Buffy smiled as she read the front of the card. Buffy read the card quietly into the receiver.

"Thinking Of You From Across The Ocean." Buffy read and smiled wider. "That's so sweet." Buffy said melting as she started to open it.

Spike sat silently, dipping his head as he blushed.

Buffy started to read what was inside.

Buffy,

I decided to stay in Sunnydale for Christmas. I already cleared it with your mum and my dad.

I told them it was because I wanted to see if there were any differences in the way we celebrate the holiday.

But the real reason is you. I wanted to meet you. I want to see what you look like when you smile.

I would like to take you to lunch or dinner. A real one. One that doesn't need the use of a phone.

I'll be waiting to hear from you.

Spike.

Buffy let out a long breath after she finished reading.

"Wow." Buffy said quietly.

"Uh yeah." Spike said twitching nervously.

"I can't." Buffy said as she looked at the card.

"Yeah, so I was mistaken then." Spike replied just above a whisper.

"Yes. I mean no. My answer would have been yes if I was going home for Christmas. But I'm not." Buffy replied.

"You're not coming then." Spike stated.

"No. Willow wasn't ready to go back and see Oz, so she was going to stay. I said I'd stay, didn't want her here alone. I also thought maybe you were going to come here. I thought I'd get to see you." Buffy finished as she leaned back dejectedly on the couch.

"So we both had the same idea." Spike said shaking his head.

"I want to see what you look like when you smile too." Buffy replied.

"Tell me I'm not reading too much into this." Spike asked quietly.

"You're not." Buffy replied. "Do you think we're crazy?"

"I think I'm falling Buffy. It started the moment I heard your voice on the phone. Does that sound crazy?" Spike asked in response.

"I am too. What are we gonna do?" Buffy asked.

"I'm coming home for Christmas." Spike said quietly.

"But you already...

"That was before. I want to check on dad too. But I have to see you." Spike said raking his fingers through his hair.

"When are you coming." Was all Buffy asked.

"I'll call you tomorrow and tell you my flight. Holidays start next Friday. I'll try for a flight out Friday morning."Spike said.

"Hold on, Willow laptop is right here. Give me a minute and I'll tell you what flights are available." Buffy said hurriedly as she started tapping keys.

"Okay there's one flight Friday night that has 2 seats left. There's also one on Thursday. It leaves at 11:15am and has 7 seats still availiable." Buffy said. "How are you paying for this, cash or credit?" Buffy asked.

"Credit card." Spike replied.

"Do you trust me?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah why?" Spike asked.

"Give me your credit card number and I can book your flight right now, make sure you get a seat." Buffy replied.

"Okay." Spike stood up and pulled the credit card his dad had given him and read it to Buffy over the phone.

Buffy filled in all the required feilds and then gave Spike his confimation number.

"So I'm going to see you in six days." Buffy said happily.

"Meet me at the airport." Spike said rather than asked.

"Planned on it. I can't wait to run my fingers through those curls of yours." Buffy said.

"So you haven't seen a recent picture of me then." Spike said chuckling.

"What the ones on the mantle are old?" Buffy asked.

"Over a year old. Open the photo album that in the desk. That's the newest one." Spike said.

"Okay." Buffy said getting up and going to the desk and pulling out the album.

Buffy opened it and fell into the chair.

On the first page was an 8 by 10 head shot. His hair was bleached blonde and his eyes were so blue. Buffy let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

"Pet, are you there?" Spike asked.

"What? Uh yeah. I'm here." Buffy said not taking her eyes from the picture.

Spike heard Buffy flip a couple of the pages.

Buffy was now staring at Spike wearing shorts, leaving his chest bare.

She looked over his defined chest and abs, toned arms and legs.

"Like what you see luv?" Spike asked smirking into the phone.

"Oh yeah. I though you were good looking before. Spike you're beautiful. How come you don't have a girlfriend?" Buffy asked.

"I will have one in thursday." Spike spoke clearly.

Buffy smiled as he stomach did flip flops.

"I should go now and check on Giles. I'll call you tomorrow night okay." Buffy said.

"Alright, til tomorrow night then. Night Buffy." Spike said.

"Good night Spike." Buffy said hanging up the phone.

Buffy got up and moved back to the couch with the photo album.

She set it on the table and was just about to go upstairs when Willow came down.

"Thought you could use some privacy. I just checked on him, he's sleeping." Willow said as they both sat down.

"Is that him?" Willow asked as she looked at the bare chested Spike.

"That's him." Buffy breathed. "He'll be here thursday." Buffy said smiling.

"Wow." Willow said staring at the photo.

"I know. I can't wait to see him." Buffy said happily.

They sat back as Buffy told Willow about the card Spike had sent her and their conversaton on the phone.

"Wow." Willow said again as she looked back at the album.

"Yeah." Buffy said amiling and laying her head back against the sofa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike walked into the Bronze and slowly made his way over to Oz.

"Thanks for coming." Oz said quietly.

"Look, for all it's worth, I don't hate you. Much to the dismay of everyone around me." Spike said as he smirked. "I don't agree with what you did either, that was selfish and wrong the way you went about it. But we all make mistakes don't we."

"Yeah we do. And for what it's worth I'm not with Veruca anymore. Willow, she's the one I want to be with. I know that now. A little late, but I know." Oz replied.

"I can only fill in for a few days. Going home for the holidays on Thursday." Spike replied.

"That's cool. Devon will be back by then. Had some family thing to go to and he couldn't get out of it." Oz replied.

"You already know the songs from the practices. Last time you sat in was on guitar, this time it's singing. You don't know bass do you? Should I be worried?" Oz said as he cocked an eyebrow.

Spike chuckled. "Don't know bass or drums for that matter."

