"Spike" Buffy gasped for air as she finally broke their kiss, "What are we doing?"

"Well, where I come from" he smirked "we call it snogging, luv" he leaned in to start all over again but Buffy moved away, hopping off the stool and taking a couple of steps back.

"No, we can't..." she shook her head to emphasise the point. Though for the most part she really wanted to be doing this, she wasn't sure it was the best thing right now.

"Come on, Slayer" Spike begged, moving towards her again, effectively pinning her back against the counter, even though he wasn't physically touching her yet, "Can't you feel how much I want you?" he asked looking into her eyes as he pressed up against her, making her swallow hard "and I know you want me too...I can see it in your eyes" he told her softly, one hand moving lightly over her cheek before coming to rest in her hair, "I can feel it when we touch" he continued, his other hand reaching for hers, linking their fingers, as his eyes searched hers for a reaction, an answer.

Her eyes moved from his to their hands and back. She knew he was right, more than right. She wanted him so badly right now that it hurt, wanted to kiss him and touch him, and have him do the same to her, but it was more than that, more than lust. It might have been easier if that was all it was, just a physical attraction, but she liked him now, cared about him, more than she ever thought possible. It was like a lightening bolt shaking her whole body as she realised she was in very great danger of falling in love.

"I do want you" she finally admitted, in a whisper, continuing fast in order to stop him from kissing her again "but I've been here before, Spike, and I can't do it again" Buffy's voice was trembling now as tears came to her eyes. She just couldn't deal with another messed up relationship and things could never work between a Slayer and a vampire.

"I'm not Angel!" Spike snapped, quite annoyed at the implication that he might be, "and he wasn't the father of your child" he pointed out, some of the softness disappearing from his eyes and tone of voice.

"It doesn't matter" Buffy shook her head sadly, making her tears run down her cheeks. She removed his hands from her and side-stepped away, "I can barely handle this pregnancy thing and having a baby that could be half Slayer, or half vampire, or whatever" she wiped the tears from her face, only to find them replaced by more as she saw the pain in Spike's eyes, "I don't want to hurt you" she told him, "but like I said before, I can't deal with your feelings right now...I can barely control my own" she added quietly, before turning to walk away to the bedroom.

Spike's hand reached out to grab her arm and prevent her from going.

"Buffy..." she turned back at the sound of her name and he pulled her to him, covering her lips with his before she had a chance to argue. He knew she felt something for him, and he was so certain now of what it was he felt for her. It seemed the only way to make her see it was to show and tell. She was too stunned to kiss him back right now but she wasn't pushing him away either, and he knew she was perfectly capable.

"Buffy" he said again when he finally pulled away, still holding onto her arm so she couldn't run, "I love you" he admitted at last, finding it wasn't half so difficult to say than he thought it would be, "I don't know how it happened, and I know it's crazy and complicated, and I never meant for it to happen, but I'm not afraid of it" he explained.

The entire time, Buffy was staring at him, one hand on her mouth where he'd kissed her so hard that she felt like he was still doing it even when he'd stopped.

Had he just said he loved her? Her brain couldn't take in the concept. He'd said before that he liked her, cared for her, wanted to raise the baby and everything, but it never occurred to her that he would come out and say that he loved her, not now, if ever.

The part of her that knew she liked him more than she'd admit, that corner of her heart that was growing everyday, learning to love him, it was over-joyed to hear he felt the same, but like he'd said himself, it was crazy and complicated...

"Spike, I...I wish I could but..." she tried but failed to answer him, the words he wanted to hear just weren't ready to be said yet, "I'm sorry" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks once again as she pulled her arm free and ran into the bedroom, throwing the door closed behind her.

"Nice going, Spike" the vampire said sarcastically to himself, sitting down heavily on the stool by the counter. In a moment's frustration he swept the bag of cookies straight off the surface, sending the contents all over the floor as he thumped his fist into the worktop, almost cracking it.

He'd never wanted to make the Slayer cry, and it was bloody confusing feeling the way he did about her when they'd been such enemies just a few months ago. Still, there was no denying the love he felt for her. It was real, no matter what the demon within him said, or what the silly bint in that bedroom tried to tell him.

Why did things never work out the way he wanted them to? Spike sighed. Seemed he would be sleeping on the couch after all.

- - - - - - -

It was getting late, and Giles had told the Scoobies that the best thing to do would be to go home and get some rest. They had a lot of research to do, a demon to fight without the help of the Slayer it seemed, and what should be an impossible pregnancy to try and explain. None of these things could be done when the group of young people were so tired and drained. In fact, though he'd never admit it, Giles was beginning to wonder if it were all possible anyway.

With a long sigh, the ex-Watcher removed his glasses and tiredly rubbed at his eyes. He walked over to the drinks cabinet and poured himself a large scotch before returning to the couch to read more of the Watcher's Diary that Xander and Anya had come across.

The Slayer it referred to was Nikki Wood, who was called in New York in the seventies. Her Watcher, Bernard Crowley, had kept meticulous records and the detail was particularly appreciated at this time. What was bothering Giles most of all was that the name of Slayer seemed familiar. Of course he had studied the Slayer line back over many centuries but it was impossible to recall every name. Still Nikki Wood was ringing a bell somewhere in the back of his mind. He was sure eventually he would remember why, but in the meantime he would concentrate on the young woman's pregnancy. Any information he could give to Buffy that would help her with relation to her child was a bonus.

