Truths, Realizations, and A Baby

To say the last 2 weeks had been hectic would have been an understatement in Buffy’s opinion. Not only did she have to deal with her new relationship with Spike, but the repercussions of it. Xander was upset with her, mad at Spike, actually just plain pissed off. Anya still refused to speak to him, and Buffy herself was close to telling him to stop coming over. Tara was upset with her for lying to Willow. Dawn was so giddy, Buffy thought she might puke. Thankfully, the morning sickness was slacking off. Willow was overjoyed to have Tara around so much, but starting to get suspicious about the direction the research was going in. And to top it all off, Buffy wasn’t able to get into her favorite pair of pants.

"Dawn, if your butt isn’t down here in 2 minutes, you’re walking to school!"

Buffy closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to relieve the pressure. It was only 7:30 and she already had a headache. She knew most of the tension came from the inevitable argument she’d have with Xander when he arrived. He had taken it upon himself, ever since he walked in on a particularly hot make-out session with Spike, to remind her of the grave and stupid error she was making by getting involved with the dead. Sheesh, he didn’t give her any credit. She thought about her decision everyday. And then she thought about their baby, and how much Spike would love her. The pros of dating Spike far out weighed the cons. Besides that, she felt special and loved when she was with him. If Spike loved their child with a tenth of the love he felt for her, she’d be a lucky little girl. Buffy smiled thinking about her daughter. She hoped she had Spike’s blue eyes. Tara and Dawn had asked her why she kept referring to the baby as a girl, and Buffy had told them, that somehow she knew she was having a girl. Maybe, it had to do with being the Slayer, and girl-power, but this baby, her baby was a girl. At least, she was certain of one thing in her life. Her feelings for Spike were, well, complicated.

"Dawn!" She yelled, finally opening her eyes.

"What?” Dawn asked nearly causing Buffy to fall off the stool. “I’ve been standing right here in front of you, and you never noticed me. Thinking about Spike, again?” Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister, Spike’s greatest ally and apt pupil in mischief.

"No, just dreading my daily lecture from Xander." Dawn smiled and grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge.

"You’re dreading it. I’m dreading it. After he leaves here, I get the full ‘Dawnie, you’re too young to understand how wrong this is’ lecture. I’m sick of it. I’m considering riding the bus, and you know how much I hate that."

Dawn thought the school bus was for the true freaks in Sunnydale. Forget the actual demons and hellbeasts she’d faced, members of the chess club, the debate team, and science club were the real aliens around here.

Buffy smiled, feeling much better. At least, there was someone else sharing her pain. Spike didn’t care. Told her he’d actually enjoyed Xander catching them. Said it was the best show he’d seen in ages. Willow and Tara were staying out of it.

"I wish he understood why I’m dating Spike?" Buffy sighed, then got up to pour the lukewarm tea she’d been sipping down the drain. She turned back, and leaned against the sink.

"Why does he need to understand it, Buffy? It’s your decision. It’s your life. You lo..like Spike a lot, and he loves you. End of discussion." Dawn swiped the raisin toast off Buffy’s plate and munched on it thoughtfully.

"Buff, when are you going to tell Spike? The unwearables are piling up in your room. He’s going to notice your stomach soon. Hell, everybody’s going to notice baby Summers, there."

"Baby Summers-Develin is ruining my wardrobe. Those new brown slacks I bought 2 weeks ago?" Dawn squinted, trying to remember them.

"Can’t zip them. They are so cute, Dawn, and now, they’re in the pile." Buffy looked downright miserable.

"As far as Spike goes, I’m going to tell him this week. I want him to go to my next appointment with me. Dr. Schulz is going to do the ultrasound."

Dawn clapped her hands together excitedly. "Can I come?" Buffy smiled at her, then moaned when she heard the doorbell ring. Since Xander found them sprawled together on her bed, the front door was now locked at all times. If a demon was after you, you’d better call ahead. "Sure, Dawnie, we’ll need for you to hold the door open while Spike tries not to become a crispy fritter.”

Dawn grabbed another piece of toast and gulped down the last of her orange juice. Buffy hugged her good-bye, swung the door open, pushed Dawn out, and slammed it in Xander’s face before he could even say ‘hello’. She locked the door, not feeling the least bit guilty about shutting Xander out. Tara had left some stuff for her to read, so she sat down on the sofa, determined to get a few hours’ reading in before heading to work at 10.

Buffy thumbed through the dozen or so pages that Tara had copied from the Council site. Willow decided to narrow the search by calendar year and season. There were 5 detailed prophecies listed, but none of them mentioned anything about conception or involved a slayer and a vampire. The Council was nothing if thorough. The prophecies made for interesting reading. The Hellmouth was due for another apocalypse this winter. It was good to know she didn’t need to make any plans for Christmas. You’ll be 2 months old, my little one, and a seasoned pro by the time you’re 5. She thought sadly.

Staring bleary eyed at the ancient words, Buffy wondered again if this was the right course to take. There had to be some reason why Spike was able to get her pregnant. Vampires did not just up and have kids. Slayers didn’t either. Some force out there made it possible for her to conceive, and she wanted to know why? If it was magic, who did the spell and why would they want Spike to have a child? One thing was for certain, Spike wasn’t human. In all the months they’d been lovers, she’d never felt his skin grow warm or his heart beat, not even after hours upon hours of sex. So, that wasn’t it.

Was it the spell that brought her back? Tara had assured her the only changes were cellular, so they wouldn’t affect Spike at all.

Was her baby the key to some prophecy that might destroy the world? Please, don’t let it be that. She prayed. She was the Slayer. It was her duty to protect the world from evil. Would she be able to protect the world from her own child? Would she sacrifice her baby for the world? It was all so confusing.

Tell him. Her heart pleaded. Don’t take this burden on by yourself. It chided. Spike would be the voice of reason. He would know exactly what to say and do. What are you really afraid of? That had been Tara’s question the other night, when she pleaded with Buffy to end all this secrecy. What am I afraid of? She thought, dropping her head wearily into her hands.


Vampires are supposed to sleep during the day, and roam at night, but not Spike. He’d always liked living dangerously, besides, Buffy didn’t have to be at work until 10. That left them with a couple of hours to themselves.

“Bloody hell, open up, Slayer!” Spike yelled as he banged on the back door. Buffy jumped off the couch, racing through the house, and into the kitchen where she pulled a smoldering Spike inside. She giggled in amusement at the series of obscenities that came out of his mouth. Quite impressive. He knew quite a few.

“Explain to me this death wish you have? You, vampire. Sun, bad.”

“Well, luv. There’s something to be said about the daylight. Makes everything easier to find.“ Spike wiggled his eyebrows as he started walked menacingly towards her. Buffy knew that look meant trouble. She stepped back a few feet, grinning, but Spike kept on coming. He grabbed for her and she yelped and took off running. He caught her around the waist, laughing, and fell back on to the sofa, his body taking the brunt of the fall.

“You are such a goof.“ She laughed.

It was good to hear her laugh again. He mused, unaware Buffy was thinking the same thing. I haven’t laughed this much in months. Must be the company I’m keeping these days. She sighed as the fear in her gut slowly receded. That’s when it hit her. The rightness of him being here in her life. She had missed this: The holding, the touching, the kissing, the caressing, the moaning, the shuddering, the laughing, the gasping, the being together with their bodies connected everywhere.

Buffy clasped his hands which were still around her waist. I’m pregnant. It’d be so easy, and he’d be so happy. Of course, he wouldn’t let her out of the house again. He hated Doublemeat, and now that he knew Warren was stalking her, he was even more disdainful of the place. And why she allowed the Cro-Magnon behavior, could only be blamed on her hormones.

“Why are you here? I thought we were going to meet after work.”

Spike nuzzled the back of her neck, twisting so they were laying on their sides on the couch.

“Well,” he whispered in her ear, “I knew this was Willow’s early day at school, so I thought I’d cook you breakfast this morning.”

Spike couldn’t see Buffy’s face, but he knew she didn’t believe a word of that drivel. It wasn’t as if he could come right out and say ‘I wanted to make sure you were okay’. Buffy was an independent woman. She didn’t like to be coddled. He had to thank the baby when she was born for mellowing her mom out. The Buffy he knew and loved would have never put up with the overprotectiveness he’d been displaying the last 2 weeks.

“That’s so lame, I’m not even going to bother laughing at that.” A small part, a really small part of her, liked having Spike looking out for her. There were perks to this dating thing, Buffy decided and wriggled closer to Spike. Yep, definite perks, she thought with a smile, when she heard Spike’s gasp.

“Watch it, Buffy. Humans aren’t the only ones who get morning stif..”

“Finish that thought, and out the house you go.” She felt his laughter deep in her belly.

“Seriously, you can’t get comfortable. I have to be at work at 10. Lorraine’s been more than understanding these last few weeks, but she won’t be if I’m late today.”

“Well, luv“, he said as his hand crept over her hip, eliciting a tremble from her. “I can do a lot of things in the time you have left.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Ah, that would be no, but thanks for trying.“ One track mind. She tried to summon righteous indignation, but she couldn’t, not with him stroking her back.

Buffy bent over, giving Spike a nice view of her bare back, and started picking up the research papers. Spike saw the papers strewn across the table, and picked one up.

"What’s this, Buffy?" Buffy tried to swipe it out of his hands, but he pulled it back out of her reach. He quickly scanned the sheet, a sense of dread spreading through his body.

"Why are you looking into prophecies?" Spike sat up, seeing her features shadowed in fear.

"I..I.." What could she say? I want to know why your boys are active. I want to know how you got me pregnant. I want to know if this child of ours will be the destroyer of the world. Spike grabbed her trembling hands, and pulled her into his lap.

"Tell me. Come on, Slayer, we’re in this together. Don’t you know that by now, you silly bint?"

Buffy wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, letting his coolness seep into her weary bones. Spike ran his hands down her back, trying to comfort her. He didn’t know what had changed the laughing woman from last night into this scared young girl, but he was determined to bring her back.

"Is it Social Services?" Buffy mumbled no into the crook of his neck.

"Did you lose your job?" Again, she said no.

"Well, what is it, luv? Is it the Bit?" Buffy shook her head, and hugged him tighter. Luckily, he didn’t need to breathe because she was crushing his windpipe.

