Friends, Lovers, or Both

Ch. 4 (<< indicates dream sequence>>)

Dawn wandered over to Spike, and slipped her arm around him. He turned and smiled into her hair. Dawn looked up into his eyes, and wanted to cry at the love she saw there. She knew it had to be hard for Spike to keep secret about the baby, but he had to. Spike smiled as he caught a whiff of the Nibblet’s scent, raspberries. God, he loved her, almost as much as Buffy. He’d do anything for her, but standing by, not being able to touch Buffy, to feel his baby’s heart beating in her tummy was killing him.

“You know, Buffy, that soup isn’t going to levitate into your mouth. You have to actually pick the spoon up.” Dawn remarked.

Buffy had to shake off the sudden spurt of jealousy that overcame her. It was so easy for Dawn to love Spike freely; with no care for whether it was wrong or right. Buffy shook her head at them.

“She used to be so sweet before she met you. Now, she’s just a carbon copy.” Spike and Dawn grinned broadly. Dawn blushed.

“Thanks, Buffy.” She chirped before joining her sister on the couch. She took Buffy’s feet and placed them in her lap.

“Spike, I need a favor.” Buffy quietly asked. He arched a black eyebrow at her. She hadn‘t said a word since Xander left, and he was beginning to wonder if she was visiting La-La land again.

“No fighting with Xander. He‘s has been through a rough time of it. I...I know you don‘t owe me anything, but ..” Spike waved his hand.

“Consider it done, Luv. I won‘t aggravate the whelp, but if he starts something with me, I can‘t promise I‘m going to keep my mouth shut.”

“I know that would be a Herculean feat, Spike, but try.” Buffy teased. “He’s not thinking rationally, and he’s lashing out at the easiest target. It’s not fair to you. I know that.” Spike heard the sincerity in her voice, and it shocked and pleased him. “We have to work together. We’re a team.” Spike eyed Buffy warily.

“We’re a team?” He asked disbelieving. “Since when? Last time, I checked, luv, ol’ Spikey wasn’t allowed to play with the Scoobies.”

Buffy had the grace to look shamed. “I know, and I‘m trying to change that.” She replied, slowly getting agitated with him. She tried to sit up, but the tray was in her way.

“Here, Buff, let me take that for you.” Dawn slid Buffy’s feet out of her lap, and bent to pick up the tray. The soup and crackers all but forgotten. “I’ll take this to the kitchen.” She hustled out of the room, totally intent on stalling Xander.

Spike strode over to the sofa and knelt at Buffy’s side. “You never answered my question, Buffy. Why the sudden change in attitude?”

He wanted, no needed her to tell him about the baby. He wasn‘t strong like her, he couldn’t deny his feelings.

“Buffy, just tell me.” He cajoled. “Have you changed your mind about us?” Buffy swallowed past the lump in her throat. He had changed right in front of her. Gone was the defensive attitude. In its place was the vulnerable, open man he kept hidden. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him. I‘m pregnant. We‘re having a baby. But the words wouldn‘t come out.

“I‘m just concerned about all of us. Warren is dangerous. We can‘t fight him, if we‘re fighting each other.”

Her hand went to her stomach, in a gesture Spike noticed was becoming a habit.

“I’ll look after the whelp, Buffy. You don’t need to worry about him. All you need to do.” He said as he reached out tentatively and placed his hand over hers. “Is to get better.”

He smiled as he felt the tiny heart beating rapidly. Buffy teared up. Can you feel our child, Spike? She wanted to ask, then paused at the possibility. Could he feel the baby? Buffy pulled his face closer to hers, studying his eyes, trying to see the truth. All she saw was his love for her. Lord, those eyes could melt an iceberg.

“Did I thank you for all you did today for me, for Dawn?”

Spike’s blue eyes twinkled with laughter. “Ah, no, Pet, I don’t think you did. In fact, you were a bit snarky in the kitchen earlier.”

“I was not. I was hungry and tired. You know how I am when I haven’t eaten.” Buffy huffed, looking down at their hands entwined. Now, when had that happened?

“Spike, I can’t..” Spike placed a finger to her lips, stopping her from going on.

“I know, Slayer, I’ve heard it before. Got that speech painted to memory.” He stood up abruptly, but Buffy’s reflexes were faster, and she yanked him back down.

“God, you’re such an ass. You don’t know everything, damnit.” Her green eyes glittered with desire, anger, and annoyance. The usual emotions she felt around him.

“I can’t thank you for all you’ve done. You didn’t have to...after what I did.” God, she was going to cry.

She heard Spike tsk tsk as his hand moved slowly around her waist. She shouldn’t. They shouldn’t. Xander was in the kitchen. She needed him. She wanted to feel him against her. Her hands traced a familiar path up his arms, his shoulders. Her fingers dove into his hair and pulled him to her.

Their mouths met and fused. This kiss wasn’t like the one from earlier. This one was about longing and possession. Buffy whimpered as she felt Spike’s tongue slide along her lips. Her mouth opened and the world went technicolor. Spike’s tongue battled hers, stroking its length. Buffy felt dizzy from sensory overload. Spike wasn’t faring much better. The sound of Buffy’s heartbeat was intoxicating enough, but the baby’s heartbeat was his undoing. He pulled back. It was all too much. Buffy’s eyes were still closed her lips full and lush. “What?“ She murmured still lost in the kiss. Spike was about to say he knew, when he heard Dawn’s hacking cough. The opportunity was lost. He kissed Buffy one final time and stood up quickly as Xander walked back into the room, his hands stuck in his pockets. He didn’t look Buffy in the eye, but shuffled his feet.

“Buff, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll stop by before going to work to make sure everything’s okay.”

Buffy tried to catch his eye. “Xander, everything ok? Tara didn’t burn the pizza, did she?”

“No, she’s cutting some slices for Dawn.”

“Bye, Spike. See ya later.” Dawn screamed from the kitchen. Spike rubbed his ear. Damn, that girl could scream.

Buffy slowly stood up. She gave both men a threatening look as they reached out to help her.

“Be safe. I want you to be extra careful. Warren‘s a psycho, and he‘s desperate. You find out anything. You bring it back to me, and the gang will decide how to act. Okay?”

Buffy ordered, but her desire to appear authoritative was ruined once again by her sleeping attire. The blue clouds on her pajama bottoms kinda negated her strength.

“Laugh, Spike, and Dawn will be sweeping you up.” Spike grinned at the threat, knowing full well she wouldn’t kill him.

“You keep threatening Slayer, but you never seem to follow through.” He said, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. Once again, Xander was a spectator to the Spike and Buffy comedy hour.

“If you two are finished with your usual threats, could we get this evening started? Not looking forward to spending the next hour with the Peroxide Blond.”

Xander hugged Buffy, and whispered in her ear to call him if she needed him. Buffy smiled into his neck. Buffy quickly stole a glance at Spike. She could tell he hated seeing her with Xander. She shouldn’t enjoy his jealousy, but she did. She hoped he felt a little of what she’d felt upon seeing that ho-biscuit wrapped around him like a second skin.

Spike turned away in disgust. Buffy watched him go, and it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to ‘be careful’, but she didn’t. For one, Spike would know something was up and he’d hound her till she either told him the truth or beat him to a bloody pulp. Two, she knew he could take care of himself. He was the one boyfriend she didn’t have to worry about. Boyfriend?! Buffy slammed her hand against her temple. She could feel a mind-numbing headache coming on, and she welcomed it. This is ridiculous! Damn hormones were making her all weepy and mushy. It’s not the baby. It’s you. Face it! God, she hated that part of her that reveled in loving Spike. Buffy gasped and her eyes widened in shock.

“Buffy?” Xander asked concerned. Uh-oh. “I’m fine, just remembered I didn’t call in sick to work.” He seemed to believe her and took off down the front walk after Spike.

Tara came up behind her, and closed the door. “Hello, Buffy? You in there?” Dawn asked around a mouthful of pizza. Tara was also looking at her strangely.

“It’s nothing. Just got lost in a thought. I think I need to sit down.” Buffy walked gingerly to the sofa and sank down in the soft cushions. If I just forget about it, it won’t be true. You love Spike! Nanny, nanny, boo, boo! There were times she wished that part of her was solid, so she could pounce it into the ground.

Buffy absently stroked Dawn’s hair as she sat on the floor.

"So, Buffy, how’s the baby? Are you feeling better?" Dawn still couldn’t believe she was going to be an aunt."

Buffy looked down fondly at her stomach. "Yeah, mini-me has stopped torturing Mommy for the moment. I think the worst may be over.”

Tara climbed on the sofa next to Buffy. Buffy squeezed her hand tightly, grateful for having her as her friend.

"I wouldn’t have gotten through the last week without the two of you. I.. I can’t put into words how much I love you both." It constantly amazed her that her friends and family didn’t run screaming from her. Her life was so confusing and frustrating. There were few bright moments, but they stayed, and she was grateful.

“We love you, too, Buffy.”

"So, how did things go with Spike? Did you tell him about the baby?" Dawn knew Buffy hadn’t, but she just wanted to be sure.

"No, I didn’t tell him, but I got the strangest feeling he knew." Tara and Dawn exchanged secretive glances.

"Uh, why? Did he say something?" Tara asked, afraid.

"No, it wasn’t anything he said. It was just a feeling. He put his hand on my stomach. I know vamps can sense blood and heartbeats, but this baby’s heartbeat can’t be that strong yet? Right?" She innocently asked Tara.

"I’m sure he doesn’t know anything Buffy?" Tara answered guiltily. "If he knew, do you really think he would have left, Buff?" Dawn asked, sensing Tara’s distress. She had no problem whatsoever lying to Buffy. Buffy had lied to all of them about Spike, so in her mind, turnabout was fair play.

“No, you’re right. My hormones are going wacky. Just ignore me. I’m just super-sensitive.” Buffy said modestly.

“So what’s the game plan for Willow? She’ll be back tomorrow." Dawn asked as she played with the fringe of Buffy’s worn pajama bottoms.

Buffy rolled her head back, the muscles in her neck stiff and sore. She rubbed the back of her neck, and wished again for a set of strong, pale fingers to ease the tension. "Well, I don’t plan on saying anything to her. Not yet. I will, but I have to know why I became pregnant in the first place."

Tara slowly nodded her head. "You think Willow’s spell might have altered something in you.?" Dawn asked, concerned. Buffy knew it was time to tell Dawn the truth.