- - - - - - -

Tomorrow, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara would be back to help with further research and the computer-literate witch planned to try to hack into the Initiative records to assist with the defeat of Adam. In the meantime, the apartment was peaceful and calm, and there were several hundred more pages Giles wanted to get through before he turned in for the night. Thank heaven Spike had moved out when he had!

"Here you go sweetie" Tara smiled comfortingly at Willow as she handed her a mug of cocoa, "It should help you sleep" she said as she sat down on the bed where her girlfriend was already snuggled beneath the covers.

"Thanks" she managed a small smile back as she sat up just enough to sip at her drink, "I can't believe all that's happened today"

"It has been kind of crazy" Tara agreed with a nod as she ran her fingers through Willow's hair, making her sigh and move closer to her.

"Buffy's having Spike's baby, and she's gone away to who-knows-where" she re-capped, "Riley is gone, and the Professor, and there's another big demon to fight...why doesn't it ever stop?" she asked, looking up at Tara, who hated that she didn't have an answer.

"I wish I knew baby, I-I really do" she said softly, "but I don't"

"At least I always have you" Willow smiled as she put her mug down on the nightstand and reached over to kiss her girl.

"You'll always have me" Tara promised, moving to lay down beside Willow so they could cuddle.

"I keep thinking about Buffy" the red-head sighed, "She must feel so confused and alone...and it's all my fault, me and my stupid I Will It So spell"

"I'm sure she doesn't blame you" Tara tried to sound comforting, but she had no way of knowing what Buffy thought and felt about any of this, she hadn't even been around when Willow's spell had been cast.

"But I blame me" she pressed, "If I only hadn't said that she should marry Spike!"

"Is that all you said?" Tara frowned suddenly, pulling out of the hug to see her girlfriends face. Willow wondered why she a suddenly asking that question.

"I don't know exactly" she realised as she tried to remember, "Er, I was talking to Xander" she said slowly, trying to recall the exact wording of their conversation, "I was complaining that Buffy wanted to spend time with Spike more than me, which was stupid but...I said 'Why doesn't she just go marry him and...' oh my Goddess!" Willow gasped loudly, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What is it, Willow?" Tara was worried by the panic and guilt she saw on her girlfriends face.

"I said" she forced out, taking her hand away from her face, "'Why doesn't she just go marry him...and have his babies, and live happily ever after'"

Tears fell from her eyes as the guilt washed over her. She'd blamed herself before because she thought by making Buffy and Spike in love she'd also caused them to make a baby, but now it was even worse as she remembered saying those very words.

"Human life can't be reversed" Tara said under her breath, making Willow look at her strangely. She quickly explained, "It-It's a law, of magic. Even if you reversed the spell, a human life ca-can't be taken back" she said, getting up from the bed and fetching a book from the shelf. She flipped the pages til she found the one she needed and handed the book to Willow, pointing out the passage she needed to see.

"How can I ever tell Buffy?" the girl looked petrified and so very sorry for what she'd done. Tara felt awful for her, but there was an up-side to all this.

"A-At least we know it's a human life that's been made. It's unlikely the child will have any vampire or Slayer aspects" she attempted a half smile, but Willow still looked unhappy.

"I guess thats good" she conceded, "but it doesn't make Buffy any less pregnant-at-nineteen" she sighed as she put the book to one side and laid down again, glad that Tara had agreed to stay over and was holding her close right now.

It was unlikely she would get much sleep tonight, with her head so full of Buffy and the baby, as well as the escaped demon and the deaths of those she knew, but it would be easier with Tara there. Everything was easier when they were together.

- - - - - - -

"It's weird" Anya sighed as she collapsed on top of her boyfriend, having finally gotten the sex she'd been craving for hours.

"Huh?" Xander responded, suddenly worried "Weird?"

"Not the sex" she shook her head, half smiling at his freaked expression.

"Then what?" Xander pulled himself up a little "Not doing wonders for the fragile male ego here, Ahn"

"Well, we have sex" she explained, tracing random patterns on his chest with her fingers "and it's nice, more than nice because I love you"

"I love you too" he smiled, squeezing her gently "but still not understanding the weirdness"

"Well, I always thought sex was just about two people and the smooshing together" she explained in her own unique way "and then I realised love made the smooshing even better" she smiled, "and now Buffy's having this baby because her and Spike..."

"Please do not finish that sentence" Xander begged "Really, not an image I need, Ahn"

Anya sighed. Humans could be so silly sometimes.

"Don't you see what I'm saying?" she said in exasperation, failing to see why he wasn't understanding her very simple premise "People are dying and people have to be born to replace them, and I just realised that one day, not now because you live in a basement and have very little cash and everything" she wrinkled her nose before continuing "but, one day we can do that - make a life"

"I guess" Xander didn't sound entirely sure about that. He was only nineteen, and Anya had only been his girlfriend for a few months and she was talking about babies? That was way, way in the future type stuff.

"I think we'll make very pretty children" Anya decided with a firm nod that he felt against his chest.

"Yeah, maybe one day we will" he replied, trying to suppress a yawn "I just hope Buffy can deal with her 'one day' cos it's coming a lot faster than ours...right?" he added, suddenly very awake and panicked by the thought that this conversation was leading to an unwelcome announcement.

"Yes, Xander" Anya smiled, looking up at his frightened expression. She'd seen less fear on the faces of men she was threatening to eviscerate! "Please breathe now" she said her smile disappearing some "you're turning unattractive colours" she pointed out and Xander let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

One day he figured the whole marriage and kids thing might happen for him, and yeah, maybe it'd be Anya he ended up with, but for now he was happy just being Xander, the funny guy without the responsibilities. He just felt bad that his best friend didn't have the options he did right now.