“Are you worried those blokes could hurt you? Find some obscure prophecy to defeat you.” She nodded. “Buffy, I wanted to kill you for years. If there was something like that out there, I would have found it.” He felt her smile, and it comforted him. Was there something out there, something he’d missed that could do her some harm? He hoped not.

Buffy pressed her lips into his cool skin. It would be so easy to let him take over, solve all her problems. For once, she wouldn’t have to be the strong one. She could lean on someone else for a change.

"I’m pregnant." Spike hid his smile in her hair.

"What did you say? It was kinda muffled." He pulled at her arms, finally succeeding in releasing the death grip she had on his neck. He looked her steadily in the eyes.

"Now, say it again, slowly." Buffy swallowed, the lump in her throat huge. Her eyes watered. This was so hard, but he was looking at her with so much love and affection. It’ll be okay. I trust him. I know I’m making the right decision. She assured herself.

"I’m pregnant." She waited nervously while the words sunk in. Oh, god, she thought, panicked. He doesn’t want us.

Even though, he knew, had known for weeks, hearing her say it, nearly brought Spike to his tears. "I know." Spike’s eyes twinkled brightly.

"What?" Buffy shouted, immediately on the defensive, totally forgetting her fear. She attempted to climb out of his lap, but he held her firmly in his grasp.

"Now, relax Buffy. Dawn didn’t tell me, neither did Tara." He replied to the accusations and threats coming out her mouth.

"Buffy, I’m a vampire. I heard your heartbeats. Yours and the baby."

"Oh." She said simply, momentarily stunned. He‘d known all this time, and didn‘t tell her. Oh, but he told someone. I’m going to kill Dawn. There was no way the little schemer didn’t know all about this. Spike saw that murderous gleam in her eye. He and Dawn were in big trouble.

"Now before you get all huffy and mad," he said, drawing Buffy’s attention back to him, "thank you”. Spike cupped Buffy’s face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks.

“I never thought about kids, you know, being dead and all. Until the Bit, never wanted one of my own. Now," he said taking her hand in his and rubbing her stomach, “you’ve given me this precious gift, something that no evil thing like me should want or deserves." Buffy shuddered. She could feel his love radiating off of him, and it was amazing.

"I love you so much." Okay, she thought, that does it. If I don’t love him, I’m a fool. Her heart was racing. Her mind was wheeling. She felt faint and dizzy.

"Spike, I.." She wanted to say more but Spike kissed her, his tears and hers mixing together. And then there was no need to talk, as their bodies spoke volumes. It had never been this slow, this awe-inspiring. Except that one time when she’d allowed him to make love to her. The emotions and feelings he’d stirred in her had terrified her with their intensity. As he lay in bed, sleeping peacefully, sated, she’d jumped up, grabbed her clothes, and fled the crypt, running as fast as her legs would take her.

Buffy ran her hand over Spike’s shoulder, languidly. She felt good, and the reason for that was nestled quite comfortably at her neck. “You okay, down there? You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet.” Spike laughed, and nipped the tender flesh at her neck.

“Still in shock, pet.” Spike shifted till he was on his side, his head resting in his hand. “We’re having a baby. You and me. Vampire and Slayer. Can’t we ever just follow the rules, luv?”

Buffy ran her fingers through his mussed curls. “Nope. That’s not our style.” She leaned over and kissed him softly on the nose before continuing. “It’s all I’ve thought about for the last 2 weeks. How did this happen?”

“Well, aside from trying really, really hard. I’m stumped.” When she didn’t respond back, he knew something was troubling her. Spike searched her hazel eyes, then glanced at the prophecies.

“You’re worried the baby will be evil, and you’ll have to do another Acathla?” Buffy could do nothing but nod. Spike stroked her stomach, his heart overwhelmed with love for her, for his child.

“Won’t be like that, Buffy. We won’t let that happen.” Buffy laced her fingers with his, trying to believe him.

“I’m sorry. You must think I’m awful.” Her bottom lip trembled, and Spike could tell she was fighting the urge to cry.

“Hey, now. I’m the evil one here, Buffy. Look at me.” Buffy shook her head, stubbornly.

“Fine, but listen carefully. I liked being evil. I was good at it, but you changed me. All that soddin goodness and light. I didn’t want to, but you made me want to change. I wanted to be a better man for you. This child, our child, will have your goodness, your strength, your love. She‘ll never be evil. She has too much of you in her to be anything else.”

“What about you?” Buffy asked, humbled by this creature of the night, her sworn enemy, her lover.

“What about me?” Spike asked defensively.

“Don’t you think she’ll have part of you in her too?”

Spike’s eyes flashed with pain. His soullessness. She actually thought the baby would be evil because of him, because he didn’t have a soul like the poofter.

Buffy shook her head. He was so easily hurt, and he thought he was the Big Bad.

“Spike,” Buffy sighed exasperated. “I’m not talking about you being evil, damnit! Do you think I’m blind? I know you’ve changed.” When was the last time, she’d thought of him as being evil? She couldn’t even remember. Buffy took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. It was now or never.

“I look at you, and... all I see is this man who loves me, loves my sister, tolerates my friends.” She had to make him see. “I should be thanking you. All the things I’ve done, and you never left. You stayed, and now, I’m going to have a baby. Our baby.” Buffy wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

Spike was speechless. He didn’t know what to say. She thought of him as a man. When had that happened. “I didn’t think you even liked me.” Spike said surprised.

“I like you. Sometimes.” She said softly. Spike snickered. God help him, he loved her.

“I know.” He said, leaning over and sucking on her bottom lip. Buffy threaded her hands through his hair and pulled him up to her mouth. The kiss was forceful and passionate. It spoke of a love both shared, but one of them was too afraid to admit out loud. Spike wanted to devour her. Buffy threw her head back, breathlessly.

“No, we can’t.” She gushed, trying to remember why they couldn’t continue. “I’ve got to go to work.” She said, suddenly remembering she had a job.

The only response from Spike was to slip further down her body, kissing her collarbone, the valley between her breasts, before latching on to a nipple. Buffy hissed in pleasure. When he looked up at her, his lips posed over her slightly swelled belly, his eyes had turned midnight blue with desire. He took her breath away. He gave her back her life. He gave her a child. Doublemeat could wait. She thought as her body arched into Spike’s lips. Possibly forever.

Too Good to Last, Especially in Sunnydale

"Well, congratulations, Buffy. That’s great news." Lorraine said enthusiastically to the young woman sitting across from her. Buffy didn’t feel guilty in the least bit for lying to Lorraine. Buffy’s little fib about just finding out about her pregnancy had staved off her firing for another day. "You’re so lucky your exposure to those toxins didn’t hurt the baby. Yes, we were very lucky." Buffy admitted sincerely. "The baby is fine. The doctor says she’s healthy, that we both are."

Lorraine wasn’t a bad boss. Buffy just hated working here, not like Doublemeat was her dream job. "Let me know when you need to go to part-time. I remember my first pregnancy…" Lorraine was saying before the phone rang, cutting her off. Buffy looked heavenward and said a silent thanks. She waved and mouthed ‘see ya later, and backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door, and breathed a sigh of relief. Looking down at her day-glow orange uniform and stupid cow/chicken hat, she sighed. "I gave up sex with Spike for this!"

Spike sat up when he saw Buffy come to the register. She’d been inside at least a half-hour, and there’d been no sign of her. Since then, he had tried to stamp down the fear he felt for her and their child. "This is bloody ridiculous." He said to himself. Spike leaned over the steering wheel, staring at the tiny woman who had captured his dead heart. Silly chit had insisted on coming to work. He tried everything in his extensive repertoire to convince her to stay and play. He knew Buffy was more than capable of taking care of herself, but he just got her back. Maybe, one day, this desire, this need to be near her would wane. Yeah, right. If he were honest, he never wanted it to end, that thrill he got each and every time he saw her, touched her. Scanning the area one last time, Spike grabbed the book he’d swiped from the library, "Dr. Spock’s Guide to Good Parenting."

Warren and company were also watching Doublemeat and from their vantage points they could clearly see Spike’s car. They knew he watched the restaurant, but that was okay. As long as Spike was here, he wouldn’t be watching their real target: Dawn. Once they had the Slayer’s sister, they would have her. Buffy wouldn’t hesitate to trade her life for her baby sister’s. The time for them to attack was near, and it was only a matter of time before the Slayer was dead.


Anya turned as the bell above the door jingled. "Ah, here’s my not-so-trusty assistant. Dawn, you’re late. Don’t you know it’s important to be punctual when you’re in business?" Anya counted the last of the money out before replacing it in the register.

"I know, Anya, but I had to talk to my guidance counselor after school."

"Hallie?" Ayna wondered what game Hallie was playing now with Dawn. Buffy would be very angry and probably homicidal if Hallie granted Dawn anymore wishes. Oh, well, she shrugged.

"No, my real guidance counselor. I’ve learned my lesson, Anya." Dawn said a bit hurt. Dawn removed her book bag, and stowed it behind the counter. She picked up the duster, and began to move the familiar pattern around the store. She dusted the skulls and other novelties first, then hit the books and herbs. Same thing, everyday. Nothing different. Anya chatted away about any and everything. She never mentioned Xander or the wedding, but there were moments when she’d get really quite, and Dawn knew she was thinking about him.

"So, Anya, since I’m slowly regaining your trust, do you think I can run the register next week?" From the jaw-dropped look on Anya’s face, Dawn supposed not.

"Dawn, the money machine is for me only. I’m the manager. I deserve to play with the money. You don’t. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just, well, I don’t trust anyone." Anya blinked to keep the tears in check. "I trusted Xander and look where that got me."

Dawn put the feather duster down, and walked over to Anya. She awkwardly patted her on the back. Dawn’s presence surprisingly cheered Anya. It seemed like the rest of them were on Xander’s side, even Buffy who’d been dumped by three men in her short life. You’d think she’d be a bit more understanding. Anya thought. She liked Dawn, in an annoying sort of way. The girl had spunk. She hoped she never let anyone try to change her.

"Well, let’s get back to work. I got a new shipment in last night, so we’ve got some inventory to do." Anya pulled a huge notebook, labeled ‘Shipments’ out from under the counter. "Okay, the shipping manifest says we got in a lot of the herbs we were running low on, a couple of magic books from old Persia, animal feet, and oh, who ordered that?” Anya pulled a box with customer special order forms out, and began flipping through them. "Oh, Tara. Why would Tara order a book on fertility? Do you think she has a new lover? Maybe, they want to have a baby like that singer. That’s nice, in a non-conventional, no fun with a male, sort of way.”