“It did change me, Dawnie. We,“ referring to Tara, “thought it wasn’t anything serious, but obviously it was.” Buffy paused, giving Dawn some time to absorb what she’d just be told.

“Slayers don’t have a long life expectancy, and there’s never been any record of a Slayer having a child." Dawn and Tara gave her matching looks of pity. "So why am I pregnant?”

"Even if it’s a given that Slayers will die, Buffy, what makes you think you can’t have children?" Dawn asked. She moved away from Buffy so she could see her. "There could have been Slayers with children. We don’t know for sure, and you know the Watchers Council wouldn’t give you that kind of positive information."

"Dawn’s right, Buffy. It’s definitely worth checking out." Tara thought Dawn’s idea had merit. "But Buffy, that brings us back to Willow. She would know how to hack into the Watchers’ files and get that information. After their last visit here, I don’t trust them to tell us the truth."

"I don’t trust them at all, Tara. They are a bunch of vile people playing god with my life. Giles, excluded, of course."

Buffy couldn’t help it. They were willing to sacrifice young girls to their cause. Just because their cause was righteous, didn’t make them any less evil. She suddenly felt an overwhelming fear for her child.

"Buffy, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?" Tara saw the blood rush from Buffy’s face, leaving her ashen-faced. Her eyes were huge and tears could be seen forming.

"They’ll take the baby. I know they will. Spike and I won’t be able to protect her." Buffy said in a rush. Her throat ached with the need to scream. "They can’t take her. They can’t ever know who her father is." Buffy screamed frantically. Dawn jumped up and pulled Buffy into her arms.

"Buffy, we won’t let them take the baby. Spike will never let them take the baby."

Tara moved closer to Buffy, and all three girls hugged each other tightly. "We have to find out the truth of this pregnancy, Tara. You have to help me find out the truth." Buffy said when she finally composed herself. "Whatever the real reason behind this pregnancy is, I have to know, Tara."

"Of course, Buffy.“ She said rubbing Buffy’s back. “First things first, we need to determine how many months along you are. That’ll go a long way in narrowing down the search for a prophecy or a spell of some kind."

"A prophecy? You really think Buffy’s pregnancy was foretold in an ancient text?“ Dawn sat mesmerized on the edge of the sofa, Buffy’s hand held tightly in her grasp. “That makes sense, Tara, everything else in my life has been prophesized.”

"First and foremost is finding an OB. Do you know of anyone, Buffy?” Buffy shook her head.

“I’ve got my gyno, but I really don’t want him to know. We still don’t know if this kid will be human.”

“What about a demon doctor? I’ve heard about a woman who’s part Succubi, part human. She works with both the demon and human worlds.”

"I don’t want every demon, one blond haired vamp, in particular to know I’m pregnant." Buffy said sternly. “If I were seen going to her, then eventually someone would find out.”

Tara snapped her fingers together. “I know of someone. Her name is Dr. Schulz. She’s Wicca. She’s a member of my coven, Buffy.”

Buffy knew Tara wouldn’t have suggested the woman if she didn’t trust her, but she had to worry about her child now. Its safety was her biggest concern.

"Ok. When do you think you can get me in to see her?"

“I’ll have to call her and ask. If it’s okay, Buffy, I’ll give her some of the details, not too many, though.“ Tara stood up and rummaged around in her bag. She pulled out her little address book, and went to the phone to call. Dawn reached out and pushed Buffy’s hair out of her face.

"Buffy, everything is going to be fine. We won’t let anybody take the baby, demon or human." Buffy smiled at her sister, and rested her head on her thigh.

"I know, Dawn, but I’m worried. This kid didn’t ask to come into this world, and she didn’t ask to have Spike and me as parents." She said.

Dawn giggling made Buffy look up at her in surprise. "What?"

"You keep referring to the baby as a girl and I was thinking she was going to have it rough with Spike as her dad." At Buffy’s questioning look, she amended her statement.

"Not saying he won’t be great, but can we say strict. She probably won’t date till she’s 30 or something."

Buffy giggled. She could imagine Spike sitting in the living room, broadsword out, cleaning it, in front of some pimply face 15-year-old.

Tara strode back into the room, happy to see Dawn and Buffy upbeat and laughing. "I called Dr. Schulz. She’ll see us tomorrow at 10:15." She announced and plopped back down on the sofa.

"Thanks, Tara." Buffy covered her mouth as she yawned. "Oh. My. Sorry." She said embarrassed. "I guess that’s my cue to go to bed." It was still early, around 8, but she could barely keep her eyes open. All the stress and pain of the day finally catching up with her.

"Come on, let’s get you to bed Buff." Dawn offered her hand to help Buffy stand. "I guess this is practice for when you’re too big to move on your own." Buffy playfully swatted at her.

"Hey, respect your elders, missy. Dawn, you’ve got school tomorrow, so don’t stay up too late. In bed, by 11. Okay?" Dawn nodded, happy to have Tara to hang out with.

"Tara, you are staying tonight, aren’t you?" Tara nodded.

"I was planning on it. I might run home and pick up a change of clothes, but I’ll be right back." Buffy yawned again.

"Why don’t you take Dawn with you? She’s been cooped up with me all weekend." Dawn’s eyes lit up. Maybe, she could convince Tara to stop for ice cream. Dawn looked at Tara, silently begging to go.

"Okay, but hurry." Dawn ran to her room and grabbed her jacket. She was back downstairs in a flash. She kissed Buffy goodnight.

"I’ll be fine, Tara. Just wake me when you get in, so I’ll know you’re safe." Buffy watched them until they were safely in the car. She closed the door, and locked it.


By silent agreement, Xander and Spike had kept all conversation to a minimum. They avoided talking about Buffy and Anya. Xander kept stealing glances at Spike, sizing him up. Spike was doing the same thing. He had made a promise to Buffy and he planned on keeping it. He wouldn’t let the whelp’s insecurities and misguided loyalty draw him into a fight. Spike had every intention of sweeping the cemeteries and then heading back to Buffy’s before she went to sleep. They needed to talk.

"Buffy said she was checking this place out when the Gurlash.. the whatever demon attacked her." Xander pointed ahead to a single-level house up the street on the left. Spike scanned the area. Something wasn’t right. He felt a demon nearby, but where, he wondered.

"Spike, did you hear me?" Xander asked, pissed at being forced to patrol with Spike in the first place. Spike held up his hand, silencing him. Xander cocked the crossbow when he noticed Spike had gone into game face. He took up a defensive position at Spike’s back.

"Careful whelp, don’t much feel like getting staked by the likes of you." Xander fell into the easy combat banter the two had previously shared.

"Well, I figure the demon can kill you, then I’ll kill it. Two birds, one stone." They continued down the street towards the house. As they approached it, a slimy gray monster with 3 huge blinking eyes jumped from behind a tree.

Both Xander and Spike came up short, ready for a fight.

"Blood hell, a Sihtam demon!" Xander’s finger slid down to the trigger, and stroked it, waiting for the monster to attack. Spike regarded the demon with disdain.

"Look, mate, we don’t have a quarrel with you. You go your way, and we’ll go ours, and nobody gets hurt." Xander was shocked. Spike wasn’t one to back down from a fight. This demon must be pretty powerful.

"I can’t believe you’re scared of this thing, Spike." Xander laughed.

"I’m not. Sihtam demons are amphibious. They can’t survive out of water for very long. Either there is a new breed or this isn’t one." Spike explained.

The combatants circled each other. Jonathan was starting to freak. They hadn’t expected anyone to come by here again, but here were Spike and Xander. Jonathan wasn’t too worried about Xander, but Spike might rip his head off. He just had to stall them a few more minutes while Warren and Andrew finished loading the van.

"Spike, he’s up to something. The nerd trio is probably in the back making their escape. Let’s deal with this demon and get back there." Spike agreed, but still something nagged at the back of his mind. Something important. Something he should remember.

The only indication Xander had that Spike heard him was a quick nod, before Spike launched himself at the Sihtam. As soon as Spike landed the first punch, he gripped his head, howling in pain. The Sihtam landed a few feet away. It was obvious the creature was stunned, but he managed to get up and stagger away. Xander shot at it, striking it in the arm. Its painful bellow joined Spike’s heated curses. Lights came on in several houses, and people peered from behind curtains trying to see what was going on.

"Damnit, Spike, get your ass up. They’re getting away." Xander and Spike took off for the back. As they rounded the corner, they saw a blond man helping the Sihtam into a black van. He yelped when he saw them. The van peeled off, its tires squealing. Several items fell out the back of the van before the doors were finally closed.

Xander watched in dismay. "What the hell happened back there, Spike? Why did the chip go off?" Logic should have told him that this wasn’t the smartest question to ask, but then again this was Xander.

Spike still had his fist against his head, trying to lessen the throb.

"It was human, you nit!" Spike spat through gritted teeth. It still amazed him that this idiot was part of the reason Sunnydale and the world hadn’t been destroyed yet. A light bulb went off in Spike’s head. Of course, outside of Willie’s. He should have remembered. That night he and Buffy got drunk and went to play kitten poker they’d been attacked, sort of, by that demon. He had experienced that same weird tingling in his head, like the demon wasn’t quite demony enough. Spike kept his thoughts to himself. He would talk to Buffy about it later. He didn’t feel much like connecting the dots with the whelp.

"Don’t call me a nit!" Xander screamed back. "How was I supposed to know." Xander surveyed the various items that had fallen out of the van. He saw a heavily damaged laptop, and picked it up. Maybe, Willow can fix this. He unzipped his backpack and put it inside along with the crossbow.

Spike tested the back door, and found it unlocked. He pushed it open, carefully checking to see if Warren left any traps or such in the place.

"No wonder, Buffy thought this place was empty. They obviously weren’t living up here." Spike ran his finger over the dusty surfaces in the kitchen. They systematically checked every room and came to the same conclusion.

"Basement."

They found the door to the basement, hidden behind a fake panel. "Neat construction trick." Xander mused aloud. Spike rolled his eyes at him. "What? I’m in construction. I recognize good workmanship when I see it."

Spike found a box of pictures. They had not only been stalking Buffy; they’d been watching all of them. He found pictures of Dawn at school. Xander and Anya at the Magic Box. Willow. Tara. Him. Those bastards had even been taking pictures of him. He was furious. They had terrorized Buffy for months, tried to frame her for murder, and for what? Why did they hate her so much? She had probably saved their miserable lives several times. He picked out recent photos of her and Dawn to show her. He didn’t want to upset her, but she had to be more careful, more observant. He couldn’t watch her back 24 hours a day. If Warren and his crew did anything to harm Buffy or his child, he would make them pay, chip or no chip. Spike folded the pictures and stuffed them in his pocket.