- - - - - - -

Buffy was having trouble sleeping. She could blame the unfamiliar bed, or the baby she carried, or a hundred other things, but the fact was the reason she couldn't sleep was a certain vampire in the next room.

Spike was the father of her child, God only knew how, but he was, and she had to admit she liked him, maybe even more than liked...but when he'd come out and said he loved her, that was something she just wasn't prepared for.

If it was just a case of wanting her in a lusty kind of way she could maybe deal with that, or if it was just the baby he cared about and she was important by association, but he actually loved her. It should feel wrong and disgusting to know that an evil, soulless vampire was in love with you, but Spike wasn't nearly half so evil as he had been just a few short months ago and as for soulless, well, there were humans with souls who did terrible things. Did it make so much difference as it originally seemed too?

Angel needed his soul to be good, without it he was just an evil monster, and Buffy had always thought every vampire was the same. Spike it was beginning to seem, was an enigma, not just the only vamp to father a child, as far as she was aware, but also able to love without a soul.

Clattering noises came from the living room, startling Buffy out of her deep thoughts. It was ridiculous, she decided, with her in here and him out there. They needed to sort things out and she knew she'd get no sleep until they did. There was a loud bang beyond the door, as she swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her dressing gown which she pulled on over her pyjamas. Cautiously she opened the bedroom door and crept out only to find that no-one was there.

Tears filled her eyes as she considered the fact that Spike may very well have left with no intention of coming back. Had she hurt him that much? She hadn't meant to but, after all the mistakes she'd made in her love life she was so afraid of making another, especially now when she was a few months away from bringing a new life into the world, one that she would have to look after for the rest of her life.

First there had been Angel, who had turned evil on their one intimate occasion and she'd been forced to send him to hell. He'd returned with his soul intact for just a few months before he walked out of her life never to come back again. In between there had been Scott which had been a disaster from start to finish - she'd still been so hung up on Angel. Then came Parker, who she would rather just forget, and Riley who she might have been able to make a half-decent relationship with if it were not for her spell-induced affair with Spike and the pregnancy that had come out of it. Still, Buffy was almost certain that things between herself and Riley would've gone downhill fast, either because he was just too damn decent and boring or because she would've driven him away. Why did she drive them all away? Buffy was desperately trying to fight back tears as she realised it had happened again. Spike had gone out that door and he might not come back. Just as she thought that very thing the front door opened again and Spike came back into the apartment, black leather duster swooshing behind him.

He stopped short of the kitchen when he noticed Buffy on the couch, a look that was a mixture of annoyance and concern on his features.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

She sniffed a little, determined not to cry when she answered.

"Wondering where you were" she admitted and he shrugged his shoulders as he headed over to the kitchen counter.

"Does it matter?"

She followed him and stood the other side of the worktop, the look she gave him telling him that yes, it did matter.

"I was at the hospital" he sighed, reaching inside his coat "nicked some blood" he showed her the packets before dumping them on the counter "Come on then" he urged, trying to see her face as she looked down "tell me off for being a bad man"

Her eyes flitted up to his for a moment before she replied.

"What's the point if you already know it?"

For once Spike did not have an answer. He turned away, getting a mug from the cupboard and turning on the microwave.

"I want us to be friends, Spike" he heard Buffy say to his back. There was a tremble in her voice that wasn't usually there but he tried to steel himself against how bad he felt for being part of the cause of her unhappiness.

"And I want to win the bleedin' lottery" he snapped, keeping his back to her "but it ain't gonna happen" he knew if he looked at her he'd want to hold her and kiss her again, something he knew she wouldn't appreciate right now, given her earlier reaction.

"Spike, please" Buffy begged, tears finally escaping her eyes, her crazy hormones making her feel things so strongly right now "I can't help the way I feel" she told him.

"Yeah, well, neither can I" he said somewhat angrily, spinning around to face her "God knows I never asked for any if this!" he yelled "You having my kid, me actually caring...You think you're having trouble figuring out your feelings, I swear to God Buffy they can't be anymore screwed up than mine!"

Buffy had never seen him so worked up about anything. He'd been angry in her presence before, and not just when he was trying to kill her. When they had him locked in the bath-tub at Giles' he'd got severely P.O.-ed if he wasn't permitted to watch Passions, but he'd never looked so passionate about anything. If Buffy didn't know better she'd say he looked like he might cry.

"Spike" she said softly, walking around the counter to be closer to him. He kept his eyes to the floor, refusing to look at her, so she reached out and took one of his hands in both of hers "no matter what else, this baby is going to be ours - yours and mine" she told him "and I don't want to bring him or her into a world where we're at each others throats" they finally looked at each other then, instead of their hands which remained joined "Can't we just be like we were, before the kissing? Y'know like friends?" she said hopefully, it was all she could handle right now "It was nice then, easier, and I need it to be easier right now"

There was a long moment of silence, before Spike answered.

"I'll try, luv" he nodded slowly "but I can't turn off what I feel for you...both of you" he said, glancing to her stomach and back.

Buffy managed a small smile as she nodded.

"I know, but maybe if we just don't talk about it for a while..."

"It won't just go away if you ignore it" he snapped more severely than he meant to. Buffy didn't even flinch.

"I know that, but maybe we could put it to one side for a little while, and just see what happens?" she tried. Spike nodded once again.

"I guess we could at that" he agreed as Buffy yawned, no longer able to hide how tired she was.