"Come on." Oz said as Spike followed him backstage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music was pumping through out the club as Faith and Angel walked in and went straight to Xander and Cordelia's table.

"Helluva draw tonight." Faith replied as she sat down.

"Uh huh." Cordy said not taking her eyes off the stage.

"It's just the Dingoes, why's the crowd so large?" Faith asked.

"That would be why." Xander said pointing to the stage.

Faith and Angel turned and smiled as they saw Spike being the front man.

"Not bad. Shoulda noticed it wasn't Devon singing." Faith said as her brows crinkled when she saw a gaggle of girls hovering in front of the stage trying to get his attention, as well as some waiting by the door trying to get backstage.

They all sat back and listened to the music and enjoying each others company.

After the last song Spike jumped down from the stage and was immediatley surrounded by several girls.

Faith rolled her eyes as she got up from her seat and walked over.

Angel, Cordy and Xander right behind her.

"I'm very flattered pet, but I'm seeing someone." Faith heard Spike say as she got closer. She smiled widely as Spike looked up.

"No way." Faith said coming up to her.

Spike nodded as his smile grew wider.

"She doesn't have to know." One of the girls said.

"He has a woman so back the hell off." Faith said as she grabbed him and pulled him through the small crowd.

"Thanks." Spike said as he sat down when they made it back to their table.

"So Spike...and I'm asking this for all mankind. What does it feel like to have all those women wanting you?" Xander asked.

Spike thought about it for a minute. "It feels...nice." Spike said shrugging his shoulders.

"I thought so." Xander said looking like he was going to explode.

"It's much better when it's just one woman that wants you as much as you want her though." Spike said taking a drink of his water.

"This is true." Xander said looking at Cordelia.

"You're such a looser." Cordelia said smiling.

"Yeah, but you love me." Xander chided her.

Cordelia rolled her eyes as she dragged him to the dance floor when a slow song started to play.

"I'll leave you too your fun. I'm gonna head out." Spike said standing up.

"Meet me for coffee tomorrow and you can tell me all about it." Faith said as he put his jacket on.

"I'm sitting in tomorrow night too. Come early and we can talk before hand." Spike replied.

"Okay, see ya then." Faith said as she stood up and dragged Angel to the stage.

"What do you two have to talk about?" Angel asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Faith teased as she rubbed her body up against him.

Angel smiled as he captured her lips in a heated kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike finished packing his bag and set it by the front door so when he left in the morning he could just grab it on his way out.

He stopped in the kitchen on his way back upstairs to grab a juice when the phone rang.

"Hello." Spike said as he opened his bottle.

"Hello, can I please speak to Joyce?" The person on the other end asked.

"One moment and I'll get her." Spike said a he went to the dining room.

"Mum, phone's for you." Spike said handing her the phone.

"You mean someone is ctually calling for me?" Joyce said smiling as she grabbed the phone.

Spike chuckled and went upstairs to his room.

He grabbed the picture from the night table and layed on the bed smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike was the first passenger off the plane as he practically ran through the gates to find her.

Spike walked over to baggage claim where they had planned to meet, his eyes darting all around looking for the smile he dying to see in person.

He turned around with a huge grin on hi face when he felt some one tap his shoulder.

His face fell slightly when he saw the splash of red hair smiling nervously and giving him a small wave.

"Hi." Willow said quietly.

"Hello Red." Spike smiled trying to put her at ease and at the same time taking another look around.

Willow chuckled at the nickname Spike had just given her.

"If you wanna see Buffy, we have to hurry." Willow said grabbing his arm and dragging him behind her.

"Why do we have to hurry? Buffy was supposed to meet me? What's going on?" Spike asked as he stepped up his pace and ran beside her.

"We have to hurry and try and catch Buffy before she gets on the plane. She was hoping to see you before she had to board the plane." Willow said pushing through the crowd.

"She's leaving?" Spike asked raising his voice.

"Yeah, she was hoping to at least see you if nothing else. Come on we have to hurry." Willow said running faster.

Spike and Willow made it back to Buffys gate just in time to see the doors close.

"Dammit." Willow cursed quietly.

Spike threw his bag on one of the plastic seats and paced angrily.

"Red you wanna tell me what the bloody hell is going on. Buffy and I had plans to spend the holidays together. Why in the hell is she leaving?" Spike said as he threw himself on the chair, his elbows on his knees.

Willow stood beside Spike and spoke quietly.

"Come to the window, you might see her." Willow said grabbing his hand.

Spike allowed Willow to lead him to the window.

They stood there watching the crowd of people making their way to the airplane.

"There she is." Willow said quietly as she pointed out the figure with long blue jacket on carrying a small bag on her shoulder.

Spike watched as she got closer to the plane.
He watcher her look around then up to the window. She stopped walking and stared in his direction.

Willow waved at Buffy just to let her know in case she couldn't see clearly that it was them.

Buffy brought her hand up and waved , her eyes staying on the black clad figure in the window.

Spike raised his hand and placed it on the glass window as he watched her stand there for another minute before turning and boarding the plane.

"Her aunt died the other night. Joyce called this morning and told her she got buffy booked on a last minute cancellation. She asked if you were there so she could tell you, but you had already left. She was hoping your plane might come in early." Willow said softly

Spike just nodded.

"Let's go. She said she'd call when she got in." Willow said as she turned around and went over grabbing his bag.

Spike watched the plane for a minute before walking over and taking the bag from Willow and walking towards the exit.

"Is dad still at the museum?" Spike asked as Willow started the car.

"Yeah, always." Willow chuckled.

"Can you drop me there?" Spike asked quietly.

"Sure. I'll take your bag and put it in your room for you." Willow said.

"Thank you." Spike replied as he looked out the window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike walked into the museum, he went straight to the back and down the stairs and walked down to the end of the hall.