Xander had finished his sweep of the basement and saw Spike put something in his pocket.

"What did you find, Spike?"

Spike was preoccupied with thoughts of Buffy and the baby, and he didn’t hear him. "What? Nothing."

Xander stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the pics.

"You fucking pervert!" Xander shouted and grabbed Spike by the lapel of his coat, slamming him into the wall. "Just can’t let go of this sick obsession. Buffy and Dawn will never be your family. Buffy will never love you. Dawn’s young, we can excuse her bad taste." Xander briefly thought that he should let Spike explain, but he knew his game. He wanted Buffy. Well, Xander wasn’t going to let that happen. Spike pushed Xander off of him, the chip firing in response.

"You’re an idiot, Harris. I was taking the pictures to Buffy. She needs to know they are watching her. Not that I owe you any type of explanation, but I promised Buffy I would consider your delicate feelings." He sneered sarcastically.

Snatching the photos back, he gave the room a final look. Spike took the stairs two at a time, clearly intent on leaving Xander.

"Sure you were, Spikey, but we both know…"

Xander stopped at the top of the stairs as Spike spun around to face him.

"We both know what?" Spike demanded. "That I love Dawn and Buffy. That I’d do any and everything to keep them safe. That’s what I know."

Spike flung the back door opened. He needed a cigarette. He patted his pockets searching for them. He pulled one out and as he began to light it, he realized he’d have to give these up. He couldn’t smoke around Buffy and the kid. Damnit. But a good damnit, he thought happily. He would gladly trade smoking for Buffy and his baby. He had almost put Xander out of his mind, when he felt his hand on his shoulder, yanking him to a stop.


"What now, Construction boy?" Spike wanted to get as far away from Xander. He couldn’t hurt him without bringing down the wrath of Buffy. He needed a spot of violence against some real demons to rid him of this anger he felt towards this stupid human.

Xander clenched his fist tightly.

"She doesn’t need you to protect her. She’s got real friends for that. Me. Willow. Tara. Giles. See Spikey, she needs humans, not some Army freak show that’s been forced on her." Xander laughed at the hurt he saw reflected on Spike’s face.

"What’s wrong, did I hurt Spikey’s feelings. Oh, that’s right, you don’t have any."

"No, Harris." Spike said shaking his head, sadly at him. "I just realized what this is really all about." Spike crossed his arms over his chest, the cigarette dangling from one hand.

"You still think you have a chance with Buffy. It kills you that she doesn’t look at you as being anything other than a brother, a trusted sidekick. Not a lover. Not a life partner. Just her friend." Spike lips tugged the last puff out of the butt before he flicked it away.

"She’d rather be with a demon, like me, than a human like you."

"As usual, you don’t know what you talking about." Xander said defensively. Spike noticed the change in his voice. The venom was gone. In fact, he sounded very much like a scared child whose secret had been discovered.

"Buffy’s my friend, always will be. I love Anya. She’s the woman I’m going to marry."

"Sure, whelp, you keep telling yourself that. So, is that why you’ve spent the entire time since your wedding hiding out or at Buffy’s, instead of searching for your beloved bride?" Spike clucked his tongue against the top of his mouth and sauntered away, leaving Xander to stew.

It all made perfect sense now. Harris knew about them. That’s why he’d been acting like a complete and total ass to him. The boy was jealous. It didn’t matter to him, anyway. There wasn’t a damn thing Xander could do to him and Buffy that they hadn’t already done to each other. He’d just keep this little interesting tidbit to himself. Buffy had enough on her plate right now. So, Red was the only Scoobie in the dark. Or was she? He felt better. He was still aching for a fight, so he picked up his pace and headed to the cemetery. There had to be some fledglings around to stake.

Xander stood rooted to the pavement. Spike’s taunting words whirling around inside his head. He watched Spike walk jauntily down the street, and couldn’t contain the hatred he felt for him. He pulled the crossbow out of his backpack, reloaded it quickly, and aimed it at Spike’s back. It would be so easy. Buffy and Dawn would never know. He could tell them they were attacked and alas, Spike was dusted. Things would return to normal. He lowered the crossbow as images of Dawn and Buffy devastated and destroyed assailed him. They would discover the truth and hate him for it. Spike was right. He loved Buffy, always had, but she’d never given him a second look. He was okay with that. They were friends. When Angel and Riley left her brokenhearted, he had been there to help her pick up the pieces. He would always be there for Buffy, even after this disaster with Spike played out. Why couldn’t Buffy see that these monsters were just that, monsters. Xander did a U-turn and headed towards his motel and the bottle of Gin he had there.

Anya unlocked the door to the apartment, setting her bag down on the sofa. It was great to be home, even if it was Sunnydale. She was glad she’d had the locks changed. She hadn’t wanted to face Xander when she got back. The super was under strict instructions to not allow him inside without her permission. Her name was on the lease. This was her apartment now, not theirs. She shook her head to keep from crying. She was through crying over Xander. Let his precious Buffy and Willow do that for him. She poured herself a glass of water, and went to unpack. Tomorrow she would reopen the Magic Box, and begin her new life.

<>

Spike had heard Buffy’s cries from the street. He ran quickly across the lawn, fumbling with the keys to the front door, then abandoned that idea, and made for the tree, instead. He scanned her room, and realized Buffy was in the throes of a nightmare. He shrugged off the duster and his shoes and climbed in besides her, pulling her drenched body to his. She whimpered and moaned. Her face was flush and wet from tears.

"Buffy, sweetheart, wake up. It’s just a dream."

He shook her gently. He started planting kisses in her hair, on her face. He stroked her arms and back, trying to reassure her she was safe. Her sobs quieted, and all that could be heard where tiny hiccups. She clutched his shirt tightly. Buffy opened her sleep heavy eyes, the remnants of the dream still fresh in her mind. Spike’s words were a soothing balm to her. She knew she should tell him to go, but right now, she needed to know that they were both safe. She needed to feel his cool body pressed against hers, his body sheltering their baby.

"Stay, please." Spike lifted her chin, and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Forever, if you want, luv." Buffy nodded, wiping her tears on his t-shirt. He didn’t mind.

"Go back to sleep, I’ll be here." Her breathing evened out, and he knew she’d fallen asleep again. He continued to caress her softly, his hand stroking her belly.

"It’s okay, little one, Daddy’s here. I’ll protect you and Mommy from all the bad things." He closed his eyes and let sleep claim him too. For the first time in a hundred years, he was at peace.

Starting Over

"My guess is you’re about 8 weeks along. Dr. Schulz announced as she pressed into Buffy’s stomach. Your abdomen is firm. You won’t have that flat belly for much longer. She lowered Buffy’s gown and stepped back to make notations in her file. “Do you remember the time of your last period?"

Buffy sat up on her elbows and regarded the brown-haired woman. She was in her 40s, round, very nice and pleasant. Buffy had felt at ease with her immediately upon meeting her. She was so confused right now. She cared for Spike, but she didn’t know if she could give him her heart without reservation. Last night had been perfect, save for the dream. He had held her in his arms, and she had felt safe and loved.

"You don’t have to give me an exact date."

Buffy blinked, and remembered the question Dr. Schulz had previously asked her. "My periods haven’t been regular since I got back, ah, from my vacation last summer." My vacation in heaven, Buffy mused, then realized she had a little piece of heaven growing inside of her now. "Not that they were predictable before then, but now they are totally wacky. I guess the last one was right after Thanksgiving. I can’t really remember having one this year."

"Buffy, you wouldn’t be the first woman I’ve treated who couldn’t remember having her period. It’s not something most women rejoice about." Dr. Schulz and Buffy both smiled at that. "Tara told me you are raising your teenage sister on your own. I know that must take a lot of work and time." Dr. Schulz continued.

Buffy nodded, and rolled her eyes. "You just don’t know, doctor." Then looked up, surprised, that she’d spoken that thought aloud.

"Don’t worry. I have 13 year-old twins. That’s double your pleasure, double the trouble." Dr. Schulz remarked, thinking fondly of her boys. "I’m not trying to pry, but does the father of your child know you’re expecting?"

Buffy shook her head, her eyes wide and scared. "No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even suspect I might be. We didn’t think he could…" Buffy blushed, and stammered. "You know, could get me pregnant, so we didn’t use any protection." Buffy twisted the ends of the gown together.

Dr. Schulz pulled her stool over to the examining table. "It’s alright Buffy. It’s your right to decide if and when he should know." Buffy nearly lost it at the comforting, motherly tone in Dr. Schulz’s voice.

"He loves me. He would do anything for me, for our child, I know that. When I broke it off, things weren’t good between us. I hurt him. I hurt myself, and I just don’t want to get back together for this child.” Dr. Schulz pulled a tissue out of her pocket and handed it to Buffy.

Dr. Schulz smiled. "Well, if he loves you as much as you say, maybe you can work things out. It’s obvious you care a great deal about this man.”

"It’s not that simple. Up until yesterday, I didn’t think I’d see him again." Buffy blew her nose, and smiled her thanks when Dr. Schulz handed her another tissue. "What happens say a month from now or a year? What if I’m not able to give him the love he deserves? I won’t let my child grow up in that kind of household. I did, my sister did. My baby won’t."

"You’ll never know unless you tell him. But, you do have time. Take that time, Buffy, to figure out what’s best for you, the baby, and your ex. You may surprise yourself." Dr. Schulz stood up with a smile, and picked up Buffy’s chart on the way out the door. "Go ahead and get dressed. We’ll set up your next appointment, and get you started on your prenatal vitamins."

Tara looked up from the book she was reading as Buffy and Dr. Schulz came from the back. Buffy looked like she’d been crying, but Tara could sense a peaceful aura surrounding her

"Thank you, Dr. Schulz." Buffy said as she reached for her jacket and purse. "Here’s my card, if the nausea and fever come back, and the tea doesn’t help, just call me. I’ll come over." Dr. Schulz hugged Tara good-bye, and walked away.

Tara was anxious to know what the doctor said, but wisely kept silent. "So, how about lunch? You didn’t really eat anything this morning. You must be hungry." Buffy rubbed her belly. "You know, we could use a bite of something. I’m starving, but you know a little concerned about lunch visiting me later."