"Come on" Spike smiled at how young and fragile she looked "You should really get some rest" he told her, taking his hand from hers and gently taking hold of her by the shoulders. He turned her around and walked her back to the bedroom where she laid down and he pulled the covers up around her.

"You need anything, you just yell, okay?" he told her, and she nodded slightly as she closed her eyes.

Everything would be okay now, and she could get a good night's sleep, knowing that, for now at least, things between her and Spike were okay.

"I hope you all got a good nights sleep, we do have rather a lot to get done today" Giles called the Scooby meeting to order, though the gathering of young people looked far from official, and with no Slayer in charge they were rather a depleted bunch.

"Before you start, Giles" Willow looked at her feet then back up at the Watcher, "I have to tell you something important" she looked at Tara who placed a hand on her girlfriends shoulder, giving her a small smile and nod of encouragement.

"Yes, Willow, what is it?" Giles was eager to know and the red-head took a deep breath before she replied.

"I know how come Spike could get Buffy pregnant...it was my fault" she said sadly. Xander shook his head.

"Old news, Will" he pointed out, "We knew yesterday that your wacky spell made them get all...with the straddling, and I really don't want to be thinking about this"

"I think it goes without saying that we all feel the same about that" Giles agreed, but Willow hadn't finished.

"No, you don't understand" she shook her head, "Spike's a vampire and that means he can't make kids, 'cept my spell kinda meant that he could...I'm so sorry" she looked like she might cry, but still the rest of the gang were at a loss as to know exactly what she meant. Tara put her arm around Willow and explained herself.

"W-when Willow said Buffy should m-marry Spike, she also said sh-she should h-have his children" the other witch said quietly.

"Oh, well, yes, that does explain a great deal" Giles nodded. The biggest mystery in all of this had been how Spike, a seemingly sterile vampire, had come to father a child. Now they had one explanation at least, and following vast amounts of reading the night before Giles had news to share about Slayer pregnancy too, "On a similar theme" he continued, clearing his throat as he picked up two books from the table, "I have read the Watcher's Diaries of Bernard Crowley more closely, concentrating of course on all reference to the pregnancy of the Slayer, Nikki Wood"

"So what's the story, G-man?" Xander was eager to know. The Watcher looked decidely annoyed at his choice of phrasing.

"Xander, how many times must I ask you not to call me that?" he rolled his eyes, "In any case, it appears that the pregnancy of a Slayer is not wholly different to that of any other ordinary human female" he explained, "During the early stages there is morning sickness, general nausea, and some fainting mentioned, later general fatigue and muscles cramps though less than the average woman one would imagine since the endurance and strength of a Slayer are increased. There is also mention of odd food cravings, which I understand to be fairly common in later stages, and then comes the, er, labour obviously"

"So Slayer pregnancy, basically just like everybody else's pregnancy" Anya said matter-of-factly, "No big deal"

"Well, there is one fundamental difference" Giles continued, referring again to the notes he had made whilst reading the other Watcher's writings, "It seems that Nikki came to term, as it were, one and a half times faster than average"

"You mean, she had her baby in six months instead of nine?" Willow frowned slightly, it didn't make much sense.

"Yes, that does appear to be the case" Giles nodded, "Here we find out that the Slayer is pregnant" he pointed in the book before turning to another marked page "and two entries later that a doctor has confirmed her to be at two months along"

Next Giles opened the second book near the beginning.

"The date here, the day Robin was born, is July 27th" he pointed out, "Back here, the entry is marked April 21st"

"Two months pregnant in April, means six months in July" Xander nodded, doing the simple math that even he could cope with "but what's to say the kid wasn't just early, I was" he remarked. Giles shook his head.

"There are references to doctors comments and Crawley himself postulates that Slayer pregnancy's probably come to term a degree faster than that of the average woman" he explained, "It does appear that Nikki's baby was indeed due to be born as if it had been growing for nine months, despite the fact it took just six for this to occur"

"Have you told Buffy?" Willow wanted to know and Giles shook his head again as he closed the books and put them back on the table. His glasses were soon in his hand and he was polishing the lenses with his handkerchief.

"No, not yet" he admitted, "but she does need to be told, I also think perhaps I should mention Riley to her. I understand she might be upset but I do hate to keep secrets from her, I've found she doesn't take kindly to it"

"Oh God, she's all alone, wherever she is" Xander looked pained on the Slayers behalf, "She's gonna be crushed"

"Nevertheless" said Giles, placing his glasses back on his face, "she should know, although I think perhaps it would be wise to avoid mentioning this Adam creature until we know more about it"

The gang nodded their agreements and the Watcher said he would call Joyce later to get the phone number of where Buffy was staying. The conversation he must have with the Slayer was not one he was looking forward to, but as he'd told her friends already, she had to know.

- - - - - - - -

It was several hours since Buffy had laid down and gone to sleep. Spike hadn't meant to stay in the bedroom so long, but there was a lot on his mind and sitting there in the chair by the bed, just watching the Slayer breathing in and out, hearing her heart and their child's beat steadily in the otherwise silent room, it was the most peaceful thing in world. Sitting there, just watching and listening, his mind had time to wander back over the events of the past few hours, days, weeks.

A chain reaction of insane incidents seemed to have occurred, starting from Willow's spell or maybe even before, possibly it all began when those commandos had shoved a chip up his brain? Whenever it had started, it didn't look as if it planned on ending anytime soon, and Spike knew now more clearly than he ever had that he was in love, and that at least was a forever deal.

