

"We should really go" she realised and Giles looked disappointed.

"Really? So soon? I was hoping to spend a little more time getting to know you" he told her.

"I’m sorry" Buffy apologised as she got up, "That would’ve been great but... I should be home when Angel wakes up" she said, looking away, knowing she’d get some disapproving look from him that she got from everybody. Nobody understood why she stayed with him anymore.

Buffy fetched her son and told him to say goodbye to Mr Giles which he dutifully did, before the two adults turned to each other.

"I am so happy to have met you, Buffy" he said sincerely. She wasn’t sure how to reply and so decided just to hug him briefly. When they pulled apart there were tears in both their eyes.

"One chance event" he smiled fondly, "My last night in America... it is hard to believe that one single night led to this, my having such a beautiful daughter and grandson" he looked fondly on the two of them one last time before Buffy said a final goodbye and walked away, turning back at the park gates to wave and have Michael do the same.

Tears crept down her cheeks as they headed for home and she fought to control herself. If Angel saw her crying he’d want an explanation and that she wasn’t prepared to give. She managed a smile as she replayed Giles’ words, about her being his beautiful daughter. Compliments were few and far between in her life of late, the only other genuine one she could recall recently was from Spike, almost a month ago. He’d said she was beautiful too, and he’d certainly made her feel that way when he made love to her. One single night but it had meant a great deal to Buffy.

One single night, the simple phrase echoed in her mind and she heard Giles voice inside her head.

"Oh God" she gasped, suddenly stopping walking and almost tripping over her son.

"Mommy?" Michael said, looking up at her, "Why did we stop?"

Buffy shook her head, finding it impossible to give a verbal answer right now. She did a mental calculation and suddenly felt very faint.

"Come on, sweetie" she forced a smile as she tugged on Michael’s hand and they went back up the street and crossed the road.

With a sigh Buffy took her son with her to the drugstore, praying to God she’d made a mistake, but seriously wondering if she could possibly be pregnant with the child of a man she’d met only once.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 6

It should’ve felt right to be back in England, but despite the fact Giles had been home for a week he still felt out of synch with his surroundings. His mind constantly drifted back to America, to memories of time spent with Joyce Carter so many years ago, and then to thoughts of his new-found daughter and grandson.

It was insane to think he was a father, the very idea of it amused him since he was such a confirmed old bachelor these days. There had been one or two women in his life over the years, but in his heart, Giles had always loved Joyce and no-one else would ever mean as much to him. To think that in their one and only night of passion they had made a child and that little girl had grown into such a beautiful young woman with her baby of her own. So many times he drifted off into a daze as he went over it all in his mind.

Some might say he was a silly old fool, handing over his money as he had without any actual proof or solid evidence that Buffy was in fact his daughter. Still, Giles knew it, when she smiled she looked just like her mother, just like dear Joyce. The mathematics proved the rest since he knew he was the first man to be with her, she hadn’t lied, he would’ve known. She had married Hank Summers, passed Buffy off as their daughter and carried on for over fifteen years until finally they had divorced.

In some ways Giles was glad of that, to think that Joyce was not happy enough to remain married to her husband, meant perhaps her feelings for he himself had never fully gone away. However, the Englishman could not be entirely pleased about his former lovers parting with her husband. She must have been unhappy in her marriage, and he could not bear to think of her suffering. The illness she went through, the way Buffy must have agonised over her mother’s journey towards imminent death. Giles close his eyes and tried to push the painful thoughts away as he poured himself another scotch and downed it fast.

He rarely drank to excess, just the occasional shot in times of stress or to aid his sleep or health. These past few days he’d found a great deal of alcohol had passed his lips, an aid to the pain and guilt he felt. When he arrived home from a busy day he found he could spend many hours just sitting and drinking, recalling the past and considering the future until some sound or movement would pull him back to reality. One night it had been a thunderstorm, another the telephone. Today it was a knock at his door, something rather strange when one considered it was past midnight and his was the only house for several miles.

Cautiously he put down his drink and got up from the couch. A man with a great fortune as he was, he was a target for thieves and untrustworthy people. He paused by the fireplace to pick up the poker that stood there as he went by to the door. A second knock was heard before near silence returned, save for the pitter patter of rain on the windows.

When Giles finally cracked open the door he couldn’t believe his eyes.

"Good heavens" he gasped, pushing the door wide open and throwing the poker aside as he realised the people looking back at him were no threat at all.