Tara grimaced. "Yeah, I know, but hey, at least, you will have eaten. Come on, we’ll go to the pizza gallery, and pig out." Buffy gave her the thumbs up. "No stomach lurching, so we’re good to go."

Willow stood outside the bus station, looking up and down the street for Xander’s truck. She saw the blue Bronco turn the corner. The truck screeched to a halt, and Xander popped out, his face looking worn and tired, much more so that when she left. She guessed Anya hadn‘t returned yet.

"Hey, Will, great to have you back." Xander picked up her bag and threw it in the back seat. "Now, we can send Captain Peroxide back to where he belongs." Willow’s brow furrowed.

"What’s Spike done now?" She asked, though she really wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Xander checked his rearview mirror and pulled away from the curb.

"Oh, the usual. Harassing Buffy. Aggravating me. He just doesn’t know when to let it go. I mean, yeah, he was there for Buffy when she was sick, but there is no reason he should still be sticking around."

So what if Spike was still around. He loved Buffy. Willow thought to herself. "I’m sure he’s just trying to be helpful." She answered.

Xander scoffed. "He’s trying to worm his way back in. I don’t know why Buffy asked him to come over. All she had to do was call me at work, I would have left and come over immediately. But no… she had to tell Tara to bring Evil Dead. I just don’t get her.” Xander continued to ramble on and on. Willow was confused. When had all this happened? Geez, she was only gone 3 days.

Willow finally had to shout at Xander to be quiet. She needed answers. "Okay, now I’m guessing Buffy got sick again?” Xander opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand. "No! Just nod your head." Xander nodded. "Tara and Spike came by to help?" Another nod. "Is Buffy doing better?" Yep, she was. Good. "So what’s the problem, Xander? Buffy needed Spike’s help, and you’re just a little jealous?" The corners of her mouth twitched with suppressed laughter.

"No, I’m not jealous.” He said slowly. “I’m trying to keep Buffy safe from Spike. Right now, she’s weak. She might give in to his manliness." Willow laughed so hard, her eyes watered.

"Oh, please. Buffy doesn’t need protecting from Spike. She can handle him. She always has." Xander’s stomach lurched at the thought of Buffy handling anything on Spike. It was just too perverse to even think about. He really didn’t appreciate the way Willow was just dismissing his concerns about Buffy and Spike.

"She wants us to work together. She wants him to be a part of the team. Can you believe that?" Xander huffed.

Willow thought about all the good Spike had done over the last two years, some acts willing, some the result of payment and blackmail, but all in all he had helped them. "Well…don’t you think it’s time? I mean he has been helping us. He helped us even when there was nothing in it for him. And then, last summer when Buffy was gone, he stayed and helped." Willow still felt a twinge of shame whenever she thought about Buffy’s resurrection.

"We accepted Angel back, and he killed Ms. Calendar. Spike hasn’t killed anyone close to us. I think if Buffy can accept him, then we should too." Willow hoped that weird tingling she felt in the pit of her stomach wasn’t what she thought it was. She closed her eyes and prayed to the goddess. Please no reincarnation of the Buffy crush, please!

"So, Tara came over to see Buffy last night? Did she ask about me?" Willow asked, anxious to put the subject of Spike aside. Xander glanced over at Willow and saw the hopeful look in her eyes.

“Yep, she wanted to know what time your bus got in. I talked to her this morning. She and Buffy were heading to the doctor‘s office, later.”

“Oh, well, that‘s good. We probably should have done that days ago.” Willow chewed her thumbnail, and tried not to think about what could have happened to Buffy. I should have done more. Xander glanced over, and saw the pensive look on Willow‘s face. He sought to reassure her.

"Will, you know Tara. She’s the little mother hen. She would worry. I‘m sure that‘s why she insisted Buffy go to the doctor.”

“I know. That’s one of the great things about her. She cares so much for people. I don’t deserve her.”

“That’s not true, Willow, and you know it. She‘s probably waiting on us right now." Willow hoped so. She had missed Tara. She hated leaving when they were just starting to work things out.

"Have you heard from Anya?" Willow asked softly. Xander’s expression dimmed at the mention of his missing fiancee.

"No, she hasn’t called me or anything. I’ve left messages at the apartment. I even tried to go in, but the locks had been changed."

"I’m so sorry Xander." Willow reached over and patted his shoulder. "I’m sure she’ll be back soon. She can’t stay away from the shop for long. She’ll lose money." That sounded callous to Willow’s ears, but Xander just smiled. He knew Willow was only trying to make him feel better. She was right. Anya wouldn’t leave the shop closed for much longer. She loved money almost as much as him. He only hoped he had the chance to tell her, show her, and make her believe it again.

Willow closed her eyes and let the wind blow through her hair. "I’m getting the urge to cook. Ooh, I know why don’t you come over for dinner later? I can stop by the store and pick up some pasta. It’ll be Scooby pasta night. We haven’t done that in awhile. The whole gang will be there, you, Buffy, Dawn Tara and me." Willow gave him her puppy dog look, the one with the huge eyes, that you couldn’t resist buying. Xander shook his head, smiling. He couldn’t stay down with Willow around.

"No, Spike?" Xander asked hopefully." Willow shrugged. She didn’t know if Spike ate spaghetti or not, but she’d do anything to see Xander smile again.

"Well, okay, no Spike." She felt awful for leaving Spike out, but her first priority was Xander. Willow leaned over and kissed him quickly on the cheek before settling back into her seat. Her mind was already planning dinner. Pasta was Tara’s favorite.

"Maybe, we can patrol later for Buffy." Xander added as he passed the high school. "So how was the conference?"


Tara wiped her mouth, feeling way too stuffed to move. Buffy sat across from her, stroking her stomach. Tara smiled. Buffy had been doing that a lot since they’d left Dr. Schulz’s. She seemed so calm and relaxed, nothing like the Buffy of the past month. Tara looked at her watch. 12:30. They could run by the health food store, and then stop by and check on the Magic Box. "You ready to go. I don’t want to tire you out on your first day out." Tara said as she slipped her bag over her shoulder.

Buffy looked up at her as if she were in a daze. "Sorry, Tara, I’m not great company right now."

"I get it, Buffy, I do. You’ve got a lot on your mind. You’re having a baby." The last part whispered because you never knew, in this town, who was listening to you.

"I’m having a baby. I still can’t believe it. It blows my mind, but then I think about this little guy inside of me, and I feel like crying." Buffy’s eyes glistened. "I think I already love this child. Is that even possible?"

Tara held the door open for Buffy and followed her down the street. "Yes, it’s possible. This child is a part of you. You helped create it. That’s a powerful bond." Tara stopped at the car. "Do you want to walk to the Magic Box? It’s not too far, and I promised Anya I would check on the store while she was away."

Buffy nodded. "Please. I’m enjoying the fresh air. My room was starting to get a little stale." She said, fanning her hand in front of her nose. Tara giggled.

"I didn’t want to mention it, but it was." The girls laughed and strode at a leisurely pace down the block.

"Buffy, did you talk to Spike this morning before he left?"

Buffy spun her head around, surprise evident on her face. "How.. how did you know Spike stayed last night?"

"I heard you crying last night, when I got up to check on you, I heard Spike. I just assumed he stayed." Buffy rubbed her arms. The memory of being in Spike’s arms warming her.

"Yeah, he stayed, but we didn’t talk." Tara looked away, her mind imagining what the two were doing.

"We didn’t have sex. We slept." She said as if that was the strangest thing ever done. "You slept.” Tara repeated. “That’s all.” She wasn’t a voyeur or anything, but she’d picked up on the vibes coming off Buffy and Spike. She fully expected them to slip back into their previous relationship.

"Yeah, it was the first time, we’ve been horizontal and nothing sexual happened." Buffy shrugged. "It was kinda nice. Very coupley. It scared the hell out of me this morning."

Tara knew that feeling. She remembered the first time she had stayed with Willow. Waking up in the morning, things had seemed strange, but familiar. "I’m there with you. You just don’t know if you should be enjoying the 'just being together part' more than the sex. To be honest, I love holding Willow. Nothing can compare to being in her arms, listening to her breath."

Buffy smiled knowingly. "You and Willow are so getting back together." She grimaced at her own high pitched voice. "And if I ever sound that Valley girlish again, shoot me."
Tara snickered.

"Seriously, Tara, I’m glad you and Willow are trying to work things out. You have a good relationship with her. I have very few good memories with Spike. There were times when he was so sweet and so caring, and I was a complete and total bitch to him."
Buffy looked up, the sun’s bright rays caressing her face. The sky was so blue, it reminded her of Spike. “I miss talking to him, Tara. Before the sex, we were friends. Who was that girl who used to seek his friendship and advice? I lost that, and I’m afraid I can’t get it back.” Buffy sighed, wistfully, and rubbed her stomach. At least, I have you, my little angel.

"So, make it up to him.” Tara suggested. “He’s not going anywhere. He loves you, Buffy." Tara wanted them to work things out, not only for their child, but also for each other. Buffy deserved some happiness in her life, and the blond vamp seemed to be more than capable of giving that to her, if only Buffy would let him. Spike was good for Buffy, and Buffy was good for Spike. Now, to get them together. She hoped Dawn’s plan worked. Xander would be a problem. She would…

Her thoughts were interrupted as she bumped into Buffy, who had stopped in front of a maternity shop. Buffy looked down at her stomach and heaved a sigh.

"It’ll be my luck I’ll probably be as huge as a pumpkin." Tara looked at the mannequin, then back at Buffy.

"I think you’ll be cute." Buffy gave her a skeptical look. "As cute as a walking pumpkin can look."


Anya swept the last of the dust off the counter. It felt good to be back at work, doing what she loved. She was determined to put Xander behind her. She had been a vengeance demon for over a 1000 years. She had been a strong, independent woman. "I don’t need you, Xander. I can make it on my own." She screamed to the empty room. She glanced at her watch. She was due to open at 1pm. She walked to the door, and saw Buffy and Tara standing outside staring at her. She quickly opened the door, and found herself engulfed in a huge hug from Tara and Buffy.

"Where have you been, Anya? We’ve been so worried." Buffy stood slightly behind Tara, her hands lightly clenched.

"A phone call would have done wonders for our psyches." Buffy gently chided.

"I know. I just needed time away to clear my head." Anya flipped the closed sign to open. They walked into the store. Tara and Anya decided to make tea. Buffy knew they didn’t need a third set of hands to pour water, so sat down at the research table, and yawned. She closed her eyes briefly, and was asleep.