Dawn, who had been half-listening to Anya, suddenly straightened up. “Ah, who knows? Maybe, it’s for a class or something?“ Dawn said nervously. Please don’t put two and two together. She thought frantically. Too late.

“That’s the second book she’s ordered. Anya crossed her arms over her chest, her brow furrowed in concentration. “First, the book on prophecies and now this book on fertility.“

“Anya, shouldn’t we get to the inventory. You know Buffy likes for me to work, work, work, since I was bad, bad, bad.“ Dawn was babbling, and in Anya’s book that meant something was up. Anya stared at Dawn, who was becoming increasing uncomfortable under the ex-demon’s scrutiny. "Dawn, this wouldn’t have anything to do with Buffy being pregnant, would it?" Anya figured she had her answer when all the color left Dawn’s face.

Dawn tried to play cool, unaware her ashen face gave her away. "What are you talking about? Buffy’s not pregnant. That’s ridiculous. I’m mean she’s not involved with anybody."

Anya was on a roll, so she gambled again. "She’s seeing Spike, isn’t she? I’m not so much out of the loop, I don’t know that little fact. So, Spike got Buffy pregnant. Interesting. Not entirely impossible. It has happened before."

"What?!" Dawn felt faint. She was absolutely shocked by Anya’s statement. She grabbed Anya by the arms. "What has happened before?" She shrieked.

"Hands off, Dawn. Gee, for a mystical key, you’ve got a strong grip, there." Anya sat down at the research table, and waited patiently for Dawn to take her seat.

"Let’s see, I was in Paris cursing that philandering duke. Had to be before the French Revolution, of course." Anya tapped her finger against her lip, trying to remember the exact year.

"Anya, could we skip the history lesson? What do you know?" Dawn was anxious to hear the story. Anya tsked tsked. "So rude." She commented, but held up her hand to halt any further protest. "Okay, there was a Slayer, a young French girl, who was rumored to be shacking up with a vamp. Rumor further had it that she was pregnant by her lover. I left France shortly after that story came out, so I don’t know what happened to her." Anya crossed her arms over her chest. "So, Buffy really is pregnant." She said incredulously.

"You knew. You said you knew." Dawn said, panicked. If Buffy found out, she’d let it slip, she’d surely kill her. "Look, Dawn, I tricked you. I suspected a few weeks ago when she was sick that she might have been pregnant. We’ll tell Buffy I figured it out on my own, which is the truth, just not the entire truth." Anya patted Dawn’s hand to reassure her.

"I need a drink." Dawn said, and Anya agreed. "I need one, too. Let’s go down to the Java Hut. You can have some non-alcoholic drink and I’ll have a double expresso." Dawn knew Buffy didn’t want her on the streets alone, but going with Anya wasn’t against the rules. Besides, the Java Hut was just a few blocks down. She grabbed some money out of her bag, and stood at the door waiting for Anya. They locked up and walked amiably down the street.

"Anya, I know you don’t come over anymore because of Xander, but we could really use your help with the research. You’ve been alive longer than any of us, well, except me, but I don’t know anything."

Anya twisted her ring finger, the absence of her engagement ring still a shock after all this time. "I’ll do anything I can to help, Dawn, but I’m not ready to be a member of the Scooby gang again." Dawn was sad to hear that. She had truly missed Anya’s unique brand of support. Straightforward and to the point. That was Anya, and Dawn liked that. She and Spike were very much alike. Good thing, they weren’t attracted to each other or Buffy would be in trouble.


Warren turned the van onto Main Street. The Magic Box was up ahead. He slowed the van to a crawl, wanting to take a good look inside before pulling around back. Imagine his surprise, when Anya and Dawn walked out. They didn’t notice the van that stalked their movements. They were deeply engrossed in their conversation.

"This is perfect. We can grab Buffy’s little sis, and no one will be the wiser. We may have to get rid of Xander’s ex, but she shouldn’t be too hard to get out of the way." Warren licked his lips, thinking about what he had planned for Buffy. She would suffer. Oh, she would suffer for humiliating him, for taking Katrina away from him the first time. How dare she spoil his plans! He was ten times smarter than Buffy. She would pay. He couldn’t wait.

"Warren, are you sure?" Andrew asked timidly. Ever since, Katrina’s death, he’d been Warren’s lap dog. He followed him around, moronically obedient. Jonathan rolled his eyes at them in disgust. He hoped Buffy kicked their asses. He included himself in that ass-kicking because he should have never gotten involved with them in the first place.

"Yes, Andrew. Now, there’s a side street next to the Java Hut. I’ll park there. As they get closer, demon boy will jump out scare the other patrons, and I’ll grab Dawn. Andrew, you make sure, Dawn is separated from Anya. Now, can you do this without botching things up?”


Xander told himself he wasn’t spying on Anya, just making sure she was okay. He had done this several times over the last two weeks, driving by the Magic Shop to watch her as she dusted or chatted with clients. He made sure she never saw him. Her message to him was clear: Stay out of my life. He hated what he’d done to their relationship. He had royally fucked it up. She didn’t even want to be friends. He could understand that, but it didn’t stop him from caring about her. These weeks alone had been a wake-up call to him. He needed her. He missed her laughter, her outrageousness. He missed hearing her opinion on everything. He had been a royal ass where Anya was concerned. He’d tried to mold Anya in Buffy and Willow’s images, and that was unfair to her. Xander parked his truck near the Java Hut and got out. If he saw Anya, he could explain that he was just getting some coffee, nothing more.

As he walked down the street, his mind kept replaying the scene in Buffy’s room. As usual, he hadn’t knocked, just walked into Buffy’s house. He called her name, but she didn’t appear. So when he heard noises coming from upstairs, he went on up, assuming, wrongly, that Buffy was in the house alone. It seemed as if he were watching things in slow motion. The Buffy he thought he knew was laughing seductively as she straddled Spike, his hands caressing her butt. It hit him like a ton of bricks. The crypt wasn’t just a one-time fling. All the insults and fighting had led to this. They were lovers, in every sense of the word. They had a familiarity he recognized from his relationship with Anya. It was shocking in its vividness. In that moment, he knew Spike and Anya were right. He had been harboring some unresolved feelings for Buffy. He did love her, but Buffy was never going to look at him the way she looked at Spike. She was never going to consider him as being the one, the guy. The realization nearly knocked him to his knees.

“Oh, God.” He moaned, and jumped back as a pair of blue and green eyes speared him to the floor. Buffy scrambled off of Spike, her face bright red with embarrassment. Spike cursed him through clenched teeth. His momentary shock was pushed aside by the anger he felt. It was the last straw for him. He snapped and called her a demon lover. Told her how disappointed and ashamed he was of her. Buffy sat there with her chin held high and tears in her eyes. She made no move to defend herself, but kept her hand on Spike’s arm to restrain him. Xander saw the gesture and cursed. He wanted Spike to attack him, needed him to, but he didn’t.

“Spike, would you give us a minute?” Buffy implored with a weariness Xander recognized. “Are you sure, Pet? You don’t have to listen to this wanker.” She smiled at that, and then to Spike and Xander’s utter amazement, leaned over and kissed Spike on the lips. Brief, though, the kiss was, it spoke volumes to both men. Spike stood, his blue eyes ablaze with contempt, and stomped out of the room.

“Tell me why you’re rolling around like a dog in heat with the undead, Buffy. Tell me why you would let Spike touch you.” Xander demanded.

“I don’t owe you any explanation, Xander. I’m an adult. You don’t get to make my decisions for me. I want to be with Spike. I am with Spike. We’re..we’re dating now.” Buffy continued to stare at him, daring him to continue his verbal assault.

“That’s just perfect, Buffy. You’re supposed to fight evil, not date it. Didn’t you learn how dangerous it is to play with vampires? Wasn’t Angel’s betrayal enough?” Buffy heard Spike’s ‘bloody hell’ from downstairs.

“Don’t bring Angel into this. This is not about him. This is about Spike and me.” She stood up, straightening her shirt. “Spike has done a lot for me, for all of us.” She pointed out. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that he’s changed. Hell, you worked with him while I was dead. You let him watch after Dawn. He must not have been that evil if you trusted the well-being of my sister to him. So, why now are you acting like this?” Buffy rubbed her stomach. She hated getting upset, knowing that the baby would be exposed to her bad vibes. Which was a bit of an irony to Buffy considering what she did for fun.

“Listen, Xander, this is my life. I’m not asking your permission. I love you. You’re my best friend, but you don’t get to dictate who I date. I’m with Spike. Deal with it.” And with that, she got up and went downstairs to him, leaving Xander rooted to the ground wondering what had just happened.

Xander shook himself from his reverie. He crossed the alley and stopped. A familiar black van was parked behind the dumpster. Warren. Xander was immediately wary. He searched the street in vain looking for Warren and his counterparts. What were they doing here? He looked up and his stomach dropped. Anya and Dawn were coming down the street, apparently headed to the Java Hut. He went to call out to them, when he felt a presence behind him. He only had a second to defend himself before Warren attacked. Xander fell to the ground unconscious. Warren dragged Xander back into the alley.

Anya stopped suddenly a few feet from the front door of the café.

"What’s wrong, Anya?" Anya looked around, perplexed. "I thought I saw Xander." Dawn looked around, but didn’t see him. "I don’t see him. Maybe, he ducked into another store." She offered helpfully.

"Yeah, maybe." Anya continued to stare down the street. "Come on, let’s get inside."

Warren gave Jonathan the prearranged signal to attack. Jonathan ran straight for the patio and started throwing chairs and tables around, scattering the Java Hut’s customers. Dawn and Anya were caught up in the rush of screaming people. Anya grabbed Dawn’s hand, and held it tightly. "Don’t let go." She ordered. Andrew pushed through the crowd, till he was directly behind the cowering girls. He ran towards them, knocking Anya to the ground. Dawn felt a hand grasped her arm tightly, wrenching a startled scream from the young girl. She looked frantically for Anya, but couldn’t find her. "Let me go! Anya! Anya!" Dawn got a glimpse of the person dragging her to the back of the café. "Someone help me! Get your hands off me, Warren! Buffy’s going to kick your ass!" Warren cuffed her and told her to shut her trap. He pushed his way through the kitchen. Dawn knew she had to get away. She couldn’t let him take her. Once outside, Dawn kicked and clawed at Warren, who wasn’t expecting the younger Summers to fight back. He thought she’d be too terrified to do anything, but he was mistaken. Warren punched Dawn hard, knocking the young girl out. He picked her up and carried her the short distance to the van.