The young blonde held her child close to her, pushing her rain soaked hair from her face and glancing between her luggage and the man before her.

"Hey... Dad" Buffy smiled uncertainly, "Can we come in?"

"Thank you" Buffy said gratefully a she took the steaming mug of cocoa from her father and held it with both hands in an attempt to warm her fingers. Michael had been dried off and put to bed in one of the spare rooms. The poor boy was dead on his feet and only too glad to rest when offered the chance. Buffy herself had changed her clothes and attempted to towel dry her hair as she curled up by the fire in Giles’ living room. He’d offered her a hot drink and now here they were, sitting opposite each others with mugs in their hands and it was time for some sort of explanation.

"I am of course exceptionally glad to see you, Buffy..." her father began.

"But you kinda want to know how come we just showed up on your doorstep in the middle of the night" she finished for him, putting her mug down on the table, "I know I’ve got a lot of nerve just showing up like this" she sighed, "I just, I didn’t know what else to do" she admitted as tears came to her eyes. Giles heart went out to her and he put down his own drink, reaching to put his hand on her arm.

"In your own time, my dear" he said softly, "Tell me what has happened"

"It started the day you left" she sniffed, determined not to make her fool of herself by crying, "Something you said got me thinking. How you and my Mom were only... together one time"

"It is the truth" Giles nodded not yet understanding.

"I... things with Angel are awkward" Buffy went on to explain, looking down at her feet, "I married him for Michael’s sake, because my Mom and his parents thought we should. I was young and I thought I was in love... it just didn’t work out how I thought" she shook her head, glancing at Giles and then back down at the pattern in the carpet, "We weren’t happy, either of us. He was always ridiculously jealous of Michael and the attention I had to show him. He was just a child, it wasn’t his fault, but Angel would get angry, worse when he was drunk. He didn’t want us around most of the time and when he did want me I... I couldn’t bear him near me anymore" she shuddered at the very thought.

"You’ve left him?" Giles checked and Buffy nodded slowly.

"I had to" she explained, looking up at him, "I said it started the day you left... that’s not entirely true" she admitted, "It started before that, three weeks before, with another guy..."

She looked away again, guilt taking over as well as embarrassment about what she was saying and to whom.

"I’m not proud of myself" she told the chair more than her Dad, "and I didn’t mean for it to happen but... I guess you could say I had an affair"

"Oh" was all Giles could find to say for several moments as he tried to work out how best to continue, "This other man, how long have you known him?"

Buffy laughed at that but there was no humour in it, only pain.

"I don’t know him" she chuckled, her laughter fast turning into sobs, "I met him once, in a bar. I was supposed to be at a party for my friends’ engagement but I wasn’t in the mood. We got talking, me and this guy, we had a few drinks and... and..."

"And one thing led to another?" Giles guessed.

Buffy nodded silently, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"It sounds so pathetic I know but, it was the best night of my entire life" she admitted with a sad smile, "Nobody ever wanted me like that. I never felt so... alive"

There was a long moment of silent pause when neither father nor daughter knew what best to say next. Though Giles’ was curious to know how this one night a month ago had led to Buffy leaving her husband and coming here, and she in turn wanted to tell all, neither could find the words for a long while. They didn’t know each other as well as parent and child should, still the conversation soon began again.

"I thought I could forget him" Buffy said softly, "He was on vacation and that was his last night, I figured it wouldn’t matter I could just put him out of my head and get on with my life" she sighed, "I almost managed it, least I think I maybe could have, except a part of him never left at all"

"Buffy...?" Giles looked at her questioningly, wondering if a theory forming in his head was indeed correct.

"I’m pregnant" she confirmed, her voice wavering as she confessed, "I realised after what you said that I might be, it only takes one time and... I knew I could never get rid of it, it’s a part of me and I couldn’t have done that" she cried, "If Angel found out, my God I really think he might’ve killed me" she sobbed and Giles moved to sit on the arm of her chair, pulling her into a hug as tears poured from her eyes.

"Oh my dear girl" he said, feeling tearful himself as he took her in his arms and held her tight.

What a mess Buffy had got herself into, Giles was only glad he was here to bring her some help and comfort now. If he had not found her by accident more than design, he didn’t like to think what might have become of the poor girl. As she said herself, her husband would have reacted badly to her news and even from the short amount of time Giles had seen Angel, he was almost certain she was not exaggerating much in presuming he might attempt homicide.