Anya shook Buffy awake. “You okay, Buffy. You fell asleep.”

Buffy nodded sheepishly. “I was sick this last week. Still trying to get my strength back.” Anya gave her the once-over, but didn‘t press the issue.

"So, where did you go?" Tara asked as she sipped her chamomile. They were all worried Anya had returned to D’Hoffryn, but Tara believed Anya wouldn’t be so quick to give up her humanity.

"I went to D’Hoffryn’s. He offered me a place to stay until I was ready to return." Tara frowned.

"So are you a vengeance demon, again?" Tara and Buffy exchanged nervous glances, which Anya noted with some amusement. You should fear me, she thought. Oh, the things she would do to Xander.

"No, I turned Hoffie down. I like being human. I like making money. What I don’t like is being hurt and heartbroken. If it weren’t for those nasty feelings, I’d be fine." Tara handed her a tissue as she started crying. Buffy wanted to cry too. She had had great hopes for Xander and Anya, but now those dreams were shattered. Tara touched her knee under the table, and Buffy composed herself.

"So, I’m back." Anya continued. “I’m going to make a life as a single woman. Just like you, Buffy.”

Buffy’s eyes twinkled with laughter. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be Anya. Are you sure you don’t want to work things out with Xander?” Buffy felt her stomach churn, and closed her eyes. Please, not now, baby. Mommy’s almost home. Buffy grabbed Tara’s arm, but it was too late. She pushed back from the table and sprinted to the back. Anya and Tara grimaced as they heard Buffy emptying her lunch into the toilet.

“Is she pregnant?” Anya asked, and Tara had to grip the table to keep from fainting. “She doesn’t look well. I’ve seen many pregnant women in my day. She looks pregnant. I wonder who she’s been sleeping with? That would explain her looking so tired and pounded.” Anya continued her rambling, as the color slowly left Tara’s face. She wanted to say something, anything, to get Anya off her subject, but the words escaped her.

“No.. no.. B..Buffy’s not pregnant.” Tara stuttered. She hated that nervous affliction. She took a deep calming breath, and started again. “Buffy was poisoned by a Gharla.” Anya nodded that she knew what type of demon she was talking about. “The antidote made Buffy sick.”

Anya thought for a moment, then said. “Yep, that’s a nasty side effect to the cure. Well, then, I guess she isn’t pregnant. Which is good. She’s not married, and it wouldn’t be fair if she got pregnant before me.” Tara looked at her, incredulous.

“Don’t look at me like that Tara. I was engaged. I should have been first.” Tara nodded her head, if only to keep from laughing at her ridiculous statement.

“Ah, Anya, did Giles leave any books concerning the Slayer and prophecies? Buffy’s concerned that the nerds could find a spell or prophecy to hurt her.” It wasn’t actually a lie.

Anya stared at the table, tapping her fingers lightly against it. “He left some books so we would have them for research. They’re up in the loft in the restricted section. You’re welcome to look at the them.”

Buffy slowly made her way to them. Her face was pale, and her lips trembled. “Anya, I need to get home. Will you come by later? I know Dawn and Willow will want to see you.”

“Will Xander be there?” Buffy shook her head.

“I really don’t know. He might. Just call ahead to be sure, okay? We care about you too.” Buffy grabbed her purse. She went to hug Anya, but thought better of it. She had brushed her teeth, but her mouth still tasted nasty.

“I‘ll be back. I want to take a good look at those books.” Tara waved, then helped Buffy to the car. Anya waved back. Anya stood in the doorway watching them till they were out of sight.

“I still think she’s pregnant.” A woman in a business suit looked at her pointedly. Good a customer, Anya thought. She gestured for her to come in. The woman crossed the street and stepped inside. “Welcome to the Magic Box, how can I help you?”

Willow threw her overnight bag into the back of the closet, and gathered up her dirty laundry. She would put a load in the wash and run to the store. She hoped Buffy and Dawn would be home by the time she got back. The front door opened and Buffy and Tara stepped in.

“...there go those new pants I bought. I won’t be able to wear them in a few ... Willow, you’re home.” Buffy exclaimed, her face becoming flush.

“Hiya, Buffy. Tara.” Tara smiled through clenched lips, and wondered how much of the conversation Willow heard. Willow sat her laundry down on the table. She hugged Buffy, and peered closely into her face. “Xander told me you were sick. How ya feeling?” Willow led Buffy back into the living room and sat down with her on the sofa.

“I’m fine, Will. We went to the doctor and she recommended a tea to help. I should be fine in a few days.” Buffy hoped so. “Forget about me, how was the conference?”

Tara sat across from them in a chair, listening. Willow looked so good. Willow was in her element with school. Willow glanced shyly at Tara. She was babbling. She knew it, but she didn’t want Tara to run off. Buffy watched the two lovers watch each other. They needed a big push, and that was her specialty.

“You know Will, I think I’m going to lie down for a bit. Wake me when Dawn gets in from school?” Buffy got up, grabbed her bag of vitamins, and headed up to her room.

Willow waited till she heard Buffy’s door close before turning to Tara and asking. “Is she really okay? She looks kinda sickly.” She glanced worriedly towards the stairs.

“She got sick after lunch, but she‘s doing a lot better. Yesterday, she could barely stand because of the pain. She just needs to rest. Then, she‘ll be the same old Buffy.” With a little Spike growing inside her. “I’m glad you’re back Willow.” Willow grinned silly at that statement, and moved closer to Tara.

“Want to stay for dinner? Nothing special. Just pasta.” Willow waited nervously for Tara’s reply.

“I’d love to, but I’ve got to make a run first. I’m doing some research for Buffy, and I’ve got to stop by the Magic Box and pick up a book. What time is dinner?”

Willow tilted her head. “What kind of research are you doing for Buffy? Maybe, I can help.”

“Buffy’s worried about Warren finding some ancient prophecy or something to use against her.” She hated lying to Willow, but Buffy and her baby were depending on her.

Willow agreed they should explore every option. “Ooh, Tara, we can check on those prophecies together.”

Tara really needed to get to the Watcher‘s website. Last night, she and Dawn discussed what they would say to Willow, but nothing made sense. How where they going to get into the Watcher‘s files without Willow becoming suspicious.

“Maybe, we could search the Watcher‘s Files. I know they keep track on all kinds of prophecies.” Willow was silent, and Tara could see the wheels turning under that red hair.

“It would be easier to cross reference dates and times to find the prophecy. It‘ll be tricky breaking in, but I know I could do it.” Willow’s eyes sparkled at the thought of breaking through the Council’s computer defenses. What if she got caught? The thrill was too tempting to resist.

“Or you could call Giles and get his pass code.” Tara suggested, recognizing that gleam in Willow’s eye.

“Oh, yeah, I could.” Willow sounded so disappointed, Tara had to smile.

“Could you show me how to log onto it? That way we could get more done with the both of us working on this.” Tara smiled sweetly at Willow. She wasn‘t used to lying and keeping secrets. But lately, it was all she‘d been doing.

Upstairs in the peace and solitude of her room, Buffy lay staring out the window. Mr. Gordo was clasped tightly to her chest. Cigarettes and bourbon. Just like Spike.

“Hey, baby, it’s Mom. Just wanted to let you know I’m going to make sure you have a good life. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me since Dawn. I don’t know what’s going to happen with your Daddy, but he’ll always be there for you. Always.” Buffy stared at the trees swaying with the afternoon breeze, and tried not to think about a certain blond vampire.


Dawn could barely concentrate in school today. There was so much going on at home, that American history 101 paled in comparison. She closed her locker, and swung her book bag over her shoulder. She wondered if Spike was up, yet. She had a bone to pick with him. She woke fully expecting to see Spike either asleep on the couch or in Buffy’s room. Instead, she awoke to the sounds of Buffy puking in the bathroom and Tara cooking breakfast, but there was no sign of Spike anywhere.

Spike sat up abruptly, chest heaving as the door crashed open. It was either Buffy or the Bit. "Don’t you people knock?" He grumbled. Dawn stood with her hands on her hips, scowling at him. "What the hell is that look for, Bit?"

"I thought you were coming back last night." She said flinging her long, brown hair over her shoulder. Spike rolled his eyes, and leapt off the sepulcher.

"I did come by. I left before daybreak." Spike yanked the refrigerator door opened and pulled out a jar of blood. Dawn watched impassively as he gulped down his breakfast.

"So, did you and Buffy, you know?" Dawn wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Spike shook his head, grinning at Dawn’s question.

"No, Buffy had a nightmare. We slept. Nothing more, Ms. Nosy.”

"Well, that’s some progress." Dawn threw her book bag down by the door. "Got anything to snack on." Spike threw her a pack of licorice, red, her favorite. "You remembered. That’s so sweet."

"Well, don’t go telling anyone." He grumbled. Dawn hopped up onto the sepulcher, curling her legs under her.

"Did Buffy tell you what the dream was about?" Spike shook his head no.

"She didn’t say. She just wanted me to stay until she fell asleep." Spike finished drinking the blood and placed the empty jar back on top of the fridge.

Dawn sucked on the end of the Twizzler, thinking. "She’s worried about someone taking the baby. She thinks the Council will try something or Social Services."

"No one’s taking my kid." Spike growled. Dawn had never seen him so angry before, not even when Willow crashed the car. Spike
slumped in the chair, his brow furrowed in thought. He hadn’t thought about how the Council would react to Buffy’s pregnancy. Surely, they couldn’t do anything to her. They didn’t know about them. The Council wouldn’t even suspect he was the father. Unless they knew something about the Slayers that no one else did. Damn! And Social Services? Those pounces wouldn’t get within 100 feet of the baby or Dawn. No, they were the least of their problems.

Dawn watched Spike. “What’s going to happen, Spike? They can’t take the baby.” Spike looked up, almost forgetting Dawn was even there.

"I’m not going to lie to you. You’re not a kid. You know how the Watchers work. They’ll do what’s in their best interests, not Buffy’s. As far as Social services is concerned, well, we’ll deal with them when we have to. For now, they don’t know, and we’re not going to tell them." Dawn’s big blue eyes clouded with worry." Spike hurried to reassure her and himself. "Don’t worry, Dawn. I’ll protect Buffy and the baby. And you. No one’s breaking up our little family." His voice, strong and clear calmed her fears for the moment.