Buffy sighed in her sleep and turned over so she was facing him. The room was dark save for a slight shimmer of moonlight that came through the gap between the curtains that grew wider every time the soft breeze jostled them. Still with his sharpened vision he could see her almost as clearly as in the light of day. God she was beautiful, and he longed to touch her. When they'd kissed in the kitchen it had been different to before, under that spell. This was real, one hundred percent under their own control, and Spike wanted more of it. But Buffy had made her feelings quite clear on that subject, just friends was all they were to be, for now at least. Spike was holding on to the shred of hope she'd given him, that maybe someday he could mean more to her than just a friend. For now that would have to do, but one day...

The demon within him growled, cutting his thoughts off sharply. It was almost twenty four hours now since he'd fed and he was starting to feel the effects. Carefully and quietly so as not to disturb his own Sleeping Beauty, Spike got up from the chair, crept out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

He grabbed one of the blood bags from the counter where he'd left them, ripped it opened with his teeth and poured the contents into a mug so he could warm it in the microwave. His demon visage slipped unnecessarily into place as the smell of the plasma hit his sensitive nose.

Two mugs of blood later, the demon was sated and his human features settled back onto his face as he washed the mug in the sink and put it away, shoving the rest of the blood in the fridge. It was easier said than done, but he managed to find a space between the cottage cheese and low fat spread.

Spike realised now that he was more desperate for sleep than he had been for the blood. Despite his demon status and a usual abundance of energy, he hadn't slept properly for weeks, constantly overly aware of other demons that might decide to kill him in his sleep for daring to work on the Slayer's side. Here he figured he was safe enough, so long as all the blinds were closed before he settled himself on the sofa.

He removed his coat and laid himself down, trying to find a comfortable position on a piece of furniture that was clearly a foot too short for his body. Still, when one was used to sleeping on a stone coffin, a well padded sofa was luxury, even if he did have to squash himself up some to fit on it.

A part of him, a rather large part actually, vaguely considered making good use of the other half of the double bed Buffy was currently using. He could slip in, catch a few hours sleep and sneak out again, or better yet stay and in the morning wake her up in a fashion that was guaranteed to get her attention. He smirked to himself as his mind wandered again, it was a nice idea and it'd almost be worth getting staked for afterwards, but he didn't fancy being forced off this plane of existence right now. He was going to be a father, a completely remarkable idea, but nonetheless true. He wanted to be there when his child came into the world, and for every moment after that for as long as his un-life would let him. So far from dreams of blood and pain, it was with thoughts of the family he hoped he would one day have that Spike finally fell asleep with a smile on his face.

- - - - - - - -

"But Daddy..." the little girl pouted, golden curls of hair falling in her blue eyes.

"No buts now Little Bit" Spike told her in a decidedly fatherly tone, as he walked over to the bed and encouraged her to lie down. She conceded and snuggled back down under the covers as he came to sit on the edge of the bed.

"But I'm not at all tired" she tried one final time to convince him but the large yawn that escaped straight after gave her away.

"Well, maybe you're not" he said, despite knowing for a fact she was lying, "but Mummy and Daddy are so you stay right here until Mickey Mouse here rings his bell" he told her, gesturing to her alarm clock on the table by her bed.

"Okay Daddy" she grinned, closing her eyes immediately and feigning sleep. Spike placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before puling the covers up tight around her and heading for his own bedroom.

"I've been waiting for you" Buffy said in a sultry tone as soon as he came through the door. There she was laid out on the bed in a short and revealing silk night-dress and nothing else, "I was getting lonely without you" she told him with a sly smile as he climbed onto the bed beside her.

"Well, now I'm here" he told her in a whisper, kissing her briefly on the lips before continuing, "So whatever it was you wanted me for..." his sentence was left unfinished as she reached over and kissed him hard, making her intentions even more obvious than they had been before.

"Buffy" Spike sighed as he covered her with kisses, at the same time allowing her to help him undress, "God I love you so much"

"I love you too Spike" she gasped as he ran his hands all over her body making her shiver in a delicious way, "Take me, please" she begged, unable to wait any longer. Naturally he complied and set about making love to her...

The harsh sound of the telephone shattered Spike's beautiful dream into painful shards and he groaned, for more than one reason, as he rolled over and fell straight off the couch with a thump.

"Oh bloody hell!" he cursed, dragging himself up just enough to reach for the phone that continued to ring on the coffee table, "What do you want?!" he said sharply into the receiver, the reply to which was an audible gasp on the other end of the line.

"Oh, I, um..." an English voice stumbled over what he meant to say and Spike frowned from his position sprawled on the carpet.

"Giles?" he guessed.

"Good grief, Spike?" the Watcher finally realised who he was speaking to, "What the bloody hell are you doing with Buffy?" he asked in a decidedly Ripper tone.

"I'm not doing anything with Buffy" the vampire told him tiredly, "mores the bloody pity" he added to himself, finally gaining control of things that had risen to the occasion, so to speak, during his rather vivid dream.

"Look, you stupid git" Giles said fairly angrily, "Is Buffy there or not?"

"She's sleeping" Spike explained, rolling his eyes, "and so was I til you bloody interrupted. What's with the frantic phoning anyway?" he asked, feeling more awake now and puling himself up to sit on the edge of the sofa. He was hoping Buffy was still asleep as he'd said, she needed plenty of rest in her condition.

"I have some news, regarding her child" the Watcher told Spike uneasily.

"Our child, mate" the vampire took great delight in reminding him, "The sprog's mine too y'know"

It was now Giles' turn for a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head.