"I’m sorry" Buffy sniffed, pulling out of her father’s arms, "You probably didn’t expect all this when you met me"

"Indeed" Giles agreed with her, "but Buffy, the fact remains that I am your father, and whatever assistance you need, I intend to give it as best I can"

"You don’t even know me" she pointed out but he seemed unfazed by the fact.

"You are mistaken, Buffy" he smiled fondly at her, "You are your mother’s daughter as well as mine, in looks and more. I feel I know you already, and I hope to know you even better if you will allow it"

"I don’t deserve you being nice to me" she sniffed some more, wiping her face on the back of her hand until Giles offered her a handkerchief.

"Buffy, whilst I do not know exactly what your life with Angel entailed" he said carefully, "If he made you as unhappy as it seems he did, you had every right to want to leave him"

The blonde nodded absently as she tried to stay calm. She picked up her drink from the table and took a few more sips, finding it was cool enough to manage now without burning her tongue.

"Does he know where you have gone?" Giles asked her and she shook her head.

"Nobody does" she admitted, "I didn’t want my friends to have to lie if he asked them... if he even bothers to ask" she said sadly, staring into her mug, "I know he doesn’t love me anymore, just the same as I don’t love him. I tried to still care about him but he made it impossible"

"Some people find it too difficult to be loved and to love others as they deserve" her father told her, "You are not to blame for that"

"I know" Buffy nodded, "but I hate that I made myself as bad as he is. He cheats on me, I know he does. He thinks he hides it but..." she laughed humourlessly, "I hid mine, he had no idea I’d spent the night with another guy. I don’t think he cared enough to notice"

"Then I don’t suppose he deserves you" Giles told her, a comforting hand on her shoulder that she appreciated right now.

"I left a note" she told him, finishing off her cocoa, "I waited til he drank so much he passed out again. I left the note on the table and dragged the suitcases out from where I hid them - under Michael’s bed, he never goes in his son’s room. Then we ran for the airport, didn’t look back once. I spent a lot of your money" she said guiltily as she looked up at her father, "You said it was for the future, mine and Michael’s. I want our future to be here, if that’s okay"

Giles could hardly believe what he was hearing. For a week he’d done nothing but wish he could be spending time with is new-found daughter and her son. He was mentally planning when he might get away, visit America again. Now here were the very people he longed to spend his time with, and Buffy was asking of they might stay indefinitely.

"Buffy, I..." he began only to have her interrupt.

"I know it’s more complicated than just us staying" she admitted, "There’s a whole paperwork issue and everything if we really want to stay here for good and I don’t expect to live off you forever, I mean I’ll get a job and everything..."

"Calm down, Buffy" Giles told her with an amused smile. He’d never known a woman who could get quite so many words into one long sentence without pausing for breath, except perhaps for a young lady named Joyce Carter...

"Of course you can stay here, for as long as you wish it" he told his daughter, "I’ll be happy to have you and Michael, and indeed your new child, share my home"

"Thank you so much" Buffy cried happier tears this time as she reached to hug her father. She was just so glad to have found him.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 7

One month. Buffy could barely believe it’d been that long since she’d left California with her son and arrived on her real father’s doorstep, and yet so much had happened. Giles was so great, he’d taken them in without question and promised to do anything he could for them both. Michael had adjusted without any problems, since he had very few friends to speak of in Sunnydale and his father treated him badly, if he even paid attention to him at all. In England, Michael found new friends as soon as he started at the local school, children of course were always intrigued by the new kid, especially since he had an accent and everything. Buffy loved to see him come running from the gates into her arms, smiling and chatting animatedly about what he’d done all day.

Buffy herself was glad to spend time with Giles, getting to know him better. He insisted she did not have to worry about getting a job just yet since he had much more money that he needed and was happy to look after her for a while. He was careful not to offend her, and insisted it was not an attempt to buy her affections, which she completely understood. She was so grateful for all he was doing, and so thrilled when they found out for definite that he was her Dad.

In order for Buffy and Michael to be allowed to stay in the country, real proof had to be given that she was Giles’ daughter and so a DNA test was arranged. As certain as they were of their connection, it was a great relief to actually hear a genuine positive result from the doctor. With a richEnglish father willing to support her and her child, Buffy was accepted into Britain with no problems at all, and the paperwork was duly signed and stamped.