Spike needed to know how bad the situation really was. "We need money, Spike. Buffy’s barely making it now. She doesn’t make enough to take care of all of us. Babies costs money. There are Buffy’s doctor visits. We’ve got to set up a nursery. The mortgage payment on the house will be due soon. She’s going to have to quit Doublemeat eventually, and then where will we be?"

Spike knew things had been tough for the Summers girls, but Buffy had been adamant about making it on her own. "I offered to help. Your sis didn’t want it." He was still a little pissed about that, but the situation was different now. They were having a baby. There was no way their baby was going to go without.

"C’mon. I want to show you something." Spike grabbed her hand and helped her down the rickety ladder. He still hadn’t fixed it, since Buffy blew up the lower level.

"What the hell happened down here Spike?" Dawn asked as she took in the charred walls and furniture.

"Buffy." He answered and stepped behind the curtain. Spike could see the tunnel quite clearly, but he knew Dawn couldn’t. He flicked his lighter, giving them a little illumination. Dawn grimaced at the slime coating the wall, which reminded her of that goo they dumped on you on Nickelodeon. She kept her hand firmly wrapped around Spike’s bicep as he led her down a series of hallways. They finally reached a room with a giant hole in the ceiling.

"Are we under another crypt?" Dawn tried to peer into darkness, but couldn’t see anything.

"Yeah, it is, but it was buried in an earthquake a few centuries ago. I stumbled upon it when I came back."

"Which time was that? When you kidnapped Willow and Xander for the love potion or when the Initiative caught you?"

Spike could see her smiling broadly. "Cheeky, little broad, aren’t you? Well, this was before the damn Initiative caught me."

"Oh. You mean when you had that ring, and fought Buffy at school." Dawn felt the air shift and knew Spike was nodding near her ear.

"OK, Bit, I’m going to jump up. Then, I’ll pull you up." Dawn looked at him skeptically, but he couldn’t see her. Spike seriously hoped he didn’t embarrass himself. He leapt, and cleared the hole. "Dawn reach up." Dawn did as he asked, and nearly screamed when she felt his hands grip her tightly. She closed her eyes tightly, and prayed he wouldn’t drop her.

"Whew, I knew you had it in you." Spike gave her a look that said sure, you did. "I did." She defended.

"Don’t move, Dawn. Let me light a candle." Spike scanned the room and found the lantern that was left from 2 years ago. Dawn heard the flick of Spike’s lighter, then gasped as she saw the contents of the room.

"Holy Shit!!" She screamed. Spike smiled, pretty impressed with the treasure. "We’re rich. Oh, my god, we’re rich! I can’t believe it!" Dawn jumped up and down, shrieking at the top of her lungs.

"Dawn!" Dawn stopped, nearly faint from the head rush. Spike grabbed her arm to steady her. "Take deep breaths, Dawn. Slowly! That‘s it, slowly." He commanded.

"What…what is the place?" Dawn asked, looking at the gold doubloons and jewels littering the room.

"This”, Spike waved his hand across the room, “is the Treasure of Amara. The Amara was a Spanish ship that went down in 1429 off the coast of California. The Gem of Amara was rumored, quite truthfully, to grant a vampire the ability to walk in the sun." Spike smiled remembering the almost invincible feeling that overcame him when he put it on. Then, of course, Buffy had kicked his ass and took it off. Spike fingered a large ruby ring, and wondered briefly, how it would look on Buffy’s hand. Yeah, right, that’ll happen the very day the Poofter stops brooding.

"You’ve known about this stuff for 2 years and you never told me. Do you know what we could have done with all that money?" Spike arched an eyebrow at her and she quickly amended. "What you could have done with this money?"

"I would have shared with you, Nib." Spike stood in front of the huge table, and began picking through the pieces. "Start looking for small heavy pieces. Things we can sell and get some quick money for."

Dawn rolled her sleeves up and started sorting through the jewelry. "Do you want the coins or the jewels? And who’s going to buy this stuff? Museums, dealers? Because we’re going to need a lot of money in a short amount of time.” Like tomorrow, but she didn’t say that. Spike had found a way to support them, and for that, she was grateful.

Spike thought for a moment. There was only one person who could fence this stuff. Tiger. The bloody bastard would take a huge cut, but he could probably get them a fair price. Spike didn’t really know of anyone else he could trust with this, not that he trusted Tiger all that much. “I know someone who can help and he’ll be discreet. Or as discreet as my money can buy." The only other place he could go would be LA, and after last night, he wasn’t leaving Buffy and Dawn alone again.

“Tell me again why you are staying in the cemetery when you could have a kick ass place.”

Spike shrugged, and said simply. “That’s not my thing, you know?” And strangely, she did. Money had never mattered to Spike. It was always about Buffy.

Dawn looked around and found an old canvas bag, and started loading coins, gem-encrusted knives, cups, and rings. After a hour, Spike called a halt to the scavenger hunt. "It’s getting late Dawn. We can come back for more later. I think we’ve got enough to keep the hounds at bay for a couple of months."

Dawn wiped sweat off her brow. "Eww, I’m all sweaty. Buffy’s going to wonder what I’ve been up to." Spike tied the bag with a piece of twine, and dropped it with a thud to the ground. "Ok, Bit, it’s your turn. Just be careful of the bag when you let go, okay?" She nodded and sat down near the hole. She reached up, and Spike lowered her till she could drop safely to the ground. Spike blew out the lantern, and dropped silently in front of Dawn.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She screamed. Spike hauled her against him, and planted a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Never. Come on let’s get you home before Buffy’s sends out a hunting party."

Xander clamped the lock shut, securing the site. He used to look forward to leaving work, going home or to the Magic Box, to Anya. His heart ached when he thought of her, so beautiful in her white dress, looking up at him with such trust and love. He wished he could take that day back. Now, all he wanted was to see her, touch her, make her understand how wrong he was. Before he knew it, he had made the turn onto Main Street. The Magic Box was up ahead. He pulled over and parked. While he was here, he might as well check the place out, make sure it was locked up good and tight. His mind kept replaying Spike’s words over and over. He was wrong, of course. Xander loved Buffy as a friend, nothing more. The memory of her death was just too painful and he was just protective of her, like any good friend should be. Spike, of course, wouldn’t understand that. He didn’t have friends. He didn’t have people who cared about him. ‘She’d rather be with a demon, like me, than a human like you.’ Bastard! Xander shook his head. He needed to concentrate on Anya. They just needed to talk, then everything would be fine. He could explain why he had to leave. She would understand. She had to.

Xander stumbled when he saw the petite blond inside the store. He rubbed his eyes, thinking this was some weird mirage or hallucination. Anya. His feet carried him through the door, past the startled customer, and to the blond behind the cash register. His face radiated his happiness and relief that she was back. Her eyes, though, brought him up short. Eyes that once danced with joy and excitement, were cold and distant.

"Xander." Anya said emotionless. She looked him up and down. He looked awful. Good. She wanted him to suffer as much as she had. He hadn’t, but he would.

"Anya, I was so worried." He took a step towards her, and she immediately stepped back. Xander stopped, his arms reaching out for her, when he realized she didn’t want him any closer to her. "Are you okay?" He asked. Anya gave him a dirty look that said ‘you’re an idiot!’ before answering him dryly.

"Yes, Xander, I’m fine. I’ve had time to think and cry, and I’m over it. Yes, it hurt. It still hurts, but I’m doing better now that I’m back at work. Oh, and by the way, I’m keeping the ring. It’s the least I deserve for putting up with you for 3 years."

"Anya, the ring is yours. I don’t want it back. I still want to marry you."

"That’s funny, Xander, because now, I don’t want to marry you." Anya reached behind her and picked up a jar of powder. She brushed past him and went up the stairs to place it on shelf.

"Anya, can we please talk?" Xander grabbed her as she walked past, but she shook his hands off her.

"Don’t touch me again!" She sneered. Xander held up his hands in surrender.

"I won’t, but please Anya, can you just stop for a moment and listen to me?"

Anya crossed her arms over her chest, and tapped her foot impatiently. "Well, get on with it. I’ve got things to do."

Xander swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I should have told you sooner about my fears, but I was scared I would lose you.” Anya felt her heart break a little bit more, seeing him so distraught and pained. “I wasn’t ready to get married. I should have told you that.”

“Yes, you should have Xander. You betrayed my trust, my love for you. Before I met you, I didn’t believe it was possible to love someone so completely.” Her voice hitched. “You made me believe in love and honor and trust, and then you threw all that out the window. I will never forgive you!” She took a deep breath. She had to do this if she was ever going to be free. “I will never forgive you for lying to me. You never loved me.”

“An, that’s not true. I did love you. I do love you.” Xander pleaded. They were both heedless of the tears streaming down their faces. “Please believe me. I love you.”

“No, you don’t Xander. You love Buffy. You just won’t admit it. It’s always been her. I should have seen the signs. I should have known.” Anya sat down at the research table. The anger she felt slowly replaced by a blissfully numbing sensation around her heart. “It’s always been about her.” She looked up at Xander, who was standing beside her.

“The first time you told me you loved me was when Riley left. You thought Buffy was going to be with him, so she was off-limits. You asked me to marry you when you thought we were going to die. Then Buffy died, and we weren’t so important anymore. Now, this. You would have never left Buffy at the altar. She‘s not me. I‘m not her. You two get along very well.” Anya sighed softly, and twisted the ring on her left hand.

“Everything comes back to Buffy, don’t you see? You can’t let go of her. You can’t let go of the past. And that’s not good enough for me anymore. I won’t be second best to anyone.” She pulled the ring off her finger, looking fondly at it one last time before leaving it on the table. “I.. I don’t need this anymore. It‘s over Xander.” Anya lifted her head high, and walked away from the only man she ever loved.

Xander heard the door jingle as she walked outside. He picked up the ring, sadden and empty. He placed the ring in his coat pocket, and walked out of the shop. He saw Anya standing off to the side. He walked quickly past her. There was nothing he could say to her now. He wouldn’t even try.

“So, you’re going to fence the jewels, and then what? Remember, you’re not supposed to know about the baby. How are you going to explain giving me the money?” Dawn looked over at Spike, expectantly.

“I’m assuming little Bit that you’ve got some plan for that, seeing as how you’re masterminding everything else.” Spike turned in time to see Dawn stick her tongue at him. “

Yes, I have a plan.” Dawn said smiling. “I can get all the account numbers for our bills, and you can start paying them off. When the mail comes, I’ll swipe them and she’ll never know.” Spike smirked.