"Yes, yes, we're all quite aware of your...capabilities" he told him, "Although I must tell you it was entirely temporary and caused by a certain bad choice of words on Willow's part during that confounded spell of hers"

"Well, gotta give Red her due" Spike smiled, "When she starts mixing up her mojo she does a thorough job"

"I'd rather not discuss this with you" Giles snapped a little, "but I do concede that given your status as the child's father you do deserve to know what we've discovered"

"Go on then" Spike held his unneeded breath, "Give us the bad news fast"

The Watcher on the other end of the line was slightly surprised by the apparent fear in the vampires voice. Was it possible for Spike to care for the child, and possibly for Buffy, in any kind of real way. Right now he did not have time to dwell on it.

"The news is not entirely bad" he assured the vamp, "Only of some interest..." he began to explain, telling Spike all about a Slayer's pregnancy lasting six months instead of nine.

"Well, bugger me" the bleached blond was surprised but pleasantly so to find his child would be arriving in the world much quicker than presumed, "Is that all?" he checked, still worried there would be something bad, despite the fact Giles had already told him otherwise.

"Well, there was one other thing" the Watcher finally admitted. Spike could practically hear him take off his glasses and fiddle with them in his free hand.

"Spit it out then" the vampire urged, a lesser known feeling called panic rising in his chest.

"Riley is dead" he said simply, "as is Professor Walsh"

"Well, can't say as I'm sorry" Spike said calmly, "Never cared for that Initiative lot, what with them shoving this lump of silicon into my head and all" he explained, "but I don't love the idea of telling the Slayer her ex-honey just bit the big one...Demon was it?" he added with a curious tone. Giles coughed and spluttered a little before he answered.

"Yes, a demon of some kind, nothing that can't be dealt with" he lied. Spike nodded to himself.

"Right then, if that's all, I best go check on the Slayer"

"Spike?" Giles called, hoping the vampire hadn't hung up yet. He was in luck, he hadn't, "How on Earth did you come to be staying wherever Buffy is?"

Spike smiled as he looked over at the bedroom door that his Slayer had just appeared in, yawning and dishevelled from sleeping in her clothes.

"Silly bint can't seem to look after herself" he told the Watcher on the phone, "It's a nasty job but...someone's gotta do it" he hung up a moment later, barely registering the fact that Giles had warned him not to harm Buffy before saying goodbye.

"What are you doing out of bed so soon?" Spike frowned a little as he walked over to her.

"There was ringing in my dream" she said sleepily rubbing at her eyes, "and banging too"

"I know what you mean" Spike smirked to himself, before shaking his head to remove the thoughts in it. For a second Buffy looked at him strangely and he was slightly worried that she'd learnt how to mind-read. It was a relief when she laughed and slightly puzzling when she reached a hand out to his head.

"Your hair's all crazy" she giggled, flattening it out a little for him, before suddenly realising what she was doing and taking her hand away, "You're a mess" she said more seriously.

"Yeah, well" he shrugged, momentarily confused by the mixed signals, but finding it was fairly easy to be serious when you're faced with the prospect of having to tell the woman you love that one of her mates has snuffed it.

"Buffy, I think you should come and sit down" he said slowly, gently taking hold of her hand and leading her over to the couch.

"What is it?" she asked with panic in her voice, "Is it my Mom? Is it something about the baby? Oh God Spike, please just tell me if it's bad"

"Ssh now Slayer, calm down" he urged her, "It's not all bad" he promised, still holding onto her hand and not wanting to let go yet. She didn't seem to be arguing the point so he decided to leave it be and just tell her what he must.

"First thing is about the nibblet" he explained, gesturing with his other hand towards her stomach, "Seems you Slayers pop out kids one and a half time faster than the average" he told her.

"Well, can't say that's a bad" Buffy agreed, "The less pregnancy I get has to be for the better, I guess" she reasoned.

"Now we come to the less nice part" Spike said quietly, shifting a little closer to her on the sofa, "Buffy, your boy Riley and your Professor...they died, pet" he said as gently as he could. It felt like a knife in his heart as he watched her face crumple and tears ran down her face in waterfalls.

"No" she protested, pulling her hand away and standing up, not knowing where to go once she was on her feet, "No, they're not, you just...you're lying!" she cried, putting her hand to her face and sobbing loudly.

"Sweetheart, you know that I'm not" Spike said sadly, standing up beside her, unsure yet whether touching her was a good idea. He really wanted to hold her and tell her it'd be okay, they'd agreed to be friends so he might get away with it but...

"Oh Spike, why do they always die?" she cried, throwing herself against him and almost knocking him over with the force. His arms went automatically around her, holding her tight and rocking her gently as he comforted her.

"I don't know, luv" he whispered against her hair, before kissing the top of her head, "but I'm not going anywhere" he swore to her, "You hear me?" he checked, pushing her away just enough so he could see her face, "I'm never leaving you, hear that?" he repeated, making sure she understood. She stopped crying just long enough to look him in the eye and nod like she meant it.

Knowing her tears were far from over he pulled her back into his arms, gently rubbing her back and promising it'd all be okay. Over and over he swore to her that he wasn't going anywhere, that he'd always be there for her and their child, adding silently in his own mind, that he loved her and their unborn child more than anything else in the world.

"Who on Earth...?" Giles mumbled and cursed as he pulled on his robe and made for the front door. The person on the other side was clearly impatient to be let in, which suddenly had him worried. Had something awful happened? Was it Joyce with news about Buffy, or the Slayer herself in heaven knows what kind of condition?