Anya raised herself off the floor, and scanned the now empty restaurant for Dawn. She saw her being dragged out the back. A nerdy blond guy stood next to her, seemingly paralyzed with fear. Anya stood on shaky legs, and went to follow Dawn and her captor. The young man grabbed her.

"Ah, you can’t go back there. Warre… oops! I mean it’s dangerous." Anya’s eyes widened. Andrew cried out in pain as Anya’s tiny foot greeted his groin. Anya watched in mild amusement as he sunk to the ground, clutching his crotch. "That’ll teach you to mess with a former vengeance demon." She yelled over her shoulder as she raced to save Dawn.

The shouting brought Xander back to consciousness. The last thing he remembered was the black van, Anya and Dawn, then blackness. "Dawn." He scrambled to his feet, willing his head to stop spinning. Dawn was hitting and attempting to scratch Warren’s eyes out. Xander shouted when he saw Warren viciously punch Dawn in the face, knocking her out.

Warren hopped in the back, and secured Dawn’s wrists. He was too preoccupied congratulating himself on the success of his plan, so he never saw Xander approaching the van. Anya halted when she saw Xander. "Xander," She said relieved. "Warren’s got Dawn."

"I know. He hit me over the head right before the attack. His van is up ahead." Xander and Anya cautiously made their way towards the van, making sure to stay out of Warren’s view. They had a plan and could only hope it would work. Anya would yank the van door open, and Xander would grab Dawn. Warren jumped in the front, starting the van, unaware Xander and Anya were next to him. He yelped as the side door suddenly opened. "No!" He screamed before Xander sucker punched him in the gut. Xander grabbed Dawn, and pulled her to safety. Warren, clutching his stomach, attempted to jump over the seat after them when he heard the sirens.

"Shit!" Andrew and Jonathan, now back in human form, waved at him from the street. Warren threw the vehicle into drive, and burned rubber as he flew by the three dazed friends. Anya and Xander helped Dawn to her feet, sheltering the frightened girl in their arms. "Dawnie, you’re safe. He’s not going to hurt you."

Dawn was still a little woozy, and could only nod slightly. She clung tightly to them. "I don’t know what would have happened if you guys hadn't gotten to me." She said, her voice shaky. Anya stroked her hair, trying to calm Dawn down, while thanking the gods for keeping her safe.

"Hey, we’re okay. We’ve faced tougher demons that those three." Anya said confidently, though, her insides were jello. She felt Xander’s hand resting between her shoulder blades, and leaned into his body, grateful for his strength.

"Are you folks okay?" Three pairs of startled eyes looked at the policeman. "Were any of you injured in the melee?" They all shook their heads. The cop saw Dawn‘s bloodied lip, and immediately became suspicious. "What happened here?" They were all hesitant to get the police involved, but Warren was too dangerous. Besides, the police could be on the lookout for the van.

"Some guy tried to mug me. My friends were able to stop him before he…" Dawn dissolved into tears. The terror she’d felt moments earlier coming back in full force.

"Okay, let’s get you down to the station. We need to contact your parents."

"My mother’s dead. My sister is my guardian. She’s at work."

"I’ll call Buffy, Dawn. You go with the policeman. Anya will stay with you. I’ll bring Buffy to you. Okay?" Xander cupped Dawn’s face. Dawn nodded, sniffling. Anya held her hand as they were led to the squad car.

Willow and Tara were just coming out of their English Literature class when Tara’s cell phone rang. It was Xander, calling to tell them about the nerds’ attempted kidnapping of Dawn. Xander reassured them Dawn and Anya were safe, only suffering a few bumps and bruises. They were at police headquarters giving their statements.

"I’m going to get Buffy, and take her to the police station. We’ll meet up later." Xander hung up quickly. He had to get to Buffy. Dawn needed her.


Spike paced back and forth in front of the door, anxiously awaiting Buffy and Dawn. He should have gone with her to the police station. Shouldn’t have let her convince me to come here. He thought again for the hundredth time. She was right of, course, but that didn’t stop him from second guessing himself. Those bastards had actually tried to steal the Bit, in broad daylight, no less. Spike’s fists clenched thinking of Warren’s grubby hands on Dawn.

"Spike, why don’t you try to relax. Xander called. They’ll be here shortly." Willow implored, though her skin itched with the need to make Warren pay for harming Dawn. Tara watched Willow carefully. She had felt the dark aura settle over Willow back at school, but she’d said nothing, preferring to keep her own counsel. Willow had to learn to control her anger on her own. Tara was just as angry and worried about Dawn as Spike and Willow, but she also knew nothing would be accomplish in resorting to violence.

Spike yanked the door open, as he heard Xander’s truck pull up. Dawn had her arm wrapped around Buffy’s waist, her face partially hidden by her hair. When she saw Spike, she broke away from Buffy, and ran into his waiting arms. Spike reached out a hand to Buffy, and she grabbed it. Xander watched the scene before him, and couldn’t help, but feel a twinge of jealousy.

"Hey, how’s my Bit?" Spike said as pushed Dawn’s hair out of her face. When he saw the bruise on her cheek, he swore. "Bastard." Dawn covered her cheek with her hand, somewhat ashamed. "I’m so sorry, he did this to you." Dawn saw Tara and Willow, and with one last smile for Spike, allowed the witches to lead her upstairs.

"Where’s Anya?" Spike inquired, trying to gauge Buffy’s emotional state. Buffy had pulled her jacket off and was sitting stone-faced on the sofa. She seemed in shock.

"She went back to the Magic Box. She said she was fine, nothing she hadn’t faced before." Xander answered. He had noticed Buffy’s strange reaction too.

Spike sat next to Buffy on the sofa, and reached for her hand. She jumped, as if suddenly remembering he was there. Xander sat in the chair across from them. "What is it, Buff?"

"Dawn. Because of me, my baby sister was terrorized and hurt. Hasn‘t she been through enough?" She said, squeezing Spike’s hand. "She’s totally innocent."

"Don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself for this, Buffy? Fuck, you are not responsible for the actions of some loony wanker. Warren is the culprit here, not you. Not Dawn. Hell, not any of you." Spike stood up, his hands patting his pockets for his cigarettes. Damnit, he hadn’t had a cigarette in weeks. Now, this poser was causing him to crave nicotine again.

"Spike’s right, Buffy. Warren has some serious issues. There was no way you could have known he would go after Dawn." Xander offered, scooting over to sit next to Buffy on the couch. Spike growled his displeasure, but settled for leaning against the wall, his eyes darting up the stairs.

"We’ll get Warren, Pet. He’s a stupid git. Going after Dawn in broad daylight was insane, but typical for him. Has to make a big show of things. He can’t settle for being subtle. He’ll trip up, and we’ll be there to finish this once and for all." Buffy stroked her stomach, fear for her child and Dawn causing her to cramp.

"Are you feeling okay, Buffy? You’re not sick again, are you?" Buffy looked up, startled.

"Wh..why do you ask?" She asked, exchanging a look with Spike, who merely shrugged.

"Oh, well, it’s nothing. You’ve just been rubbing your stomach a lot lately. I'm concerned, Buff, that’s all." Buffy laughed, slightly relieved, though still on edge. “Thanks, Xand, but I’m alright.”

Willow’s appearance at the foot of the stairs, allowed Buffy to switch topics. "How is she? Do I need to go up there?"

Willow plopped down in Xander’s vacated seat. "No, she’s fine. A little worried about the bruise on her chin, but Tara told her she’d do a glamour spell for school tomorrow. She said she wanted to take a shower, then call Anya."

“Good.” Buffy stood up and walked over to Spike. It was still a shock to see Buffy and Spike so touchy, feely with each other. Willow averted her eyes, wincing when she heard Xander curse. Buffy didn’t care. This was something they were going to have to get used to. She needed Spike’s strength. Needed his level head to keep her from going out and killing Warren. Spike pulled her closer, kneading the knots out of her shoulders. Buffy sighed and leaned gratefully into his strong body.

"He went after her. He went after Dawn to get to me." She said softly, knowing the others couldn’t hear them. "What will he do..?" She didn’t finish. She didn’t have to. Spike knew she was worried how far Warren would go to hurt Buffy. Would the bastard go after their child when he found out she was pregnant?

"I know, luv. It’ll never happen. I’ll die before I let him harm a hair on the tyke’s head.”

Buffy stilled his hand with hers, leaning her head on their clasped hands. “We won’t let it get that far.“ She whispered. No one was dying. No one was going to be sacrificed. Not this time.

“What do you want to do, Buff?” Xander asked, interrupting.

“I want Anya to stay here with us. Tara, too. If he’ll go after Dawn, he’ll go after them. I don’t want to take any chances with their safety.” Buffy answered, pulling away from Spike.

“Tara said she’d stay tonight.” Willow interjected. “We need to find out where they are staying. I’ll check the rental offices again, but to be honest, I don’t think that will help.”

“They could be in any number of caves or abandoned houses around here.” Spike added.

“So, that’s where we start. We can pretty much eliminate the cemeteries. We’ve patrolled there every night for the last two weeks. We would have stumbled onto them by now.” Buffy rubbed her head.

“You know who might be able to help us?” Spike offered. “Willie. He knows most of what’s going on in this town, and Warren definitely used a demon to contact that bloke that attacked you.” Spike massaged the muscles at the base of Buffy‘s neck. She had to restrain herself from moaning out loud.

“Okay, so I’ll go beat the info out of Willie and do a quick patrol. Xander, do you think you can convince Anya to stay here tonight?”

Xander leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “I don’t know, Buffy.” He said skeptically. “Anya barely talked to me at the police station. She might listen to reason, but who knows?”

“Anya’s coming by here after work.” A freshly-showered Dawn announced as she walked into the den.

“Feeling better?” Buffy asked. Dawn nodded and smiled happily, as she stood between the two people she loved the most.

“Willow, you stay here with Tara and Dawn. Do some more research. Spike, check out the warehouses downtown. Warren will need someplace big to set up his lair.“ Buffy said, snickering, putting lair in air quotes. “I’ll go to Willie’s.”