“She’ll know.”

Dawn had to agree. “Okay, how about this? Just deposit a little money at a time into her account. She’ll think she’s just not spending as much or stretching it farther.”

“That’s possible. We won’t have to keep this from her for too long. Just until she tells me about the baby. Then, I’m telling her the truth. There’ve been enough secrets between us already.” Spike pulled up to the house. “Okay, Nib. I’ll be back later.”

“You’re not coming in? Why? You haven’t seen her all day. Don’t you want to check on her?”

“I do, Dawn, but Red’s probably home, and Tara’s already here. I’ll be back later, before patrol. I promise. Now, get. I’ve got some business to take care of.”

“One last thing, then I’m going. Have you ever heard of a Slayer being pregnant before?“ Spike put the car in park, and ran through his limited knowledge of Slayer lore. “Ah, no, why?“

“Buffy wants to know how she got pregnant. I mean technically, this isn’t supposed to happen.“ Dawn sighed. “Well, anyway, if you can think of anything, let me know. Tara and I are searching the Council’s records for clues.“

“Just be careful, luv. We don’t want to alert them to anything.“ Dawn told him she’d see him later, and hopped out of the car. At the front door, she waved goodbye. Spike waited, then pulled around to the back of the house. He had no intention of being this close to Buffy and not seeing her. What exactly were they doing? Buffy had let him hold her, comfort her, but then again she was sick. A strong, healthy Buffy was a different creature all together. He pulled his blanket out and sprinted for the back door. He flung it open, and slipped inside. He stopped and listened. No one seemed to be alerted to his presence. Dawn and the witches were in the living room talking. Spike tiptoed through the dining room and up the stairs.

Dawn rolled her eyes. Who did he thinking he was fooling? Let him think he was stealthy. It was good for his ego. She turned back to Willow and Tara, laughing. Adults!

Spike opened Buffy’s door and saw her sleeping, curled up in the fetal position around Mr. Gordo. He slipped quietly into the room, and watched her. She was so beautiful. Her shoulder-length hair hung over her face. He reached out to touch her cheek, pushing her hair back. She sighed, but didn’t awaken. He closed his eyes, and listened to the steady hum of their heartbeats. Spike knew he was taking a risk being up here with her, but he couldn’t stay away from them. They were his whole life. Two days ago, he was heartbroken and alone, angry at himself and even angrier at Buffy. Now, he was going to be a father, but would he be with Buffy? That was the million dollar question.

“Spike, don’t you know it’s not polite to stare at someone?” Buffy’s voice was heavy with sleep. She gazed at him drowsily.

“I know love, but, hey, I’m evil. I can’t help it.” She laughed at that. “You feeling better?” Spike stroked her cheek, loving the feel of her warm skin.

“Mmm.” Her eyes were drooping again.

“Go back to sleep luv. I’ll be back later. We need to talk, but not now. You rest.” She held his fingers against her cheek. Her eyes opened wide, staring him into silence.

“I don’t want to sleep.” Spike was glad he didn’t need to breath. Those hazel eyes so clear, but with a hint of desire. He wanted more than anything to press into her warm flesh until she screamed, but for once, he wasn’t going to let his other head control his thinking.

“No, you sleep.” He kissed her head, her nose, her lips. “I’ll be back. I promise.” She nodded, too tired to argue with him.

“Your loss.” She mumbled.

“Yeah, I know.” He smiled into her hair, and stood up. Spike brushed his hand down her cheek again, almost giving in when she sighed, and left.


“So, Spike thinks that Warren has got someone who can shift into demon-form.” Dawn was saying to Tara and Willow. “That’s the only thing that makes sense. He said that when he hit it, the chip went off.”

Buffy sat down on the steps and listened to the conversation going on in the living room. “So, we’re looking for a prophecy that might explain what the nerds are trying to do?” Willow asked her forehead scrunched up in confusion. “I just can’t believe they’d go to these extremes to get Buffy. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“They’ve been stalking her for months. Xander told me they have pictures of all of us. Surveillance-type photos.” Tara shuddered. “It gives me the creeps thinking about it.”

“We’ll have to be more careful when we’re out.” Willow said, getting up to check on the pasta.

Buffy waited till she heard Willow in the kitchen. “Hey, guys.” Buffy curled up next to Dawn on the sofa. Dawn took her hand, and laced her fingers with Buffy’s. “Any luck finding a prophecy or spell to explain her?” She said gesturing to her stomach.

“No. Willow’s going to start going through the Watcher’s files, checking to see if anything fits in the time period we gave her. Once she’s in, we’ll start looking into the other Slayers history.”

“Ok. I just need to know something. I want to enjoy this pregnancy, not worry that I’m getting ready to give birth to the next Master.” Buffy had to be realistic. Her baby could be evil. She had to know before this pregnancy went too far. Her hand flew to her mouth.

“Buffy, are you getting ready to hurl again?” Dawn asked, scooting back.

“No." Willow sauntered in, effectively ending all discussion on the baby.

“Buffy, you’re up. That’s great. Xander will be here soon. We’re going to patrol after dinner.”

“Thanks, Willow, but I think I want to go. I’ve been cooped up in this house for 4 days, and it’s driving me a bit crazy.” Buffy needed to punch something, anything, preferably demon. “Spike’s going with me. He’ll have my back.” Buffy pinched Dawn, who was grinning happily.

“Are you sure, Buffy? I mean. You’ve been sick. Xander and I don’t mind. To tell you the truth, I think he needs to vent a little. He was acting really strange this morning.” Tara had heard all about Spike and Xander’s argument when he came to take Dawn to school.

“Why don’t you split up?” Dawn suggested. “You and Spike take half the cemeteries and Xander and Willow will take the other half. I’ll stay here and work with Tara on the research.”

“You know, you’re not bad with the strategizing, Dawnie.” Dawn grinned, happy to be contributing something to the Scoobies. Buffy stroked Dawn‘s hair, continually amazed with her. These last few days had shown Buffy a different, more mature side to Dawn. She was handling the news of the baby and Spike a lot better than she’d thought she would. Could have saved myself a lot of grief if I’d told her sooner.

“I’ll get it.” Tara peered out the door and saw a disheveled Xander standing on the stoop. “Hey, Xander.”

Xander loped in, and sat down dejectedly in the chair. He was staring fixedly at a spot on the carpet, not saying anything. Willow knelt before him. She lifted his chin, gasping at the tears she saw there. “What happened?” She asked softly.

“She gave me her ring back. Told me she didn’t want to see me again.”

They all sat stunned. Anya gave the ring back. She loved that ring. To Buffy, at least, that was the death blow to their relationship. “I can’t understand why she didn’t want to work things out, Xander.” Dawn asked.

“She had her reasons. She didn’t trust me anymore. She said I never loved her.” Willow reached for him, stroking his hair as he cried.

“That’s not true. You loved Anya. Why would she think something stupid like that?” Xander shook his head into her shoulder.

“I love her, Will. I don’t think I can live without her.”

“You can live without love.” Buffy said, stunning them all with her statement. “You just close yourself off. You don’t let anyone in. It’s possible to walk, talk, eat, sleep, and never love.” They all stared at her. Buffy didn’t seem to care or notice their shocked looks. She had walked around for months, not feeling anything, trying not to love any of them. Oh, yeah, it was possible, until that one sliver of light got through the darkness. It was impossible, then, to keep yourself cloaked in the dark. She felt him. She glanced up into a pair of blue eyes and felt lit up from the inside out. Oh, yeah, impossible after that first ray of light.

“Hope, I’m not disturbing a potentially boring Scooby meeting.” Spike drawled. Various looks assailed him, but he never stopped looking at Buffy. He had heard her, felt her sadness, and hoped she‘d let him take away all her pain. “What’s new on the Scooby front? Are we patrolling tonight or what?”

“We’re patrolling, dead boy, you’re not.” Spike ignored Xander, deciding to stare Buffy into the ground.

“Ah, Xander, we’re all patrolling. Buffy and Spike are going in one direction. We’re going in another.” Willow smiled to soften the blow. Xander looked defeated. “Hey, let’s eat, then we can all go out and find something to kill. You’ll like that, won’t you Xander? Something evil to beat on?” Willow pulled Xander with her into the kitchen.

“That’s cheerful.” Dawn added and pulled away from Buffy to set the table. Tara took one look at the obvious hormone fest going on between Buffy and Spike and wisely decided to help Dawn.

Spike and Buffy continued to stare at each other, neither one making a move. “You don’t mind patrolling with me, do you, Spike? I know we haven’t done it in awhile.” Spike smiled, and Buffy blushed. “Not that, you idiot. Patrol. Fight. Slay.”

Spike shrugged and sat down, grabbing her feet and pulling them into his lap. “Is this some new foreplay of yours? Because I don’t think so.” Spike loved her best when she was fighting, but that natural tendency of hers to be a little smart ass was so endearing. “No, luv, just thought you’d like to put your feet up since that’s all you’ve been doing these last few days.” Buffy yanked her feet out of his lap, grinning evilly when he winced. “Hey, watch the goods, luv.” He leaned forward, and whispered softly. “You may want to play again someday, so don’t damage anything important.”

Buffy tried not to smile, but failed. “You’re deluded and vain to boot. Terrific combination.”

“You didn’t mind, Goldilocks! Now, don’t deny it. I’ve got the bite marks to prove it.”

“Would you stop?” She pleaded, not serious in the least bit. “Someone is going to hear you.”

“Two out of the four people in this house know the truth, so I’ve got a fifty-fifty chance of being caught by someone already hipped to it. But I’ll stop, because I want to discuss something with you.”

Buffy sat up straighter. Spike had that serious look to him, like he was thinking, and Spike thinking was never good. Unless he was planning something truly decadent to try in bed. Spike saw Buffy’s face flush, and wondered what was going on inside that blond head.

“Those nerds are following you.” She said she knew that. Heard it from Dawn. “Well, then, don’t you think you should be staying close to home? Maybe, you should quit Doublemeat until things settle down, get those wankers off the street.”

Buffy shot out of her seat. “What the hell is this, Spike? I can’t stop working. I have a house note, a kid sister, bills, and....” Oh, lord, she was getting ready to say a baby on the way. Spike was looking at her, waiting for to finish. “And groceries to buy. I can’t let them stop me from making money.”