He stood outside the door like he's done many times over the years listening to the shuffling of papers and the odd muffled curse word.

Spike grabbed the handle and turned it, opening the door and leaning against the door frame.

"Do you never go home?" Spike said his usual line to his father whenever he came to his work.

Giles stopped his movement and smiled widely then turned to the door to see Spike standing there smirking at him.

Giles got up and moved around his desk as they met halfway and embraced each other tightly.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the holiday with Joyce." Giles said clapping him on the back before pulling back.

"So we're a matched set then." Spike said pointing to his eyebrow.

"Oh, yes well...things happen." Giles said stepping back.

"So I hear." Spike said as they both sat down.

Giles rolled his eyes. "Buffy or Willow?" Giles asked.

Spike smiled. "Buffy."

"I told her I was fine. There was no need for you to worry." Giles huffed.

"They care about you." Spike said. "I'm glad they were here to look after you."

"They drove me insane. They kept coming in to check on me every 30 minutes. I'd just about be asleep when they'd come in and ask me how I feel, then proceed to tell me to get some rest. I got less sleep for three nights, then I did while you were a baby." Giles replied barely taking a breath between sentences.

Spike chuckled at Giles.

"You wouldn't have changed a thing would you." Spike said his grin spreading.

Giles just smiled and blushed as he ducked his head.

"So you ready to go?" Spike asked.

"Let's go home." Giles said as he grabbed his jacket.

They both got up and left turning off the light and closing the door behind them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy grabbed her bag and climbed out of the SUV and followd Joyce into the house.

Buffy went straight up to her room and dropped her bag on the floor and fell onto the bed.

Buffy just stared at the ceiling, looking up when she heard a tap at the door.

"Honey I know you planned on spending Christmas with Rupert. I'm really sorry." Joyce said as she came in and sat beside buffy.

"Mom, I never even met Aunt Phyllis. I won't be expected to show up." Buffy said slightly pouting.

"I know, but she was family Buffy and you did meet her.........once." Joyce replied.

Buffy just looked ay Joyce.

"It's only a week Buffy. You can go back after. We leave for Wisconsin tomorrow morning."Joyce said as she stood up. "Are you hungry?" Joyce asked as she headed to the door.

"No." Buffy said quietly.

"Get some rest then." Joyce said closing the door behind her.

Buffy rolled over and looked at the clock as her eyes began to droop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Buffy, come on. Time to get up we leave in a couple hours." Joyce said banging on Buffys door.

Buffy sat up looking at the clock.

"Oh god." Buffy said as she got up and raced down the stairs to the phone. She grabbed the phone and dialed quickly.

Spike grabbed the phone off the counter quickly setting his sandwich down.

"Hello." Spike said hurriedly.

"Spike, I'm so sorry. I was going to call lastnight, but I fell asleep." Buffy said leaning on the counter.

"Kinda figured. How are you?" Spike asked.

"Fine. We're heading to Wisconsin in about two hours." Buffy replied.

"Are you going to be able to get back here before the end of the holidays?" Spike asked hopeful.

"I don't know. I'm gonna try, but I can't promise anything." Buffy replied.

"You and Willow did a good job. My dad looks great. I think he's even out on a little weight." Spike replied.

"I only aim to please." Buffy said chuckling.

"Is that right." Spike replied suggestively.

"You're a pig Spike." Buffy said smiling as she shook her head.

"Yeah." Spike replied matter of factly.

"Is that how you sweep a girl off her feet?" Buffy asked.

"It's not the sweeping that matters. It what you do when she off her feet that counts." Spike replied huskily.

Buffy had no idea how to respond.

"Buffy, get off the phone, we don't have alot of time." Joyce said as she breezed through the kitchen and going up stairs.

"I gotta go." Buffy said.

"Yeah, I heard." Spike replied.

"I'll call you when I get back okay." Buffy said.

"Alright luv. I'll talk to you then."

Buffy hung up and then went upstairs to shower and change.

tbc

Willow hung up the phone and went over and sat beside Buffy on the couch who was busy inhaling a quart of rocky road.

"That Oz again?" Buffy asked spooning another mouthful into her mouth.

"Yeah." Willow said falling onto the couch beside her and digging into the quart of ice cream too.

"He's been calling alot." Buffy said.

"I know. He keeps apologizing and asking me to take him back." Willow replied.

"Are you going too?" Buffy asked quietly.

"I don't know Buff. I mean it's Oz. I love him, but I don't know if I can ever trust him again." Willow replied. "Maybe I don't want to."

"Just do what you think is best for you. You'll know what that is in time." Buffy said quietly.

Buffy begrudgingly put her ice cream down when the door bell rang.

Buffy opened the door to find a boy standing there with two boxes.

"Yes?" Buffy asked as her eyebrows raised.

"Delivery for Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg." The delivery boy stated.

"That's us. WILLOW." Buffy said before screaming for Willow.

Willow came running to the door as Buffy handed her a box.

"What's this?" Willow asked.

"Flowers by the look of it." Buffy said happily as she signed for the delivery.

She closed the door and took her box to the dining room, followed by Willow.

Buffy opened hers to find a dozen red roses entwined with baby's breath. Buffy opened the card and read it to Willow.

"Buffy,

Since I can't be there with you on this day to show how I feel, the flowers are the closest thing I could find that could compare to your beauty. The flowers pale in comparison. I look forward to the day when I can hold you in my arms.

Yours Always,

Spike.

"Buffy that was so sweet." Willow said as she sank into her chair.

Buffy gushed as she put the flowers in a vase.

"He called earlier to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day and he never said a word." Buffy said smiling.

"What's your card say Will?" Buffy asked as she came back in to the diningroom.

Willow looked at her card and gave a small smile. "It's from Oz. It's says,

Dear Willow,

You are my heart.

Love Oz.