“I'm going with you.” Spike told her.

“No you‘re not. I can handle this by myself.” Buffy argued.

“What part of “they want you dead’ didn’t you understand? Do you think you can take them on by yourself with their stupid gadgets and demon-shifting?” Spike growled. He wasn’t going to let her go off by herself, and that was final.

“You don’t get a say, Spike.” Buffy said, bristling at his tone. How dare he tell her what to do!

“Like hell, I don’t. If you’ve forgotten, that’s my..” Buffy glared him into silence. “I haven’t forgotten anything, but this is my job. I’m the Slayer.”

“Spike‘s right, Buffy.” All eyes shifted to Dawn. “This isn’t just about you anymore.” Tara silently agreed, but knew her opinion would not be appreciated at the moment.

“I’ll be careful. But you’ve got to understand, I’m always in danger. This time is no different.”

Spike, who’d been quietly seething, shouted. “This time is very different, Buffy! If you don’t understand that, then I have to wonder if you really want it.” He never saw her fist as it landed and threw him across the room. He landed in a heap by fireplace.

Buffy stood over him, her entire body shaking with anger. “How dare you? I would never put her in danger!”

Xander almost danced a jig, he was so happy to see Buffy put Spike in his place. Willow, though, was in shock. Something wasn’t right here. Were they talking about Dawn?

Buffy and Spike continued to glare at each other. Spike picked himself off the floor, absently wiping the blood from his lip. “Really. Well, you seem awful eager to go running blindly into danger. You don’t have to be a fucking martyr all of the time! Let me help you.” He could strangle her. He could absolutely kill her when she was like this. He knew she was scared, and she should be, but now wasn’t the time to play Wonder Woman.

“Hey, guys, come on. Stop this. It isn’t helping.” Tara said, being the voice of reason. Willow fell back onto the sofa, her minds whirling in disbelief. Slowly the pieces were starting to fall into place. Spike and Buffy. Buffy’s sudden interest in prophecies and spells. Buffy’s bouts of nausea and fatigue. Spike’s over-over-protectiveness. Oh, my goddess!

“You’re both right. Buffy, Warren wants you dead for some strange reason. All Spike wants is for you to be safe. You know he cares.” Tara stroked Buffy’s arm, trying to get her to relax. “This is a dangerous time for you, for all of us. We don’t know what Warren is planning. You don’t know who he’s enlisted to help him. Walking into Willie’s alone, could be very dangerous. Let’s not do anything rash.”

“Now, here’s what I propose. Willow will do some hacking. Maybe, she can pick up Warren’s trail. Spike will go to Willie’s. The demons will probably be more cooperative if the Slayer's not there. You and Xander search the warehouses, then drop by the Magic Box for Anya.” Tara quietly stated her plan, then sat down. It was a good plan and Buffy knew it. She was still smarting from Spike’s harsh words, though.

Dawn pulled her aside. “Please, Buffy. I’d feel much better if you weren’t out there by yourself." Dawn pleaded. “I know you think it’s your duty to protect us, but there’s someone else you have to consider in all of this.” Dawn’s clear blue eyes settled on Spike. He looked tense, like he was ready to explode at any minute. Dawn actually felt sorry for the demons out tonight. The Big Bad was bristling for a fight. “Don’t be mad at Spike. He didn’t mean it. He’s just worried, that’s all.”

Buffy looked over Dawn’s shoulder and found Spike staring at them. “I know he’s worried, but you know I’d never do anything to harm my baby.” Dawn nodded.

“I know, but give him a break, Buffy. This is new to him, too.” Buffy couldn’t forgive him, not yet. It hurt. After this morning, how could he doubt how much she wanted this child?

“Come on, Xander, let’s go. We won’t be gone long.” She assured Dawn. Buffy stubbornly ignored Spike.

Spike snorted. She wants to leave things like this? Fine with me. Spike stalked out of house, nearly throwing Xander to the ground in his haste to be away from Buffy. Buffy watched him go, her heart screaming at her to talk to him. If that’s the way he wants this to go down, fine by me.

“Buffy?” Willow said, trying to get her attention. “When you get back, we need to talk.”

“Um, okay, sure. Will, is it important? Cause we can talk now.” Buffy tried to see if there was anything in Willow’s eyes that would give her a clue as to what she needed to talk about, but Willow’s face was devoid of anything other than her usual concern and love.

“No, it can wait till you come back.”

“Ok. See ya in a few.” Buffy closed the door behind her and headed to Xander’s truck.

Willow waited till Dawn and Tara were seated and asked, “Buffy’s pregnant, isn’t she?”

Discovery & Acceptance

Ch. 8
Dawn choked. Tara paled. Willow watched them closely. Buffy’s pregnant. That simple statement was repeated over and over in her head, till she finally screamed at her mind to shut up.

“How long have you known, Willow?” Dawn asked. “Does Xander know?” Dawn looked at her sharply. “Does Xander know?” She demanded.

Willow saw the determined look on Dawn’s face, and took a step back. “No, he doesn’t know. I just figured this out myself tonight. Why didn’t you tell me?” She said, hurt and confused. Tara lowered her eyes, her guilt overwhelming.

“It wasn’t our secret to tell. It still isn’t.” Dawn answered, seeing Tara struggle to answer. “You’ll have to talk to Buffy, but know this, if you’re going to criticize her for being with Spike, then don’t. Buffy doesn’t need your disapproval. She’s got more than enough to deal with.” Dawn lowered her head.

“Look, Willow, Buffy loves you. She loves you so much she was willing to give up the one man who loves her unconditionally. They have a second chance now with the baby. Don’t ruin this for them.” Dawn shuffled her feet, embarrassed at her outburst. “I’m gonna order Chinese.” She didn’t wait for them to answer, but fled upstairs to her room.

“I’m sorry, Willow.” Tara said meekly. Willow sat down next to her on the sofa. Willow looked at Tara’s hands, which were clenched tightly together. She reached out and touched them, causing Tara to jump as if shocked.

“Baby, look at me.” Willow cajoled. “I’m not mad at you. I know you had your reasons. I’m just a little hurt Buffy didn’t trust me.”

Tara’s eyes flew to Willow. She turned her hand, so Willow's fell into hers. “It wasn’t a matter of trust, Willow. Buffy didn’t want to lose your friendship. She was afraid you’d be disgusted with her for getting involved with Spike. She thought you might look at her differently. She loves you and Xander so much.”

Willow stroked Tara’s fingers softly, reveling in being able to touch her again. “I wouldn’t have judged. I would have been happy about the baby. Babies always make people happy.” She chirped.

“Even if the father is a vampire.” Tara remarked, trying to concentrate on the conversation and not the warmth emanating from her fingers.

“Oh, that. I..I want to say I understand why she slept with Spike, but that’s not being truthful. I know Spike loves Buffy, but Buffy loving Spike. That’s a stretch. I would have been icked, because you know, it’s Spike, but I would have accepted it. I've had to accept it. They’ve been all over each other these last few weeks. It’s been pretty difficult to miss the sexual vibes.”

Tara looked at her sympathetically. “Will, that one moment of ickiness, would have been crushing to Buffy.” Dawn stood on the stairs, hidden from their view, listening to the conversation.

“I’m gonna tell you something. Something told to me in secret, but I think you need to know what Buffy’s been feeling over these last five months.” Tara sat up straighter, looking Willow straight in the eye. “Buffy has been struggling for months to get out of that coffin. The resurrection spell may have restored her body, but her soul was lost. We didn’t understand or appreciate how devastating a change it was for Buffy. Spike understood. He understood everything Buffy was going through, and those things he didn’t, he allowed her to work through them on her own. Spike didn’t expect anything from Buffy. We did. We expected her to come back and be the Buffy of old. To be the sister, the friend, the Slayer. When in reality, she was a scared young woman having to face a world she had willing left behind.”

Tara paused briefly, gathering her thoughts. “Buffy started seeing Spike a few weeks after Sweet left town. He offered her an escape. She could feel any and everything with him, and he would take it because he loved her. But Buffy was lying to herself. She thought she had an out for wanting Spike. She thought she’d come back wrong. So if she was wrong, then there was an excuse for sleeping with Spike. But you see, Willow, there wasn’t anything wrong with Buffy. And that shocked her. Shocked her so much because she realized what she was feeling was real. That’s when things got bad for them. She hated Spike for loving her. She hated herself for feeling anything for Spike. She hurt him, physically and mentally.”

Images of Spike, his eye swollen shut assailed Dawn. She had asked him what had happened. He shrugged it off saying he got into a fight at Willie’s. He lied to her. It wasn’t another demon. It was Buffy. Dawn felt sick to her stomach, remembering how awful Spike had looked. “She could have killed him.” She said loud enough for Tara and Willow to hear.

“Dawn, come here.” Tara’s gentle voice called.

When Dawn had settled herself on the floor next to Tara, she continued. “Buffy hated what she’d become. In her mind, she had to be using Spike. She never allowed herself to think of what she was doing as an act of love. So, she pushed Spike away, and she was miserable. Dawn’s right. They have a second chance for happiness.”

Tara squeezed Willow’s hand gently to let her know she understood what she was feeling. “I know you, Willow, you’d never intentionally say anything or do anything that would cause Buffy pain. I thought you should know what she’s been going through. Maybe, it’ll help you to understand why she was so secretive about Spike, about her life.

Willow was finding it hard to keep from crying. Buffy had been hurting, dying a little each day, and she hadn’t seen it. “I’m an awful friend. I should have seen it. I should have known what she was feeling.” Willow sobbed.

“Willow, you know Buffy. She thinks she has to protect us from everything, even herself. I wasn’t there for her either. I never looked at things from her point of view. It was all about my pain, my needs. For once, Buffy needed me. So, there’s plenty of blame to go around.” Tara smiled proudly at Dawn. She was slowly becoming the thoughtful, young woman Tara envisioned her to be. Joyce would be proud. She thought.

“Willow, Buffy needs you, not apologies. Nothing can change what’s gone on in the past. We can only move forward. Buffy’s having a baby, and it’s a scary, wonderful thing.” Tara placed her arm around Dawn’s shoulders and gave her a quick hug. “Now, that you know, we can get down to finding out how this happened.”

“Oh, my goddess!” Willow shrieked. “I totally forgot about that. Buffy must be freaked."