Spike stood up because he hated when she looked down on him. “Well, guess what luv?” His voice rose. “They’ve already cost you money. You haven’t worked in days. Do you still have a job?” Buffy’s lip trembled, but he continued. “You can’t continue to leave Dawn alone. You didn’t see those pictures. They’ve been following you all over town. They’ve been to the school. They’ve been watching the Bit. I don’t know about you, but it scares me, and I’m the Big Bad.”

Xander and Willow came out of the kitchen, and stood listening to their argument. Xander had to admit, he was right. Warren’s gang was far more dangerous than they’d suspected.

“I can take care of Dawn. I always have.” Spike had that murderous gleam in his eye, and Buffy laughed. “You’re supposed to be intimidated, luv, not amused.” He huffed, then sat down.

Willow, Xander, Tara, and Dawn all drifted back into the living room. Buffy looked at each of them. Her family. Then down at Spike, her heart. She wouldn’t let anyone, man or demon, hurt them. “I’ll consider looking for another job, but for now, all we can do is stick together. Dawn will be escorted to and from school, unless she’s going to the crypt. The rest of us can take care of ourselves. The game plan is to find Warren, take him down, and get on with the daily business of keeping Sunnydale safe.” Buffy wanted to take his hand, kiss it, and reassure him that everything was going to be okay, but she didn’t. He’d probably kill over from shock, anyway.

“Can we save Sunnydale, after dinner? I’m starved.” Dawn announced as she headed for the table.

Leave it to a teenager to put things into perspective. Spike thought. He hung back while they ate. He was content to watch TV and Buffy. She was relaxed for the first time in days. He felt her eyes on him throughout dinner, and would turn to catch her staring at him, smiling just for him. It warmed his heart. The tension from her homicidal delusions, her unexpected pregnancy quickly dissolved amid food and mindless chatter.


After giving Dawn her instructions for the night and telling her she loved her, Buffy and Spike headed out for the west cemetery. They’d decided patrolling near his crypt might be too tempting, so they went in the opposite direction.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight.” Buffy swung the battle axe lazily by her side.

“No problem. If anyone’s going to take you down, it’ll be me, not some geek with an oversized ego.” Spike sped up as he sighted a group of 4 vamps huddled around a grave. Buffy, of course, was too busy admiring her axe to notice them. Buffy sensed them alright, but she knew he liked to remind her of his vampire superiority.

“That Slayer sense going to kick in anytime soon, Pet. There’re about 4 vamps waiting for a new fledgling to rise. You up for a spot of violence or are you all tuckered out?” Buffy stopped in her tracks. Damn vamp was so smug. She’d show him who was tired and who was wired. Spike looked beside him, totally expecting some stinging retort, and she wasn’t there. He spun around, but she’d disappeared.

“Bloody hell, Slayer. Great time to take a piss.” She was going to be the death of him. He knew the moment he’d laid eyes on her, she was going to turn his life upside down. Should have run screaming out of this damn town. Where the hell was she? She was nearby, of that he was sure. He could smell her. Damn vanilla lotion was strong. One of the vamp saw him coming, and stepped away from the others.

“Oi, lookey here, if it isn’t the Slayer’s toy, Spike. How ya been? The Slayer still squeezing you by the dangling bits.” Spike looked at the young vamp, and asked himself ‘Was I that stupid when I was young?’

“Come on boys, we’ve got some time before Freddie over there rises. Let’s have some fun, then we’ll feed from this sorry excuse for a vampire’s carcass.” Spike turned his neck, hearing the bones pop. He was going to thoroughly enjoy kicking this punk’s ass. He wondered how long Buffy was going to let this go on before joining in.

“Are you going to talk me to death? If so, please stop. I give up.” Spike smirked, then roared. Buffy sat on top of a headstone, and watched as the two vamps tried to jump Spike. She hadn’t planned on taking a seat to watch the fight, but after sizing up the competition she decided to let Spike have a go alone. He would be fine. To tell the truth, she was a little worried about fighting now that she was pregnant. Her body had taken worse abuse, but now there was the baby to worry about. She grimaced as she heard a bone break, and looked relieved when she realized it wasn’t one of Spike’s. He was having a blast. The duster was twisting in the night, almost invisible save for the moonlight that shone on it. She wanted in. Buffy jumped to the ground, inching closer to the remaining vamps. She saw them trying to sneak up on Spike, and thought it was high time she helped her baby’s daddy.

“Now, you weren’t going to jump him from behind were you?” The vamps turned and saw the tiny blond woman, and licked their lips. “Eww! Gross! I know dental hygiene isn’t important to the dead, but can we say ’Floss, Nightly’.”

Spike heard her and laughed, feeling the old familiar surge course through him. It seemed like months since they’d last fought together, and he was on cloud 9. His momentary distraction, though, allowed the loud mouth vamp to get in a right cross to his jaw. Spike ducked the next punch, and twisted his arm behind his back, loving the sounds of breaking bones and agonized scream.

Buffy flipped one vamp, and kicked the other one in the gut. She should end this, but it had been days, and she felt a little rusty. As long as they didn’t hit her in the stomach, they’d live another minute. Spike spun the vamp he had pinned to the tree around. “See the blond.” He motioned. “Isn’t she amazing? She’s got great fighting skills. Too bad you didn’t get to meet her. You might have lived longer.” With that, he twisted the guy’s head, till nothing but dust filled the air. He fanned at the dust, stepping over to the side to watch Buffy finish off her opponents.

“Need some help, pet?” He smiled as she flipped him off, and completed a roundhouse kick to the vamp that had him lying flat on his back dazed. Buffy whipped Mr. Pointy out and jabbed fast and quick into his chest. That left one vamp and from the looks of it, a newly risen fledgling. Spike saw the battle axe leaning against the headstone, and calmly walked over, scooped it up, and waited till the fledgling was halfway out of the grave, before slicing its head off. Buffy straddled the last vamp, and staked him. “That’s one of my favorite positions, luv. Please don‘t use it on any other vamps. Might make me jealous.”

Buffy wiped the vamp dust over her hands, and stood up to face a smirking Spike. “Is that all you think about, Spike?”

“When I’m with you? Pretty much.” Spike moved closer till they were inches apart. “You okay. That didn’t tire you out did it?”

Buffy shook her head no. “It felt great. I thought I was going to go absolutely batty if I didn’t get out soon.”

“I know. We all need something to relieve the tension, and usually with us it’s a good ass-kicking.” Spike lifted his hand to her hair, brushing it back over her shoulder.

“Spike?” Buffy’s eyes were wide, and Spike could tell she felt the same electric charge in the air. No! They were not going to have ‘back together sex’ in a damn cemetery.

“Not tonight, Slayer. It would be wrong, and like you said it would just be an escape. I don’t think...”

Buffy slipped her arms around his waist and pulled his body flush to hers. It was the same move he’d used on her earlier, with the same results: Speechlessness. She felt so soft and warm, and all he wanted was to stay like this forever. Buffy had other ideas, though. Her hands inched up his back, caressing and stroking his skin through his shirt. He felt on fire, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. She was staring into his eyes, and for once, he was the one left flailing. She stood on her toes, and brushed her lips softly over his, but she didn’t stop there. She placed kisses on his chin, his cheeks, his nose, before finally settling once again on his lips. Spike groaned, and tightened his grip on her waist. Sex with Spike was phenomenal, but his kisses swept her off her feet. Literally, she thought as Spike picked her up and carried her over to a headstone. He sat her down gently, never once breaking the kiss. Spike couldn’t say how long the kiss lasted, who pulled away first.

"I hadn’t planned on starting this conversation like that." Buffy said breathlessly.

"Nice opening, though." Spike said, lovingly. He leaned in and kissed her again on the lips.

"Okay, enough, well, not really, but enough for right now." Buffy pushed away from Spike. He stood between her legs, with his hands on either side of her hips. Not too close, but not too far away either.

"So, Blondie, you’ve definitely got my attention. What did you want to talk about?"

"I want to date."

Spike blinked. "What did you just say? You want to date. Who?" The bloody wanker was dead, that’s all there was to it. How in the hell was she going to start dating when she was carrying his child?

"You." She said softly. "Hello, earth to Spike. Did you hear me?"

"I heard you, Slayer, but let’s get this straight. You’re not.. Did you just say you wanted to date me?" Buffy nodded and Spike grabbed her, raining kisses down on her face, in her hair. He was squeezing her so tightly, she thought her ribs would crack.

"Ow, rib!" Spike pulled back, horrified. He ran his hands over her body, checking to see if anyplace else was injured. "Are you alright? I’m such a fool. I.."

"Spike, I’m fine. You rearranged my organs, but see," and she took his hand and ran it over her chest and stomach, "everything’s all good." Spike was already pale, and if possible, he got even paler. He stepped out of her grasp, and took several deep breaths, mumbling to himself.

"Spike, you couldn’t hurt me if you tried, and you have." She smirked, and he knew the little chit was thinking about the hot wax. Well, that would keep him up tonight. "Thanks, Buff."

"Now, come here. I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you." Spike strode back over to her, and leaned against the headstone. "Why now, Buffy? We were together for months, and you never wanted to acknowledge us, so why now?"

The Big Bad wasn’t such a bad ass after all. It hurt her to hear the anguish in his voice, and know she’d caused it.

"I was thinking."

"Well, there’s your problem right there."

Buffy smacked him, playfully. "Stop it, I’m serious. Look, after the house, I didn’t think we’d happen again. I thought I’d get you out of my system." Spike turned to look at her, and what he saw made him ache on the inside. "But damnit, you were right. I crave you." Spike noted the present tense use of the verb crave, and wanted to shout. "I want you, but I also don’t want this to be about sex only. We used to be friends."

"Oh, come on, Buffy, when have we ever been friends?"

"I know. We’ll never be friends. I do remember what you said to me. I never thought it would apply to us. That’s why we have to try to make this work."

Spike was stunned. She remembered, which meant this was probably the closest Buffy was going to come to admitting she loved him. He could accept that.

She leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. "I want to try at least. Don’t you? Don’t you want to see what it would be like being out in the open, no holds barred. You and me, together." Her hand slid down and she laced her fingers through his.

"You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that." He brought their hands to his mouth, and kissed hers. "So, Ms. Summers, how do we go about this?"

Buffy jumped down, and smoothed her coat out. She turned away from a very amused Spike, took a moment to collect herself, then turned back.

"Hi, I’m Buffy Summers. And you are?"

"William Develin, but you can call me Spike."

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