"Short and to the point. That's Oz." Willow chuckled as she put her flowers into a vase beside Buffys.

Both of their smiles faded as they went back and started eating the ice cream that was half melted.

Giles came through the front door and straight to the livingroom.

"Buffy, Willow. I know neither of you have plans tonight so I thought I'd take you out to dinner." Giles said smiling.

Buffy and Willows jaws dropped as their bottom lips started to tremble.

"Oh god." Buffy said as she got up and ran to her room.

"Thanks alot." Willow said following her up and closing her door behind her.

"Well, that was odd. What did I say?" Giles said to an empty room. He turned and walked through the diningroom.

"Oh. Nice flowers." Giles said as he passed through to the kitchen, shaking his head at the girls strange behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey mum. You going out tonight?" Spike asked as he sat at the counter in the kitchen.

"No. Strangley enough I've had alot of first date's lately but no second dates." Joyce said pouring a cup of coffee.

"Yeah...well...they weren't good enough for you anyway." Spike said stuttering.

"Who wasn't good enough?" Angel asked as he walked into the room.

"All those blokes mums been dating......one time only." Spike said eyeing Angel.

"Oh." Angel coughed. "Spike's right, they weren't the kind of guys you need hanging around. Bunch of deadbeats." Angel said nodding along with Spike.

"One was the Deputy Mayor." Joyce replied.

"He looked shady." Spike spoke up quickly.

"Yeah , he was up to something." Angel added.

Joyce just rolled her eyes as she sipped her coffee.

"Maybe I'm a bad date. I mean it has been many many years since I've been out there. Maybe I'm doing it wrong." Joyce said.

"No, you're perfect Joyce." Angel said.

"Any man would give his right arm to be with you." Spike replied.

"You're doing nothing wrong. It's the men, there all bastards." Spike added. "Well with the exception of me and dad of course."

"Hey." Angel said as he hit Spike on the arm.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Oh alright....and Peaches."Spike said looking like it caused him pain to have those words cross his lips.

Joyce just shook her head and snickered.

"Get dressed mum. I'll take you to dinner." Spike said quickly.

"You should be going out with someone....I don't know, younger." Joyce replied.

"Yeah well, she's not here and you are, so get dressed." Spike said going upstairs to change.

"We'll make it a foursome. I'll call Faith." Angel said moving to the phone.

"I guess I'll change." Joyce said chuckling as she went to her room to change her clothes.

Half an hour later Spike and Angel sat in the living room waiting for Joyce.

"What takes then so long to get ready?" Angel said as he sighed.

"The way I look at it. They're going to all the trouble to look they're best and it's all for you. Least we could do is wait and be happy with the knowledge they're doing it for you. Not that they need to mind you, if we asked them out then we're already attracted, but it makes them feel all sexy, and there nothing better than a sexy woman." Spike replied smirking.

"Is she gonna be all night?" Angel said as he looked at his watch.

Spike rolled his eyes and scowled. "You don't even have a clue."

"I heard you Spike. Faith was ready when I called. She's waiting. Do you think I'm idiot." Angel huffed.

"Lil bit yeah." Spike stated as he turned to the stairs when Joyce started coming down the stairs.

Angel glowered back but it was lost on Spike as he stood up ignoring Angel and moved over to Joyce smiling.

"You look amazing mum." Spike said offering her his arm.

"Such a gentlman. Rupert did a very good job raising you." Joyce stated as she took his proffered arm.

"Right this way Joyce." Angel said as he went to the door holding it open for her.

Angel locked it behind him as they moved to the SUV.

"I'll drive mum. You sit back and relax." Spike said.

"I think I should drive." Angel said speaking up.

"Not bloody likely gel boy." Spike said as he seated Joyce in the passenger side.

"Shut up Billy." Angel said. "I'm driving."

"Oh, so I'll be sitting in the back with your date." Spike said nodding. "She does look like a lot of fun. I can recall her saying something about a whip and a school girl out fit." Spike said waggling his eyebrows.

"Drive the car Spike." Angel said as he climbed into the backseat while Spike chuckled as he opened his door and climbed in behind the wheel.

Joyce just sat there looking at Spike.

"What?" Spike asked.

Joyce just shook her head and smiled.

They picked up Faith and headed out to a restaurant grabbing the last table available.

Faith and Joyce got along famously talking about everything.

They all talked the differences in the two cultures, three really because Angel had come from Ireland.

They talked all through dinner and desert and stopped for coffee on the way home. Spike and Joyce dropped Angel and Faith off at the Bronze and continued on the way home.

They pulled in to the drive and walked into the house locking the door behind them.

Angel was spending the night at Faiths, so there was no need to keep it open for him.

"Thank you I had a great time tonight." Joyce said smiling.

"Anytime mum, just say the word." Spike replied.

"I think I'll turn in." Joyce said as she gave Spike a kiss on his cheek. "You're a good boy William." Joyce said on her way upstairs. "You're going to make some woman very lucky one day."

"Thanks mum." Spike said blushing.

Spike went to the kitchen and had a glass of juice before going upsatirs to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

February was coming to an end soon as Willow ran frantically from her room, running a brush through her hair quickly. She went downstairs quickly going to the kitchen downing a glass of juice like a shot. She placed her glass in the sink as she turned to face Buffy.

"You ready?" Willow asked grabbing a pile of envelopes and the keys.

"Yeah." Buffy said finishing her juice and grabbing her stack of mail and following Willow out the door.

Buffy locked the door before they continued down the walk.

"So what are you hoping for?" Willow asked excitedly.

"UCLA I think I stand a good chance on but there's a few more I'm interested in. I'll just wait and see what happens." Buffy replied.

"I'm hoping for Oxford or Yale." Willow said.