“She’s freaked in a good way. She really wants this baby. So does Spike. But Buffy’s worried about the Council and Warren. She’s worried she’ll have to choose between the baby and the world, like she did with Angel.” Dawn’s eyes lost some of their brightness.

“I’ll keep looking. Now, that I know what I’m really supposed to be looking for.” Willow amended happily.

Willow giggled. A bemused Tara asked, "what?"

"Just realized why Spike's been uber-protective guy lately. He must be thrilled about Buffy and the baby."

"He is." Dawn answered, shifting around till she faced both Tara and Willow. "He's on cloud nine or higher. He's all into baby books, and everything. I'm going to get him a library card, so he'll stop swiping them. By the time the baby's born, he'll know as much as Dr. Schulz."

"You took her to Dr. Schulz?" Willow guessed it was for the best, but she still felt jealous and hurt that it wasTara doing these things for Buffy and not her.

Tara saw the look on Willow's face and sought to reassure her. "Buffy was worried about going to a regular doctor. I thought Dr. Shultz would be the best of both worlds." Tara knew she shouldn't feel guilty about lying to Willow. Buffy had needed her help, and she was there when Willow wasn't able to be. She wouldn't apologize for that.

"Hey, guys, since we are all with the revealing truths. I have another one. Anya knows." Dawn announced. "I ordered lots of veggie lo mein. Anybody care for some?" She said trying unsuccessfully to soften the blow.

"Damn, I was afraid of that." Tara's use of an expletive brought about a round of laughter from Willow and Dawn. It was a nice ice breaker from the tense moments of before.

"So..sorry." Tara stammered, a pretty blush creeping over her peach skin. Willow thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

Dawn sat back on her elbows, smiling at the picture in front of her. Willow and Tara were staring into each other's eyes, and Willow was drawing little circles in the palm of Tara's hand. Her family was finally coming together. She couldn't have been happier.

"Don't worry, Tara. Anya promised not to say anything. Oh, she did say Buffy and Spike weren't the first Slayer/Vampire couple to have a baby."

"Why didn’t you say something sooner?" Willow demanded.

"Well," Dawn hedged, "you made your announcement and there was the little kidnapping thing this afternoon. It kinda slipped my mind. Okay!"

"Okay, Dawnie. It’s okay. We know you’ve been through a lot today." Tara smiled as she tucked Dawn’s hair behind her ear. "What exactly did Anya say about this Slayer?"

Dawn returned Tara’s smile appreciatively. "She said there was a pregnant Slayer in France, before the Revolution. She didn’t remember the exact year or anything like that."

"Did she know the girl’s name?" Willow asked, fascinated and impressed with Anya’s seemingly endless knowledge of all things.

Dawn shook her head. "No, she was there cursing somebody. She might know more, but you’ll have to ask her. Do you want me to call her?" At their affirmative nods, she ran to retrieve the phone.

"Are we okay, Willow? I’m sorry I lied to you, but Buffy needed to keep this a secret. I know I betrayed your trust. I can’t apologize enough."

"Tara, after all the things I’ve done to you, to Buffy, to Dawn, I can’t judge any of you. I should be begging your forgiveness. I hate the fact Buffy didn’t feel comfortable sharing something this important with me, but I understand it." Tara wanted to comfort her, needed to. She opened her arms, and Willow fell into her embrace with a sigh. It was like coming home for both of them. It was so natural and easy to be with the other.

Dawn watched them, happy they had gotten past this small obstacle. Dawn pressed the speed dial button for the Magic Box, and waited patiently as Anya made her opening pitch. "Anya, it’s Dawn. Yes, I know this is your busiest time of the evening, but Tara and Willow need to ask you some questions. Yes, Willow knows. She figured it out the same way you did. Yes, you beat her to the punch." Dawn covered the receiver and motioned for Tara to help her. "Yes, I’ll tell them to make it quick." Dawn rolled her eyes, and gratefully handed the phone to Tara.

The doorbell rang, and Dawn jumped up to get it. Willow stopped her from yanking the door open. She peered out the side window and saw their regular delivery guy outside. Dawn gave Willow the money, and took the food back into the dining room. She and Willow set the plates out, while Tara finished up the call.

"Dawnie, I could have paid for this. I know Buffy’s going to need all the extra cash she can get for the baby." Dawn turned her head away, trying to hide the silly grin on her face.
"Oh, we’re good on the money issue. I had some left over from my monthly check from dear old Dad." There was no way, she was going to tell Willow there was a thousand dollars hidden in a shoe box in her room. Spike would definitely kill her if she let the cat out of the bag before he had a chance to explain things to Buffy.

Tara sat down at the table, chuckling.

"What did she say?" Willow asked, anxious to know what had Tara so amused. She scooped a large portion of Zeng’s Tofu Delight onto her plate. Dawn curled her lip in disgust, and shoved a fork full of General Tao’s Chicken in her mouth. Tara patted her back when she choked on a spicy pepper.

Once Tara was assured Dawn wasn’t going to need the Heimlich maneuver, she answered Willow’s question. "What didn’t she say? First, she told me it wasn’t nice to lie to your friends. Anya, then proceeded to tell me she was hurt that no one seemed concerned about her this afternoon, since she technically helped to rescue Dawn. Then, she gave me a little more information on the Slayer. She was French, and young. Anya said she definitely wasn’t as old as Buffy when she conceived, so that rules out our theory about Buffy’s age being the cause."

"Well, at least we know that much. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find out who she was." Willow told them.

"Do you think her Watcher’s diary will have any clues as to how this happened, besides the natural way?"

Willow shrugged. "I don’t know, Dawnie. He might have some information, but getting to it, may be kinda difficult."

"Why, honey?" Tara asked as she speared a shrimp with her fork.

"They keep those things locked up pretty tight. Remember, Dawn had to break into a locked cabinet to get to Giles’. Just think about the amount of security they’ll place around something like that."

"Technically, I didn’t break into anything. That was Spike." Dawn said in her defense. "I just directed him to the drawer." Both Tara and Willow smiled, glad they could laugh about it now.

"Do what you can Will. That’s all Buffy wants. She doesn’t want the Council finding out about this baby, till she knows what’s going on. If she can prove to them the baby isn't evil, then maybe they’ll leave her alone."

"She doesn’t have to tell them Spike’s the father. She can tell them anything to keep the baby safe." Dawn hated the Council. The only good thing the Council had done was to leave Buffy the hell alone.


That fucker. Like I would risk my child. Buffy fumed, silently.

They'd driven down the alleys of the warehouse district for over an hour. Every once in awhile they would stop to check out a propped door or a busted light, but so far they'd found nothing. Not that Buffy would have noticed a big neon sign saying 'Dorks live here'.

I would never endanger your life, little one. You're everything to me. Your daddy's just a jackass, that's all. Her breath caught as a sharp pain lanced through her stomach. Sorry, sorry. She whispered. Forgot how protective you are of him. Already, Daddy's little girl, aren't you? Buffy smiled, thinking of her father. At one time, she was the apple of his eye, before he became obsessed with his secretary. My daughter will never know that pain. She vowed. She knew she didn't have to worry. Spike would always love and protect their girl. Buffy wiped away a tear. She missed him. It had only been an hour, and she missed him. Oh, he'd love that. Buffy Summers pining for an evil, bloodsucking fiend. He'd never let her hear the end of it. God, she had it bad. Ain't love grand? Her mind taunted her. "Oh, shut up!"

“Did you say something, Buffy?”

Buffy turned, startled. “Huh, ah, nothing, Xander. Just thinking out loud.”

“About Spike? Hey, Peroxide Boy thinks he knows everything. He doesn’t. You were right to not let him tell you what to do.” Xander was more than happy with the present state of events. Buffy was pissed. She and Spike weren’t talking. This was better than Xander could have imagined. He hoped, being away from Spike-eromes would clear her head, and bring Buffy back to her senses.

“I know he’s concerned, Xander, but I can take care of myself. And..and I would never endanger her life. What the hell could he have been thinking?” Buffy put one manicured nail in her mouth and bit down, cursing the fact that Spike had driven her to ruin her manicure.

“I know. I’m kinda surprised he’d question your love for Dawn. You only died a year ago to save her.”

Buffy grimaced. Poor Xander, he thought they were talking about Dawn, not her unborn child. Buffy knew she was only making the situation worse by keeping Xander in the dark about her pregnancy, but she just couldn’t do it. Everyone else would be happy for her. Xander wouldn’t, and Buffy didn’t want to have to choose between her oldest friend and her lover and their child.

“He can be so infuriating. I don’t know whether to kill him sometimes or ...” Buffy blushed thinking of other more pleasant things she could do and had done to Spike. Xander was looking at her expectantly, and she quickly sought to change the subject. “I just saw a light over there.”

Xander recognized the attempted ploy, and welcomed it. He had noticed the dreamy tone of Buffy's voice. He really didn’t want to explore that particular train of thought anymore than Buffy did.

Xander followed Buffy’s outstretched arm pointing to a warehouse on the right. He stared at the darkened windows, then saw the glint too. Xander pulled over and parked. He reached in the back seat and started rummaging through the weapons bag. Buffy had gotten out of the car and was checking the alley for any signs of life. Xander joined her and they both seemed to doubt what they’d seen earlier.

“Good goobily goobily! It doesn’t look like anyone’s been around here in ages.” Buffy silently agreed, but this placed seemed eerily familiar.

“This could be a glam spell to make it look abandoned. I wish Tara was here. If this is a spell, she could at least detect it, and make it go away.” Buffy looked up at the expanse of windows. “Xander, give me a boost. I want to look inside.” Xander cupped his hands, bracing his arms on his knees. Buffy stepped lightly up, and steadied herself on his shoulders.

“Don’t drop me.” She warned, then realized that wasn’t necessary. Xander wouldn’t let anything happen to her, anymore than Spike would. But Spike has the strength and speed to catch me if I fall. She thought.

Buffy reluctantly wiped years of caked dirt off the window and peered inside. Empty boxes were strewn all over the place. Why is this place so familiar? Buffy made a mental note to ask Spike about this place later. He should at least have an idea since this area was where he and Dru set up shop all those years ago.