"I'm coming!" he called as another knock cam on the door.

"...faster if you let me kick it down" he heard the tail end of a sentence from a female voice but the opening of the door revealed only Angel at first.

"Giles, where's Buffy?" he asked, a semi-deadly tone to his voice. The ex-Watcher didn't waver though inside he was panicking. It couldn't be Angelus could it?

"I, er..why precisely did you want to know?" the last thing Giles fancied doing was telling Angels evil alter-ego that Buffy was away, busy being pregnant with his grand-childe's child!

"He knows she's having a kid" Faith chimed in, finally coming into view. Giles inched back a little further, now convinced that Angelus stood before him.

"Giles, I'm not gonna hurt you" the vampire shook his head. He could clearly here the man's heart beating far too fast and the smell of fear was very evident.

"You're not Angelus?" he checked, knowing in all honesty that it did little good asking, as he would probably lie just to gain entry to his home...but then, he'd already been invited anyway. Good God, it was getting worse.

It took fully half an hour for Angel and partly Faith to explain to Giles what had happened, from the Rogue Slayer showing up in LA to her wish to atone to Cordelia's vision. Finally, Giles conceded that it really was the souled Angel on his doorstep with a less evil Faith and he let them in to sit down. He then poured himself a large scotch.

"So, now I guess we come back to my first question" Angel asked agitatedly, "Where's Buffy?"

"I can honestly say I have no idea" Giles tried not to smile. In all honesty he never liked Angel all that much, especially since what had happened when the vamp was Angelus two years ago.

"C'mon Giles" Faith rolled her eyes, sitting on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table til the Watcher's look told her to take them down "Buffy can't file her nails without asking for Watcher's permission"

"Whilst I do understand that you wish to make up for some of the evil you have done Faith" Giles told her in a non-too-friendly tone, "I have to say I am far from your biggest fan and have no wish to hear your opinion on Buffy or anything else for that matter"

"Giles" Angel got his attention back, "You must have some idea where she is" his eyes begged for an answer, "Y'know she could be in danger, if what Cordelia saw in her vision is after her..."

"From your description of the demon, I don't believe Buffy is in any danger" Giles shook his head, taking a seat across from the vampire, "Adam, the demon, is in Sunnydale, and from what Joyce has told me Buffy is far enough away for her to be perfectly safe...in any case, Spike is with her"

"Oh yeah, cos that's so comforting" Angel scoffed, causing Giles to roll his eyes. A pair of vampires with feelings for the Slayer now, perhaps he needed another drink, because the world had clearly gone insane when he wasn't looking.

"Hey, without B around you could still use a little help with the demon smack-down right?" Faith asked the Watcher as he finished off his scotch.

"I'm fairly certain we can manage without your assistance" he lied, knowing a Slayer would be of great use if Adam was as dangerous as he was so far appearing to be. Also Angel, with his fighting skills and experience would be a useful ally.

"Giles, I know neither of us is your favourite person but if you need our help you have to admit it, people's lives could be in danger" Angel reasoned. The Watcher hated that he was right.

"I suppose you could join us tomorrow" he conceded, "Willow, Xander, Tara, and Anya will be coming here in the afternoon, by the time you arrive at sundown we might have our information organised and we could come up with a plan of sorts when we've filled you in on all the details"

"Why wait?" Angel shrugged, "We're here now, tell us what we need to know"

"Why wait?" Giles echoed in astonishment, "Because it is past midnight and unlike some I am not an animal of nocturnal habits" he snapped a little and the vampire got up from his seat, dragging Faith up with him who seemed in no hurry to move.

When they'd finally gone, promising to return tomorrow evening, Giles sighed. For the first time since she'd gone away, he was really glad Buffy was not in Sunnydale. With pregnant women's hormones as they were, the last thing she needed was to be confronted by a seemingly jealous Angel.

- - - - - - -

"Geez Slayer, who knew someone with super-powers could whine so much about a little backache and such" Spike smirked as Buffy lowered herself onto the sofa, complaining the entire time.

"Yeah, well I may be the first person with super-powers to have to carry this kind of weight around all day" she told him grumpily, one hand on her bump. Spike didn't look amused.

"Hey, that's not just some random weight y'know" he cried indignantly, briefly pausing in his tidying up of the kitchen area "That's our kid in there" he couldn't help but smile ever-so-slightly when he said that. The fact he had made a child was a literal miracle, the fact it was with a Slayer was out of this world.

"Our kid who's grown the equivalent of five months in like three and a half" Buffy complained some more. Spike understood to a degree at least why today was complaint day. She'd been up several times in the night, hungry for things they didn't have in the cupboards. He'd gone out and fetched things but by the time he got back she'd been asleep and he didn't like to wake her. It was all very pointless really and all they really achieved was neither got as much sleep as they ought to.

Now she had some back pains and general pregnant lady symptoms that were getting her down. He was also pretty certain it bothered her that the kid might be different - slightly Slayer-ish, slightly vampy, but that was a subject he hadn't dared to raise yet. They'd just been getting on so well lately.

"You know you're not the first to go through it" he said eventually in answer to her complaining.

"Like that makes it better" Buffy huffed quietly but he still heard her.

Spike made a mental note to call the Watcher in the next couple of days, maybe pop to the library sometime when the Slayer was sleeping. He was certain it'd help if she knew more about the other pregnant Slayer and what she went through. Might make her feel a little less alone. He could be there for her but there were limits to how much he could sympathise, he didn't know what she was really feeling.