"Willow they've had you on their mailing list for two years. I think you can get into any place you want." Buffy replied laughing.

Willow just smiled happily.

"Let's get them mailed. Then we can sit and wait and worry until we hear from them." Buffy said as they came to the mailbox.

They dropped the letters in and kept walking to the coffe shop around the corner.

"Buffy, Willow, nice to see you. Join us." Dru said as they walked into the cafe.

"I'll get the coffee." Buffy said as Willow sat down.

"What are you doing?" Willow said watching Wesley scribble furiously on his stack of papers.

"Yale." Was all he said.

"Oxford." Dru said as she put her papers in the envelope and sealed it.

"Oh we just mailed all of ours." Willow said.

"All, how many did you fill out?" Dru asked.

"Seven for me and ten for Buffy." Willow said as Buffy set the coffee on the table.

"Should we fill out that many?" Wesley said panicking as he stuffed his envelope and sealed it.

"The stars tell your going to get what you want." Dru said and then turned to Buffy. "They also told me your going to get something that alot of people are going to want. They can't have it though, it only stays with you." Dru said smiling.

Buffy smiled back but had no clue what Druscilla was saying to her. She had become use to Dru's odd behavior and statements. She actually grew to find them endearing.

They finished their coffees and grabbed one to go as they all walked around the streets, looking in shops.

Willow and Buffy made it back home, falling onto the couch rubbing their feet.

"How far did we walk?" Willow said cringing as pain shot through her foot.

"Too far." Buffy replied wincing.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed." Buffy said standing up and limoing up to her room.

Willow was tired too, but decided that sleeping on the couch was easier and less painful as she grabbed the throw off the back of the sofa and covered herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spike. Can you do it again?" Oz asked as Spike walked into the Bronze.

"I guess. Been doing this alot lately. What's going on?" Spike asked as Oz handed him the new lyrics.

"Devon is getting into the booze and drugs, heavier than before. Can't really rely on him much anymore." Oz said.

"He in rehab?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, he'll be there for a few months. You up for it?" Oz asked.

"Sure. Got nothin better to do." Spike said shrugging.

"We have a gig in L.A. next weekend. Can you be ready?" Oz asked taking a drink from his water.

"Few extra practices, yeah I can be ready." Spike said.

"First practice is now." Ox said. "I we recorded the new songs lastnight. You can take a listen and see what we're trying for." Oz said as he walked over and played the recording.

An hour later the rest of the band showed up grabbed their instuments and they all began practicing the newer songs.

Spike sang as they all played, giving everything they had.

By the end of the week they had the songs down with some changes made to them.

They even started writing the music to go with a song Spike had penned. They didn't have enough time to finish it before the show in L.A. but they could finish it when they got back.

Xander and Cordelia and Faith and Angel all drove down together to catch the show.

It had been a huge success. The owner of the club booked them for the following weekend at one of his other clubs.

The entire drive back the band was still bouncing from the crowd as they laughed and talked.

Even Oz broke and laughed. It was a small laugh, but it was a laugh.

Spike was about to climb out of the van when Oz stopped him.

"Would you consider joining the band. Taking over for Devon?"

"He'll be back." Spike replied.

"Yeah. Thing is, this isn't the first time. It won't be the last. We need some one who enjoys it, but takes it seriously like a business too." Oz said. "It was only a matter of time."

"Can I think about it and get back to you?" Spike asked.

"Yeah. Take your time. Just let me know befoe the end of summer." Oz said as Spike nodded and closed the door.

Spike stood there watching Oz drive off. He turned and went up the walk to the house. Instead of going in he sat on the step and pulled out a smoke, lighting it and inhaling deeply.

He just watched the darkened street in front of him in silence while he thought about Oz's offer.

He's always played guitar. His dad started teaching him when he was four, took to it easily and fell in love with it from the first moment.

He would play in clubs back home once in awhile with his mates, but none of them had actually thought about doing this for a living. They just enjoyed playing on occassion. They all had different ideas for there future. Hell Spike had always planned on studying journalism.

But playing with the band over the last while, he was seeing things differently.

He never thought he'd live anywhere but home. Now, he wasn't sure.

He continued to mull over his thoughts awhile longer before crushing his smoke with his boot heel and going into the house.

It was late. Spike knew it was too late to call her. He just wanted to hear her voice before he went to sleep.

Spike picked up the phone and dialed hoping his father wouldn't answer.

"Mm Hmm." Buffy said as she groggily place the phone to her ear.

"Hey luv." Spike said quietly.

Buffy bolted upright, waking up quickly. "Spike? Are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

"No worries luv. I'm fine. Just wanted to hear your voice is all." Spike replied.

"It's so late Spike. Are you sure you're okay." Buffy asked.

"Just got some things to think about is all." Spike replied.

"Serious things?" Buffy asked.

"Life altering." Spike said.

"Wanna talk abbout it?" Buffy replied leaning back against the headboard.

"I don't wanna keep you up. Just wanted to hear you." Spike said softly.

"I want you to keep me." Buffy replied just as softly.

"You'll have to tell me that again someday." Spike said tenderly.

There was a minute of silence before Spike started telling her about Oz and the band and the offer he was given tonight.

Buffy sat and listened to Spike intently, catching words he never even said. She could feel the anxiety and excitement radiating off of him over the phone. She could hear his doubts just from his tone of voice.

"Is this something you want to do with your life?" Buffy asked when he finished speaking.

"I don't know. Music wasn't something I had planned on going into. It was a hobby." Spike said leaning his head back against the wall.

"When you're up there, singing to the crowd. How do you feel?" Buffy asked.

Spike smiled. "It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I don't think I've ever felt anything like that. Nothing could ever compare." Spike said remembering the feeling earlier tonight.

"There's your answer Spike." Buffy replied.