Bitch! Buffy mumbled. Crazy, psycho... Wait! Her 1200 SAT brain reminded her. Psycho and crazy mean the same thing. The other less scholarly part of her brain answered ‘Oh, bugger off.’ Where was I? Buffy mused. Oh, yeah. Crazy, psycho, doll-loving bitch. If Dru knew what was good for her, she’d stay the hell away from Spike. I meant, Sunnydale. Her heart, which had been listening to the war of words by Buffy’s mind, spoke up? Jealous much? Spike loves you and only you. Until Buffy felt the splinter go into her palm, she hadn’t realized she was gripping the ledge so tightly. She looked down at the crumbling wood and felt better after imagining it was Dru’s head.

Jonathan and Andrew were huddled together under the window, hoping Buffy wouldn’t come inside. It Buffy’s view hadn’t been obstructed by Dru and the boxes stacked high around them, she would have seen signs that the Troika had indeed taken up residence in the building. Buffy took one final look, knowing there was something special about this particular building. “Okay, Xander, you can let me down.” Xander gripped her tightly around the waist, as Buffy slid down to the ground. She smiled gratefully at him, then pulled out of his embrace. She gave a little shake, not of revulsion, but weirdness. It felt wrong to be pressed up against anyone, but Spike.

“Did you see anything?” Xander asked as nonchalantly as possible. For the first time, in a long time, he’d gotten a jolt from touching Buffy. She must have felt something too, because she jumped. Could Buffy be feeling the same thing for him too?

“Nope, nothing to see. A big, dusty room with a lot of boxes. I'll come back in the morning to check this place out. Something doesn’t feel right. I’ll ask Spike later.” She shrugged her shoulders already dismissing the place.

“If you don’t want to talk to him, I will.” Xander volunteered. He had a few things to say to Spike, and this was the perfect opportunity. Or so he thought.

Buffy turned to look at him, bewildered. “Why wouldn’t I want to talk to him?”

Xander stopped and stared at her. “I just assumed you had come to your senses and were ending this thing with Spike.”

Buffy stopped by the car and looked at Xander. Why must the men in my life be so bull-headed? She asked the heavens.

“Xander, Spike and I fight all the time. In comparison to some of our fights, this was pretty mild. Unless you see dust, don’t assume anything. We’re still together.” Buffy was starting to get tired of explaining this to him. Nothing, short of death, was going to break them up.

Xander shook his head, disappointment oozing out of every pore. “I’m confused, Buffy. You wouldn’t allow Angel, the supposed love of your life, to tell you what to do, but you’ll let Spike. Riley wanted to protect and care for you, and you pushed him away. Spike does all these things, and all you can do is bat your lashes at him.”

Buffy squared her shoulders and tilted her head to the side. Xander started as if he was shocked. She looked so much like Spike, he wondered why he didn’t notice it sooner.

“Don’t stop now, Xander. Get it all out. I know we missed our morning lecture. I’m sure this has been building up.” She remarked sarcastically. I’m surprised he’s able to walk straight with that corn cob up his ass.

Xander saw the warning signs, heard the bells, but plowed ahead anyway. “I’m just confused, Buffy. You said you loved Angel. You cared deeply for Riley. Yet, they’re both gone. So what exactly do you feel for Spike, besides lust? Do you love him?”

It was on the tip of her tongue to say ‘yes’, to wipe that smug look off his face. She knew the truth. Hell, Spike knew the truth. It was just hard for her to say it without waiting for the train wreck that would follow. She didn’t owe Xander any explanation. Why was it necessary to share her private life with him? It was between her and Spike. It was the smirk on Xander’s face that decided things for her.

“This is so none of your business, but I’ll tell you this. Spike loves me. Me. I’ve never been involved in a relationship like this before. Not with Angel. Not with Riley. Spike truly loves me. He’s not Angel.” Buffy was surprised to find she didn’t feel sad when she thought of him anymore. “Spike doesn’t put me on a pedestal. I don’t have to be perfect. I can be myself. When I was with Angel, I was always sad. We were like the Romeo and Juliet of the 90’s. Well, guess what, Xander? Love isn’t about dying for each other. It’s about living each day with someone who loves you back. And Spike is so not Riley, thankfully. Normal. Who wants normal? Normal is boring. I’ll never be normal. With Riley, that’s all I tried to do. It was tearing me up inside. Why was I the one that had to change? Why couldn’t Riley accept that I’m the Slayer?” B

uffy leaned against the car. She wasn’t mad or angry with Riley anymore. She didn’t want that so-called normal life. She wasn’t jealous or envious of what Riley and Sam had. Their sappy, too perfect relationship had made her nauseous, but at the time, she couldn’t see what she had. She closed her eyes, seeing Spike’s haunted look. She hated what she’d done to him.

“Spike loves Buffy. Spike loves the Slayer. I don’t have to choose one life over the other. And news flash, Xander, loving someone means accepting them as is, not trying to change them to fit your view of what’s the perfect mate. I’m happy, and that’s all that should matter. You should be happy for me because I’m truly happy." And she was. Despite the uncertainties, the unknown, she was really happy for the first time in over 2 years.

Xander winced at the barb directed at him about Anya. Hadn’t Anya said the exact same thing? Hadn’t he looked back over their years together and realized how he’d tried to change her? He still refused to believe that Spike could make Buffy happy. Spike was a vampire, and sooner or later, he was going to turn on Buffy. He just hoped she was able to do her duty and stake him before someone she loved got hurt.

"I'm going to Willie's. Hopefully, Spike's still there. We'll catch up with you at the Magic Box." Xander watched Buffy turn and walk away. He slammed his hand on the roof of the care, angry at himself for once again pushing Buffy towards Spike. Now, he had to go face the biggest failure of his life.


Spike grabbed Willie by the shirt and pulled him up and over the bar counter. “What do you know, Willie? And before you lie, know this: I’ve had a bad day, and you are such a rat, I doubt the chip would go off while I kicked the shit out of you.” Willie gulped loudly. “C’mon, Spike. I wouldn’t lie to you. We’re buddies.” Spike smirked.

“Okay, okay, we’re not buddies, but I would tell you if someone was after the Slayer. I know the two of you are good friends.” Willie would have winked, but Spike’s eyes had gone yellow.

“Look, Spike, I don’t know anything.” He said loudly enough for the demons close by to hear, but they couldn’t see him shift his eyes towards the back room.

Spike tilted his head in thanks, and dropped Willie, who stumbled back against the back bar. Spike grabbed a bottle, slipping Willie a twenty. He checked his back, saw no one behind him, and strode purposely to the card room. He leaned against the door, hearing muffled voices, 2 demon and 1 human. Spike opened the door hard, startling the occupants. Two huge, multi-horned Kalsta demons bolted out of their seats, shoving their human companion behind them. Spike’s lip curl in a sneer. Warren. The little shit.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Spike said, loudly. "Warren, I hope you’re not here planning my girl’s death, because I’d hate to have to kill you." Warren didn’t look like he believed Spike. "I’m lying, of course, but sue me, I’m a vampire."

Spike entered the room, the bottle hanging loosely between his fingers. "Kalsta demons. Nasty sorts, aren’t you? Mercenaries for hire. I hope Warren is going to pay you well. The Slayer won’t go down easy. She won’t go down at all, if I have anything to say about it. And I do. So why don’t you gits, leave now, and you’ll live. Stay here, and you’ll die. I promise you."

The Kalstas looked him over, sizing up their intended victim. To the casual observer, Spike looked loose limbed, almost bored with the situation. If Buffy had been there, she would have taken a step back, knowing Spike was about to wreck some serious havoc on them. Warren inched closer and closer to the door. He had no intention of allowing Spike or the Slayer to take him down. These demons were ruthless. Spike didn’t stand a chance. With Spike out of the way, that only left Buffy’s human friends to deal with, and next time he would be prepared for them.

Spike saw the little weasel at the door, and decided it was time to make his move. Flipping the bottle in the air, he sprayed the alcohol on the unsuspecting demons, causing them to howl in pain. He took a chair and brought it down on the head of the Kalsta on his right. Warren yelped and ran out the door into the parking lot. The failing arm of the other Kalsta caught Spike on the chin, knocking him down temporarily. By the time, he got up, all he could see were the tail lights of the van as it sped down the street.

"Fuck! That’s just bloody great! Slayer’s gonna kick my ass for sure. The little shit!"

Spike patted his pockets for his cigarettes. Is nothing going to go right tonight? He thought. And the morning started off so nicely. He sensed the attack, and managed to get out of the way, but not entirely. The blow caught him on the flank, slicing him. He clutched his side, and saw blood dripping between his fingers.

"You ripped my shirt, you bastard! Now, you have to die." Spike spun around, and jumped the Kalsta that had speared him. Taking his arm, Spike whipped him into the brick wall, knocking him unconscious. That left Spike with the other Kalsta, who seemed to be waiting for his chance to take him on.

"Oh, think you can take the Big Bad all by yourself?" The Kalsta sneered. At least, Spike thought it was a sneer. You could never tell with all that goo running down his face. "Come on, let’s do this."

The Kalsta roared and charged Spike. Spike met him halfway with a vicious kick to the stomach. The blow caused the Kalsta to stagger. Willie stuck his head cautiously out the door. He shrank back as the Kalsta picked Spike up and threw him against the dumpster. Now, don’t get Willie wrong. He thought Spike was a swell guy, for a vamp, but he was glad this fight was taking place outside of his establishment. He’d miss Spike’s money and wicked sense of humor, but he was a businessman after all. Willie pulled the door closed and locked it, whistling to himself as he strode back to the front of the bar. The tune died on his lips when he saw the blonde haired woman with her back to him.

"Oh, shit." Willie turned quickly, attempting to hide before she saw him. A hand clamped down strongly on his shoulder, yanking him back. "Willie, hiya doing?" Buffy asked, wondering if Willie’s special brand of slime was contagious.

"Slayer, how ya doing? What brings you around these parts?" He asked, trying to ease his shoulder out of her grip. "Are you trying to run me out of business?"

Buffy smiled evilly. "Yep. Where’s Spike?" She said seriously, looking around the now-empty bar.

"Go away, Slayer! You’re bad for business. My customers don’t like being threatened." He said steely, hoping his shaking knees didn’t give him away for the coward he was.

Buffy sighed heavily, and squeezed Willie’s shoulder, digging her fingers into the muscles there. "Don’t make me ask you again, Willie! Where Is Spike?" Buffy punctuated each word with ever-increasing pressure.

"Out..out back with some Kalsta demons." He gasped from the pain. Buffy had never heard of a Shasta demon. She released him when she saw him about to embarrass himself by crying. Willie rubbed at his sore shoulder, positive he’d have bruises for weeks. "He interrupted their meeting, so they went outside to settle things. I'm telling you the truth. So, go, go get him."