"Y'know" her voice brought him out of his thoughts and he looked over at her lying there across the sofa, eyes closed "it's like, I know I should want to go back home, see my Mom and Giles and the gang, do my Slayer duty, catch up at college and all...but mostly I just wanna stay here" she admitted, trying to get comfortable "where it's easy"

Spike smirked at that, finally finishing the tidying and leaning on the kitchen counter as he talked to her.

"Easy now is it?" he checked "Being a pregnant Slayer in a strange town, shacked up with a vampire you can't stand"

Her eyes opened then, a frown evident on her face as she pulled herself up enough to look at him.

"You know it's not like that" she said too quietly, if it wasn't for the vampire-hearing, he wouldn't have heard her at that range "I don't hate you anymore, how could I?"

"Seemed to manage pretty well before" he pointed out, somewhat sadly. It hadn't mattered so much in the beginning, the two of them were supposed to hate each other anyway, but later when he'd started to realise real feelings for his Slayer, still she'd insisted they had little more than a messed up kind of a friendship.

"You hated me too though" she frowned a little, mind whirring as she started to wonder if it were possible, if he liked her before all this?

"S'pose" was the only answer she got as he turned away, not really for a purpose but because he couldn't look at her right now, couldn't explain to her all that was going on inside his head and his heart. She hadn't been too thrilled to hear it last time.

"What's that mean?" he spun round at the sound of her voice and the feel of her hand on his arm. She'd covered the space between the couch and the kitchenette at an alarming speed for someone in pain, but clearly she thought this was important, which had to mean something "You were trying to kill me, of course you hated me" she insisted.

Spike looked down at the hand that remained on his arm when he turned to answer her.

"I hated the Slayer" he admitted "Somethin' I came to realise is, there's a person in there too" he smiled slightly as he continued "When you cut the crap and the holier-than-thou attitude, well, let's just say there's not a whole lot left for the hatin'" he ended even more softly than he'd begun. She was so close to him now, warm hand burning a hole in his cold arm, green eyes searching for something in the blue of his, both of them thinking pretty much the same thing. It'd be so easy, feel so good, just to kiss each other now.

"You think it'd be different?" Buffy's voice came out much more quietly than she intended "If we were like, two normal people?" she just couldn't help but wonder, how simple it might be if she was just a girl and he was just a boy and...

"How'd you mean, luv?" Spike asked, daring to hope she might mean what he thought. She was certainly not as disgusted by his presence as she used to be, seemed to regard him as a friend at minimum.

Buffy swallowed hard and thought about explaining when something in her memory banks rushed forward so fast it made her feel sea-sick.

'I just wish we could be regular kids' 'I'll never be a kid' 'Okay a regular kid and her cradle-robbing creature-of-the-night boyfriend...'

"I..er..I dunno" Buffy shook her head, any excuse to break eye contact "Forget it, it's not important" she said quickly hand coming off his arm, backing up a couple of steps "just crazy pregnant lady rambling again!" she started to laugh somewhat maniacally and Spike frowned. Something in that pretty little head of hers was messing around with the pair of them. He had a pretty good idea she had a Giles-shaped Jiminy Cricket type on her shoulder, reminding her that vampires are for killing not for snogging. Either that or she was remembering times with his grand-sire and the heart-ache that eventually brought.

Right now though, he was in no mood to figure out which had got to her, neither did he fancy an argument. She looked knackered and he didn't feel one hundred percent awake himself.

"Okay then...er, do you want anything?" he checked, as she wandered back to her spot on the sofa, and he followed half way "Cos I was thinking of catching a little shut eye. Didn't get a whole lot last night" he smirked slightly and she almost blushed.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that" she apologised, making no issue about him gesturing towards the bedroom when he mentioned sleeping. Whilst she would be far from comfortable sharing the bed with him, there was no reason why he shouldn't use it during the day.

"No big deal, pet" he shrugged, knowing he'd do anything for her and never complain "Gotta keep Mum and baby happy, don't we? Just try not to have too many weird cravings whilst the sun's up? I'm pretty much over my whole human-torch phase" he smirked and she couldn't help but smile up at him.

"Check" she nodded "No more cravings til it's dark"

They shared a look, a little smile, before he headed for the bedroom door.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours then" he told her. His hand reaching for the door-knob til she called his name.

"Yeah?" he said, turning back. She looked over the back of the couch at him, and opened her mouth to speak but none of what she'd meant to say seemed willing to come out. She wanted to tell him thankyou, for being there with her and helping so much. She wanted to say she was sorry for not being nicer or more grateful before. She wanted to explain that whilst she wasn't sure she loved him, she was fairly certain she liked him a lot, and that maybe one day there'd be something between them.

But stupid fear and worry and panic and a whole load of Angelus-shaped memories blocked everything she wanted to say and she ended up with just three words passing her lips.

"Sweet dreams, Spike" she said a little sadly, wishing more than ever that the pair of them could be normal just so they could see what was between them, if anything at all.

The vampire nodded slightly at her words before disappearing into the bedroom. He closed the door behind himself and dropped down into the bed with a thump. He was almost certain then that she was going to tell him...something. Maybe that she liked him now, maybe that she appreciated him and was glad he was around. He was fairly certain love wasn't going to get mentioned yet but God how he wished it would. He loved her so much it was killing him, everyday the emotion getting a little bit stronger as they spent time together. Sure they argued and bitched at each other but that was half the fun.

As he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him, his thoughts remained with Buffy and their unborn child. Once again, fantasies of how their lives might go from here danced through his mind, and he loved every single one.

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