"You think I should do it?" Spike asked.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do. This decision.......this is your chance to decide what you want....really want for your life. Either way you choose, it has to be your choice." Buffy replied.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Spike agreed.

"I'll be there either way." Buffy said with a small smile.

"Thanks luv." Spike said chuckling slightly. "Get some sleep baby. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay. You get some sleep too. You don't have to decide right now. Give yourself some time okay." Buffy replied.

"Will do." Spike replied.

"Night Spike." Buffy said.

"Night Buffy." Spike said waiting and hanging up when he heard the click on the other end.

Spike went upstairs to his room and sat on the edge of the bed. He grabbed her picture from his table and looked at it smiling as his finger traced the outline of face and neck.

After a few minutes he put the picture back on the table and stripped his clothes of, dropping them to the floor.

He pulled back the comforter as he climbed in and covered up.

His eyes slowly closed as he drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike sat in the library the next day filling out all the college applications Giles had sent him a couple months before. When he finished he just sat back and looked at the small stack of envelopes. He was already guarenteed entrance to Yale. To look at him from his appearance you would never guess that he was graduating top of his class. He eventually picked up his belongings and left the library, going straight to his locker he put his letter on the shelf and grabbed a couple of books before closing it and going to the next class.

Buffy sat on the sofa watching the blank screen for a few minutes before getting up and grabbing her cell phone from her purse.

She slowly dialed the number and hit send then brought the phone to her ear and waited for Spike to answer.

Spike looked at the ringing phone for about three rings before answering it, knowing it was Buffy.

They were the only ones that had each others numbers. The phones were only bought for them to keep in touch privately.

"Hello luv." Spike said softly, nervously rolling a cigarette between his fingers.

"Hey." Buffy replied with a trembling voice.

"How are you?" Spike asked quietly.

"I'm good. You?" Buffy replied while she fidgeted on the sofa.

"Fine I suppose." Spike replied raking his fingers through his hair.

"I watched the tape. A few minutes ago,I watched it." Buffy said as she toyed with a string on the sofa.

"Yeah." Spike replied waiting for her to continue.

"I can't." Buffy replied quietly.

Spike's heart fell as he closed his eyes.

"Can't or won't?" Spike asked as his voice became gravelly.

"I can't do it Spike. Not right now and not this way." Buffy replied.

"So you don't want to be with me." Spike said as he slumped back against the chair.

"What? No, that's not it. I do want to be with you. But I don't want to say how I feel about you on the phone. The first time I say those words....................I want to be able to see you. Hold you. I want to be able to see your eyes when I tell you." Buffy said quietly.

Spike smiled as he laid his head back.

"Alright, we'll wait. But I do." Spike said just as quietly.

"So do I." Buffy replied.

They both sat silent on the phone for a minute before Spike broke the silence.

"Buffy luv, I have to go right now. We were in the middle of practice when you called. Can I call you tonight?" Spike asked.

"Any time Spike. You know that." Buffy replied.

"Okay. Talk to you in a few hours." Spike said.

"Bye." Buffy said quietly waiting to hear the dial tone before hanging up.

Buffy watched as Willow came back into the livingroom about a half an hour later.

"So.........how'd it go?" Willow asked as she sat back beside Buffy.

"I didn't tell him. I wanted to wait until I saw him." Buffy replied.

"I can understand that." Willow said supportively.

"Wanna watch the tape again?" Willow said grabbing the remote.

"Oz looked good." Buffy said quietly looking at Willow.

"Yeah he did." Willow replied sighing.

"Okay let's watch it. But fast forward over the ho please." Buffy said as she grabbed the pillow and sat it on her lap hugging it while she watched the tape rewind.

"Fast forward on the ho, got it." Willow replied as she hit play.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike rested the phone on his forehead as he closed his eyes and leaned his head forward slightly as he breathed deeply, gritting his teeth.

He knew how she felt. She had said it, but not in the words he wanted to hear. He told her he would wait. But he really wanted, needed to hear it. He was terrified he was making a mistake trusting her, letting her in completely. Laying his heart out there on the line. It's not something he'd been willing to do before. He always kept them at arms length. He was honest with them and told them where they stood with him, but always keeping them at a distance.

She was different though. He knew it from the first time they talked on the phone. Could feel it in his blood. She was the one for him, but what if she decided he wasn't the one for her.

"C'mon Spike let's go." Oz shouted from the other room pulling Spike out of his thoughts.

Spike shoved the phone in his pocket and pushed himself off the wall. Taking a deep breath and plastering on a smile he walked into the other room to join his bandmates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Willow put the new clipping from the paper in the photo album they had bought. Faith had started sending clippings from various newspapers on the reveiws the band had been getting. Buffy and Willow had gone put and grabbed an album and kept it just for this purpose.

"They're getting alot of reveiws now." Willow said putting the next clipping into the album.

"Yeah they seem to be. They're always booked on the weekends now." Buffy replied.

"Oz said they have to turn some down because of school. Spike refuses to play during the week until school is over." Willow said.

"So you and Oz are back together now. You talk all the time." Buffy said inserting another clipping.

"Well, we're still talking. But I think soon, I really miss him." Willow replied.

"Soon we'll get to see them." Buffy said quietly.

Willow just nodded.

"What are you gonna do when we come back here to go to school? Do you think it'll happen with Oz again?" Buffy asked wondering what'll happen when her and Spike continue to be separated.

"No. I don't think it'll happen again. I actually understand in a way why it happened. Not that I agree with it, but I understand." Willow said.

"He cheated Will. I don't know if I could be that forgiving." Buffy stated softly.

"I don't think you'll ever have to worry about that. At least I hope not. Spike is very attentive with you and you haven't even seen each other face to face yet. It's a little different with me and Oz. We've been together since we were fourteen Buffy. We were each others firsts in everything. This was the first time we've really been apart. We've never known what it's really like out there, or what it would be like with anyone else. Sometimes things happen for a reason, I think if we can get past this, it'll make our relationship stronger than it ever was." Willow replied.