Buffy smacked him on the nose.

"Oww! Oww! Whatcha do that for? I told you where he was?" Willie said as he pinched the bridge of his broken nose.

"For sending him back there, you little twerp. Besides, Willie", she whispered, "had to make it look good."


Spike fell to his knees, exhausted, and a little pissed it was taking this long to bring this guy down. He doubted the Kalsta would give up any information. They were notoriously tight-lipped about their business. Besides, he wanted to see Buffy, to put his hands on her and make sure she and Bitty Bit were alright. The Kalsta took Spike’s momentary distraction as an opportunity to deliver a death blow. Spikes came out of his arm, not nearly as thick as the one on his head, but sharp enough to sever a particular blonde vamp’s head from his body.

All Buffy could think when she saw the demon swing at Spike, was ‘I’m gonna kill him!’

Spike spun around when he smelled vanilla, and knew instantly that his Slayer was here. He hadn’t expected to her to show up, but now that she was here, he was extremely pleased she’d sought him out. Now, if Buffy had known what Spike was thinking at this particular moment, she might have allowed the Kalsta one swipe at him.

The Kalsta attempted to dislodge her from his back, but Buffy held him tightly, slowly squeezing him till she heard his neck pop. She slid off as he crumpled to the ground, dead.

"We needed him alive, Pet! He met with Warren tonight." Spike screamed, his whole body aching to touch her.

I need you alive. She thought, then remembered she was pissed at him for a whole lot of things. "I was trying to help, you ingrate! I should have let him kick your ass for what you said earlier." Buffy was careful not to mention the baby. That was all she needed for the demon pop of Sunnydale to discover the Slayer was pregnant.

"I’d say it again if it keeps you safe. By the way, luv, what the fuck are you doing here?" Spike screamed back at her.

Buffy put her hands on her hips, defiantly, but her eyes roamed over his body, making sure he wasn’t hurt any worse than usual. "I hate you." She said with no venom.

"No, you don’t, Pet." Spike answered with a smile as he limped over to a crate and sat down. Buffy joined him, sitting close enough that their hands grazed each other. "It’d be easier on both of us if we did."

Buffy guessed this was as good a place as any to make amends for earlier. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. I’d die protecting her."

"Me, too." Spike agreed, glancing at her from under his eyelashes.

"Don’t want to die. No more death wishes for me. I kinda like what I have here." She said, taking his cool hand in her warm one, scorching him with her heat.

"I kinda like what I have here, too, Luv." Spike traced her cheek with his finger. Buffy leaned over and brushed her lips over his gently, quickly. It wouldn’t be safe for them to indulge themselves outside in the open, but when they got home, that was another story all together. Buffy licked her lip, tasting Spike’s blood on her tongue. Just like the man himself, it sent shivers of pleasure down her spine. She should have been grossed out by that, but she was learning to broaden her horizons.

"We can’t. Not here." She said, kissing him one final time. "We have to get to the Magic Box before Anya curses Xander or worse." She felt Spike’s laughter on her lips. “But then again, after what just happened, maybe I should let her give him something.”

Spike hissed as he bent to pick up his coat, causing Buffy to look at him closely. “Let me see.” She said, exasperated.

“I’m fine. Tell me what the whelp said to you.” Spike pushed her hand away.

“Stop it, you big baby. Now, let me see.” Buffy pushed her fingers under his shirt, tickling the skin.

“Buff, if you don’t stop, we won’t make it to the Magic Box.”

Buffy looked up at him coyly, but didn’t stop her exploration. “You’re bleeding, Spike.” She said, her breath coming out in a rush. Spike pulled her close, his chin resting in her hair. “It’s already started to heal. If you want, you can go a little lower, I’ve got something else that needs to be stroked.”

Buffy leaned back, her ponytail falling between her shoulder blades. He was so good at being bad. How she went a month without him boggled her mind. Spike couldn’t resist kissing her cute little nose. But he didn’t want her in an alley, at least not this time. He wanted her stretched out on her nice comfy bed, where he could take his time memorizing her skin.

“Magic Box. Home. Bed.”

“I know.” She said disappointedly. They had to be responsible. They were going to be parents, not only to their own child, but to Dawn too.

“So, what did the whelp say to make you so mad?” Spike prodded. “It’s about us, isn’t it? Xander still can’t accept that we’re..” Spike stopped, unsure of what exactly they were. It seemed to change from week to week.

“We’re together.” Buffy finished for him. She slid her hand in his, a gesture she’d been doing a lot in the last few weeks. It was a very couple thing to do. Spike mused.

“It wasn’t anything he hasn’t said before. No big deal. He doesn’t know about little bit." She said borrowing his nickname for Dawn. "So he’s gone super-protective and it’s grating on my nerves.”

Spike stopped. “Pet, Xander’s problem is the fact he loves you. And not just in the friend kind of way. He loves you the way I love you. Forever.”

Buffy was reeling from the forever comment, so it took a minute before she realized what he’d said. “No, he’s not, Spike. Xander’s my oldest friend. He thinks he knows what’s best for me, based on the rousing success of my past relationships.” Buffy pulled on Spike’s arm to get him walking again.

“Believe that if it makes you feel better, Blondie. I don’t really care two quid about Xander, but we can’t go on like this. You need to come clean with him about Bitty Bit, and soon.” Spike opened the door to the DeSoto and Buffy slid inside. Spike was wrong, wasn’t he? The concept of Xander being in love with her was so far off-base, Buffy laughed.

“He’s in love with you.” Spike singsonged, slamming his door shut. “He wants you for himself. He wants to be your knight-in-shining-armor. He thinks if he waits long enough he‘ll be the long-haul guy. But you see, I‘ve got him beat on longevity.”

Buffy unzipped her jacket, never taking her eyes off Spike. “If I take my clothes off, would you please stop talking about Xander long enough to ravage me in the back seat of your car?”

Spike shrugged, nonchalantly, but Buffy knew better. “Well, if I must.” He said, grabbing her.


Anya wrote the last entry in the ledger, and closed the book with a thud. The sound reverberated off the walls of the empty store, emphasizing the distance between the former lovers. Xander looked at her sharply, then returned to his vigil by the front window.

“If you’re so worried about Buffy, go and look for her, but stop putting your fingerprints on my window. I just cleaned it.” Xander sighed, frustrated.

"It's called being a friend, Anya. I should have never let her go off by herself. Warren’s gunning for her, and I let her go off to Willie's.

"You didn't let Buffy do anything. She does what she wants. She's fine. If you don't believe me, go look for her. I can manage here by myself. Not like I haven't had to do it before." She muttered sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean, Anya?" Xander demanded.

"What it means it this. Buffy is the Slayer. She can pretty much take care of herself. She doesn't need normal guy to protect her from things that go bump in the night. If she runs into any real trouble, Spike will be there." Anya came from behind the counter, and stood with her arms crossed. "This is ironic. For three years, I played second fiddle to Buffy and Willow, and now, you're the one on the outside looking in at Spike and Buffy." Anya ran her hand through her blonde hair. "I feel sorry for you. I really do."

Xander looked at her with contempt, knowing she was right, but hating to hear it.

"Oh, stop it, Xander. You can hate the messenger, but listen to the message. Buffy loves Spike. She isn't going to wake up one day, and go, 'Golly gee, look what I've been missing all these years. I should have been with Xander.' You will always be Buffy's friend, nothing more. For most people that would be enough, but not for you. You're willing to ruin a good friendship, because you can't control your emotions."

"Shut up, Anya!" Xander shouted and walked away from her, knowing if she said one more word, he would smack her.

Oh, my god, he thought. That's what my father would have done. He would have hit Mom to shut her up. He looked back at Anya, but she was busy placing some books in a bag. He saw his wedding day vision. Anya dead by his hand, and why? Because she had said something about Buffy. It all came back to Buffy. What was happening to him? He was turning into his father. The drinking. The irrational anger. It was all too much to think about. That vision seemed more truth than fiction, now.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it." Anya said as if reading his mind.

Just then, Spike and Buffy walked in. They were the perfect contrast to Anya and Xander.

"I don't remember doing that." Buffy said, rushing in ahead of Spike.

"Just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean it didn't happen, luv. I've got the marks to prove it." Spike quipped.

The silence of the room was so apparent, Buffy didn't respond to Spike's teasing. She looked at him, and saw the same expression on his face. What the hell did we walk into? She mouthed.

"Hey, guys. Sorry, we got delayed."

"Let's go." Xander said abruptly, pushing past Buffy.

"Xander?" Buffy asked to his departing back. Spike saw her face shadowed with guilt and concern, and wanted to smash Xander's face.

It wasn't usually Anya's thing to comfort others, but she was sick and tired of Xander's guilt trips on Buffy. "Look, Buffy, you can't fix what's wrong with Xander. Just concentrate on your own life, and let him figure his out. That's what I'm doing. Nothing is going to work for Xander until he confronts some truths about himself."

Spike could have kissed her. Buffy acknowledged the truth in what Anya was saying. She couldn't make Xander happy, by making herself miserable. "I know you're right. I just hate seeing him so angry."

Spike cupped Buffy's face, stroking her cheek lightly. "Let's go home to the Bit."

Buffy closed her eyes, taking in Spike's strength and love. It was like a rush of adrenaline. "Yeah, let's get back to Dawn."

"Uh, luv, you might want to ride with the whelp. My car isn't in the best of shape." Spike suggested to Anya, who shook her head.

“Why? I’ve ridden in it before. Did you kill something in it recently? “ Anya said peering into the back seat. Buffy lowered her eyes, but her suddenly red face gave her away.

"Humph! So, while I was here, getting the cold shoulder from Xander, the two of you were having fantastic car sex." Anya pulled the door open. Buffy refused to look at her, and Spike couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, at least, someone's having great sex. I'm still riding with you. Just tell me where not to sit."

Buffy wished the earth would just open up and swallow her. Her face burned with embarrassment, but she was the only one. Oh, no, the demons just thought it was the most natural thing to discuss their sex lives.

"I'll sit in the back, Anya. If either of you makes one comment, one little crack, I may kill you." She threatened.

Spike and Anya hid their grins, but once Buffy slid in the back, Anya gave Spike the thumbs up sign.

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