As much as she liked the idea of being a lady of leisure in some ways, Buffy found she needed to keep herself active. She would clean the house and cook meals for Giles whilst he was out at work even when he insisted she didn’t have to. After a while she realised it might be good for her to get a job, just during the hours Michael was in school perhaps, but she really wasn’t qualified for anything. It had been on her mind a few days, most especially today as she scrubbed inside the oven for something to do. Music blared from the stereo to make the task of cleaning a little more fun, but with the heavy beat and her head inside the oven, she didn’t hear Giles come up behind her until the music suddenly disappeared.

"Oh, hey" she smiled when she turned and found him behind her, hand still at the stereo where he’d turned it off, "You don’t like my taste in music, huh?

"No, that wasn’t why I switched it off" Giles assured her, "I simply wanted to get your attention without startling you" he explained.

"Attention got with lack of startle-age" she nodded as she got to her feet, "What in particular did you need me for?"

"Buffy, really" he sighed, "As I have said on countless occasions you musn’t feel you have to do all this cleaning and so forth"

"Giles, we talked about this" she reminded him.

As a rule she didn’t call him Dad, it still felt a little strange and he quite understood. She therefore called him by his last name much as everyone else did, and only very occasionally had any affectionate father-type terms passed her lips. Michael had quite taken to calling him Grandpa Giles though and that pleased him greatly.

"Indeed we have discussed your obsession with the housework before" he agreed as Buffy pulled off the gloves she’d been wearing to clean the oven and tidied up some of the mess she’d made, "I know you’d like to have a job Buffy, and that my just giving you something to do would not be satisfying for you. You’re a bright young woman, my dear, and as we both know quite capable of doing a great many things"

"Is this little pep talk gonna get pointy anytime soon?" she asked, with a slight frown. So far her father was not making a huge amount of sense.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I did have a point" Giles nodded, handing her some leaflets from the top of the pile of books and paper under his arm.

"Classes?" Buffy realised, "For the mature student?"

"Yes, some are in the evenings, but others are during school hours for mothers like yourself" Giles explained, gesturing to a couple of the booklets in her hands, "I thought perhaps there would be something you’d like to study, get a qualification in. It may perhaps lead you to getting the sort of job you deserve" he suggested, a little worried that she’d hate the idea. It had seemed like such a capital plan at first, but Giles found the closer he got to the house, the more worried he became that Buffy would throw these leaflets back in his face and tell him he was being ridiculous in suggesting such a thing. The smile on her face was a great relief to him.

"Giles, that is such a great idea" Buffy told him, though her grin slipped a little as she thought about it, "This learning thing would require cash though and I don’t know if I could..."

"Buffy, you know I’m quite happy to pay for you to do this, if it’s something you really want" her father assured her, "and I don’t wish to hear any talk of your not being worth it, or some such rubbish. You are my daughter, Buffy, and I will spoil you if I wish it" he told her firmly, but with a smile.

"Then thankyou" she smiled back, reaching up to hug him and kiss his cheek, "You are a great father" she told him sincerely and he felt ridiculously emotional at her words. Buffy, having realised what she’d said, was quick to leave the room, feeling a little teary herself, though she put some of that down to her pregnancy.

It was almost two months since the child was conceived and Buffy had been to the doctors just once to confirm it. Another month and she’d start to show, be forced to accept the fact she was going to be a mother to two children instead of just the one. She hadn’t told Michael yet, after all nothing was certain with pregnancies, all kind of things could happen and until she was past the three month stage she didn’t want to risk it. Michael would get so upset if, heaven forbid, she lost the baby. That was strange to Buffy, how the thought of losing this child filled her with dread. It was far from a perfect scenario, having the baby of some random guy you only met and slept with once, but the baby that grew inside her was a part of her, in more than one way. The thought had crossed her mind that Spike could be within a few miles of where she stood right now. She was in England after all, and so was he, though she knew the chances of them running into each other again were approximately zero, she couldn’t help but wonder about it sometimes.

In daydreams, and sometimes those when she slept, she saw him, her one night stand that had meant so much more than he ought to have done. He’d show up on the doorstep, with a story of how he’d tracked her down, fought through hell and high water to be at her side. She’d fall into his arms and they’d kiss passionately, stagger back into the bedroom and... Well, it didn’t always go that way, sometimes she bumped into him in the street, they’d go back to his apartment somewhere, he’d tell her he couldn’t stop thinking about her, that somehow he’d fallen in love with her, and when he kissed her it was fireworks and molten lava as they stumbled towards the bedroom and... Okay, so there was a recurring theme of the bed variety, but what else did Buffy really know about this guy, other than his skills in that department? That and his looks were enough to make her wish she really could meet him again but she knew it was hardly practical.