"I hope you're right Will. I just dn't want to see you get hurt again." Buffy replied.

"Sometimes you have to take the risk and fight for it, if it's what you really want." Willow said as she got up from the table and went to the counter and poured another cup of coffee.

"How are you gonna cope with Spike playing all the time whle you're here going to school?" Willow asked.

"Same as now I suppose. The phone will be my best friend. That and when he's not playing, I'm guessing he'll be coming here for visits." Buffy said.

"Yeah I imagine Oz will do the same." Willow said.

Willow moved over to pick up the phone when it started ringing.

"Hello." Willow said as she brought the phone to her ear.

A smile lit her face. "Oz, hey, how.........................what? No way..........Oh my god. That's great baby, I'm so happy for you. This is so amazing."

Willow said excitedly as she bounced up and down.

Buffy got up and went to her side.

"You did? That's so sweet.................I love you too." Willow said into the phone as she wiped away a tear. "Hold on a sec, I wanna tell Buffy." Willow said as she lowered the phone slightly.

"Tell me what?" Buffy said quickly as she smiled back at Willow.

"There was a producer in the audience when they played lastnight. He's been hearing about them, wanted to hear what they sound like and just walked in and listened with the rest of the crowd. He called Oz just before he called me, he wanted me to be the first to know. They just got offered a contract." Willow said as she and Buffy screamed and hugged one another.

"So Spike doesn't know yet?" Buffy said as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"No not yet." Willow said doing the same.

"I'll get my phone. I wanna hear his voice when Oz gives him the news." Buffy said as she started to leave the kitchen.

"Wait Buffy.....Oz you have three way calling right?" Willow asked.

"Yeah I do." Oz replied.

"Buffy wants to hear you give Spike the news." Willow replied.

"Okay, just give me a minute." Oz replied as he started dialing.

"Buffy, quick, pick up the extension." Willow said.

Buffy ran to the living room and grabbed the phone.

"Okay, I'm here." Buffy replied.

"Okay." Oz said as he brought them back on the line. "He'll pick up in a minute."

They waited for three rings before the phone was picked up.

"Hello." Joyce said.

"Hey Mrs. Summers. Is Spike around?" Oz asked as Willow and Buffy stayed quiet in the background.

"I'll get him. Just a minute." Joyce said as she put the phone down.

A minute later they could hear footsteps coming closer to the phone.

"Better be good mate. You're interrupting my beauty sleep." Spike replied grumpily.

"Hey Spike. Don't worry I think you'll ba happy to hear this." Oz replied.

"Well out with it then, pillows calling my name." Spike said as he sat down in the chair.

"There was a producer at the show lastnight. He offered us a contract." Oz replied monotonely.

"You're shitting me." Spike said as his mouth dropped open and stood up real fast, knocking the chair over.

"I shit you not. How does that make you feel?" Oz said as a smile curved his lips.

They sat listening to silence for a minute before Spike finally replied.

"It's really happeneing isn't it?" Spike asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah Spike. It's really happening." Oz replied.

Buffy, Willow and Oz all pulled the phone away from their ears when Spike dropped the phone and started laughing and screaming.

They all started laughing as they listened to him carry on.

"Spike what's going on?" Joyce asked running into the living room.

"Mum." Spike said as he picked her up and spun her around.

"William put me down." Joyce said laughing at his behaivior.

"We got a contract mum. We're gonna get signed to a record deal." Spike said setting her down.

:Congratulations." Joyce said as she hugged him tightly.

"Thanks mum." Spike said. "Oh bugger. I left Oz hanging on the phone." Spike said as he went back over and picked the phone up off the floor.

"As soon as you get off the phone call your father and then I'm taking you out for lunch." Joyce said as she went upstairs.

"Okay sounds good." Spike said as he brought the phone back to his ear.

"Sorry about that." Spike said to Oz.

"Don't be man. That was my reaction too." Oz replied.

"Really?" Spike asked as his brows furrowed.

"Well on the inside anyway." Oz replied.

"I have to call dad. Buffy should be home now, I wanna call her first." Spike said quickly.

"I'm right here baby." Buffy said speaking up for the first time.

"Luv, is that you?" Spike asked suprised to hear her voice.

"It's me. Oz called and told Willow. I wanted to be there when he told you, since I couldn't this was the next best thing." Buffy replied.

"I'm so glad you're here luv. I'm so happy right now, I wish you were standing right here beside me." Spike replied.

"So do I." Buffy said. "I'm so proud of you Spike."

"Look I know I said I was gonna wait, but I changed my mind. You don't have to say it back." Spike said forgetting that there were other people on the line.

"I love you." Buffy said softly before Spike had a chance to continue.

Spike's breath caught in his throat when he heard her say it.

"Say it again." Spike asked just above a whisper.

"I love you. I wanna see you so bad it's killing me Spike." Buffy replied.

"I love you Buffy. So much. It's so hard not being able to see you." Spike turned around when he heard the sound of breaking glass.

When he turned he saw Joyce standing in the doorway heading to the kitchen with a broken tea cup on the floor, staring at him with eyes the size of saucers.

"What was that?" Buffy asked.

"Uh.....that would be mum....standing right here." Spike said worriedly.

"Oh god." Buffy winced.

"Uh, I gotta go. Talk to you later Oz." Willow said quickly as she hung up.

"What the hell is going on between you and my daughter? How is it even possible?" Joyce said heatedly.

'Uh mum..........Joyce........Mrs. Summers, it's not........

"Guys, I really don't think I should be here for this, but if I hang up, your call is over too." Oz said.

"Spike hang up, I'll call mom right now. You call your dad on your cell. Might as well come clean." Buffy said.

"Okay luv." Spike replied turning his attenton to the phone.

"Love you." Buffy replied.

"Love you too baby." Spike said as they hung up.

Spike nervously went to his jacket and grabbed his phone as Joyce started coming to where he was but stopped when the phone began to ring.

"Now mom, don't go over reacting." Buffy said immediately when Joyce picked up the phone.

"I hardly think I'm over reacting Buffy. You don't even know each other. How long has this been going on? Why am I just finding out about it? Were you ever planning on telling me?" Joyce asked consecutavely.

"For awhile. Because we never told you. And yes I was." Buffy answered.

"Why didn't you want to tell me?" Joyce asked.

"I didn't think you'd approve for one. Two. Because we wanted to figure out how we felt before we told you and Giles. Three. We wanted to see each other first, spend some time, then tell you." Buffy replied.

"Well you're right, I don't approve." Joyce said.

"Why?" Buffy asked.

"You don't know one another." Joyce stated.

"Yes mom. We do. We've spent the better part of a year talking on the phone. Hours at a time mom. We've talked about almost everything. I'm in love with him mom." Buffy said quietly. "Tell me he's bad for me and I'll walk away. But if I find out later you were wrong, I'll never forgive you." Buffy added.

Joyce sighed as she sat down on the chair and looked at Spike raking his finger through his hair while he was having the same conversation with his father.

"I can't. I don't agree with you on this Buffy. But I won't tell you he's not a good person. He's a very fine young man. I think you should wait until your done college before you go into a serious relationship." Joyce let out a long breath. "If he loves you that much, he'd be willing to wait."

"He would if I asked him too." Buffy replied.

"I can see I can't talk you out of this." Joyce replied.

"No, you can't." Buffy stated.

"So that was the reason you wanted to get back to London over the holidays." Joyce said shaking her head.

"Yeah, kinda backfired on me though." Buffy said chuckling.

Joyce smiled and shook her head.

"Are you sure you want this Buffy?" Joyce asked quietly watching Spike defending himself to Giles.

"Yeah I am. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more." Buffy replied.

"How does Spike feel about you going to school so far away?" Joyce asked.

"He was really happy for me mom. He keeps telling me how proud he is of me. He'll be visiting as often as he can until I graduate." Buffy said smiling.

Joyce smiled as she looked at Spike who had the look of frustration on his face as he continues his battle with his father.

"I think I was wrong. For what it's worth you have my approval." Joyce replied.

"Thank you mom. It means alot." Buffy replied.

Buffy and Joyce winced slightly when they heard a string of curse flying from Spikes mouth.

"Buffy I think Spike looks like he's going to explode. I think I'm gonna exchange phones and try and calm Rupert down." Joyce said

"Thanks mom. And mom...........I love you." Buffy said.

"I love you too honey." Joyce said then set the phone down.

Joyce slowly walked over to wher Spike was sitting on the couch.

One of her hands reached over and held his hand that held his phone to his ear. Her other hand went to the underside of his chin, using some force to raise his head to face her. She saw his eyes starting to fill with water and a slightly ashamed look on his face.

Joyce smiled as she pulled the phone away from his ear and cupped his cheek.

"She's waiting on the other phone for you." Joyce said softly as she wiped away a tear the fell down his cheek.

"My dad, I haven't ............" Spike said as his voice cracked.

"I'll talk to your father. Go." Joyce said nuging him.

Spike nodded as slowly walked over to the other phone and picked it up.

"Rupert." Joyce said as she brought the phone to her ear and walked out of the living room through the kitchen out to the backyard closing the door behind her.

"I'm guessing it didn't go over well." Buffy said as Spike picked up the phone.

"It's fine luv." Spike said with a gravelly voice.

"No it's not. Was he really mad?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, and concerned. He had every right to be." Spike replied.

"Did he think I was bad for you?" Buffy asked quietly.

"No luv, it didn't have anything to do with you. He adores you Buffy. He was concerned about you." Spike replied.

"Why would he be concerned about me?" Buffy asked slightly confused.

Spike drew in a few unsteady breaths before he answered.

"He thought I was going to treat you the same way I treated the other girls I had been with." Spike replied honestly as he closed his eyes and waited for her response.

Buffy was quiet on the other end of the phone.

When it was apparent Buffy wan't going to say anything Spike began to Speak.

"You still there luv?" Spike asked.

"I' m here." Buffy replied quietly.

"I never lied to them Buffy. They knew what they were getting into with me. When they wanted more, I would always break it off. I was always on my guard around them. You're the only one that never made me feel that way. I feel like I can trust you and I never allowed myself to trust anyone before." Spike said.

"Anyone or just girlfriends?" Buffy asked.

"Women in general." Spike replied as his head leaned back against the wall.

"Why?" Buffy asked.

Spike got up quickly and started pacing around agitatedly.

"I........ I can't.....I don't want to talk about it. It's not something that...I'm sorry, I'm not ready to talk about it. It may be a long time before I am." Spike stated.

"You don't trust me." Buffy said.

"Yes I do. Buffy this has nothing to do with you. It's something I have to work out for myself. I'm just not ready to talk about it. With you or anyone." Spike said ending the line of conversation.

"Okay." Buffy said backing off of the subject.

"Do you still want to be with me?" Spike asked whispering as he held his breath and his body shook.

"Yes." Buffy replied with out hesitation.

"When I'm ready, I'll tell you." Spike said slowly.

"I can wait. I'll wait forever if I have too." Buffy replied.

"I love you." Spike replied huskily as his voice trembled.

"I love you too." Buffy replied.

"When I get you in my arms, I'm never letting go." Spike said.

"Neither will I." Buffy replied as she wiped a tear away.