Spike was exactly what he seemed to be, just a daydream. Yes, that daydream had come true one night, but now normal programming had been resumed and he lived only in her mind and fantasies. The baby she was having was hers alone, no-one elses, and her life would go on without a man in it, not counting her father and son of course because that was a different thing entirely.

Right now, she didn’t need romance, Buffy realised as she sat on the cushioned seat in the bay window at the back of the house, looking out at the spectacular view of open fields and trees. The sky was a perfect shade of blue and Buffy mentally kicked herself for realising it was the same colour as Spike’s eyes, almost exactly. It was strange but that was one thing she remembered most clearly about him, the intense look in his eyes as he’d taken her to the dizzy heights of passion that she knew she’d never reached with anyone else before or would again.

"Less day-dreaming, more reading" she told herself as she opened up the leaflets Giles had given her and read about various courses she could take at a number of locations in the area. The English programmes caught her eye in particular. In High School she’d enjoyed studying plays and poems and such, and though she didn’t excel at it as much as she’d like to have done, she really got into it in a big way for a while. Angel soon distracted her from any kind of study and thoughts of possibly taking English as her major in college flew out of the window the day she found herself pregnant with his child. Though Buffy never regretted having Michael, not once, she did sometimes regret ever accepting Angel’s first offer of a date.

He hadn’t bothered to try and find her, or if he had he’d been wholly unsuccessful and not even tried the obvious options. Buffy knew that, since she’d called up Jenny as well as Willow and Xander a couple of weeks ago to tell them she was okay, and why she’d left. They swore to keep her location and condition a secret and that they’d let her know should Angel come around asking about her. Since they never let her know about it, Buffy assumed he never bothered, and whilst that was in one way a huge relief, it was a painful blow in another.

Checking her watch Buffy realised it was almost time for her to pick Michael up from school and leaving the booklets on the table she went to get cleaned up before she left. Tonight she’d take another look at possible courses after her son had gone to bed. So far it looked highly likely that she’d be taking some English classes very soon.

"Well, what did he say?" Giles asked as Buffy came off the phone.

It was two days since he’d brought home some information for her regarding various classes she might take to further her education and Buffy had quite decided she wanted to study English. The course that seemed most appealing however had started the week before, but Giles had suggested since she’d only missed the one class perhaps Buffy could have a word with the professor and see if she might not be able to catch up.

The call had just been made and Giles was eager to know what had been said.

"I didn’t actually talk to the professor, he’s not there right now" Buffy explained, "but the nice lady that took my call said if I go in later, after four, I could talk to him then"

"Splendid" Giles smiled, "I can be home by then and look after young Michael whilst you go. How does that sound?"

"Perfect" Buffy smiled, as she hugged him, "Thankyou so much for all you’re doing, you have no idea how much it means to me"

"On the contrary, my dear" Giles told her softly, "You really have no idea what you mean to me"

Buffy felt ridiculously nervous as she arrived at the college. There were so many young people around, she felt very out of place, despite the fact she was hardly any older than several of them. Being a mother and a married woman made her feel older though, way older, and that was unsettling. Still, the classes she would be attending were for the ‘mature student’ as the leaflets stated. Other mothers, and maybe fathers, and general older type people who wanted to learn for one reason or another. She was sure she’d feel much less out of place in the actual class, that was of course if she was allowed to join. She needed to speak to the professor about catching up first.

A kind woman at the office directed her to Room 117 where she would apparently find the guy who taught the English course she wished to take. Buffy stood outside the door for several minutes before she dared to knock. She heard an English voice call ‘come in’ and she did so, though she could not immediately see where the man was.

"Er, hello?" she called into the apparently empty room, "I’m looking for Professor William Armstrong, I was told he was here" she said uncertainly when suddenly a figure appeared from behind a display board at the back of the room and came towards her.

"You’ve come to the right place, pet" he smiled as he approached her, but the smile slipped off his face when he saw who he was speaking too, "Bloody hell" he gasped as Buffy physically reeled back til she hit the wall.

"Oh my God" she blinked, "Spike?" she breathed, moments before the world went black.

To Be Continued...